Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Blessings of Women at Home



It is still snowing in many parts of the country. It always reminds me of the days when women  were home, providing a real home life for their families.
In those times you had to be confined together indoors a lot, and the parents of that generation knew how to thrive.  Although we had cars and trucks, it was important to stock up on supplies, because the road would become inaccessible.  A snow plow would come through once in awhile, but you could not be certain when, and then your truck might not start.  Parents would fill their pantries full of supplies so that they could make just about anything to eat. 
Mothers thought it was important to keep children busy in useful things that would develop their imagination and skill.  They invented creative projects  made from the  cartons and the boxes and paper bags that the groceries came in. Sometimes we had extra things such as paints and glitter.  If we had none of those things,  parents of that generation knew how to make substitutes.  There was always a way to make paint and make things sparkle or glisten.  Lacking coloured paper for a project, we took our crayons and made it.  It was interesting to see the variety of things we could make without fancy supplies.

We did go outside in the snow and had a wonderful time.Coming indoors was quite a treat, and many a child can remember their mothers preparing hot chocolate from basic ingredients, and melted cheese sandwiches from home made bread.  Mothers staying at home made quite a difference, for they were in no hurry and didnt mind making things from basic ingredients.

When I have time, I will make a replica of the set of dollhouse furniture that was popular in those days, from empty grocery items, which were painted and glued in a way to make couches and tables and chairs.  Women of that time knew how to make a stage with a curtain, so that children could put on a play with paper bag puppits or puppits made with cardboard attatched to popsicle sticks. 

Winter brought on illness sometimes, and it was then that our mothers shone.  They knew how to make a bed tray with foods and drinks that were not difficult to digest, and provide a pile of things to cut and paste or read, while in bed.  The tray had to be pretty and the food presented in a lovely way on the best dishes. Favorite books and magazines saved from months gone by, were put in a stack beside the bed.  Usually there was a child's page in the womens magazines, and Betsy McCall paper doll had such pretty outfits and pets.  The boys liked the outdoor life magazines and books their father's read. 

 These pleasant, restful activities were essential in recovery from illness.   Some mothers knew how to bathe the child and change the sheets with the little patient still in the bed. When the children were sick, it also gave mothers a chance to sweep the floor and get the kitchen cleaned up.  Children of that time can remember calling their mothers from their sick beds and having them drop whatever they were doing and go to their sides immediately.

Meal times were a highlight of snowed-in winters.  In northern climates it often would stay dark the entire day, so these meals provided dividing lines to distinguish one part of the day from the other. It could get discouraging if the darkness at 8 o'clock in the morning was the same as 5 o'clock in the afternoon, so those meal times kept us cheerful and in touch with what time it was. 

Parents believed that children who were fussy either needed a nap, or more work to do. They would say that if you had time to complain or fight, you had time to work. If children were bored, they also worked. There was always plenty to do and mothers did not feel that they had to do it all. Children helped with laundry and cooking and learned to do these things as soon as they were six years old.  If mothers got sick, a child between the ages of 6 and 12 could manage the home and look after younger children just fine. That could not have been possible if it were not for these mothers at home who took the time to patiently show the children how to clear a table, wipe a surface, sweep a floor, wash and rinse dishes, wash clothes,  cook and keep younger children safe.

This leads me to the more important subjects of women at home. Eventually, even mothers will be home without children, as they grow up and get families of their own. The presence of the woman  is still necessary to give the home a feeling of love and warmth.  As she gets older, she has to think of her health. Staying home, even with no children, brings out the feminine qualities in a woman: softness, sweetness, goodness, lack of hurry or worry.

I do not believe that children can have the proper physical, emotional, social and spiritual nourishment if they are not at home with mothers who are willing to spend the time with them. It is tragic that women today think that making money is more important, and they are depriving their children of these wonderful memories. I do not even think that debt is a good enough reason to abandon your home life and go to work. Your children will know that money is the foremost thing on your mind, and what is that teaching them? 

 What kind of childhood will they talk about to their children?  One of being rushed from one institution to another, or a happy, carefree child hood free from worry and heavy responsibility?  I truly do not believe that God intended for society to raise our children. He appointed parents to do this.  I know a single mother with two children who is at home with her children and giving them the emotional and physical stability they need for their lives.   Debt can be managed, by making arrangements for affordable payments within your ability.  Daycare of any kind is not good for children, as they bring home the manners and habits of those who look after them. It is better for children to relate to their parents than their day care workers. In the end, it will pay dividends. I have often thought that when you send your children to others to be cared for during the most impressionable times of their lives, they will one day turn their backs on you and institutionalize you, because they will not have time for you.

