Saturday, January 02, 2010

A New Year At Home


Winter Twilight
by Helmut Glassl, Czechoslovakian




 It is important for women to reclaim their homes and take back their responsiblities as homemakers, not because it is easy, or because it is difficult, but because it is the right thing to do. Remember the old saying: If you want something done right, do it yourself. In becoming a homemaker, a woman is becoming a resourceful, do-it-yourself-er. This brand new year is an ideal time to begin the adventure at home.

  Before the modernists got a grip on the world, through education and the media, it was perfectly natural and desireable for women to claim the home as their responsibility and their place of work. If a married woman went to work somewhere else, her husband would feel ashamed that he could not provide for his family. If a man did provide for his family, but his wife went to work, she would be demeaning him as a man.  It was a great source of pride for a man to be the breadwinner, enabling his wife to concentrate on matters of the home. To see her happily making their house a beautiful place where he could bring home visitors and where the children could thrive and learn good values, was a great accomplishment.  

by Helmut Glassl
                                                
 Today, there are plenty of women who could be home, but they do not know that it is possible. Years of indoctrination in the public schools (and sadly, even churches), have programmed women to believe they must join the hunt, with men. Men, also have come to believe that in order to "make it" financially, their wives must work.

As this new year progresses, I hope women will ignore the fickle, prevailing culture, and go back to the Bible for their standard of living. They can stay home, confidently tackling the challenges of teaching their own children, and looking after their own husbands and their own property.

There is no reason to think you will be miserable at home. Homes these days have beautiful furniture and modern conveniences, such as running water, good drains, electric cook stoves, and refrigerators.  Women before this time had none of these conveniences, and yet they still managed to stay home. Life at home today is better than it has ever been.

by Carl Valente
                                                   
                                            
                                                 
 I remember when the first news broadcasts loudly announced that it was no longer possible for a family to live on "one income."  Yet, many had done so, for centuries.  It was not necessarily cheaper to live, back in the days when the woman happily guarded her home and made it a beautiful refuge for her husband and children.  It was not even as convenient.  You could not buy cheap, manufactured things  and you had to knit your own socks. Home furnishings, such as cabinets or furniture, were more often home-built. House work was more labour intensive, (for example, washing clothes by hand, or growing most of your own food) and yet, even poor women stayed home. It was not a matter of affordability. It was a matter of doing what was right and what needed to be done.

Jesus said, "With men, it is impossible: but with God, all things are possible. " Mark 10:27.  Surely if God gives women the privilege of being at home (Titus 2) he would not prevent them from doing so.
                                               
If someone had poked fun at homemakers back in the 50's and accused them of laying around doing nothing all day, they would have been put in their place in short order.   Since they apparently believed that women did nothing, they would receive nothing from them: no meals, no clean laundry, no warm hearth, no amiable conversation, no shelter.  Today, the homemaker is expected to receive insults while accommodating the deliverers of such tripe. 

If someone made a disparaging remark about the messy condition of the house, mothers wasted no time putting the complainer to work cleaning it up.  If anyone came home and insulted the homemaker about her housekeeping capabilities, they would be expected to pitch in and make up for any of her inadequacies, or go elsewhere.  If anyone was not happy, they were expected to keep quiet and keep their resentments to themselves, or learn to clean up after themselves and not create more work for the homemaker.

Today, the homemaker seems to have lost the authority that women of old once had in their own homes. Today, a woman can hardly choose a color of drapes  or clothing, sew, have a hobby, entertain strangers, rearrange furniture, without interference from those in the home and outside the home who never lift a finger to wash a dish or sweep a floor in that same house. 

 Even after returning to the home from the ridged public work-force, women are finding that they are being controlled by the outside world. They are home, but somehow have lost their freedom.  They are controlled by the opinion of others. They are controlled by the bad manners and bad habits of others. This new year at home, I hope to show how you can be home and take charge of it and make everyone infinitely happier for it.

It would be nice if the homemaker could be just left alone to do her job in peace and explore her creative side to make the home a pleasant  place, but there is now a battle going on to eliminate the homemaker. The remarks aimed at her will be intended to break down her resolve. The debilitating rudeness she will confront, is part of the territory of the stand she is taking, by being a homemaker. Most homemakers go into it expecting to be fully free from conflict, as they just want to mind their own business. There are those who do not want you to be content or to mind your own business. They want to mind your business and get you to quit it. Therefore, it is necessary that you recognize all the tactics of those who are jealous of you and do not want to see you succeed in having a loyal family and a well-ordered home and house.

You will hear the discontented whining of those who follow the popular way of life.  They will not be happy at what you are doing. They will tell you that you are just a free loader, that you dont keep house well enough to justify being home, and that you dont get along with people. They may call you an isolationist, a hermit, a reactionary.  They will say that you are conceited and that you think you are better than other people. They will spout out the common phrase, "Yes, but not everyone can be a full time homemaker," as if that makes any sense at all. It is just a shot at you to distract and confuse you. If that does not work, they will call you "crazy" and suggest that you see a therapist. 

The Bible teaches to think on what is lovely, pure and good.  You should not be surprised at the resistance against this. The enemies of the home know you want a pretty house and a comfortable one that you enjoying being in, day after day. They aim to thwart that. They do it in several ways. One is to attack you or your sanity. They will ask you how in the world you find anything to do at home all day. They will say that you make "too big a deal" over house keeping. They will want you to relax your standards. When you try to keep the house orderly, they will say you are too obsessed with housework. Another tactic to break down your sense of who you are and what you are doing, is to accuse you of wasting your time.
                                                                
 When you become serious about  homemaking, there will be someone who will mock you. The tactic used to break people down, so that they fall into depression or discouragement, is to first make fun of something they are doing, or to trivialize it so that it seems silly and unintelligent. It will usually get a sensitive person to abandon the plan. Take, for example, wearing dresses at home or wearing an apron. Someone will try to run you down or make you feel so embarrassed about it, that you will go back to looking like everyone else, just so you wont have to endure the mockery.

  If trying to make you feel humilated because you have pink flowers growing in your yard, or you have thrown a pretty blanket over the back of your couch, or you are serving tea from a precious tea cup found at a favorite gift shop, does not work, then they will attack you.  They will tell you that you are living in a dream world. That is an old line. The trouble with these negative people is that they really are living in their own dream world: a world of bleak nothingness, where individuality is not allowed. They tear down any kind of creative enterprise, or any kind of home improvement.  They are impossibility thinkers who  produce nothing of value. The Bible says "By their fruits, ye shall know them."  If you look at the fruits of such gloomy broadcasters, you will see that he or she has left a trail of destruction in their personal relationships and their habits. These kinds of critics wallow in jealousy and the fear that you are going to succeed at something.  A lot of these attitudes should have been corrected in childhood, but the children were sent to be raised by outside sources. During their years in government schools, they were fed a diet of Marxism, a belief that people are just cells in a huge government brain, unable to think individually for themselves.  As Karl Marx was an arguer who could not even discuss the weather without turning it into an argument, his followers are also arguers.  It is the mothers who stay home and correct such poisonous attitudes, that will help the future generations. This is one good reason to educate your own children at home.The most poductive way to overcome such attacks, is to do it more and do it better.  The home will glow with accomplishment and you will grow in knowledge and skill.

Gathering the Winter Fuel
by Joseph Farquharson, Scotland, 1846-1935

Heating the home was a lot more work for the homemaker, than it is today.
                                                                       
Life at home is much easier now, and homemakers do not have to do everything by hand. They have access to instant communication via telephones and computers. They have grocery stores where they can get every imaginable thing to make the table interesting. There are books and magazines available on how to cook, sew, and decorate. When a woman discovers all there is to do at home, she barely has time to feel lonely or isolated or unsupported. This is a good year to be a homemaker, and I hope throughout the months, I can provide a few articles and ideas to make home living successful for both the young and the old.

86 comments:

Anonymous said...

God bless you, Lady Lydia. I absolutely love your blog, and I look forward to each and every article you write.

