Friday, September 21, 2007

Private Symbols in the Home

Evening Whisper
Evening Whisper
Art Print

McNaughton, Jon
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Rosen
Rosen
Art Print

Kruger, E.
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Rosen in Silberner Schale
Rosen in Silberner Schale
Art Print

Kruger, E.
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There has always been a spiritual aspect in the duties of homemaking. Without it, jobs become only tolerable and mundane. Many women new to full time homemaking have difficulty grasping the purpose of homemaking. They see it as housekeeping only. They quickly use up their enthusiasm for the role, when they only experience the material things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, and general home care. They do not realize that there are ways of doing these important tasks that improve the mood, and make it home-sweet-home; the kind of place that memories are made of. When little symbols and touches are added to the hard work, a home develops a spiritual atmosphere


Cleanliness and orderliness at home is not enough, if you want to have a feeling in your home. This feeling is achieved by adding private symbols that have meaning beyond their mere existence. Someone collected a list of these ennobling things for me to put on this blog.

Our little-miss-critic, who comes on this blog regularly, reminds us that these are "drudgery jobs" and she hires someone else to do them. She only wants to do things she enjoys. She is missing the spirit of the home. She does not understand the ennobling effect of adding the private symbols while putting the house in order, cleaning things, arranging, or rearranging.

To add your own private symbols and create more warmth or excitement in the house, consider doing the following:

1. Collect a stack of letters from your mother or grandmother or a friend, tie them in a bundle with a wired ribbon and add a piece of rosemary or a rose from the garden. Place it on a shelf or table, to remind you of the person and their contribution to your life.

2. Bring in flowers from your garden, or buy just one exquisite rose from the grocery store, and place it in a bud vase or a narrow bottle from your kitchen.

3. Cut out pictures from catalogs and magazines, or print your own from the web, and put them in frames.

4. Display your favorite books embraced by pretty book-ends. You can embellish plain book-ends with all kinds of things, even potted plants, to give them a more interesting look.

5. Get out all the linens and doilies that you never use and put them under lamps, over picture frames, on tables, draped over curtains, and on little shelves. It softens the look of the home, and it somehow seems quieter when these linens are covering the hard surfaces of tables and windows.

6. Add sea shells, beautiful rocks, or colored bottles to your window sills.

7. A candle in a candle holder is a nice touch, and it reminds us that even in the age of electricity, we can still use the same kind of light that our forefathers used from the beginning of time. If you use scented ones, particularly those that remind you of homey things, like cinnamon, the home feels more homey.

8. Put a bowl of fresh fruit in the kitchen.

9. Fold towels with the folds facing out, and stack them in the bathroom on a shelf or bench.

10. Display tea cups in the dining room.

11. Handmade crochet rugs really make a sitting room look homey.

12. Have one of your children play the piano or sing, during the day, or play soothing c.d.s and tapes while you clean house.

13. Hang beautiful artwork, even if it is a print, in your home. It has a refining and nobling effect on the occupants.

continued.

Friday, September 14, 2007

New Review


I've been given a gracious review for my book, "Just Breathing the Air." If you like books, this one is essential. It is a high quality, glossy, soft-covered book with the best paper, and a size 14 print for the most part, for reading ease. It is full of wonderful pictures that just speak to you as though the story is alive right now. Click here to read more http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/Teach_Your_Children_Well_17/Living_Free_The_Story_of_Just_Breathing_the_Air1002910.shtml
The photograph is of Lillian, who was only 18 when she went north to Alaska with her husband, rowing the "Li'l Kathy" which he built for her, in 1953, on Lily Lake where the homestead was located.
Several people have said the book should be made into a movie. When you read it, however, the story becomes a movie right in your own mind. Who needs a movie when you have a book like this!
Check here for availablity of download or print copy http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=549387 As I mentioned in a previous review of this book, downloads are nice but this is a great book to hold and touch, being made of high quality paper, and everything is pleasant to to handle and to read.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Outdoor Evening Tea

High Tea
High Tea
Art Print

Graves, Abbott...
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You can go here http://makeminepink.blogspot.com/2007/09/welcome-to-tea-we-are-so-happy-you.html#links to see other people's teas today and this week. I thought it was only for one day, the 10th of September so I kept trying to get mine ready. With all the busy-ness of my life and the care of my family, the time got later and later until finally it got dark, but I would not give up! I decided even if it was midnight, I was going to at least set the table. We did four takes because every single time, someone came into the filming area and asked for something...next time, we will include the interruption just for sentimental value!

