Monday, May 16, 2011

Home Life Without Children





A home without children  includes women whose children now have homes of their own, those who have never been able to have children, widows and others who for some reason are home without children. I will also include in this group women who have not married and are home with their parents. The special role of these women at home are described in the following categories:

The First Year at Home: The first year at home is a time to enjoy being a keeper of your own home. With only two people in the home, it may not seem like there will be much work, but there is. Just cleaning up after yourself can be time-consuming, and cleaning up after two can be more. Therefore, there is plenty to do at home to justify devoting your time to it.

 Some young women want a detailed description of what they are supposed to do all day at home, but each family will be different, with different needs and different demands on their time. If you live in the country, it will take up quite a bit of time to do the marketing and to look after your property. There may be livestock to care for or a garden.  If you live near town, it will still take some time to do your essential shopping, putting away groceries, making meals, cleaning up after, and keeping the dwelling place clean and neat.

 If you have special interests, you will find that there is not enough time in the day to keep house and sew and knit and paint and write letters. Devoting your life to  homemaking can consume a great deal of time.  Besides all this, there may be home maintenance, which is the care of the structure of the home in painting, replacing things, and repairs.

Experienced homemakers will tell you that there is necessary work to be done, but that they try to get it out of the way so that they can pick up their knitting, or some other thing they have begun. When there is a lull in things to do, read and increase your knowledge in something that might improve the quality of life at home.  If you are learning to sew,  take some time to read over your pattern instruction and get an idea of what you will have to do.  If you want your home to be more visually attractive, then change around the furnishings and pictures and make new curtains with matching chair cushions and table cloths. If you feel it still does not fill up the time, concentrate on setting an attractive table or entertaining guests. Without children, there is still a lot to do to fill the day.

This first year is a time to figure out what needs to be done from day to day. The way to discover these needs is to observe what takes place from early morning to late at night and establish a dependable yet flexible routine. For example, you will noticed when you need to do the grocery shopping, when clothes need washing or ironing, when the kitchen needs to be cleaned, when bills need to be paid. You will be living with a man who will have schedules and needs that may determine what all needs to be done.


People are always talking about "furthering your education," and I agree. If you want to increase your knowledge in things that will really help you at home, consider taking a cooking class, a sewing course, or enroll in some kind of training that will aid you in creating an efficient but lovely home.  Even in the smallest of towns, you can find offerings of education in floral arranging, cake decorating, home interiors, garden and landscaping, quilting, furniture refinishing or upholstery. Small towns sometimes have events centers with yearly home shows where you can see home and garden displays that will inspire you to translate some of it into your own home. Consider taking a maid's class and learn the art of cleaning house. The possibilities for education in home life seems endless. Online, there is an enormous offerring of tutorials from art to sewing, that will keep you busy. Try putting everything you have learned, that works for your home, into a large notebook, to create a master list of homemaking skills that you can refer to often.

Daughters at Home
 Daughters at home have an opportunity to take over a lot of the duties for their mothers, thus freeing them to do things they never seem to get around to doing. Acquiring homemaking skills while growing up will mean a girl never has to wonder what she is supposed to do all day at home, for she will understand that one thing that is completed means another thing can be done, and so forth. The daughters who have learned daily homemaking along-side their mothers will be blessed with a natural inclination for homemaking, and will never have to ask the question, "Now that I am older and not married, what am I supposed to do next?"  If they really have a spiritual understanding of homemaking, they will always have a long list of things to accomplish at home. When they are finished with one thing, they will naturally find something else to do.  A beautiful persepective from a daughter at home can be read here.http://www.abowlofmossandpebbles.com/?p=4751

Women Whose Husbands are Away: Life at home can be very bleak for the women whose husbands must be away for weeks at a time, so it is really important that they find some things of interest besides cleaning and keeping house, that are agreeable to home life. Being a keeper at home is more than cleaning. There are numerous other things that go into making a house a home.

