Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Protecting Our Daughters


Reading
by Joshua Hargrave Sams Mann
(1849-1884)

When summer begins, very young girls are allowed to go to the grocery store in what would have been considered underwear a hundred years ago. Most of these girls do not even know that they are dressed in a way that will attract the worse elements of society and put them in great danger. I wrote previously about the importance of modest dress when trying to protect our daughters, here http://homeliving.blogspot.com/2009/03/protecting-our-daughters-with.html

In the Old Testament, not only was any kind of nakedness (even exposing the thigh was considered nakedness) forbidden, but people were warned not to even look when someone was not dressed modestly or was uncovered.

In the New Testament, women are given special instruction to behave shamefacedly, and dress in modest apparel. Shamefacedness is a type of modest shyness, similar to self-consciousness. It is something that causes you to perhaps pull a shawl a little closer to you in some situations, not wanting undue attention drawn to yourself.
Dress Design from Brown Stone Studio

This same shamefacedness goes beyond modest dress, into modest behavior. One of the most dangerous situations today for young girls is the supposedly innocent fund-raiser called the car-wash.

Parents do not realize why their daughters, dressed in sun-bathing clothing, (short tops and short shorts) are facing traffic and holding up car-wash signs. These girls will attract attention by their immodesty. This is not a shamefaced act; this is a brazen act that will bring more danger to them than you can imagine.

Just this month, on the left-coast of our nation, girls like that are being snatched, pulled into cars, and taken away to be sold in a large city for the purpose of slavery. You may have thought this could only happen in a less advanced nation, but it is happening in the west, as well. Check this link . While some people wait for years for a state legislature to fix such a problem, parents can make such a tragedy non-existent by protecting their daughters.See also
It is important to read the above links before making any kind of assessment about freedom and protection.

We have to quit denying that our daughters are in danger when they are immodestly dressed, and when they are away from home. There is no guaranteed safe place in a public setting unless their parents are with them. There is certainly nothing risky about keeping our children around us. It is better to be safe, than to be sorry. Being protected by the family, does not mean a girl will be locked up in her house. Families go where they please, and daughters are alway safer in public when they are with their own families.

Cruises, colleges, apartments, dorms, and even the workplace, can be places where our precious daughters are in danger. No one wants to admit it, even after seeing the tragic results on the news. I do not even think that a school bus is safe for any child, but people will put their trust in other people to look after their children. There is an old saying that is appropriate here: if you want something done right, it is better to do it yourself. If you want your daughter to be safe, it is better to take care of her yourself, than to put her life in the hands of other people. They just are not as alert and they do not have the natural emotional attachment that makes us protectors of our children.BoldBold

Protecting our daughters does not mean theyBold will have no freedom or lack of fun. Families can do anything together. Daughters are not safe, even with a group of girls their own age, at a mall. In fact, that attracts more attention. Rarely does anyone "lose" their daughter when she is with the family or with her parents. The family was created to provide the protection that daughters need.
Personally, I see danger even in allowing girls to spend the night at others girls homes, for slumber parties, when there is a low adult/young person ratio.

If daughters cannot go anywhere by themselves safely, what can they do? The answer is not complicated: be accompanied by the parents and family. This provides a perfect opportunity for the mothers to take their rightful places in the daughters lives. They can take them out in the day time to various cultural activities that will also build their character. They can provide a social life within the home atmosphere. They can help them develop good taste in clothing and good standards in style.

Mothers need to be everything that a best friend would be. The great difference is that a mother will have the experience that is necessary to give a caution to their daughters and protect them, something that girlfriends are unable to do. Even if the parents do not provide a social life for their daughters, these young women can learn to be content at home with books and numerous quiet activities which require the use of the imagination.

At the basis of immodesty and unwise independence is a dependence on what others think. We must teach our daughters that their safety is more important than the social approval of others. Young women do not need to think that they cannot wear pretty clothes if they dress modestly. Immodest clothing is not very pretty at all.

They also do not need to fear that they will not have a social life. Families provide a much better social life than friends do. I have kept a guest books over the years, just to see how rich our social life at home was. I am amazed at the hundreds of signatures in these books. They did not come all at once. There were no huge gatherings. There was just enough for our family to enjoy evenings of singing or games. There was just enough to enjoy a meal together. There was just enough to create interesting activities that enriched the young people.
Families also provide better vacations and outings and have more knowledge of the world than young people. Daughters with such families who like to go out have a rich social life without being in danger.

Other families have done this, and today, they can say that their daughters lived in safety. Their daughters did not end up warped for life just because they did not dress in the current immodest attire and hold up a car wash sign. Their daughters did not end up without a personality just because they did not stay up all night partying with friends. These are well adjusted adults who now have families of their own.

We need to take another look at the way we are doing things in this country and to care more about the safety of our daughters than about their social standing with others.

The Pleasant Times is featuring a post about dressing with restraint. There are many new posts up on that blog for the month of June.

See this video about modest clothing.

Here is a link of the story of one woman's harrowing experience which involved two things: immodest dress and being alone without protection of family.
Please read that link.
There will always be those who will say I am advocating something that I am not, and so I will clarify:
I am not saying daughters should have absolutely no freedom, ever.
I am not advocating that people hide their daughters from the world, but that the world does have to go through the proper authorities and guardians before gaining access to these girls. Often girls would like to be protected but their parents are under their own kind of peer pressure to allow their daughters to roam free in public, at younger and younger ages; far too young to be safe.
I am not saying daughters have to be locked up in the house.
I am not saying we should throw a blanket over daughters when we take them out.
I am not saying that daughters should be treated as though they had no rights. Protecting them gives them more rights: the right to live in safety.
I am not saying girls can never go anywhere. There is nothing wrong with going with their families on outings or other places.
I am not saying daughters should not get married.
There are plenty of married women who were brought up within the protection of their parents that are happily married today.
Before jumping to conclusions about what I am saying, please be sure to read ALL the links provided within this article. The U.S. is not a safe place for young women alone. Just click on your news and see who is the current missing person and you will notice it is mostly the young women. There is nothing wrong with keeping these girls protected and alive. When young women are alone and are assaulted, they do not value their rights as much as they value their lives. They would much rather be home and safe, than be out having "freedom" with danger.

62 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
I agree wholeheartedly, even in my case where I only have sons. Their innocence is so precious and they only have us to protect it. There is *so* much immodesty at every turn, from billboards, posters in shop windows and especially television. I have felt inwardly so proud to see my teenage son turn his face, of his own accord, when walking past an immodest poster on a shop window. I'm sure I am not imagining it, but it seems to be getting so much worse and I often feel out of my depth trying to protect my boys from these immodest assaults that come into view. Often immodesty appears before us unexpectedly and it is difficult to avoid. I pray I will not lose this battle to raise decent sons.