Loving obedience and joyful loyalty to God's Word is so rare now, but it is here on your blog. I pray for a true Holy Spirit revival, which will lead to a reformation in this country (USA) and the entire world. I want to see beautiful, peaceful, godly families formed and then stay together! Generation after generation. Each family member faithfully taking up his and her God-appointed roles is vital to a blessed, God-honoring, healthy, moral, and prosperous society.

My sister, who is a stay-at-home wife and homemaker, faces constant discouraging belittlement because she is not earning money. All her hard work and quality-of-life-raising industry in the home is discounted by others (except her dh and me). This kind of belittlement is totally immoral and anti-Christ, and only serves to show the materialistic and the family-and-society-disintegrating Marxist "values" of the belittler.

I would especially love to see more articles regarding thrifty homemaking, as so many mistakenly associate a wife "being able to afford" to stay home with wealthy or middle-class incomes. Yet, so many who claim to be so poor that the wife CANNOT stay home and raise her children and homemake somehow manage to spend money on daycare, cable TV, multiple TVs, electronic gadgets, restaurants, chips and soda pop, second cars, leased cars, expensive gifts, extra clothing and shoes, paying someone to give them (and their daughters) mani-pedi's, rock concerts and bars, gym memberships, credit cards, furniture bought on credit, etc. Many women have acquisitive expectations far beyond what their husbands could possibly earn. They break the backs of their husbands.

Men and women need to learn to live as far below their means as possible to create a savings cushion and be able to gain financial and material ground over the course of their marriage.

Many times, wives are working to support "chronically out-of-work" husbands and "technically-adult" sons, who do not understand their Biblical duty AS MEN to work to support their families. If the wife has to work because the husband will not work, perhaps a temporary separation is in order, until the husband can repent of his gross immorality and find honest, paid work, so that the wife can quit her outside work and the husband can move back in. (2 Thess. 3:6-15; 1 Tim. 5:4-14) Even if all a husband can find is a low-paying job, he is doing his best to fulfill his duty as a man. (Just as a woman must do her best to fulfill her duty as wife, mother, and homemaker, though imperfectly.)

Another common problem is that women are loose and start "families" with men who are not husband and father material. Women immorally associate intimately with men who are immoral and who do not want family life. The men and the women do not understand self-sacrifice and denial of selfish impulses because the Christianity that undergirded the prosperous foundations of this society has eroded so dangerously. It's very un-PC to say, but immorality is often a root cause of extreme poverty.

Fortunately, at my church there are several hard-working, stay-at-home, homeschooling mothers whose husbands work very hard to support their families, and I thank God for them. I will be sure to look for opportunities to give a word of encouragement to these dear ones on the forefront of a Godly turnaround toward Biblical home economics.

Sorry for the long post; I appreciate your blog so much. Please keep up the good work!

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

To the first comment: there is a formula that the destroyers follow: mock, attack, confuse, distract, blame, and condemn. In the Bible, Job said to his detractors "mock on." While they are spending time trying to derail you, you are busy building up a history at home. They will have nothing to show the next generation except failed lives spent in material pursuits. You will have a family album showing the values you believed in.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

"but immorality is often a root cause of extreme poverty."

This is because it costs money to make mistakes. Every failed relationship can make you poorer. drinking and smoking makes you poorer. Seasons tickets to ballgames doesnt make you richer. Paying for streaked hair, long fake nails, name brand bags, clothing with labels, etc . can make a person feel good for awhile but it makes you poorer. You dont need much, to survive, and you can have money to help others, if you just eliminate all those unnecessary extras and concentrate on things that really benefit the home.

Anonymous said...

I know several women who thought they would be better off without their husbands. THey are now in their mid-fifties, on their feet working, developing high blood pressure and other health problems, losing sleep and becoming exhausted. They got rid of their husbands and live alone, but they are not better off for it.Unwise decisions also cost money!

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine feeling miserable as a homemaker! I have read odd things about women feeling suffocated because they are "stuck at home with the kids and the drudgery of housewok" but I have no idea why they feel that way. How sad! I've also heard of the ugly, frumpy "housewife uniform" or "mom uniform" of sneakers, jogging pants, and sweatshirt. UGH!! Why would any mother want to bum around in that stuff all day? We don't have to wear junk clothes or feel suffocated... I guess it really depends on our additudes? I feel so blessed to be home!! This is MY domain. I work for my husband ~ not some boss that is only concerned about making a profit for his/her/their company! I am the Queen, the CEO, the second-in-command. And I didn't need to get an MBA or wear a "power suit" to achieve this position!

I like what you said about how if God gave us women the privlidge of being homemakers He wouldn't make it impossible for us to be just that!

God bless!
~Coffee Catholic

Anonymous said...

P.S. I agree with the first commentor. I see it myself all of the time! The guilt trip: "I wish *I* could afford the luxury of staying home..." (As if I'm supposed to feel guilty for staying home myself?) And yet how much money is spent on cable TV, cell phone contracts, rather large apartments/houses (as in: you don't need to live in a place this big. Downsize!) often located in areas with a high cost of living because no one wants to live in the "shabbier" (thus less expensive!) neighborhoods that are located slightly further away or in the next town over. (Oh, and the cost of air-conditioning and heating these homes is considerable!)

The kids each have their own rooms loaded with computers and TVs, video games... the house is full of new furniture, they have two cars ~ usually with big car payments rather then being fully-paid second hand cars.

That's not to mention the daycare expenses, car insurance, fuel for commuting to work, money spent on eating lunch outside the home every day and all the take-out food bought because mom's too tired or too out of time to cook. Just the cost of buying processed ready-made foods is enough to make any woman have to work!

I've lost count of the times I've told my complaining "I wish *I* had the luxury of staying home" counterparts: "buy bulk foods, cook from scratch, get rid of that second car, shut down the cable TV, get your kids out of daycare, get rid of the cell phone, buy second-hand everything and practice hand-me-downs, and move to a smaller home where your kids share rooms..." only to be met with gapes of horror! And loads of excuses.

I don't buy the, "We can't afford to let me stay home with the kids" line any more. It's utter nonsense. Even single young 20-somethings are living lives that are overloaded with unnecessary expenses that they'll then drag into marriage and parenthood while saying, "We can't afford to let me stay home!" What my parents couldn't afford until their 40's and 50's young folk want RIGHT NOW at any expense, even to the point of going into impossible debt and forcing mom to have to work like a dog and looking at me as if I somehow hit a lucky break. It's so very sad!

~Coffee Catholic

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I really appreciate this post. I have encountered most, if not all, of the detraction you describe in the ten years I have been a homemaker. I have to admit, it has worn me down sometimes, especially because our own extended family members (often the baby boomer generation) were sometimes the ones making unkind comments and ignoring me because of what I do all day.

Like most families these days, we have extended family members who are unwed parents. They are favored over us and their children are treated better than mine. I think that is because others are jealous of my situation with a husband that loves and supports me.

I am going to try harder this year not to let these things bother me. It would not bother me if the hatred of homemaking was directed just at me, but the net of disapproval has been cast over my children as well and that is very hard to take. The sad thing is, many of these baby boomer relatives are starting to have health problems and I know they are going to eventually expect me to help take care of them. I suspect there will not be so much disapproval then.

Anonymous said...

This is a timely article for me,as I am saddened lately with friends who started out being committed to the home who have now entered the workforce as full-fledged "career women" who now have little time for their own families, let alone maintaining friendships. I am suddenly feeling a little bit "left behind". Not that I'm tempted to run out to get a career, but just a bit grieved at how these friends have been influenced by the world to pursue all the trinkets and baubles that money can buy. I would never have expected them to give up! Thanks for staying the course and encouraging us all to do the same.

Do you have any specific encouragement regarding this feeling of loneliness and abandonment as other, formerly like-minded friends leave their homes for the workplace? And any advice on how to encourage them to return home?
Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it ironic how the technological advances that make life at home easier seem to have provided the impetus for women leaving the home?

In days past, the work was so labor-intensive that it was recognized that someone must be there to attend to it. Now that so much is automated, we are led to believe that there is nothing to do at home.

