Overcoming Discouragement

Discouragement: that which destroys or abates courage; the act of deterring from an undertaking.

"Evil examples are great discouragements to virtue." Noah Webster, 1928 Dictionary

Discouragement is a natural part of life, but how in the world can it be used? Some people look at life as a story unfolding, and when discouragement comes along, they are rather amused by it. They use it is part of their story. They view it as a challenge, or an obstacle that they have to find a way to remove.


Other people are bewildered by discouragement, feel trapped, and do not know what to do with it.

Table Scene from Country Living Magazine

Creating a beautiful spot in the home helps you recover from discourgement.

Growing food or flowers is an interesting way to learn about overcoming discouragement. Anticipating discouragement, some gardenners put three seeds in every
 hole that is dug: one to grow, one to get eaten by pests, and a third one to die.  We did this with our string beans, tomatoes, green peppers, lettuce  and corn, but this year ALL of them grew into perfect vegetables. Having several interests in your life, from sewing, to reading, or entertaining, can prevent the spoilers from taking away your enthusiasm, and discouraging you.


 The first few times we planted a garden, nothing much happened and we were not at all impressed by it. Then someone told us that the first year, a garden sleeps. The second year, it creeps, and the third year, it leaps.  Each time it is planted, the soil is built up a little more and nutrients are added. 



Then, there is manure. Manure is unpleasant, but it enriches soil when it is worked into the dirt and allowed some time to develop and  provide important nutrients. The farmer has to decide what kind of manure it is. Some manure is just straight from the animal, but other manure is mixed with straw or hay or wood shavings from the pen where it sleeps. That alters the properties of the manure and determines how much should be put in the garden soil.

Pretty Dining Table With Roses, from Country Living Magazine

Taking time to set a pretty table is good way to keep discouragement away.

Sometimes homemakers are attacked by people around them who want to discourage them. The first year at home, it might not look like there is much going on, because, like the garden, it takes a while to develop the routine and establish yourself.  The second year, things may be a little more noticeable, as you have made a little more progress in the things that matter to you at home. The following years, your homemaking has developed a foundation and a routine that your family has gotten accustomed to.  Your steady adherance to your duties is showing results.


Discouragers are blind to the truth around them. They can see no purpose in your responsibilities at home, and cannot even see obvious results, such as a clean home, good smells coming from the kitchen, an atmosphere of peace, and a beautifully arranged home. The discourager is listening to voices outside the home that say homemaking is not worthwhile.  They begin to doubt that your life as a homemaker and caregiver has any value. Discouragers often have a pre-conceived idea of what homemaking is all about, and expect perfection. They are often intolerant to dishes piled in the sink or laundry not finished, and they will not understand the many interruptions in the life of the homemaker.


 Sometimes jealousy is at the root of remarks aimed to discourage you. Sometimes the love of money is the root of the discouraging comments. Other times, peer-pleasing is the motivation.  You have stopped following the trends of the prevailing culture, and it makes other people uncomfortable. Or, someone  may be genuinely afraid that you will lose every material belonging and end up wandering alone with no food, no friends, and no fruits of your labors at home.


Discouragement can also come in the form of failed tasks or having your work ruined by others.  This is one of the reasons I often refer to the description in Proverbs of the little creatures called the ant, the spider and the cony.  They do not need an overseer or a ruler over them because they have been given direction by their king, the Lord God, who made heaven and earth.  When discouragement comes,in the form of a rain storm or a strong wind, they start over, and rebuild.


Whatever the reason for discouragement, it might be a good idea to treat it the same way as manure, and put it to good use.


 The way to use discouragement is to use it as a signal to do something productive, or reward yourself. If you have just been with someone who has discouraged you, use it as a signal to improve your house in some way.  Put a new vase of roses on your table.  Light a scented candle. Treat yourself to something you like.  Take the children on an outing to look at beautiful houses. Take a basket of gifts to a widow or a lonely person.  Make a package for someone. Watch a favorite movie.  Clean one room in the house. Clean out your china cabinet and organize your tea cups according to color.  Bake a cake. Arrange your children's clothes according to season or color.  Dress up.


 The list does not seem to end, when you are trying to list  good things you can do to respond to the discouragement all around you.  While the other people are wagging their heads and mouthing off, you can create a beautiful guest room and take some pictures for family album.  All these ideas are things that show the fruits of your labors.  "Give her the fruits of her hands," says the Proverbs, referring to the worthy woman.


Even when discouragement is thrown at you, keep doing good. If you are defeated, you are of no use to yourself or anyone. You cannot use your talents or abilities.  This is what you were made for: to glorify God and serve Him. If you allow discouragement in your life, it will defeat you in doing what is right.


Those who fasted were taught by Jesus not to go around with long faces, making everyone around them miserable because they were enduring the hardship of fasting. Instead, they were told to wash and dress in good clothes and be cheerful.


 Discouragment is a lot like fasting, because it can keep you from enjoying your normal life.  Dressing up and starting anew can make a big difference in the way discouragement affects you.  You can use discouragement to create something good, if you will use it as a reminder to do something good. It does not have to be "productive," but it helps if it is pleasant. Just do something pleasant, to counter-act any discouragement.



The things others tell you can be just ridiculous, so look at it like the manure that it is, and get on with your life. You can briefly explain your convictions to a discourager, and if you can see that they want to take you into a long argument, refer back to your original statement and go about your business.


It will take discouragers awhile to understand that being a home maker is partly duty and partly belief. Belief, the Bible says, must be accommpanied by example.  Example brings results, talking does not.  Use discourgement as a building block to something greater.


If someone is constantly worrying you because you are a homemaker, use your computer to write a printable paper about your beliefs. You can hand it to them instead of wearing out your voice and raising your blood pressure.  You could also invite the doubter on a tour of your work at home and say something like, "This is the kitchen, and today, I will have to wash all those dishes and fix x number of meals. " Open the refrigerator and point out that you have to shop for food, and will also be cleaning the refrigerator first. Take them to the laundry room and show them what has to be done there.  Show them the pile of papers that need to be sorted.  Take them to the bathroom and describe what cleaning needs to be done. Show them the appointments on your calender.Take them outside and show them the work that needs to be done there.


Perhaps you could make a special list of things you would like to do or make, and when discouragement seems the most unbearable, do one of those things. Write the list in a beautiful blank book and use a special pen.  Open the beautiful book when your friends have forsaken you or have discouraged you.


David revealed the discouragers in his life, when he wrote the 35th Psalm. He called them "hypocritical mockers," and said they would be brought to shame.


 Each time someone was discouraged, God gave them something to do. Look at Joshua, Moses, Elijah, Nehemiah, and other great people of the Bible who were discouraged. God reminded them of the job they had to do.


 Think of any person you know of, past or present, who overcame discouragemet and accomplished something, and immitate their example in courage. There are many reasons for discouragement. I have mentioned one here. When discouragement is dished up to you, consider it manure, which is useful for growth, if put to work. Use every discouraging comment or action as a signal to produce something of value or do something that has meaning in your life.  The discouragers will see you blossom like a flower  right before their eyes, as they keep shovelling more manure around you.