Deu 6:4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:
Deu 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deu 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deu 6:8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
Deu 6:9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deu 6:10 And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,
Deu 6:11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;
Deu 6:12 Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
Deu 6:13 Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.
Deu 6:14 Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;
Deu 6:15 (For the LORD thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth.
Deu 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.
Deu 6:17 Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee.
Deu 6:18 And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers...
Discipleship is a way of life not just a 30 minute family bible hour - nor can you pass on a way of life on the weekends - its not something the Sunday-school teacher can do. The way to pass on a way of life is to share a way of life - when you sit in your house; when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise. It takes time to pass on a way of life - and time is so hard to come by; but if you won't take the time, there are people who will.
Allow me to introduce you to John Dewey.
John Dewey is known as the father of Progressive Education. He wrote that teachers needed to counteract the influence of the home and the church on children, which he said produced children who were too individualistic and not socialistic enough. He put farm families under particular suspicion because their children were often rugged individuals that the state had a hard time re-educating to be socialists. He is one of the original signers of the Humanist Manifesto, which denies God, creation, the soul, the sacred, and life after death, among other things. It requires religions be "reconstituted as rapidly as experience allows" to suit the Humanist agenda. It also requires that all human associations must be controlled to conform to the humanist manifesto.
He went to the Soviet Union and wrote back glowing reports of what he saw. He admired their efforts to dismantle the traditional family and use schools to indoctrinate children to think of themselves as belonging to the state -- bragging that schools were "the ideological arm of the revolution."
He attained international influence over China, India, Russia and the United States, insisting that schools become the tools of a new socialist agenda. The National Education Association - which works out his legacy today, made John Dewey their honorary president. Education as we know it today, remains the legacy of this man who hated the traditional family and hated the church, and who passionately fought for the right to make children the property of a new socialist state which was his idea of heaven on earth.
He wrote :
"I believe that ...the teacher always is the prophet of the true god and the usherer in of the true kingdom of god. "
One of his ilk wrote,
The Bible is not merely another book, an outmoded and archaic book, or even an extremely influential book; it has and remains an incredibly dangerous book. It and the various Christian churches which are parasitic upon it have been directly responsible for most of the wars, persecutions, and outrages which humankind has perpetrated upon itself over the past two thousand years. I am convinced that the battle for humankind’s future must be waged and won in the public classroom by teachers who correctly perceive their role as the proselytizers of a new faith…These teachers must embody the same dedication as the most rabid fundamentalist preachers, for they will be ministers of another sort, utilizing a classroom instead of a pulpit to convey humanist values in whatever subject they teach…The classroom must and will become an arena of conflict between the old and the new—the rotting corpse of Christianity, together with all its adjacent evils and misery, and the new faith of humanism, " John Dunphy (The Humanist magazine, Jan/Feb 1983)
There is a reason that we have lived through a century of war in the schools.
There is a reason that the National Education Association advocates things that have nothing to do with reading writing or arithmetic.
There is a reason that the NEA demands children be trained to accept homosexuality and homosexual marriage. There is a reason that the NEA demands that children be indoctrinated to accept condoms, promiscuity and abortion rights as part of life.
There is a reason that the NEA demands funding to take children from the home at earlier and earlier ages -- now even from infancy, all the way through age 18, for eight hours or more every day. They are making disciples for a way of life; for their own atheistic Kingdom of God. It is a way of life for which their founding fathers passionately fought.
Why is it that the church is losing so many young people?
Because the one who makes the disciples gets to keep the disciples.
And the one making disciples is the one who has the children all day long, from infancy to adulthood. So who is really serious about making disciples?
Let's do the math:: two hours a week on Sunday, plus family bible hour every night - and you're up to nine hours a week of discipleship for Jesus.
Compare that to forty hours a week by the NEA.
Close to 20,000 hours of indoctrination by the time children are 18.
Parents say, "He left home and just fell away from his faith."
Could it be possible that he left home
and realized what he was really being trained to believe all along?
Perhaps he left home and his real training - his real discipleship kicked in.
I know time is hard to come by. Perhaps you say, "I would love to spend more time with my children, but how can I do it?" I don't have the answer for that. All I have is certain knowledge that if you fail to take the time with your children, if you fail to pass on your way of life to your children, there are others who will use your children to pass on their way of life.
The one who makes the disciples gets to keep them.
A man cannot serve two masters, the Lord warned.
Living by what John Dewey taught makes Children disciples of a New World Order.
Now I know that you all know nice teachers who are trying to do their best - I do too.
But I'm talking about the larger war.
You may know a nice school teacher;
but the larger effort to dismantle the traditional family is not so nice.
The staff trainings on homosexuality are not so nice.
The court orders banning prayer at football games are not so nice.
The iron curtain that has descended over public schools is not so nice.
The lawsuits, the intimidation, the accusations - the war to get access to our children -
is not nice at all.
I ask you today - to make disciples of your own children
by sharing a way of life with them, the way Jesus shared His way of Life with His disciples.
The National Education Association will not pass on the faith to your children.
They adamantly affirm and pledge not to.
I urge you, if you are serious about passing on the faith of Christ to your children,
to bring up your children yourself.
You're really bringing up generations to come.
Hillary Clinton wrote a book entitled
"It takes a Village to Raise a Child."
One homeschooling mother wrote,
"I have seen the village and I don't want it raising my child."
God wisely has the best plan for children, taylor made. Each child has a parent that he can bond with and be discipled by. Who will disciple your children?
Notice: The above is a part of a collection of information compiled to show the dangers of public school. Please print this information, reproduce it, spread it around, post it on your blogs, link to it and help save our nation from the anti-God indoctrination that is targeted at our children. Homeschooling is not expensive, and can be done without spending a cent. In fact, there are a lot of free homeschool material sites on the web. And, even if you cant have all the materials, just having your children at home with you makes them smarter and healthier and more bonded to you. The most important thing is to make your children loyal to their training, and honoring to their parents. This will be erroded in the public schools.Children dont need peers: they need parents.
