Victorian Women and Their Sense of Duty

We have been enjoying seeing the occasional Queen Anne or Victorian home in our area. One thing the Victorian families left to us was their houses. In them, it cannot be denied that they cared so much about their own families that they created places for them. Little turns and alcoves, both in the garden and the house, created places for children that would one day be the source of sentimental stories of growing up. Porches remain where family courtships took place. There were rooms where babies were born or where the head of the house kept his records and paid his bills. Some rooms were just for play, and others were artists studios. There seemed to be room for everything in an era where houses were built up rather than spread out. These two and three storey homes also meant there was more yard space and more space between one house and another.

Easy Living

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Warwick, Dwayne


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Victorian architecture was a combination of several different styles, all which were built within the 19th century. Victorians had one character quality that is largely missing today, although it was so strong in them, that some of it still permeates our lives in the 21st century. This was a strong sense of duty. In a sense, their style of architecture reflected their sense of duty, although that would require an entirely different type of article.

In general, Victorian women felt a strong duty to be good wives and mothers. The culture of the family was reinforced constantly. Men loved to come home to a happy family, and appreciated the time a woman spent making that home beautiful, preparing "toothesome" meals, and dressing her children well. She had a little garden, as most people did in those days, which provided the best food for her family. She felt it her duty to be the guide of the home, a full time wife and mother who had power over society through her role as the homemaker.

In Victorian times, duty was a strong word. It was a sense of personal responsibility and personal pride. It was considered shameful to have gone back on your word.

Duty was such a part of the 19th century person, that society was generally ruled by it. Women who wanted to be good, felt it a duty to protect their children by personally nurturing them and seeing that they were taught manners, and that they offended no one. Men felt duty bound to build their family a house which would also provide part of the inheritance for future generations. Women felt it was their duty to be their husband's counsellor and closest ally. Children felt the duty deep within them to speak well of their parents and to honor them and to please them and avoid creating any kind of offense. Compare that to today, where shock value seems to be the order of the day, whether in the home or in the world.

Duty was such a part of their lives that a person was careful not to promise what they could not fulfill, and careful to look around first and test the repercussions of what he did. Your word was to be trusted. People rarely went back on their word. Probably everyone has experienced the inconsiderate behavior of someone who held them up by being late or not showing up at all. In the 19th century, there were those, as there always are, who indulged in such inconsiderate behavior, but they were not considered reliable and would not be regarded highly. I have been home waiting for repair companies or guests that never came. This was considered in that day the height of rudeness, but today it is part of every day life, and we are not happier for it.

Sunday Afternoon I

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Brown, Robert


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We can learn a lot from the Victorian sense of duty. They carried this sense through their worst times. That strong sense of duty meant respect, reverence and regard. They would no more have thought of wearing shorts and flip-flops and a tank top to a church meeting than to someone's home. Even their walking gardens, parks and villages were so well laid out that it took a thoughtful walk through them to appreciate them.

A sense of duty caused them to be careful what they left behind for others to enjoy, or for future generations. I wonder, what will our generation leave behind and what will the next generation think of our clothing, our manners and customs, our hospitality, our businesses, our art and architecture? Without a strong sense of duty, people will be careless. They will say, "Well, when I am gone, I won't care." We may be gone, and not care, but others will care. They will suffer the consequences of the way were. We enjoy everything Victorian--their beautiful designs, their love of gardens and flowers, their love of art, music and poetry and their social habits of calling on one another, having tea, and their handicrafts, still inspire us.

Duty meant that they left things that would be loved and appreciated by others for generations to come.

Lakeside Retreat I

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As discussed before, homemaking is much more interesting when it is done with an artistic eye. I believe the Victorian women felt a duty to beautify the home. I remember my own mother, grandmother, and great grandmother having time for many interests. Every year when the county fair came about, homemakers of all ages, even the little girls, entered their accomplishments. The sewing category was always full of the dresses that young women made, and it gave us so many stimulating ideas. There was a table setting display, flower arrangements, home decoration, cooking, gardening, etc. In some county fairs today, you can enter anything you want, and if there is no category for, they will provide one.





Peonies

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Chiu


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Hobbies at home were the icing on the cake. We got our necessary work finished (ironing, laundry, dishes washed, cooking, etc) and made a little extra time to do the things we found most relaxing, such as sewing or doing up a room in a special way. Special interests often led to home businesses, another source of income. When women left the home and went into working away from home, many of these interests were neglected. I remember that my mother in law used to buy a special pan scrubber, which a woman made by crocheting nylon netting of different colors, into a circle. She bought these regular for herself and for gifts. There were other things that women sold from their homes, and it seemed like so many of these homemakers were proficient at least at one thing and would sell it to you.

Victorian women felt it was their duty to teach the next generation of women how to have a well-kept home and raise a good brood of children. Men and women had a high regard for one another. Men wanted to protect women and women admired the men and wanted to marry once and have a family. The women had a strong sense of duty that propelled them to stick through marriage, through good times and through hard times. They recognized that marriage and family would have to go through trials, because they saw the previous generation do it. Today we are not as bound by that sense of duty, but we can certainly learn from the Victorian Women.




Enchanting Chateau

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Hilger


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You can read more about the Victorian sense of duty in the book "Gaining Favor With God and Man," which is a great study in the character of Victorian educators, statesmen, and women. The book cites Mary Lyon, a prominent Victorian teacher of women, as saying to her pupils: (which dashes to pieces the modernists belief that women were not educated! They were educated, but more in the character quality of duty to marriage, home and family, than they are today) as saying, "Go where duty calls. Take hold, if necessary, where no one else will." Duty, as a watchword and inspiration, she kept before them constantly. Personal obligation, instead of personal fulfillment or fame, she sought them to remember. We should all live our best, like the example of these Victorian women, not letting time be wasted. We should seek what is good and lovely and pure and bring others to want to know more about the Christian way of life. Women who have a strong sense of duty will feel a driving force to keep their homes in a beautiful way, and to to embellish them with the things that bring peace and harmony to the home.
(Just a reminder that you can purchase any of these prints on any article by clicking on it or the title. Some of them are only $7.00. They are a great thing for your home, to build up the values that you cherish, in your family. You never know if looking at such pictures will inspire a budding architect, or cause a young girl to want a home and family of her own one day. If you order by clicking on one of the pictures here or at my daughter's site, Lillibeth and I earn a little money, as an affiliate. We both try to choose prints that speaks to the heart of a woman who loves her home. My "store" is at the end of the page here and I hope to add more favorites to it. Also please do not forget to check her blog at The Pleasant Times , as she updates almost daily. I have not been able to do that but hope to get organized enough to post more often. )