Kind regards,
Sonya, Australia

Lori said...

ABSOLUTELY! My sentiments exactly. As parents, we have got to wake up and HEED THE WORD OF GOD. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Rhonda in Chile said...

Nicely said! I have long felt that the issue of modest versus immodest attire has ignored the word "shamefacedness". We cannot wear certain articles of clothing and be shamefaced. The clothing of today is the opposite of shamefaced. Its more that Deut. 22:5, its the whole package: Modesty, femininity, shamefacedness.


There are many reasons why girls are allowed the wander freely, unprotected. But mainly it starts in an attitude of the parents, of not wanting to put forth the effort to protect their daughters and at the same time, give them a fun and joyous girlhood. Its easier just to let her do whatever anyone else is doing.

Bless you!

Laryssa Herbert said...

Thank you for this wonderful post! I totally agree with what you've said.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Anonymous: You are right--sons need to be looked after, too. There is no reason for them to be hanging out in packs, either, and they too need to be with their families. After all they will become family men one day. If they develop restlessness in their youth, they will have a hard time settling down later as husbands and fathers. They need to be home, looking after the repairs and taking care of the garden and really enjoying the home. There is nothing "out there" that is better. These days, the home can be the center of culture and activity. We have our own libraries, the internet, even swimming pools and golf courses in some cases. People have their own food supply there, from ice cream to coffee, and there is a huge potential in the home for safe social lives.

Rhonda--I just love having visits from people in other countries. There is a new book that is available about the social lives of women in the Arabian countries (where Abraham of the Bible lived). These girls are dressed modestly from youth, and when they are teenagers they have to go about in cars with tinted windows. Though the boys do not even see the girls, when they see a car with tinted windows, they follow it. I am impressed. Parents follow a car with tinted windows, too. Both hand cards through the window with phone numbers. They dont even SEE the young ladies and they know there is something worth chasing, just because they saw the "veiling" or the protection of those tinted windows. There, the daughters are so valued that they have to wrap them up and protect them until the right man is accepted. What's more, I am impressed that these girls have to do NOTHING to attract a boy except be hidden. And, the men and women know they are made for each other for the purpose of marriage, and so young girls are extremely sought after, but for the right reasons, and the young men's parents have to go through the right channels to get to them and they have to make a huge commitment before they enter into anything beyond friendship. Our young ladies think they have to turn themselves inside out and wave a sign that says "I'm available" by their immodest dress. Don't panic because I am talking about the middle east. That is where our Biblical culture was once found, and there ways of protecting daughters are still very similar to the way it was done in the days of Abraham.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Home school parents have put some of these standards into place in their homes, and have been ridiculed unmercifully for it (including myself) but today, we are reaping the results of having these safe measures put into place. These children have become parents who carefully guard their own children and provide a social life for them. This is all the more reason for the women to be at home. Even without children, women at home can provide a culture for others who want a safe and wholesome social life.

Anonymous said...

Shamefacedness. Very interesting. I had never heard that term before. It makes perfect sense.

How can the mothers teach the daughters, when the mothers are running around looking worse and decidedly "Un-Shamefaced"?

When women start looking like women again, instead of trying to look like teens, maybe the teen girls can start being girls again.

I really liked the part about how there is nothing better "out there" that can't be found at home.

~ Ann

Kate said...

Great topic! Great conversation! I agree. With both sons and daughters and having done it both ways, I see the wisdom in keeping children close to home.

Mrs. Santos said...

"At the basis of immodesty and unwise independence is a dependence on what others think." I liked this from your post. How true! So often my family and friends have made comments about our modesty being extreme (we don't wear shorts or average swimsuits). Even my eight year old has said "It's not the olden days mom." I just tell her, we are not trying to live in the olden days - we are living to bring glory to God.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Mrs. Santos,

An elderly woman approached me recently and said, "You can give all kinds of safety reasons for modest dress,and shamefacedness, but you cannot leave out what God says about it."

Anonymous said...

There is so much more immodesty than there was back when I was in high school 20 years ago. A friend once told me we were the very last generation with any innocence. I don't know of many marriages that has not been affected by pornography, infedilty, divorce and so on. Most women in my age group have caught their husband viewing porn at least once and they were all devastated. What are women getting out of having other women's husbands gawk at them? Especially the young ones, why seek the attention of much older men that way? We used to laugh nervously when older men "hit on" us - even at a young age we knew how inappropriate it was. Now girls seek that attention and get it. I had one young woman hit on my husband when I was standing there. She leaned way over to flash him her chest in a low cut shirt and gazed into his eyes. Not exactly subtle.

Don't be so hard on mothers who don't dress modestly, please. You never know what they are going through. Many have been made to feel very unattractive by their husband's porn viewing habits and feel they have to compete by dressing a certain way to keep his attention. It makes a wife very insecure when husbands don't pay any attention when we dress modestly and try to be a good mother. They want something else, it seems. They come to expect a woman to look a certain way when they are exposed to so much.

I was dressing less modestly than I was comfortable doing in the hope of turning my own husband's head, not others. I have lately realized this is not the way to go and have decided to be more of a lady than that in the hopes that at least I can provide a good role model for my children.

As a mother of a girl, thank you to all the mothers trying to raise your boys to do better. You may be saving my daughter the heartache I face thanks to a mother in law who was extremely permissive with her boys when they were growing up. I don't usually write so much, but this issue hits a nerve today. I cried my eyes out last night over some of these issues.

Laura Ashley said...

I wanted to alert everyone to this skirt, (http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/browse/productDetailWithPicker.jsp?product), which is beautiful, modest and only $19.99. It is at NY & Company, which is in malls across the country.

Lindsay said...

Here's something worth thinking over regarding sleepovers: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2000/november/04/sleepovers/

That's enough to make me say no to them!

Lindsay said...

Here's something worth thinking over regarding sleepovers: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2000/november/04/sleepovers/

That's enough to make me say no to them!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post. I agree completely.

--Christine from Arizona

Trixie said...

Amen!

I was not raised in a Christian home, actually my father was an athiest, but very old fashioned.

My father took special care to keep his girls from harm. (Again, not because the bible charges parents to keep their children safe, but just out of common sense). We went to a public school and were exposed to other children that were allowed to do all sorts of who knows what. Sometimes we felt bad for not being allowed to join in and didn't really understand our father's reasoning.