50 comments:
Lady Lydia: I'm glad you took off the gloves.
You Make me smile!
Great job, writing such an important post. Our little ones are not in school yet, but we are already making plans to homeschool- thanks for further encouraging us in this decision.
I lived both sides of this issue with my children. The contrast in the moral alignment of my public school and home school children is stark and heart breaking. I had no idea that I was indoctrinated or that my children subjected to government school institutionalization were either. It has taken years of self-education to shed the scales of feminist/humanist/atheist lies from my eyes. My children are still suffering the consequences of this terrible deception. My I have your permission to re-publish this article in part or in whole on my blog?
In view of the above information, how can any sane man ask his wife to go to work? she is so needed in the home, with, or without children.
Please do take this, print it, reproduce it, spread it and post it. I will put a notice on the main article that people should do so. Thanks for the encouragement, as well. Our country has been enduring a cultural takeover by Marxists and Leninists , and the schools are their churches. The most effective way to help our country is to take your kids out of public school. Dont put them in, in the first place.
Thank you for this series, Lady Lydia.
It has really challenged me to think clearly about what I am doing and why. I'm not good at being a housewife. I get lazy and tired and I stop cleaning and then I forget why I am home in the first place. I begin to think that it would be better if I just left the house, but my biggest fear has ALWAYS been putting the kids in school because I hated the public schools from the beginning.
It is amazing how easily a fantasy (living a nice life, wearing nice fancy clothes, getting a Starbucks coffee every morning, having my hair and nails professionally groomed, etc.) can persuade you to consider giving up EVERYTHING you once held dear.
Among all of these conflicting feelings that I've had for the last week, my sister's advice from yesterday was so valuable to me. "Kristi, you obviously want to homeschool and stay at home. Your values and morals prevent any other thing, so stop giving yourself grief over the issue and decide that you are staying home and never look back." That is what I am trying to do because I agree with everything you say, Lady Lydia. I have been reading your blog for almost two years and I love the encouragement I get here. I am glad that I posted about considering to go off to school because I got the answer I wanted: I wanted someone to tell me I was being foolish and to knock it off!
So thank you, and to the other women who have commented to me. I really appreciate it!!! I know that the best "education" I can get right now is in the proper running of a household. I'm looking forward to getting proficient in my chosen profession.
Kristi
Before I ever had any children I read books by Mary Pride. "The Way Home" and "All the Way Home" were the names of these books. I decided then to homeschool my children. I have two children completed and two more to go! It was the one of the best decisions of my life. I feel like it has saved and strengthened our family unbelievably.
A friend of mine used to giggle and tell me that she just wasn't going to homeschool; it required waaayyyy to much sacrifice. She eagerly looked forward to the school year and kept all her time to herself. All seemed well. Her son was in gifted and talented and all advance placement classes. However, just this month he left home. Sneering and jeering at her and his father. She was a good mother and certainly does not deserve the pain he is causing. His grades have plummeted. He went and got an very ugly tatto on his arm. He is staying up all hours partying and carrying on. He is 17 years old and thinks his parents are fools and his peers are wonderful.
My boys are appalled and each one has told me that they know he is destroying his future and that they are glad they are still at home. Whewwww! Yes, I'm glad I home schooled.
Wonderful post. AMEN!
Just an observation: it really seems to me that a lot of the mommas who want to homeschool have at least one "professional educator" in their family, who would really like to "help out" by giving advice, buying curriculum, sharing their scheduling books from when they taught, so they can help the mom be a better teacher.
This is an extreme source of angst and can bug the momma so much that she gives up. We (the moms I have known, as well as myself), try to be really polite about it, and of course want to involve the family member, but if you say "no thank you" or try to explain why you don't follow that educational philosophy, schedule, etc., the "professional educators" get really personally offended that you are doubting all their expertise, and then very "officially worried" that you are raising your kids in this manner.
What always blows me away is that when they actually talk to the kids, they see the unbelievable good results you are getting with your kids, and it is like they are brainwashed - all they can think is that you are not following the proper method, and they just know that a disaster is looming.
I am not just talking about them seeing how nice the kids are, but how actually well educated they are - in all areas: math, science, history, skills, etc.
They are really good, Christian teachers, and all I can think is that they are brainwashed by their own education as teachers. Many of them burned out of education, but are still very proud of doing just that.
They bury you under mountains of used lesson plans and excellent source materials, and do not take into account any of your household cleaning needs, to not be buried in school paraphernalia, or disregarding your desire to choose your own, on your own time.
It would help new homeschooling moms to recognize this right away and politely resist it, rather than struggle with it for years before coming to this conclusion.
That always astounded me, too, that while looking at very well mannered and bright children, they would say, "You should put them in public school," or "do they have SOCIAL studie?" They want your nice children to experience the rebellion. They think it is healthy for them. They dont understand our way of life. Many people have been led to believe that to raise a child in a family environment is "sick" and that those who follow the Lord will "damage" their children
If I could give one hint to homeschoolers that would make it a happy experience, it would be to learn to clean house and make it orderly and pretty, and incorporate that housework into the homeschooling. To me, it is integral to what a woman stands for. If you abandon it all and sit in the midst of total chaos, you will have a miserable time. People who notice you will not think much of homeschooling if it is flooded with papers and books and no one is dressed. Educating the mind is not more important than having a heart for the home, keeping it and guarding it against disorder. Make it the most important thing and the learning will follow.
Excellent post!
We are homeschoolers in Canada. We enjoy it and are so thankful that we have the option to choose homeschooling.
Since we began 2 years ago, we have never looked back once.
