Respite

Paintings by Susan Rios

I know housework must be done so that the family can function. To those who have not been able to keep up, I would suggest keeping several places tidy. If you can at least have the front porch, entryway if you have one, and the front room or living room clean, you can work without pressure on other areas of the house. If you are pressed for time, having those entry areas clean is a big help.

While it is perfectly alright to hire housekeeping help, I find that most ladies here would rather clean their own houses. It gets complicated when there are papers to sort and clean laundry to distribute, books to put away or a bedroom to clean up that has for too long been used to stash things. No one can read our minds to figure out where things go. Helpers have to be told everything and so ladies like to do it themselves. If you are raising children, they can be a great help, and they will learn what your preferences are, sometimes to the detail of where you put your mail or your sewing things. I have also known of sisters who help each other with housework when needed.

Today there is a lot of information on the web about good housekeeping, and anyone who wants to learn can search and find it.
Here is a page on how to sweep a floor. I prefer a good natural straw broom.
Here is one on how to wash dishes.
Here is one on how to do laundry.
If your energy and time is low, at least get the room that people see when they first enter the house, presentable. How to clean the living room.
If company is unexpectedly coming, here is a page that will help you get the house in order quickly.

Posted with Blogsy

The Role of Older Women

Today I am sharing a tract I wrote, that is printable. I hope to have the time to do more of these in the future, elaborating further on the many aspects of ways older women can provide good ideas and instruction to help younger women can have good success in home living.


Ladies Bible Studies 

by Lydia Sherman

Older Women

in the Church

Looking into the Word of God to Discover How the Older Women Can Be Helpers in the Lord's Church.

In the Lord's church, we are obligated to find our answers in the Word of God, and not depend on the trends of the prevailing culture. To find out what the role of older women is, all we need to do is read and practice what is written in Titus 2, verses 1-5:

1But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

These verses lay out things that the churches of Christ need from older women. These needs will always be with us from generation to generation. 

Older women who have been wives, mothers and homemakers for many years will have a wealth of information and insight to share with the younger women, but first, they must be good examples.
Verses 1, 2 and 3 mention sound doctrine, soberness (serious attitude), patience, teachers of good things.

Verse 5 says the older women are to teach the younger women to be “keepers at home.” Older women must teach the younger women in several ways: 1. By showing them the scriptures, 2. By their own life example, and 3. By teaching how to love their husband, love their children, and keep house.

If an older woman teaches the younger women to be keepers at home, she must also be a keeper at home. It is hard to serve two masters. If a woman works outside the home, she may find it difficult and tiring to keep her own home and to pass on her knowledge of home keeping to younger women. In order to teach “good things” an older woman must also live them, and be a good example.

Today there are many marvelous communication and publication avenues that can help an older woman teach a younger women these important things:

1. She may share her own home with younger women by extending hospitality to them in order to share with them how to have a stable marriage, how to lovingly and effectively raise their children, and how to keep the home.
2. She may use the telephone or email to teach lessons on marriage, children and homemaking.
3. She may have a daily weblog or website as a teaching tool, or teach classes during the week.
4. She may publish a newsletter to distribute to the younger women, and she may write letters.

Daughters may learn from their mothers at home. There are many other young women who need this training, and so the older women are very much needed in the church to teach the important lessons of Titus chapter 2. How does this help the church? Older women will teach younger women to encourage their husbands and children to become strong members of the Lord's church and carry out His commission.

 Go here to print this out as a tract.

I am linking this article to Romans 16:16  blog.

To Be Sober

Sober-Mindedness This is an attitude of seriousness that says she is in earnest about her duty as a wife, mother and maker of the home.  It is a lack of silly behavior, smart  remarks, hasty retorts and put-downs. It involves a keen awareness of the existence of one's soul and and the effect that flamboyant, reckless and stupid joshing around has on the soul.

Sober-Mindedness
Indulging in silly talk harms the soul because it can cause you to forget who you are, what your talents are, your capabilities and your worth. It makes you feel detached from your training and education.  Most people who homeschool do so for the purpose of curbing the vast amount of foolishness that goes on among groups of youth, but even a homeschooler can miss this vital point.  Boys, as well as girls, need to be taught that while it is good to laugh in a wholesome way and enjoy life, it is important not to sever the line between the soul and God by blocking out good sense with foolish talking.

Silliness Can Be Dangerous
  A casting-off-all-care, partying spirit is a distraction to serious things. I am not speaking of healthy, hearty, life-giving laughter that renews the human spirit, as spoken of in Proverbs 17:22,  but the abandoning of good sense. Such silliness can result in blocking out all other sounds and losing the ability to be alert.  Noise and foolish talk  that blocks out all other sound, is the similar to being in a drunken state, because it dulls the senses and slows responses. If someone yelled "fire" in group of silly women, their mocking and derision would drown out the warning.  This example is one reason to enjoy life and laugh but always have a feeling of your connection with God and be alert to life around you.

Dont Be Drunk With Sarcasm
Being serious-minded is like being sober. People are more likely to respect a serious person, than one who is constantly ridiculous.  The idea that a woman must be friendly, outgoing, fun-loving, and humorously sarcastic, has been popular for quite some time, but this is not the role model that Titus 2 is speaking of when it says:







1But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.


3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.






6Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.