As adults, we've all expressed how thankful we were that our dad was so careful to keep us from situations where we might be exposed to harm -- emotionally or physically.

You know, it really is amazing how gracious God is to me. Even being raised by an athiest -- God provided protection for me through a man that did not believe in Him.

Blessings,

Trixie

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Trixie, I am glad you brought this up. Many cultures protect their women today, not because they are trying to mechanically obey a scripture but because they know it is only right to protect your own flesh and blood. Many people in America seem to have detached themselves from the natural protective instinct toward their daughters. There are countries that value their women so much they do not put them in harms way, yet in the US people will tell you that there is no harm out there and that if girls go everywhere in groups, they will be okay. In the 1960's when the nurses in California were killed, they were living in a group in an apartment together. Family living was created for many functions besides just having children. The home allows protection for sons and daughters and prepares them to protect their own future children. I do not know why anyone would insist that there is no danger to young woman in the public. Just last week on a prominent university campus a girl was forced to drive a man somewhere and forced to give him money out of an ATM machine. That was someones daughter, who could very well have been harmed worse than she was. Would anyone say that they can guarantee that young girls will be safe in the public without their parents or brothers? I don't understand why Americans keep insisting that it is okay. They are taking dangerous chances. It does not hurt girls to be protected. Families do a lot of travelling together and girls can see the world that way. They do not need to be off on their own or with a group of friends, to have freedom or see life. The family provides it very well. This is all the more reason for the mothers to be home keeping their daughters busy learning about life.

Anonymous said...

Dear LadyLydia, Thank you so much for this timely article. I have been dressing modestly (dresses only) for about 2 years and recently was wondering if I was going overboard. Thank you for reminding me right at the right time - actually, thank you Lord for directing me here to keep me on the straight and narrow path.
Blessings,
Patricia

the Mrs. said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Yesterday was my daughters 5th grade graduation ceremony. We thought a new dress was in order and spent over an hour searching for something appropriate. It was exhausting trying to find a dress for my 11 year old daughter that didn't look like it belonged on a cocktail lounge singer. After much searching a dress was purchased and I must say that she looked beautiful. Unfortunately, there were so many little girls at that ceremony who had less luck. My heart just ached seeing those precious babies dressed so tawdry. Do their mothers not care, think there is nothing wrong with being immodest or could they just not find something more appropriate? I pray that it is the latter....

Thank you for this post.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Lydia,

This is a profound and timely article!! I have been priveledged to know several ladies (one in particular and her family) who, in accordance with their faith, practice the modesty and protection you speak of. Of this group, several practice similar protections to those you highlight in your comments on ladies of Bible lands - in biblical times and today. these ladies are protected by their husbands, their daughters by their fathers (and brothers if there are any) and they don't miss out; the atmosphere in their homes is one of oasis from the madness of the world outside but they are not deprived in any way ...by no means... though modestly attired and centred on the family, these ladies are wise, full of common sense and their daughters are beautiful young women, articulate, happy, intellegent and by no means left to feel like they are somehow being held back from something more...as families they experience the enobling things of life together; hospitality, socializing with the community, wider family and friends, picnics, barbecues, the best of the culture, travel (here and overseas). the world may consider them somehow being kept from what is rightfully theirs, but believe you me, from knowing them personlly over the years, this couldn't be further from the truth. We have lost a lot in the 'West' and for what? the hurt and harm of our sons and daughters...

Re the commenter who went through school in the 80's, I second her; our generation was the last to know true innocence; dress, home, life; how many of our number have been swept along by the 'prevailing norms' of wider society only to not extend this same innocence to our little ones.

Several commenters raised truly big problems that our culture faces; even our Christian culture, with men's habits and the erosive effects they have on the family and so many women... I wonder whether the Amish, Menonite and Closed Brethren have it right after all...

Back to the ladies I mentioned above, though 'covered up' modestly, they are also modestly beautiful.Not too long ago, such modest beauty was the norm in the West also...we have thrown away so much and let so much simply slide.

Keep on speaking out for truth,

Sarah.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The clothes you describe are also mde for toddlers. It is known in mothers circles as "prosti-tot" wear.

Looking for clothes for your daughter makes you want to just buy some nice fabric, cut a hole in the top, and pull it over their heads, tying it with a big ribbon around the waist. Manufactured clothing is gone down hill and is not more advanced than the Victorian clothing that was hand stitched and fitted to the person's shoulders and arms, etc. Today the clothing looks like cut up trash sacks. That is one reason that I have been sewing victorian costumes, altering them a little for every day wear. I have not found any other style that is as well structured.

Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Regarding when mothers don't dress modestly....First up, many current fashions, as bad as they look on young women, generally look FAR worse on a middle-aged woman's body. Also, as far as modesty, what looks immodest on a young woman, just looks sad and pathetic on an older woman.

I feel for women who have husbands with p*rn addiction, but I can't see how playing into it by dressing poorly would help. A wife who is trying to compete with these "actresses" is never going to be able to keep up anyway. I'd rather keep my dignity.

~ Ann

Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...

I really thought it was good that you advocated protection for young girls by being with their families.

Do not think that modest and/or religious clothing ALONE will protect a woman. The criminal element will go after any woman (these criminals -- rapists -- hate women -- it is lust and anger combined) who looks vulnerable or like a potential victim by exhibiting a lack of confidence; naivity, carelessness and brazenness by immodest dress; vulnerability and innocence by religious garb; and by wandering around alone.

I have noticed that Amish and Mennonite, Hutterite women, who wear attention-getting religious garb, ALWAYS travel in groups, usually with a male escort.

I have noticed, too, that these kidnappers/rapists prey on women who are alone and DISTRACTED by trying to communicate with somebody on a cell phone in the middle of the sidewalk or something like that. Such a person is easy to snatch, because they are unaware of who and what is around them.

ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings!

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Sarah,

Even the women who wear clothing that represents their religion, still have to be careful and be in the company of a father or brother or husband. If they are out together in groups of just women, it is usually the daytime, however, even they can be vulnerable and they too believe that families can provide the social life for the daughters. That does not mean you have to be in the house, because many familys are on the go and find things to do in the community, or take interesting vacations together and trips, when the children are young.

