Raising Your Own

Watching the Child Play, 1909
Charles Courtney...


Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?  Yea, they may forget, but I will not forget thee.
Isaiah 49:15

Do it yourself.
In view of the strong individualistic nature of the people who once explored and settled this country, it is astonishing and sad that so many mothers are going to work and hiring babysitters to provide physical care for their children.

Remember the old saying: If you want something done right, do it yourself.  You want your child cared for in the best way, you are the answer to your own child's needs; not a baby sitter, not a nanny, not daycare.

 

Allow the family to help, if they are inclined.
Grandmothers want to help their grandchildren, and will be more likely to do so, if the mother is making an effort to stay home and live on the income provided by her husband. It has been a tradition for decades for the grandparents to contribute money to the family. This is what grandparents live for and what they want to do. It is what they have saved for and looked forward to all their lives. If a mother goes to work, the grandparents do not see a "need" as strongly and will not be as likely to give gifts, and decide to invest their money elsewhere.


 Many women today can testify to the fact that the gifts from the grandparents helped them buy clothes and pay bills over the years when the children were little.   As more mothers go to work, the older people do not have as the same incentive to help out monetarily. Families were made to work together to provide strong social units, yet many people reject this system in favor of other ways of providing for the emotional and physical needs of the children.  This does not mean you should expect, or even depend on money from grandparents. It only means that birthday gifts and other special gifts are very helpful to young parents when children are small. Some parents think that if a mother stays home, there is only "one income", but forget to count the many times family and church members have given them money, food, clothes, and gifts, which helps to stretch the income.

 Your child needs you during the most developing moments of his life.

A Mother and Her Two Children in the Garden

from Allposters.com

 You may not think that having a babysitter or using daycare is "raising" your child, but raising children is a mixture of physical care, emotional care and spiritual care. Materialism today insists that as long as you are "providing" for your child by giving him food and a roof over his head, that you are "raising" him. Your child is more than just a physical human being with bodily needs. There is an emotional part of a child that is even more important than clothing or a nice house. Often, parents are more concerned about physical neglect than they are about spiritual neglect. Children who grow up with nice things but without a mother  during the most crucial part of their lives, can lack important elements that help them to distinguish between wisdom and foolishness, right and wrong, understanding and dull- heartedness. There is a big difference in the mental capacity of those adults who have had a strong family upbringing, and those who were farmed out to daycare, schools, and in general, raised by institutions. Emotionally and spiritually, the family-raised children tend to be more mature and more able to grasp important concepts of life.


God created children and their mothers to bond.  Look at the creation around you: even the animals keep their families to themselves and do not find other animals to stay with their young. This was illustrated many years ago in a poem about evolution:

The Monkeys Disgrace

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to another, "Now listen, you two,

There's a certain rumor that cannot be true,

That man descends from our noble race -

The very idea is a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies and ruined her life;

And you've never known a mother monk

To leave her babies with others to bunk,

Or pass them on from one to another

Til they scarcely know who is their mother.

And another thing you'll never see -

A monk build a fence around a coconut tree

And let the coconuts go to waste,

Forbidding all other monks to taste.

Why, if I put a fence around this tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here's another thing a monk won't do -

Go out at night and get on a stew,

Or use a gun or club or knife

To take some other monkey's life;

Yes, Man Descended - That ornery cuss -

But, brother, he didn't descend from us!"

- anonymous

Mother and Son

Be a Full Time Mother until your child is grown.
To turn your child over to someone else while you pursue money or personal fulfillment, is to ignore the example of Mary and Martha, in the Bible. Jesus said that Mary, who was listening to the teachings of Christ, had chosen "the better part."   If you are bent on making money, you are worried about many things. Christians are not supposed to be worried about the things of this world, but to be more concerned with obeying the scriptures, which teach mothers to guide and guard their children (Titus 2:5). When a mother stays at home with her children, she is choosing "the better part." It fulfills other scriptures, because the children learn to obey their parents, not a host of other people all day, (teachers,  bus drivers, coaches, etc). While it is not wrong to obey other authorities, the child must first learn to obey his own parents. Many times when parents have a struggle with obedience in their children, they find that there are too many outside authorities distracting and dividing the child's focus on life.  While a child lives at home, his first allegiance should be to his parents (Deuteronomy 6, and Ephesians 6).

from allposters.com

God made mothers especially to go with their children. The children were not created to be matched up with nannies and babysitters or daycare workers.  Some mothers say, "My child will be just fine, because I have a good sitter. She will get good food during the day and have her diapers changed. My sitter knows how to keep my daughter safe. I pump my breast milk in the morning and then she has the best nutrition from her bottle while I am away." 