The scriptures here are not just telling people not to be drunk, but to be sober-minded. (verse 6).  No one will take a silly woman seriously, and a woman who is not serious about her responsibilities at home will not be able to train her children to be sober minded. 




It is one thing to really enjoy life, and have some hearty laughter. Proverbs says that laughter is good for you. This laughter, however, has to be something other than constant, silly giggling and tittering is much more shallow than hearty laughter which bolsters the heart so much it is like


For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity.






Ecclesiastes 7:6

ridicule Matthew 9:24

Prov 17:22   A cheerful heart

Most older women recognize the purpose of being sober-minded, but what can they do to curb the enormous amount of ridiculous behavior when around other women, young and old, who just want to have a good time?  While there is nothing wrong with enjoying life and basking in the company of good friends, women must learn to curb their behavior so as not to waste time, or become a negative influence.

Indulging in unrestrained , with no thought for the past that the present abandonment of sense creates, is like drunkenness.  A person can become just as dissolute with mocking and sarcasm as someone who is losing his sense of time through drinking.

Living as though It has rightly been said that law is the god of righteousness; licentiousness is the god of fools.

Strength and Dignity

Chrysanthemums

by  Daniel Ridgeway Knight, Pennsylvania, 1829-1934

(View more of this artist.)

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come.

~Proverbs 31 verse  25

Dignity

There are several meanings of the word dignity,  which is sometimes interchangeable with honor. Definitions can be read at the end of the post.  Today I am going to talk about the practical  application of this word, particularly in regard to the conversation of women. Bible classes, tea parties, friends, the telephone, blogs, message boards and instant messaging make it easier to "tell-all" or give detailed descriptions of personal things, but is it expedient to do so?  I believe there can be a danger in it. I believe women can have good conversations and give wise counsel without losing their dignity.

Christian women should seek personal dignity.

Some people have the idea that it is not right to have personal honor or personal dignity, but the Bible teaches that dignity and honor are to be sought:

"A gracious woman retaineth honour. [dignity]" Proverbs 11:16

There is a common belief that things involving manners or  personal dignity are shallow, superficial, lacking in depth, or snobbish, but according to Proverbs 31 dignity is part of being a woman of worth. The Bible speaks of honor as something to seek.

Julia Among the Roses

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

The Trend of Transparency

In an era that encourages transparency and openness, women have lost their dignity and sacrificed their mystery.  The tell-all television shows have helped make it culturally acceptable to reveal every detail of every weakness; every mental anguish in life.  While modernists call this "honesty', it is not necessarily dishonest to keep some things private. Cautious speech is important when preserving dignity.

Someone recently sent me an email forward about the airport policy of making airline passengers walk through X-ray machines.  In view of the popularity of transparency--- revealing every thought, every habit, every thing we do, I was amused at this reminder of literal transparency.


There is a problem if we want to expose everything to everyone, in the hope that we might win some to our beliefs. Women lose their dignity when they do this.  Philippians 4:8  says to think about things that are honorable. It may not be honorable to discuss sinful things among a certain type of audience. Women need to be wise, and distinguish between what things should be said or written for the public, and what things are only fit for privacy.

One of the dangers of the new transparency is that those who seek our harm will use it against us.  Unbelievers do not understand repentance. They focus only  the sin. They may report things you have confessed and give you a reputation you may find difficult to live down. Converted women who have come up out of that watery grave of baptism should not live as though their sins are still clinging to them.  They should walk in "newness of life."  They should think like new creatures. They should avoid discussing personal things among acquaintances and online. They  need  to find ways to come across as being friendly and personable without giving up their privacy or losing their dignity.

Mending

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Dignity Should Fit the Description of a Godly Woman.

The phrase: "Strength and dignity are her clothing" is a figure of speech referring to the dignified bearing and personality of a worthy woman. One of the meanings of dignity is "honor." At the end of this post is an explanation of the way the Bible uses figures of speech to explain the meaning of something. Strength and dignity are referred to as clothing, so that the learner can understand the meaning of dignity as part of a woman's being. They should be dignified in the way they dress, the way they live and the way they speak.

The Village Seamstress

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Dignified Speech.

Obviously dignified speech eliminates things like swearing and popular slang, especially when it is suggestive. It eliminates graphic descriptions of personal bodily functions or things that are not part of pleasant, edifying speech.  James Herriot wrote in his book "Dog Stories" that he was happily reminded of the days gone by when people's sensibilities were too delicate to describe troubles with their livestock or pets in graphic detail.  "How different it is now," he wrote, "when the young farmer's wives often make me gulp with their recital of explicit anatomical details."  Public blogs and other forms of online communication can be a temptation to reveal personal things that should be private, or limited to a certain group of trusted friends.

Peasant Girls in a Flower Garden

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Dignity is Like a Covering.

Dignity is something Proverbs 31 calls "clothing." Those of us who are "in Christ" know that we are also "clothed in Christ." It means to be protected or covered. Ist Peter 5:5 refers to being clothed in humility.  Anyone that understands insurance coverage can understand the concept of being covered by something that is not tangible but is a protection. A worthy woman is clothed in dignity, a figure of speech that means held in honor.