I was reading some blogs about this post, which accused me of totally fabricating the need for caution with our daughters, implying that there was no such thing as kidnapping here in the US..please read the links I provided if you think this is just a bunch of hype. And,even if it was not happening, it does not mean we should allow daughters to be out from under authority in the presence of peers all the time. Home is for much much more than just providing food and clothing. THe family is there for a far greater reason than material things.Critics of this post will have to do some growing up and get a good dose of reality before they can see the wisdom in being careful.There is also the spiritual side, which we follow, and that is that children will be blessed if they honor their parents, and that parents have a responsibility to protect their daughters and sons.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

I have heard the argument before that women think they have to dress provocatively because their husbands like that. We are never required to violate God's will, and women are told to dress in modest apparel. The apostles said,"We must obey God, rather than man," when they were told to do something contrary to God's law, by a magistrate. The Christian is a citizen of a different kingdom. The men do not have a higher authority than God and their will cannot override Gods will.

Anonymous said...

I was only saying that moms who do not dress "modestly" may be under a tremendous amount of pressure from outside sources to dress the way they do. I am not saying it is right, but asking for some understanding of how complex the issue really can be. If girls are encouraged to dress beyond their years, mothers are certainly expected to dress "younger". And I can, at a size 8. No one can "compete" with p**n actresses, but anyone whose husband is looking at these things knows he is looking at women who are portrayed as younger, more fun, better in nearly every way than the wife -airbrused perfection. Same goes for women whose husbands are actually cheating. It would be very, very hard to watch your husband being ensnared by a harlot dressed the way they do these days when you are sitting home in a pretty dress making dinner or sewing, doing nothing to deserve it. Men use the excuse their wife is boring to have affairs. Many equate modesty with being unexciting. If someone is trying, even in a misguided way, to save her marriage, to prevent her children from being fatherless and dirt poor, well, I just don't like to judge.

We should be worrying about middle age women these days as much as girls, because the immodesty is starting with the older women. But what is driving them to dress the way they do? Severe pressure from society and probably at home as well. One quick flip through the tv channels and you will find talk about "cougars", "Desperate Housewives", the reality show featuring plastic Janice Dickinson...on and on. And that is regular cable, not premium, which features much worse. This site is great, I really think highly of it and I completely agree that there needs to be a change in how women are dressing these days, but some of us face tremendous pressure to do otherwise and some understanding would go a long way.

I have neighbors and who suggest I think I am better than them if I dress in a skirt when I am staying home. I've got extended family members who suggest I am being "holier than thou" if it's not flip-flops and tight jeans. I got so tired of being picked on wearing dresses, and they really were pretty. I felt like they were coming between me and everyone around me, building a wall, and not in a good way, but in a way that left me isolated.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Lydia,

Your response to my contribution reaffirms the type of thing I was trying to convey. Fear not, I am 100% in agreement with you... These ladies I know are actively part of their families - as I mentioned, it is with their families they are provided the protection by husbands, fathers, brothers that ensures safety in a hostile world (mentioning my contact with such families) also mentioning that these ladies are not without experience - travelling and living life, here and when opportunity affords, overseas with their families in the shelter of their family's love and protective safety. I have heartily agreed with you every step of the way...fear not...I fear my words of encouragement and affirmation have been accidently seen as the opposite...I agree with you - 100% and have shared my experiences here in Aus with families that do live the family centred life (as well as modest attire). Yes, modesty alone will not protect; the safety of the stable family unit is the best (and Biblical) way ...

It is of concern indeed that so many girls, and boys, young women are not given the safety of family that protects... AS for abduction rackets and slavery, the US news holds nothing new there; in Australia there have been several governmental enquiries into this, with ringleaders convicted and the poor young girls given a chance to rebuild their lives...In australia, this dark practice extends from SE Asia (the intricacies are deeply grievous)...

Fear not, I am in agreement with you, all the way, sharing of my own experiences here to reaffirm the vital message you are sharing.

Blessings,

Sarah.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

It is true that older women are poor examples. I think the way they dress can also be the lack of choices. It is harder to look for something decent and many people will not go to the extra trouble to find things.

The pressure is indeed great, for all women. The purpose of the critics is to see if they can breajk you down and then cause you to give up.

If you give up, they think you didn't believe in something strongly enough to withstand the criticism.

I have written posts for years about the older women and the way so any of thenm dress. Even when they weigh more than they did when teens, or have sagging skin, and huge veins, they insist on displaying it all to the world. What may have looked really cute whe they were little girls, just make the older women look older than they should. No younger woman would saym "I really want to look like her, when I am her age." They admire the women who are growing older gracefully while wearing clothing that has some dignity. When women first began wearing jeans, they did so only when they had to, and never wore them in public. Now, it is the order of the day. It is so boring. Aren't the styles supposed to change every season? Why then, do we see the low cut jeans and short tops that make you look pregnant--why are we still seeing them after nearly 20 years? Isn't it time for this to be over? That style does not look good on older women. It is not all their fault. The designers and manufactures seem to have everyone held hostage to these clothes.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Anonymous: I have heard that old saying "you think you are better than others" applied over the years to just about any kind of morality. For example, even 40 years ago, if girls didn't want to drink or smoke, and insisted on dressing modestly, their peers would say "Do you think you have something more special than other people? Aren't you being self righteous? Have you got something to hide? Aren't you being holier-than-thou? (a quote from the BIble, by the way). It is almost always used to break down someone's resolve. It is used on just about everything that they want to destroy. Sometimes they do not like your well kept home so they will say sarcastically, "everything is so neat and tidy, but not everyone can live like this. You must think you are better than they are." Just observe and you will see the holier-than-thou method used on everything that is good and lovely and pure. It is one of the signs of rebellion. Girls who wanted to keep their purity in the 1960's were accused of being snobs or self righteous. This kind of thing has been going on for years. Don't worry about it and don't take it to heart. It is an old tactic used by the crowd. Its the same old thing. Just tell them to focus on the way they dress, and you can focus on the way you dress. This has been going on for many years because people want to dumb down the world to their level. Any attempt to raise up a standard is always attacked.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Lady Lydia for your excellent, thoughtful response. I am going to think long and hard about it so the next time I encounter such criticism, I will remember what you have said. I am going to try once again with the dresses, keeping your comments in mind.

I do appreciate your consideration and I truly value your opinion because you clearly "walk the walk". I have a lot of respect for that.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

anonymous: just tell the next person who makes those comments: "That is not very original. Those kiinds of things have been said to people for years and years to make them ashamed of being modest, or ashamed of fixing their hair or being pretty." I remember when the slop-chic look first came. If anyone dared to fix their hair up or wear regular clothes outside of jeans and tee shirts they were accused of thinking they were better than others. That was in the 60's. They called you a snob ifyou wore a hat or gloves. It is still going on. The minute you put on a skirt someone says something to run you down. They are snobs, trying to lord it over others. Say, "I am wearing a dress but I am not tellng anyone else to do it. I'm just doing it because I like it better. It makes me happy. Don't you want me to be happy?"

