The Solace of Home

Victorian Woman II by John O'Brien  Irish who immigrated to America (b.1951, d.2004)

Note: If you press the link to read more about this artist, you will find that his wife posed for many of his paintings.

Solace and rest at home are important factors in making family members the people that they ought to be.  In search of the balance between solace and public exposure, we can learn something from Royalty.  The Queen of Denmark expresses in an interview with the BBC that she is not trying to be "mysterious" when she insists on privacy in her home life, but that she must be rested, and if her private home life becomes public, she cannot be rested and it will effect her public life. If everyone is there poking their nose into her home life, she will not have a real home life.

Living in an era of social openness, where people often think they should not hide anything, we have gained stress and lost some privacy.  I remember well the old people when I was a lot younger, and how they, though friendly, kept everyone but close family at arm's length. You never knew of their worries, nor of impending financial disaster, nor would they discuss their frustrations with anyone. "If he worried, he hid it," penned Edgar Guest in his poem, "Somebody Said It Couldn't Be Done."

The bad thing about abandoning personal reserve and privacy is that it gives the cynics and skeptics a chance to find sources of derision and accusation.  I think the Queen's quote is something worth thinking about.

Enjoying the home is an integral part of having complete solace and rest. To achieve this, you have to have it reasonably orderly and clean, so that you can sit down and breathe easy and pick up your knitting. The women of old that I knew usually aimed to get their housework done so that they could indulge in some of these quiet past times. After the dishes were washed in the morning, and essential house keeping taken care of, they might have put a roast or a stew on the stove and then sat down to knit or write letters or read.  Some of the women I knew were artists and enjoyed getting out their paints to record the glorious scenes around them.  One blog in Scotland which always lifts my heart is simply called "The Quiet Home"  and all the writer does is shows how she enjoys her home. It could be looking out the window or sitting in her favorite chair, or washing dishes, but she shows how these are enjoyable moments throughout the day.

To find solace and enjoyment in the home, it is necessary to limit the demands that outsiders put on our time. Women tend to be helpers and nurturers and want to make things better for other people, but they have to be careful not to do too much. If others can learn to be independent and take care of themselves, it is extremely helpful to the homemaker.  Children might not do household jobs perfectly, but they can do enough of a job that it takes some stress off the homemaker and allows her to relax more.  

Rest is important for good speech, memory, thinking and reasoning. Keeping out unnecessary noise or conflict will add to that restful solace at home. I read recently about a doctor who recommended a news media fast for one month to those who were suffering from anxiety. If you would try even one day not knowing all the upsetting things going on, there would be a reduction in tension . The body and mind would be rested.

While it is essential that homemakers have an awareness of the political threats to their way of life, it is important to know that the world's news is usually the bad news which brings constant anxiety but the Bible is the good news which brings solace to the home.

Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

To print this lecture on the importance of solace in the home, go here.

Notice: I have added the wedding waltz of Fred and Mary of Denmark to my playlist so I hope you will go and watch it here. Notice how the queen gives a signal for the crowd to start moving closer to the waltzing couple, clapping until they have completely surrounded them.  If you go to my playlist, it is the third to the last entry on the list.

You might also enjoy Frederick's wedding speech to Mary and her father.