Many young women seek the example of a dignified older woman.   Practice dignity in your youth, and you will become the woman whose personality is clothed in dignity. Be especially careful what you say in groups of women or discuss on public blogs. Private blogs will allow more leniency but even then, women need to be careful to make sure that their speech is pure.

The Flower Boat

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Practice a High Code of Living.

Part of dignity, or honor, is to rise above the  sinful things of the past and not dwell on them. If you are a mother, your children need to see dignity (honorable things) in you. To put the past away is not to be dishonest with them, because it is a way of protecting them. You have to be careful what you confess to your children, your friends, and yes, even church members, because of the way it can be used that is not edifying.

The story is told of a man who went to prison for selling drugs. While doing time, he was converted by a prison ministry. When he was released and attended worship, he let everyone know that he had been in prison and how he had been converted. He told his story so often that people began to refer to him as "the man who went to prison for selling drugs." His sinful but colorful past loomed larger in people's minds than his current change of life. We all need to be careful what we say, whether it be online or off so that our dignity is preserved and so that others will be thinking on things that are lovely. Women can do a lot to prevent a stereotype being spread about them, by not talking of the shame of the past, except in very personal situations.

Maria and Madeleine on the Terrace

by Daniel Ridgway Knight

Loss of Privacy

There may be young children or weaker members who can get the wrong ideas about confessions involving past sinful living.Their minds may dwell more on the dark side of the story than the bright side. Discernment and good sense should be used when deciding whether or not to relate past sins to certain ones. Some people have spread things around that have caused problems in people's lives, and that is a good reason  to keep some things private.

Previous Generations Were More Dignified.

Many of us have parents living who did not see the need to broadcast every feeling, every angst, every bitter disappointment, every plan, or every move they made. Children were not told how much money their fathers earned, how much the family car cost,  how much their father had in retirement funds, how much their mother weighed or how old adults were.  Adults kept a lot of things private and did not have to divulge personal things in order to remain interesting to their friends.  When impertinent questions were asked, it was common to hear the phrase, "That is none of your business."   Today, people think you are hiding something or being dishonest unless you divulge every personal detail of your life, but women need to cultivate privacy and develop personal dignity.

The Fear of Formality.
Grace Livingston Hill wrote in her book, "Re-Creations"

"You know formalities are good things sometimes. They are like fences to keep intruders out and hedges to keep in the sacred and beautiful things of life."

Do not be afraid to keep up your fences and keep personal things to yourself. The practice trains others what to speak and what to refrain from saying or asking.

Evening Hours

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Dignified Living Requires Cautious Speech.

Some mothers make the mistake of exposing their children to the knowledge of the follies of their own youth, not realizing that it may create in the children a desire to repeat the behavior.  Mothers are responsible to guide and guard their children. They need to pay special attention to building the character of their children. Without good judgement, children talk and spread personal things to others, causing great harm in a woman's personal dignity.

While women can be very particular about which magazines they allow in their homes that expose children to sordid things, they need to be just as careful not to expose their children to their own past sins. There is a danger that the children will lose respect for their God-given authorities. Women need to attain and retain dignity and honor so that their children will not lose respect for them. The apostle Paul wrote:

... this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

The past can be valuable to remind us the pain of taking the wrong way, but we must be discerning in what we say to friends, to church members and to the public whether it be through casual conversations, the telephone or the internet.  There are some people who lie in wait to find some flaw in Christian women in order to spread malicious gossip about them, gossip which might cause great damage to them later on. There are those who look down on people who talk about unsavory, or sinful things. A gracious woman should seek honor and dignity, rather than causing others to think of sordid things.

Revealing Personal Things Can Harm Your Influence. 

Previous generations were more dignified in the things they talked about. They would have been horrified at the current transparency trend, knowing that it would cause loss of personal dignity and harm their future influence on others for good. They knew that if they expected to be an authority they had to live the part and retain personal dignity.

Gathering Flowers

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Parents Need to Exercise Caution.

Parents do need to use their knowledge to protect their children from the follies of feminism. In doing so, however, it is a very dangerous thing to describe every sinful thing that they did in their youth. It is not good to broadcast the details of their sordid past life to immature minds. Later, in a moment of resentment or rebellion, a son or daughter may think, "Mother did it, so why can't I?"  Or, a child may lose respect for their mother if they know that she once did the things that she is now telling her children not to do. Children also spread personal secrets to their friends, which can cause great havoc in a woman's life. Since a child's mind and reasoning is not fully formed,  parents have to be very wise in the way they portray themselves. They may lose their authority if they show the children a weak side of themselves, and they also lose their dignity.

Seated Girl With Flowers

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight



Women Need to Be Careful What They Say in the Presence of Men.

While we expect men to avoid using strong language in front of women, women too must be careful in their speech around men, or as some would say "in mixed company."  They should not freely talk about their hair or hair products,  make-up, their personal hygiene preferences, the details of women's physical problems such as their period or any surgeries, the size of their clothing and underwear, marital relations, old boyfriends, potty training methods, and much more. Often in restaurants women indulge in laughing loudly at things that are not even amusing, or talking about things in public that are embarassing. Women need to attain dignity, and to do so, they must learn to speak about things that are higher and nobler. The quiet and gentle spirit (1st Peter 3:4) in women is something God values greatly and it adds to their dignity.

The Duet

by George Knowles

Learn How to Make Good Conversation.