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

We were at an amusement park on a lake today.

My nineteen year old son told me soon after we arrived that even he was shocked at how some of the young girls were dressed.

We also noticed older women who were overweight who wore tight and short clothing (sometimes just beach jackets over a bathing suit) and wondered if they realized just how horrible they looked.

It would be bad enough for someone with a slender figure to be dressed that way.

Dress was a point of a lot of conversation (but no debate in this family) today.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Could you list some of the verses that pertain~particularly about how the thigh being exposed is considered nakedness. I believe everything you say here and believe there is much in the Bible that teaches that what we see today even in the church is an abomination, yet, when one tries to deal with this issue with others that want to believe it doesn't matter it can be difficult to find the verses that express what God says/feels about this issue.
Thank you.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Gen 9:23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.

This is kind of like handing someone a towel through the door when they forgot one, and just turning your head when they reach for it, for propriety sake.



Exo 20:26 Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.

When people walk up steps, if their clothing is short, others behind them can see their nakedness. This reminds me that for many years before this time, women were taught to go up stairs behind the men, and to go down stairs in front of the men. That makes a lot of sense. I dont know when this custom was abandoned, but I do remember that we used to follow that rule.

Exo 28:42 And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:

breeches are trousers. I suppose we got our old fashioned expression "britches" from that.

Lev 18:6-17-seious warnings aganst looking at nakedness


Hab 2:15 Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!

1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel,

Mar 5:15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.

This is interesting because when the man was running around naked, he was not sane, but when he was in his right mind, he wore clothes.

If you will write "nakedness" into your e-sword, you will see a lot of verses about what to do about nakedness. We are supposed to clothe the naked ;-) Unfortunately, the clothiers we have in this country design clothes to make people look naked, so they are of no use.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The name of the book on tape from the library is "THe Girls From Riyad"-- someone sent me the following review:

"I just finished it this week and what a powerful story.
I don't like the sarcasm or words against men but the culture is
facinating and I learned a lot. It has some feminist overtones but
gives you a secret birdeye view into their lives. Marriage is very
important and the Arab men have a different view on love. It is very
much arranged and there is much tragedy without decisions which I do
see as unscriptural. Not the part of arranging a marriage but not
giving choice to either the male or female."

The reviewer still says it has a powerful message and shows what we are doing to destroy ourselves and our daughters by the way they are dressed and by not protecting them in public. So many girls are missing today or dead. Someone recently wrote that her daughter wanted to go to a certain place and her parents were against it. Not a day later, someone in a van tried to snatch a young woman and pull her into it, in that very same location that the girl wanted so badly to go.

If you think parents are over-protective, you better grow up, wake up, and wise up.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The thing I found the most interesting about the book on tape is that these girls were so highly valued for marriage. There would be only one reason for the boys to be interested in them: for the long term commitment, not for playing around or using them. I was certainly not advocating tinted windows or veils, but it sure would not hurt to disguise young girls a little better with less seductive, provocatie clothing, if parents want to protect them. The feminists shriek that women should be free to do anything they want, even if it endangers them and others. Groups are not necessarily safer for women. If even one girl is immodestly dressed, it can attract the wrong type of attention.

Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...

Your comments are great, Lydia. Also, from now on, I will not let comments like, "You think you are better..." or "You are holier than thou" get to me. They are always said of anyone who wants to live right. Frankly, I'm more content these days to keep to myself. Even other Christian women can pull you down and away from you resolve to do better.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Mary, another word is "extreme." They try to intimidate anyone who doesn't look exactly like the rest of the world, by saying they are "extreme." Other phrases are "fundamentalist, straight laced, Victorian prude," etc. These are designed to make you self conscious, but actually they are beside the point.

I wonder why the strange hair styles with blue paint and the next to nothing tops that make girls look pregnant, and the shorts that older overweight women wear, are not referred to as wacko, extreme, or nutty? Perhaps people have gotten so used to seeing the jewelry in the face and the stomach and the tattoos on the arms and the shaved hair dos that it looks normal, and the feminine look of longer hair and a long skirt looks wierd. The Bible says "woe to them that call good bad, and bad, good." Alexandre Soljenitzen said that in Soviet Russia you could hear a lie so much that after awhile you didn't know the difference between a lie and the truth. That is what has happened here.

Kalianne@theBowerbird'sNest said...

Oh this is such wise advice! I'm so glad you keep this blog, it's a wonderful resource of information and encouragement for families. It's a stuggle in today's western culture to present an attractive alternative of dress and behaviour to our young people. Your blog is truly inspiring. Thank you!

Kalianne@theBowerbird'sNest said...

Anonymous said,

“Many have been made to feel very unattractive by their husband's porn viewing habits and feel they have to compete by dressing a certain way to keep his attention...”

My heart goes out to all women in this situation. It 's a sad indictment on our society that married women should be feel this way.

For women who find themselves in this situation, please don't be tempted to lower the Biblical standard of womanhood to accommodate a husband's problem. Be firm, maintain your self-respect and reverence toward God. You'll be much happier.

Pray for your husband! The power of a praying wife is awesome.

Understand that pornography undermines marriages and is a serious issue. If you can, talk to your husband. Many men feel guilty and may open up if you treat the issue prayerfully and wisely. Ask God to help you remain calm and firm and give you the right words to say before you speak to him. Offer to pray for him. Consider seeking outside help from a pastor or other professional you trust. Move forward prayerfully.

Rather than dressing immodestly to keep his attention, consider the following:

~Determine what colour fabrics enhance your complexion. Wearing flattering colours will make you shine! Seek the help of a friend or a professional consultant. There are helpful books and DVDs too.

~Find what styles of clothing flatter your shape. Wear stylish clothing. You'll get the right kind of attention this way ie: admiration instead of lust.

~Exercise. It's good for your health, it's a mood enhancer and a confidence builder.

~Cultivate inner happiness and beauty of character. Be true to yourself.

BUT remember, even beautiful and physically blessed women have husband's with a pornography problem! Often it has little to do with wives. It is a spiritual and moral problem of the husband. Prayer and godly counselling are more important than a woman stressing about her appearance.

Blessings,
Kalianne

Mrs. Anna T said...

Excellent! Every word is true.