This  attitude shows a lack of awareness of the human soul, and the spirit of a child. Let me explain further. When a child feeds at the breast of his mother, he is doing more than just getting nourishment. There is more to it than just filling his tummy with the best milk ever created. There are other things that happen. It produces a sense of security and well-being.  It promotes healthy sleep, heals pain, and strengthens the immune system.

You have heard of the current popular phrase, "separation anxiety"---well, that should never be, because the motehr and child were not designed to be separated. It is normal to feel anxious when mother is not around, and wise mothers will not leave their children  while they pursue other things. Childhood is so fleeting. You will one day turn around and wonder how your children grew up so fast, and how it all happened in such a hurry. Savor those years and be content at home with your children and you will not regret it.

Playing With Baby

from allposters.com

The emphasis on physical care can often diminish emotional care.
It is true that changing diapers, feeding a baby, bathing them, dressing them,  playing with them, and even holding them, can be done by anyone. However, in the natural form of things, a baby is designed to bond with the mother, while these things take place. Even an adopted child, when treated as though he were a natural born child, responds favorably to this bonding.


 While a child is being fed, he looks into his mother's eyes. While he is diapered, he looks up into his mother's eyes. When he is being dressed, he looks at his mother's hands and arms. When a mother holds her baby, the baby is aware of the special scent of his mother.  When playing or holding the baby, he knows how his mother's lap feels. He instinctively knows the difference between his mother's voice and that of a babysitter.

 
A Child's Moments are not Replaceable.
So what is wrong with getting a babysitter while you go back to work? There are a number of things that both the mother and the child lose, when this happens, but first, it is necessary to understand that no place of employment is more important than the care of your own child. The work you do is replaceable. You can train someone else to do your job, and then stay home with your child.

When you leave your child, you miss a lot of his life: his first work, his first tooth, his first step. It might not seem like much, but all this was intended by God to give happiness to the mother. When she misses out on this, she misses out on a certain part of her own personal maturity and development.
Worry is at the base of it. If a mother has a husband who has a job, she should learn to live on his income and not worry about bringing in more, herself. Her job now is to care for her children full time. One day that time of her life will be gone, and she will wonder how it went so fast. While the children are home, mothers need to be home, too.

  Many women worry that they will  not be able to return to their place of employment if they are away too long, but the moments of a child's life are never, ever retrievable.  While you may go back and pick up where you left off at work, doing the same job you always did, a baby grows and changes, and you need to grow and change along with your child.

Places of work and industries change over time. What might have been a promising career may be on the way out, as things change, or jobs are eliminated due to mechanization or lack of money.  It is foolish to depend on a job being there for the rest of your life, or to think that a company will look after you financially all of  your life. Some companies go broke before they can even repay the retirement funds that the employees have paid into it. Mothers need to focus on the emotional and spiritual investment they can make in their children, instead of worrying about retirement, benefits, and insurance.

 '"Fear of man brings a snare," the Bible says," but he who trusts in the Lord will always be safe."  Sometimes a mother will take on a job and explain that it is "just for the insurance."  This is not necessary at all, when insurance is available for the smallest income families, and if they shop around, they can find something affordable. To go to work "for insurance" is to give your days and your life to a place of business while you give your children over to someone else who is in the child care business.

 Children belong at home with their mothers. In the book of Proverbs are many verses which instruct parents to teach and train their children, and to instill wisdom and understanding and knowledge. Babysitters cannot do it. Nannies cannot do it, and daycare cannot do it. A baby may not be able to understand some of the deeper aspects of something like wisdom, but by staying home with him, he develops the wisdom of his mother: my mother loves me and is my full time caregiver.  When you turn him over to someone else, his wisdom is developed in a different way: a babysitter is the way we look after children. From a very tender age, a child develops his values from those he is around the most. Who will your child copy, emulate, immitate, look at, and obey?