Candy
I homeschooled my daughter for 13 yrs. I had my doubts and struggles at first. Then I finally came to the consclusion. I may miss something academically. I had to get to the point that was ok. I would rather her not be able to find the square root of 35 and know that Jesus is the ONLY way!! What is the point of education??? I agree we need to know basic skills but is the push for education is a mask for our country's spiritual decline. Is is that we simply want our kids to be the smartest or do we want them to grow in Wisdom!!! Ohhh that is freedom!! We should not be ashamed to make a decision to raise our kids in Godly Wisdom and not just educating their minds. We should not raise our kids out of fear of failing the world standard. We should guide them in the fear and reverence of the LORD.
I AGREE --the world is concerned about the pride of the intellect, but what is the point of having smart kids if they dont know the Law of the Lord? Its better to have GOOD kids than SMART kids, but to be good, is ultimately smart.So my advice is to work on the obedience and the wisdom in all things, and the learning will surely come. God will bless you with kids that can read and write when you dedicate your homeschooling to honoring Him and honoring parents and creating a multi generational culture of the home.
Another wonderful article, Lady Lydia! I am so glad I found your blog-you are a great source of encouragement to me.
I am so thankful that I have homeschooled my children from the start. We are now in our 8th year of homeschooling and I would not have it any other way. God has blessed my immensely with a husband who supports this decision (in fact he is the one who initially made the decision.)
Lydia,
While my views on religion are the complete polar opposite of yours, I absolutely love this post and have copied it to my blog (www.wingbeatsandreflections.blogspot.com) to "spread the word"!
I have four children and I have always homeschooled them. I did work very brielfy when my oldest was a baby/toddler but I have been a stay at home mom for the majority of his life and for my younger children, their entire lives.
It's not always easy staying at home and homeschooling but, no one ever said that parenting or life in general would be easy. If it were easy then you wouldn't learn or grow as a person.
Every mother/wife/woman has a choice to work or not, homeschool or not, no matter their economic situation. We choose how to spend our money, raise our families, where we live, etc. I believe that more parents would choose to homeschool if they truly enjoyed being a mother and having their children around. So many mothers I know can't wait to ship their children off to camp, daycare, school,etc so that they can have time to themselves. This concept is so foreign to me and my homeschooling mom friends. We truly enjoy being mothers and being with our children and cannot fathom this cultural norm of "getting rid of your kids" from infancy.
Thank you so much for this article and for attempting to chanage that cultural norm :)
Well, written article, Lady Lydia. I am so thankful for your encouragement in all these areas of our home life. Having come from the public school system (taking my time through college to end up with a M.S. in Secondary Education), it took many years and tears to be "converted" to being a homemaker and home educator.
Our journey has not been without struggle and trial as I have strived to learn and give myself fully to the calling of my Father. When we made the decision to home educate, I got a copy of the homeschool edition of CBD and went to the library checking out every book about home schooling that I could get my hands on; I continue to re-read many of these for encouragement and direction.
I still struggle even after 9 years of being at home, but I know I am further along in the journey than when I started. I continue to press forward to the high calling of our Lord and Savior and am confident that He will take my failings and use them to shape me and my children for His purposes.
As Christian mothers/fathers we can't close our eyes to the chief purpose of public education. Regardless of the clock they place around it, the true purpose of public education is to destroy family and church, thus country. We all know a teacher with a true heart and noble purpose, yet they are being used to a wicked end and we must stop being afraid to tell Caesar NO, you can't have our children!
I would encourage everyone to view:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRGZLSVph3A
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHzTw4 (Exposing the Trojan Horse is an excellent DVD.)
Thank you so much for the comments about working on obedience and keeping house and then the other learning will follow. I struggle so much with this. I feel guilty when are cleaning, sewing, baking bread and then don't get to "do school", yet, I can't focus well on schools subjects when everything is a mess around me. So, it's easy to start feeling like a failure all around because I'm not accomplishing it all!
I would also like to add we don't decide to homeschool!! From the time our kids are born we are home school, or should be!! Many choose to Stop home educating and send their kids to public school. Yes,it can be hard to dedicate the time. I started homeschooling my daughter in an RV in a the hospital RV park while my dear husband had a stem cell transplant. That was her first day of book education.We stayed there for 2 months. We learned phonics in a waiting room while he took chemo. We used curriculum that another homeschooling mom gave me. God HAS so blessed that. I will NEVER forget the encouragement I recieved or the supplies they so generously gave me.
I was blessed years later to be able to help a young mother myself. This is the nitty gritty of what it means to be there an encourage each other in our HIGH CALLING of motherhood.
There is always a WAY. God promises He will make a way when there seems to be no way!!
Teachers are used to facilitate the agenda of the public school system. They often do not understand it and are just trying to get their jobs done.
As a former school teacher, I can attest to these facts. The more I understood them, the more I realized I had to leave that system.
Julie: you are right - a mother begins at birth to train her children. If she really loves her child, she will teach him the basics of life,including manners and self respect. However if she sends him to public school, it will errode that good teaching. Children are just to young to face the responsiblity of being away from their parents. They may survive, but inside, they lose a sense of who they are.
As parents, we have a right to teach our children in our own beliefs. That is the way America was founded --the Pilgrims wanted to find a place to raise their families without interference from the government. Public schools appeared strongly in the 20th century as we know them now. Previous to that, a public school was provided by a church or by a group of people in the community to help the poor children learn to read and write. It was taken over by the government in the late 1800's.
Ok ladies, I'm in need of some advice (of the Godly Wisdom kind!)
My basic conundrum is this: how do I pay off my $30,000 student loan while continuing to stay home full time and homeschool my young child as well as care for both my elderly parents? My mom is in a nursing home close to me, my dad is alone on the farm 6 hours away (they are still married)and I travel frequently to assist/care for his needs.