It may take a little study and research to find out how to participate in a conversation without allowing it to degenerate into disgusting talk,  and it may take some practiced skill to guide a conversation that has gone astray. This is a refined attribute that is essential in attaining dignity or honor. Acquiring the ability to speak with dignity is like practicing on a fine instrument to participate in a public symphony. Once the music is learned, the player hardly knows he is performing it. Gracious ladies will have trials and errors but eventually will be able to discern what to say and what not to say, and when to divert a conversation back to the right path, one of dignified talk.

Reduce Communication.

Constant communication is not good for women. (As some men would say, "They need to be making sandwiches" instead. ) Too much chatter, whether online or verbal, can reduce your alertness to your family and sap your strength. 

Young Women Need to Be Around Good Influences and Pure Speech.
 Young women need to remove themselves from places that are a bad influence. "Evil communications corrupt good manners." Ist Corinthians 15:33. If you participate in such communications, you will not attain personal dignity.  It is more likely that these people will pull you down to their level, than you will pull them up to yours.  Online chatter is wasteful and destructive if it is not pure speech.

Young women who participate constantly in online message boards (including Facebook)  that are full of off-color humor, vile messages, smart remarks, gossip and accusations need to close their accounts in those places and never go back. Scoffers and scorners are not going to get better just because someone nice is there.

A rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. It does not matter how many good apples you put in the barrel, it does not make the rotten apple any better. Sometimes, women make the mistake of staying in the company of fools, in order to make the foolish wise, but they are usually outnumbered, and at a disadvantage. Do not risk the loss of dignity by belonging to  message boards or spending time with scoffers that have never changed. There are things to do in the home that are more important that will add to your personal dignity as a woman.

Polishing the Urn

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Older women need to be the primary example of dignity, but if there are none around, younger women need to study and prepare themselves to be the example to their daughters. Applying good conversation principles in knitting and crafting groups, ceramics classes, ladies Bible studies,  restaurants, tours, visits and online can help women attain honor. Often these groups encourage the revealing of personal family information, and some of the women in these groups are not good advertisements for the Christian life. With knowledge and skill, wise women can guide the conversation into things that are lovely, good and noble.

The Honeymoon Breakfast

by Daniel Ridgeway Knight

Definitions of Dignity

Websters 1828 Dictionary: True honor; nobleness or elevation of mind, consisting in a high sense of propriety, truth and justice, with an abhorrence of mean and sinful actions; opposed to meanness. In this sense, we speak of the dignity of mind, and dignity of sentiments. This dignity is based on moral rectitude; all vice is incompatible with true dignity of mind. The man who deliberately injures another, whether male or female, has no true dignity of soul.

Wikopedia: 1.The state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect- a man of dignity and unbending principle- the dignity of labor; 3.A sense of pride in oneself; self-respect-" it was beneath his dignity to shout."

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Figures of Speech in the Bible

Today, we use many figures of speech in our language to describe an experience or to give a greater meaning to something. When a person says that a scripture "jumped out" at him, he does not mean that the verse literally came off the page. He is using a figure of speech. I have just written about the worthy woman in Proverbs 31 being "clothed" in honor. This is also a fugure of speech which is used to describe the character quality of dignity. The worthy woman was  wearing a garment of dignity;  a spiritual attribute described as clothing. When you are clothed in something, you represent it, you are covered in it, and you have acquired that personality. The worthy woman has dignity so much in her it is as if she is wearing it.

The Bible is more easily understood when you see the many figures of speech that is used to give a greater meaning to a word or phrase. For example, when a Pharisee told Jesus to flee because Herod was going to kill him, Jesus said, "Go, and tell that fox....."   he did not mean that Herod was a fox. He was applying the attributes of a fox to Herod's personality. Perhaps he meant that the king was sly or sneaky. Some would call this personification of the fox and others might apply it as symbolism, Herod's personality being symbolic of a fox.

Below are a few (there are many more) significant figures of speech in the Bible:

Allegory

Ambiguity

Condescension

Hyperbole

Metaphor

Paradox

Personification

Symbolism

Home Life Without Children

Welford Country Cottage

by Carl Valente

A home without children  includes women whose children now have homes of their own, those who have never been able to have children, widows and others who for some reason are home without children. I will also include in this group women who have not married and are home with their parents. The special role of these women at home are described in the following categories:

The First Year at Home: The first year at home is a time to enjoy being a keeper of your own home. With only two people in the home, it may not seem like there will be much work, but there is. Just cleaning up after yourself can be time-consuming, and cleaning up after two can be more. Therefore, there is plenty to do at home to justify devoting your time to it.

 Some young women want a detailed description of what they are supposed to do all day at home, but each family will be different, with different needs and different demands on their time. If you live in the country, it will take up quite a bit of time to do the marketing and to look after your property. There may be livestock to care for or a garden.  If you live near town, it will still take some time to do your essential shopping, putting away groceries, making meals, cleaning up after, and keeping the dwelling place clean and neat.

 If you have special interests, you will find that there is not enough time in the day to keep house and sew and knit and paint and write letters. Devoting your life to  homemaking can consume a great deal of time.  Besides all this, there may be home maintenance, which is the care of the structure of the home in painting, replacing things, and repairs.

