Laundry (www.allposters.com)
Home Living: For Ladies at Home, and Those Who Want to Be, and Living Our Best Lives at Home. I hope your visit here will inspire love in your home.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Laundry With Love
Laundry is a simple thing, right? All you do is throw the clothes in the washer and turn it on. Not so fast, girls! My husband told me that when he was single and having to live away from home while he was a young preacher, he made his first trip to the laundromat. No one had told him that the red car seat covers, his suit, and his white shirt, could not be washed all together in the same load. The result was that the suit was totally ruined by the shedding fluff of the car seat cover, shrunken and mis-shaped by the hot water, and totally wrinkled from the heavy wash cycle. The only white shirt he had, was stained a light shade of red.
Although it was over 30 years ago, this kind of naivity still goes on, even among 40 and 50 year olds who are homemakers. Sometimes, when a garment or household item is ruined by such indiscriminate washing, an individual will attempt to return it to the store and get their money back. They will usually be told that the washing label attached to it says, "Wash separately," "delicate cycle," "cold water," "line dry," or "white's only."
Most importantly, think about the people you are doing this for, and what your home is going to look like. If you throw in the dry cleanable drapes with the decorative pillows on the couch, don't be surprised if the trims are ripped off the pillows and the drapes are wrinkled. Think about the way your want your house to look, and the way you want your people to look after they are dressed in these garments that you treated so casually in the wash. If you don't want them to look like they've slept in their clothes, then treat the clothing carefully.
Ironing is another subject that can be covered at a later time, but just as an example of what your laundry techniques say about you, there was a time when in general, homemakers would be ashamed if their husband's dress shirts were wrinkled, or if there was no crease in the sleeve to show that it had been carefully ironed. It was a reflection on their home, and they thought that people would think the husband was not being looked after by the wife, or that she was too disorganized or lazy to press a shirt, even though she was afforded full time homemaking, with all the time she wanted to devote to caring for her family.
Even while growing up on the homestead in Alaska, with the primitive way of washing (which at the time we thought was very convenient and modern!) we sorted the clothes into piles of:
Jeans and overalls: blue jeans and denims always bleed blue into the water.
Unless you want your white socks and underwear blue, or your prize table cloth slightly blackened, wash jeans separately or with other blues of similar type of fabrics.
Don't throw in a blue dress, for example, unless the blue dress is also of a sturdy fabric like jeans. Just because the garment is the same color, does not mean you wash it in the same load.
Some garments need to be washed on the delicate cycle. The normal cycle wrings the water out very tightly at a very fast spin. This can ruin delicate clothes and even wrench the buttons and trims off.
White underwear: such as tee shirts, sox, and other underclothing, that is of sturdy cotton, can be washed in hot water, on the normal cycle, and dried in the dryer on a hot setting. Remember, not all whites can be washed this way. Some whites, such as delicate women's clothing, or things like doilies, table runners, and laces, must be hand washed and treated carefully.
Towels: Make two piles of dirty towels on your laundry room floor, or have baskets for each kind of laundry. One pile is white and pastel, and the other is dark. Some people find it advantageous to purchase only white bath towels, because they want to make it easier to wash them. However, dark colored towels are desireable for many reasons. Whatever the case, sort them into two wash loads, and do not wash them together. If you do, you will find the light ones become muddied in color, and the dark ones will lose their color and fade, which makes them lack a fresh look.
Dish towels: These should always be washed together, separate from clothing of any kind, and preferrably in hot water. In fact, it would be a good idea to put them in a separate basket to collect them for washing, in the first place, rather than in a general laundry basket. They need a disinfectant or some bleach of some kind in order to sanitize them. Potholders and cloth hot pads can be treated the same way. Sometimes people forget to wash these things, but they collect a lot of debris on them. Placemats and tablecloths should be washed separately from dishtowels, on a gentler cycle. If you don't want them to fade, do not wash them in hot water.
You might be tempted to lump the dish towels together with the bath towels, but you may regret it once you see hair on your dry dishtowels. It is better to keep the two kinds of towels separated.
Bedding: It isn't necessary to wash the top blanket or bedspread, if this is mostly decorative, and put there to match the room. In fact, it will wear it out unnecessarily. Blankets don't need to be washed all the time--maybe only once or twice a year, if there hasn't been sickness or if there has been no bodily contact with them, or stains. (If you want to freshen an antique quilt, just hang it outdoors in the fresh air for awhile.)That is why we use fresh sheets--partly to protect the blankets from odors and soiling. Wash sheets as often as you like, and use the same rules as washing towels.
If you have a bed set with matching curtains, decorator pillows and table rounds, you may disappointed when, after much washing of the bed spread, it fades in comparison to the matching accessories. To save wear and tear on a matching spread, take it off the bed before sleeping, and place it on a quilt rack. If you wash it often, you need to also wash your curtains and matching accessories with it each time, so that the entire set will wear and fade at the same pace.
Outerwear: Check the labels on dresses, skirts, tops, nylons, dress shirts, and so forth, and sort them into the piles they belong to. Not all clothes that require cold water should be put together, because some will fade, and some do not require the same kind of spin cycle. Sort these further into piles according to color and type of cycle. The normal cycle will generally be rougher on the garment than the delicate cycle. Nylons and womens garments do well on the gentle cycle. White blouses and shirts need to be washed separately.
Blankets, rugs, and car seat covers: Don't wash these with any other clothing or linens, but don't wash them all together in the same load, either! You'll have a terrible mess on your hands, as a washable rug gets soil and all kinds of things on the car seat cover that will be impossible to remove, and the blankets will not get clean. Wash each of these things separately. You may need to run a plain, clean water rinse with a little vinegar or even bleech, after washing particularly dirty items, before you do another load of regular clothing.
Nylons and small things: baby socks and other things that seem to lose their mates in the wash, can be coralled inside a mesh bag. Look for these in WalMarts and dollar stores. If you have trouble with socks that go missing in the washing machine, this will solve your problem and make sorting the dry laundry much less tedious.
Your Machine: Out of respect for the washing machine and the one who purchased it for you (even if it was yourself), do not overstuff it. It makes a poor wash. It puts strain on the machine. It can often cause mechanical troubles. Your machine will last many years if treated well. Smaller loads will dry better and faster, so don't chuck it full to the brim with clothing. Leave some room for the water.
Your machine will stop, or agitate in a noisy way if you do not balance your load. You cannot stuff a blanket in it in a blob, and then add a bunch of clothes here and there and expect it to be balanced. Instead, put your sheets around in the basin evenly, and do not add things to one side without adding things all around. Some people attempt to trade their machines or get their money back when the machine reacts to an unbalanced load. Read the directions on your machine.
Save the directions to washers and dryers and hot water heaters and put them in a folder where you can locate them when there is a problem. If there is a problem, make sure that you are such a consciencious keeper of this machinery, that it is not your fault, and be willing to admit it if you are the one at fault, through treating the machines roughly and poorly.
Do medium full or half full loads with lots of water, rather than full loads that hardly get wet because of too many things. It will be easier on your machine, you'll experience less breakdowns of the washer and dryer, and you'll get a much better wash. If you stuff too many permanent press or wrinkle free clothes together while using the gentle cycle, they will still come out wrinkled. Then when you put them in the dryer or hang them on a line, the wrinkles will not fall out. Stuffing a machine too full does not accomplish a good job with laundry, and will cost you more time and money in the end.
Water: Clothes get less wear and tear if cold water is used in the washer. It saves you money, also, and there are liquid soaps now that dissolve quite well in cold water. If you want your clothes to look fresh and new for a long time, use cold water. Hot water can cause certain items of clothing to pill...that is, they get little fuzzy pills all over them. Do use hot water for baby things, underwear, and dishtowels and certain mens shirts that are 100% cotton. Sometimes the synthetic fabrics will melt in hot water, so be careful about water temperature with these.
Detergent: Be discerning in the use of laundry soap. You don't necessarily need to use the full capful advised on the bottle of laundry soap, neither do you need to be too stingy. Most clothes today, unless they are used by a farmer or construction worker, are not soiled enough to warrent much soap. Detergents wear the clothes out too, and cause them to fade. To test whether you are using too much soap, take a laundered item and put it in a pan of rinse water. Squeeze the garment and see how much suds it makes. Often, entire loads of laundry can be put through the cycle without adding detergent, since there is so much detergent still deposited in the clothes. Too much detergent is abrasive and may also harm the machine and the drain areas. If you are doing the small or mini cycle, use good sense and do not use as much detergent.
The dryer: Don't run the dryer all day long. Give it a chance to cool down and rest. Collect the lint often. Lint has been the cause of many dryer fires that have burned the entire house down. Do not leave the house when the dryer is on. Do not overstuff the dryer. It will not dry, and you'll have to put it through the dryer cycle again, which puts more stress on the machine. Treat your dryer with respect. Don't bang the door closed, and don't yank the door open. Turn off the cycle first, and then open the door. Make sure the dryer says "off" when you close the door if you are finished with it. Some dryers keep ticking the cycle even if you don't push the "on" button, and this uses up the dryer's life, as well as unnecessary power.
When you open the door of some dryers, you'll see a metal catch that holds the door shut. Always make sure none of the laundry gets caught on that thing, before you close the lid. If something catches on it, it will be a tight, twisted mess that will be impossible to straighten out, and you might end up throwing it away. Before you close the dryer door, look and see if anything is caught. Make sure all the things are fully inside the dryer.
Dry your clothes in the same categories they were washed. Take out the drip-dry items before putting a load in the dryer, and hang them on a hanger where air can circulate around them. Don't put fluffy towels in the same drying batch as black dress slacks and dress socks, or they will get lots of little fuzzy things on them that will be next to impossible to remove.
Your clothes and washable belongings: Have respect for yourself and treat your clothes with thankfulness and love. Your family is special. Each person deserves to be clothed in well fitting clothing that has not been treated horribly by
shoving all the colors and textures in the same load.
Household linens: Doilies, runners, tablecloths, and crocheted items should be washed with care. This is an interesting site that shows how to wash these things, and adds a bit of enjoyment to it. http://www.emsheart.com/info/linen%20care.htm
The Laundry Room: Keep it clean and orderly. Decorate it cheerfully so that it won't be a trial for you to get in there and do your work. Use wallborders and accessories that help you enjoy having a laundry room. Keep the dryer and washer free from clutter on the tops. Hang shelves for the detergents.
Laundry Products: You can now buy a variety of products that are natural and have an uplifting scent, or you can make your own. Check your Bath and Body shops for laundry rinses and other laundry supplies. In the meantime, to make your own rinses or pre-treatment spotters, go here http://www.makeyourown.net/ or here http://www.healthy-home-cleaning-tips.com/make-your-own.html
In days gone by, we used dishtowels on which were embroidered the day of the week and the task that was to be done. Here is a spiritual concept to those chores that I know you will enjoy.
http://godslittleacre.net/spiritualgrowth/wash_day.html
The list of days and chores made a lot of sense.
Monday was a good day to wash, after Sunday's restful activities.
Tuesday was naturally for ironing, after the wash was gathered in from the line.
Wednesday was logical for mending, after the ironing revealed needed buttons and tears.
Thursday was great for cleaning, after the wash was out of the way, and in preparation for grocery shopping and food preparation for the weekend.
Friday was shopping in preparation for the weekend activities, and
Saturday was cooking, to be ready for Sunday.
I hope you've enjoyed this dissertaion on laundry. I found an accurate description of how we used to do laundry here. http://www.uni.edu/~elder/wash2.html
There are many things worth taking note of, in doing your own laundry. In many respects, I think we lack the spiritual values in some of the chores we do, not remembering for whom it is being done. Life's days are short, and we must do our best while we live here on earth, so that we may hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of our Lord." Your home laundry can be done professionally and with pride, as if you were doing the most important job on earth, keeping in mind the people you are caring for, and the dignity with which you want to them to wear their clothing.
Although it was over 30 years ago, this kind of naivity still goes on, even among 40 and 50 year olds who are homemakers. Sometimes, when a garment or household item is ruined by such indiscriminate washing, an individual will attempt to return it to the store and get their money back. They will usually be told that the washing label attached to it says, "Wash separately," "delicate cycle," "cold water," "line dry," or "white's only."
Most importantly, think about the people you are doing this for, and what your home is going to look like. If you throw in the dry cleanable drapes with the decorative pillows on the couch, don't be surprised if the trims are ripped off the pillows and the drapes are wrinkled. Think about the way your want your house to look, and the way you want your people to look after they are dressed in these garments that you treated so casually in the wash. If you don't want them to look like they've slept in their clothes, then treat the clothing carefully.
Ironing is another subject that can be covered at a later time, but just as an example of what your laundry techniques say about you, there was a time when in general, homemakers would be ashamed if their husband's dress shirts were wrinkled, or if there was no crease in the sleeve to show that it had been carefully ironed. It was a reflection on their home, and they thought that people would think the husband was not being looked after by the wife, or that she was too disorganized or lazy to press a shirt, even though she was afforded full time homemaking, with all the time she wanted to devote to caring for her family.
Even while growing up on the homestead in Alaska, with the primitive way of washing (which at the time we thought was very convenient and modern!) we sorted the clothes into piles of:
Jeans and overalls: blue jeans and denims always bleed blue into the water.
Unless you want your white socks and underwear blue, or your prize table cloth slightly blackened, wash jeans separately or with other blues of similar type of fabrics.
Don't throw in a blue dress, for example, unless the blue dress is also of a sturdy fabric like jeans. Just because the garment is the same color, does not mean you wash it in the same load.
Some garments need to be washed on the delicate cycle. The normal cycle wrings the water out very tightly at a very fast spin. This can ruin delicate clothes and even wrench the buttons and trims off.
White underwear: such as tee shirts, sox, and other underclothing, that is of sturdy cotton, can be washed in hot water, on the normal cycle, and dried in the dryer on a hot setting. Remember, not all whites can be washed this way. Some whites, such as delicate women's clothing, or things like doilies, table runners, and laces, must be hand washed and treated carefully.
Towels: Make two piles of dirty towels on your laundry room floor, or have baskets for each kind of laundry. One pile is white and pastel, and the other is dark. Some people find it advantageous to purchase only white bath towels, because they want to make it easier to wash them. However, dark colored towels are desireable for many reasons. Whatever the case, sort them into two wash loads, and do not wash them together. If you do, you will find the light ones become muddied in color, and the dark ones will lose their color and fade, which makes them lack a fresh look.
Dish towels: These should always be washed together, separate from clothing of any kind, and preferrably in hot water. In fact, it would be a good idea to put them in a separate basket to collect them for washing, in the first place, rather than in a general laundry basket. They need a disinfectant or some bleach of some kind in order to sanitize them. Potholders and cloth hot pads can be treated the same way. Sometimes people forget to wash these things, but they collect a lot of debris on them. Placemats and tablecloths should be washed separately from dishtowels, on a gentler cycle. If you don't want them to fade, do not wash them in hot water.