When he is home, you will want to enjoy yourselves together, so while he is away is a perfect time to clean the floors, rearrange things to your convenience, or sew something special.  If family is nearby, they fill the gap perfectly when the husband is away, and the wife should certainly take advantage of their company. Some families help put in a garden, aid in home repairs or painting, and in general make the quality of life better for the woman whose husband is away. This is a good time to do necessary shopping and develop your talents and creative side. Add something to the home while he is away, so that when he returns, the home is even more appealing. This can be in the form of a completed sewing project, home improvement, or learning some skill well.

Women Who Have Not Been Able to Have Children:
Today there are many resources available to the homemaker through the library, bookstores, internet, garden centers and local markets. Woman can learn to sew, communicate with her family if they live a distance from her, and find any information she needs online about creating a homey atmosphere. 

 Without children, there is a great opportunity to extend hospitality to others, and that in itself can become a special interest on the part of the homemaker. With regular company, comes the need to keep house better and provide the kitchen with the things that makes serving and caring for others more enjoyable.

On line, there are weekly events that stimulate homemakers to "love and good works," as the Bible teaches. A worker at home can participate in a table-setting day, a show-and-tell homemaking day, or an arts and crafts day, and still add to the enjoyment of her own home. Some ladies online participate in things like sharing a schedule, a menu, or a hand-made item. There really is no reason to think you are isolated in the home, if you have no children. There is so much to do, there will not be enough days to do it.

Without children, wives can use the time to be attentive companions to their husbands and even spoil them a bit.


Women With Grown Children Gone From Home:
Even after children are grown, the responsibilities of the home seem to increase. By that time, there may need to be some changes in the dwelling itself: refurbishing and refurnishing. Home libraries need to be sorted through, and books need to be categorized, and new ones added, depending on the interest of the homemaker.  After a life time of use, kitchen items may need to be replaced. It is a good time for changes in the house, when children are gone.


This may also be a great time to include more people in your life that you previously had no time for.If the homemaker is a more of a private person and does not desire to have too much company, she will still find that the care of the home, the care of herself and her husband, and possibly the care of their parents, will take up all their time.


Widows:
The Bible teaches that younger widows ought to marry, raise children, and keep the house, but older widows in the church can put themselves in the category described in Titus 2 as older women. These women are responsible to teach younger women to be good wives, mothers and homemakers. Without children in the home, an older widow can find ways of using her house to teach something of value to other women, that will help them have happy homes.  How often a widow wishes to provide this kind of training will depend upon her health and her stamina and the other obligations in her life.

Widows can re-marry, but the Bible teaches that it must be "only in the Lord," which means that they must marry a Christian.  This is an overlooked command in the New Testament, and many widows have not been careful to choose only a Christian mate. Sometimes the feeling of rootlessness and loneliness can be so strong, that widows will marry into troubled situations. Being a homemaker and a teacher of good things to the younger women, will provide some protection for them, as God will bless their obedience to his Will. If they will show a good example of an older woman following the scriptures, they may see clearly to choose a mate wisely and not get into problems by marrying outside of the church.

Widows will find that there is still more than enough that needs to be done at home, but may lack motivation. That is one good reason to reach out to others and share a knowledge of life at home. If a widow has had a good marriage, she can pass on her advice to the younger women.

There is always a problem of finding those who wish to learn, but these days, blogging is a great way to pass on your beliefs to others who are looking for something. If she is not well enough to do anything this ambitious, or to teach at home, it is possible that she can enjoy life by being the best example she can be. That in itself is sometimes a great motivation.

A widow may never have had children, or may have grown children who do not live near her. Without children, she has to be especially careful about the choices she makes, so that she is not taken advantage of. It is best to follow the Bible's guidance for widows and not go headlong into some course of action or commitment that she cannot back out of.  Widows should be careful of the way things appear to others, because there are those who are ready to spread a rumour about just anything they see. Be careful who you are seen with, and who you sit on your front porch chatting with, that it is all above reproach and has only the appearance of good. Be always aware of what others may perceive and be careful to keep your reputation spotless. You will need it should you ever decide to teach younger women.

