(In keeping with this post, please also read Roxy's post here http://livingfromglorytoglory.blogspot.com/2016/05/a-stay-at-home-grandmother-and-photo.html)
I have been mulling over this subject for awhile and today am attempting to put it into written words.
There is a well-known idea that if you decide to be homemaker, rather than take up a career, you are not doing a worthwhile work.
Feeling it would be contrary to Titus 2 to get a regular 9-5 job, some women at home find "a ministry." (It sounds so religious, it must be right!). Unfortunately, a "ministry" today, where women are concerned, is a way to have a career that does not look like a corporate job.
They end up putting so much time and energy into ministry, they work longer and harder, for less
money than if they had a 9-5 job. This destroys the whole purpose of staying home, because they are not focusing on home living.
We are seeing today the development of "Christian feminists." These are restless women who turn even the role of homemaker into an achievement-oriented, money-making business, or a ministry that is driven by a powerful desire to "do" something other than settle down to contented home living.
They need to convert their restlessness into caring for the house and the family, cooking well, sewing, and creating a wonderful atmosphere at home.
Women may feel guilty to be home, so they want to show that they are pulling their share of the load
by making money or putting enormous time into charities and other programs and organizations.
It is good to learn to be content to be "just a homemaker" or "just a housewife." Some of you older women may remember when it was a very negative thing to be called "just a housewife" but I believe today a woman should say emphatically that she is "just a homemaker" with the emphasis on "just" or "only." It prevents the attitude that they should do more and more!
I know several religious women who wear dresses and claim to be homemakers, but are continually in their cars going from one ministry event to another. One woman said she no longer prepares meals at home because she does not want to take time from her ministry that she has worked so hard for!
The frenzy of of such ministries drowns out home life. When a woman takes on a ministry, it almost
always involves money-seeking, and that leads to multiple businesses, both online and off, that pose as "serving" others whilst stealing time that is intended for a natural life at home. Many of these ministry-driven women are networking with businesses to support their ministries, which takes enormous time and energy. The family is not nurtured. You can see a kind of loss in their faces.
The ministry-craze is a result in putting the home and family on a "to-do" list which makes the woman's role that of a "Martha" who thinks work at home is a mechanical act, and it can be left undone, or done by everyone else , freeing up her time to minister to others.
But home making is more than cleaning and meal preparation. It is a ministry of love to your own people that God has literally placed in your lap. The home cries out "Look at me! I am your ministry and your work! You need not look out the window for someone else to minister to or work for". When you minister or work for others, you may be neglecting your own people. When taking care of your home and family you are in fact ministering to the world and doing a greater work for the world. We can go into that in another post. I invite comments on how the home ministers to the world by example.
These ministry-motivated women invest very little time and talents into their own homes and families. Spending so much time away from home and concentrating on their ministries while at home, these women fail to gather real home-living experience in cooking, cleaning, sewing and mending, ironing, caring for the house, or creating real bonding and counselling, or sharing wisdom with their families. They have allowed business (disguised as ministry) to consume them.
All of us know what it is like to have the mind obsessed with something, only to later regret the neglect it caused to husband and children. Time lost can never be recovered. Women are naturally dedicated workers and very loyal to people and causes, so let them use that natural dedication and loyalty for the home and family.
It is so easy to be distracted. Helping people has a real pull on women, but let it pull you to help your own husband and children, who will be in your life much, much longer.
Life as a wife, mother and homemaker is truly the most worthwhile work there is. It is your spiritual social security.
I hear young women saying they want to do something important for the world or for Christ. They end up chasing after work, money and ministries that will never give them marriage, family, homes,
or spiritual and physical security. They need to be taught that it is more important to look after husband, children and home, and instill their own spiritual values in them. Teaching your children well, and looking after your husband is what you do for the world and for Christ. The family is the most neglected work, the most needy charity and the most important ministry in life.
The family and the home provide worthwhile work and ministry, as well as development of talents.
It is better to care for your own husband and home than to try to save the world.
Titus 2 says the Women who have become Christians (Christ's Ones) are to love their husbands, love their children, and guide the home. This is a ministry that no one else can provide. You cannot be replaced at home, but your can easily be replaced in the "working world."
Homemaking, child care and love of husband takes much, much time. It is not all about cleaning and working. In order to have presence of mind and make good decisions and be there mentally for your people, you have to allow peace and rest in your home. You cannot run your home life in a frenzy and expect to get any satisfaction from it. You cannot be continually on-the-run and be able to be a calm and reassuring wife and mother that your family needs.
Now, I know that "house wife" developed negative connotations over the last century, but let us take a look at what it really means.
"House" indicates taking care of a house, that she lives in, and is something she is in charge of. "Wife" means she is married to a man.
I must repeat this. A "house wife" is someone who is occupied in the house of a man she is married to.
Anyone can be a homemaker: a man, unmarried woman, or a full-time career woman. A house wife is more than a homemaker. She is married to a man and takes care of his house and his children.
Learn to be content and proud to be "just a house wife," and not be distracted and tempted by all the jobs and ministries that would steal your time and rob you of calmness.
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