Experienced homemakers will tell you that there is necessary work to be done, but that they try to get it out of the way so that they can pick up their knitting, or some other thing they have begun. When there is a lull in things to do, read and increase your knowledge in something that might improve the quality of life at home.  If you are learning to sew,  take some time to read over your pattern instruction and get an idea of what you will have to do.  If you want your home to be more visually attractive, then change around the furnishings and pictures and make new curtains with matching chair cushions and table cloths. If you feel it still does not fill up the time, concentrate on setting an attractive table or entertaining guests. Without children, there is still a lot to do to fill the day.

This first year is a time to figure out what needs to be done from day to day. The way to discover these needs is to observe what takes place from early morning to late at night and establish a dependable yet flexible routine. For example, you will noticed when you need to do the grocery shopping, when clothes need washing or ironing, when the kitchen needs to be cleaned, when bills need to be paid. You will be living with a man who will have schedules and needs that may determine what all needs to be done.


People are always talking about "furthering your education," and I agree. If you want to increase your knowledge in things that will really help you at home, consider taking a cooking class, a sewing course, or enroll in some kind of training that will aid you in creating an efficient but lovely home.  Even in the smallest of towns, you can find offerings of education in floral arranging, cake decorating, home interiors, garden and landscaping, quilting, furniture refinishing or upholstery. Small towns sometimes have events centers with yearly home shows where you can see home and garden displays that will inspire you to translate some of it into your own home. Consider taking a maid's class and learn the art of cleaning house. The possibilities for education in home life seems endless. Online, there is an enormous offerring of tutorials from art to sewing, that will keep you busy. Try putting everything you have learned, that works for your home, into a large notebook, to create a master list of homemaking skills that you can refer to often.

Daughters at Home
 Daughters at home have an opportunity to take over a lot of the duties for their mothers, thus freeing them to do things they never seem to get around to doing. Acquiring homemaking skills while growing up will mean a girl never has to wonder what she is supposed to do all day at home, for she will understand that one thing that is completed means another thing can be done, and so forth. The daughters who have learned daily homemaking along-side their mothers will be blessed with a natural inclination for homemaking, and will never have to ask the question, "Now that I am older and not married, what am I supposed to do next?"  If they really have a spiritual understanding of homemaking, they will always have a long list of things to accomplish at home. When they are finished with one thing, they will naturally find something else to do.  A beautiful persepective from a daughter at home can be read here.http://www.abowlofmossandpebbles.com/?p=4751

Women Whose Husbands are Away: Life at home can be very bleak for the women whose husbands must be away for weeks at a time, so it is really important that they find some things of interest besides cleaning and keeping house, that are agreeable to home life. Being a keeper at home is more than cleaning. There are numerous other things that go into making a house a home.

When he is home, you will want to enjoy yourselves together, so while he is away is a perfect time to clean the floors, rearrange things to your convenience, or sew something special.  If family is nearby, they fill the gap perfectly when the husband is away, and the wife should certainly take advantage of their company. Some families help put in a garden, aid in home repairs or painting, and in general make the quality of life better for the woman whose husband is away. This is a good time to do necessary shopping and develop your talents and creative side. Add something to the home while he is away, so that when he returns, the home is even more appealing. This can be in the form of a completed sewing project, home improvement, or learning some skill well.

Women Who Have Not Been Able to Have Children:
Today there are many resources available to the homemaker through the library, bookstores, internet, garden centers and local markets. Woman can learn to sew, communicate with her family if they live a distance from her, and find any information she needs online about creating a homey atmosphere. 

 Without children, there is a great opportunity to extend hospitality to others, and that in itself can become a special interest on the part of the homemaker. With regular company, comes the need to keep house better and provide the kitchen with the things that makes serving and caring for others more enjoyable.

On line, there are weekly events that stimulate homemakers to "love and good works," as the Bible teaches. A worker at home can participate in a table-setting day, a show-and-tell homemaking day, or an arts and crafts day, and still add to the enjoyment of her own home. Some ladies online participate in things like sharing a schedule, a menu, or a hand-made item. There really is no reason to think you are isolated in the home, if you have no children. There is so much to do, there will not be enough days to do it.

Without children, wives can use the time to be attentive companions to their husbands and even spoil them a bit.


Women With Grown Children Gone From Home:
Even after children are grown, the responsibilities of the home seem to increase. By that time, there may need to be some changes in the dwelling itself: refurbishing and refurnishing. Home libraries need to be sorted through, and books need to be categorized, and new ones added, depending on the interest of the homemaker.  After a life time of use, kitchen items may need to be replaced. It is a good time for changes in the house, when children are gone.

This may also be a great time to include more people in your life that you previously had no time for.If the homemaker is a more of a private person and does not desire to have too much company, she will still find that the care of the home, the care of herself and her husband, and possibly the care of their parents, will take up all their time.


Widows:
The Bible teaches that younger widows ought to marry, raise children, and keep the house, but older widows in the church can put themselves in the category described in Titus 2 as older women. These women are responsible to teach younger women to be good wives, mothers and homemakers. Without children in the home, an older widow can find ways of using her house to teach something of value to other women, that will help them have happy homes.  How often a widow wishes to provide this kind of training will depend upon her health and her stamina and the other obligations in her life.