Women without children can and should have a very full and busy life. Without children, they have the opportunity to get plenty of rest and to have a more leisurely life if they choose to, and be able to do special things for other people. Think of all people you have known who had no children. That favorite Aunt would probably not have been able to spoil you so much if she had a brood of her own. The friend without children may not have been able to take you to tea or shower you with special gifts.  The women without children who were also full time homemakers made a great contribution in the lives of their relatives and friends, for they were always ready to go somewhere or do something, and many of them had wonderful domestic skills and made products that they shared with others.

See also http://makingajoyfulhome.blogspot.com/2011/05/keepers-at-home-are-necessary.html

34 comments:

LadyLydia said...

I choose special blogs to include on my blogroll on the left hand side so that ladies at home can see all the possible things that could be done at home, (if they only had time!). There is no reason to ask, "What is there to do at home?" You can see how others use the home to the maximum advantage.

Lara said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
What an excellent post! As usual. Your posts are always very inspiring. I husband, children and my grandmother at home so I'm not in that situation at the moment but your post is really important to help me speak to other women who ask me this question several times, especially older women.
Thank you. Many blessings.

Jamie said...

Being a homemaker with no kids I appreciate the gracious tone of this post; people can be quick to judge a woman at home without a house full of kids. This season in my life allows me the opportunity to be bless to my friends and neighbors. Whether its morning coffee time spent encouraging a struggling mom or learning new skills like canning and sewing that I can share with those who have less time to take classes or teach themselves, I find my days are always full!

Jo said...

I was interested in your comment about the time it takes to keep the home clean and tidy once the children leave home. As my home is now always tidy and doesn't get messy anymore, cleaning takes me no time at all - I have heaps of spare time that I didn't have before. Life is so much easier and quieter.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I'm a yuong wife, who have been praying a child for four years. Sometimes I just feel a bit worthless with all those mums, but your post just couraged me to fulfill my role as it is.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful article Lydia. We need to talk more about wives at home, not just "Stay at home moms" (not a fan of that term!) It seems that even once your children are school-age, the nagging begins about returning to work, etc. Sigh.

Thank you.

~ Ann

Anonymous said...

I often think one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was to start working full-time just a few weeks after I married. At that time, my husband was perfectly happy for me to be a homemaker and wanted me to stay home. Now, he points to my decision to work then as the reason I should return to full-time employment now. Once he became used to my extra income, he found it very difficult to give it up when we had children. It would have been better for me to "begin as I meant to go on" rather than getting a job. At the time, I saw my working as a short-term option to raise money to pay off my husband's law school debts and save money for a home. It would have been a better use of my time and energy to "feather our nest" by making our home feel cosy and my husband feel special and cared for.

Anonymous said...

Exercise is something else you can have time for. Going for a walk or bike ride is great; you get exercise, fresh air and sunshine altogether.

LadyLydia said...

I suppose the reason I feel that there is still enough housework to keep you busy at home even when the children are gone, is that I busy myself with other projects like sewing or entertaining, church obligations, and many other things. Those things create messes that have to be cleaned up, and then there is regular dishwashing, sweeping, cleaning of rooms to keep them fresh, etc. I create the messes myself ;-) with no help from children.

Anonymous said...

Widows do feel restless and sometimes without direction. I've seen several who have made really bad choices out of desperation for companionship, and it gave their later years more stress. As an older woman, I want more peace as I get older, not more upheaval in my life. I can see why it is important to be a homemaker at first, because it prepares you for the time you may have at last. Those who have not stayed home during the other years may find it harder as widows to be home and to find something worthwhile to accomplish there.

Anne @ ModernMrsDarcy said...

I wish I had taken some of those classes early on in my married years! (Sewing, cooking etc) Now with four at home I'm a bit busy, and getting to a class is not a priority. It's great advice for new wives!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
Wonderful post, as usual. I wanted to provide a link from a blog I enjoy that expands upon stay-at-home daughters:

http://www.abowlofmossandpebbles.com/?p=4751

I'm not affiliated with this blog in any way, I just thought it was something your readers might enjoy.