~Kayla said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Thank you so much for that post. I agree with you 100%. I can attest to everything that you say. I am 19 years old and my parents did for me as you have written. I did not feel like I was "left out" of society or fun. I felt (and feel) safe and protected; and I have meaningful relationships with my family (my mom is my best friend) and those around me. Thank you again for your words of wisdom.

In Christ,
Kayla

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Kayla, Thank you for taking the time to give evidence of your great upbringing, and congratulations to your parents for raising an honoring daughter who is not only emotionally well balanced and undamaged by the world's careless consideration for girls, but who is also alive. There are many daughters whose parents were talked in to giving them freedom to go out alone or with friends, who did not fare so well . Your upbringing was also for the purpose of being able to teach your children the same things and having the evidence of your own experience with protective parents, you will have confidence in protecting your own. Many parents are first-generation protectors--meaning that they were not protected themselves and they want to spare their own children the heartache of rape, abduction, or being used. Home was created as a place for family members to live and have a social life--the street was not. People wait for congress to pass laws to protect people, and in the meantime, more and more daughters disappear or die. It would be faster and easier just to take our daughters out of the public at night and keep them home. It isn't the end of the world. It is actually more creative and less boring than what they do "out there" with a pack of friends. I know many young girls that were protected by their parents, and these girls today know how to sew clothing and keep house and take over the office work at home. Some of them have helped their families become very successful. Most have gone on to marry, while their liberated peers are still lookiing for mates, and finding it more difficult, even though they have more freedom.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

For those who want to know more about what the scriptures say about nakedness, type in the word on your e-sword or find a Bible reference online. There were a lot of verses that said that a rebellious nation was "naked" and that a person who would not repent of his sins was "in shame in his nakedness" and many times verses came up that said the nakedness was "to be pitied." Nakedness is not something to be celebrated or flaunted--it is to be pitied. Shame was also connected with nakedness,, and this was not just people without clothing.

Skimpy clothing is a danger to women wearing it, but they will be in denial and proclaim that their freedom is more important than their safety. But, when they are attacked or die, what good was their freeom in exchange for immodesty? It is better to be safe, than to be sorry. Girls might be afraid if they dress nmodestly that they will be frumpy or dowdy, but that is not true.There is a lot of lovely fabric available and even nice styles you can get through catalogs. The Bible says "seek and ye shall find."

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

I would like to comment on the militant objection that some young people seem to have to protecting our daughters. They assume we are following middle east customs, but it goes back further than that. As you said, our spiritual roots are in the Biblical examnples that were written for our learning and for our protection. We see the courtship of Isaac and Rebecca, for example. She was home with her family, and not out dating, and yet the servant found her and she agreed to marry Isaac. Our way of sending girls out on dates is not safe, and has resulted in tragedies both physically and emotionally, and yet young people will protest as though they are being sentenced to some horrible life at the mere suggested of familly oriented courtship.

It is sad that the old ways are considered a danger to many.There will always be abusers of any belief system but that does not nullify the system.

Appreciating a culture that has honored time worthy principles is not wrong There are more abuses from a liberal society that distroys the fabric of the home and unravels it before tying the knots of marriage. What about the men who murder young women on dates or date rape or liberal men who murder their wives? That has nothing to do with following God's word on femininity.

What about all the great men who lay their lives down for their wives in God fearing homes. Why aren't they mentioned? These critics only see the abuses of power but not the benefit of honoring God's word. They have a point regarding abuse of some cultures yet it is not a sound reason to disobey God's word.

Their issues are a confusion over God's word mixed with mans sin. Their issues are mostly with not understanding scripture or with God's word, not you. We must make the word the only issue they have to argue with and by stepping out of the way, they may see that.

Anonymous said...

You said "Any attempt to raise up a standard is always attacked." Oh, how true it is!!! I enjoyed this article very much, & many of the thoughtful comments that followed.

Brenda

Anonymous said...

I heard one family use a certain word when they are out in public. Any word will do if the family knows what it means. When someone{who has noticed something unapropriate} in the family says that word all the others keep their eyes down to avoid seeing it themselfs. It seems almost impossible to avoid unmodest dress and conduct anymore when you are out even for a short time. We are staying home more and more and are enjoying it more and more! People say you cannot find modest dress for girls {or boys} anymore...that is not so. Thankyou for this article. Jody

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Jody, they are like toddlers in that they do not want to keep clothing on. The biggest complaint these days is the way girls dress for church, a place where people are trying to keep their minds on things that are holy. People do not dare say anything to them or they get so defensive and even threaten to sue.

Anonymous said...

In the churches in our town no woman wore a slack suit till half way into the seventies. Everyone still remembers that day!! The first date I had with my husband I wore my usual modest dress and stockings. Who would have thought to wear any slack outfit? I was the only women there in a dress. I felt a bit out of place. He said no I was fine it was them that were wrong. He said my modesty and innocence as compared to the other women he knew was what attracted him to me. That was over 40 years ago!! Yes I have been embarrased by some of the clothing I have seen at church. I have changed seats to not see it even. Also some of the people tend to sway or move in odd brazen manners to the songs. They don't realize what it looks like to others. I do though wonder why their husbnds or wifes do not at least say something to them. Don't they want their mates to be respected? I wonder if I should. Then I realize I am thinking of them and not what the Pastor is saying or such. It is all so distracting. We are there to worship our Lord and not to show off in any way. Jody

Anonymous said...

I saw a girl once in church and I felt sorry for her. She was sitting next to her father in a super short, super-revealing strappy dress. She was clearly having second thoughts about her choice of attire as she was pulling down on the dress as if doing so would make it longer. But, of course, that was dragging the skimpy top down. She spent the Mass pulling on the dress, one way then another. It was so embarrassing for her and everyone who saw her to see that. Her father should have been embarrassed too, but he seemed not to notice what everyone was seeing.

Anonymous said...