Just lately, I have begun to wonder if the modern conveniences are often used by Satan to get us to depend on them, and to turn our dependence from the Lord and following his ways--and to turn us all into cookie-cutter versions of one another, as we all have lost the ability to create unique clothing and other items for our families, depending instead on whatever is available at the closest retailer. What a loss for us, and what a gain for all the corporate retailers! Thanks for encouraging us to be busy with our hands at home, and to put increasingly more of ourselves into crafting "hand-made" homes and families.

Anonymous said...

Lydia, this post really hit home for me. I was a stay-at-home wife for several years. I didn't have children because the Lord never blessed us with any, so I endured much ridicule and mocking for my decision to stay at home. I was called lazy and worthless by family and friends, even though my days were packed with household tasks that kept me busy from morning to evening. Some of the worst attacks came from devout Christians who said I was misinterpreting the Bible. I was even told by some people that I needed to see a psychiatrist because I did not desire a career outside of the home!!

Even my husband was swayed by those who mocked me, and he was eventually convinced that I must go to work. He makes quite a bit of money, so money was not the issue--he just became ashamed of me being a housewife because of what others were saying. So I work full time now, and I hate every minute of it. I am a slave to my bosses, and it is difficult to be a good wife and a good employee at the same time. My home life has suffered. I don't get as much quality time with my husband because my time spent at home is trying to catch up on all the cooking, baking, housework, and laundry that I have to squeeze in each day. Since I am no longer at home, I don't have the time to make good meals and most of it is convenience food and very unhealthy. The house isn't nearly as clean as it should be, and I feel that everything done at home is not done to the best of my abilities.

I am exposed to vulgar language and conversation at work from fellow employees, and it is difficult to remain feminine when I am surrounded by such unfeminine attitudes each and every day. Other women have no trouble making fun of me when I mention the fact that I enjoyed being a housewife, and sometimes I feel like I am the only woman left who has traditional values and who enjoys truly being a woman in every sense of the word. They can make fun of me all they want, but I see where their feminist ideas have gotten them--their families are torn apart and very dysfunctional.

I was so happy when I discovered your blog, Lady Lydia, as well as the Ladies Against Feminism website. This is my first time posting a comment on your blog, and I just wanted you to know that it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my way of thinking. I pray every day that our society goes back to traditional values, in order to preserve the family, and I pray that my husband will ignore the ridicule of others and allow me to be home again. We need people like you out there on the internet, to hopefully open the eyes of young women and men who have been brainwashed by our feminist society. Thank you so much!!

Anonymous said...

I would like to offer my support as well for what you are trying to accomplish, Mrs. Sherman. Your blog is always so pleasant to visit, & often full of just the encouragement I need! I'm eager to read this year's articles....as one reader pointed out, your posts just keep getting better & better!

with warmest wishes for a wonderful new year,
Brenda

Anonymous said...

Excellent post Lydia!!! One of my favorites!

I have noticed lately that more and more people have become envious of me being a stay at home wife.

5-6 days a week I am at my son's hockey games or practices where I am in contact with 15 other moms. All of whom work outside the home. I'm the only one who doesn't.

They have been commenting on how well I dress, how well I look. And really take notice of everything including my attitude. Im happy and friendly and ladylike and they notice.

People are superficial. Especially where I live. So..... I am wise to know that the better I take care of my appearance, the more "respect" they give me.

If I were dressed lazily or just not my very best, right down to my fingernail cuticles (which these women all notice) then, they'd definitely be more prone to criticize me or deflate me for being a full time homekeeper.

But, I'm happy to notice a change in attitude among the people I am around. They are opening their eyes to what a pretty little snug "job" I have. The fact that I can doll myself up and be at every hockey game and practice looking more like a "trophy wife" :) than them! AND, they know too that my home is neat as a pin whereas they cant keep up.

So I think they are starting to finally get the drift that my "job" staying home is way more impressive than theirs.

candy :)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post! It is hard to stand against the pressure from the world. My husband works in a very "worldly" career as a banker; he sees lots of successful rich people and wants to have the same things they have. With the down turn in the economy he is very concerned about his job (rightfully so), but I feel pressure even from him to not stay home and homeschool. My heart breaks thinking about putting my kids in school. People first, things distant second! But it is hard to stand firm...we women are supposed to cultivate a submissive and quiet spirit, not an aggressive, firm, rebellious spirit! Everyone seems to make me feel like I am being rebellious and stubborn and selfish for wanting to do what I feel God has specifically called me to do. I imagine during these times, "What if I were to die tomarrow? Would I feel bad to have dedicated my life to my family?" The answer is always, "No," and then I feel a little better (that's a wierd way to feel better, isn't it? imagining you are going to die!). I have always been very timid and I feel a lot of pressure to please (even complete strangers! i.e. societal trends which I am not fitting into!) It is just hard to stand firm. I always appreciate your encouragement and feel homemaking is, indeed, a valid life calling. Thank you for helping me to rest in God's calling for me no matter what anyone else says.

Anonymous said...

Great post and I wholeheartedly agree! ;)

I consider myself priveleged to have a husband who doesn't want his Queen to be out having to work like a man. He wants me to be his flower and do what I love - keeping my home pleasant, raising my children and providing the meals for my household. Notice in Proverbs 31 many times it talked of "her" household. It truly is our haven of employment!

I'm the only one in my family (besides my Mom) who stays at home. My Sisters wanted to have material things and I wanted obedience to God's word, family and harmony and peace. They are now bound by chains of debt but surrounded by the latest model cars and such, all swallowed down with a bitter cup of misery.

My Mother worked and it really had detriment on my life but now she has changed and promotes homemaking and is glad I'm doing so and raising my children at home. She is my biggest supporter!

Bev

Anonymous said...

This blog post is excellent and timely. I experienced some criticism just recently over the holidays.

But 2010 is a wonderful year to be a homemaker!! With two little ones at home I have formed three modest resolutions: buy a sewing machine, grow my own tomatoes this summer, and start researching home school curricula.

The best way to deflate the criticism is to "keep up the good work". Look up Nehemiah 6:9-16. Nehemiah was trying to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem and was met with all kinds of hindrances and intimidation. But he just prayed to God, "Strengthen my hands". We have to do the same. We have to go to God and God's Word for our strength, as well as to like-minded women for support (i.e. places like this blog). The wall does end up getting rebuilt!!

If you look behind the criticism you will often find guilt or insecurity. So try not to take it personally. Instead, pray for strength and get busy with your own hands. Now is the time to let our light shine, and not to be hiding it under a bushel.

Yes, they may first look only superficially at our appearance. So don't give them any amunition. If your nails are dirty and your hair is greasy and you wear sweatpants every day - this is not going to inspire anyone for anything. Be clean, (try to) be well-rested, and SMILE! Be pleasant. People will want to know where your happiness comes from. And you tell them you love the Lord, your husband, your children and your home, and that you've never felt happier (nor has your family) since you've come home and stayed home!

~Mrs. D.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Lady Lydia!

Brava, brava!

Your article made my day. :)

Anonymous said...

You are so right, Lydia, in everything you say here.

Anonymous said...

I was taught in church that "immorality leads to poverty." It is true. My husband always says, "When unmarried couples co-habit, it used to be called shacking up, because, if you've noticed, those people usually end up living in a shack."

DarcyLee said...

To anonymous at 1:09 p.m. (The commenter right after Candy)-I just want to encourage you about your situation. Even though your husband doesn't see the importance of what you are doing, he will some day, especially when your kids are older and in their teenage years. They will be so different than the ones that go to regular school with moms that work outside the home all day. They will stand way above the crowd in their first jobs or if they go on to college. We just graduated our last daughter after homeschooling for many years and I am so grateful for it, even though there were many times when I felt I wasn't doing my part by making real money because of what others said or implied with their words. Keep at it. It is a job worth doing the right way.

Anonymous said...

I see my daughters with this strange working woman idea, they spent some years being indoctrinated in public school. My sons feel differently, they were homeschooled. I had no idea they were learning anything by truth until it was everlastingly too late.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia, thank you so much for your blog. I've especially enjoyed seeing the lovely pictures of you and your home recently.

Some of the comments have mentioned the importance of good grooming and I agree. As a full time stay-at-home Christian homemaker I want to present a pleasant appearance and not the frumpy stereotype.

