Monday, June 04, 2007

The Absolute Joy of Being Home


To bring joy to the home, it may be necessary to boot the noise-filled, demanding world, out the door and never let it come back. Move all media to the basement or to an uneasily accessible place in the house--perhaps a small corner or an unused room, can eliminate some of the stress of the world. Newspapers, magazines and radio seem to be full of doom and worry. Soon everyone is looking for signs of disease or disaster. Their hearts constrict and their breathing becomes shallow. They don't know whether to continue on with life or give up. I read on someone's blog about her media fast. At day 30, she was enjoying life more than ever and her blood pressure had become normal. She was no longer having panic attacks. She was sleeping normally and not experiencing nightmares. Her home had become her haven.




"Returning Home" by Lene Alston Casey

Adding soothing pictures that depict the values you love, of home and family, can also bring joy back into the home. Home should be so different than the rest of the world that it is like stepping into a beautiful dream world of peace and love. Good art certainly contributes to that atmosphere.


It may be encouraging just to experiment with one room in the house. Arrange and decorate it with the colors and furnishings that make you feel happy. It is not necessary to please everyone you know, but at the same time, it is not avisable to do something so unpleasant or garrish that your family would be put off. In doing something "good and lovely", think of rose gardens, nature, seascapes and all the beauty and color that nature provides. Very few people are repulsed by a beautiful sunset or a beautiful house. Use these colors and structures when applying beauty to your home.

"My Lady's Chamber" Yet another way of bring absolute joy to the home is to practice good manners. Good manners simply mean care and concern for others. I've written several articles on manners at the Lady Lydia Speaks column at www.ladiesagainstfeminism.org. Good manners involve peaceful living on the part of all family members, care of personal posessions, having a servant's heart, and having a worthwhile purpose in life. Good manners involve dressing respectably and speaking respectfully. Well mannered people make the home a perfect place to live.

Bring joy to living at home by doing the things that you really like to do there: plant a beautiful plant, have a quiet moment with your favorite herbal tea and a beautiful tea set (my current favorite is orange spice herbal tea). Make a pretty card for someone. (I make cards called "scrap cards" or "altered cards" in which I add clippings and stickers, lace or buttons, and alter the verse by covering it with another greeting. This way, cards can be made to suit the one you are sending them to.

Working at home can be more fun than you realize. Being mistress of your own home means you don't have to worry about losing your job or applying for changes or trying to get an act of Congress before you can improve it. Home is the last frontier of freedom. Let us excercise that freedom and make each home a little country, with its own culture, its own rules, and its own particular beauty.

"Flower Cottage Irish"

I take great interest in the way our forefathers lived, because they had strong families and they managed to pass on many positive things about homelife, into the next generation and the next and the next. I wonder sometimes what we will pass on in this generation: the hurried, pressured life of trying to keep up with everything and everyone, or real values of truth and


beauty and preservation of the values of marriage, home and family. What we do daily in our homes will have a great impact on society around us and on the next generation. The houses of that era interest me because they used their houses for so many different things. It was not necessary for a family to go "somewhere else" to escape the pressures of life.

"Country Welcome" by Carl Valente I was blessed with a husband who only wants me to be happy. If the color of a wall depressed me, he would say "Re-paint." If I experienced too much pressure to shop for groceries, he would say "Give me a list and I'll get them on my way home." If I wanted to go for a drive and look for scenery, he would say, "let's go." If I experienced difficulty in some of my homemaking responsibilities he would want to know what he could do to make it easier to me. This kind of husband has made it possible to live as I wish and make my life-long dream of having a happy family and a nice home, possible.

Each member of the family, whether a husband or a child, should be willing to help the homemaker, because it will in turn help them have a beautiful and happy home. At the same time the lady of the house gives back to the husband by serving him cheerfully in many ways. I just love putting my ironing board in a sunny place in the house and getting his shirts starched and ironed for the week. I enjoy making an attractive packed lunch for him. He makes it easy for me by providing the way to do it. He makes sure the rest of the world doesn't impose on me, so that my time and energy goes into the things that really give me joy. My great-grandmother had a strong husband who appeared to be very gruff and unapproachable, but he was a softy when it came to his own wife, giving her the eminence in the home.


My own mother's generation had complete freedom regarding the home, and that is partly why our memories of home and childhood are so sweet.

Home is many different things: it is food, crafts, work, conversations, music, books--I can't list them all. If you aren't feeling well, you can go rest. You can't do that in a place of employment. You can take care of your husband's money, and two, really can live as cheaply as one, if you don't have to have two of everything. You can share.

"Welcome Home"
You might also find this interesting, called "Increase Happiness By Limiting Choices." http://v.mercola.com/blogs/public_blog/Increase-Your-Happiness-by-Limiting-Choices--16970.aspx The dazzling array of choices today can make your head spin and leave you frought with worry and uneasiness. In this article, Dr. Mercola suggests we are happier with
fewer choices. Check out this article on family meals in this hurried world http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,660226914,00.html


23 comments:

Anonymous said...

The title of this article really caught my attention! Because, it is a joy to be at home...and it is an added blessing if your husband supports you in your efforts, as we endeavour to support him in his work. I saw a good quote: "The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together" (Robert C. Dodds) - and if husband & wife are "thinking together" where the home is concerned, felicity for all can only be the result!
My husband is also a blessing to me. I have been home for 4 months; I came home a month before our daughter was born. While pregnant he did all the heavy shopping and lifting, drove me to doctor appointments, etc. reassured me if I became too overwhelmed. I am so glad now to be at home and care for my husband & daughter. They are the most important people in the world to me and I tell them both everyday!

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

Wonderful!