Be sure to visit http://www.thepleasanttimes.blogspot.com/ for my daughter's tea...it is hilarious.

Here is my front porch tea. I waited so long for some time to get it ready that the sun went down, so I decided to make it an evening tea. The weather had been hot and now the wind was blowing. I used battery operated tea lites from the dollar store so the wind would not blow out my candles. With all the commotion in my home these days, it is sometimes difficult to find things, so I take whatever is near and do my best. A baby blanket makes a nice tablecloth for this outdoor table. The tea is hot water with a teaspoon or less of frozen purple grape juice, to make it pink, and of course everyone is delighted with it. I don't know if I will win a prize, but my daughter, who filmed it, is more than thrilled to be putting up a video here. Be sure to check over at The Pleasant Times (listed on the side) for her tea party. It is definitely more interesting!
To be fair to everyone, the first video clip is for broadband, and the second clip is for a slower speed internet connection. Hopefully all will be able to view the film without any trouble.




Broadband connections:




For Slower Connections:






Here is a photo of the tea, and a close up of the tea light that I used used in place of the candle flame ( I set it in a hollow place I made in the pillar candle):














Saturday, September 08, 2007

Taking Time To Reflect



Students and those on other blogs: The articles on this site are copyrighted. You are not allowed to paste them on your blog unless you get permission from the author. Email me here: ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net with the name of your blog and the location.

The Proverbs 31 description seems to be a long list of physical accomplishments and material things. Today, we are under the spiritual law of Christ and must remember that spiritual values are more important. These spiritual values include teaching the you ger women how to guide and guard the home and how to take care of the family with a personal touch.

This list comes from Gwen Webb's book written in 1972, from the chapter about women being at home. Though it lists many homemaking responsibilities, it is also our spiritual duty before God, in obedience of Titus 2, to be keepers at home.  Keeping the home is a spiritual response.


Before you read this article with intent to mock, go here http://homeliving.blogspot.com/2007/11/mature-audiences-only.html and read this. The list of 30 things was given to me as a teenager and I saved it. It was intended to help young women who claimed there was "nothing to do," or that they were "bored" at home. It was never intended to impose on any homemaker a must-do list. Most women never accomplish anything on this list because of the daily work that is necessary. It was not a list of things that would make you a perfect homemaker. It was intended to point out that homemaking is a full time job.

Young women need to also type in the words "Girls and Their Influence" and get an idea of why they cannot find a man to marry who will be a good provider and protector.

The 21st century progressives interpretation of Proverbs 31: 1-31 is increasingly biased towards the career woman who leaves her home daily to bring in a salary. I've not known the controversy over these verses until only recently, because prior to 1965, most women saw it as an ideal and left it at that. Today, they must analyze it and pick it apart until it means that she is a full time real estate sales person, and that she pulls in a salary. Preachers are liberalizing it so that they can justify the women putting careers first, skipping their duties at home, and bring in extra money for the family. Most preachers have their wives working these days and do not want to give up that extra money.

Instead of true study, many men are changing the meaning of scripture to suit the culture, rather than trying to change the culture to conform to the scriptures.

That chapter in Proverbs just gives you an idea of the worth of a homemaker, because of all that she does for her family. It was not intended to force women to work as realtors or as business women, and still expect them to manage the home perfectly. See what Miss Anna has to say about it on her blog here http://ccostello.blogspot.com/.
lSummer's Day in the Flower Garden
Summer's Day in the Flower Garden
Stretched Canvas Print

Reid, Robert...
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I have a list of things that someone gave me when I was first married. It said, "If you can say 'yes' to these things 30 times, (for one month) you probably have time to take on a money earning job at home or go to work." This list also emphasised that women do not necessarily need to do every single thing. It was presented in case a woman said she was bored at home and wanted to go to work outside the home.

I believe that women should not take on extra work until she has the following things under control. Most new homemakers who have not had mothers and grandmothers as role models, will find it more difficult just to do the basics, so I would strongly urge you to do things in your relaxing time that really make you happy and relax you, rather than trying to prove you can bring in a second income.