I would love to have your recommendations for: hair care such as shampoo, conditioner, styling methods and products; facial skin care such as cleanser, daytime and night moisturizers, sunscreen, treatments; makeup products (brands and colors); nail care; bath and body/fragrance; dental care; vitamin/mineral/herbal supplements, and daily diet.

I'd much rather read such advice from you than from a typical, worldly women's magazine with an advertising agenda.

MaggieRaye said...

Thank you! I will be linking to this on my blog and FB page -- and will be re-reading it again myself as the year goes on.

Anonymous said...

Lydia, do you have any advise on balancing everything for a mother who has a heart for homemaking, but has to homeschool for much of her day, and has to run a home business because she is a single mother?

Anonymous said...

Great post, thanks for sharing!! I haven't personally had many of those comments made, but that is probably because my circle of friends is small and most of them stay at home.


I would like to say to the poster at 10:38 above... I would encourage you to print out what you wrote there and give it to your husband. Or find some other way to graciously but with full honesty let him see how much this is hurting you. YOUR happiness and contentment should be much more important to both of you than that of people on the outside. (No doubt he was also much happier to have you home taking care of the house and of him, too!!)

L said...

Loved this post. Yes, more women can stay home and should to raise their families. Even single moms can be a keeper of the home and successfully homeschool and provide for their families financially. I have done it for years. Keep up the good work.
www.singlehomeschoolingmommas.com

Anonymous said...

I realize this was somewhat touched on in the modesty posts, but thank-you ladies who mentioned that part of being a homemaker is dressing nicely-
I think it's the "homemakers" who dress like slobs, that give the rest of us a bad rap.
I know I am certainly more on top of things, and have smoother days when I am dressed up.

Stephanie said...

Amen! I so enjoy being at home, and making it a home for my children. Thank you for writing this post.

Anonymous said...

I thank the Lord I get to stay home and watch our three children grow up. Everybody loves coming over and eating my home-cooked meals.

We rented an old farm house out in the country, for a very low renting price. We have a huge garden in summer, which my children and I have lots of fun in together. I try to make all my cleaning products myself, not only because it is cheaper but lots healthier. When my friends look at me wistfully, saying they wish they could afford being home, I feel like asking them: Are you willing to live in an old home like me? That is where the problem lies. Very few women are willing to sacrifice themselves to live in old homes that don't look too pretty, but are totally livable. Several times we have had people over to our house, and our old house and woodstove often rekindle people's memory of times gone by. I just enjoy listening to these folks reminisce. People have told me it was good to visit our home and be reminded that not everything has to be complicated; they enjoy the laid back, relaxing way of life in our home. I smile.

This old house is my castle, and I am the Queen here. Our children are thankful for the few toys they get, and they are happy and contented, knowing their mama is always there for them. I wouldn't have it any other way.
My advice is, if you really want to stay at home, then you will have to be willing to live with less than your friends do.

"Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain. 1 Tim 6:6"

Anonymous said...

awesome post, i could'nt agree more! unfortunately, i hear the same garbage, but what stikes me is that ALL of the people who comment about me, is that they would trade places with me in a heartbeat! i know of no one, who loves woking outside the home so much they would continue it, sure, there are people who do love their jobs, and get great fulfillment from them, but there is no way you can do both, (work, and raise a family) 100%. something will suffer, whther it be the attention each child should(and deserves to have),or the housework, (even though you can pay someone to do it), food shopping, preparing meals,attention to husband, and also, some precious "me" time..that counts too! a happy woman is a blessing to her family...there's plenty of time to work for wages, if you so choose, when the immediate concerns are grown, and fly the nest.

Anonymous said...

I think a homemaker's job becomes a bit easier as the children grow older and the detractors become more vocal then out of jealousy. No one seemed to envy me as much when my children were very small the way they do now.

I dress well but I don't try to dress for anyone but myself and my family. I think that keeps the focus on him that way. If I start to care too much what the world thinks of my appearance, I may start to care too much about what the world thinks of more important issues as well.

One thing I can use some advice on someday is how to stay motivated with housework. I find it discouraging to devote myself to cleaning one day only to wake up the next to face the exact same mess I cleaned the day before.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Your comment about aprons reminded how, during the holidays, when I was baking quite often, I wore a long white "Christy" type apron. The look on the various individual UPS/FedEx/etc. driver's face was priceless. I inadvertantly lifted quite a few spirits and brought smiles to faces just by wearing my apron. :)
I hosted our Pastor and his wife for dinner before Christmas. She commented that she loved my apron and that although she had several from her Grandmother, she never wore them. I asked why not and the Pastor chimed in with "Because I do most of the cooking". I was very tempted to retort "Than stop forcing your wife to work outside the home and she will be home in time to cook your supper."
ESM

Anonymous said...

Our Pastor said he wanted us to all grow in our faith in God and yet, almost without exception, no churchmember has more than two children "because they can't afford it" yet they can afford brand new SUV's, big houses, etc. I think having as many children as God chooses to bless you with and staying home to take care of them is one of the most effective faith growing methods in the world.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,

You are "reading my mail"! I never dreamed I would have someone in my life who openly tries to get me to be different than what I dreamed I would be in the home. It is quite an annoyance. This person uses every "tactic" you listed in your article, and as a final resort, will just turn around and say "Who cares?!" when I mention some little project I am working on, just trying to make pleasant conversation.

Out of respect, I must let her in my home, usually on the most precious of occasions and holidays, but the only way I survive it is by reading your articles like this. They restore my confidence, and make me feel "normal" again.

On holidays, I love to bring out my heirloom things - they are the only reminders I have left of most of my loved ones. You can imagine how it makes me feel for her to say that she wishes we could all just relax and not try to make everything so uncomfortable all the time.

To me, dressing up and taking out the special things is one of the most comforting and comfortable things I know. I feel uncomfortable being underdressed and leaving everything sloppy and ordinary.

You would think I was refering to a teenager, but the woman I speak of is on the verge of being elderly.

My friends and I have always believed that it is a woman's special priviledge to make things special. I have met so many older women lately that want to take this away from younger women. How can they get so angry because we still care?

I KNOW that I am NOT condescending and rude toward her, either, but I have heard that she says this about me. I have done nothing but be a warm, Christian person to her, and she does nothing but show how much she doesn't like it. You are right - she will not feel like I am being polite to her until I come her way and decide to act and look like her, which will be never.

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, and think that there is no older person to encourage me to do what is right with my family and children, but the truth is, I have had you for a few years now, and that has been enough. It has seen me through when I didn't have anyone else.

Anonymous said...

Lovely post!

~Alexandra

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mrs. Sherman, please know you have touched my heart by sharing your uplifting and well-worded thoughts. It's late and I'm tired, but I'll soon come back to re-read.

Mrs. T

Anonymous said...

It has been really important for me for you to encourage us to dress well. Years ago, I was looking like a wreck all the time. I sew my own clothes now, but for many years, though no one may believe this, I honestly couldn't do any better than sweatclothes and messy hair, even though I knew better, and it broke my heart to not be able to "help it".

The constraints on me were so crushing for so many years, and there was no one in the world to help during my childbearing years. I won't go into all the details. But I did want to encourage those who, because of illness or poverty, honestly CAN'T dress any better, at least keep staying home and doing the best you can, focusing on the goal of improving as you go along, even if it takes years.

It IS better to dress well, it IS! But if you can't - and honestly, with every once of my ability, I could do no better for many years, keep on doing the right thing, and find your consolation in Jesus.

Alexandra said...

Someone mentioned in the comments about recommendations for personal grooming products, and I thought I'd chime in by recommending that they Google "homemade" for whichever product they hope to replace.

I use plain olive oil as a body moisturizer - inexpensive and works wonders. Canola oil with a little vitamin E added is good as well. Check your dollar stores.

I cover my gray hair naturally with pure henna powder which I've purchased off the internet - a little goes a long way. I also cut my own hair.

You don't have to spend a lot to keep your skin and hair looking nice.

Anonymous said...