Blessings,
A in California

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,

Thank you for this post. I'm one of those wives who never had children and now that I'm "Older" I find that concentrating on showing hospitality to others soothes my heart and causes me to think of the comfort of others rather than focusing on my own disappointments.

There is Plenty to do at home and I am never bored or sitting around with nothing to do and for that I am grateful.

Thank you for continuing to encourage ladies of all ages to live as our Heavenly Father intended us to.

Kind regards from,

Susan T.

LadyLydia said...

A bowl of moss and pebbles is indeed a good blog and I really agreed with the article she wrote about daughters at home. I shall try to put the link under the subject of daughters at home, in the main post. Thanks so much for commenting on it.

Amy said...

Thank you so much for this article! I am transitioning to being a wife at home full-time (almost there!) and I found it very helpful. We do not have children of our own and I really appreciated your suggestions. I'm still at the stage of establishing a routine and catching up on all the projects that just never got done when I was working. It's quite an exciting journey, and I know I'll be rereading this from time to time.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say thank you so much for your and others' sites. I was raised by a single mom who divorced my dad and went to work. Most of my life I felt neglected and would always love to go to my aunts' homes who were home and had a real home, not just a place to stay. Now having grown up, I am trying to figure out just what it means to be at home, even if not fulltime, and your and others' sites indeed help me! Your work online is inspiring and gives great hope to me and ones like me. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Being at home without children must be especially challenging in today's society, and I really sympathize with those women who face the pressure of living that choice...and admire them greatly.

I would agree heartily to use great caution in remarrying as a widow in today's world. Stepchildren can be a GREAT cause of distress in a marriage, and I see no evidence that older stepchildren are any more agreeable to a remarriage than younger ones.

In our area, the county extension office caters to homemakers and homemaking skills and offer many resources and classes on canning, sewing, gardening. I recently had difficulty in identifying some trees in my yard and they reviewed some of my digital photos in an email I sent them and identified them for me.

Anonymous said...

I cannot link to the link under Daughters at Home. It says Error 404. Am I the only one with this problem? I so enjoyed reading this whole article start to finish. Sarah

LadyLydia said...

I can tell you sad stories of widows who have taken on more stress by marrying men who had troubled children or extended family. I know several former widows who are losing their energy and health because they have had to look after their husband's parents or troubled adult children. If a widow wants to marry she should make it clear she is limited in the things she can take on. One widow I know was talked into selling her home and property which her first husband had left for her in case anything happened to him. She ended up in a terrible financial bind because the family she married into talked her into investing in another place that took up all her savings and her retirement did not cover her expenses. It would have, if she had stayed in the same place.

Another widow married a man whose grown children interfered so much that they talked him into leaving her, so that they could get rent from him in their own home.

One widow left her beautiful country home and married a man who was not in good health, caring for him til he died, and then had nothing, because his children got everything in the will.

Not all older widows who remarry end up worse off. Those who have successfully remarried have found wise men who will take care of them and leave them in good financial condition. However I think it is significant that New Testament instructed younger widows to marry and raise children and keep the home, and the older widows were mentioned only in the context of being faithful to the church and in good works all their lives.

If an older woman remarries, she has to take into account that her next husband will most likely already have had a family of his own and she will have to deal with a lot of new relationships, and not have the quietness and peace she needs as she grows older.
If the older woman wants to remarry it seems wise to look into the situation very carefully.

LadyLydia said...

There is plenty to do at home, even without children. Couples without children usually find a host of things to fill their time. If you read "When Queens Ride By" which is on my theme articles on the side, you'll see a story of a woman whose husband was in business for himself, whose wife decided to stay home and keep the home for him. She stated that there was no use for two of them to be under the stress of business. She wanted him to come home to a calm home atmosphere.

If women go out to work, they should remember that taxes are extracted from their paychecks, even if they work for a privately owned company. No one I know of approves of financing wars and invasions and all the crazy government programs that eventually harm the hard working citizen, and these taxes will support these programs as well and help the idle government invent new programs that oppress people. If you stay home, you are not putting money into it. Only one pay check will have money extracted from it.

