Thursday, May 12, 2016

Friends and Their Influence (Video 15)



It is good to set aside time throughout the year for friends, but seasoned keepers of the home will tell you to be careful that your friendships do not cause you to neglect your family. If you feel disoriented from your home and family and dissatisfied after visits with friends, you may have to consider this.

Friends are a blessing, but let them be, as Anne would say, "kindred spirits" in that they are agreeable with and supportive of your serious role at home. Such friends are rare and valuable.  

Hold your husband and children in such high estimation that you become particular about the time you spend with friends.



     

(Thanks to Lisa Marie for taping this video with my camera!)




9 comments:

Courtney Downs said...

I love your videos! Thanks for making them for us! :):)

ladypinktulip said...

Very true. As homekeepers we have to guard our time and relationships.
A like minded friend should refresh us by their presence. A like minded
friend will be loving, supportive yet RESPECT our privacy and know proper
boundaries. I have had former friendships that became unenjoyable because
of "familiarity breeds contempt"...where the friend felt free to share things
with me that were none of her business and also she became meddlesome and
a busybody in my matters. Women must learn to respect another woman's home and family. I once had a neighbor who didn't know when she had stayed long enough for a visit...she came over all the time and talked endlessly. I have
also enjoyed life long friends who are refreshing and lovely. Kelly T.

Andrea R said...

Love this so much!

Lydia said...



Kelly,

One of the things a young housewife might not be prepared for is the amount of time she spends alone,(but busy) compared to social activity in other times of her life. We do not talk much about that--that you must be self-motivated amd a self-starter at home., and that there will be long sections of time when it seems like friends have forgotten you. This is something we aren't taught, and so with the alonenness, it is common to let more people keep you comany, which can sometimes be bad for your family.


Have respectful friends who highly regard your privacy and will not get you doing things and involved in things that make you take your focus away from your duties at home.


I remember so many times church women flocked to tupperware parties and other home selling parties, leaving their children and husbands. Today it might be ministry or networking for home business, or just friends coming over to complain or snoop. We need to be discerning and preserve the dignity of our homelife.

Sometimes ladies at home let friends stay so long they are still there when the family needs dinner, and the husband, tired from work, does not want to come home to socialize more.

Christian women especially think they are obligated to host these people because it is extending hospitality, and sadly some of the friends are not completely on board with the way you live, regarding home living. So we have to be discerning and remember pur parents and grandparents, how they managed to have company and yet limit the amount of time it took in their lives.

Something lse to consider is how much a friend can demoralize you and undo you, put you in a critical mood, scorn the appearance and arrangement of your home, brag about their wealth, put you down because they do not think you are successful, etc. these types are attracted to the homemake because they are unhappy in theor own homes and can come and experience your own home atmosphere, but also prey on you with their caustic remarks. (Sounds a bit like blogging and trolls, doesn't it!)

Posted by Lydia to Home Living at 9:43 AM

anonymous said...

When I was a young homemaker one of my neighbors used to have home parties and combined them with "coffee clutching". I found out in a big hurry this is when all the non-working women would get together and gossip, stick their noses in other women's business and conduct "husbands are stupid" sessions.
When I spoke out about this or shared what the bible said about this, I was belittled, made fun of and gossiped about myself.

Later on lots of These women got bored with their marriages and left home to go into the workplace. Then one by one their marriages failed.

I found that home parties were ok once in a while if I needed an item that was being sold, but would only attend if our children could come. It was best to leave as soon as the home party had concluded.

Later on my husband and I were invited to "no kids" parties that were not wholesome or marriage friendly. I decided that parties that didn't want children to attend were parties we need not attend either.

Janet

Polly said...

This is true. In many homeschooling circles, the families are so busy pursuing friendships and social opportunities that home life falters. (I have seen this personally!!) They are simply too busy to really cultivate satisfaction in their own homes. It's the culture. Yet there's something wonderfully satisfying about being home with "just us" and living life together. If life at home is peaceful, then appropriate friendships can fit into that without stress or anxiety. Today, for instance, one of my mother's dear old friends and his wife called to ask if they could drop in....my house only needed a light tidying because we try to take care of it daily....so we had enough margin in our lives and in our home space to welcome them for an hour and truly enjoy their company. I've had other instances when a friend comes over for a long time, the children wreck the house, and they leave right before dinner (!) when I need to finish cooking, and the children don't clean up, so my kids are left to work on cleanup while I hustle dinner....and it really is rather stressful!

We need friendships, but need balance too!!

Mrs. Christopher Daniels said...

Hi Lydia, what about when they say you deserve a break! This exactly what you're speaking of. With a woman who's life is in chaos taking me away from my house for socializing seems to be the order of the day. As the saying goes misery loves company!

Lydia said...

A good subject: how to identity subversion!

Mrs. Christopher Daniels said...

There we have it! Do you get weekly coupon inserts where you are? How do you like coupons anyway? I like to try new shampoos if they are a fair price when combined with coupons. I'm having a blessed morning and wishing you a blessed day as well!

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