 One danger of having babysitters, nannies and daycare when children are small, is that it makes it easier to turn them over to the State for the remainder of their youth, to be indoctrinated in the government schools. Through daily separations, mother and child become more detached from one another and in the end there are two people related to one another without a real relationship.

Feminist indoctrination from youth can make a young mother feel that she must go to work and put her child in the care of a babysitter. She has seen her mother and grandmother do it, all her friends do it, and it looks like a normal course of life to her.

In some cases, women who have worked for many years and waited quite awhile after they married in order to get financially ready to have children, will only stay home after their baby is born for a few months, and then go back to work. These women have already worked, and "served their time" in the work place outside the home, having taxes extracted by government and state to support all the welfare programs and free things the state provides.


 Why do they want to leave the child they have waited so long for?  In some cases, it is a life of indoctrination, or belief, that causes them to go to work in the office and leave their child with a sitter: They may have mothers who were feminists and pride themselves on their degrees, which cost them a lot of money, time, and effort,  which they believe they must put to use at all times. They raised their own daughters to get such a high education that they think they too should keep plodding away at work, while someone else stays home and enjoys the changes and the growth of their child. 


Young mothers may also be steeped in feminism, which robs them of their natural instinct to be with their own children during the most teachable and impressionable moments of the day.  Growing up in schools and colleges, they learn to be workers outside of the home, instead of workers at home, like the Bible says, and  they outsource their own children to other workers outside of their homes.


 They may also feel compelled to leave their daughter or son with someone else so they can retrieve the job they had, and keep it until retirement. They worry about benefits and insurance, more than they worry about the love they share with their children. Women's studies classes in major universities promote the idea of working rather than staying home just to nurture and teach their own children until they grow up.  Surrounded by feminist mothers and grandmothers, other career women, and their friends from college,  particularly the women's studies classmates, who believe that children are best developed in daycare and schools, mothers have a lot of pressure as well as "support" to follow this path.


The love of money, the Bible says, is the root of all kinds of evil. This is another reason that mothers leave their children, but in the quest for money to pay their rent or house payment, they lose something very precious: the natural closeness they would have with their children. They do not know how much they will need this in later years. They tend to think their children are just like other children and we are all one big family.  However, each child was made to mentally and spiritually and physically bond with their own mother, not with a sitter or a nanny.  No sitter can ever love your child the way that child is supposed to be loved.  No one can provide the kind of bonding that God created just for a mother and her child. Christian women should not be like Martha, worrying about the physical things of life more than about the spiritual things. When they become more concerned about insurance, benefits and retirement, than they are about every growing moment of their child's life, they are not choosing the "better part."



I pray that all mothers that are leaving their children today will turn around and go home. If you will do what God says to do, you'll be provided for.Many women have done this, and found out that the sky did not fall, and they did not lose everything or end up living in a cardboard box. It is an opportunity to test your faith.

There are many women who cannot have children and long for them, desperately. They see young mothers taking their child-bearing years for granted, and leaving their children so that they can go to work. These childless women grieve at this. Some women wait a long time to have children, and would not dream of doing anything else but raising them. There is a time for everything. During your child's stay with you in your home, is the time to be home with them.

A Little Coaxing

by Bougeureau

To read more about the other benefits of breastfeeding, go here

See also, "No Need For Nannies" here.

To print this post, go here .

No Need For Nannies

The Shell

by Elizabeth Gardner Bougeureau (wife of William Adolphe Bourgeureau)

American, 1837-1922

Mother and Child

by Emile Munier

Mother and Child

by Frederick Leighton

Father's Return

by Frederick Morgan

Madras

by Edouard Boubat

Maternal Affection

by Emile Munier

My Peace

by Sterling Brown

A Mother's Joy

by Bessie Pease Guttman

Moonbeams

by Jessie Wilcox Smith

Sweet and Low

by Jessie Wilcox Smith

Mother and Her Three Children Awaiting at the Garden Gate for Father

Playing With Baby

by Julius Berg

An Interior With a Mother and Her Child

Mother Wishes Her Two Children Goodnight

Mother Love

by Walter Langley

Three Girls Praying

by Pam McCabe

(buy at Allposters.com)

 
There has been a lot of scandal regarding the current trend of employing nannies in our society. What a shame that a can-do people have become so dependent on agencies, schools, nannies and babysitters to care for and raise their children.

