Saturday, January 30, 2016

Courtesy in the Home (Video 5)


We know it is God's will for people in the home to be courteous, for the Holy Spirit, speaking through the Word, said, "...be courteous." 1 Peter 3:8.  

According to the 1828 dictionary, courtesy means to be friendly minded, polite, well-mannered, civil, obliging, and elegant. Those of you who like the stories written by Jane Austen will recall Emma saying, "When pressed, I say he is very elegant." She may have been referring to the manners of a gentleman.




Dress Up at Home

One simple way to show courtesy in the home is to dress respectably. Even when there are no others around to see you, proper dress has a tremendous impact on the mind, and if you are dressed up rather than down, you will approach your life's work at home as a profession, a ministry and an art. This will increase your sense of self-worth and ambition.

To dress for others in the home shows that you respect them and regard them highly enough to present yourself in a good light. We all have days of rest and relaxation, but we can still dress beautifully at home. It brings out the best in us and it inspires those we have in our care. Remember that children will be whatever you are, yourself, and if you want to teach them to care about how they look, be sure to look well, yourself. 

I know in this prevailing culture it is hard to find anyone dressed up for anything anymore, much less, the home. If you are depressed by the "dressing down" in the public places you go for your shopping and errands, or even travel, you probably know there is not much you can do to change it.  A recent article here  talks about a culture that refuses to dress up.  

You can, however, change things in yourself and in your home. If you dress nice to go out in public, it will spread an influence, and others will follow. You can dress up at home, and be less depressed, and influence your family. I am not speaking of formal wear or a prom dress, but of clothing that is more formal than sportswear.  It shows courtesy when you dress for your home. Dress up for your lovely home and to show courtesy to the people you love!

Pick Up After Yourself.

It is courteous to look after your own things and not leave them about for other people to pick up.  It is courteous to finish your work and not leave it for other people to finish. Everyone in the home should take care of themselves as soon as they are able to learn how, and should finish their own work if they are able. In the home, it is courteous not to burden other family members with our own possessions and messes.

One way to break the habit of leaving things laying around is to gather everything when you leave a place. When you get up from a chair, look around and pick up anything you have been using. Let the evidence of your presence be that the area looks better than before you came.

If you want to make a habit of picking things up, try it for a day and you will see it is less labor intensive than waiting for a clean-up day, and you will show courtesy to others by being a good example.

Build One Another Up

Showing courtesy at home requires that we build one another up and not spread gloom and doom in the home.  Rather than leave others with a feeling of hopelessness, try to give them help and hope and encouragement.  Learn to make life better, and not sink down into defeat.

Courtesy in the home will make life worth living, and the home the most desirable place to be. It is discourteous to complain, but it is courtesy to fix things.

Today I have a video on this subject:



Please keep writing your suggestions and ideas for subjects to cover. I am eventually going to do podcasts so you can have things to listen to while washing dishes and making beds ;-) 



I have no idea why the video transposed the scene from left to right. It should be like the photo, below. Maybe I did not notice a setting.


I usually get some questions about the cardigans I have worn in these videos. This one is Faded Glory brand cotton cardigan, price $8.00 from Walmart, available in many colors.  

19 comments:

magnoliasntea said...

Lydia, I just watched the video and loved it. Very well done.
I'm wondering if you could give us some guidelines for modest clothing.
It seems a lot of us have different ideas of what modest means. Would love to hear your opinion.

Lydia said...

Do you mean on a video?

Southern Ladye said...

How timely was this post. Today my daughter in law and I had a girls' morning out, eating breakfast at a small coffee shop and then popping into a couple of shops to look for outfits for an upcoming event. While waiting in line for one store to open, the girls behind us asked if we were dressed for a special even or if we always dressed that way. We both had on simple skirts, blouses, and cardigans with our hair fixed nicely. How sad that they thought we were dressed for a special event!

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

Another lovely video! I look forward to seeing each new video you make. They are always very thoughtful and inspirational. You have a very calming presence. I also enjoy seeing what pretty clothes you are wearing. The yellow and white today was sunny and cheerful. Sunny is always a good thing in January around here. I feel the same way you do about how the way one dresses affects the way one feels during the day.

I hope you will continue to do these videos when you start doing your podcasts, or would the podcast be done at the same time as the video?

Lydia said...

I have heard of ladies going to the grocery store at the spur of the moment still wearing their old denim skirt and were asked if they had just been to a oarty or a meeting. They were not even dressed up, but some peole thought that was "dressed up". No wonder people feel sonself-conscious when they dress better than that. They feel they stick out and it gets too much attention, so they shrink back into the more casual clothing thing.

magnoliasntea said...