I've been home 2 1/2 years, I quit when my dad had a major health crisis and needed me to advocate for him.
My husband and I are both 48, our child--our miracle by adoption--is 6 1/2. My husband is a wonderful man, I am so very blessed. He has worked 30 years at the same company with a high school education (he has a learning disability and didn't learn to read until he was an adult, thanks to being pushed through the best public school system in the area!)
We live in the midwest on $34,000 per year which includes a lot of overtime. (I own The Tightwad Gazette big edition.)
I acquired this staggering debt due to being brainwashed by the cultural norm.....assured I was "investing" in job security.....I started back to school to become a nurse two weeks before I married, school was my god for 4 years. I lasted 5 years in my career before I was injured, had major back surgery, off work 6 weeks, went back to work, 9 months later the same injury occured again at work, docs told me if I went back to the job again I had a 90% chance of becoming a permanent invalid. I was unemployed for 2 years with recovery and therapy, finally found work in office situation at a much reduced rate. Began making loan payments again, the interest had built up in the 2 years I was off and the amount was more than when I got out of school. I had it paid down to around $26,000 and then chose to quit work to be able to care for my parents and fulfill my heart's desire to homeschool our daughter. (It was obvious that daycare was NOT molding the character in her that we desired.)
Part of our plan in me quitting my job was to sell our home, at the time it assessed for just enough to pay the remaining mortgage and pay off my student loan--we would have broken even. We planned to move to the farm and take mom with us so my parents could be together.
Then, the bottom dropped out of the economy and the housing market.
We are planning to put our house on the market soon (still have some things to finish up) and see what we can do. We have no other debt, haven't had a credit card for 13 years. But the interest (8% and locked in for life!)has accrued again on my loan and it is back up to $30,000. I can't seem to get rid of the nasty thing! The student loan industry is quite the business--ensures wage slavery. We can't figure out how to get it paid off and maintain our values other than selling our home and/or cashing in our 401K (and giving 40% of it to the government in the process!)
I know now what I should have done all those many years ago, but I am too soon old and too late smart!! Grateful, though, to be learning and on the correct path at present. Lydia, your website is an incredible blessing and encouragement to me. Even at my age, I, too, am not a very good homemaker, I am learning and improving, and trusting God will restore what the locusts have eaten. And I intend to teach my daughter God's ways. Any suggestions as to a way out of my dilemma would be greatly appreciated.
M.C.
Dear M.C.,
Best wishes; it sounds like you are doing all you can to take care of your family. It is admirable that you care so much for the people around you.
I think your idea to consolidate your family members in one place (by moving to the farm, for example) is a helpful one, since, as you've undoubtedly realized, it reduces both transportation and housing expenditures, which are usually large.
Along this line, would it be possible for your mother to move in with you? Maybe you would be better at taking care of her than the nursing home-- you may not know unless you try. I don't know whether you are still planning to move to the farm, but that seems like a reasonable option-- or else your father could move in with you as well.
One huge expense that many people overlook is cars. According to Chris Balish, author of How to Live Well Without Owning a Car, the true cost of owning a car over five years is about twice the purchase price. If you decide to move to a location where public transportation would be accessible, this could be a way to save a lot of money.
In my own family, we've come to realize that we really do save on grocery expenses when we eat together rather than separately. If it did work out for your whole family to live in one place, perhaps you would find the grocery bill for all of you combined would be lower.
I don't really know what to suggest, as I'm not in your situation, but I wish you the very best, and I'm glad you are staying home!
S.
Such a great post Lady Lydia! I am a mom with two young children, and I am definitely homeschooling them. I knew before I had children and was married that there was no way I was going to send them to public schools. I went to public schools in a very nice area and became a Christian at age 18. The thing that has greatly saddend me is that almost every one that I knew that grew up in real Christian families with parents who loved Jesus, all their kids fell away from God and I really think that had to do with going to public schools.
I had a neighbor friend growing up that was one of the only real Jesus loving Christian families that I knew growing up. The kids were homeschooled in the beginning, but then sent to public schools and I don't believe any of them are walking with God (based on seeing their facebook pages- the girl I was friends with as a child- her facebook page made me cry- I had no idea how far she had fallen away from the Lord- partying and looking like a stripper in most of her pictures...it just made me cry. Her other brothers and sisters I don't think were walking with the Lord either, all turned to partying and worldly living. I think when their parents sent them to public schools being popular and fun became more important than God. Now I compare that to many of the families who homeschool their children that I have met at church and what a difference with their children! Even the friends I met in college (I lived at home and attended a local college) that were homeschooled were really strong and amazing Christians!
From my experience, almost no one that sent their kids to public schools had children that remained Christians. And I have yet to meet any homeschooling families that have children not walking with God. I know that does happen too, but is much more unlikely than if you let your children go to public schools.
I agree so much that children don't need their peers, they need their parents! Homeschooling is an amazing way to really instill our love for God in our children and help them avoid the peer dependency that happens in public schools. This is one aspect of public schools that I think hurt me the most. My friends and my "school" life were more important than anything else in my real life including family.
Thanks again Lady Lydia for such a well written post- I will pass your article on to as many friends as I can.
God Bless! You are such an encourager lady =)
Today Friday March 5th at 5:00 P.M. on the Glen Beck Show his special topic for the week is the Socialist/Communist Indoctrination of our children in the Public schools and State Colleges.