You might be tempted to lump the dish towels together with the bath towels, but you may regret it once you see hair on your dry dishtowels. It is better to keep the two kinds of towels separated.
Bedding: It isn't necessary to wash the top blanket or bedspread, if this is mostly decorative, and put there to match the room. In fact, it will wear it out unnecessarily. Blankets don't need to be washed all the time--maybe only once or twice a year, if there hasn't been sickness or if there has been no bodily contact with them, or stains. (If you want to freshen an antique quilt, just hang it outdoors in the fresh air for awhile.)That is why we use fresh sheets--partly to protect the blankets from odors and soiling. Wash sheets as often as you like, and use the same rules as washing towels.
If you have a bed set with matching curtains, decorator pillows and table rounds, you may disappointed when, after much washing of the bed spread, it fades in comparison to the matching accessories. To save wear and tear on a matching spread, take it off the bed before sleeping, and place it on a quilt rack. If you wash it often, you need to also wash your curtains and matching accessories with it each time, so that the entire set will wear and fade at the same pace.
Outerwear: Check the labels on dresses, skirts, tops, nylons, dress shirts, and so forth, and sort them into the piles they belong to. Not all clothes that require cold water should be put together, because some will fade, and some do not require the same kind of spin cycle. Sort these further into piles according to color and type of cycle. The normal cycle will generally be rougher on the garment than the delicate cycle. Nylons and womens garments do well on the gentle cycle. White blouses and shirts need to be washed separately.
Blankets, rugs, and car seat covers: Don't wash these with any other clothing or linens, but don't wash them all together in the same load, either! You'll have a terrible mess on your hands, as a washable rug gets soil and all kinds of things on the car seat cover that will be impossible to remove, and the blankets will not get clean. Wash each of these things separately. You may need to run a plain, clean water rinse with a little vinegar or even bleech, after washing particularly dirty items, before you do another load of regular clothing.
Nylons and small things: baby socks and other things that seem to lose their mates in the wash, can be coralled inside a mesh bag. Look for these in WalMarts and dollar stores. If you have trouble with socks that go missing in the washing machine, this will solve your problem and make sorting the dry laundry much less tedious.
Your Machine: Out of respect for the washing machine and the one who purchased it for you (even if it was yourself), do not overstuff it. It makes a poor wash. It puts strain on the machine. It can often cause mechanical troubles. Your machine will last many years if treated well. Smaller loads will dry better and faster, so don't chuck it full to the brim with clothing. Leave some room for the water.
Your machine will stop, or agitate in a noisy way if you do not balance your load. You cannot stuff a blanket in it in a blob, and then add a bunch of clothes here and there and expect it to be balanced. Instead, put your sheets around in the basin evenly, and do not add things to one side without adding things all around. Some people attempt to trade their machines or get their money back when the machine reacts to an unbalanced load. Read the directions on your machine.
Save the directions to washers and dryers and hot water heaters and put them in a folder where you can locate them when there is a problem. If there is a problem, make sure that you are such a consciencious keeper of this machinery, that it is not your fault, and be willing to admit it if you are the one at fault, through treating the machines roughly and poorly.
Do medium full or half full loads with lots of water, rather than full loads that hardly get wet because of too many things. It will be easier on your machine, you'll experience less breakdowns of the washer and dryer, and you'll get a much better wash. If you stuff too many permanent press or wrinkle free clothes together while using the gentle cycle, they will still come out wrinkled. Then when you put them in the dryer or hang them on a line, the wrinkles will not fall out. Stuffing a machine too full does not accomplish a good job with laundry, and will cost you more time and money in the end.
Water: Clothes get less wear and tear if cold water is used in the washer. It saves you money, also, and there are liquid soaps now that dissolve quite well in cold water. If you want your clothes to look fresh and new for a long time, use cold water. Hot water can cause certain items of clothing to pill...that is, they get little fuzzy pills all over them. Do use hot water for baby things, underwear, and dishtowels and certain mens shirts that are 100% cotton. Sometimes the synthetic fabrics will melt in hot water, so be careful about water temperature with these.
Detergent: Be discerning in the use of laundry soap. You don't necessarily need to use the full capful advised on the bottle of laundry soap, neither do you need to be too stingy. Most clothes today, unless they are used by a farmer or construction worker, are not soiled enough to warrent much soap. Detergents wear the clothes out too, and cause them to fade. To test whether you are using too much soap, take a laundered item and put it in a pan of rinse water. Squeeze the garment and see how much suds it makes. Often, entire loads of laundry can be put through the cycle without adding detergent, since there is so much detergent still deposited in the clothes. Too much detergent is abrasive and may also harm the machine and the drain areas. If you are doing the small or mini cycle, use good sense and do not use as much detergent.
The dryer: Don't run the dryer all day long. Give it a chance to cool down and rest. Collect the lint often. Lint has been the cause of many dryer fires that have burned the entire house down. Do not leave the house when the dryer is on. Do not overstuff the dryer. It will not dry, and you'll have to put it through the dryer cycle again, which puts more stress on the machine. Treat your dryer with respect. Don't bang the door closed, and don't yank the door open. Turn off the cycle first, and then open the door. Make sure the dryer says "off" when you close the door if you are finished with it. Some dryers keep ticking the cycle even if you don't push the "on" button, and this uses up the dryer's life, as well as unnecessary power.
When you open the door of some dryers, you'll see a metal catch that holds the door shut. Always make sure none of the laundry gets caught on that thing, before you close the lid. If something catches on it, it will be a tight, twisted mess that will be impossible to straighten out, and you might end up throwing it away. Before you close the dryer door, look and see if anything is caught. Make sure all the things are fully inside the dryer.
Dry your clothes in the same categories they were washed. Take out the drip-dry items before putting a load in the dryer, and hang them on a hanger where air can circulate around them. Don't put fluffy towels in the same drying batch as black dress slacks and dress socks, or they will get lots of little fuzzy things on them that will be next to impossible to remove.
Your clothes and washable belongings: Have respect for yourself and treat your clothes with thankfulness and love. Your family is special. Each person deserves to be clothed in well fitting clothing that has not been treated horribly by
shoving all the colors and textures in the same load.
Household linens: Doilies, runners, tablecloths, and crocheted items should be washed with care. This is an interesting site that shows how to wash these things, and adds a bit of enjoyment to it. http://www.emsheart.com/info/linen%20care.htm
The Laundry Room: Keep it clean and orderly. Decorate it cheerfully so that it won't be a trial for you to get in there and do your work. Use wallborders and accessories that help you enjoy having a laundry room. Keep the dryer and washer free from clutter on the tops. Hang shelves for the detergents.
Laundry Products: You can now buy a variety of products that are natural and have an uplifting scent, or you can make your own. Check your Bath and Body shops for laundry rinses and other laundry supplies. In the meantime, to make your own rinses or pre-treatment spotters, go here http://www.makeyourown.net/ or here http://www.healthy-home-cleaning-tips.com/make-your-own.html
In days gone by, we used dishtowels on which were embroidered the day of the week and the task that was to be done. Here is a spiritual concept to those chores that I know you will enjoy.
http://godslittleacre.net/spiritualgrowth/wash_day.html
The list of days and chores made a lot of sense.
Monday was a good day to wash, after Sunday's restful activities.
Tuesday was naturally for ironing, after the wash was gathered in from the line.
Wednesday was logical for mending, after the ironing revealed needed buttons and tears.
Thursday was great for cleaning, after the wash was out of the way, and in preparation for grocery shopping and food preparation for the weekend.
Friday was shopping in preparation for the weekend activities, and
Saturday was cooking, to be ready for Sunday.
I hope you've enjoyed this dissertaion on laundry. I found an accurate description of how we used to do laundry here. http://www.uni.edu/~elder/wash2.html
There are many things worth taking note of, in doing your own laundry. In many respects, I think we lack the spiritual values in some of the chores we do, not remembering for whom it is being done. Life's days are short, and we must do our best while we live here on earth, so that we may hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of our Lord." Your home laundry can be done professionally and with pride, as if you were doing the most important job on earth, keeping in mind the people you are caring for, and the dignity with which you want to them to wear their clothing.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Reducing Stress
A certain amount of stress is normal and necessary in order to function at top level. Some stress is good for us, in that it makes us alert and helps us develop right responses to various situations. However, in these times, most people have more stress than they can handle. We cannot always control the demands or stress put upon us by others, but there are ways to reduce the stress we put on ourselves. Here are a few things that might help:
Develop Orderliness: Stress is produced eventually when the work piles up. The solution is not to allow it to pile up. Instead, live in the present, and clean as you go. Pick up after yourself in the kitchen or bathroom and don't leave a trail of evidence in every place you've been. Leave rooms clean and pleasant for the next person who will use it. Pick up packaging and wrappers immediately and toss them out or put them where you store such things, as soon as you unwrap the package. When the mail comes, put it all where it will end up, rather than stack papers and magazines here and there all over the house. At the end of the day, put things away, and the next day will not begin with stress.
Reduce Personal Confrontations: They only lead to arguments and more stress on you. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Learn to overlook a fault. Give people a chance to grow. If there is not a cliff-hanging life or death situation, ignore most of the bad information that enters your mind. Let it pass. There is a generation that lives and breathes confrontations and argumentations. To ask them to stop it is like asking a smoker not to smoke, or a drug addict not to take drugs. Faultfinding and criticism is part of their makeup, and once it becomes a habit, it is so deeply ingrained, that it will take major spiritual-heart surgery to correct it. It will take a long time to learn to avoid confrontations, but it can be done. Confrontations make others uncomfortable. I've never known anyone who developed a good relationship with others in this manner. In fact, such a technique makes others very uncomfortable. Most things can be overlooked. One day I observed a young man who confronted his own brother because someone else told him he said something. The brother had not said it, and was forced to defend himself, and felt very offended. For many years after that, the relationship was strained. Such confrontations force others to go to the exhaustive trouble to defend themselves and prove themselves, as though they were in a court before a judge. While we are all sensitive to stress in our own lives, we must also be aware that some of the things we say to others cause stress to them, as well. In short, do nothing that would start an argument. Think things through, and create an imaginary conversation with someone you are tempted to confront, and if in any way you see it will bring defense and arguing, don't attempt it. If you want to build strong and good relationships with people, such as adult family and church members, and avoid stress in your life, reduce personal confrontations. The Bible teaches that peacemakers are blessed, and that we are to live peaceful lives. This can help us avoid unnecessary stress.
Put beauty in life every single day: Every day that we are alive is cause to celebrate. Celebrate by dressing well and having good grooming. Add a smile. Drink out of a beautiful glass or cup. Say lovely things. Remember that what goes into the mind is what will end up on the face and come out of the mouth. Ugly thoughts can ruin your day. Practice good mental health by thinking good, positive thoughts of praise. Beauty can be found in many things, from the way you decorate and arrange your home, to the way you dress.
Honor Parents: Be sensitive to the emotional needs of your parents. Don't be in a hurry to run away from them. Parents put up resisitance when their grown children live lives too independenly of them. God created the generations to be interdependent. Live close to your parents and be there for them. They were there for you when you needed them. You won't regret it, and in doing so, you'll be blessed by God. Leaving your parents out of your lives can result in undo stress, as then you will have to deal with their protests or their anquish over you. Reduce the stress in your life by honoring parents. Some people who cannot live near their parents, honor them by sending cards and letters daily. It is somewhat fake just to show up on your parents doorstep when they are going to fix dinner for you, or for the obligatory Thanksgiving and Mothers Day. This can hardly be called honoring. Parents have sacrificed and invested a lot in their children, and need to be involved in their decision making even when they are grown. Things like buying houses, choosing careers and mates, are too important for young people to make all by themselves. Choose to allow God to work in the lives of your parents to help you make wise decisions. If for some reason you are not in good standing with your parents, honor them on their special days, such as birthdays and anniversaries or other times that are important to them, by giving greeting cards or a gift. This consistency will one day be noticed by them, and cause them to find less fault with you. An honoring spirit can go a long ways to reducing stress. If you had parents that you consider inadequate, or if you are in some way estranged from them, at least do not say anything bad about them. Word always travels back, and if you practice only saying good things, it will bring great rewards, and your stress will be reduced considerably. As they see your attitude change into a soft hearted, sweet and loving person, they will reduce the tension they direct towards you.
Eat Natural Foods: Eat foods as close to their natural form and source as you can. A sliced apple is better for you than apple cake, and a salad is better than a donut. Some vegetables are better in cooked form, as certain nutrients are released during cooking. Include green vegetables in your diet. Our cars have to have certain types of oil in them. We cannot just put any cheap thing into them and expect them to run smoothly, and our bodies are the same. Green vegetables are like the oil for the car; they will keep your body running smoothly. Food with additives contribute to the stress in our lives.
Be Creative Every Day: If at the end of the day you feel frustrated, think if you have been creative. Arts and crafts are wonderful. There are also ways to be creative in something as simple as clearing off a table. Change the color of the table cloth and add a bright centerpiece for the season. To be creative is to immitate our Creator. Creativity can go a long way in reducing stress.
Correct Yourself: Many times the very things that irritate us in others, are faults that we tolerate in ourselves. Parents often become stressed over the things children leave lying about, or over their messy rooms, but are their habits similar? Children and others will whine and complain, but do we do the same? The story is told of a father who took his son for a ride in his new car. When they returned the mother ask them what they saw on the ride. The child replied, "We saw two idiots, one crazy person, and stupid moron." This child was only repeating what he heard his fathers say. Sometimes we complain about things and say that this is ridiculous or that is repulsive, and then we become irritated when our own children say the same things to us. We may think children are rude to demand to know this or that, but are we doing the same thing to others? When we correct our own bad habits, we can remove a lot of unnecessary stress.
Accept the necessary stress: There will be stress in our lives. Look at it as being sent by God, and use it to learn the lessons needed to live properly. If we suffer for doing wrong, we must accept it and not complain. Our houses get messy and our relatives may be out of sorts with us, but if any of it is our fault, we must admit it and change our ways, in order to keep this kind of stress from coming upon us. As one fault is corrected, do not slide back, or the stress will return. Some stress is necessary in order to refine us. We have all been told that stress is bad, but people before us dealt with it, and we can too, and it can make better people of us. Welcome the stress that is necessary to make us stronger.
Get rid of personal bitterness: Sometimes we create stress for ourselves because we've had difficulties in our lives, and we feel bitter and unforgiving about it. Forgiveness does not mean the other person is right. It just means that we are free. Free yourself of bitterness and the stress will be reduced considerably. If someone cheated you or ridiculed you in child hood, don't attempt to pay back the rest of society by expecting and suspecting the same thing. No one is attracted to a suspicious person, and one of our goals in life is to draw others to our life message. Once bitterness is gone from your life, you'll feel the removal of a heavy burden and there will be less stress.