Widows can re-marry, but the Bible teaches that it must be "only in the Lord," which means that they must marry a Christian.  This is an overlooked command in the New Testament, and many widows have not been careful to choose only a Christian mate. Sometimes the feeling of rootlessness and loneliness can be so strong, that widows will marry into troubled situations. Being a homemaker and a teacher of good things to the younger women, will provide some protection for them, as God will bless their obedience to his Will. If they will show a good example of an older woman following the scriptures, they may see clearly to choose a mate wisely and not get into problems by marrying outside of the church.

Widows will find that there is still more than enough that needs to be done at home, but may lack motivation. That is one good reason to reach out to others and share a knowledge of life at home. If a widow has had a good marriage, she can pass on her advice to the younger women.

There is always a problem of finding those who wish to learn, but these days, blogging is a great way to pass on your beliefs to others who are looking for something. If she is not well enough to do anything this ambitious, or to teach at home, it is possible that she can enjoy life by being the best example she can be. That in itself is sometimes a great motivation.

A widow may never have had children, or may have grown children who do not live near her. Without children, she has to be especially careful about the choices she makes, so that she is not taken advantage of. It is best to follow the Bible's guidance for widows and not go headlong into some course of action or commitment that she cannot back out of.  Widows should be careful of the way things appear to others, because there are those who are ready to spread a rumour about just anything they see. Be careful who you are seen with, and who you sit on your front porch chatting with, that it is all above reproach and has only the appearance of good. Be always aware of what others may perceive and be careful to keep your reputation spotless. You will need it should you ever decide to teach younger women.

Women without children can and should have a very full and busy life. Without children, they have the opportunity to get plenty of rest and to have a more leisurely life if they choose to, and be able to do special things for other people. Think of all people you have known who had no children. That favorite Aunt would probably not have been able to spoil you so much if she had a brood of her own. The friend without children may not have been able to take you to tea or shower you with special gifts.  The women without children who were also full time homemakers made a great contribution in the lives of their relatives and friends, for they were always ready to go somewhere or do something, and many of them had wonderful domestic skills and made products that they shared with others.

See also http://makingajoyfulhome.blogspot.com/2011/05/keepers-at-home-are-necessary.html

Mature Audiences Only

As mentioned in a previous post, the younger women become older women, and take with them the habits they formed in their youth. Bad habits are very hard to shake, once they are formed, especially if they involve substances like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Young girls are full of fun and rebellion, wanting to relieve themselves of every stress, and turn to mindless occupations. To learn more about the effects of rebellion in youth, go to my blog for parents at www.guardthehome.blogspot.com

Immaturity takes the form of:

*Mocking everything that is good. This might be "cute" when you are young but translate it to old age and you get someting far more repugnant.

*Sarcasm. Young people today have a propensity to be sour on life, and when they get older, they are even more jaded.

*Drinking and partying. It might seem cool when you are young, to have a beer in your hand and a cigarette in your mouth, but just imagine what it looks like on the elderly.

*Not being a good steward of time. You may get away with unfinished projects and lateness when you are young, but it is a sign of immaturity if you are still doing it as an older women.

*Careless in dress and going unbathed. You might get away with it for awhile, especially if everyone at college is neglecting their appearance and going to school in their pyjamas, but it is more disgusting as you get older.

*Thinking that money is the answer to everything. Mature people are resourceful and do not use lack of money as an excuse.

*Pessimism. Old people who are negative and pessimistic and critical of everything, were once young people who developed these attitudes and cultivated them.

*Turning everything into an argument. Though this was once loftily labeled as "higher criticism," it is just immature rudeness. Skip ahead 50 years and imagine what you will be like as a critical, argumentive old lady.

*Naivity. It is not necessarily innocent to be naive. One is wise and the other is foolish. Naivity may be protected in your youth, but as an elderly person, naivity will rend you powerless.

I posted all this to let the young ones know that if you are not mature you will automatically misconstrue the Biblical teachings for women. Scoffing and simple mindedness is like being constantly drunk. Drunk people do not have good judgement. Who would pay attention to them? Only those who would restrain them. You are in training to be an older woman. I wrote about this several years ago on the Lady Lydia Speaks column at www.ladiesagainstfeminism.org and mentioned that you are practicing to become an old woman with dignity or else you are putting into place habits that will make you an old lady that will never be regarded as having anything worthwhile wisdom to contribute to the young.

I do not think many people realize how much the older women are needed to be good examples. Though there may be no older women in your life that you desire for mentors, you'll just have to take control and start learning how to be one for the next generation. You can build a reputation of being smart and wise in all things regarding the roles of women.

One lesson to be learned is the art of visiting. An older person who wishes to call upon a younger person should first make an appointment. She should phone and find out when would be a good time to drop by. She can say, "I have a little something I'd like to give you. When would be a good time to drop by." She should prepare a gift bag with something in it for her home: maybe a scented candle, a set of measuring spoons, some jam or a new dish towel in her favorite motifs or colors. Fruit or vegetables from a farmer's market is nice, too. Flowers from your garden put in a jar that is hand decorated...sometimes I use a baby food jar and put a rose sticker or decal on it and "frost" it with clear glitter paint, tie with a bit of ribbon, and put fresh mint leaves in it . If there is no money to spare, she can make her something very simple--a batch of homemade cookies, some hand made cards or stationery.