I went to college orginally to be a high school English teacher-I was required to read all the works of H.G. Wells-who is not a futuristic science fiction writer at all but a socialist and most of George Bernard Shaws Plays-also Socialist. The majority of the required literature was from Socialist or Communist countries or American literature that had more to do with the Feminist movement or the beginnings of unions for workers. Faust was required to understand the FED reserve-which is downright Satanic. History was often false in the textbooks or written to basically make white males squirm in their seats for being both male and white. Philosophy and science pounded the idea that the truth is relevant meaning there is no such thing as ultimate truth. My years in University severeally depressed me and they didn't supply me with a decent paying job ever. I am lucky in that I paid them off quickly and am not a slave to work to pay for my indoctrination. I find being "just a housewife and a mother," to be the best thing God has blessed my life with. The worst part is while they beat you over the head with the obvious stuff they also have a subtle and sneaky way as well. I also constantly heard quotes from various humanist, communist, and socialist manifestos, as well as quotes by evil people like Anton Levay all the time-I'm only just now learning where some of these quotes that was pounded at me came from. And I went to school 15 years ago-can you imagine how they've upped the agenda since then?
Dear M.C.-
I take care of my 2 1/2 year old son and my hubbies 92 year-old Grandma. My heart goes out to you. I was a CNA and I can understand some of the more dangerous aspects of nursing. We live in a tiny log cabin with no room for our son-to be next door to the Grandparents-my husband was lucky because we live in a very hard hit area in Michigan and our family would have been possibly better off moneywise if we had left the state-more secure and better paying jobs are everywhere else but his grandparents didn't want to move and they didn't want to be in a nursing home. His Grandfather died this Thanksgiving and he had gotten so bad that had he recovered he would have been beyond my abilty to take care of him without possible serious physical damage to myself-so I can understand where you are coming from both professionally, personally, etc...they had a trust and we now own the cabin we live in so we don't have mortgage or rent to worry about at least. My brother and sister-in-law live in my parents home as well-the basement was a seperate apartment-there is a house between my parents house and my Grandmothers-my father and brother help with my Grandmother and my sister-in-law is a stay-at-home mother. A cousin also helps with my grandmother. I would encourage you to sell your house and go live on the farm with your father-look up the Spousal Impoverishment Law in your state and study it-the state and the nursing home can take a lot from your father because your mother is in a nursing home-but they have limits by this law its in your families best interests to understand. I would have a long talk with your parents and your husband. If your mother can walk with a walker or use a wheelchair herself and is not severely in the stages of dementia -it would be hard but you could take care of her at home with your background -if the whole family agrees. If you are homeschooling you still need help that is not you during the limited time you are in school and i'd limit it to two hours the rest you can infuse in daily living. I would try to get other family help with your parents and use any home respite services that your parents insurance or Medicare Part A allows. You need sleep or you will not be able to take care of your family. Selling your car is an option if you are a two-car family. Your husband takes the car to work and if you live with your Dad-he keeps his car-with the understanding that you are allowed to take it for things like grocery shopping and your families doctor appointements-as well as to take him to his appointments and to see your mother at the nursing home. i would even go so far as to sell all valuable jewelry except wedding bands and collectibles, antiques-etc. I know it seems extreme but you are going to be too busy to work.
True : - though these are the original Dewey goals and ideals, the system has gotten MUCH worse, as every abberation is being taught in school. Do you ever wonder why the southern people are no longer the ladies and gentlemen of the past, or that the southern states no longer hold the esteem of being called the Bible Belt, or that Southern hospitality doesnt seem to exist among the current generation---they had public schools imposed on them by the government, to water down their culture and rob them of their religion and their family beliefs.
I would like to know thoughts/opinions on what boys are to do once they finish their homeschooling years? Do they go on to a college or university? Or find a job that does not require a bachelors degree or other type of certification?
For the anonymous lady who wanted to know how to do college, the book Accelerated Distance Learning gives several ideas including how to get an entire accredited bachelors from home. I am doing this now with one of my sons. I wrote about it here.
http://www.milestonesacademy.com/Site/Complete_Your_Entire_Bachelors_Degree_While_Still_In_High_School.html
(continued)
I'm certain he will be able to find work of some sort, there is need of good farm hands, and my dad is well established and respected in the area.
We also ponder over what to do with the student loan. Homemaking, homeschooling, caring for my parents (dad will require meals, meds and housekeeping, and I will be doing finances for both, as well as advocating/care coordinating for mom)as well as supervising a farm operation is going to be more than full-time for me. The farm is not really active, most is either rented pasture or in CRP program, but there is maintenance that needs to be done. I have no concern that we can sell our home here and pay off our mortgage, but I don't think we'll get enough to wipe out the student loan too. Would we be totally crazy to cash in the 401k to finish paying it off? Considering the Biblical prophecies that the economy is going to completely fail anyway? (If we only knew how soon!:^)We would feel so much better about going there if we were debt free. Do we cash it all in here, go there and start over where we can be away from the city and grow our own food, basically start all over.
Or keep going here with the "secure" job and hope for the best, come what may. I keep praying for wisdom, and that my man will hear the Lord's will clearly and be willing to do it. And that I will be ok with whatever that is!!
Thank you ladies for your input, it is very beneficial.
Lydia--thank you for allowing me to share this. I don't want to take things off task or make this all about me--I just REALLY, REALLY want to stay home, be the wife and momma God has called me to be, homeschool my girl, and facilitate all the love and kindness and quality of life that I can for my elders. My momma wants to go home (be close to my dad) sooo much. (The nsg. home she would go to is the one she worked at for 10 years herself, so she feels like it is part of 'home')She's been away 5 years now. I don't know how much time they have left, I so much want them to have some of their last time together. I just want to have my family together again. My daughter benefits from them so much, and they from her. Thank you for letting me share, and I appreciate any prayers.God Bless.
M.C.
(From M.C.)To the two ladies--thank you for your time and wisdom.
It helps sooo much to hear from others who share similar values.