Avoid comparison: Comparisons are deadly. They can put more unnecessary stress on your life, as you try to keep up with others. Someone is always going to get something more than you or do better than you. There is no such thing as equality. Everyone is blessed by God in a different way. Some people have more property, but they have more responsibilities and less leisure time. Others have less but maybe have closer families and less stress. Learn not to compare circumstances. Instead, learn to discern strong spiritual values.
Develop Orderliness: Stress is produced eventually when the work piles up. The solution is not to allow it to pile up. Instead, live in the present, and clean as you go. Pick up after yourself in the kitchen or bathroom and don't leave a trail of evidence in every place you've been. Leave rooms clean and pleasant for the next person who will use it. Pick up packaging and wrappers immediately and toss them out or put them where you store such things, as soon as you unwrap the package. When the mail comes, put it all where it will end up, rather than stack papers and magazines here and there all over the house. At the end of the day, put things away, and the next day will not begin with stress.
Reduce Personal Confrontations: They only lead to arguments and more stress on you. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Learn to overlook a fault. Give people a chance to grow. If there is not a cliff-hanging life or death situation, ignore most of the bad information that enters your mind. Let it pass. There is a generation that lives and breathes confrontations and argumentations. To ask them to stop it is like asking a smoker not to smoke, or a drug addict not to take drugs. Faultfinding and criticism is part of their makeup, and once it becomes a habit, it is so deeply ingrained, that it will take major spiritual-heart surgery to correct it. It will take a long time to learn to avoid confrontations, but it can be done. Confrontations make others uncomfortable. I've never known anyone who developed a good relationship with others in this manner. In fact, such a technique makes others very uncomfortable. Most things can be overlooked. One day I observed a young man who confronted his own brother because someone else told him he said something. The brother had not said it, and was forced to defend himself, and felt very offended. For many years after that, the relationship was strained. Such confrontations force others to go to the exhaustive trouble to defend themselves and prove themselves, as though they were in a court before a judge. While we are all sensitive to stress in our own lives, we must also be aware that some of the things we say to others cause stress to them, as well. In short, do nothing that would start an argument. Think things through, and create an imaginary conversation with someone you are tempted to confront, and if in any way you see it will bring defense and arguing, don't attempt it. If you want to build strong and good relationships with people, such as adult family and church members, and avoid stress in your life, reduce personal confrontations. The Bible teaches that peacemakers are blessed, and that we are to live peaceful lives. This can help us avoid unnecessary stress.
Put beauty in life every single day: Every day that we are alive is cause to celebrate. Celebrate by dressing well and having good grooming. Add a smile. Drink out of a beautiful glass or cup. Say lovely things. Remember that what goes into the mind is what will end up on the face and come out of the mouth. Ugly thoughts can ruin your day. Practice good mental health by thinking good, positive thoughts of praise. Beauty can be found in many things, from the way you decorate and arrange your home, to the way you dress.
Honor Parents: Be sensitive to the emotional needs of your parents. Don't be in a hurry to run away from them. Parents put up resisitance when their grown children live lives too independenly of them. God created the generations to be interdependent. Live close to your parents and be there for them. They were there for you when you needed them. You won't regret it, and in doing so, you'll be blessed by God. Leaving your parents out of your lives can result in undo stress, as then you will have to deal with their protests or their anquish over you. Reduce the stress in your life by honoring parents. Some people who cannot live near their parents, honor them by sending cards and letters daily. It is somewhat fake just to show up on your parents doorstep when they are going to fix dinner for you, or for the obligatory Thanksgiving and Mothers Day. This can hardly be called honoring. Parents have sacrificed and invested a lot in their children, and need to be involved in their decision making even when they are grown. Things like buying houses, choosing careers and mates, are too important for young people to make all by themselves. Choose to allow God to work in the lives of your parents to help you make wise decisions. If for some reason you are not in good standing with your parents, honor them on their special days, such as birthdays and anniversaries or other times that are important to them, by giving greeting cards or a gift. This consistency will one day be noticed by them, and cause them to find less fault with you. An honoring spirit can go a long ways to reducing stress. If you had parents that you consider inadequate, or if you are in some way estranged from them, at least do not say anything bad about them. Word always travels back, and if you practice only saying good things, it will bring great rewards, and your stress will be reduced considerably. As they see your attitude change into a soft hearted, sweet and loving person, they will reduce the tension they direct towards you.
Eat Natural Foods: Eat foods as close to their natural form and source as you can. A sliced apple is better for you than apple cake, and a salad is better than a donut. Some vegetables are better in cooked form, as certain nutrients are released during cooking. Include green vegetables in your diet. Our cars have to have certain types of oil in them. We cannot just put any cheap thing into them and expect them to run smoothly, and our bodies are the same. Green vegetables are like the oil for the car; they will keep your body running smoothly. Food with additives contribute to the stress in our lives.
Be Creative Every Day: If at the end of the day you feel frustrated, think if you have been creative. Arts and crafts are wonderful. There are also ways to be creative in something as simple as clearing off a table. Change the color of the table cloth and add a bright centerpiece for the season. To be creative is to immitate our Creator. Creativity can go a long way in reducing stress.
Correct Yourself: Many times the very things that irritate us in others, are faults that we tolerate in ourselves. Parents often become stressed over the things children leave lying about, or over their messy rooms, but are their habits similar? Children and others will whine and complain, but do we do the same? The story is told of a father who took his son for a ride in his new car. When they returned the mother ask them what they saw on the ride. The child replied, "We saw two idiots, one crazy person, and stupid moron." This child was only repeating what he heard his fathers say. Sometimes we complain about things and say that this is ridiculous or that is repulsive, and then we become irritated when our own children say the same things to us. We may think children are rude to demand to know this or that, but are we doing the same thing to others? When we correct our own bad habits, we can remove a lot of unnecessary stress.
Accept the necessary stress: There will be stress in our lives. Look at it as being sent by God, and use it to learn the lessons needed to live properly. If we suffer for doing wrong, we must accept it and not complain. Our houses get messy and our relatives may be out of sorts with us, but if any of it is our fault, we must admit it and change our ways, in order to keep this kind of stress from coming upon us. As one fault is corrected, do not slide back, or the stress will return. Some stress is necessary in order to refine us. We have all been told that stress is bad, but people before us dealt with it, and we can too, and it can make better people of us. Welcome the stress that is necessary to make us stronger.
Get rid of personal bitterness: Sometimes we create stress for ourselves because we've had difficulties in our lives, and we feel bitter and unforgiving about it. Forgiveness does not mean the other person is right. It just means that we are free. Free yourself of bitterness and the stress will be reduced considerably. If someone cheated you or ridiculed you in child hood, don't attempt to pay back the rest of society by expecting and suspecting the same thing. No one is attracted to a suspicious person, and one of our goals in life is to draw others to our life message. Once bitterness is gone from your life, you'll feel the removal of a heavy burden and there will be less stress.
Avoid comparison: Comparisons are deadly. They can put more unnecessary stress on your life, as you try to keep up with others. Someone is always going to get something more than you or do better than you. There is no such thing as equality. Everyone is blessed by God in a different way. Some people have more property, but they have more responsibilities and less leisure time. Others have less but maybe have closer families and less stress. Learn not to compare circumstances. Instead, learn to discern strong spiritual values.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
For Young Girls and Teens
What is Your Personality Today?
by Lydia
Girls, here is a way to look at yourself and see if you are falling below the high standards
your family wants for you. The habits and attitudes you are now practicing, will one day
be deeply ingrained in you. What you end up being as an older woman, is what you are now
becoming. Be sure to study this carefully. Enlist the help of others (parents, grandparents, church authorities) to help you remember to correct a bad attitude and acquire a good one. When others remind you, be sure to thank them.
The following list was accompanied by hand drawn facial expressions of girls, but I have not figured out how to put them on the weblog, so you'll just have to use your imagination! I wrote it
around the year 1992.
Pouting:-
This girl looks like she had something disagreeable for breakfast. She is obviously not
getting her own way. The expression on her face reveals what she is thinking. She
can't understand how much it discourages others to be around her--in fact, they avoid
approaching her because she has a sour, ungrateful, pessimistic outlook on life. She
wakes up in the morning expecting the day to be horrible, and because of her
attitude, she makes everyone around her miserable.
"Love does not seek its own way." I Corinthians 13:5
Happy:-
It is a real delight and lift to see this person. She makes everyone around her feel joy.
Her attitude is calm and pleasant, and when she is present, it feels like a ray of
sunshine has crossed your path. Actually, it really is SON-shine, because her face
is a reflection of the time she has spent talking to the Lord in prayer, reading His word,
and remembering family and friends with good deeds and kind compliments.
"Happy is the man who finds wisdom." Proverbs 3:13
Quarrelsome and Argumentive:-'
This girl manages to find an objection to just about everythng
anyone says, unless it is completely to her own liking. Flippant remarks, objections,
contradicting (taking the opposite opinion or disagreeing), and acting superior makes
you want to avoid her. Everyone is cautious about getting into a conversation with
her, because it will always end up in a quarrel, or go around in circles, leaving the
other person feeling sad and disappointed. People avoid her and she becomes even
more bitter because she has no real friends. It is a vicious cycle! If only she would
learn to listen nicely and be agreeable enough to allow a smooth conversation.
"The servant of the Lord must not quarrel." 2 Timothy 2:24
Agreeable:-
Conversation flows smoothly with this girl. It is obvious she loves' God's last
creation -- mankind! She is easy to get along with, peaceful and helpful at home,
and a real energy giver. You never hear her criticize, condemn, or dislike anything.
She doesn't even criticize the weather, believing that every day is a valuable gift
from God. In that state of mind, she doesn't want to ruin a good day, or relationships,
with disagreeableness. Because of her co-operativeness, the Lord blesses her with
health, strength and inner beauty. She has the love and admiration of her family and
gets along well with her mother, who is her best friend. People seem to always want
to do something for her for no reason at all!
"Be at peace among yourselves." I Thessalonians 2:22
Suspicious:-
Having this kind of personality is like having a shark and a snake in the house
at the same time. Even the look on her face betrays her suspicious feelings.
Everyone has to tiptoe around her and watch their words and
hide their actions, for fear of being accused of something, questioned, confronted
or verbally attacked. If you ask her out to tea, she asks "why" in a demanding
tone, or says, "What is this all about," and it soon robs you of your enthusiasm
to do anything nice for her. She can't just accept friendship and kind gestures
graciously. She is also not very open to learning something that would be good
for her, and refuses to read the books her family recommends, and the advice
they give her.
"The works of the flesh are evident, which are...hatred, contentions...outbursts
of anger, selfish ambitions, dissentions, envy..." Galations 5:2
Amiable:-
Since this girl believes that life is a privilege, she thinks the best of everything
and looks on the good side of everyone. She automatically thinks pure and lovely
thoughts. Being around her is so inspiring, that you always come away with new
insights and ideas.
"Love always trusts." I Cor. 13:7
Tension-producer:-
For some reason, this perfectly calm girl, seems to create problems
wherever she goes. She doesn't appear to be doing anything naughty, but when
she is around, there is a quarrel or some kind of falling out between others
who are around her. Girls like this have an air of innocense but their
attitudes are causing jealousy and strife. They will often say, "What did I do?"
or claim not to have done anything. They seem to have learned the technique
of creating tension.
One way that this tension and quarrelling is produced, is through her own tale-bearing.
She goes to one person and reports something another is doing. Then she reports to the
other person, what the other one is doing. This creates tension between the two people,
while she smiles and happily goes about with an innocent air of detachement. She was
told when she was little that she should always tell the truth, and she does. Unfortunately,
she uses this truth telling to sabotage friendships and create strife. Telling the truth does
not include reporting things that are not our business, or stirring up trouble between those
around us.
"It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will quarrel."
Proverbs 20:3
Circumspect:-
by Lydia
Girls, here is a way to look at yourself and see if you are falling below the high standards
your family wants for you. The habits and attitudes you are now practicing, will one day
be deeply ingrained in you. What you end up being as an older woman, is what you are now
becoming. Be sure to study this carefully. Enlist the help of others (parents, grandparents, church authorities) to help you remember to correct a bad attitude and acquire a good one. When others remind you, be sure to thank them.
The following list was accompanied by hand drawn facial expressions of girls, but I have not figured out how to put them on the weblog, so you'll just have to use your imagination! I wrote it
around the year 1992.
Pouting:-
This girl looks like she had something disagreeable for breakfast. She is obviously not
getting her own way. The expression on her face reveals what she is thinking. She
can't understand how much it discourages others to be around her--in fact, they avoid
approaching her because she has a sour, ungrateful, pessimistic outlook on life. She
wakes up in the morning expecting the day to be horrible, and because of her
attitude, she makes everyone around her miserable.
"Love does not seek its own way." I Corinthians 13:5
Happy:-
It is a real delight and lift to see this person. She makes everyone around her feel joy.
Her attitude is calm and pleasant, and when she is present, it feels like a ray of
sunshine has crossed your path. Actually, it really is SON-shine, because her face
is a reflection of the time she has spent talking to the Lord in prayer, reading His word,
and remembering family and friends with good deeds and kind compliments.
"Happy is the man who finds wisdom." Proverbs 3:13
Quarrelsome and Argumentive:-'
This girl manages to find an objection to just about everythng
anyone says, unless it is completely to her own liking. Flippant remarks, objections,
contradicting (taking the opposite opinion or disagreeing), and acting superior makes
you want to avoid her. Everyone is cautious about getting into a conversation with
her, because it will always end up in a quarrel, or go around in circles, leaving the
other person feeling sad and disappointed. People avoid her and she becomes even
more bitter because she has no real friends. It is a vicious cycle! If only she would
learn to listen nicely and be agreeable enough to allow a smooth conversation.
"The servant of the Lord must not quarrel." 2 Timothy 2:24
Agreeable:-
Conversation flows smoothly with this girl. It is obvious she loves' God's last
creation -- mankind! She is easy to get along with, peaceful and helpful at home,
and a real energy giver. You never hear her criticize, condemn, or dislike anything.
She doesn't even criticize the weather, believing that every day is a valuable gift
from God. In that state of mind, she doesn't want to ruin a good day, or relationships,
with disagreeableness. Because of her co-operativeness, the Lord blesses her with
health, strength and inner beauty. She has the love and admiration of her family and
gets along well with her mother, who is her best friend. People seem to always want
to do something for her for no reason at all!
"Be at peace among yourselves." I Thessalonians 2:22
Suspicious:-
Having this kind of personality is like having a shark and a snake in the house
at the same time. Even the look on her face betrays her suspicious feelings.
Everyone has to tiptoe around her and watch their words and
hide their actions, for fear of being accused of something, questioned, confronted
or verbally attacked. If you ask her out to tea, she asks "why" in a demanding
tone, or says, "What is this all about," and it soon robs you of your enthusiasm
to do anything nice for her. She can't just accept friendship and kind gestures
graciously. She is also not very open to learning something that would be good
for her, and refuses to read the books her family recommends, and the advice
they give her.