 The artists have captured a natural picture of love that mothers have for their children. While some people think that you have to be rich in order to stay home with your children, these paintings do not depict wealthy surroundings. Doing simple, natural things, like showing something of nature to a child, holding them, and sharing the simple things in life is all that a child really needs.

Young women need to marry and have children of their own, rather than desiring to become nannies. They can then be the nanny for their own children. If young women spend too much time raising other people's children, they be discouraged from having their own children.  Mothers need to take care of their own children, because they were created for it.


  Mothers and children were made to interact with one another, and each one will mature and grow from the relationship they form with each other. It is not natural for a mother to go to work for someone else while she hires another person to look after her children.


 Mothers, won't you please stay home with your little ones?  They need you so much, and no one else will do! You are not replaceable. There is no substitute for the mother in the most receptive and teachable moments of a child's life.


I have read that some mothers who take their children to parks to play will see nannies with other people's children, and report them to their employers if they are neglecting the children in their care. Sometimes these nannies will be on their cell phones while the children are getting in harm's way in a play-park, or sometimes the nannies are just abusing the children.


 A mother may be watching this and report a nanny to the employer (the child's mother) and the employer will fire the nanny. Then, the parent will hire a new nanny. In my opinion, it would be better to talk to the child's mother and impress on her the importance of becoming the child's own nanny and being a real mother by staying at home with her child. 


 Childhood is so fleeting, and mothers should be with their children in those formative years, doing simple things at very little expense.  Women in the past have done it, with less comfort and less luxury than is available today.  Our mothers thought that raising children was their duty and their responsibility and did not want to give the job to anyone else.  There is an important influence that the mother has on her children, for she blesses them with her values and her beliefs.

Jane Austen (1775-1817)  gave a low opinion of the nanny business in her novel "Emma," where a young, single woman named Jane Fairfax referred to it as the governess-trade:

"Governess trade, I assure you was all that I had in view; widely different, certainly, as to the guilt of those who carry it on; but as to the greater misery of the victims, I do not know where it lies."

There are certainly victims in the nanny business today: the women who become nannies can be held liable for injury or death of a child. A child in the care of a nanny is denied instant access to his mother, whom he needs in order to develop normally. The mother misses out on learning about her child's needs, and misses out of course, on the "firsts" of her child: first word, for step, first tooth, first waking moment, etc.

Gwen Webb wrote in her book, "Training Up A Child" (1977, The Old Landmarks Press) of a woman who kept on working even after her husband had found adequate employment. She had left her children for years, and even though she attended worship three times a week and heard many Bible lessons, she had somehow failed to be impressed with the importance of her mission of motherhood.  In one of the Training Up A Child classes, Mrs. Webb implored the ladies  to understand what God's expectations were for them as mothers.  The woman's heart was so deeply touched, that she cried all night, and then resigned from her job with the airlines. It broke her heart to think what she had missed in all those years of leaving her children.

Later, she confessed that she was happier than ever staying home with her children and was leading a far more interesting life than she ever experienced while working away from home.

Mrs. Webb wrote in another chapter:

"No matter how highly a baby-sitting service has been assessed, it still leaves us with the fact that mother's devotion is superior to the best of child-care services."

She cited a conversation she had with a case-worker when she was adopting a child:

"Many of her professional services were rendered to juvenile court. Just a few doors away from her offices were courtrooms. As she talked, she gestured with her hands and said, 'In my judgement, the majority of the juvenile cases we deal with in the courts could be eliminated if mothers would return home.' "

Mothers have the important duty of teaching their children to believe in God and to pray and prepare for the life ahead. Who will do this if the Mother goes somewhere else for the main part of the day?  God told the Israelites in Dueteronomy 6:6-8, to teach their children as they sat in their houses, as they walked by the way, as they lay down and when they rose up:

Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it:



 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

The duty was given to the parents, not to a substitute. They were  not told to outsource their parental responsiblities. There is a lot more at stake than mere child care. A mother's presence is essential for the emotional and spiritual well-being of her children.