My mother has a Parkinson's type syndrome--they don't know what it really is or what causes it--but her mobility is very poor. She cannot walk, wipe her own bottom or even turn herself over in bed. Caring for her (the physical task) would destroy the health I have left. Her mind is still good, which is an incredible blessing for me but a real suffering for her, so many losses. She is an amazing woman, I am sooo blessed. My father is a wise steward and purchased life-time long term care insurance for her, so we are blessed that the funds for her care are provided. Dad only purchased a three year policy on himself and has used about 10 months of that, so keeping him at home is important in that respect. He is ambulatory and has a good mind as well, though both parents have some short term memory losses. Dad absolutely does not want to move here. (For several good reasons not mentioned here)The family farm is debt-free, about 1600 acres. (There is a trust and we would inherit some of the land in the future.) My husband does NOT want to move into the same house with my dad for several reasons, mainly there is such an accumulation of stuff that there is really no room for us. I have been working on clearing things out when I can and will continue to, as I expect the time will come that he will need someone in home. There is a tiny rock cabin (12x18 inside with an attic you can stand up in, would work for bedroom(s) on the property, we are seriously considering fixing that up to live in for now. We love doing things the old way, could heat with wood, but there is water and electricity available as well, but we should be able to really cut living expenses. Selling one vehicle could help too, although both our car(98) and truck(88) are paid for and we keep those expenses to a minimum.
My husband wants to move to the land and pursue a more agrarian lifestyle, he has wanted to "do something else" for the 25 years I've known him, but with his 'LD handicaps' been too afraid to leave the security of his job. He doesn't want to stay here (we live just outside a major metro area) yet worries about finding work (and medical insurance--he's diabetic type 2)in the more economically depressed rural/agricultural area we would be going to. (to be continued)
Dear M.C.,
Best wishes with your decision.
Some people have found that dietary changes help with Parkinson's-like symptoms, although I don't know if such changes would be helpful in your mother's case or not. The main changes include eating meat and cutting out sugar, artificial sweeteners, MSG, and processed foods.
The Weston Price Foundation has some thoughts here:
http://www.westonaprice.org/The-Kitchen-Transition.html
You can also search the site to find out more tidbits about Parkinson's and other health concerns.
Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon contains practical and delicious recipes related to this group of thought.
Take care!
M.C.-Thank you for the more information. I am the ex-CNA helping take care of my husband's Grandmother. First, from how you describe your own health and your mother's condition-you are right-you probably wouldn't be able to properly care for your mother without ruining your back. The type of insurance your mother has is very good-we had it on Papa too and that is a blessing for Grandma's state of mind-if at all possible encourage your father to purchase some for himself-just don't nag-lol. I agree you should keep him in the home for as long as it is possible. I would also ask for help in looking in on him by any nearby relatives and I would also ask faraway relatives to take turns calling him at least once a week-that way nobody can complain about having too many long distance phone calls. If they notice anything amiss they call you right afterwards and let you know. It's good for him socially and keeps him informed of his other family members-and it helps you keep an eye on his needs. As for moving in with him-it sounds like a nice idea but don't be too upset if it doesn't happen-it sounds like your husband is worried about his job too much to move there and also like your father isn't willing to part with his things. You have done your duty-you have mentioned it and they are aware of the option-now they both have to be willing to do it-and they might never want to. You pray and you let it go. I know it's hard from personal experience-if i told you how many times I have thought oh my stubborn husband or oh that selfish elder of mine-don't they ever think of our child -don't they ever think of me? You pray then too. As for your car if its paid off and it doesn't need constant money draining repairs and you or your husband take the time to maintain it and can do the minor repairs-keep it-you need it to visit your mother and go help your father. I'd still sell any extra electronics or collectibles or extra jewelry at Ebay or hold a yardsale-the money goes towards the student loans or in an emergency accounts. I paid my student loans off two years early than schedule by always paying more than the miniumum balance and making note that the extra was to go towards principle-call your loan up and see if they will do it-if they say yes-you still have to in writing put that down with every payment you make. Sometimes all the extra I could afford was ten bucks-it helps. Otherwise just pray and get as much help and encouragement as you can get. You are doing everything in your power you can personally do and you are respecting other peoples wishes in the process. As for worrying about the economy I would tell you to stockpile non-pershiable foods and invest in heritage seeds instead of hybrids, have a water supply and learn to hunt and fish. Could you cook on an open camp fire or heat with wood? Can you wash your clothes by hand and drip-dry indoors or out? If you know how than you can survive a serious crisis if it comes down to it. Otherwise don't worry about the end times-you can't control it-so don't worry-being prepared for a crisis is one thing-worry is another.
Ideas for college and high-learning for sons. Distance learning via computer often is the cheapest way to go however they still often require many courses that have nothing to do with the job or career and everything to do with being well-rounded in pursuing Associate Art and Bachelor degrees. Community colleges are the second cheapest option as long as you are able to afford the tuition and the car and all that goes with it for your son to drive to school. There will still be peer influencing and some unsavory lessons in the textbooks and he will still be influenced by the teachers-however it often isn't as bad as in regular college or University-you have him living under your roof and you can ask to see his textbooks, make sure he has done his homework, and have rules he has to abide by if he lives under your roof-such as no partygoing. You must understand though-he might get an assignment you don't agree with-he must do it or he fails-its not like high school the teacher won't care what you think and you will have wasted your money. If that is the case you can encourage him to do the assignment and discuss what is wrong with it-he can put in his own opinion as long as he owns it and can support it with facts-yes he will pass the assignment then but if he deserved an A-he might get a B instead because of expressing a viewpoint the teacher disagrees with-but he has defended his own beliefs and he has to learn that to be prepared for working in the world. There are also internships and apprenticeships still-ones that do not require college but they are getting harder to find for two reasons-technology and the business oriented colleges-nobody is going to point these out-you have to dig for them. An example-some states allow you to work under an architect for five years and for a pricey fee you can take a test and if you pass it and have been able to prove your five years working with an architect-you can become one without college. The tests in these cases are often ranging from $300-$2,000 and you have to have things in writing but it can be cheaper than college and your son is learning from a trusted person knowing practical skills he can get his hands on not just lovely theories from textbooks. Many Distance learning courses are accredited and you only take them for 3-6 months and you get a certification instead of a degree-lots of practical money-making jobs out there require just that. You just need to make sure they are accredited and to talk to a few local companies by making a formal appointment over the phone to either e-mail your questions or ask them on the phone, or even in person when they have the time to answer them-questions being would you consider hiring someone who got their certification online as long as they can prove accredidation? Often because you and your son took the time to ask not only will you not make a mistake but they may be so impressed they might help in his future job search or even hire him if there is ever an opening.