"The works of the flesh are evident, which are...hatred, contentions...outbursts
of anger, selfish ambitions, dissentions, envy..." Galations 5:2
Amiable:-
Since this girl believes that life is a privilege, she thinks the best of everything
and looks on the good side of everyone. She automatically thinks pure and lovely
thoughts. Being around her is so inspiring, that you always come away with new
insights and ideas.
"Love always trusts." I Cor. 13:7
Tension-producer:-
For some reason, this perfectly calm girl, seems to create problems
wherever she goes. She doesn't appear to be doing anything naughty, but when
she is around, there is a quarrel or some kind of falling out between others
who are around her. Girls like this have an air of innocense but their
attitudes are causing jealousy and strife. They will often say, "What did I do?"
or claim not to have done anything. They seem to have learned the technique
of creating tension.
One way that this tension and quarrelling is produced, is through her own tale-bearing.
She goes to one person and reports something another is doing. Then she reports to the
other person, what the other one is doing. This creates tension between the two people,
while she smiles and happily goes about with an innocent air of detachement. She was
told when she was little that she should always tell the truth, and she does. Unfortunately,
she uses this truth telling to sabotage friendships and create strife. Telling the truth does
not include reporting things that are not our business, or stirring up trouble between those
around us.
"It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will quarrel."
Proverbs 20:3
Circumspect:-
This girl is very aware of the effect of her attitudes and actions, as well
as being sensitive to the feelings of others. For example, she can sense when
she is over-stepping her bounds in conversation, and will back off if she is
not well-received. She has a way of avoiding strife and she knows how to
ease a tense situation. Her behaviour is modest and her attitude is kind.
She isn't focused on her own pleasures, desires and wishes, but tries to
compliment others and invest in their lives.
"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality
and without hypocrisy." James 3:17
as being sensitive to the feelings of others. For example, she can sense when
she is over-stepping her bounds in conversation, and will back off if she is
not well-received. She has a way of avoiding strife and she knows how to
ease a tense situation. Her behaviour is modest and her attitude is kind.
She isn't focused on her own pleasures, desires and wishes, but tries to
compliment others and invest in their lives.
"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality
and without hypocrisy." James 3:17
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Dissenting Views
Cullercoats CliffsI decided to collect "dissenting views" (which are often rude comments) here and keep it on one post. Readers are welcome to give a ready answer for the reason of the hope that is in you, regarding the role of wife, mother and homemaker! Just remember not to slip into the same kinds of insults as the dissenters dish out.
From Anonymous.
Lady: I suspect you are no lady at all but a greasy, saggy, baggy, wrinkled old lady living in the past. Don't you realize the harm you are doing spreading this kind of thing to young women? It is a day and age they should know they should be in a college getting a good education, not confined to a marriage. Shame on you and good riddance.
Dear Anonymous,
You really need to get a grip on yourself. I'm a lot less saggy than some of you young girls who sit around all day eating chips and drinking beer. Perhaps you should work in the garden more and grow some fresh veggies for your complexion and your health. I've seen a lot more wrinkles in some of your age, than in 60 year old women, these days. Hard drinking and low living catches up with you fast.
If you don't want to be a "greasy, saggy, baggy, wrinkled old lady" by the age of 30, you need to take a sober look at your daily life. How much fresh air are you getting? How much fresh fruit and vegetables are you eating? How much water are you drinking? How much rest are you getting? Are you preparing for marriage, for a lifetime, or are you planning on having a starter marriage, and three or four more after that? The way you look as an old lady will tell the story of your life. You can either have a sweet countenance or be bitter, and that will show on your face.
As for my spreading the art of home living to young women, I fail to understand why your blogs, filled with the nonsensical jabber about the latest sci-fi movies are better equipped to influence young girls.
At last, regarding college, I think this man explains it better:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/MikeSAdams/2008/02/13/hannah_and_her_
http://www.townhall.com/Columnists/MikeSAdams/
Again from Anonymous: (I wish you anonymous people would use Anonymous 1 or Anonymous 2, or make up a name like Jack and Jill, etc. so I can tell to whom I am addressing. Otherwise you all sound like something that came out of the same factory.)
I wish you would be more open minded about things. Women are so much more than home makers! I can't imagine getting all this education and then being locked up in the house all day. Where do you think money comes from? Haven't we come a long ways from the past in order to get to the stage where women at last have the freedom and independence to earn money? This isn't the 1950's anymore and you need to wake up. No one is going to look after you the rest of your life.
You are so ignorant.
Dear Anonymous: It would take some time to answer all your accusations at once, so I will deal with one at a time.
I find that many young women are not very open-minded, themselves. They come across sites like this and they are horrified. They can't accept the fact that even college graduates do not want to pursue their careers but go home and take care of their husbands, their gardens, and their babies. What is so ignorant about doing what is right at the time it needs doing? What is so wrong with putting duty before desire? Perhaps you need to get used to some different ideas other than the one idea you have, and be a little more open-minded to the diversity you so loudly claim to love. Diversity seems to cover all kinds of things, except when women want to be married for life and raise children, teach them at home, take care of the house, iron their husband's shirts and help him in his destiny. Diversity is okay as long as it doesn't include the homemaker.
From Anonymous.
Lady: I suspect you are no lady at all but a greasy, saggy, baggy, wrinkled old lady living in the past. Don't you realize the harm you are doing spreading this kind of thing to young women? It is a day and age they should know they should be in a college getting a good education, not confined to a marriage. Shame on you and good riddance.
Dear Anonymous,
You really need to get a grip on yourself. I'm a lot less saggy than some of you young girls who sit around all day eating chips and drinking beer. Perhaps you should work in the garden more and grow some fresh veggies for your complexion and your health. I've seen a lot more wrinkles in some of your age, than in 60 year old women, these days. Hard drinking and low living catches up with you fast.
If you don't want to be a "greasy, saggy, baggy, wrinkled old lady" by the age of 30, you need to take a sober look at your daily life. How much fresh air are you getting? How much fresh fruit and vegetables are you eating? How much water are you drinking? How much rest are you getting? Are you preparing for marriage, for a lifetime, or are you planning on having a starter marriage, and three or four more after that? The way you look as an old lady will tell the story of your life. You can either have a sweet countenance or be bitter, and that will show on your face.
As for my spreading the art of home living to young women, I fail to understand why your blogs, filled with the nonsensical jabber about the latest sci-fi movies are better equipped to influence young girls.
At last, regarding college, I think this man explains it better:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/MikeSAdams/2008/02/13/hannah_and_her_
http://www.townhall.com/Columnists/MikeSAdams/
Again from Anonymous: (I wish you anonymous people would use Anonymous 1 or Anonymous 2, or make up a name like Jack and Jill, etc. so I can tell to whom I am addressing. Otherwise you all sound like something that came out of the same factory.)
I wish you would be more open minded about things. Women are so much more than home makers! I can't imagine getting all this education and then being locked up in the house all day. Where do you think money comes from? Haven't we come a long ways from the past in order to get to the stage where women at last have the freedom and independence to earn money? This isn't the 1950's anymore and you need to wake up. No one is going to look after you the rest of your life.
You are so ignorant.
Dear Anonymous: It would take some time to answer all your accusations at once, so I will deal with one at a time.
I find that many young women are not very open-minded, themselves. They come across sites like this and they are horrified. They can't accept the fact that even college graduates do not want to pursue their careers but go home and take care of their husbands, their gardens, and their babies. What is so ignorant about doing what is right at the time it needs doing? What is so wrong with putting duty before desire? Perhaps you need to get used to some different ideas other than the one idea you have, and be a little more open-minded to the diversity you so loudly claim to love. Diversity seems to cover all kinds of things, except when women want to be married for life and raise children, teach them at home, take care of the house, iron their husband's shirts and help him in his destiny. Diversity is okay as long as it doesn't include the homemaker.
+(Small).JPG)
Saggy baggy old me in 2008.
Here is another rude comment, for your research. I combined several comments because they were all the same, like it came from a textbook or something. It reminds me of the list someone gave me about feminism, which explained, among other things,
Here is the combined comment:
"Dearie, I never intended for you to publish my comment; I knew you wouldn't. I just wanted YOU to read it. Of course I have anger; I'm a woman, not a Stepford. And nice try, but the Bible was not that man's authority in that ridiculous sermon. "Maybe you should take a course in communications or negotiations"LOL Like you did? Calling women who disagree "silly"? Calling girls who are worried and ask "what if" questions self-important and smart-mouths? You are a Victorian-laced woman from a race that should be dead...you are pathetic. There are just no words for the rot you represent. The Bible is an archaic mode of life that does not work in the world today...why do you cling to it? Don't you know you cannot live in the past?....People are not getting married anymore, in the tradtional way. Why can't you accept that? And, there are different relationships today, not just the husband/wife relationship...the time will come when people like you will be guilty of the crime of bigotry..you are a racist witch who doesn't deserve space here....housework doesn't take rocket science...it doesn't require you be locked in your house 24/7. I'm going to be rich enough to afford a maid, and my children will have a nanny, so I can get on with something meaningful in life, like a career and a paycheck. I don't want to subject my children to poverty."
The reason I combined the comments, is explained in the "For Feminists and Students" post on the side. Briefly, I detailed that if the comments became annoyingly similar and lacking in originality, I would just post them as one, as they all sound like they are coming out of the same machine.
The feminist movement cannot be accomplished without the infiltration of Marxist/Communist teaching. This teaching even combines parts of the Bible to illustrate their points.
That explains why feminists go on and on and on in endless discussions about theology and "doctrinal disputes" and their obesession with a man's role in life. I do feel sorry for them, for they will be denying themselves, in life, the opportunity to have a loving husband who will cherish them enough to protect them and allow them the freedom to be home.
Another one:
"I can't believe that women like you still exist. You ought to be dead, or locked in a museam."
You wouldn't be from Romania, would you? You sound a lot like some of the women who write to me from there. Your comment was almost word for word what the communists told Christians in China. "Your God will be locked away in a museam", they said. Regarding museams, though, I have always wanted one. I could charge admission and still stay home. You have no idea the number of antiques I have around here.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
We can have happiness in our lives. Though there be tragedy and deep concerns which we must
deal with, these difficulties are not made easier by grumpiness or moodiness. Sometimes we have
to smile through the tears. It is certainly not appropriate to be unsympathetic during sad situations, but
it is possible to be firmly optimistic. We can have peace in our lives even when there is turmoil around us.
Many people who are unhappy are fighting God. When we fight God, we are walking a path full of darkness where we are stumbling and can never quite have victory over our problems, On this path, we cannot find a successful plan to live. When we live the principles of the Bible (principles of life, love, justice, peace, goodness, righteousness, etc.) our path is clearly lit by the living Word.
Those who fight for good causes that help save people's souls and people's lives, though somber and concerned, experience happiness, knowing that they are in alignment with God's will. In contrast, those who fight against the the commandments of God, are bitter, frustrated, resentful, unhappy, and discouraged. True happiness comes from doing what is right. To develop the habit of happiness, try this: do a task that you have been putting off for some time, such as cleaning a shelf or drawer or room--or even the garage or yard, that has been bothering you for years, or clean off your front porch and decorate it in a welcoming manner. These simple things often bring the greatest happiness.
Even when life is good, many people experience depression. They cannot seem to identify why they feel so low. Our moods are made better by learning to seek loveliness and beauty in our lives and doing good things for others, rather than looking on the dark side of everything. When you get up in the morning, do you immediately think that it is going to be another trying day, or do you look for the opportunity to make it a better day than previous days? Do you take mental note of the mistakes of the previous days, and learn strategies of avoiding such errors?
If you will look for the good that can be done today, you will be able to look back on the week, just as God looked on the Creation, and say that "it is good." In a month you will see that things have changed in your life. As the years go by, you'll see that you have not only been happy, but you have done something worthwhile.
What kind of story will your life tell? A story of despair and disappointment, or a story of courage and fulfillment? It all depends on whether or not you will adopt the thinking habits that determine what you do or do not do. Will you go through your life being picky and critical about everything that is good, digging for flaws in people's lives? Most people will avoid such acquaintances, and if we continue in this behaviour, we will feel less and less happy.
Everyone who has ever lived, has experienced troubles. The greatest battle to fight in life is discouragement.
One person can have very little and be happy, and yet another, who strives for achievement in great things, can
be unhappy. The key to happiness is to have a purpose in life that is so strong that nothing can deter you; nothing
can discourage you. We must not just look to the conditions in our lives at the moment, but to what our goals are
for the future.
We can substitute depressing thoughts, item by item, with happy thoughts this purpose in life. Your role in life as
a daughter or sister, wife or mother, friend or church member, grandmother or mother-in-law, has the potential of
having a very strong purpose. Your various roles in life can be a shining light to those around you and lift their hearts
considerably.
In the mornings when the weather is dim, rainy, cloudy, and cold, we can either look at it and let it affect our mood for the worse, or we can look at it as a wonderful painting, full of mystery; weather that is designed to make the grass greener and the countryside well-nourished. We can have happiness knowing that such uncomfortable weather affords us more time indoors to do things that ought to be done, without the lure of recreational activities.
Being constantly critical or thinking of the dark side of everything, can rob our hearts of happiness and create discouragement. Try for one full day not to criticise or complain, and see if your mood is elevated.
Surround yourself with beauty and the things you like, and you will find yourself considerably less depressed. If you are depressed, check to see if you've done these things today:
Have I been creative?
Have I helped someone or given some encouragement to someone else?
Have I eaten right? (Too many sweets and caffeine can cause anxiety: some chocolate has caffeine in it).
Have I looked my very best today?
Have I smiled? (A smile can actually improve your mental outlook and change gloomy feelings)
Have I learned something today?
Have I avoided reading discouraging material, or am I feeding on the "bad news" that is broadcast? (Try avoiding these things for several days and see if there is a noted improvment in your happiness level. You'll discover that the
world keeps on going!)
Have I improved myself in any way today?
Is my house clean, orderly, and beautifully decorated?
To keep discouragement from crippling your life, just remember that life is part good and part bad, and it has its ups and its downs. The weather is sometimes cold and sometimes hot. Our financial situations are sometimes comfortable and sometimes too tight. We can recover from all this and move on, but it does not mean that we can completely escape these conditions in life, for they are part of life. What we can do is determine to be encouraged and to succeed in our purpose in life. To fight off discouragement, sometimes we must "grin and bear" things, or "smile though the heart is aching." The people before us did it, but somehow, we may have been led to believe that it is better to wallow in self pity and melt into a puddle of gloom when troubles come upon us. As you practice smiling through troubles, you will eventually overcome depression.
There are things that feed discouragement, that we must leave behind us: depressing words of certain music, reading materials and friendships, and depressing things to look at. Surround yourself in beauty, and you will find that you have fewer days of unhappiness.