Staying home at first will take some adjustment. You have to be a self starter and an independent worker. You have to learn to live without being regulated  by a boss. You have to develop self control and personal determination. One purpose of having children is to teach parents. Parents learn to how to be parents by training and teaching their own children.  They learn the things that the mothers of old knew, by being cooped up with them on winters days, and having to be resourceful. There is an old saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention."  This means that when you are looking for something to do that will enrich your childs life at home, you might invent something to do that is completely your own idea.  You will be amazed at what is available within the home, to teach and train children's character.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is an excellent article and really reminded me of the good ol days when I used to make paperdolls and had wholesome fun magazines to look at when sick and Mom making a special tray.. Just like all the things you mentioned. And coming inside to have hot chocolate and fresh homemade bread hot out of the oven! Those were the days indeed!

We dont see this much anymore. How truly sad. I am so glad though that theres still some ladies that stay home and provide this though.

Im so thankful that I can create this type of home for my son. I love to bake bread and make hot chocolate.

After homeschool today we played some board games and made a shoe shine kit so that my son can shine the family shoes as one of his weekly chores.
Even though its cold outside here where I live, its sunny and cozy inside :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Lydia this is so true. How society has changed in just a very short time. How could this happen! If only the majority could recognise the vital importance of homelife as you explained so well in your article. Thank you for writing.

Anonymous said...

Women without children are needed at home more than in the workplace! If these women work outside the home, they dont really have time to putter and put their houses to order in a serene and happy way. House work will become a drudgery that has to be done in a hurry before the week begins again. They need a lot of time to develop ideas for living from day to day. I noticed that when women went to work, the hospitality became almost non existent. There were no women to provide a loving atmosphere for other women. Many young women at home became more isolated. Working outside the home steals the heart of a woman, in a sense, and steals the heart of the home, which is the woman.

Emmarinda said...

You know, I often wonder what working mothers do when their children are sick. Do they have to take the day off from work? That cannot be very satisfactory to the boss, who after all is trying to run a business. And it would be really nerve-wracking to have to keep asking for time off, I would imagine. Another reason not to have more than one or two children, sadly. Maybe they go to the babysitter anyway. Or, I believe there might even be a special daycare where you can drop off your sick child. That, I should think, would be dreadful for the child. I guess some mothers are fortunate enough to have their folks take over, but somehow that doesn't seem quite fair to Grandma and Grandpa. In our house, Grandpa lives with us, and though he is healthy and mobile, I take care of him instead of him being a caretaker. I feel really sorry for the mothers and children who are in this sorry position of not being able to be home, especially when someone does not feel well. Regarding food for the sick, my mother used to make what she called "milk toast", which was buttered toast, cut up with warm milk poured over it, and sugar on top. I have an old cookbook which has a chapter on recipes for the sick and invalids. I have to dig that out - I remember one of the things in there was barley water. Again, thanks for sharing such good words with us.

Eric and Hannah Avery said...

I am just 24 years old ( and married), but I am blessed to have a mother that stayed home and raised and homeschooled my sister and I. She definitely took care of us when we were sick, making us special things, and doting over us.This is a great article!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree!! I am Stay at home wife and mother. My daughter has graduated homeschooling. I began to wonder...now what?? Of course everyone assumed NOW she will get a job! Wrong... I read Titus 2 again and again. It hit me the Lord said for us to be "keepers of the home" right! Well children were not mentioned in that. He didn't say "if you have kids be a keeper at home", He simply said be a keeper at home! I felt peace flood my spirit. I am still needed if not more so. The fun thing now is can and have more time to do "special little things" for my hubby I didn't have time to do when I had a small child to take care of. My dh and I have entered a totally new phase of life. I love it!!
Thank you Lydia

L said...

If we single mommas can stay home and raise our children,why can't more married mommas do the same. Our society would be better off with moms in the home. While not everyone agrees with this and not everyone can do it, I think so many more could, who are not staying home.

If there's a will and a Great Big GOD, there's a way.
Just a thought.

www.singlehomeschoolingmommas.com

Anonymous said...