Useful skills for women include crochet, knitting, sewing, and embroidery-they pretty up the home are constructive hobbies and can be sold for money if things got too tight on occasion either on-line in an Etsy store or you can have what I call a craft sale in your yard or garage instead of a yardsale-you just might have to pull a permit for that though. Remember though if you have an Etsy store you may not have to pay rent on a building or hire employees but you still have to treat it like a professional business-you still have to ship things out attractively and on time, keep records of supplies and purchases to even possible make a profit, and know the laws on taxes. You still must understand simple accounting and possibly purchase a computer program in it. Do you have that kind of time? Yardsales are a lot of work and permits are often costly. Canning salsa or jellies and Jams are a good idea-but you have to have your kitchen inspected. Then you have to have a place to sell them too-or have a permit to sell them from your home. E-books don't take too much time to write but they still take time and money and you almost have to keep up a blog to advertise. You could baby-sit in your home but you better have good home insurance, own that home and groundwork, and know CPR, as well as become state certified and all that jazz. I'm just not sure the liability is worth even bothering with that option. Piano lessons and tutoring today almost have as much liability as the baby-sitting. Being familiar with typing and a computer is handy but the only typing I know off that doesn't require some degree is transcribing for the court systems-you better be a great speller, and a very fast and accurate typer with the ability to make deadlines-yes this one you could do in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep but it requires you to drive someplace the next day or own a very good quality fax machine dedicated solely to that purpose. No matter what you do ladies-it costs money and time. It's alright for a major emergency but in the long run you might be burning yourself out too much, neglecting your family and housework, or godforbid giving your husband and children the idea that you will always be doing this and the emergencies will become luxuries beforee you know it.
A very fine article, Mrs. Sherman. I would like to encourage women out there who are feeling the pull to home educate their children.
My children are older, & are becoming fine, God-fearing people...two nearing young adulthood, & one still with four years to go in public school. We live in a very small town, with strong parental involvement in our schools. Over all these years, my husband & I have been pleased with the education our children have received, as well as the quality of their teachers.
That said, I'm not sure I would place my children in government schools now, if I had it to do over again. It's quite possible there's a good deal more I could have given my children in their early years, by homeschooling them, had I investigated the various programs & curricula available to parents who want to pursue this. Also, having begun when they were little, I would have grown with them, so to speak. For me to begin anything now, I do believe, would be haphazard at best; the advanced nature of some of their current math courses alone makes my head swim just to think about it!
So, for all the mothers (and fathers, too!) who look forward eagerly to the education process they'll engage in with their children, I want to say "bless you in your efforts." I pray you will have more enjoyable days than not. You will be part of an increasingly powerful movement, a very important one, I believe. :o)
Brenda
Amen! Homeschooling has been such a blessing for our family. And it doesn't have to be difficult for the mother. There are plenty of good boxed curriculum sets with teacher's guides. We use Rod & Staff - excellent and inexpensive; we've been using it since Kindergarten. We'll be switching to CLE when Rod & Staff ends at eighth grade.
If only the churches would get on board. I keep hearing from the pulpit how the really good Christian parents put their children in public schools where they will be salt and light. HA! I know their children-they are completely worldly and most have already left the church. But still they insist...
Lady Lydia: This is such an excellent post. I am a public school teacher who knows this to be true. Recently, because of several blogs I've read, the Lord has spoken to me about loving Him with all my Heart and living Biblically. I began to pray for God to help me love Him as I should and to show me how to live only by what the Bible teaches rather than what I have learned from living as an "American." He is showing me SO much!
Without even realizing it, I have been deluded and desensitized by the culture so that I have accepted things as "okay" when they are not truly God's will or His best for me. I am changing in so many areas, but the main one I am fervently praying about is home schooling my children. I understand that God should be the center of everything we do every day and all else is peripheral. We cannot teach our children that God is ALL important when we only include Him in small portions of the day. True education is knowing Him. I have just read "A Christian Philosophy of Education" by Gordon Clark, and he shows emphatically how our system of education is diametrically opposed to Christianity. He also talks a great deal about John Dewey, as well as other atheists who have influenced public education.
My problem is that my husband, who is a good Christian man - a Minister of Music - does not have the same vision for our children as I do. He does not understand the sorry state of the public schools and the kind of rebellious behavior our kids are being subjected to on a daily basis. He is worried, as the provider, that we will not be able to make ends meet without my salary, which is actually larger than his. In his eyes, I have worked outside the home to enable him to be a full time Minister of Music, which pays around 35,000 a year. He thinks that if I quit, I am causing him to disobey his calling.
I know that I am to be submissive to his decision, but I am in a quandary with this one. My children's lives are at stake here and I don't want to be a contentious wife, but neither do I want to lose my children to the culture. HELP! I desperately need some prayers and wise, godly advice.
