Visitation: Video

At the Cottage Door by Henry Margetson (1861-1940)

Hello Ladies,

As I do not write or memorize or even edit my videos, please do not expect them to be professional. I figure if you were here at a class, I would not be precise or perfect in my presentation anyway. 

I have started Housewife Radio today but have not made a program yet. I will put a notification on a post if you want to tune in, and will indicate the date and time. At that time I will arrange to have ladies I know call in to discuss a chosen topic.

My subject today is "Visitation," because I have talked to several ladies who say that is one part of home-life that is really missing. I suppose the rushing about to do errands and business and essential shopping has cut in to the time that might have been used for leisurely, non-stressed visiting.

My parents visited people, not because my parents were all stressed out, lonely, or had problems, but because they knew it was good for the other person to be visited. Now that may sound awfully strange to young women today, and I can understand, because they may have never observed a visit. Gone are the days when people stopped by for pie or to just see you. 

It was not a case of feeling such a sense of importance that they thought other people would be overjoyed to see them, but it was a way of giving the other people a sense of well-being and a certain kind of grounding or feeling of being human. It showed them they were not slone nor would they be left alone or forgotten.

 I know the experience of long, dark winters, and as a child, longing to go visit someone. It was our way of getting away from our own concerns, too, and investing in the lives of others who may need us.

 We never tried to be imposing and we always were alert to the fact that the people we visited may have other plans, may already have visitors, were unable to see us, or were busy with something that needed attention.  Also, watching our parents interact in conversation help us figure out how to visit.

I was just thrilled the other day when someone phoned and asked if she could come and visit! But it began the day I sent her a note that said, "Please feel free to come visit any time."  In those days long ago, our parents could not give anyone a warning they would be visiting, but it did not matter because having people drop in was expected; it was part of life. 

 These days, you have to phone before a visit, because people are on the go all the time and you might not find them home if you make a cold call. Instead of letting people suffer by waiting for an invitation, I say, "Come by any time."  After that, it is their turn, and their decision. Now they can make the choice of a time to take me up on the offer. That way, in a sense, the Lord decides for me when to show hospitality.  I have not had much success with making invitations for a certain date, to have visitors. 

How does visiting differ from other forms of contact? Well I think if you would study all the things that go on during a visit, you will find that your eyesight, your mind, your hearing, and your feelings have an entirely different response. The day does not seem so overcast. You bring sunshine into someones life and gather all types of information from each other.

Jane Austen, whom so many ladies love to read, formed her novels by listening to conversations of visitors.  It is said she did not like to leave her home, but that she received visits and kept note of the words that were spoken, as well as the countenance of the visitors. There is so much more going on in visits that it is hard to analyze it all. A child sitting in the living room listening to the adults picks up on the "feeling" of the whole thing.

Of course I expect ladies will make visits worthwhile, discussing things that are good, pure, lovely, inspiring, sympathetic and encouraging.  They will hopefully refrain from criticism or vulgar talk, envy and other unpleasant things. The purpose of visiting is to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep and avoid making it an unpleasant experience for others.  In the old days you would not be welcomed if you had been impolite or made anyone uneasy. Politics, religion and matters of the heart can be discussed if the people you are visiting are like-minded and if it does not frighten little children.

I do not know if anyone here is familiar with The English Home magazine. Although I do not have a subscription to it, I sometimes linger at the magazine section in a bookstore just to check out the back page where a Mrs. Minerva has a column on polite behavior.  This month she wrote about the art of choosing fabric. She mentioned how her husband disliked the task so much that she found it difficult to concentrate on choosing the fabric, so she allowed Mr. M.  to not accompany her inside  the fabric store again.  I think she may have simply left him home to do something he was more interested in. 

Since I mentioned on the video that a visitor came yesterday, I cannot resist telling you how that turned out. 

 My husband came in to see a table set for two, for tea, with gleaming tea pots, real china cups and little gold teaspoons surrounding a pile of delicate sandwiches, some salads and all kinds of fruit delicacies. The tea was steaming out of the spout and I was eager to pour the first fragrant cup!  As we sipped we would be enjoying some very good comversation about everything in the world.

 Mr. S. greeted my friend and lingered awhile as he asked about her husband and how everyone was doing in her neck-of-the-woods.  He was especially concerned about Mrs. W.'s spiritual growth and they discussed things like worship and Christian values. 

At length, I decided to serve the tea before it lost any degree of heat. As I poured, he and my visitor began talking about the Sasquatch.  I am not going to explain what that is. You can look it up on the web. 

 They talked and talked about the things each of them had heard, and what friends of theirs had seen, and so forth.  I am not exaggerating when I say the more they drank tea, the more they kept up a lively conversation about the Sasquatch and the myth surrounding it. 

I was beginning to feel a little apprehensive about the time. Would I be able to talk about fabric with my friend? Would there be time for her to show me her patterns she brought along, or talk about her family? Well, as it turned out, after the tea and sandwiches were good and gone, Mr. S. excused himself and went to his office. We did have a little time to ourselves, but we would have had a lot more fabric-talk time if the major part of her visit had not been used up on Sasquatch, whoever he or she is. 

 So, like Mrs. Minerva, I invited Mr. S. to make an appearance each time someone comes to tea, give the normal greetings and find out how their husbands are doing,  but then excuse himself to go back into his office and write a good sermon!  

 Of course ladies, please note I have said all this because it was so amusing, and this is tongue-in-cheek. I do not want to read all over the web that Mrs. Sherman was upset and kicked Mr. S. out of the tea party! You know how those false reporters are, and what a spin they put on everything.

  My family saw such humor in it all they suggested I buy the pastry called "bears claws" and invite people for a special Sasquatch Tea. I was telling a friend a church about this delightful visit but of course had to interject the Sasquatch conversation, and she said the same thing: at the next tea, serve cake with paw prints or tracks on it. 

find the recipe for bears claws here.here

Mrs. W. I enjoyed your visit immensely, and this post was all in good fun! You can actually talk about anything you want, just so long as you sip tea with me again!