I remember my father, born in 1915, saying that women went out to work in the factories during WWII and never went back to the home. A lot of juvenile delinquency came from that -- no supervision from mom at home.

Anonymous said...

I have really enjoyed finding and reading your blog recently.

I wanted to comment about working. I work only one night a week, and it is better than the two or three I used to work, but with 6 children, ages 4 months to 12 years, I find that even that one day is so much of a distraction, a kind of stealing me out of the home. It is indeed much better to stay home completely if possible.

Thank you again for your encouragement!! It is truly appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I have been a stay at home wife who had children at home and now am still at home and my children have their own homes and children of their own now. Yes it has been tiring at times to contend with others who think they know your life better than you. All the while they are complaining about their problems with not having enough time after work to get things done etc. Hello! Don't they hear themself talk? They complain their children are spoiled and don't help around the house. They bought the stuff for their children. What their children need is time with their parents, not more stuff. Time they would have if mother stayed home and unwound from work life and could make their home warm and inviting. They would have time to share and learn about each other and learn discipline and work ethics. Step back and Really think about what is important. These children are our countries future. Prepare them to be our future. Their father needs to have time to raise his children too...his boys need his roll model. Being home allows you to help him cordinate his time and make it so his children have many times with their father. Be the role model they need for their future marriages. Is there someone else who could better show Your children how to be mature adults? You have the responsibility and the time is ticking. Children grow up very fast.Do you want to send them out into the world without the skills they need to survive? Who will teach them to cook,shop wisely, budget, clean, mend, wash, make out the bills, organize a get together, meal plan...the list is endless. This is not for just girls. Your boys need to learn things too. You are training up not just furture wives but future sons who need to know how to respect and cherish their future wives. How to make a living to support their stay at home wives. Many boys now-a-days automatically assume their wives will work outside of the home. Their mothers always have so that is the only way they know. Your daughters could date one of these men. Pay attention. Your daughters and your sons need your guidance and wisdom. They need to see you as a solid couple to stand between what the world has to offer and the way that is right. Be that example. If you think you as a homemakker hears constant discouraging words aimed at you...think about your children out in this scary world every day. They need you home to be the place they can come out of the storms of life and feel safe and loved. If you don't create this for them they Will find friends or someone else to. Someone you might wish never entered their lives. Don't tell me you cannot stay home. You can. Is there anything more inportant? We got all we needed and plus by working with the money my husband brought home. We watched our money and made a game of getting better and better at saving. Our friends that had a lot of money would compliment us on our home and always thought my children had the nicest clothes etc. It made us laugh. They couldn't believe how cheaply we could live. Now my husband is able to retiring early. He never had a large salary but we learned how to make the most of it. Love doesn't cost a thing. Keeping a sense of humor doesn't cost a thing. Taking care of the things God has already given you, and being generious to others doesn't cost a thing. Think of what is Really important in life. Is the picture on a 54" tv worth being away from home? If you have to have a tv a used one or a smaller one still brings you the same programs.You cannot afford to stay home. When did we stop helping each other to do the right thing and get so selfish? Families used to celebrate when another had good fortune. Men & women used to help each other and not be jellious & petty with each other. They supported each other.

Anonymous said...

Pray for Australia; as other Australian contributers have accurately mentioned, our govt. is sabotaging the traditional, sound, Godly family model through legislation and taxation so those who fall into this category are hardest hit on all sides. The Govt. Dept. For the Status of Women is ever seeking to increase its reach and draw more women out of the home and into the workplace; the more women in the workplace, the more taxation the Govt. Receives. They claim it is for the betterment of 'equal opportunity' but it is merely a flimsy disguise to get the most out of each working-age Australian (all seen as nothing more than economic units). In several states home education is either nigh on imposible or so heavily regulated children are forced to spend time per month with their local school population. it is only a matter of time before Australia adopts the intolerant policies of Germany and the Scandinavian nations. We are, similarly to the UK, for all intents and purposes, a socialist nation; who knows what our Prime Minister (who claims to be a Christian) and his ministers have in store for us.

Please pray that the rights of women to fulfil the God Given role, a beautiful gift, of homekeeper are once more respected and promoted. AS if it is not bad enough with the state against us, the Church has all but turned its collective back on God's calling for women and the family. Faith-based cultures here in Aus where this is the norm rather than the exception are labled cultic, dangerous, abusive, oppressive whether they be Christian or other faiths.

Please pray for Australia, NZ, the UK and Europe, that the evil that society now calls (mistakenly) good might be transformed!!

Anonymous said...

Lydia,

I have been following your blog for a long time now. I remember you from the early days of the Fascinating Womanhood forums and also the Beautiful Womanhood forums.After reading all the comments of the ladies on your blog, I also wanted to thank you for all you have done for us homemakers. I am one homemaker in a whole town where all the wives and mothers work outside the home. I dress in skirts and dresses all year round and that is no small feat living in New England. WHen we go to functions I find that in a whole huge roomful of people, I am one of two ladies in a dress. SOmetimes I am the only one. I get curious looks and some not so nice looks from other women. Your blog and your words of wisdom and kindness and encouragement have encouraged me to hold my head high, smile and look serene and calm. I smile some more at the ladies and say hello pleasantly and they, many times cannot meet my eyes. When they realise I am not
arrogant because I have a dress on, they do not seem to know how to act.
So thank you Lady Lydia, for many of us did not have mothers to guide us right and many of us are right now wives and mothers who still have indifferent and sometimes belligerant mothers who do not support us, yet you have managed to have many ladies all around the USA who can claim you as
an inspiration to their daily lives. YOu are a patriot and a true American ..may God bless you and keep you!

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

To previous comment: indeed, one good way to show respect for the patriots that helped form this country, is for women to dress like ladies, and not look like men!

In freezing temperatures, our foremothers wore woolen skirts and woolen pants under them, and did a better job than any of us can do today, in my opinion. They were hard workers, working physically harder than the so called working women today.

It is not a matter of trying to repicate the past, though. It is a matter of trying to reflect God's word, which allows women to be home, seeing to the spiritual development of her children, and guiding the house, keeping it in an excellent way. The Bible says it brings shame to the word of God if women are not keepers at home. Keeping the home also means a great deal of stress will be lifted from the women, as they mind their OWN business and are not subjected to the peer pressure of the workplace, which is sometimes just a heightened version of the public schools. We see that pressure in the men, and how they are run ragged not just by trying to get the job done, but by all the political correctness int he workplace that they have to remember.

Anonymous said...

Again a wonderful article. I am somebody who works full time having gone back to work once my children were in High School. I can honestly say that going back was the worst thing I ahve ever done - my house is a mess, I am behind with chores, am overweight with eating convenience food,have lost all of my confidence doing a job I hate.

I feel so trapped though - we have come to rely on my income and with both of my daughters now being grown up I would find it difficult to return to the home both financially and also because I feel I have 'lost' the ability to be home.

Anonymous said...

I am so encouraged by what I read here. I really love to be home for my family and even though things are not picture perfect here, and sadly many of my children are taking an agnostic stance as regards the Lord, I have hope because I can constantly pray to my heavenly Father about the problems, and I myself can be here to be part of the solution. So I just wanted to encourage other women who might be reading this and be despondent because their home situation is not an ideal one. We can still jump in today, and clean a little corner, or make someone a cup of something hot, be a listening ear, give a family member a soft touch and a loving smile and just meditate on a verse of Scripture as we go about our day at home. We are the keepers of the home and God will use our sincere efforts to bless our loved ones and the world at large by our loving obedience to His will. Perhaps this day, you do not own a dress or have long hair. Well, you can at least perhaps find a top that is a bright or feminine color to wear. Or wash and comb your hair or try to do something pretty with it. You might not be able to bake something today but perhaps you could make a piece of toast and spread jam or sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on it to serve with a cup of tea, for yourself or family. Sometimes, all we can do is just to smile at our family members and say a kind word. If we are home we can do this right now, and let's not forget to give the wonderful gift of forgiveness. That is truly doing the Lord's work.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,

As a woman who has recently come home to be a full-time homemaker (I "came home" in June 2009), I really appreciated as well as loved this article!

