Hello Dear Ladies,
I must be one of the few homemaker bloggers that does not think women at home are obligated to make money online or do a lot of extra work (office work, errands, social things) besides homemaking.
Furthermore, I do not think women should go at homemaking as if it were a demanding job. There is an element that can be forgotten when homemaking becomes a frenzied clean-up job: the feelings of the heart for home living, for the house and for the people in it.
Sometimes we do so much, with such frenzy, it is like we are working outside the home.
Do you ever find yourself clenching your jaw, not enjoying your home and children, having no time for your sewing or feminine arts, feeling frazzled with no time to even do your hair or read a pretty magazine? Do you ever think you have lost a sense of who you really are--a person with a heart for home and a love of daily life? Have you lost your sense of humour--the one you had before?
Perhaps you feel you are being pushed: pushed to homeschool to a manmade standard, pushed to regulate your children and your own life, rushed in your housekeeping, and unable to enjoy your leisure without feeling that "other people" think you do not deserve it?
Maybe you are living by lists and schedules and losing your feeling for life at home.
Have you lost touch with your soul, and with your real self and your conscience toward God? Do you find yourself full of snappy, cutting replies?
Do you feel life is hurrying you along without a moment to just breathe the air?
It is possible you have gone to work. Many homemakers find they are forced to earn money without leaving home. Husbands, hearing the opinions of co-workers, feel they must justify their wives being homemakers by insisting they work online to make money. Comparisons with other men's lives are disturbing to the home, are they not?
Maybe you have not taken on extra work, but are just not enjoying housework and homemaking because you are feeling pushed. It is hard to be a good manager of the home when someone else is pushing you. When you are not self-motivated, doing it out of personal desire, it seems to take longer, and lacks heart.
I posted a video about the insatiable drive to make women at home earn money, and how people twist Proverbs 31 to prove women should work to bring in a wage, extra money, or turn it into spare time activity (for money), even leisure. Lacking the example of stay at home mothers in their youth, many women treat home making as a job, trying to earn their living, rather than enjoy their role. Husbands also contribute to this attitude because the culture around them thinks women do nothing at home, or are oppressing men by not being wage-earners.
We live in the new age of the New Testament, where our new king is Christ. His last will and testament that went into effect after his death, buriel and resurrection, contains the inspired book of Titus. In chapter two of that liittle instruction book, women of the New Testament church were given a different purpose than the description in Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 was written by a future king's mother, describing what an ideal wife would be like, if such a person could be found. It was written for a different era, although it has good principles that we can glean from today.
Titus 2, for those living a new life in Christ, describes the woman in the church in simpler terms as a wife, mother and guide of the home. In that passage, a woman has worth for who she is and the role she has as keeper, guide and guard of the home.
Women of Christ are valued because they are precious creations in Christ. They are worthy of being home. They are worthy at home. They have worth in the sight of God, which means that others should have respect for that. Even if a homemaker is having a sick day, not feeling well, lying down on the couch, her presence is needed and felt. Her family still comes to her, for she is in charge of the home.
When we do not bring ourselves back to that, we find we are frazzled and worried.
What can be done to alleviate this?
To shake the tension of trying to raise up to some standard that is making you frustrated, I would suggest you go back to your childhood for a moment and indulge in the art of playing house. Playing house removes pressure. Watch children as they enjoy playing house, and you will see how much they enjoy house work. They are in no hurry to get it done , yet they enjoy putting things away and washing, cleaning, etc. They can hardly wait to get up in the morning and begin their sweeping and cooking, grocery shopping a d cooking all over again!
The concept of playing house is a way of easing your mind and better than getting so mentally exhausted that you cannot function.
There are other techniques of approaching housekeeping to keep it from becoming a repeat of the previous day. Every other day arrange to have a no-cooking, no cleaning day by planning alternate types of meals and home activities which require less work.
To make repeated tasks less tedious, ladies I know even become their own maids once a week, as if dropping by on their house to house appointments! Some ladies become their own "guests" and make a special afternoon tea for themselves and the family, using their best tableware and dishes.
Rewards are great motivators to make home life interesting. A few hours away from the house can bring you back with a renewed mind and you see your home with new eyes. Children enjoy these outings, too and will feel refreshed and happier at home. Put an extra ingredient in your grocery shopping cart for a special tea. Have a chat with a friend on the phone when you get a certain task complete. Sew, take pictures, paint or indulge in an interest that does not seem too intense or laborious.
In some ways I think homemakers are intimidated by the commercial world with its schedules and profits and losses, forever concerned about their worth. We are Christians and are not supposed to be caught up in the competitiveness of this world, except, as the Bible teaches, to out-do one another in love and good deeds! Staying home and managing it is a good deed. Loving your husband and children is a good deed. Being a keeper at home is a a multitude of good deeds that increases our love for Christ and the home.
When I say "home" I am referring to the house and the people in it. In many instances, the Bible word "home" is interchangeable with house and family.
I do hope to add a video to this post.
Thank you for coming!
In this video I name some things other ladies have found helpful in renewing your love and purpose at home:
1. All that you say and do (those snappy, sharp replies and critical comments included) create memories. Unfortunately people always remember the bad memories more than the good! You can avoid the bad moods by remembering you serve the Lord God, and that you are accountable for every idle word and accusation. God's word teaches us to be happy, content and to renew our minds with things that are good and lovely and uplifting.
2. Refer to the playing house of your childhood. When children play house, they enjoy it. It is their own little home and it is just a play house, not something so serious that it drags them down into despair. Watch a little one hang up the clothes she just washed for her doll and observe her concentrated expression. She is serious about her task; she wants to be grown up and she enjoys the realistic playing. When you think of your house as a big playhouse, it revives a feeling of delight and contentment.
3. When you think of your home as a castle and you as a faithful overseer, you feel you have a lofty purpose. No longer is this a hovel that has no beauty, it is a fine home and you are the lady of the house.
4. Dresses for the home: I make my cotton dresses because sometimes I just feel it is a day to wear a certain kind of print or color. I look forward to making my clothes for the place I love most which is my house. It would not matter if I lived in a tent or a trailer: my clothing would set my mood for the day!, When it gets a bit discouraging, I simply make a new house dress. These are also good enough to be worn in public. By removing the apron and adding a cardigan, it becomes more formal.
5. Aprons: Maybe you have not reached the point of feeling comfortable in a dress or skirt. There are so many aprons these days that add a feeling of femininity to your clothes. Even if you wear jeans, these aprons, especially with the pinafore style, will give you a feeling of brightness and class and a get-started mindset.
6. Company: Preparing your home for company, even if none is expected, gives you a sense of purpose. It is always energizing to do something for someone else, but most of all, you serve the Lord Christ!
My dress made from Waverly Inspirations cotton fabric from WalMart. Almost all the fabrics there are under $5.00 a yard. This one also comes in pink and yellow and I have the multigenerstional outfits on the cutting table.
The ruffled cardigan also comes from Walmart. The wicker baskets contains my clothes pegs and I am going to hang one more wash on the line before the rain comes!
This cotton dress is so silky and has a bit of sheen, so I feel like a visitor in a fancy house! I wonder where the tea lady is?
I used this pattern in once more before I go on to another one, which you will see next time.
I took this picture of a blue and white cake at the local bakery because the color inspired me to make the blue dress!