As for the question about working just for insurance, well, there are other insurance plans that you can get, and there are other ways of doing it than going to work. Some people opt out of insurance because they take care of their own health.

Health care as most people think of is not really health. It is drugs, medication, hospitalization. Real health care is something that takes good nutrition, and good clean living. If you have that, you will rarely have to use the medical system.

For more about taking care of your own health, you can go to Dr. Mercola online and subscribe to his newsletter.

In emergencies, there are medical clinics for the poor around here, where they allow people to pay what they can, and some of them are free, if you have a low income.

LadyLydia said...

The economy will always fluctuate. Your family will not have a steady income at the same rate at all times during your lives. The secret is to adjust to it and to live a certain frugal way so that when there is less income, you can thrive. What many people want is a type of socialism where they believe that nothing fluctuates and they will have a guaranteed income and a guaranteed lifestyle with no challenges or surprises. But that is not the Biblical way to live. We are to be dependent on God, not the government, and ask him to "give us our daily bread." Instead, I think even Christians worry over what is going to happen next week or next year if they dont have a certain income. That is why many Christian women go to work outside the home instead of minding the business of home as the Bible teaches. They do not trust God. They trust in man. And yet, at any given moment, a business may fail, and all employees who have paid into insurance and retirement may end up with nothing. So you cannot trust in man's system or the government. In trusting in God, it means you follow His plan for your life. THe BIble says the men will work by the sweat of their brow to make provision for their families and that women need to be workers at home. Now a lot of people just cannot accept that women's major duty is to mind the workings of the home. Thinking there is nothing to do at home, they insist that this means they should have a home business. Try having a home business and you will see how fast your house will fade from the neat, beautiful and clean place you have made, and how soon the business takes priority and how tired and cranky you become. Women were created for a certain thing, and although they are capable of living a man's life, that does not mean they were created for that purpose. Read the story "When Queen's Ride By" and get a clearer picture of this. Jennie was a worrier who felt she had to help out her husband by doing half the farming herself. In doing this, she neglected her appearance, her house, and her children and was terribly tired and discouraged. A stranger whose car had broken down near the farm came to the fence and talked to her while her husband fixed the car. She told a story about a Queen that kept her kingdom calm by showing that all was well with the kingdom, even when there was news that things were collaspsing. In our little home kingdoms, there is always going to be a report of a "war or rumours of wars" as the Bible says, and then there is the constant scare about a collapsing economy. But if the wife will stay home and live a steady life, doing the same routine and care of her home year after year, her family can weather all this and at least when they are home they will see things that do not change. They will see stability. But if she panics and leaves home to earn money, the atmosphere changes at home. Some of us who post here have lived long enough to have heard the same thing over and over about how we wont have anything if something happens to the economy, or something happens to our husbands. They never stop trying to scare us into working outside the home, but those who have fallen for the tactic have had more trouble!

LadyLydia said...

WHEN QUEENS Ride By is also a movie on the old Loretta Young Show, an episode by the same name, done in 1962 or 64 I think. It has not been posted on You tube but I hope someday someone will post that episode. I saw it when I was about 12 years old and was very impressed. It was only a half hour drama I think, and might not have been in color, but it was very well done.

LadyLydia said...

I will check that link. It is the same as the Pebbles and Moss that one of the commenters posted in the comments section. You might go to that one and see if it works.

Anonymous said...

I so appreciate posts like this one! I enjoy and benefit from your wisdom on life at home.

Have you, or would you, address housekeeping with young children? I've poked around your archives before but if you have written on this and I've missed it, please direct me to the right place!