This post gave me not only good ideas to try later but brought calm and order to my soul.

Something I need with a house full of grandchildren visiting (delightful but overwhelming at times).

Thank you...as usual. There is a reason I get a smile on my face when I see something new here on Bloglines. :)

Anna said...

Lovely! You are always inspiring.

Lydia said...

Very, very, very well-said. I've also noticed that people who advocate "getting out more" often have hectic and chaotic homes. You illustrate perfectly why those of us who make our homes into sanctuaries do not feel bored, stifled, or isolated.

I love this blog so much, this is the first time I've gotten up the courage to comment on it.

Mrs.B. said...

Your blog is such a blessing and inspiration....Thank you!--These are my favorite type of posts.

I, too, am blessed with a husband who doesn't mind going to the grocery store or for us to go together. We got into that habit during our years of only having one car.

I always tease him and say 'Why should I lug around heavy groceries when I have a big, strong husband to do it for me?' (o; I think he likes that....

Blessings,
~Mrs.B

LadyLydia said...

I like going out if it is somewhere uplifting and good and will improve my life at home.

Anonymous said...

These are some of my favorite type of your posts too.

Your advice and thoughts are so opposite to everything we are taught in our culture these days, yet offer so much of value.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia, would you mind sharing where you read about the lady who went media-free for a month? It sounds like a lovely idea to me, however, I think my dh might disagree. :)

Lydia said...

LadyLydia - Of course! I wasn't implying that we should never go out, only that we really, honestly don't need to as much as our culture presents.

LLS said...

By the same token, I too can live a long time at home, content without the world. I think that is such an important element of home life---the fact that it doesn't make you restless and worried....you are right, we certainly don't need to be pulled in so many directions. I was discussing this with a friend who was really tired of not being accepted for who she was at home. She said that people today want her to bring in a salary, drive a nice car, wear high fashions, be a gourmet cook, have a perfectly clean house,decorate like a pro, and raise 4 perfect children. It is confusing to the women at home because they dont' know exactly what they should be doing. We used to know it was only just a few things we had to do, but now the women at home feel more pressure.

Lydia said...

I really can't remember where on the web I found that article about the media fast. The whole concept deserves an article and would have great discussion! There are some good things on the radio and television that are worthwhile. What I was talking about was mainly news stories. They tend to hype the population up with worry and fear, and then an ad comes on for a pharmacuetical that will calm you down. They create the problem and then they sell you something to solve it. Over the years the news has become increasingly polluting to the mine in what is broadcast. It isn't fit for children and it is deceiving the way they have the disease-of-the-month and the disaster-of-the-month, etc. No one can really settle down and enjoy life listening to that daily. As for husbands and the media--I've seen the ill effect it has on them.The wife may not be listening to it and the husband may listen to it on his way home from work, and arrive home in a very despressed mood!

LadyNicole said...

What a lovely, refreshing, reassuring post! I think that God knew I needed this today:-)!

Sherry said...

Inspiration, as usual, and so true. I do find it difficult to balance news and knowing what is going on in the world with withdrawing a bit to "recalibrate," so to speak. I do have a wonderful DH who goes to the store for me, keeps our family on even keel, and takes me on regular dates. I try to make home a haven for him, but I see areas where I need to improve on this.

Lydia said...

Ladies I'm in the process of putting the names of your blogs up so it may take some time. Some of you didn't send the actual titles and I have to go and look them up and then go into the tools and change them. It takes up less space if I just use the names.

Does anyone think I don't have enough links??????

jean said...

I really enjoy these sorts of posts, too, particularly from Lady Lydia. It is difficult to find blogs or pieces written by experienced older ladies who actually have wisdom to share; with pieces or advice written by younger women (30's on down), while well-intended, it's often a bit like the blind leading the blind. Whenever I glance to see what's new here, it's a very nice surprise to find something posted by Lydia.

Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney said...

Absolutely---it is amazing to me how much happier and calm we all are when we have less media/game/entertainment distractions. We've been without satellite tv for 2 weeks now. My children are reading more. We are having more fun. It is amazing the peace.

Anna said...

Thank you for linking to my Grace Livingston Hill blog "Neat and Dainty as a Flower"! I think you might enjoy my "real" blog as well: pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com. As long as you don't mind my obsession with vintage housecoats!

Anna

Julie Fink said...

I so enjoyed this article. I put a link to it on my house beautiful blog!www.gbchousebeautiful.blogpsot.com

Kimi Harris said...

Thanks for this post, I appreciated it.
I appreciate my husband so much in all that he does to allow me to stay home. It is a true joy.

Anonymous said...

Jean, I find your comment to be on par with my thoughts. I appreciate Lady Lydia's writings because she is a wife of many years and mother of grown children. So many of the homemaking blogs I've come across lately seem to be written by mothers with school age ( or younger) children. While it may be nice to commiserate with other moms who are in the same stage of life as yourself, I find that there is a dearth of older more experienced women dispensing advice. Lady Lydia, you are much appreciated!

Lydia said...

I actually think you'd like MY mother's comments much better!!! To the young blogger's credit, they have lots of stimulating ideas and discoveries about managing the home and living at home. I've only been through it before, )although not always gracefully.) I do believe that women were tailor made for the role of wife, mother and homemaker, and that many of the problems they have today are the result of leaving that basic role.

Mrs. Brigham said...

Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this beautiful and inspiring post! I really love the idea of the "scrap cards" that you shared and think I shall be giving this idea a try.

Have an enjoyable weekend :o)

Vicki said...

Nice post. My husband and I got rid of our satellite system about 3 or 4 years ago and only keep the tv around for an occational video. We haven't missed it one bit. We all read more and also talk to each other more.

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