We all enjoy change, do we not? And yet sometimes it is just not possible to go somewhere else for a new aspect on life or a little lift for the mind.
In lieu of a special table for tea, a large tray seems like a good place to set out a permanent tea time area. It brings a smile to me when I see it and reminds me to stop.
Stopping for tea in the home helps us all reset our temperaments. Maybe we are getting anxious or wound up or upset, or maybe we are feeling really good and want to keep it that way. Tea time sets a lot of things straight.
Sometimes people kick up a fuss when you start exercising your personal, God-given freedom, or make a change in your routine, but they will come closer to being peaceful after they get used to your new ways. You have to get them used to it. You have to keep doing it.
While you are partaking, I will address the problem of having someone in the home that gives a cold, hard stare of disapproval. Such a person (a husband, maybe, a guest, or a grown child?) may suppose they have some power in that kind of "look", but if you are aware that it is a method of controlling your feelings, you can get the better of it.
We used to say, "If looks could kill", in describing such a stare, but today people are calling it "the death stare." During tea time, such a cold hard stare is not allowed. Those who want to be glum and spoil everyone's enjoyment should not be be ignored, but invited to go elsewhere, or be given some work to do.
People that have the time to angrily shoot hateful glares at the family do not have enough productivity in their lives. Often they are so berift of good works and self improvement that they spend their time criticising other family members.
Take your tea in peace and tell them the following:
This is a place where we want to be happy and have beauty around us. We are not attacking you. No one is undermining you. No one is threatening you.
You need to stop bringing anger into the home. Come home and be happy you are alive; don't impose bad moods on the rest of us. Get busy fixing something. Or come and have a cup of tea.
Remember Fanny, in "Sense and Sensibility " when caught in a tight spot conversationally, would say brightly, "Tea!" Then she rang a little bell. That might be an interesting thing to do ☺️
I liked this chart from Pinterest but was sorry it didn't have a tea for the Disgruntled person or the Discouraged person or the Feeling Defeated person, etc.
I was doing some research about herbs in the Victorian era and discovered they had herbal teas for bad moods or racing thoughts, grief, low moods, or looping (things that go around and around in your mind).
Sometimes when cares are pressing, or the work around me and personal responsibility is daunting, I think it would be nice to have a very elegant tea room nearby to sit in, sip tea and get a good start on my day, but such a place can be found in the home. It just needs good lighting, a pleasant view of your books or other nice things, a comfortable chair, a cheerful table setting, and some sweet birdsong. I have a place like this with a hummingbird feeder and everyone who visits knows they can come in for a cup of hot tea and get a little revived.
10 comments:
I found the original place where that tea chart came from. Has interesting article too.
Dear Lady Lydia,
I really like your common sense advice for handling difficult people. I've noticed it in some your other posts. It reminds me of my Victorian era grandmothers when I was a child in the 1940's. They were such a positive force for goodness and bringing cheer - no matter what was going on. I am so thankful that I knew them, and I am thankful for your blog, too. Keep up the good work!
I recall almost 30 years ago, when I was in the process of adopting my son, I suddenly had a moment of near hysteria over all the paperwork and phone calls that I had to do, and the overwhelming feeling that I would never hold my precious child. I was passing a Chinese restaurant, and I parked and went in. I asked the lovely hostess if I might have a pot of tea. She saw that I was distressed, and she ushered me to a table in a quiet spot, brought me tea and a few sweet things. She told me to take all the time I needed to quiet my heart. That one pot of tea and the kindness of the staff that day brought me back to sensibility. I left the restaurant with a calmer spirit, and I was able to complete the rest of the tasks with a much surer attitude. My beautiful little boy was with us less than three months later. Yes, taking tea can help almost any situation!
I so appreciate your simple solutions and your positive frame of mind to not let others get to you. It seems we will always have grumpy people in our lives that want to drag us down. I'm thankful for your helpful advice.
Lovely advice, Lydia. I love having tea, but need to take more time to sit and enjoy it and have a little rest during the day. Things get so busy with so much to do, but your reminders to care for oneself are appreciated.
Dear Lydia
It has been a while since I commented, but I have been reading you posts, especially when I need some encouragement. You have such a soft touch and kind heart.
I want to tell you today of my great aunt, my grandfathers sister who played a big roll n my life specifically when I was a teenager. She always had a tea try ready, standing on the buffet in her dining room, with a tea net over it. Within minutes of a guests arrival, tea was served. Her teapot was a humble stainless steal one if I remember correctly, and her teacups were rather thick cups and saucers, a far cry from the dainty fine porcelain you and I prefer. But the sugar bowl was cut glass, and the spoon silver. There were always home baked biscuits in a tin, as well as huge rusks made of yeast, especially popular here in South Africa. I can't remember anyone leaving her house without refreshment. The tea were black Ceylon or Rooibos, a far cry from all the flavored teas people drink nowadays and it was mostly served with milk or sugar or lemon if someone was feeling poorly. What remains with me to this day is the level of hospitality and the utter respect and acceptance when she received (mostly uninvited but still welcome) guests.
Lovely post and especially helpful to do during the holidays. As for difficult people - they wear me out and make me feel sad. I love the term "looping" - that is what I do when I worry about things. Next time I'll just have a cup of tea! Happy Thanksgiving.
I too am so thankful for your blog and for your old-fashioned, common-sense advice. You have been such a blessing to me. :) And this post is an especially good one! We all need to make room in our lives for moments of rest and peace, no matter what is going on around us.
Have you ever shown us a photo of your tea corner near the hummingbird feeder? It sounds lovely.
I don't know if this link will work, but here is a link to another tea chart on one of my Pinterest boards:
https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/220324606744372453/
I used to adore black tea but I can no longer have caffeine due to health issues, so I have learned to love herbal tea. My favourite is rose hip tea - not the kind you can buy though, the kind made from collecting rose hips in the wild and drying them myself. The flavour is so tangy and I know it's giving me a good dose of natural vitamin C, which is a good thing in the winter months.
My mother made rose hip jam and rose hip syrup from the Wild Rose. I haven't had any thing from rose hips since those days. We used to eat a he rose hip flesh right off the rose hip.
I made rose hip syrup last winter, as a vitamin C supplement for my children. Rose hips are filled with health-giving benefits. :) Unfortunately the rose hip tea I purchase tastes more like dirt than anything else...but the tea I make from wild hips is fruity, tangy and bright orange in colour. I love it, but I have already used up this year's supply as I procrastinated in collecting them until the end of October, and by then most of the hips had turned to mush as we had a very warm autumn here in southern Ontario. Oh well, there is always next year. :)
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