Post Script:   I agreed to add this from an email I received:

It is even more shocking to see women who get degrees in "child development"  and work for daycares and schools for children whose mother's work.  These girls do not want to marry or have children, but they work all day with children.  This is a bizarre twisting of the word of God, which states that young women should marry, bear children, and keep house (in that order!)  Money is at the root of it, but no amount can ever replace a childhood.

 Motherhood was once regarded in such high esteem that artists tried to capture the look and the feeling on canvas. Would any artist paint a daycare worker or a teacher with children in such a sentimental way as the paintings of Jessie Wilcox-Smith, Munier, Bougeureau, Bessie Pease Gutman, Frederick Morgan, Frederick Leighton, or Walter Langley?  Those artists seemed to get mothers and children in real poses that still occur in real life when a child leans on his mother's knees, sits on her lap, or is cradled by her.

 Money should not be the criteria in whether or not you stay home with your children. Be willing to live in something cheaper and maybe out in the country and get rid of the habit of trying to look trendy, with fancy clothes and shoes, etc. Cast aside the materialistic expectations and hold your children, read to them, talk to them as you do your housework, and notice every expression and every attitude, every movement they have.  No social worker or day care worker or nanny can possibly be that interested in your child.There is no replacement for the mother.

Mrs. Webb also wrote in her book, "Training Up A Child":

Dear Daddy and Mother,

You have been very busy getting me ready every day for school. You say that it is very important that I get an educagtion. That is why you see that TV is not turned on until I have prepared my lessons for the coming school day. That is why you see that I get to bed early to prepare my body for the physical strains of school.

Yes, getting an education is a must, to prepare one for the social demands of this life; but tonight, Daddy and Mother, when I am asleep, won't the two of you tip-toe into my room and steal a look at my sleeping face? There may be a tear on my cheek, though my cares of the departed day have gotten lost somewhere in dreamland. Look at me, and ask yourselves how much spiritual education you are you giving me...Is it more important to be a doctor than to be a Christian?...Is it more important to be a nurse than an angel of God?...What kind of person do you really want me to be? Now is the time to educate me spiritually. After I have opened the door of adulthood, it may be too late.

Please, Daddy and Mother, I need Spiritual Education too, through regular Bible study and worship.

Lovingly,
Your irreplaceable child...

If a child has a mother who is alive, it is she who ought to be caring for him day and night, not a nanny.

I grew up in an era where mothers stayed home with their children, and made great sacrifices to do so. These dear mothers did not care about personal career satisfaction or moeny-earning abilities. They cared about their children's safety and about what was going into their minds and how they were developing as human beings. They knew that emotional bonding was very essential to the whole child.  If on occasion they had to get someone to stay with the children, it was a responsible older woman from the same community who already knew the family. The rare occasions would have been to help a sick friend, to attend a funeral, to go to the doctor or hospital themselves, or some other real emergency. These dear mothers were used to taking their children everywhere and including them in their lives. The children were so used to being with their mothers that the family could go to stores and restaurants easily and without a lot of fuss.  This is because of the bonding between parent and child.

It is possible that mothers want nannies because they see it is the way of life today. But one by one, this awful trend can be reversed. If you are thinking of getting a nanny, please try first to find homeschool mothers on the web and learn how to live at home with your children. There are many good blogs that share this wonderful plan.

Three Rules for the Home

 

A Victorian Mother Surrounded by Her Children

I grew up in an era when parents were their children's authority,  protectors and teachers of values. They were concerned with some basic things that would guide us throughout our lives.  Having a conscience before God was a priority in our training, and that involved learning concepts like understanding, wisdom, instruction, in the Biblical sense. Two important things were taught by many families of the time: stay out of trouble with the law, and earn your own living.