The most intelligent, strong decision a woman can make is the decision to be a full time homemaker. It is not necessarily more "strong" or smart to choose a career or get a job...it is actually the easy way out of doing her duty. Strong, intelligent women at home have always been able to be artists, writers, inventors, midwives--even scientists. I've mentioned some of them in past articles. Progressives of the 20th century have always spread the stereotype that women at home are not "allowed" to do anything but house work, in an effort to persuade women to choose careers. They were told by the media and at school that homemaking is limiting their "choices," but you will find you have more choices and interests at home. At work, you are limited to the dictates of the company you work for, unless you have your own business. Many women have businesses at home that bring in extra money and give them great creative pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that, but to say a woman MUST earn money to make her of any value, or to say that she cannot do anything because she is "at home" is to mis represent women from the beginning of time.

Another thing that needs to be clarified is that although the Old Testament was written "for our learning, " as the New Testament states, it is the words of Christ that are my final authority, so, rather than anguish over Proverbs 31 and whether or not the woman was a full time real estate agent, I go to I Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2, and many other New Testament Scriptures that state clearly what is expected of a woman. The younger women were told to marry, bear children and keep house. That speaks volumes, and much more could be written about it by older women who have already experienced it. The older women were to teach the younger women how to love their husbands, love their children, and manage the home. There have been many good books that elaborate on how this is done in any given country or any given era. You can get a nice book called "Treasury of Vintage Homemaking Skills" by Mrs. Martha Greene, that elaborates on everything from laundry to cooking and more. I will add this book to the side bar.

Here is the list:

1. Do you have a morning routine in the house?
2. Are your dishes washed and put away?
3. Is your cabinet top clear?
4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?
5. Have you cleaned your cupboards and storage areas and fridge in the last 3 months?
6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?
7. Are your carpets clean?
8. Is your floor clean?
9. Is your living room ready for company?
10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)
11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?
12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)
13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?
14. Does your house smell nice?
15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)
16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?
17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)
18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?
19. Are your drawers and storage areas organized?
20. Are your photos organized?
21. Are your computer files organized?
22. Is your correspondence caught up?
23. Do you make any of your own clothes?
24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?
25. ARe your books organized?
26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?
27. Are your windows clean?
28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?
29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?
30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?


Perhaps there are interests such as writing, crafts, hobbies, or other things that you can pursue. Some of these things also can be sold and can double your enjoyment of them. However there is always a danger of pressure and burn-out if it is done at the expense of keeping your home beautiful. I think it is fun to make something to sell once in awhile but I don't think women should be pressured to do it all the time.

NO one should feel they must do all of this, but the point is that there is always something you are needed for in the realm of the home and family. You are not NEEDED 'out there' in the same way. You can be REPLACED in a hired job, but at home you are not replaceable. There is a distinct role for you that NO ONE ELSE can fill. No one else can be the wife, or the daughter or the mother or the guide of the home. No one else can be in charge of the home but the homemaker. Even if you can say "yes" to these thirty things, there will be 30 more things waiting for you to do. If you are really bored, you can start a business at home. If you are tired of all the work at home, you can do something that relaxes you. Our foremothers used to read a great deal, write letters to their sisters and mothers, make hooked rugs, make jewelry, make all kinds of things! They loved going for walks and telling stories and I can't list all the other things. We have a generation of women who do not remember these things or have not had the privilege of experiencing them. Sometimes they do not know how to act at home.

I will remind you that these things are not all necessary, but it is important to know what all there is to do before attempting to take on more work. Now if a woman has a hobby and it gives her joy, and someone wants to pay her for making something for them, well and good. But I don't think home makers should feel any pressure to make money. They make money just by the work they do, because otherwise they would have to pay someone else to do it, pay for convenience food, pay for housekeepers, or pay for expensive clothes.

I have read several sites that recommend that women buy things instead of growing them, or making them, but in my opinion if you like to bake bread or knit, you should do it. My parents had what I call in my book, "Just Breathing the Air," a "Great Potato Enterprise." They cleared a spot in the back area and showed us how to plant potatoes. We went behind them as they dug up the rows and we plopped the sprouted potatoes in the holes. Then a brother or sister walked behind us and covered up the holes, and then another one watered it. We did a similar assemby line routine when it was time to harvest them. Since there were 7 children, our parents thought we ought to be busy and they let us sell some of the harvest. I mentioned in my book how much I enjoyed taking my share to market and what I bought with the money. Some people might argue that it would have been cheaper to buy potatoes elsewhere, but my parents liked the taste of new potatoes grown themselves, and they also wanted to help us learn to feed ourselves and learn to sell our products.