As we grow older, we must remember that others are watching us to see how we handle problems, and that also we are leaving a record or "history" of what we do. Will we be embarrassed about the way we carried on about problems, or will we be glad that we did not cave in to discouragement? We live in an era where people have been encouraged to "vent" and air every personal problem, rather than practice the restraint that was more dominant in people in past centuries. To gain control of ourselves is a wonderful mark of strength. One of the best ways to begin this self-control is in the area of fighting discouragement and practicing a life of happiness.
To practice the kind of self control that was characteristic of our forbearers, try this: In the gloomy moments, force yourself to smile, and think of something very good. It will not be easy, but the doing of it will eventually make you the boss and the mood the servant!
Happiness does not come from external circumstances. It can be had just by changing the mind! I once read of a young man who did not come from a happy home, who would escape by himself to draw and paint. He painted houses that he imagined happy families lived in, and he created his own world in his mind. He fought discouragement by being creative. You know him as Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light. He wrote that the light of a fireplace or candles in a home was a warm, golden light, while the light of the modern screens was blue. He captured that warm light in his beautiful paintings.
Another boy from a very poor family, used to take walks in old neighborhoods of Victorian homes in the South. He learned to love architecture. One day an architect noticed him and helped him learn to design homes. His is known as William Poole, and publishes a regular periodical which you can buy called "WIlliam Poole Designs." In both these cases, people kept hope alive in their hearts by pursing a strong purpose in life.
If you want to have a purpose in life, than pursue it with all your heart. Gird yourself up with determination, and fight off discouragement. If you want to have a lovely, functional house and a happy home, then don't let discouragement rob you of that happiness. Gather around you the tools and learning materials you need to accomplish your goal, and go to it. Fight off discouragement by substituting good productive thoughts for the old, defeating thoughts. Keep hope alive, and keep the sun shining in your heart.
If you are persistently unhappy, then check into your relationship with others and with God. You may be sufferring from unresolved conflicts. Make things right with everyone, and submit to your authorities in life, and you will find favor with them. The jitters will go away, and you'll be free to be happy, at last.
Live each day as though it were your last. Be pretty, be cheerful, be happy. Remember that God is writing a book of all your words and deeds. Practice only the things you want recorded. Ask forgiveness of wrongs and let God erase them from the story. Others are watching you too: your little children, your husband, your parents and siblings, and your spiritual sisters and brothers and church authorities. You can either encourage them or discourage them by your countenance.
If you want to be happy, then do the things that will bring happiness: do what is good and right. One of my loved ones recently told me that he was feeling on the down side for quite awhile and could not understand it. After finding employment that he liked, the feeling went away. It is true that we can live without so many material things and be happy, but a man must not forget that he has an obligation to support his family. As we add more comforts to our lives from the money that is earned, our responsibility to others certainly increases. The rich are warned, in the New Testament, to also be rich in good works. As we increase in good works, our happiness is also increased.
Another person said that once she began to send out cards and letters to people just to cheer them, her mood was improved. Your countenance and mood is often in direct relationship to the things that you do and the thoughts that you think. Think on the good side of things each day and try not to let gloom and discouragement creep in. Fight them off mentally. Happiness will not abide in a soul that is full of dark and gloomy thoughts, so think about your future, and be happy.
Happiness must be found in the home. The home is a source of rich culture and learning. When we realize this, we can be much happier. Samuel Johnson, the author of the first English dictionary, said, "To be happy at home, is the ultimate result of all ambition." We must earnestly strive to keep our homes free from the problems this world offers, and make them sweet havens of safety and rest. This is largely in the hands of the woman, for no matter where she lives--whether it is a tent or a mansion, she naturally wants to make it a nest full of good things that make a home feel homey. My friend and sister in Christ is is visiting me from Australia, commented that when we see something cooking on the stove top, we automatically want to stir it. When we see a baby we want to pick it up. When we are visited, we want to serve them something to drink. If we will allow it, these natural instincts will return to our lives, and make us much happier.
Look on the bright side of things. Every cloud does have a silver lining. Though evil surrounds us, our triumph is in the fact that God has provided an avenue to be happy: think lovely thoughts and do what is right.
Things to Read:
Philippians 4
Psalm 25
I Peter 4:14
James 5:11
Romans 14:22
Matthew 5
Publications and Books:
My Heart Sings by Joan Winmill Brown
deal with, these difficulties are not made easier by grumpiness or moodiness. Sometimes we have
to smile through the tears. It is certainly not appropriate to be unsympathetic during sad situations, but
it is possible to be firmly optimistic. We can have peace in our lives even when there is turmoil around us.
Many people who are unhappy are fighting God. When we fight God, we are walking a path full of darkness where we are stumbling and can never quite have victory over our problems, On this path, we cannot find a successful plan to live. When we live the principles of the Bible (principles of life, love, justice, peace, goodness, righteousness, etc.) our path is clearly lit by the living Word.
Those who fight for good causes that help save people's souls and people's lives, though somber and concerned, experience happiness, knowing that they are in alignment with God's will. In contrast, those who fight against the the commandments of God, are bitter, frustrated, resentful, unhappy, and discouraged. True happiness comes from doing what is right. To develop the habit of happiness, try this: do a task that you have been putting off for some time, such as cleaning a shelf or drawer or room--or even the garage or yard, that has been bothering you for years, or clean off your front porch and decorate it in a welcoming manner. These simple things often bring the greatest happiness.
Even when life is good, many people experience depression. They cannot seem to identify why they feel so low. Our moods are made better by learning to seek loveliness and beauty in our lives and doing good things for others, rather than looking on the dark side of everything. When you get up in the morning, do you immediately think that it is going to be another trying day, or do you look for the opportunity to make it a better day than previous days? Do you take mental note of the mistakes of the previous days, and learn strategies of avoiding such errors?
If you will look for the good that can be done today, you will be able to look back on the week, just as God looked on the Creation, and say that "it is good." In a month you will see that things have changed in your life. As the years go by, you'll see that you have not only been happy, but you have done something worthwhile.
What kind of story will your life tell? A story of despair and disappointment, or a story of courage and fulfillment? It all depends on whether or not you will adopt the thinking habits that determine what you do or do not do. Will you go through your life being picky and critical about everything that is good, digging for flaws in people's lives? Most people will avoid such acquaintances, and if we continue in this behaviour, we will feel less and less happy.
Everyone who has ever lived, has experienced troubles. The greatest battle to fight in life is discouragement.
One person can have very little and be happy, and yet another, who strives for achievement in great things, can
be unhappy. The key to happiness is to have a purpose in life that is so strong that nothing can deter you; nothing
can discourage you. We must not just look to the conditions in our lives at the moment, but to what our goals are
for the future.
We can substitute depressing thoughts, item by item, with happy thoughts this purpose in life. Your role in life as
a daughter or sister, wife or mother, friend or church member, grandmother or mother-in-law, has the potential of
having a very strong purpose. Your various roles in life can be a shining light to those around you and lift their hearts
considerably.
In the mornings when the weather is dim, rainy, cloudy, and cold, we can either look at it and let it affect our mood for the worse, or we can look at it as a wonderful painting, full of mystery; weather that is designed to make the grass greener and the countryside well-nourished. We can have happiness knowing that such uncomfortable weather affords us more time indoors to do things that ought to be done, without the lure of recreational activities.
Being constantly critical or thinking of the dark side of everything, can rob our hearts of happiness and create discouragement. Try for one full day not to criticise or complain, and see if your mood is elevated.
Surround yourself with beauty and the things you like, and you will find yourself considerably less depressed. If you are depressed, check to see if you've done these things today:
Have I been creative?
Have I helped someone or given some encouragement to someone else?
Have I eaten right? (Too many sweets and caffeine can cause anxiety: some chocolate has caffeine in it).
Have I looked my very best today?
Have I smiled? (A smile can actually improve your mental outlook and change gloomy feelings)
Have I learned something today?
Have I avoided reading discouraging material, or am I feeding on the "bad news" that is broadcast? (Try avoiding these things for several days and see if there is a noted improvment in your happiness level. You'll discover that the
world keeps on going!)
Have I improved myself in any way today?
Is my house clean, orderly, and beautifully decorated?
To keep discouragement from crippling your life, just remember that life is part good and part bad, and it has its ups and its downs. The weather is sometimes cold and sometimes hot. Our financial situations are sometimes comfortable and sometimes too tight. We can recover from all this and move on, but it does not mean that we can completely escape these conditions in life, for they are part of life. What we can do is determine to be encouraged and to succeed in our purpose in life. To fight off discouragement, sometimes we must "grin and bear" things, or "smile though the heart is aching." The people before us did it, but somehow, we may have been led to believe that it is better to wallow in self pity and melt into a puddle of gloom when troubles come upon us. As you practice smiling through troubles, you will eventually overcome depression.
There are things that feed discouragement, that we must leave behind us: depressing words of certain music, reading materials and friendships, and depressing things to look at. Surround yourself in beauty, and you will find that you have fewer days of unhappiness.
As we grow older, we must remember that others are watching us to see how we handle problems, and that also we are leaving a record or "history" of what we do. Will we be embarrassed about the way we carried on about problems, or will we be glad that we did not cave in to discouragement? We live in an era where people have been encouraged to "vent" and air every personal problem, rather than practice the restraint that was more dominant in people in past centuries. To gain control of ourselves is a wonderful mark of strength. One of the best ways to begin this self-control is in the area of fighting discouragement and practicing a life of happiness.
To practice the kind of self control that was characteristic of our forbearers, try this: In the gloomy moments, force yourself to smile, and think of something very good. It will not be easy, but the doing of it will eventually make you the boss and the mood the servant!
Happiness does not come from external circumstances. It can be had just by changing the mind! I once read of a young man who did not come from a happy home, who would escape by himself to draw and paint. He painted houses that he imagined happy families lived in, and he created his own world in his mind. He fought discouragement by being creative. You know him as Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light. He wrote that the light of a fireplace or candles in a home was a warm, golden light, while the light of the modern screens was blue. He captured that warm light in his beautiful paintings.
Another boy from a very poor family, used to take walks in old neighborhoods of Victorian homes in the South. He learned to love architecture. One day an architect noticed him and helped him learn to design homes. His is known as William Poole, and publishes a regular periodical which you can buy called "WIlliam Poole Designs." In both these cases, people kept hope alive in their hearts by pursing a strong purpose in life.
If you want to have a purpose in life, than pursue it with all your heart. Gird yourself up with determination, and fight off discouragement. If you want to have a lovely, functional house and a happy home, then don't let discouragement rob you of that happiness. Gather around you the tools and learning materials you need to accomplish your goal, and go to it. Fight off discouragement by substituting good productive thoughts for the old, defeating thoughts. Keep hope alive, and keep the sun shining in your heart.
If you are persistently unhappy, then check into your relationship with others and with God. You may be sufferring from unresolved conflicts. Make things right with everyone, and submit to your authorities in life, and you will find favor with them. The jitters will go away, and you'll be free to be happy, at last.
Live each day as though it were your last. Be pretty, be cheerful, be happy. Remember that God is writing a book of all your words and deeds. Practice only the things you want recorded. Ask forgiveness of wrongs and let God erase them from the story. Others are watching you too: your little children, your husband, your parents and siblings, and your spiritual sisters and brothers and church authorities. You can either encourage them or discourage them by your countenance.
If you want to be happy, then do the things that will bring happiness: do what is good and right. One of my loved ones recently told me that he was feeling on the down side for quite awhile and could not understand it. After finding employment that he liked, the feeling went away. It is true that we can live without so many material things and be happy, but a man must not forget that he has an obligation to support his family. As we add more comforts to our lives from the money that is earned, our responsibility to others certainly increases. The rich are warned, in the New Testament, to also be rich in good works. As we increase in good works, our happiness is also increased.
Another person said that once she began to send out cards and letters to people just to cheer them, her mood was improved. Your countenance and mood is often in direct relationship to the things that you do and the thoughts that you think. Think on the good side of things each day and try not to let gloom and discouragement creep in. Fight them off mentally. Happiness will not abide in a soul that is full of dark and gloomy thoughts, so think about your future, and be happy.
Happiness must be found in the home. The home is a source of rich culture and learning. When we realize this, we can be much happier. Samuel Johnson, the author of the first English dictionary, said, "To be happy at home, is the ultimate result of all ambition." We must earnestly strive to keep our homes free from the problems this world offers, and make them sweet havens of safety and rest. This is largely in the hands of the woman, for no matter where she lives--whether it is a tent or a mansion, she naturally wants to make it a nest full of good things that make a home feel homey. My friend and sister in Christ is is visiting me from Australia, commented that when we see something cooking on the stove top, we automatically want to stir it. When we see a baby we want to pick it up. When we are visited, we want to serve them something to drink. If we will allow it, these natural instincts will return to our lives, and make us much happier.
Look on the bright side of things. Every cloud does have a silver lining. Though evil surrounds us, our triumph is in the fact that God has provided an avenue to be happy: think lovely thoughts and do what is right.
Things to Read:
Philippians 4
Psalm 25
I Peter 4:14
James 5:11
Romans 14:22
Matthew 5
Publications and Books:
My Heart Sings by Joan Winmill Brown
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Something I'd Like to Know
What kind of upbringing did Michael Shiavo have, and who are his parents? His actions are a reflection on his upbringing. Perhaps they did their best to instill good principles in him, but he was left in the care of institutions to follow them at his own will, or to be influenced by others.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Honoring Parents
Our mid-week Bible study is led by a very wise, elderly man. We were discussing the scripture about honoring parents. He made some insights into this by asking the question, "How long does one honor his parents?" Through careful search of the scriptures, we discovered that it was very dishonoring even if an older person, whose parents had passed on, lived contrary to his godly upbringing. In other words, if a man in his thirties became rebellious to the values of his Christian parents, and decided to go the way of the mainstream world, and if he was aware that it would hurt his parents while they were living, it is still a violation of this scripture, and a violation of his conscience.
Many people grow up in good Christian homes, but when they leave, they get under the influence of people who think that they were deprived of "the real world." These grown children then entertain themselves with things and friendships that would have aggravated and grieved the parents tremendously had they done it at home. No matter how old we get, we always are blessed by keeping to the principles that our parents passed down to us, as they tried so hard to instill in us. They felt their responsibility and were obeying God by bringing us up in the nurture and admonitiion of the Lord. Let us not despise this even when we leave home.
Many people grow up in good Christian homes, but when they leave, they get under the influence of people who think that they were deprived of "the real world." These grown children then entertain themselves with things and friendships that would have aggravated and grieved the parents tremendously had they done it at home. No matter how old we get, we always are blessed by keeping to the principles that our parents passed down to us, as they tried so hard to instill in us. They felt their responsibility and were obeying God by bringing us up in the nurture and admonitiion of the Lord. Let us not despise this even when we leave home.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Wasted Potential
With the tremendous energy and mind-power of youth, it is a tragedy that so much of it is wasted in church youth groups.
My first experience with a youth group was when I was in my early 20's and was invited to attend a youth group party. I was never at ease the entire evening with some of the things that went on in this group. The first thing they did is play a ridiculous game which involved getting the arms and legs of each person all tangled up with other people, until we all together looked like a giant octopus. I trusted the young minister who had organized this youth group and was sure he was about to use it as an illustration in an important spiritual concept! The game seemed more like something small children would do without trying, while struggling to reach for their own toys.