From the New Testament comes this command, written to the members of the church in Thessalonica in the year 50 A.D. Written to people on how to behave once they become Christians, it is perfect for the home :

...study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

 First Thessalonians 4:11-12

From this passage, many parents of the era found three rules for the home: learn to be quiet, mind your own business, and get busy.

They believed that idle hands produced mischief, and if young people were not busy, they would meddle in the lives of others or get into serious trouble in the community.  Leisure time was not considered idleness, as resting, reading, writing, sketching, walking, or in our case, a row-boat ride, was using the time productively and minding your own business.

Reading, 1865

by Jerry Barret

Study to Be

Studying is an essential part of maturing and interacting within the home, but it must be a productive type of study, not based upon worldly wisdom, but on sound doctrine, intended for learning how to behave in life. Study human behavior in the Bible, study a situation before entering into a conversation or involving yourself in a project, study the old paths, where the good walk is (Jeremiah 6:16). Observe and study the consequences and rewards of certain speech, behavior and character of people around you. 


 Learn from the distant past and the not-so-distant past, the effect of speech, a busy or idle life, meddling or minding one's own business.  The Bible says to think about these things and to meditate on them. (First Timothy 4, verse 15)

Lady Looking at Drawings 1894

by Adolphe Balimbau

Quiet

 Learning to be quiet is more than just keeping your mouth shut. It means studying a situation and determining whether or not to even mention a certain subject, or whether it is necessary to bring up a sore point or talk about a past offense, or any kind of inappropriate talk about vile or gross subjects.

We tend to enjoy  the out-going, fun-loving, talkative personality, and there is nothing wrong with that, but the quiet and gentle personality is praised by God:

...a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

First Peter 3, verse 4

The person who has studied to have a meek and quiet spirit does not necessarily quit talking, but rather, they use wisdom in what they talk about, knowing what will produce arguments and understanding what will cause someone to stumble. A meek and quiet spirit is not a say-nothing, do-nothing attitude. It means that a person has learned when to speak, to whom to speak, and what to say, that is appropriate.  It means learning what is private and should not be spoken out loud, and not making flippant conclusions and not saying things before hearing the entire matter.Some children have the habit of walking in when a conversation is being conducted, and contributing their opinion without knowing the entire matter. Sometimes they come in at the end of a conversation and assume that it is about something that it is not, and draw false conclusions.

If you will watch the making of the film series "Wives and Daughters," you will see one of the main actresses who plays "Molly" say that her character was a young girl in the past, who, like young girls today, needed to learn what was appropriate and what was not appropriate to say, and that she had to learn not to just blurt out whatever she thought.

Mother and Son

by Pam McCabe

These things all take instruction, study, learning and understanding. Parents at home have a big job to do to train their children how to think, and they should remember the old adage: Use your mind to develop their minds.  Mothers sometimes say they are bored, lonely, lacking in adult conversation, but there is a great opportunity at home to talk to your children in an adult way to develop their thinking and train children in righteousness and the admonition of the Lord.

 A mother who longs to talk to someone needs to talk to her children, within certain appropriate boundaries, about life, about how to analyze behavior and attitudes and how to draw scriptural conclusions. The way a person speaks has a lot to do with how a person behaves. When talk is allowed to go on unfettered, and no quietness is enforced in the home, it can, at times, lead to unrestrained behavior. The tongue must be governed by wise teaching, for, as the Bible says, it guides the whole body, as a small rudder guides a great ship. (James 3) 

 
Just as the admonition to study to be quiet works in the body of believers, it creates harmony in the home. Parents need to understand that sometimes it takes a bit of effort to correct the speech of their children, from improper grammar and pronunciation to faulty beliefs, in order to establish quietness and peaceful behavior in the home. 

Hanging the Clothes

by Mildred Heatherington

 
Mind Your Own Business
Minding your own business begins with the previous principle of studying to be quiet.
 