It is very simple: The Bible does not say that Titus 2 is to be applied only if the husband makes a certain amount of money or if the wife makes less than he. It does not talk about money at all. Our focus is money; God's focus is doing what is right, no matter what the sacrifice. He will take care of the rest. Our mothers and grandmothers stayed home even though the income was much much less than it is today, and even though the price of goods and products were very high. I can remember the cost of a dozen eggs being ten dollars in the winter, and the cost of fabric was so high that we took apart old garments or used other things to make clothes for children. A man is supposed to earn a living for his family "by the sweat of his brow." Many men today do not want any sweat. They want it to be easy. They only want to do what they are qualified for by their education, not realizing that they need to do whatever it takes to earn a living, and be providers. It brings them closer to God's will and makes better men out of them. Women are not told to be the providers and not commanded to work by the sweat of their brow to earn. Instead, they are given the job of child bearing and house keeping, which is hard enough without adding the burden of earning money on top of it. We have lost many children to the world and allowed them to be turned into Marxist-Socialist-Communists by the school system, and that must stop. Our children'
s souls are at stake here, and no amount of money or bill paying can save their souls. Dont let anyone intimidate you as a woman to take on a role that God has not given you. You are His agent on this earth to guide and guard the children and train them and keep the house.
Regarding enabling "ministry."
I could write a volume on that subject. Many men will get into ministry and claim they love the Lord, so they will sacrifice by doing with a lower salary. In the mean time, they miss out on the great calling and ministry of being a provider, as God also has commanded. The ministry does not supersede the providing. Karl Marx neglected his family, leaving them in sqalor, while he pursued his greater calling of studying at the university and writing papers on how the world should be run. Christian men are no better when they claim that ministry is more important than personally providing for their own children.
Whatever a man does, whether he is farming or whether he is filling gas tanks, its a ministry, because his whole life ought to be an example of good works and good attitudes. He probably converts more people in a regular job than he does in a music ministry, and if you calculated it, you would see that some ministries are more isolated from people and convert no one, but are a pleasure for the minister.
The reason I could write volumes about it is that I have seen families neglected by ministers who think they are going to save the world, but they miss out on providing for their own children. Their children grow up to lack respect for them and do not follow in the faith.
In order to teach your children at home, the family has to see the father as the provider and the mother as the guide and guard of the home and the teacher of her children. If she is not free from the MAN job of earning money, she cannot be a good example to the next generation.
I've seen ministries--believe me--and they can be harmful if the man is not fulfilling his God-given job of providing for his own. No woman is required to enable a man's ministry, and there is no scripture that says she must go to work so he can be a minister.
Lady Lydia,
Thank you for your answer to my question. I appreciate you being willing to teach in this matter. I am praying fervently for God to change my husband's heart and to reveal to him the seriousness of the situation. I have explained everything to him, so he knows where I stand on this. I am waiting now for God to change his heart. Please say a prayer for our family...
My opinion on this is very strong: A man who wants his wife to sacrifice her true calling of motherhood, so that he can enjoy the pleasure of a low paying ministry, is not doing as Christ commanded: he told the men to love their wives as Christ loved the church and sacrificed himself for it. Making her work so he can do what he likes, is asking the wife to sacrifice, instead. The husband is not sacrificing anything. The wife is, when she leaves her children to go to work. It is also unBiblical. Pardon my frankness, but you do not have to wait for your husband to change his heart. You have to change your own heart so that you are convicted strongly enough to do what is right no matter what, to save your children. Children are helpless and are at the mercy of adults. Mothers are needed to rescue them and protect them and guide them. They cannot do that if they are forced to go to work by men who think their ministries are more important than their children. Remember Eli lost his sons because he was not paying attention--instead, he was absorbed in his priestly duties. This is the kind of thing that feminists ought to be outraged over: a man forcing his wife to work through intimidation, instead of letting her do what she wants. That is slavery and that is the kind of thing feminists ought to cry out against.
To the wife whose husband is in the music ministry, here are my thoughts. I seem to remember a Scripture saying that if any man provideth not for his own, he is worse than an infidel, and has lost the faith. I can't recall chapter and verse right now, but I remember reading that...
Ma'am,
I just wanted to say that this is an excellent post or essay. John Dewey was all about subverting and destroying the American family.
If you want to read more about the American public school system, you should check out John Taylor Gatto's web site. The aforementioned link will take you to the online version of his book. I liked it so much that I bought the hard copy version. The public schools have always had a nefarious end, which is due to their underlying STRUCTURE; no reform of the curriculum will change the underlying problems with the schools. For example, did you know that the bell signaling the change of classes is a deliberate, mind control device? Read the book, and you'll find out why.
In any case, this post was good. Have a nice day now, Ma'am...
MarkyMark
To the lady whose husband wishes her to work in order to allow him to pursue his ministry, it is my belief that a woman should not submit to the will of her husband, but rather to the will of God. God's will must come first. Children need to be raised by their mother. Your husband is choosing to close his eyes to the damage done to his children because he is putting his wants first. He is being selfish. It is perfectly possible to create a ministry in our everyday lives in how we deal with others. We do not need to stand in a church and preach. We can be the best kind of friend and neighbour, mindful of the needs and cares of others, the Good Samaritan to a stranger and so on. I was educated by nuns and they explained to us very clearly the numerous ways in which one can do God's work on this earth. Two examples would be: someone offers you a cake or chocolate sweet from a tempting plateful. Instead of choosing your favourite, pick another. This is a little bit of self-denial, a little sacrifice. Or, an impatient comment is on the tip of your tongue, but you bite it back and make a polite response. Sometimes those little things are the hardest to do. Keep praying and have faith that God will open your husband's eyes and at the same time, accept that if this does not happen, it is part of God's plan and purpose for you - and he knows best.
I agree. A woman teaches her husband by her good conduct. Going to work outside the home is not what God has instructed in his word to women. Some husbands actually know what the Bible says but mis-use their authority. Women are not required to obey anything contrary to God's will. Marrying someone of similar values in the first place, will prevent most of this kind of conflict.
Rosemi,
I'd like to email you but for some reason your email is not in my address book. Mine is ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net
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