After this the group sat around and contributed complaint stories about all their problems, and in particular, their parents. The leader supposed that attending this group more often would help keep the young people in the church. I can't remember every detail of what went on, but I never attended another youth group after that one time. I just couldn't see what the purpose was. They did not study the Bible, and they did not talk about spiritual concepts, nor did they discuss useful things to do for the church or for others.
I consequently did not involve my own children in youth groups. Occasionally they were sometimes introduced to such things, through various circumstances, but I never saw that it enhanced their spirituality in any way, nor did it increase their Christian maturity. Exposure to the youth group was more likely to give my children unexplainable frustration than it was to ennoble them and give them the tools for mature living or the hope of a bright future.
I remember once a minister asked if I would take a turn hosting the youth group meeting in my home. I gladly accepted, thinking "Hmm. Meeting at the home with the family present, is a good thing!" I didn't know that I would be prompted by him to leave the room, along with the siblings of my teenage son. What was the great secret that necessitated the absence of the parents in this group? I asked about it and was informed that kids wouldn't "open up" with their problems when the parents were present. Being a homeschooler, our family was very close and loved to discuss many concepts and principles together. I was very saddenned that the youth group separated the young people from the parents, the very ones that would help them and give them wisdom, rather than turning their hearts toward them. In fact, I think that youth ministers, if they were scriptural and necessary, should be someone like Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Sherman, who have experience with youth in raising their own family. We love being around younger people and we don't like being relegated to our own age group.
I am aware that there is a movement away from youth groups, yet there are still some church groups desperately hanging on to the youth group method, insisting that they are necessary.
Anyone can do their own survey and look at the fruits of youth groups. Let us take a look at the girls, for instance:
-Are they good homemakers, able to manage a home?
-Are they helping their parents? Are their own rooms a mess? Some girls have not yet learned the habit of organization, and are out sitting in restaurants, going to movies, or at the bowling alley with the youth group.
-Do these girls learn wise use of time?
-Are they learning to be good wives?
-Can these girls care for a sick person in their home, such as an aged grandparent?
-Can they relieve their mother of the many duties of the home?
-Can they hold an intelligent conversation full of wisdom?
-While participating in the youth activitites, are they able to be different than the world, in the way they dress and act?
-Is their conversation silly?
-What do these girls in youth groups know about what God's plan for them is, as set forth in the Bible? Can they quote any scriptures pertaining to women? (Proverbs 31, or Titus 2, to name a few.)
-Do they know the names and stories of many women in the Bible? (Besides Eve, or Mary?)
_Do the ambitions of the girls in the youth group consist of becoming first and foremost a wives, then a mothers, and keepers of the home?
Now let us have a look at the young men:
- Can you look at the young men in youth groups and honestly see one as a responsible husband and father?
-Are they learning to take strong stands against the world?
-Are they dressing differently than the world?
-Are they going to the same movies as the rest of the world?
-Are they really living up to the full potential that is available to them as young men?
-Do they thoroughly know the books of I and II Timothy? Years ago, someone told my husband to read these books every month, to familiarize himself with the Christian attitudes and examples expected of a young man.
-Are the young men ernestly striving to honor their parents by exhibiting and practicing the Christian values they were taught? Are they keeping company with girls that their parents don't wholeheartedly approve of?
These lists are rather incomplete, but they may help you take a good serious look at whether or not a youth group can accomplish what God wishes for young people. If Christianity is a serious thing, then how can we encourage youth to spend so much of their time with other Christian youth sitting around in each other's houses without older people present, "hanging out" and being silly. As one person recently told me, "They are wading in shallow waters of foolishness, and if they keep on going in that direction, they'll drown." It is true that youth are incredibly frustrated these days, and unfortunately, a lot of it comes from the youth group activities--the very thing that was supposedly designed to help them be "strong in the Lord." God does not need us to develop a special youth group to help the youth. Youth needs wisdom, and wisdom cannot be attained in these groups where they are going to the latest movie, hanging around the apartments of other single people and remaining in their childhood.
Some people have admitted that, yes, homeschool families don't need youth groups, but those whose parents are dysfunctional do. I beg to differ. We should not even make such groups available to them. Those whose parents are dysfunctional can find refuge in other families that want to reach out and are looking for ways to serve. If we cover up dysfunctional families by providing artificial groups for them to function in, we won't see the need to raise up good families who will raise up other good families. Youth groups just cover up a problem rather than solve it.
I have yet to see one single achiever, inventor, strong family man, or a preacher with a thorough knowledge of the word of God, who was nurtured as a teenager in a youth group. I haven't seen good mothers or homemakers come out of the youth groups. I've never heard anyone say that a youth group was what they needed in order to know how to raise their children or how to behave in the body of Christ.
If people insist that youth groups are viable alternatives for youth, then let the youth show their faith by their works: let them take care of the elderly, help their parents, and otherwise be rich in good works. In fact, I have an assignment for your youth group. Give each of them paper and pen and ask them to list as many good works as they can. Then ask them to write down as many scriptures as they can remember. Ask them to write down the ways in which the youth group has helped them be stronger Christians, thoroughly equipped with the knowledge of the Word of God. Then, let's see just how much the youth group has taught them or benefitted them spiritually.
Whenever I see a youth group out on the town, I look with sadness, particularly on the young girls. They are wasting their time and potential. They could be making baby blankets for new mothers. They could be learning skills like knitting, sewing, cooking, care of the home, decorating, clothing design, etc.; things that will equip them for a successful marriage and family. Sitting around with youth groups in cafes and movie theatres is poor preparation for marriage.
Girls, if you are in a youth group because you hope to find a mate, you are wasting your time. Youth groups provide too much familiarity between the boys and the girls for their to be any serious spark of interest between them. They often show up in less than their best appearance, which does not endear the boys to them or vice versa. Hanging around a youth group will not get you nearer the altar.
My advice is to be aloof from this, and to provide socialization within the framework of your parents and family. Invite special ones that you like to your home and let them see the fruits of your labor. Spend your time in worthwhile accomplishments that will help you function as an adult wife and mother. Take over the house and behave as though you really were all grown up. Youth group activities will not provide the training you need nor the fellowship you need to accomplish the high calling of marriage and homemaking.
In reading some of the accounts of young ladies of the past, you'll notice that many of them were able to do adult things while still teenagers. I doubt that the pioneers coming across the Oregon Trail had much time for youth groups. The teenagers of that time were responsible men and women who accepted the roles of men and women gladly. Our modern youth groups fall far short of what young men and women need to accomplish in their distinctly male or female roles as outlined clearly in the Bible.
My first experience with a youth group was when I was in my early 20's and was invited to attend a youth group party. I was never at ease the entire evening with some of the things that went on in this group. The first thing they did is play a ridiculous game which involved getting the arms and legs of each person all tangled up with other people, until we all together looked like a giant octopus. I trusted the young minister who had organized this youth group and was sure he was about to use it as an illustration in an important spiritual concept! The game seemed more like something small children would do without trying, while struggling to reach for their own toys.
After this the group sat around and contributed complaint stories about all their problems, and in particular, their parents. The leader supposed that attending this group more often would help keep the young people in the church. I can't remember every detail of what went on, but I never attended another youth group after that one time. I just couldn't see what the purpose was. They did not study the Bible, and they did not talk about spiritual concepts, nor did they discuss useful things to do for the church or for others.
I consequently did not involve my own children in youth groups. Occasionally they were sometimes introduced to such things, through various circumstances, but I never saw that it enhanced their spirituality in any way, nor did it increase their Christian maturity. Exposure to the youth group was more likely to give my children unexplainable frustration than it was to ennoble them and give them the tools for mature living or the hope of a bright future.
I remember once a minister asked if I would take a turn hosting the youth group meeting in my home. I gladly accepted, thinking "Hmm. Meeting at the home with the family present, is a good thing!" I didn't know that I would be prompted by him to leave the room, along with the siblings of my teenage son. What was the great secret that necessitated the absence of the parents in this group? I asked about it and was informed that kids wouldn't "open up" with their problems when the parents were present. Being a homeschooler, our family was very close and loved to discuss many concepts and principles together. I was very saddenned that the youth group separated the young people from the parents, the very ones that would help them and give them wisdom, rather than turning their hearts toward them. In fact, I think that youth ministers, if they were scriptural and necessary, should be someone like Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Sherman, who have experience with youth in raising their own family. We love being around younger people and we don't like being relegated to our own age group.
I am aware that there is a movement away from youth groups, yet there are still some church groups desperately hanging on to the youth group method, insisting that they are necessary.
Anyone can do their own survey and look at the fruits of youth groups. Let us take a look at the girls, for instance:
-Are they good homemakers, able to manage a home?
-Are they helping their parents? Are their own rooms a mess? Some girls have not yet learned the habit of organization, and are out sitting in restaurants, going to movies, or at the bowling alley with the youth group.
-Do these girls learn wise use of time?
-Are they learning to be good wives?
-Can these girls care for a sick person in their home, such as an aged grandparent?
-Can they relieve their mother of the many duties of the home?
-Can they hold an intelligent conversation full of wisdom?
-While participating in the youth activitites, are they able to be different than the world, in the way they dress and act?
-Is their conversation silly?
-What do these girls in youth groups know about what God's plan for them is, as set forth in the Bible? Can they quote any scriptures pertaining to women? (Proverbs 31, or Titus 2, to name a few.)
-Do they know the names and stories of many women in the Bible? (Besides Eve, or Mary?)
_Do the ambitions of the girls in the youth group consist of becoming first and foremost a wives, then a mothers, and keepers of the home?
Now let us have a look at the young men:
- Can you look at the young men in youth groups and honestly see one as a responsible husband and father?
-Are they learning to take strong stands against the world?
-Are they dressing differently than the world?
-Are they going to the same movies as the rest of the world?
-Are they really living up to the full potential that is available to them as young men?
-Do they thoroughly know the books of I and II Timothy? Years ago, someone told my husband to read these books every month, to familiarize himself with the Christian attitudes and examples expected of a young man.
-Are the young men ernestly striving to honor their parents by exhibiting and practicing the Christian values they were taught? Are they keeping company with girls that their parents don't wholeheartedly approve of?
These lists are rather incomplete, but they may help you take a good serious look at whether or not a youth group can accomplish what God wishes for young people. If Christianity is a serious thing, then how can we encourage youth to spend so much of their time with other Christian youth sitting around in each other's houses without older people present, "hanging out" and being silly. As one person recently told me, "They are wading in shallow waters of foolishness, and if they keep on going in that direction, they'll drown." It is true that youth are incredibly frustrated these days, and unfortunately, a lot of it comes from the youth group activities--the very thing that was supposedly designed to help them be "strong in the Lord." God does not need us to develop a special youth group to help the youth. Youth needs wisdom, and wisdom cannot be attained in these groups where they are going to the latest movie, hanging around the apartments of other single people and remaining in their childhood.
Some people have admitted that, yes, homeschool families don't need youth groups, but those whose parents are dysfunctional do. I beg to differ. We should not even make such groups available to them. Those whose parents are dysfunctional can find refuge in other families that want to reach out and are looking for ways to serve. If we cover up dysfunctional families by providing artificial groups for them to function in, we won't see the need to raise up good families who will raise up other good families. Youth groups just cover up a problem rather than solve it.
I have yet to see one single achiever, inventor, strong family man, or a preacher with a thorough knowledge of the word of God, who was nurtured as a teenager in a youth group. I haven't seen good mothers or homemakers come out of the youth groups. I've never heard anyone say that a youth group was what they needed in order to know how to raise their children or how to behave in the body of Christ.
If people insist that youth groups are viable alternatives for youth, then let the youth show their faith by their works: let them take care of the elderly, help their parents, and otherwise be rich in good works. In fact, I have an assignment for your youth group. Give each of them paper and pen and ask them to list as many good works as they can. Then ask them to write down as many scriptures as they can remember. Ask them to write down the ways in which the youth group has helped them be stronger Christians, thoroughly equipped with the knowledge of the Word of God. Then, let's see just how much the youth group has taught them or benefitted them spiritually.
Whenever I see a youth group out on the town, I look with sadness, particularly on the young girls. They are wasting their time and potential. They could be making baby blankets for new mothers. They could be learning skills like knitting, sewing, cooking, care of the home, decorating, clothing design, etc.; things that will equip them for a successful marriage and family. Sitting around with youth groups in cafes and movie theatres is poor preparation for marriage.
Girls, if you are in a youth group because you hope to find a mate, you are wasting your time. Youth groups provide too much familiarity between the boys and the girls for their to be any serious spark of interest between them. They often show up in less than their best appearance, which does not endear the boys to them or vice versa. Hanging around a youth group will not get you nearer the altar.
My advice is to be aloof from this, and to provide socialization within the framework of your parents and family. Invite special ones that you like to your home and let them see the fruits of your labor. Spend your time in worthwhile accomplishments that will help you function as an adult wife and mother. Take over the house and behave as though you really were all grown up. Youth group activities will not provide the training you need nor the fellowship you need to accomplish the high calling of marriage and homemaking.
In reading some of the accounts of young ladies of the past, you'll notice that many of them were able to do adult things while still teenagers. I doubt that the pioneers coming across the Oregon Trail had much time for youth groups. The teenagers of that time were responsible men and women who accepted the roles of men and women gladly. Our modern youth groups fall far short of what young men and women need to accomplish in their distinctly male or female roles as outlined clearly in the Bible.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Catching Up At Home
Everyone gets overwhelmed with the work of the home. Discouragement sets in and it makes makes matters even worse. Tiredness, illness, busy-ness, and unexpected interference, can cause us to get behind in things, until the only thing we want to do is run away. I've noticed that the women who love their homes and want to stay in them, are women who are clean and organized.
I recently visited the home of a young woman, and I was very impressed with her care of the house. She greeted us as though she were expecting important dignitaries, in her long skirt and lovely blouse, upswept hair, and healthy looking face. As she showed us around her house, I noticed that everything had a purpose for being there. Her papers were hidden inside a roll top desk near her phone. Her kitchen was immaculate, even though I could smell the savory scent of dinner in the oven. She was genuinely happy in her home., but I knew her before she had this home, and lived only in a small, run-down trailer. Inside, her home then had exactly the same atmosphere: neatness, order, and cleanliness reigned.
The Bible says, "He who is faithful in little, will be faithful in much." (Luke 16:10) The habits she had formed of making this tiny, poor place neat and clean, helped her take care of the bigger home which she was to live in years later.
Many women are using the inconveniences they face (no dishwasher, no convenient laundry room, no modern appliances, chipped kitchen cabinets and old carpets) as excuses to create discouragement and neglect. This woman was a conscientious and diligent housekeeper long before she moved into the fine house. In the older home, she managed to incorporate the poor workmanship of floors and cabinets, into her homemaking, and do it beautifully.