I enjoy taking care of my home and my husband (I don't have children because the Lord has not blessed me with them at this time). I am much happier, less stressed, and I like the fact that I have the time to devote to keeping my home clean, pleasant, and organized.

I don't miss the job I left behind. My husband is happy that I am home, and so am I!

Mrs. F.

Amy B. said...

Thank you so much for a very encouraging and empowering post. I recently finished a Ladies Bible Study called "Five Aspects of Woman" and the first one was "Mistress of Your Domain". How I have grappled with that as I continue to purge my feminist thoughts and replace them with Truth! How I wish you could come speak on this in my home congregation (very feminist leaning). God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I left a comment a couple days ago, but I see many more voices have chimed in on this subject, & I've enjoyed reading those comments.

Mrs. Sherman, would you please elaborate on something that one visitor mentioned? Anon. 12:54 pm shared with us that a certain person (who is, apparently, frequently in her home) seems to despise the activities that Anon. wants to share, shows contempt for her love & pride in her heirloom possessions, & so on. Anon. mentioned that this woman is older than she, & I started thinking about how I've seen similar attitudes in some women, who are maybe 50-something or 60-something. It seems there is a new "crop" of women who are eager to learn the ways of the home, & have a very strong desire to bring up their own children. I'm wondering, in your opinion do the elder women who show such behavior feel threatened observing this, or do they feel betrayed ("doesn't she know that by staying at home she's throwing away opportunities that so many women have marched for?!?"), or are they merely envious? For the large part, from where do you think this sentiment arises?

I can't honestly say that I've been treated badly by women because of my life choices (or is it possible they did try to cut me down, & I was too dense to notice or something!). But I feel so bad when I read comments like Anonymous's.

many thanks,
Brenda

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

To the lady who wrote about how to develop your homemaking in small ways--bravo. The homestead women of the past were content to do that and they rejoiced in it! Bringing in a small flower and floating it in a bowl of water for a centerpiece at the table, or making a cup of hot chocolate, observing nature outside the window--why even the fog could be a source of delight when car lights shone through it. Women were so resourceful, that they did not need great things to make them happy: just the love of their husbands, a private shelter for their little ones, church on Sunday, and songs of praise throughout the week. They were not perfect housekeepers but they were decent people who believed in clean clothes and good manners and good meals. They didnt have a lot of junk to look after,, which perhaps made housekeeping easier, but they didnt become slaves to the house, although the house was their most important posessiion. They knew how to enjoy the seasons and could roll with the ups and downs of life. I knew housewives who had only one or two sets of clothes and didnt mind a bit, and their children had two sets of clothes and were happy. Small things make a big difference in the lives of children.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

To Brenda,

The most resistance you will get from the Titus 2 teachings in church groups seem to be from the elderly women over 50. They are from the old guard of feminists. They are indoctrinated with it. THey may even have stayed home, but decided to send their daughters to college to get careers. Life may have been difficult for them at home, but I still think it is an unBiblical attitude. The most trouble I ever had in a women's Bible class was gthe older women trying to un-teach the Bible. The ones in the age group you mentioned were the ones to wear pants and shave their hair til it looked like a man's. THey are still pushing that style and wearing men's clothes. They resist the teachings about women being homemakers. Though many of them were full time homemakers and did not go to college or have a career outside the home, they resist the idea of marrying, having children and being home full time. If you have ever wondered why there has been trouble in churches over the years, you probably had feminism in the church. I can remember when a woman was staying home and some of the church leaders had a conference with her because they said she should be out working, no doubt, to help the church by making a bigger contribution. They also objected to her homeschooling her 2 children. The churchis following the world.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The elderly women think the younger women are at a disadvantage at home. They think working outside the home empowers a woman and gives her security. These days, though, it cannot. Businesses go bankrupt and cannot hire you for a lifetime. Women work in those places for years and sometimes come away with nothing in the way of benefits, if the business went bust. The main thing is that the Bible says women should be home. I dont believe you can get around that. The feminists of the 60's who are now older women, are still hanging on to the belief that society works better of women work and farm out their kids or get housekeepers to do their housework. I saw a woman the other day who was working, and in tears because her housekeeper didnt show up and her house was a wreck. Her husband had a job, so why not take care of her own hosue and not have to pay someone else? Be a do-it-yourselfer. That is the best policy.

Anonymous said...

Ladies,
I am 54 years old and I dress very femininely and love being a stay at home Mom and wife even though my son is grown. I did teach school until my son was born, but I think it's great to stay at home even if you are childless. I am only saying this information as I want younger ladies to not think that all women my age are feminists. I have long hair, wear pearls (they don't have to be real) wear light makeup and mostly skirts and dresses. I think some ladies may think I'm silly--but most just say I look nice. Once one lady kept asking me why I was always dressed up and I finally cheerfully told her that this is what I liked to do and it's just fine as everyone is different. "If I like to dress up and you don't, then that's just fine, don't you agree?" I said this with a cheerful voice and without malice. Oddly enough, she never mentioned it again. Is that called turning the table, politely? Anyway, at almost 54 I just can't worry about what everyone else is doing. I just do what I think is right for me--and I know secretly my husband is glad I try to look feminine. So my point is, be encouraged younger ladies. We older ladies are not all fem-nazis!
Love,
Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia...I appreciate you and your blog so very much! I am always so blessed everytime I come here. And you are a beautiful lady. God's richest blessings to you. a

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,
What a wonderful article! I have been home for four years and love it. Since I've come home I have worked very diligently on organizing, cleaning, and decorating my home, which was a mess when I was working. I am greatly encouraged by your article to keep working on making our home a lovely refuge and wonderful place to be for my family. I know many women who work outside the home and the combined income they make with their husbands is much greater than my husband's, who is a school teacher. Yet these women's homes are a mess and uncomfortable to be in. They are so stressed I feel sorry for them. We now have a lovely home, and when these women come over they do not want to leave and always comment how they wish their homes could be like ours. We are not rich, Lady Lydia, but as a homemaker I do my best to make the most of my husband's income. I have found my creativity and make little things for the house for pennies, adding special touches here and there. I feel so blessed that I can do these things. I love to show these ladies hospitality, and my husband and I make an effort to make visitors feel welcomed and comfortable in our home. They see how different our home is, yet they can't seem to get off the treadmill and go back home where they belong. Our home is this way BECAUSE I'm home! Our quality of life has improved so greatly that I cannot imagine ever going back to work outside the home. Thank you again for reminding us how great our calling is, and how rewarding.

Anonymous said...

To Brenda:
Many of the children of these women who "came of age" in the late 60's (and who are now in their 50's and early 60's) have seen how bankrupt their mothers' godless philosophies were. The generation of the Late Sixties thought they knew better than God, but their lives of divorce (covenant-breaking and irresponsibility), substance abuse (sorcery ("pharmekeia" - Gal. 5:20), sexual immorality ("free love" aka FORNICATION), materialism ("the good life" aka Mammon IDOL-worship), immoral money practices ("credit" aka DEBT; and "inflation of the money supply" aka THEFT), envy, bitterness, and abandonment of the Old Paths have been horrible for their children to witness and live through. So many people in their late 20's and 30's, the children of these persons are rejecting their God-hating way and turning back to the Bible. They don't want to waste their lives or leave their children to fend for themselves the way these bitter old feminists have done.

Emmarinda said...

Speaking of the immoral money practices, Lydia, could you please tell me, because I think you have researched this, who owns the Fed?