I'm a housewife with a masters degree and a law degree--in short, sold a bill of goods by feminist culture, I spent my twenties getting educated on how to make a living and had no clue, truly, how to make a home. I tried to train myself in this before having children, so I do have skills (I'm a very good cook and baker and know how to clean and keep house pretty well). The struggle I have is knowing what is a workable standard for a household with young children (I was not brought up with a housewife mother). We eat three home-cooked meals per day, I keep the floors, kitchen, and bathroom clean, and stay on top of the laundry, mending and ironing. I also try to find time to sew small things like napkins or gifts and do some knitting (though precious little since our newborn arrived!) and try to stay on top of the
basic gardening (weeding, mulching). I can't seem to find time to do much else (I do not watch tv, and am judicious with Internet time, checking it when the baby nurses). My struggle is: is this enough? Having been raised without standards I don't know what the proper standard is for a home with little ones--& I will start homeshooling in a year! If you have any advice on this, I would love to hear it (& if you've addressed it, point me in the right direction!) I feel my house is fairly clean, though a bit cluttered with children's items, and I'm not entirely sure what my 'standard' should be!

I am sorry for getting off-topic, but this post reminded me of this question and I had a few minutes to spare this afternoon.

Thank you so much.

-Mrs. P

LadyLydia said...

Mrs. P.

I am excited about the comments that are coming in on this subject and other subjects.

You would really like a new book that is just out from worldnet daily called "The Simplicity Primer" by Patrice Lewis, who also has a blog called "Rural Revolution."

With children, I usually took mine with me to whatever area of the home I had to be in.. That way, they could see what I was doing and aid me. Youngsters can hand you things, fetch you things, and take things to their designated places.

"Now we are going to fold the clothes"--they will love this task and others, when you announce that it is time to do them. They should always be aware that the home is being cared for and that they are part of making it run smoothly.

I don't remember if there is an article here about it but I am sure there are a lot of bloggers that have written about it. Check out the links on Lillibeth's blog at www.thepleasanttimes.blogspot.com She may have written articles on it and she links to other homemakers with small children.

I am sure other readers here have good answers to this too and hope everyone will be liberal with their comments and their ideas and advice!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much! It's this search for the standard, it's hard for me! I feel like I'm covering all the essential bases, as well as spending time training and loving and discipling my babies :), but my home is simple, not House Beautiful, just clean (a bit cluttered but fairly clean), not everything is as beautiful as the belongings of my friends (who work and have housekeepers--not all of my friends, mind you, but a larger quantity than you'd think!--and who also have extra income to spend on newer things, whereas we live with older things because we refuse to take on any debt). It's hard for me to figure out how much cleaning is Good Enough when I've got to be quite attentive to my little ones!

I will look into the book and blogs you suggested. Thank you so much. Keep up the wonderful work you have here, please, for the sake of all of us who read and admire!

Astonishing how I'm well-equipped to argue a case in front of a judge and yet had to work so hard to figure out how to keep house. It's working, though, I can feel it! :)

-Mrs. P

LadyLydia said...

Mrs. P.,

You can have a pretty home. You can have the home just as you like it! It is all up to you to decide. One thing you have to do is not wait til the children take a nap, and not wait til you have the money, etc. to get it the way you like it. If the condition of the house bothers you, just have the children tag along while you get it the way you want it. Cleaning, arranging, and adding the little bright spots (some books on a shelf, a vase of flowers in a wall pocket, a nicely arranged grouping of toys, etc) are good training for children. They will copy you. They will acquire your tastes and your likes and dislikes. Just talk to them as you go along and tell them what you are doing and why. Tell them how you want your home to look and how they can help and how proud of them you are when they do as you ask. Very young children love to fold clothes and put them in the place they go. They may not do it perfectly but it does save some time. Your daily living and housework ought to be their training.

Also if you will keep the front room really clean and company-ready, it will go a long way to making you feel happy and content.

Leaving the kitchen clean before you go to bed gives you more energy the next day and less of a feeling of being behind.

Lillibeth said...

I am not sure that I have any helps on housekeeping with young ones on my blog-- at least I can't remember the post if I do:) But there is a good post here: http://ladyofvirtue.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-clean-room.html
One thing I do know-- that toddlers are closer to the floor, therefore they should be the ones to pick things up from the floor and put them in a basket for you. Young mothers can feel like they spent the whole day bent over otherwise!

Anonymous said...