The link to the "harrowing experience" was eye opening. Those who think it is "cruel" to protect women either have their heads in the sand or are in denial. Opinion about whether or not it is right to escort a girl in public is just that, but facts are still facts, and opinion does not change the fact that more and more women are being attacked and killed when they are out alone. Being alone and immodestly dressed is a deadly combination. Civilia's article argued that case very well. I would urge everyone to read it at Civilia's Cyber Cafe. Which is more cruel: to allow girls to run free without protection and have them risk death, or to escort them and have them alive and safe? What in the world would a girl want to do on the sly or behind her parents back, anyway, if she was a nice girl? I do not understand this insistance by feminists that women should be on their own all the time and their ridicule of parents who protected their daughters. If these feminists want to raise their daughters by letting them loose on the street in immodest clothes, then I say, they are the parents, they can do as they like with their own daughters, but let the ones who want to raise them differently, accompaniy them when they see fit. It does absolutely no harm. I was one of those daughters, and I am not stunted in any way because of it. I am more aware than many naive girls who were allowed to go out alone. Those friends of mine who had more negligent parents, are now having very troubled lives. Yes, they had more freedom than I did, but they are reaping the emotional and physical damage from it. All the time they ridiculed and doubted the way I was being raise, but my parents efforts paid off. There was plenty of freedom within those boundaries set by my family, and I learned to do a lot of things that my "free" friends never did. Today, many of them still cannot cope with life, in spite of all the freedom they had as teens. JJ

Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...

Lady Lydia, if a woman can acknowledge some responsibility in what happened to her in the case of rape (if that is the case -- I know it is not always the case) it helps, because she knows that she can perhaps do something to prevent it again in the future.

If she can say, "I believe my immodest clothing and/or walking around alone perhaps garnered the wrong kind of attention from the criminal element," she can make sure she does not dress like that any more.

The same with being able to admit other things: I should not have been so visible when I was out alone; I should not have been oblivious of my surroundings by being on my cell phone out in the parking lot, or whatever.

If I can figure out what I could possibly have done to prevent it, I can possibly prevent it from happening again. Now I have some power. Some control.

If you feel that nothing you did had ANYTHING to do with what happened to you, with some commission of a fault like scanty clothing in the case of a rape, or some faulty omission like carelessness, being unaware of your surroundings, letting somebody in your home when you were alone, or walking around alone, (again in the case of a rape), then things can happen like this all the time, any time, and I can't do anything about it, except take some karate course that may not actually help in the time of danger (like if the criminal has a gun).

This is not a feeling of POWER, which the feminists say we should have. This is a feeling of POWERLESSNESS! If I know that I can do SOMETHING, like dress modestly, or be aware of my surroundings, or not let in strangers, or not wander around alone, then I can DO something, and protect myself. That makes me feel powerful.

Feeling like the only thing we women can do to protect ourselves is educate criminals...or take some almost-worthless karate class that may only give a false sense of security but comes up short in the actual crisis, well, that doesn't leave me feeling very powerful or like I can protect myself.

And, speaking of education, how do you educate the lust-and-anger-crazed person, or the person who is on drugs or drunk on alcohol??

I don't want to count on the possibility of educating somebody who may or may not be able to be educated, or want to be educated. I want to do something to PROTECT MYSELF. THAT is power.

By feminists insisting that immodest clothing and/or being in dangerous places alone has nothing whatever to do with rape (and I acknowledge that it does not ALWAYS have something to do with rape), they take away from us a great empowering tool -- modesty, and protection by having others with us out in public.

Modest clothing is power for a woman, in giving her dignity, in thwarting prying eyes, and possibly sometimes in helping her to avoid a rape by not garnering unwanted attention from the criminal element.

There ARE several things a woman can do to keep herself from being assaulted (granted, not in every instance), and modest clothing and being with others when out in public whenever possible are TWO of those things. We should not allow the knowledge of these things to be taken away from us. That is not helping women. It is leaving us vulnerable and powerless.

Women SHOULD be able to walk down the street alone and/or naked and not have anybody assault or rape her, as the feminists say, but WE ARE NOT able to, because we do not live in a perfect world, and all the education of males, (criminal and non-criminal) will not change that.

That is reality. Let's live out of that and protect ourselves and our loved ones.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Before I move on to my future posts, I would like to remind anyone interested in the safety of their daughters to read the following reports:

http://www.oregoncatalyst.com/index.php/archives/2275-Oregon-is-a-hub-for-sex-slavery.html

http://civillascybercafe.blogspot.com/2009/06/modesty-and-victim-awareness-measure-of.html

http://mypeacefullychaoticlife.blogspot.com/2009/06/silly-or-discerning.html

I don't think there is anything about my post that I will retract. I don't think it is ridiculous to accompany a daughter in public. I heard one daughter who had gotten tired of the ridicule of being with her mother say, "I'm escorting my mother" After that, her detractors shut their mouths. When she continued to live at home til she married, she explained that she was looking after her Mother. I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Of course there are safe times and places for daughters to go out alone, and never did I say they could not ever ever ever ever go anywhere. I hope everyone understands this and will not draw conclusions that are not meant.The world may be an entirely different place by the time some daughters are teen agers, and some people may change their minds completely by then, and become even more radical than they say I am!

Please, read the links.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

I am going to be closing this and moving on to other, new articles and issues. Thank you for participating and for your comments. Please go and read the article at Civilia's Cyber Cafe. It is very important, as it clears up a lot of misconceptions about protecting our young daughters.

If you have never raised a daughter and you have not encountered the social dangers, it is difficult for you to make a good judgement regarding how a girl should be protected.

Even back in the 1950's there were some very unsafe practices going on regarding young daughters. This is a free country, it is true, and yes, we should be able to go out alone and be safe, but it is not the reality; it is a dream world. No one who has raised a daughter has regretted the precautions they took, and no daughter ended up warped or ruined because she did not go out at night with friends to party.

Again, ladies, please read the links on the article and the ones I posted on the previous comment.

Lady B said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Thanks for yet another engaging post on a subject that is so relevant especially to us ladies.

I have seen many older women who dress more like their teenage daughters or even worse in some cases...I dont want to judge them...as i have walked their path of life...

But generally, its very, very, very hard for me to give respect to an older lady (the age of my mother or so) dressed up like a teenager!!!!.short skimpy skirt and all...It so hard to respect such a lady!

By dressing in that way, what is our motive, attention from the world, men, etc, showing off...one physical attributes, financial etc..
Its one thing to take care of ones self--dress well, eat well, by all means, its another to present oneself to the outside world looking like a 'lady of the night'

There is a need to return to the good old bible truth, what is beauty anyway? Lasting/Unfading beauty is not found in the outside adornment, the bible says, but instead it it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1st Pet 3:4

Lady B said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Thanks for yet another engaging post on a subject that is so relevant especially to us ladies.

I have seen many older women who dress more like their teenage daughters or even worse in some cases...I dont want to judge them...as i have walked their path of life...

But generally, its very, very, very hard for me to give respect to an older lady (the age of my mother or so) dressed up like a teenager!!!!.short skimpy skirt and all...It so hard to respect such a lady!