To teach children to mind their own business, they must first be told what is not their business, and learn to distinguish between meddling and helping.  Parents are the best people to determine this within their own individual families.  To be able to mind your own business, you have to have some work and some interests that will keep you out of trouble. Minding your own business means to be busy at something that is so absorbing that the things other people are doing are faded into the distance in your mind.  To mind your own business means to think of ways to improve your manners, your skills, your thoughtfulness, your contribution to the home. To meddle means to monitor what everyone else is doing and to interfere with their progress. Parents of course are authorized to monitor their children's speech and behavior and to use it as opportunities to teach them.
 
Being courteous is one form of minding your own business. When you see someone happily going about their own business of working hard, being helpful, and in general helping the family, be courteous enough to either help them in their goal or leave them alone.
 
Minding our own business is an age old tradition in a free country.  Most people want to be left alone to work at the things that interest them, and want to raise their families without government interference or regulation.  When children are raised to know how to mind their own business and not meddle or control others, they are less likely to encourage meddlesome practices in the community or government. A child raised to mind his own business is less likely to oppress others or become a tyrant.
 
Learning to mind your own business will prevent discord in marriage. When men and women learn what their own business in the home really is, they can prevent many conflicts. While it all depends on the individual, there are some women who like to be left alone to make decisions in the kitchen or the house and garden, while men might like to be left alone to work in their office, land,  shop or garage. Minding your own business involves the previous principle of being quiet when the other person is concentrating on their own work at home.
 
 

 
Work With Your Own Hands
Working with your own hands begins with the previous principles of studying to be quiet and to mind your own business.
 
No matter what your situation in life, it is important that you put your hand to something that is good and useful and productive.  Whether it is work or leisure, the important thing is that you keep your hands occupied in your own business.  A mother will be using her hands to guide her little children and teach them how to work with their own hands. A homemaker will be using her hands to clean her house. Children should not grow up having everything done for them, but should learn to be busy with their own hands. Children are eager to help and love order. Parents should seize such moments when their children want to help them fold clothes, water the garden, sweep floors or wash dishes, and avoid the tendency to think that because it is faster to do it yourself, you should not let them help. That is what a mother is home all day for: to develop her children's minds and to teach them to do things that are worthwhile.
 
Teach children to do something creative that might one day bring them a living. It is not wise to depend on future jobs being available through large companies, as so many of them may not even be there when the child is grown.  Teach them to take things apart and learn to repair them. Teach them how to create things of use, and how to work. Working with your own hands is more than giving a swipe at a table to clean it or pushing the broom carelessly to sweep. It means doing the most excellent job, above and beyond what is just necessary, and not trying to  get by with the least possible effort.


 Working with your own hands is in a sense, putting your signature on your work, as if it was an original painting or story. Your work tells others about your character, whether you are weak and not trying to do well, or whether you are trying to do the best you can and trying to make good use of time.
 
Certainly, there are volumes to be said about the concept of working with your own hands, but these are just a few things regarding working at home.  A woman who truly wants to be noble and good, will give her house the very best of herself, turning it into a masters painting with her signature on it.
 
 

Interior With Woman Reading

by Carl Larssen

 
That Ye May Have Lack of Nothing
 
When you have laid a good foundation of being quiet, minding your own business, and working with your own hands,  you'll find that you can either make what you need or sell what you have made, and will suffer less hardship in life.  To have no need of anything, one must first learn to be attentive to things that concern him, and not be wasting time being idle or meddling in other people's lives.   One thing builds upon another. Without initially learning to be quiet and mind your own business, one will find it difficult to work with his own hands.  Without working with his own hands, one will always be needy.
 
In the Lord's church, there is less suffering among the members, and less discontent, when each member finds something to do and takes his focus off others and tries instead to improve himself.
 
One of the things I am most grateful for is the early teaching I had to be resourceful and to make things from materials that were available, and to look for possible ways to do , make, invent, create, and think. The previous generation would have been too proud to ask for anything to be done for them or given to them, without first trying to find a way to do it themselves. They did not want to be a burden on anyone, and they taught their children the same beliefs.
 
These three rules for the home are not as simple as they look. Home school parents could study for months on each one and still not reach the limit of knowledge and understanding of them.
 
Study, be quiet, mind your own business, get busy, and you will find peace in the home, contentment and fulfillment in life, and you will be able to stay out of trouble with authorities and earn your own living.