A home with children can never be 'perfect'. No home really is. It is a home not a hotel. A home with children is always in motion and changing hour by hour. I have mentioned on another post I asked my husband early on what he felt constituted a comfortable clean home to him. Things I thought Had to be done and kept done meant nothing to him while something I cared little about bothered him. I kept his thoughts in mind and in time knew that that little list of his and now the few of mine were priority. I realized I could relax on some things too.I knew to of course, keep up with the floors and dusting and all the regular things that need doing. The family came first. Meals on the table, clothes ready when they are needed, babies and husband feeling happy and loved.I made a simple schedule and when I knew i could easily do that I added a thing or two and so on till it was second nature. It is your own personal home and can be run according to your standards. If someone says dust once a week and you find you need it differently change it to what suits your home. I am so happy Mrs.P that you are home with your family and enjoying it. Your children will gain so much from learning right by your side. Life is a learning process and you are on a very good path already!! It is so sweet that you care. It sounds like you are hitting all the bases but you just want some reassurance and thoughts from other women. We all love our homes here and hearing new ideas and learning from one another. I am glad you are now a part of us. I hope others will write soon and give you better ideas than I have come up with. Sarah

LadyLydia said...

I agree with you that home making is largely dependent on a particular family's needs, the most urgent ones coming first. When children are little, it takes a while for a routine to be developed, and it will develop according to what the homemaker feels is the most important.

There are some, though, who boast that they are not particular about the house because they want to be comfortable and not too particular about anything. The law of the land does not see it that way. I've seen some families torn apart because their porch and yard and home was so filthy that someone called social services, an agency that removed the children until the place was cleaned up, because it was considered child endangerment. Its too bad it takes the government to wake some women up, because we already had a higher authority recorded in the Bible saying that women should be keepers at home, that the word of God be not blasphemed. When the house is neglected, the children are neglected, and it gives a bad reputation to believers in God and to the local church where you attend. My solution is to include children in the care and keeping of the home, so that they become automatic cleaners!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes you are so right Lady Lydia. I did not want to infer that you should ever let the home get shabby or children in any way neglected. Mrs P. had mentioned all the cleaning and such she already does. I knew she had already set up many standards. Yes I too have known homes that were not pleasant at all to visit. I wanted to take the children home with me and help the mother clean the house and yards! Yes we do need to keep in mind that what we do and say are always a reflection on our relationship with God, our church and our community , and the reputation of even our extended families. I grew up never wanting to bring shame to any of them. I was not thinking that any advice we gave her would be focused not just on Mrs P's question but to new homemakers in general and could be misleading. Thank you for clarifying things for the homemakers Lady Lydia. Sarah

LadyLydia said...

I agree wholeheartedly that its totally up to the homemaker to keep the house the way she wishes! Too often I think they get a feeling of inferiority because they do not have the time or help to get it in a way that is their ideal.

No house will be in pefect condition from one end to the other unless it is a show home.

Anonymous said...

I again have been inspired by several of the blogs listed on your sidebar. I cannot go out and buy anything new but looking through them I gleamed many things I could make myself or redo from things I already have. It is such fun to refresh our homes a bit here and there! Once the basic cleaning was done today I took a little time to do some of them and I am so happy I did! :) Also I have several new recipes from these blogs to be preparing in the week ahead. I choose recipes that had ingredients I already had in my pantry in them. Thank you to all you ladies who take the time to blog. Thank you Lady Lydia for including them on your blogroll. We really appreciate it! :) Sarah

Anonymous said...

So many good comments here for Mrs. P., the mother with young children.

If I might add my own: it sounds to me, Mrs. P., as though you have a good perspective on things right now! You've said that you have real, home-cooked meals, & you manage to stay on top of the laundry & mending, & looking after the kitchen & bathroom. And you are able to get a little weeding done?....you are doing very, VERY well!

I found that so many things became easier as my children grew, but only because I'd laid the proper groundwork in our home. I never wanted them to view work as drudgery, so I made sure to tackle my housework with as much cheer as I could, including & inviting them into what I was doing. Not every single day was a stellar one, by any means; but I am seeing good fruit now because I was home to tend my "garden". I believe you will experience similar rewards, Mrs. P.

blessings,
Brenda

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