This is a wonderful article. I'm encouraged to make the most of these cold days by finding cozy happy things to do with the little ones. And hot chocolate will definitely be on the agenda! I'm so glad to be at home with my children. Before having babies, I was a full time registered nurse, and I remember wondering with dread, how I would manage once we started having babies. At the time, we thought it would be impossible for me to be home full time. We tossed around endless ideas of how we could arrange a part time schedule, but I always new deep down it would be a horrible heavy burden. With much prayer and sacrifice, we've managed. Much of our determination came with reading your blog. Thank you so much! To Emmarinda, I remember Mothers having to constantly stay home with sick children, and they always felt guilty and shamed. We were in the union, so we were paid when home sick, so that was good, but imagine how stressful it would be for those going without pay. I'm sure many children get hauled off to daycare when they would do better to stay home to get nursed back to health.

Anonymous said...

Another inspiring, lovely post...thank you...The world does little to affirm what I spent 28 years of my life working to perfect. Somehow you have the knack of putting my little services into a light that makes them shine with the grace of God. I remember the days when I made empty coffee cans into shape sorting toys, made play dough, taught my girls to sew, and baked cookies for all the neighborhood latch key kids that spent afternoons at my house. I never charged their parents but hoped that someday they would remember the spirit they felt in our home and would want to emulate it to some extent. Thanks again for painting my world so beautifully.

Anonymous said...

God always has an ulterior motive. By obeying his will to be home, we develop wisdom, knowledge and understanding of many things. Part of the reason for mothers to be home with their children, is for the development and growth of both the parents and the children. When child care is outsourced, neither learns the life skills that God intended them to learn from each other.

Anonymous said...

Oh the memories of my childhood and my children's this article brooght up! :) I remember making cut out dolls aand designing clothes for them and playing with my sisters for hours. Making hats for out littlier dolls out of the paper tops of the milk bottle and pasting flowers we would make or ribbons onto them. Saving half and quart paper milk cartons till we had enough. My sister cut a square hold out of the sides of them and so made like Linclon logs out of them building homes. Putting a blanket over a table and making our houses under it. My parents would save the used clean food containers and we made a grocery store, we played resturant and cooks and of course school. We were pioneers, we played mother. We pretended we were nursing our little baby dolls and put bandaids on them. Hours and hours of fun...making cards for shut ins. Pasting pictures on jars and putting flowers from the garden in them for the neighbors..Endless fun. We followed mother around and worked with her around the home. I remember milk toast too when we were sick...

Anonymous said...

Yes the hospitality did go when more and more women went to work outside the homes. They all withdrew from each other. No time to be friendly with the hussle and bussle of otheir lives now. To entertain would just be one other thing to have to do. How sad. I over heard two working women talking the other day. They both said they wish they had the time for spring cleaning. Even just the time to be able to clean out a closet or some drawers. Nothing gets done they said outside of the everyday things that have to be done and then they hurry through it. I thanked God again when I heard this for I have the time. I need to reach out to some of the women around me who don't. By being hospitable I might be able to show them lovingly that there is a different way to live. Your post has so many parts to it. So many good points!

Anonymous said...

This is a truly inspiring post. I would love for my children to remember these things. As for what working mothers do it seems as if when a child is ill it's an inconvinience to them I know with a friend that is how she reacts. I would be heartbroken if any of my boys thought that about me at any time let alone when they were ill.

Sandra said...

I wish every woman in American would read this and that she would also 'see' it in her heart. Kids used to use their imagination as you said, but now they are too busy texting or calling on their cell phones, as young as 10 years old. They are tuned in to that little ring on their hip that they don't take notice of anything or anyone else around them. What a sad day we live in. I thank God that I am a keeper at home!

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud when I read the part in your post about boredom. Our children know that to say,'I'm bored' really means,'Give me something to do'. So I oblige them.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely post for a cold winter's morning.

Even though my house doesn't look perfect and I'm not a crafty type and I'm not a great cook, I tell myself that my children know that I am here, here in this home, and therefore this home is always a safe shelter from the storms that may be blowing outside. So in my own gentle, slow way, what a gift I am giving them.

People are starting to ask me what I am going to do now, presumably when my little one starts preschool (not that she is going to preschool, but that's a separate post).

Sigh. It's an upside-down world when raising your children yourself, and taking care of your home is no longer "normal."

Thank you again Lydia for all of your writings. You touch the hearts of so many of us at home.

~ Ann

Anonymous said...

This is a wonderful post, Mrs. Sherman, it really is. I remember many of the little things from my own childhood, & the things I did for & with my children. Though they are a bit older now, they still enjoy what I do to make home special. I so hope they will remember, with fondness, the niceties of a full home life. What could be sweeter than to hear a song, or taste & smell a certain food, & have good memories flood back into your mind?

Brenda

Emmarinda said...