I once visited a young woman in Washington state, who lived in a house that was lent her by her grandmother. It was old and worn, and there was no plush carpet on the floor. She had no dishwasher and no dryer. She had only enough income for the bare essentials, yet inside, I noticed the threadbare towels neatly folded in one direction and stacked on a shelf. She had not let her lack of "things" and conveniences discourage her. Folding those mismatched, worn out towels, gave her a sense of order and dignity, and brought order to her life. Although she had children, the house was not strewn with toys and clothes. I wish I could show you a picture of this dismal looking house that she had made orderly and clean.
In the early days of homesteading in Alaska, many families lived in tents until their houses could be built. Building a house took a lot longer, because the parents had to go into the nearby forests of their property and cut trees to make logs. Inside the tents, we had to be neat and orderly. Beds were rolled up in the day time in order to use them as seats. Our mothers even swept the canvas that served as floors. There were only a few dishes, and so the idea of them "stacking up to the ceiling" would have been ludicrous, for there was only one cup and one plate for each person. If mother got a bit behind on this, she would turn the plate upside down and serve dinner on the other side. After that, she simply had to wash them, but she often recruited one of her children to do it, while she did other tasks.
If we neglect the basic elements of homemaking (dishes, laundry, clutter, cleanliness and order) , we end up in a vicious cycle, where piled up dishes and laundry make us feel discouraged, and discouragement makes us neglect the tasks at hand that make a house beautiful. When my children were growing up, they learned an important phrase, "Perspiration adds to appreciation." In other words, if they had to clean up something, they would be more protective of that particular area or thing, and not want it easily messed up. They were more likely to guard the home, if they had to clean it up. We are the same. If we have to keep up with the dishes, we will be more careful not to use them and leave them laying about in the kitchen. We'll be more particular about using a clean glass everytime someone gets a drink. (A Dixie cup dispenser is the best thing for that). If a child makes a mess and has to clean it up, he won't be so careless about making the same mess again. (That is, if the mother consistently makes him pick it up each time).
I knew a woman with four daughters. Every month the housework was divided between the girls. One would take the living room, one the bathroom, and so forth. During that time, the girls owned the room they looked after. You can believe they took very good care of the room they owned, as they cleaned and decorated and arranged it all themselves. They were a lot more careful about how that room was treated. Homemaking is a lot like playing house. It has to be done cheerfully and creatively.
We can understand how to learn new habits when it comes to something like piano playing or crochet classes, but somehow, we cannot translate that to home life. Learn, practice, learn some more, and practice, and soon, you are doing a job that at first was insurmountable.
Everyone gets behind sometimes because of a rushed life. If this is happening to you, one suggestion I have is to clear your calendar of appointments and obligations for a week. Send someone else to the store for groceries, and decline to get in the car at all. Spend the week getting your house back into shape. If you have gotten way beyond this, you can hire someone to come in and give you a jumpstart by catching you up on everything. After they leave, do not let one single thing sit where it doesn't belong, for more than a few minutes. Walk around the house occasionally and scout for things that do not belong. Make children take all their belongings to their own rooms. Pick up your own things and put them where they belong. Clear the tables after you've had homeschooling or crafts, and neatly deposit everything in their assigned places.
The only way a person who has had a problem with housekeeping can recover, is to become a fanatic for while, until better habits are formed. Keep the laundry caught up and put away, by doing a load a day. Keep the dishes done up after every meal and inbetween. Learn to cook with fewer pots and pans, and to mix things using fewer utinsels. For example, you can measure your dry ingredients in a large measuring pitcher, first, and use the same container for the wet ingredients next. Instead of reaching for a new bowl to mix something in, look in the dishpan and wash the one that has been used.
One extremely helpful course I took was called "Sidetracked Home Executives." The authors, who called themselves "slob sisters" had taught themselves new habits by making rules for themselves and sticking by them. Some of these rules were:
Don't start the day without getting dressed.
Pick it up, don't pass it up.
Put things away as you go, rather than waiting for a cleaning day.
Don't leave the house until it is cleaned up.
I understand that there are some places on the web that send you emails daily to help you get started pulling yourself out of the accuulated mess, who have adopted the S.H.E. principles. Like the slob sisters, many women have had good mothers who were organized and clean and ran the home with great efficiency. However, many of that next generation spent most of their waking hours in schools and other institutions, rather than watching the habits of their mothers at home.
Although their mothers were proficient homemakers, they were not able to pass on the habits to their daughters. My own mother had a wonderful garden, but I was so busy with homework and school, that I arrived home way past the time that I would have been with her out in the garden watching what she did. I consequently was not automatically a good gardner.
The same applies to working inside the home to make it beautiful and orderly, and a place where you delight in staying. You've got to stay in it and work at it. Put on some nice music, spray a fresh scent into the air, and go to it. After all the hard labor, get a bath, dress up, and present your family with an orderly meal.
You'll find the fussing and aggravation levels of your children go way down, once neatness and cleanliness are emphasised in the home.
We can change our ways. We can be determined, we can learn new things, and we can submit ourselves to the tasks before us.
I'll leave one small hint that helps me a lot. When I open a cabinet or drawer, or even the fridge, to get something or put something away, I look it over and if anything is out of place, I quickly straighten it. I never just get a glass and close the door. I always get a glass and then adjust something in the cabinet. Or, I use a spice and put it back, while re-grouping the spice area, and maybe wiping the inside where some things have been spilled.
I launder my dishtowels and kitchen things by themselves in a load of wash, so that if I do not have time, I can simply take the entire load from the dryer and put it in a drawer. If I get around to folding them, I feel good, but at least they are in the drawer and pre-sorted by this method.
When I am sewing, I will take breaks and clean up the area I'm in, folding patterns and putting them away, clearing the sewing area, and making a place for me to work.
You may not need any of these hints, but they may give you an idea of things you can do to make living at home desireable rather than miserable.
I recently visited the home of a young woman, and I was very impressed with her care of the house. She greeted us as though she were expecting important dignitaries, in her long skirt and lovely blouse, upswept hair, and healthy looking face. As she showed us around her house, I noticed that everything had a purpose for being there. Her papers were hidden inside a roll top desk near her phone. Her kitchen was immaculate, even though I could smell the savory scent of dinner in the oven. She was genuinely happy in her home., but I knew her before she had this home, and lived only in a small, run-down trailer. Inside, her home then had exactly the same atmosphere: neatness, order, and cleanliness reigned.
The Bible says, "He who is faithful in little, will be faithful in much." (Luke 16:10) The habits she had formed of making this tiny, poor place neat and clean, helped her take care of the bigger home which she was to live in years later.
Many women are using the inconveniences they face (no dishwasher, no convenient laundry room, no modern appliances, chipped kitchen cabinets and old carpets) as excuses to create discouragement and neglect. This woman was a conscientious and diligent housekeeper long before she moved into the fine house. In the older home, she managed to incorporate the poor workmanship of floors and cabinets, into her homemaking, and do it beautifully.
I once visited a young woman in Washington state, who lived in a house that was lent her by her grandmother. It was old and worn, and there was no plush carpet on the floor. She had no dishwasher and no dryer. She had only enough income for the bare essentials, yet inside, I noticed the threadbare towels neatly folded in one direction and stacked on a shelf. She had not let her lack of "things" and conveniences discourage her. Folding those mismatched, worn out towels, gave her a sense of order and dignity, and brought order to her life. Although she had children, the house was not strewn with toys and clothes. I wish I could show you a picture of this dismal looking house that she had made orderly and clean.
In the early days of homesteading in Alaska, many families lived in tents until their houses could be built. Building a house took a lot longer, because the parents had to go into the nearby forests of their property and cut trees to make logs. Inside the tents, we had to be neat and orderly. Beds were rolled up in the day time in order to use them as seats. Our mothers even swept the canvas that served as floors. There were only a few dishes, and so the idea of them "stacking up to the ceiling" would have been ludicrous, for there was only one cup and one plate for each person. If mother got a bit behind on this, she would turn the plate upside down and serve dinner on the other side. After that, she simply had to wash them, but she often recruited one of her children to do it, while she did other tasks.
If we neglect the basic elements of homemaking (dishes, laundry, clutter, cleanliness and order) , we end up in a vicious cycle, where piled up dishes and laundry make us feel discouraged, and discouragement makes us neglect the tasks at hand that make a house beautiful. When my children were growing up, they learned an important phrase, "Perspiration adds to appreciation." In other words, if they had to clean up something, they would be more protective of that particular area or thing, and not want it easily messed up. They were more likely to guard the home, if they had to clean it up. We are the same. If we have to keep up with the dishes, we will be more careful not to use them and leave them laying about in the kitchen. We'll be more particular about using a clean glass everytime someone gets a drink. (A Dixie cup dispenser is the best thing for that). If a child makes a mess and has to clean it up, he won't be so careless about making the same mess again. (That is, if the mother consistently makes him pick it up each time).
I knew a woman with four daughters. Every month the housework was divided between the girls. One would take the living room, one the bathroom, and so forth. During that time, the girls owned the room they looked after. You can believe they took very good care of the room they owned, as they cleaned and decorated and arranged it all themselves. They were a lot more careful about how that room was treated. Homemaking is a lot like playing house. It has to be done cheerfully and creatively.
We can understand how to learn new habits when it comes to something like piano playing or crochet classes, but somehow, we cannot translate that to home life. Learn, practice, learn some more, and practice, and soon, you are doing a job that at first was insurmountable.
Everyone gets behind sometimes because of a rushed life. If this is happening to you, one suggestion I have is to clear your calendar of appointments and obligations for a week. Send someone else to the store for groceries, and decline to get in the car at all. Spend the week getting your house back into shape. If you have gotten way beyond this, you can hire someone to come in and give you a jumpstart by catching you up on everything. After they leave, do not let one single thing sit where it doesn't belong, for more than a few minutes. Walk around the house occasionally and scout for things that do not belong. Make children take all their belongings to their own rooms. Pick up your own things and put them where they belong. Clear the tables after you've had homeschooling or crafts, and neatly deposit everything in their assigned places.
The only way a person who has had a problem with housekeeping can recover, is to become a fanatic for while, until better habits are formed. Keep the laundry caught up and put away, by doing a load a day. Keep the dishes done up after every meal and inbetween. Learn to cook with fewer pots and pans, and to mix things using fewer utinsels. For example, you can measure your dry ingredients in a large measuring pitcher, first, and use the same container for the wet ingredients next. Instead of reaching for a new bowl to mix something in, look in the dishpan and wash the one that has been used.
One extremely helpful course I took was called "Sidetracked Home Executives." The authors, who called themselves "slob sisters" had taught themselves new habits by making rules for themselves and sticking by them. Some of these rules were:
Don't start the day without getting dressed.
Pick it up, don't pass it up.
Put things away as you go, rather than waiting for a cleaning day.
Don't leave the house until it is cleaned up.
I understand that there are some places on the web that send you emails daily to help you get started pulling yourself out of the accuulated mess, who have adopted the S.H.E. principles. Like the slob sisters, many women have had good mothers who were organized and clean and ran the home with great efficiency. However, many of that next generation spent most of their waking hours in schools and other institutions, rather than watching the habits of their mothers at home.
Although their mothers were proficient homemakers, they were not able to pass on the habits to their daughters. My own mother had a wonderful garden, but I was so busy with homework and school, that I arrived home way past the time that I would have been with her out in the garden watching what she did. I consequently was not automatically a good gardner.
The same applies to working inside the home to make it beautiful and orderly, and a place where you delight in staying. You've got to stay in it and work at it. Put on some nice music, spray a fresh scent into the air, and go to it. After all the hard labor, get a bath, dress up, and present your family with an orderly meal.
You'll find the fussing and aggravation levels of your children go way down, once neatness and cleanliness are emphasised in the home.
We can change our ways. We can be determined, we can learn new things, and we can submit ourselves to the tasks before us.
I'll leave one small hint that helps me a lot. When I open a cabinet or drawer, or even the fridge, to get something or put something away, I look it over and if anything is out of place, I quickly straighten it. I never just get a glass and close the door. I always get a glass and then adjust something in the cabinet. Or, I use a spice and put it back, while re-grouping the spice area, and maybe wiping the inside where some things have been spilled.
I launder my dishtowels and kitchen things by themselves in a load of wash, so that if I do not have time, I can simply take the entire load from the dryer and put it in a drawer. If I get around to folding them, I feel good, but at least they are in the drawer and pre-sorted by this method.
When I am sewing, I will take breaks and clean up the area I'm in, folding patterns and putting them away, clearing the sewing area, and making a place for me to work.
You may not need any of these hints, but they may give you an idea of things you can do to make living at home desireable rather than miserable.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Afternoon Tea
Since the late 70's and early 1980's, the custom of Afternoon Tea has swept across America. There is hardly
a town that does not have a place to have a proper tea. What has been the reason for this surge in interest in Afternoon Tea? One only has to attend one, in order to know they want to continue this custom. If you'd like to start the custom of tea in your own home, then start by attending as many teas as you can, both commercially and at the homes of other people. From this, you can get an idea of how to make your own custom of tea a unique experience that is custom made to your own preferences.
Separate your planning into three areas: food, settings, and decor.
Food: - Generally, three things will do, but when you are wanting to go all out and provide a "big bash" for someone, a high tea allows many different things. Crustless sandwiches, scones, and a special sweet such as a high quality chocolate or gourmet cookie, will suffice for a regular afternoon tea. For other menus, check here:http://www.swannteas.com/planningtps.html
If you are interested in the history of tea, go here:
http://www.panix.com/~kendra/tea/afternoon_tea.html and here http://www.theteahouse.com/topics.htm.
For the correct manner in which to eat a scone, go here http://www.catteacorner.com/teadigest2.htm and scroll down to "other misconceptions about Tea."
For the setting, consider using every tea cup and saucer you have in the house, rather than going out and buying new ones. If you can afford it, than go to it and buy the best you can and the style that inspires and delights you the most. The guests will be thoroughly uplifted and pleased when presented with dainty cups of your choice. Part of the attraction of Afternoon Tea is the way it is presented on the table, with the choice of cups, serving pieces and utinsels.
Now is the time to use all those things that are not used daily, such as the cake server, the over-the-cup tea strainers, and the thin tea cups your grandmother left you. When I was a little girl, these cups and things were only used for "show" in a glass cabinet, and I never heard of anyone using them. It is good to see so many beautiful pieces on the market now. For a look at different tea sets, go here: http://www.someplaceintime.com/ You can also sign up for their seasonal newsletter which usually includes a tea menu. This site has some interesting things about tea parties http://www.nanapearls.com/teaparties.php This one has a tea service, and can actually send a box of foods and tea things to help you put on a tea yourself. I think that is a great idea for the frazzled lady who just has too much going on! This would be a good enterprise and ministry for some of the older homeschool families, particularly the girls. My sons did serve tea when they were teenagers, though, and enjoyed it very much!