A video or photos, either, would be helpful. There's nothing like having a mental picture to refer back to.

Marilla Cuthbert said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
You´re as lovely as usual. I find myself looking forward to your peaceful, inspiring words. You´re really an inspiration for us all, an encouragement to everything pure, lovely and beautiful. Today I´m going to try hard and not commenting the news, you know, all the tragedies and the political situation just seem to push us to complain. And you´re right, complaining is absolutely useless, crushes our spirits and accomplishes nothing good.
And since you want us to suggest new subjects to cover, let me remind you of one that I remember I read here in your blog some years ago: fitness. I mean, how do you manage to keep in such a slim and healthy way? Does tea have something to do with that? Or the habit of stop eating at some time in the afternoon? Do you walk? I try to do so in the sunny afternoons and getting my vitamin D at the same time. But is there any more advice you could give us so as not to become too matronly and to keep our grace as we age?
Thank you very much. God bless you.

Lydia said...

I could do one on health, possibly, and your idea of how to avoid looking too matronly is a good topic. Youthfulness can be acquired at any age. So here is a list from readers so far:

Care of hair
Care of skin
Weight control
Hospitality
Modesty
Thrift
Other interests

Keep your suggestions coming

Mary said...

These videos are great.

Tricia said...

Your videos are lovely and so appreciated! I would love to see your tips on weight control, hair care, and skin care!

Martin + Rosey said...

Thank you for the great reminders, and for the encouraging video!

Lydia said...


Thank you Lydia for inspiring me (again!) to make my home the most loveliest place that I can make it be.

And I love the beautiful ribbon you have in your hair. I have so many hair accessories that hardly ever get used, so I'll have a play with them today and make that extra little effort with my hair today.

Yours Sincerely,
Mara.

Helen Threlfo said...

Dear Lydia,
Thank you for the beautiful video! How pretty everything looks from your outfit to your decor. I have always dressed nicely around our home, including wearing make up and doing my hair. I felt it was important when my husband was out at work or doing errands to come home to me looking as nice as I could. He always noticed something and thanked me for it. I think it also helps elevate the atmosphere in our homes.
Lydia, I would like you to do a video on home decor, perhaps setting a tea table attractively? You mentioned in Video 3 on Victoria Magazine how much you looked forward to the page "Favourite Things". Could you do a video sharing some of those pages and why you liked something?
It's so nice to have fresh ideas on how to add some elegance to our environments .
Kind Regards,
Helen

Nancy said...

Thank you, Mrs. Sherman! <3

ladypinktulip said...

I enjoyed your video so much. I see this as an excellent reminder that how
we act at home is just as important if not more important than outside the home.
We can make the environment cheerful and pleasant by our moods and we must
remember that doing that affects everyone. I love the idea of wearing yellow
on a gloomy day. Recently I brought out my summer dresses that are pastel
to wear around the house. Though there is much snow on the ground and dark
clouds lingering, these pastel dresses make me feel like spring and give me
that boost. As far as suggested topics? Since you were talking about courtesy, maybe expound on manners in general? I wasn't taught how to set a table for instance. How to behave mannerly when in mixed company. How a lady should sit. Things like that? Kelly Thompson

Gayle said...

Another informative and inspiring video. You are like a ray of sunshine in that yellow. So feminine and pretty. I would like a video on how you decide what to do for crafts? I remember how much I enjoyed your posts when you went to Australia and you would do a craft each day. You so inspired me to try and be more creative. But you never seem to run out of ideas. What inspires you? That would be a fun video. Also hospitality. I really don't know how to show hospitality, and it seems so effortless for you.Thank you again for doing these videos.

Lydia said...

I will be happy to add these suggestions to my list, and will look forward to making some more presentations.

Andrea R said...

I loved this post and video!

I consistently get comments about how I dress. I get looks and stares and I do feel quite ostracized at church. Most women my age are wearing tight jeans and revealing tops, OR they are in lounge wear with no makeup and their hair undone. If I wear a long flowing skirt (like a Boho style) I get stared at, or a dressier skirt or dress.

I have received very nice compliments from quite old gentlemen while out grocery shopping, which to me, show the true issue. It is just rare for people to see a woman dress like a lady. I always appreciate their kind and appropriate compliments.

At church I get "wow, so dressy!" I am trying to be an example for the younger ladies and my own daughters.

budgeteer said...

What a lovely Video. I hope you do more of these. I have been wearing a pink coat outside and it really affects the mood. I must find brigther colours to weat inside too. Thank you for the inspiration

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