Losing the whole hospitality and socializing occasions have really hurt the culture and women in particular, I think. People's homes are just way stations now, a place to crash in between work and shopping. I do know that a lot of working families still have their children enrolled in sports and extracurricular activities, but I do not know how they manage all that. It must take away from home time, but is there a case to be made for that kind of lifestyle? I truthfully hope not, because as a mother of five whose husband was often deployed or gone for long hours each day, I eventually had to give up having them go to all these activities - it was too much on me.

Jenny said...

I don't think hospitality left with working mothers. I don't know why, but even among my housewife friends, we rarely see each other -- and we live on the same street! My closest friend and I speak to each other on the phone, even though we live within a mile of each other. I long for a mid morning coffee chat with the housewife nextdoor, but everyone is too busy!!! What is going on! I've been in their houses and know that they don't spend oodles of time cleaning or cooking from scratch or homeschooling. I don't homeschool, but I do keep to a regular but flexible cleaning schedule and I cook just about everything from scratch. I would love to have someone over during the day every other week, but it seems only the children need togetherness, since now, even the playdates are drive-by affairs, with the mother just leaving her child.

What is going on in this world, when the housewife is too busy for neighborliness?????

Anonymous said...

Re the comments about hospitality among housewives (or lack of it!)

I notice the same thing in my neighborhood. I think I know why though, at least in my case.

The mothers who are at home are so busy driving their kids everywhere that they don't have the interest to just have a cup of tea together. They are enrolling their children in preschool and activities at age 2 or even earlier, because they are so scared that the children won't be "socialized" or will be missing out on what all of the daycare children are doing. Then they are running around to a billion activities after school for the same reason.

Just being an at-home mom doesn't mean you haven't fallen into the same trap as the working mother, believing that "real life" is happening somewhere else.

I actually feel weird sometimes for walking in my neighborhood, going to the park or even just playing in my yard. The world has been turned upside down.

~ Ann

Leigh said...

This is an excellent post! I absolutely love it!! I am so grateful everyday that I am home with (and homeschooling) my children!!

Anonymous said...

I will always treasure my day-long visits to a dear friend who always wanted me to come to her home and have time for each other. She always made tea and some tasty (fattening) delight, we gardened in each other's gardens on alternating visits, we talked politics, discussed articles we had read in Countryside magazine, we visited craft shops and antique shops and garage sales togther. We talked about our children and so much more. We at the time were in our late 40's thru our mid 50's.....but then life changed and we went our separate ways.
If any of you out there can develop such a friendship, it will enrich your life beyond measure.
If your neighbor doesn't invite you over...invite her to your place. Don't wait...time marches on, doesn't it.

My mother too made that comforting 'mush' of hot milk with buttered toast pieces mixed with sugar....when our tummies were feeling badly. Somehow it worked to better us.

A huge thank you to you Lydia for this latest lovliest of things to consider and act upon.

Anonymous said...

thank you soooo much for his post.I agree. Today alot of women look at me as if i dont have a life because im at home with my children and i would'nt change it for the best money making job out there. i love that i'm able to stay home with my children. i don't however homeschool but have been thinking alot about it i have a 10 year old and 3 year old [both girls] and i have to admit that some of the things that go on in my daughters school i dont particularly like. so i'm leaning on attempting to home-school maybe next year myself, im alittle scared as this is un-chartered waters for me im so thankful to be a stay at hoime mom. great post love it.

Trixie said...

My own sweet mother is one of those revered homemakers. I have so many fond memories of comming in from the cold to a warm bowl of soup and her love.

She was always there to baby us when we were sick and to inspire us with her creativity and fun projects. It is so not money and things that make kids happy. We had so very little and yet most of my childhood memories are of how much fun we had and how loved I was.

Mamas: please do not get discouraged because you cannot provide everything you think your kids should have -- it's your love that they need.

Trixie

Anonymous said...

Emmarinda, you pondered what happens when a sick child threatens to keep a mother home. When I worked in the school system as a para I remember my classroom teacher telling me to be on the lookout for children who were sick, but didn't show that they were running a temperature. What happened sometimes is that Tylenol or some other fever-reducing substance was given to the child that morning, to bring down the fever artificially....thereby allowing the child to go to school, technically free of fever. What usually ended up happening is that the child would miss more days of school later on anyway, because they got sicker.

Fever is a useful function of our bodies, & should be carefully monitored so that it can do its job, which is to try & kill invading illness. If it's deferred, more drugs may be required further down the road, & illness is prolonged.