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The Federal Reserve is named such, to make the US population think it is "federal." It is neither federal, nor reserve. It is owned by a private group. Time mag. and US NEws has featured one of them on the cover of their publication this month. He can be seen arrogantly telling Congressional members that it is none of the nations business, none of Congress business, no private indidual business what he did with the big bail out from the US treasury. I was trashed severly on line for saying that we did not need to bail out the bankers.they didnt need the money, and they would not help anyone with it. To this day, not one person has received any money to rescue their homes when the interst got too high for them to make payments, or when their jobs were eliminated. Today entire streets in neighborhoods have empty houses, not because people bit off more than they could chew, but because of the variable rate of interest which drove their payments higher and higher til they got behind. You can watch a video called "The Death of A Republic" on You Tube to see an explanation of who owns the fed. The fed collects the income tax from people, and they make them account for every cent they earned, every cent they spent, all the gifts they received, and all their expenses, how much they paid their employees, how much they spent on their furniture, etc. And if you avoid it they will audit you and fine you and even jail you. Yet that same "fed" has no account sheets to show the public. Even in churches,they sometimes post their expense sheets on the bulletin board for their members to see how much is going out and how much is coming in, how much they sent to missionaries, how much they gave to benevolence, and so forth. But the fed does not give an accounting of how much they took in from the America public and what they did with the money. What do YOU think they do with all that money? And do they do it with the permission of the people? I hope to get the political section updated this year so you can go to various sites and get informed about these illegal bankers and their ruining of this country. SOme banks are offering to let people rent their homes from them, rather than leave the houses empty. We will be a tenant nation, run by the bankers, forever working but unable to acquire anything.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

You can also get some information about this and other political from the Steven Crowder videos on You Tube. It is good to see that the very young are informed and not all of them are washed up in the sea of liberalism, touting the political correctness of the times.

Anonymous said...

The ladies who are now 60 should have been in the generation who Had mothers at home. I am 60. That would have been the norm then...or so I thought. At least it was in our town and our life. I never saw anything to rebel agains. My friends looked forward to just such a life. I don't use the word ladies lightly as they were ladies. I am so sorry women my age are so cruel to anyone. They have taken the Titus 2 thoughts and twisted them around to hinder their children! This is heartbreaking that they would be so closed minded to the Truth. I will now keep my ears more open for the attitude of women my age and hope to counter it. May the Lord bring young women into my path so I can be a good council to them. I know staying home is the right way. I believe in is whole heartedly. The 60s did bring in the Feminists but I would have thought these women would look back to the examples of their own good mothers. I can see things more clearly now that you have written about this connectiion Lady Lydia how it is our generation that in yet another way started the world down another slippery slope. I was before just going from my own experience in a small town and not thinking of history and those times. May the Lord forgive this nation for its stupidity. How could we purposely go out to break up our own homes? These women don't even stop to listen to what they are really saying.

Anonymous said...

Good for you Lady Lydia! I love reading your blog and look forward to it a great deal. I am a keeper at home and you are very correct when you state that there are so many things that one can do at home that one cannot be bored or have nothing to do. Please keep up the articles as they are not only informational but enlightening.

Anonymous said...

So the Feminists say everyone is equal and changed laws that before may have helped women. With all their 'knowledge' they were quite stupid in so many ways. They want what they want Now and don't think ahead at all. They then degrade men and even say they are no different them women. Well why would a man want to go out and work hard for the future security of a women who does not even seem to like men? They got what they wanted. Now they Both can work many hard hours. So the wives can go home and complain that no one helps her around the house and She has to do it all there too. The men now have less of a chance for advancement since the company's have to make sure they have their quota of female workersis what the governmetn says is right. Also with so many women working there are only so many jobs to be had. Of course these women blame the men again. They can never be right at anything. It is a vicious circle. Are they happy with what they caused? Of course not...it will never be enough for them. I feel sorry for our men who have to work under such stress. working was always stressful no matter what the job. Having so many politically correct things to worry over has to be horrible. Give your men the honor they deserve. If you are home and he is out tell him how much you love him and show it. Tell him you appreciate his hard work. My husband has been an example for other men the differebce there is in a home where the women is at home. They see his work luches compared to theirs, hear how we do things together etc etc. Men notice. The women who mentioned much earlier how she keeps her appearance up very well and her working friends notice was good. That they see she seems to have a better life than they! We as Christians need to follow that not just in dress but way of life totally. Christ tells us to be the example for the world. This is just one part of it that will make others stand up and take notice.

Anonymous said...

Lydia,
Thanks for sharing about the Fed. Not a very popular notion, but it definitely needs to be shared. Was that YouTube video titled, "Fall of the Republic"?

Keep fighting the good fight.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

It could have been Fall of A Republic. IT was the Alex Jones one.There were 6 or 10 episodes so you probably would not be able to watch it all at once. But it will astonish you the arrogance of the head of the fed telling a congressman it was none of his business what they did with the money (bailout) they looted from the US Treasury. They had their eye on that for a long time. Then they wanted another bail out. We've lost track of how much money the US govt has given them.IT is treachery in high places. Read my article called "How to Stop Worrying about Politics and Start Living an Abundant Life" if you want to know just what the bankers are doing to this country.

Anonymous said...

Here is a link to the full-length version so folks can watch it all at once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VebOTc-7shU

This is "Fall of the Republic" by Alex Jones.

The Psalms are full of strengthening words on what will happen to the oppressed and downtrodden(the common American) vs. the fate of the oppressor(those who own the Fed).

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

1:34 pm --the liberals are NEVER happy. They gripe about things and then force change, then they hate the results of the change, then they gripe again. If I caved in to all the people that gripe about me, they still not be satisfied or happy. Just like Karl Marx, they exist to argue and gripe and criticise--he is their father . They exist for circular arguing and that is how they get their blood pumping. Just argue everyone til they give up and give in, and then gripe some more because they ran off the people that make the world go around. Look at all the communists in the world, how they destroy any wealth or any land or any free enterprise and then gripe because everyone tries to flee the country. They know only how to shoot themselves in the foot.

Rachel said...

Mrs. Sherman, I so agree.

I think that the reason the ladies "of a certain age" are so stuck in the "feminism means being as much like a man as you can be" mindset, that they see anything, anyone, doing, saying, thinking, believing anything to the contrary, as ignorant...silly...stupid...

It is also a kind of a slap in the face to them, that we don't think their choices were right. I'm sure some of you ladies have seen this as well, when you mention homeschooling around public schooling parents? Or even when you tell your own parents that that is what you are doing/going to do? I know I faced some of that when we told folks we planned on homeschooling our children...

And when you get to birth control issues..mercy, people are HORRID! I've had more people than I can count, offer to pay for a tubal, or a vasectomy...my sister regularly calls me to tell me that she loves my children, but (then she giggles) she's "picking up her abc" now....because having children might ruin her figure. Her DH flips out when she discusses even trying for a child..

How sad. My parents had three children (pill usage). My husband was the 11th of 13 (no abc used whatsoever). We have been blessed with 6 pregnancies, but five living children (one of the successful pregnancies, gave us twins!). On my side, there are 6 grandchildren--5 of them are 'mine'. On my husband's side, there are 16 grandchildren--again, 5 of them are 'mine'. It is very sad, that so many people are cutting off their families before they would have been deemed "finished" by the Will of God.

When you live in nearly exact opposition to someone else, they take your choices to be a slam on them--especially, when they are a generation older. Of course, we *are* saying "we don't want to be like you". But we don't go around screaming it to the world. We live our lives, we make our choices, they just take it personally.

Of course, in a way, I wish they would. But if all they do is take offense, and don't even attempt to see why we have made the choices and decisions we have...well, there's nothing one can say or do to change their minds. Pray for them. And then pray some more.

*HE* will take care of the rest.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!

This is a bit off topic for this post...but not all the way off. DH had a small surgery today at the local hospital here in WV. I was really not too surprised to see ONE lady in a dress (she was a new nurse and I could see she was feeling a bit awkward; how sad) in the 5 hours I spent there!!! She was truly the prettiest of ALL the women I saw there. Next was a lady that had a feminine looking pant outfit on. The others truly looked liked men OR slobs!! Very depressing site!! :(

Anonymous said...

Hi again! I was the one to post about the one lady with the dress on at the hospital. Another thing I noticed: 'Ladies' do not even BRUSH THEIR HAIR!!!!:( grrrr

Anonymous said...

Please ladies when you do see women dressing feminine let these women know you think they look lovely. I stop and say something everytime I can to encourage our sisters. Mention how feminine they look too so they know just what you mean too. You know how many negative comments and looks we all get at times. Wouldn't it just brighten your day to have another lady encourage you on your walk? I see some of the elderly lady's out and about. They have taken the time to dress so nicely. When you compliment them on their hair{color, style or whatever] or dress they just beam!We all need all the encouragement we can get in this upside down world. Just like you compliment a child on their polite behavior and it encourages more good behavior so does complimenting clothing choices.