Decor requires special touches that make people feel festive. Things like streamers, balloons, flowers, and candles can help create the kind of atmosphere you want. A small indoor fountain, battery operated is nice on a side table, as the sound of a gurgling brook is very therapeutic and relaxing.
The most important thing is that you get that water to a boil, and make sure it is hot enough to "cook" the tea bag and make the tea leaves expand so that the flavor comes out. There is nothing worse than a poorly made, tepid cup of tea. Allow tea to sit in the teapot and "steep" for five minutes before pouring. (The metal tea "kettle" is the thing you use to boil the water. You then pour it into the tea "pot" --in case you were confused.) The kettle is the one that whistles when the water boils, but sometimes you can get tea pots that play a tune when you pour them.
Guests should be greeted with smiles and enthusiasm and then made to sit comfortably at the place you choose for them or the place of their choice, if that is what you, the hostess, arranges.
The Tea Ceremony has an amazing atmosphere of both formality and friendliness. Usually, people talk a lot and enjoy each other's company at Tea more than any other time. One joy in the matter is that the hostess is using her best china and accessories for an ordinary occasion. In doing so, she is treating her family or guests like royalty. Children who experience Tea often while they are growing up, gain appreciation and refinement in their lives. Most people say they lack friends to have over for tea, but if they'll just look at what they do have, they'll find good company in their own children.
All you have to do in order to see how popular tea parties are, is type in various words like "tea, tea party, tea and scones, " on the web and you'll be astonished at how many sites appear. I hope this trend truly stays put for awhile, and not disappears like it did in the middle of the 20th century, because it brings families close together and provides hospitality for church friends and relatives that is easily put together. I remember a time when all that fine china was kept behind glass doors, and no one used it. Since these people, now passed on, couldn't take it with them, these items ended up in estate sales and antique shops. Happily, many people are rescuing these lovely vessels and serving hot teas and herbal tea infusions in them.
a town that does not have a place to have a proper tea. What has been the reason for this surge in interest in Afternoon Tea? One only has to attend one, in order to know they want to continue this custom. If you'd like to start the custom of tea in your own home, then start by attending as many teas as you can, both commercially and at the homes of other people. From this, you can get an idea of how to make your own custom of tea a unique experience that is custom made to your own preferences.
Separate your planning into three areas: food, settings, and decor.
Food: - Generally, three things will do, but when you are wanting to go all out and provide a "big bash" for someone, a high tea allows many different things. Crustless sandwiches, scones, and a special sweet such as a high quality chocolate or gourmet cookie, will suffice for a regular afternoon tea. For other menus, check here:http://www.swannteas.com/planningtps.html
If you are interested in the history of tea, go here:
http://www.panix.com/~kendra/tea/afternoon_tea.html and here http://www.theteahouse.com/topics.htm.
For the correct manner in which to eat a scone, go here http://www.catteacorner.com/teadigest2.htm and scroll down to "other misconceptions about Tea."
For the setting, consider using every tea cup and saucer you have in the house, rather than going out and buying new ones. If you can afford it, than go to it and buy the best you can and the style that inspires and delights you the most. The guests will be thoroughly uplifted and pleased when presented with dainty cups of your choice. Part of the attraction of Afternoon Tea is the way it is presented on the table, with the choice of cups, serving pieces and utinsels.
Now is the time to use all those things that are not used daily, such as the cake server, the over-the-cup tea strainers, and the thin tea cups your grandmother left you. When I was a little girl, these cups and things were only used for "show" in a glass cabinet, and I never heard of anyone using them. It is good to see so many beautiful pieces on the market now. For a look at different tea sets, go here: http://www.someplaceintime.com/ You can also sign up for their seasonal newsletter which usually includes a tea menu. This site has some interesting things about tea parties http://www.nanapearls.com/teaparties.php This one has a tea service, and can actually send a box of foods and tea things to help you put on a tea yourself. I think that is a great idea for the frazzled lady who just has too much going on! This would be a good enterprise and ministry for some of the older homeschool families, particularly the girls. My sons did serve tea when they were teenagers, though, and enjoyed it very much!
Decor requires special touches that make people feel festive. Things like streamers, balloons, flowers, and candles can help create the kind of atmosphere you want. A small indoor fountain, battery operated is nice on a side table, as the sound of a gurgling brook is very therapeutic and relaxing.
The most important thing is that you get that water to a boil, and make sure it is hot enough to "cook" the tea bag and make the tea leaves expand so that the flavor comes out. There is nothing worse than a poorly made, tepid cup of tea. Allow tea to sit in the teapot and "steep" for five minutes before pouring. (The metal tea "kettle" is the thing you use to boil the water. You then pour it into the tea "pot" --in case you were confused.) The kettle is the one that whistles when the water boils, but sometimes you can get tea pots that play a tune when you pour them.
Guests should be greeted with smiles and enthusiasm and then made to sit comfortably at the place you choose for them or the place of their choice, if that is what you, the hostess, arranges.
The Tea Ceremony has an amazing atmosphere of both formality and friendliness. Usually, people talk a lot and enjoy each other's company at Tea more than any other time. One joy in the matter is that the hostess is using her best china and accessories for an ordinary occasion. In doing so, she is treating her family or guests like royalty. Children who experience Tea often while they are growing up, gain appreciation and refinement in their lives. Most people say they lack friends to have over for tea, but if they'll just look at what they do have, they'll find good company in their own children.
All you have to do in order to see how popular tea parties are, is type in various words like "tea, tea party, tea and scones, " on the web and you'll be astonished at how many sites appear. I hope this trend truly stays put for awhile, and not disappears like it did in the middle of the 20th century, because it brings families close together and provides hospitality for church friends and relatives that is easily put together. I remember a time when all that fine china was kept behind glass doors, and no one used it. Since these people, now passed on, couldn't take it with them, these items ended up in estate sales and antique shops. Happily, many people are rescuing these lovely vessels and serving hot teas and herbal tea infusions in them.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
The Homemaker of the 1800's
Contrary to popular modern myth, the homemakers of the 1800's had tremendous power. They controlled the direction of the family and often the success of the men, by the manner in which they conducted the home life and homemaking. A woman who practiced thrift and good management, did so partly because she knew it would help her husband be more successful at work, and make him more prosperous at home.
The homemakers of the 1800's thought it was scandalous if a woman left her home and her children in the care of others, because the influence of the wife and mother was keenly felt, and very important. When the so-called "Women's Libbers" came on the scene, the homemakers in general laughed them to scorn, for their backwards attempt at reconstructing the family and society by getting women out of their natural female role that since the beginning of time had suited women just fine. Queen Victoria herself said that the feminists "ought to get a good whipping," stating that if women left their roles of wives and mothers, men would no longer feel the obligation to take care of them.
There never has been such a large population of single mothers, displaced homemakers, or broken homes. The downfall of the family unit (father and mother, children, husband and wife) contributes to the downfall of the nation. The strength of a nation depends on the strength of the home. This may be hard for people today, some who have never seen very many strong families, to understand. Families that love each other and do not "break up" are families that can not be led astray by false teachings and false "liberators," and families that will not abandon their noble purpose in life for riotous living.
There are some things the homemakers of the past have left that we can look into to get a glimpse of their character. For example, their textiles (needlework, sewing and crafts), their art, diaries, scrapbooks, letters, household utinsels, furniture, dinnerware, and houses. The design and space of these homes give us clues about their manner of life. Many a person who has restored an old house of the 1800's has stated that they have felt a kind of contentment and inspiration while living in these old homes.
The homemakers of the past didn't just live for their own pleasures of the day, but thought about how their actions would affect future generations. They knew that the memory of themselves in their descendents could influence them for the better. It was considered shameful for a woman to be a slothful homemaker. However, the homemaker of those times was not worn to a frazzle running around in a car all day, or over-extended on appointments and social engagements. They had more time to do their work, and were not concerned about so many of the things that women stress over today.
The homemakers of the 1800's thought it was scandalous if a woman left her home and her children in the care of others, because the influence of the wife and mother was keenly felt, and very important. When the so-called "Women's Libbers" came on the scene, the homemakers in general laughed them to scorn, for their backwards attempt at reconstructing the family and society by getting women out of their natural female role that since the beginning of time had suited women just fine. Queen Victoria herself said that the feminists "ought to get a good whipping," stating that if women left their roles of wives and mothers, men would no longer feel the obligation to take care of them.
There never has been such a large population of single mothers, displaced homemakers, or broken homes. The downfall of the family unit (father and mother, children, husband and wife) contributes to the downfall of the nation. The strength of a nation depends on the strength of the home. This may be hard for people today, some who have never seen very many strong families, to understand. Families that love each other and do not "break up" are families that can not be led astray by false teachings and false "liberators," and families that will not abandon their noble purpose in life for riotous living.
There are some things the homemakers of the past have left that we can look into to get a glimpse of their character. For example, their textiles (needlework, sewing and crafts), their art, diaries, scrapbooks, letters, household utinsels, furniture, dinnerware, and houses. The design and space of these homes give us clues about their manner of life. Many a person who has restored an old house of the 1800's has stated that they have felt a kind of contentment and inspiration while living in these old homes.
The homemakers of the past didn't just live for their own pleasures of the day, but thought about how their actions would affect future generations. They knew that the memory of themselves in their descendents could influence them for the better. It was considered shameful for a woman to be a slothful homemaker. However, the homemaker of those times was not worn to a frazzle running around in a car all day, or over-extended on appointments and social engagements. They had more time to do their work, and were not concerned about so many of the things that women stress over today.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Making the Best of Things
.jpg)
Sunny Corner by Susan RiosI've gotten several feedback letters that indicate that people of certain economic levels cannot possibly reach the high calling of homemaking. These girls claim that because their people didn't have a good economic start, and weren't born with an inheritance, or didn't have rich parents, they cannot do anything with their lives. They are waiting for someone to compensate them for all these wrongs, and in the meantime, are wasting precious moments wallowing in self pity.
I am not a rich person, have no personal income, do not live in a home of my own, and my ancestors left nothing for me to work with except good character. I had no inheritance, as my forebearers often did not live in more than shacks which eventually crumbled with time. We aren't who we are because of the material or educational opportunites that someone gave us, but because of certain character qualities we attain by learning and practice.
Many people are searching for some peace in there lives, and others are waiting for someone to rescue them out of their troubles or their non-lives. Character is the only thing that matters in life, for it will determine what you do, how you respond, how you live your life daily, and your attitudes. No matter what your financial circumstances, you can develop in many other ways by discovering talents and abilities, that will take you far in life. If you feel you have nothing there, try just plain hard work. Many a poor person has begun working hard at a restaurant and later ended up owning the place.
Our attitude about our circumstances should not be based on the thinking that someone owes us a living, or that we should be given something, or that we deserve anything. We are all here by God's grace, and our lives can be snuffed out at any given moment. Thinking that someone should give us something is selfish thinking. Turn your thinking around to a giving mode, and give something to someone else, instead, and you'll see your life changing. If you haven't got anything, there are still things you can give away: a smile, a parking space, give way and let others walk past, let traffic in, give your place in a line, give up your seat in a crowded area, give pleasant words, give compliments, write nice letters, build others up and praise them, etc. Saying you have nothing to give is not acceptable, because everyone has something they can give away.
My husband and I once visted a tiny village in Rhodesia in the early 70's. A young couple invited us to eat with them in their grass shack. Inside, though the floor was made of packed dirt, it was as neat as could be and not one speck of dust. The woman was immaculately dressed, and very clean. Her food was cooked over a tiny burner but she made a delicious meal, and she smiled a lot. Her service was immensely gracious and her husband also adored her and was anxious to make their guest comfortable. Although she was not rich, this woman was a diligent homemaker. Contrast this to another woman in the same village, who did not clean and tidy her house. Rags and old papers were strewn everywhere and her children were dirty. In that village was a water supply for everyone, easily accessible, yet one woman used it and one did not. This is a matter of character, not of money or privilege in life.
The world is full of stories about people who brought themselves out of nothing and made a good living, invented something, or raised up a good family. Education doesn't matter, and neither does money. While some of it is necessary, both the need for education and money are blown far out of proportion. Education comes from the willingness to learn, and if you are a learner, you can learn from anything, and not be limited to educational establishments. The education in those places is not thorough and does not equip you for life and godliness.
It doesn't matter what our race or our economic situation: there is not one of us that cannot, by following the principles of the Bible, become good homemakers. The diligence described in Proverbs 31 applies to people of all kinds, not just some privileged person. Anyone can be neat, tidy, industrious, productive, diligent, good, kind, wise, loving, honest, and thrifty. Character qualities like self control and selflessness are highly prized. All of us are commanded to be servants. The attitude of service is the element that will make us successful in life; not money or privilege.
Color's Effect in the Home
After learning a bit about the effect of color on the mood of a person, I discovered why certain places I lived seemed to make me anxious, sad, lonely or depressed. In the 60's, when orange, gold and greens were all the rage in decorating materials (you could hardly get anything else), my home was furnished in these colors.
I read that commercially, certain companies would use certain colors for their products and restaurants, based on the effect it had on customers. If they wanted customers to linger, they would decorate in certain colors. If they wanted people to buy on impulse, another set of colors was used. Advertisements are full of "selling" colors. Hospital rooms now are decorated in colors intended to calm and soothe the patients.
I remember one home I lived where I woke up feeling anxious and went to be feeling anxious. I discovered certain activities where I was not anxious, and began to observe the elements of these activities: color, sound, scent, touch, sight, and weather. I found that the weather did nto matter so much if the interior of the home contained the kinds of colors that made me feel reassurred and happy. Since then, I've been more aware of how color affects the mood of people in the home. I wrote a little about this in an article on the Lady Lydia Speaks section of www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com called "Color in the Home," but there is much more too it than color. There are also many other things we need to pay more attention to in order to make the home more appealing. Flickering candlelight, soft music, and good smells from the kitchen must be combined with the kinds of colors that you like, to give the home the overall feeling of love and comfort.
I read that commercially, certain companies would use certain colors for their products and restaurants, based on the effect it had on customers. If they wanted customers to linger, they would decorate in certain colors. If they wanted people to buy on impulse, another set of colors was used. Advertisements are full of "selling" colors. Hospital rooms now are decorated in colors intended to calm and soothe the patients.
I remember one home I lived where I woke up feeling anxious and went to be feeling anxious. I discovered certain activities where I was not anxious, and began to observe the elements of these activities: color, sound, scent, touch, sight, and weather. I found that the weather did nto matter so much if the interior of the home contained the kinds of colors that made me feel reassurred and happy. Since then, I've been more aware of how color affects the mood of people in the home. I wrote a little about this in an article on the Lady Lydia Speaks section of www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com called "Color in the Home," but there is much more too it than color. There are also many other things we need to pay more attention to in order to make the home more appealing. Flickering candlelight, soft music, and good smells from the kitchen must be combined with the kinds of colors that you like, to give the home the overall feeling of love and comfort.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)