My children are seldom ill now, but they had all the usual colds, stomach "flu", ear infections, that most youngsters will suffer. And I am glad, glad, glad that I was at home to tend to them properly.

Brenda

Anonymous said...

Not only was this post spot on but I so enjoyed reading all the wonderful comments and only wish I knew some of these dear ladies in *real* life!

My childhood memories were very similar to these even though my dear mother returned to work to help support 3 children when she was tragically widowed shortly before 40.

You have a wonderful way of encouraging *keepers at home* who have now-grown children and as one of your commenters pointed out, the Lord didn't say anything about children when He talked about it and that gives me more peace than I already had :o)

I wish young women and new moms would read and understand posts like this and not feel they're old fashioned ... even young Christian women today are being too impressed by the expectations of society and those around them rather than the Word of God and that's so sad.

It's the little ones who pay the price unfortunately :o(

Blessings dear Mrs Sherman for all that you attempt to do and teach!

Mrs. Anna T said...

What a wonderful, inspiring and uplifting post.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Ditto to the lady who thinks the world is upside down the way the family is going. Parents used to have many children. Now, children have many parents. Look at the old family albums and compare them to the present. We have traded personal desire for personal responsibility.

Anonymous said...

Our world has changed due to the takeover of our country by what talk show host, Michael Savage, calls liberalism, the mental disorder. Yes, indeed....our losses are directly due to progressive schools and colleges and media. They snuck in because we weren't alert to their ways...we were too unknowing..and some of us were a part of their ways in the radical 60's...remember?! Now I think we are waking to their sinster ways. We must reclaim our national Christian heritage. Find out ways of doing so.....don't give up as we are too close to losing all.
Lynn

Anonymous said...

He says he loves the 1950's when the cars were fast and the women were straight.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,
I don't know how much this has to do with your post, but I was at the fabric store last Saturday and there were two older homemakers with long hair and long skirts and they were both so sweet, kind and patient. They stood in stark contrast to the other older "ladies" with their super-short hair, cropped pants, running shoes and bad attitudes (not saying that always goes together but it did that day). I mentioned the incident to my (young teen)Sunday school class and they all responded that they hate it when older women look and act like grumpy old men. I imagine that staying home and tending to the hearth would be much more calming and peace inducing than competing with men in the workplace.
ESM

Anonymous said...

Emmarinda,
You asked about sick children and working mothers. I was one and I was in charge of many men who were married to women who worked outside of the home. I and my husband would usually split our day taking care of the sick little one. It was not a great plan as sick children always seem to want Mommy vice Daddy, but in my position at work I could not be gone for long. The men who worked for me would stay home with the sick children because they could get the time off more easily than their hourly-wage wives. When I was put in charge, I quickly put my foot down and told them that their wives had to stay with the child at least half the time as it was not fair to all the rest of our people. Sadly, almost ALL of the wives who worked not only did not need to, they were costing their family hundreds of dollars a month and yet they still insisted on working because they did not want to be home with their own children. May God help us.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Dear ESM,

Style does effect the countenance, the mood, and the over all demeanor of a woman. Designers claim to understand the needs of women in clothing and hairstyles. They advertise "quick" dressing and "quick" hairstyles, and "meals in minutes". Since the late 50's, a woman's efforts with her hair and clothes and home has been promoted as "effortless" or "easy." That way, she wont be "tied down" to the home, or burdened with fixing her hair and dressing in real clothes. Jeans and tee shirts are considered "casual" and effortless. The whole world promotes the idea of effortlessness. Its got to be quick, its got to be easy. Look at all the cookbook titles! It takes the effort that brings contentment, out of home living. I went to a pioneer celebraton recently, that lasted all day. When we first arrived, the hostess showed how to start dinner. It was 8 am and we had got there for a pioneer breakfast, but she was trying to show how to get dinner ready and she showed how it was cooked all day on a wood stove. At the end of the day when we ate the pan bread and the beans and side dishes they were the most comforting, tasty dishes I had ever eaten. All day we stayed there while various activities entertained the children, including WORK. Since it was on someone's farm, the children made play out of filling baskets of walnuts and filberts, shucking corn for a meal, fishing, picking lettuce and salad things from a garden, and feeding the chickens. The girls got great delight in washing clothes in an old tub with a scrub board. I watched them hang the wash and wondered if they knew what hard work it was, but after they had hung it up, some of the younger girls took it down and washed it AGAIN just for the fun of it. This is the oppression we were taught to hate; this is the all day housekeeping we were supposed to be liberated from and strive to avoid. It has not been good for us to think of home work as tedious and bothersome. If you watch the young girls who have not been so indoctrinated, they LIKE that kind of thing. It comes natural to them. They were dressed in costumes and they LOVED their clothes,with the accessories like purses and shawls and hats. One girl came into the camp area proudly carrying a picnic basket. The hostess showed them how to sweep with an old fashioned straw broom, and the girls fought over whose turn it was. Later in the day there were sit-down activities where girls learned to knit or craft and the boys were taught to do simple wood work projects like picture frames or wood baskets or trays, etc. Each guest had been asked to research and bring a project to demonstrate, from the era. I dont think anyone was in a hurry, and no one was complaining that their clothes were oppressive or uncomfortable. The boys especially seemed to love their over alls and their boots and hats. The girls that did not have costumes were very clever at innovating with just long skirts and shawls. I wrote this to show that the all day housework actually brought a lot of contentment to the women that day. I didnt see any anxiety or any hurry. The whole day was focused on the food and house preparation, and at night, with all the dishes washed, everyone sat around the campfire and sang. The dishes were a long and tedious chore, but there was some singing going on as one girl would pass a wash dished to another girl to rinse, and another girl would dry it with a hand made towel. Actually the hand made towels were made during a craft session, with a woman who provided the cloth and instructions on how to hem them. The men came in after work, for dinner. Some of them came from offices in the city or factories where they worked, and you could see the relief on their faces when they came into that farm and smelled the food. It was a very interesting day and as I observed, I thought how lacking in problems it was.