Anonymous said...

I have to share a story with you, my mother inlaw was in the Canadian Army when she was young during WW2.
She was a petite little thing with flashing blue eyes and a winning smile.
During her soldiering days her uniform was a just below the knee skirt, a well tailored form fitting jacket, nylon hose,low healed shoes and a cap.
Her uniform was feminine and pretty despite the Army drab color.

Compare that with the camouflage fatigues, boots, helmet, bullet proof vests and machine gun the women were now.

Back then the millitary expected the women to fill non-combat jobs for men while the men were out fighting. Granted there were female nurses and pilots, but they were supposed to be non-combat.

Today she is 85 yrs. and still has the flashing blue eyes and winning smile. She wears the brightest colored flowing dresses and a hat to match each one.

Women often stop her to admire her hat and the way she dresses, men stop and comment positively about her hat. Sometimes flirting with her. Everyone wants to strike up a conversation with her.
She is the cutest thing you ever saw and completely unaware of how feminine she is.

Anonymous said...

The poster at 3:24 made some very nice remarks. I just want to say it really helped my outlook to think I can do some small things and make a difference at homen. The little things really add up by the end of the day!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed the comment at 3:24, too--very encouraging!!

I am one who IS at home, but struggle with keeping organized between the children, homeschooling, and everything else. I'm really trying to get a grip, lol!

Anonymous said...

Thank-you so much for your uplifting blog.I am so tired of the world`s view on wives at home.I do without many material things my friends think are important to be home caring for my home and family.I would`nt trade places with them for anything.I am very happy in my God given roll.

Anonymous said...

My mother was in the Women's Army Corp in the early 60's, before she was married. She looked so pretty in her dress uniform -perfectly pressed skirt, pumps, women's tie (like a small neckercheif)and white gloves, with her hair always beautifully arranged.

Anonymous said...

Rachel, it is the American Way to think your parents' generation didn't do it right. Your children will think that way, too. What goes around comes around. In our country, the younger women teach the older women, whether they are Christians or not. In the end, everybody is a product of their own generation whether they think they are or not. I think we Americans are pretty-much unteachable by the older generation. And, we all make our own mistakes, too, no matter what, and the younger generations throw it up to the older ones. Surely there is SOMETHING you can glean from your parents generation? Most of them didn't know anything about homeschool -- it was pretty-much experimental back then. It seems strange to them. They can't help it. You have to be patient with older people. You have to be a good example, also patiently, to your siblings, without preaching to them, which just turns them off.

Anonymous said...

I had a very eye opening experience last month. My husband and I went to Southeast Asia for a month in December. When we had to state our name and occupation on our customs slip I put "stay at home wife" Upon entrance to the country in southeast Asia the customs person said "Oh! We don't get many of you traveling here!"

Later, we had a long conversation with a women who was working that explained to us how culturally they did not do such a thing. I explained to her that we didn't either and she seemed suprised!

After we left the developed country and went to an undeveloped one we saw more and more stay at home women, or, women who worked downstairs and lived upstairs in shop houses. When this happens the families source of income is all done in the home. The men usually run the shop while the women and children help out without it. This allows the family to be together througout the day, and for the children to be able to observe the roles of both parents 24/7.

As an example, my husband and I had a traditional sari made for me to take home as a souvenir and the wife and older daughters sold me the fabric and took my measurements, and the father took our payment and tailored the blouse with his young son on his lap, learning the family trade (clothesmaking). This was an interesting and inspiring middle class family model! This sort of family business was the norm, not the exception. "helpmeet" seemed to be every wife's job description, from the pastor's wife to the tailor's wife. Working inside the home involved working in the in the home :), as well as domestic chores (which could be done while at "work", since she just had to pop upstairs to hang the laundry or check on a child)

Additionally, the kids were put to work. While I don't believe in factory labor for children, or anything like that, at the expense of a good education, I know that hard work or learning a trade early is important! Many of the people I met had learned their trades as small children, and had subsequently had a master of the skills not rarely found here! One dressmaker we went to was the granddaughter of many works found in a specific book we had purchased on traditional historical fashion in the country we were in! When we mentioned it, she pulled out all these 100+ year old garments that were featured in the book! Her handwork was just as fine as her grandmothers.

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed reading all of the responses to your wonderful post. It was so inspiring! I would like to know if your readers struggle with something that I struggle with-I haven't heard anyone with this particular situation. I have very educated and well-off siblings. They have the best and the most beautiful of everything. I however didn't go to college and neither did my husband. They don't have a lot because their wives work or they have incredible debt, they just make a lot of money. My husband and I would have to work long hours just to have a fraction of what they have. Can you see where I'm coming from? It isn't really a case of jealousy, but it just makes me feel really bad at times when I see their beautiful things and realize how we struggle just to make ends meet. At times it makes you wonder if you SHOULD get a job. I just want to know if anyone else has a family situation similiar to this??

Leigh said...

A beautiful and inspiring article as always! :) While I am a young, atheist, homeschooling wife and mother, I thoroughly enjoy your blog and your articles. My husband (a non-practicing Italian Catholic) and I believe in what are now considered "old fashioned values". It's sad that so many women today feel they cannot stay home and that to do is is to be lazy.

I look forward to reading your inspiring words as we begin 2010. I would love to read articles on frugal home living, sewing and other needle work (knitting, embroidery, etc) as well as simple gardening tips.

The Chatty Housewife said...

Wonderful post! Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a long post on such an important topic.

Would it be possible for you to change your settings to allow full feeds? I was missing a lot of your posts (months and months) because I thought they were empty, or just an image or two. Your feed in my reader only shows up as a tiny part of what is actually there. It doesn't say to click over to read the post in full, or even have little dots (...) so I actually thought you had stopped publishing articles until recently!

Anonymous said...

I have been searching the net for old-fashioned ways of housekeeping and just plain living, and am so thrilled to find your blog! I too look forward to your articles.....thank you so much for taking a stand. Together we can all take back our homes and our right to be homemakers!

Anonymous said...

To the reader at 6:54 way at the end of the comments. Your sisters may have a nicer home but as you said they are in debt. The stress that brings in a marriage and family is not good. Yes it is a hard life at times stretching every dollar and doing without some of the things your sisters may have doubles of. I have talked to women like this and they have told me in private that they envy me! They would so love to be able to be home with their families. Would love to trade their trinkets for time to bake cookies with their little ones or do things with their husband. Now when they come home they are both tired and sometimes cranky. As the old saying goes we think life is always greener on the other side of the fence. Don't forget even rich people like the Kennedys always know someone even richer. Everyone has someone who could make them envious if they let it. Hang in there and truly enjoy your life as it is. You will never regret it. I have been a stay at home wife for over 40 years and it only gets better believe me.

Anonymous said...

This year my resolution is to delight in the blessings of my Savior, even if they don't seem so fun at the moment.

Where are you my lady? Are you alright? I'm having withdrawl.I for one would love to see an article on anything you choose to write. I read and enjoy them all. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. BTW-you are one of the blessing in which I take delight.

8 months-no pants-feeling feminine 24/7 Hair long enough to wear a Gibson Girl bun. Thanks again.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Ladies I am planning to post soon, and add a paper craft and a sewing tutorial. We've had quite a bit of company and I've been absorbed in that!! To the last two comments: my own observations on this will be in a post in a minute. I tried to comment but it was too long and the blogger wouldnt accept it so I'll put it up in a minute.

Anonymous said...

I love this post. I also like how you are always supportive of homemakers doing things their way. You never try to impose some sort of ideal of perfection. I read an excellent blog somewhere, I forget where, but the main point was that, if you have children and are feeling overwhelmed by your own expectations, focus on two things, keeping your children in clean clothes and well-fed. And the rest will fall into place!

~ Ann

Anonymous said...

Lydia, I recently moved and missed some of your writings. You have so much good things to say, please do not stop. I was with you back when LAF started and have found you again. Don't stop teaching the younger women.

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