The next thing she needs to know is that she must try not to over-stay. An hour, in my opinion is enough time. That way you won't use up her day and she will look forward to seeing you again. While I love visits, I find their are older women to whom time means nothing, and they will stay from noon til 6 in the evening and only leave when they see me starting to get dinner for my husband.

Another thing she needs to know about is conversation, and to be careful about subjects that would depress or cause anxiety. I find the easiest things to talk about are the things that seem to mean a lot to the young woman in her house, from decorations, collections, quilts, colors, or whatever you find. Also to inquire about how she has been and what she needs help with. Stay away from discussing all your health problems and your own family problems such as the daughter that doesn't speak to you anymore or the cousin that ran away with his boss's sister, leaving behind his wife and family. Don't criticize your husband. Be a cheerful as you can and leave on a high note.

Finally, she should be careful what she wears and not show up in shorts or something sloppy. I have an elderly friend that I never tire of seeing, because she always comes dressed up. I remember James MacArthur talking about his mother, actress Helen Hayes. He said that his mother was very dignified in her appearance, and in the later years when other actresses were showing up at the studio in jeans and sports shoes, Helen said she would not do it, and came "dressed to the nines." A young person can get away with being a bit more casual, but that casual, sloppy look has a terrible effect on an older person.

I am not yet an older person, but having found very few older women that would teach me, I began at the age of 21 to find out more about this role. The Bible seems to indicate that a woman was considered an "older woman" when she was past the age of 65. I wrote an article on the Guard the Home blog called "Doped Up and Dumbed Down; the Demise of the Older Generation." In it I showed how the older people were under doctor's care and most were given pills, disabling their thinking processes so that they could not teach as they should. They sit in front of television sets and feed on what the liberal media is dishing out. They cannot be counted on to give sound counsel. It is best to care for your health as young person and not get dependent on chemicals if you want to be an effective older person.

It is somewhat difficult to explain the feeling I get when I realize that though there are people in the 60's, 70',s 80's and 90's ahead of me who cannot be trusted to give sound counsel and guidance to the younger generation. It is a terrible waste, but a waste that could be prevented if young people would prepare for their old age more carefully. The older people should be running city hall and the government, and we should not be so youth driven. However, we are losing our elderly due to the many vices they practiced in their youth. You will not be a robust, healthy elderly person if you smoke, drink, stay up all night, eat junk food, take drugs and medication (which wears down your internal organs and cause side effects), have a bad attitude, and in general think that life sucks. YOur habits NOW determine your future.

In Search of the Titus 2 Older Woman

Note: Ladies Against Feminism is now updated and you can read my article, "How to Stop Fretting About Politics and Live an Abundant Life." In it I show 7 things that people are trying to do to break down the home, and 7 things women at home can do to thwart them, without taking any time away from the home.

At this point I would like to address the comment from Mrs. Vawser, because I had the same experience. My upbringing was excellent and I was quite capable of managing as a wife, mother and homemaker. However, being married to a man whose job took us all over the world, I did not live near her. In spite of the fact that I had good training, I still needed the older women in the church to be teachers of good things that would encourage me in my home. It would have given me some fuel to go on and some inspiration.

In an effort to learn more deeply about the Biblical role of women, I attended the Ladies Bible Class. What a disappointment! There were no classes taught on the many different aspects of guiding the home. Instead, many of the women wanted to study something "that applied to everyone." They would excuse it by saying that there were single, widowed, divorced women, students, etc. coming and they wanted something for the whole group.

As we moved from place to place, I heard this excuse and offered suggestions for Bible studies that would help the younger women. That way, all women would be involved. The older, though they may have been through women's studies many times, would never tire of it as they saw their opportunity to be used and to teach the younger women. They would get great satisfaction from watching their young proteges succeed in making happy homes and contented husbands.

Prior to the 1900's, when women of the churches got together, it was to sew for the poor or teach the younger women. They shared homemaking hints and had tea together. Later, as I entered my 20's and attended some of the classes, I was very sad to see that they were no longer about such things. Instead of being taught by older women who were crocheting as they spoke, the older women wanted us as a class, to collect labels and turn them in, for some such cause. Other times, throughout the years, these classes turned into cutting and pasting for the bulletin boards at church.

It was the older women who continually rejected the subject of teaching the younger women. Some said they were "tired" of the Proverbs 31 woman or bored with studying the women of the Bible. "We've already studied all that," they would say. However subject matter they chose and the study books they used usually didn't apply to anyone 's personal life, either! Sometimes it would apply only to one person. Most of the material was about how to be nice and kind to everyone but never showed how to prevent your children from rebelling or your marriage from falling apart, or wise use of time regarding house work and home making.

Instead, they chose topics that could have been heard in an adult Bible class or from the pulpit, such as a study of Jeremiah or a study of the symbolism in Revelation, or a study of the different kinds of angels in the Bible. All this is perfectly fine to study, but why in a LADIES Bible class, when such topics were usually already studied in adult classes or preached from the pulpit. In all the churches we attended, the preacher (my husband) usually asked for topics that people wanted to hear about, and even had a box in the foyer for suggestions.