Emmarinda said...

Won't it be wonderful when women wake up to the fact that God wants them to be keepers at home and that He will faithfully reward them for taking up their noble work? I feel such a freedom and a sense of accomplishment when I do my work at home and build up my loved ones. To have the time and the freedom to be available to people is such a blessing to me.

In my opinion, the dirty little secret is that there is so much built in waste in people's expenditures that you can replace a second income just by cutting that waste out of your life. Basically, the "things" that our culture and the advertising industry tells us we "need" are not really necessary at all, and in a lot of cases, downright harmful.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

The girls and women were not tugging at their clothing, trying to keep it ON the way it is with the low cut jeans and the baby tops these days. The blouses and skirts, although not form fitting, were just so comfortable, and there was a certain equalizing in a way--because no one was showing off their figure; they were wearing clothes and enjoying the tiny little innocent prints, and the swishing of the skirts, the boots on the grass. The younger girls ran and played the pioneer games and didnt trip or anything and never commplained that they missed their track suits. They participated in all the races in those skirts and did just fine! ESM: the sweetness on the faces of the older women was really approachable. I agree the ladies with the cropped pants and spiked hair are formiddable looking and the look creates a social barrier. Its a scarecrow look.Essentially it is not their fault. Its been pushed on them since youth, by the designers, whom we know are up to no good. They design clothes that make women look like aliens.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Hospitality: Yes, it seems to be true that even the stay at home women have no time for it. There is also the discouragement factor: you invite people who do not show up, or you get guests who have no respect for you or your home.

Anonymous said...

Emarinda: WOmen CAN stay home, even with debt. They just cant pay as much on it, and have to stretch it out longer. Paying off a debt is NOT MORE IMPORTANT than caring for your own children, and it is not more important than being a homemaker. To put a job ahead of children will bring tragic results in the form of emotional problems, and hidden problems that might not show up until later. Then there is the problem of buying so much that you cant afford to live on your husbands salary. When you learn to cook and learn to Make things yourself, you can get by on very little. I watched families in the 1950's get by on a lot less, and live on their husbands income. I saw that prices were often HIGHER and it took longer to get something. I can remember when a pen cost a lot of money and you saved up for it. Now, you get them 10 for a dollar in a package. So we did pay more for some things. We didnt have big box stores where we could get things cheaper, either. One thing my mother did not buy was paper towels. She liked to have them when she could, but if money was short,the non-food items were quickly eliminated. THeya re not that expensive, but it was the principle of putting first things first. You didnt buy fast food, because there was none in most parts of the country. Families DID get in debt then, but the woman still did not abandon her home. The jobs were not out there for the taking, and were filled by men, who drove buses, delivered mail, managed stores, worked on the highway, etc. Men were proud to be the sole providers for their families

Lara Gisela said...

Great post as usual, Lady Lydia. I know I've said this before but I need to say it once again: you're such an inspiration to me, because sometimes I feel a bit lonely being a homemaker. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone here in my country who is a proud homemaker.
Blessings

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