By dressing in that way, what is our motive, attention from the world, men, etc, showing off...one physical attributes, financial etc..
Its one thing to take care of ones self--dress well, eat well, by all means, its another to present oneself to the outside world looking like a 'lady of the night'

There is a need to return to the good old bible truth, what is beauty anyway? Lasting/Unfading beauty is not found in the outside adornment, the bible says, but instead it it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1st Pet 3:4

Anonymous said...

Lydia,

If I could squeeze in under the fence, just one more comment, I would appreciate it. (Thanks for leaving it open.)

I know a lot of young people mock you unmercifully at the mere mention of modesty or parental authority. That is one thing the UN is trying to do in the recent attempt in the Oregon legislature to give equal rights to children. The children will have protected speech and protected rights to go out at night, without restrictions by parents. It is an attempt to get rid of the parents involvment in the children.

My post is more about the ridicule that one often gets when warning about safety for girls on college campuses. Those who say it is safe are in total, total denial. They need to wake up. On major campuses there are "Security Safety Cars." These are not designed for the police. They are not designed for the college officials. It is a service created for girls on campus. It tells by its very words on the side of the car, that campus is not a safe place. I ask,why the big furor over a mother or father taking their daughter somewhere, when colleges find it necessary to provide an escorted car to take them the same place? Methinks it has something to do with lack of respect for parents, else, why would they think it is okay for another person to drive a special car to protect girls? Why not admmit it is okay for parents to drive their daughters to school?Is freedom so important that we risk their lives?

There are a lot more girls who have been assaulted, or come very close to tragedy, on campuses, and will not admit it. Many of them were in groups when they were hit on, and many of them think it is just normal and happens every day.

For those who think it is being overly cautious to warn people to take care of their girls, I would like to say that you must have a different agenda. Perhaps you think life is based on psychological thinking, or that life is based on chance, and that if something happens, people can always get over it and rebuild their lives. There is more fear mongering going on against people who want to warn others. Yes they call us nut cases, but they do not know what is going on in the real world. They are living in their socialist utopia that says everything is okay if you believe it is, and that restricting anyone will "harm" them, and this is not proven.

Thanks for letting me have my say. Amy M.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Amy M.

Some people think everyone should raise their daughters without restraint. Others want to be responsible parents and raise them with knowledge and wisdom. This is not a new idea. Just 50 years ago, it was normal for society to feel that way about girls, whether they were religious or not! Now, if someone dares to submit that daughters need to be protected, they are immediately accused of being a cult, a wack-job, a fear-monger. It is mostly the young that believe in the idea that no one needs to be cared for; that everyone is okay on their own and that there is no danger. It is mostly the young that label any attempt to caution for safety, as "locking up" or "depriving." I dont imagine any young girl who has suffered an attack will ever say, "The important thing is that I had my freedom to go as I pleased." The important thing to such a girl, is that she have protection. No one in their right mind would say that parents should not provide protection for their daughters.

Please read the following:

http://www.oregoncatalyst.com/index.php/archives/2275-Oregon-is-a-hub-for-sex-slavery.html

http://civillascybercafe.blogspot.com/2009/06/modesty-and-victim-awareness-measure-of.html

http://mypeacefullychaoticlife.blogspot.com/2009/06/silly-or-discerning.html


Just a hundred years ago, women wore shawls and long skirts, yet theyy were not considered religious fanatics. Many of them were not even religious at all. It was part of the style but also part of the basic believe of modesty and shamefacedness that most women believed in, religious or not! The loose woman, the one who called out to men on the street, were dressed with plunging necklines and shorter skirts, no hats or shawls.

Just watch some of the old silent documentaries such as "The Electric Edwardians" on Netflix and notice how women walked alone without escorts, amongst the men of society. The women's clothing did not attract the baser types of men and they were respected for it. You can read a lot more about this in the clothing chapter of the book,, "The Benevolence of Manners" by Linda Lichter. She researched the way the women dressed and quoted some things from de Toqueville about how protected women were and how they were able to go practically anywhere and the men would always protect them. Due to militant feminism, women are not respected by society in general, and we cannot trust that society will look after them. That is why the role of the family is so important.

Please read the links I provided within the article.

Domestically Inclined said...

We rasied sons, and Oh, how I prayed mothers would protect their daughters modesty! Now I have granddaughters and their parents will thankfully take this seriously, and as a granparent I can encourage the word of God in these loving precious little girls.

Ace said...

Lady Lydia,

Excellent post. I can assure you and your readers that I have a background in criminal justice and my entire family is in some form of LE and kidnapping is a HUGE problem in the US along with sex slavery. It isn't publicized much because people would panic.

As I have pointed out to people who have accused me of being to overprotective of my children (keep in mind..they are TODDLERS and I am susposed to be letting them "visit" strangers on their own...or I am stifling them) any rapist, murderer or molester is not going to waste their time going after my children, they have a Mama Bear with the Always and very often a big Lion of a Father and that is how it is to be.

Also, we dress them modestly for their protection.

Sidenote to you Lady Lydia, you can edit this out please..I have been following this trend myself and will be posting some on it next week on my new blog at takingbackwomanhood.blogspot.com

If you don't mind, I would like to link to this post. Please let me know if that is ok. I understand if you don't want me to because the blog is a bit "edgy" but I am trying to spread the word about this.

Many Blessings :)
Ace

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

You are welcome to link to this post.

I used to be puzzled as to why anyone would object to parents protecting their own daughters by limiting their freedom and dressing them carefully. It is based on a false view of life. Mary at Civilia's Cyber Cafe, which I have a link for within the post, has given answers to this false view, so I hope everyone will read it. As soon as you have chldren, the rest of the world is tugging them away from you, and you are called "over protective" and accused of creating "separation anxiety" just because you are using your natural instincts as a parent. Parents are SUPPOSED to protect their children. They have a responsibility to be protective and see that the children are safe. They have a duty to be the protectors and be by their side. Girls grow up way too fast. They should be kept in clothing that looks innocent and not be dressed in clothing that makes them look too grown up and too alluring at a young age. Actually, it is appropriate for everyone to dress innocently and not provocatively. I am going to post soon about the way farm women dressed in the past centuries. It was not to show off wealth or status. It was not to appear important or to get attention. THeir clothing was adequate for them to do the hard work of rural women, and it it covered them and was still drapey and pretty. Today there are very few garments for girls that are not skin tight and revealing. It is a predators dream. It is not safe out there alone, even with modest clothing, and girls should always be under the authority of their parents, especially at night. That is what homes are for: a place to be that is away from the street.

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