In the meantime, many young women were experiencing the tremendous force against marriage, home and family. Many of them could not manage their income, and many of them felt alone in their struggle to do well at home. Some of their marriages broke up. Sometimes one of the partners would come to the minister for counselling, but as qualified as he was and as excellent of advice he gave, he admitted it was a topic that would have been better covered over time with the older women in the Ladies Bible Study classes.

I could not understand why they wanted to study things that the men could teach. The older women had a responsibility to teach the younger women, but what exactly were they supposed to teach them? Titus 2 was very clear! Occasionally when I was successful in having a Titus 2 class, it was, to my surprise, the older women who made the discouraging remarks such as:

"I already know how to cook. I don't need to come here and discuss cooking.."

"I hate sewing. I don't want to waste my time studying about how to sew. I can buy everything I need."

"I can't stand Proverbs 31. It must be a myth!"

What they did not take into consideration is that the younger women sometimes could not cook or sew and did not have money and wanted to be guided into how to cope in those early years when there is not much money and the husband is just beginning in his profession, or the children are little. I noticed the older women were the ones the most resistant to the Biblical role of women!

They did not like classes about femininity or the distinctive role of women. They wanted to make the Deborah the Judge, and Lydia the seller of Purple , the role models for todays women. Yet there are no instructions for women to become judges or sell products....not that there is anything wrong with it! However Titus 2 was clearly a course for the young and the old as to the focus they should have.

Personally, I am not fascinated with Deborah or with Lydia, as it does not challenge me as much as Titus 2 does. Every word in there can be a unit study lasting for months, if one were to put it into a college course. There were reasons for each of the women mentioned for what they did, but the Bible nowhere recommends their careers as something to emulate.

In the book of Acts, Lydia was apparently hospitable, but many working women today are not. When women went to work, hospitality just about stopped, leaving the burden to the younger women who didn't have the time or the money. I saw younger women in the church trying to shop for church hospitality for a funeral or a wedding, while handling small children, and living on a very tight budget. The older women could have been doing this, especially if their husbands were retired, as they would not have been under the pressure of their husband's work schedules any more. Instead, they were all at work in their later years, and did not participate when there was a need in the church. I saw the Thanksgiving baskets delivered by the young women, because the older women were too tired on weekends to do it.

Finally, as a younger women, I had my fill of sitting through Ladies Bible classes, and quit. I needed the time to work at home and get my house in the kind of smooth running order I needed, in order to feel at peace and give my family a nice home. I enjoyed sharing sewing and decorating ideas with my daughter. Sometimes other mothers would ask us to include their daughters in our projects, which we did.

Abut 16 years ago I was asked to teach a Bible class for women, and I decided that no matter what topic they decided to study, or what chapter in the Bible, I would do my best to enrich it with applicable teachings about women. I try to remind the older women what their duties are and the younger women what they should be concerned with. Time is so short and in just a few years a woman can make a mess of her life. The older women need to be able to detect when a younger one needs a bit of help.

Ladies Bible classes are nice, but they are next to useless if they aren't using the time wisely and training the younger women. They are not really necessary, however, and they do not have to be held regularly. I always thought it might be nice just to have a gathering once in awhile in your home to remind the young women of certain principles of the Christian home, and not have one every week. However if you are not happy with the subject material presented, you might consider having something in your home, as an alternative, once in awhile.

If the older women will not do their duty, then the younger ones can start practicing it. They can be the kind of women they wish the older women would be.

Older Women at Home

A request has been made for me to explain the reason for older women to be guards and guides of the home, even without children to care for. It is sad that such a subject is even necessary to discuss, because for generations, women, whether they were single or childless, married or widowed, were protected from the pressures of earning a living, and the fathers, husbands, brothers and sons, proudly took their responsibility to be good providers and protectors of the family.

The women were then free to develop their talents in just about anything, from gardening to decorating. I had aunts who never had children, yet stayed home, and they were very active, doing many things for themselves and for others.

Garden Table with Blue Chair
Art Print
Stolerenko, Piotr
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One good reason to be at home, even when the children are grown, is to be available. If women would try staying at home, they could understand more clearly what it is like to be available to their families and friends and the church members. They will notice how often they are needed, and wonder what life would be like if they had not been there to rescue someone who forgot their keys, take a packed lunch to someone else, or Once she goes to work outside the home, she looses her flexibility with her time. She cannot receive visitors or accept invitations of other ladies. She cannot go to her children's homes and help them when they are sick, or when they need her for encouragement.

Garden Pond
Art Print
Mirkovich, Nenad
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Yet another good reason for older women to stay home is to preserve their health. They have more opportunity to get adequate rest when they manage their own schedule at home. At home, there is less chance to catch every single cold and sore throat that is going around the workplace.

Women who want to make their homes better places will always benefit from visiting these women who love their jobs at home. It is very encouraging to spend time with older women who are at home full time. This does not mean they are confined. They have more freedom to come and go as they please, without restriction.

Dappled Sun
Art Print
Lombardi, Roberto
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Older women at home is a perfect plan to pass on the values of marriage, home and family to younger women. Men and boys also learn from this example, and will understand the value of the women at home, when they marry. There is nothing more stabilizing than coming home to a house that has been occupied all day by a loving homemaker. The scents and sights; the feeling of it differs greatly from the house that is empty of its residents all day. The men who come from these homes are generally more happy in their business and in life and have less health problems themselves.