I do not mean to refute anything anyone else is writing about this, or to hurt anyone's feelings. but I just want to say that each family can do what suits them, as long as it doesn't endanger the wife's rest and health. I think in general, it puts too much pressure on a woman at home to expect her also to earn money.

Here is a sting to this list: Most people will never ever get it all done to the point they "have nothing to do." Some times the so-called empty-nesters can do a better job in their yard work, or get all the walls painted at the same time, or catch up on the photo albums. Even they are sometimes overwhelmed with the work of the home. That is why it takes a full time homemaker to do it effectively.

Also, a home maker should allow herself time to reflect. Our grandmothers and great grandmothers of the Victorian era (isn't it interesting that all of our generation had Victorian relatives--especially since so many young women seem to hate that era!!) took time to stroll in the garden, smell the roses, look at the water or watch a sunset. They enjoyed a glass of lemonade on their porches. They had time to make calls on other people and take baskets to other people. During the day, they didn't have to have people watch over and dictate to them how to live at home and what to do next. They seemed to have a natural instinct for it. The new generation has somehow had, through education, that instinct for the home removed from them, so that they are always looking for answers about how to conduct their days as homemakers. The best way to discover your routine and responsibilities is through observing daily what you seem to be doing. That is usually how homemakers operate. They do what needs to be done the most urgently, first, and then if they are able, do other things. Eventually a routine will develop.
Songs of Childhood
Songs of Childhood
Art Print

Curran, Charles...
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Hammock
Hammock
Art Print

Johnson, Edward...
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Summer's Day in the Flower Garden
Summer's Day in the Flower Garden
Stretched Canvas Print

Reid, Robert...
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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tea Parties Monday September 10th











I enjoy looking at the Make Mine Pink Sites and blogs http://makeminepink.com/ because they are all about the home! Furnishing it, painting it, eating in it, supplies for the home and much more, abound in these sites. I admire the fact that many families have little businesses from home to add to their income.


"Spring Tea" by Susan Rios


It is always interesting to see those pieces that most people do not think they have any use for, used in a beautiful way, even making it more valuable.



On Monday September the 10th, they are hosting a tea party. You just post pictures of your own tea party on your blog. Go to the site and click on the MMP Blog and read more about it. I hope to post one also on that day. JUst click on the pink invitation and see what is going on.
I often wish there were Tea Gardens at the local fairs and festivals instead of those awful, stinking beer gardens that one is forced to walk past witht their children. Tea Gardens would welcome little children and teen agers and all those people that need a nice, soothing place to sit. Whatever ideas you have to encourage such a trend, please let us know!!

The thing I like most as a hostess, about an Afternoon Tea, is that the preparation is usually refrigerated, and the only thing you have to keep hot is the tea pots. I think a meal is wonderful, but if guests are late, or it sits on the stove too long, it is not as good. Tea foods seem so fresh and good and even when we are in a hurry, there are always gourmet cookies or sliced fruits and vegetables.










The paintings are from the Susan Rios Gallery at



























Among Friends" by Susan Rios




I remember when I first moved to this location. A woman and her three daughters brought us a portable tea party. They even brought a folding round table with table cloth, and tea pots. They created a tea buffet for us with little bits of foods--cheeses, meats, gourmet crackers, vegetables, fruits, scones and desserts and of course pots and pots of hot tea. I was so lifted up by it that I jotted it down in my memory as something to do for my neighbor, who cannot get around much anymore, due to her health.


Please check back again this afternoon, as we are trying to post a video of some simple cleaning and decorating tips to show those people who need a little boost in their homemaking. Even a one minute show seems to take so much time to set up!
Also my daughter and I are considering posting "Room of the Week" just to motivate us to get some long awaited improvements finished. In the meantime, I am absorbed in the usual things that make a house a home. While I was washing dishes today a thought struck me about the incredible freedom that homemakers have, compared to those who work for another employer every day. Our schedules are whatever we chose that suits us best. Our surroundings and decor are also up to us. Our time and our money are managed by us, and we can choose what kind of music we want to listen to, which is quite the opposite when in a place of business that is not your own. If we do not feel well, we rest. If we need to have a friend to tea, we do so. If we want to write a letter, we do. There are crafts and hobbies and sewing, house keeping and decorating, and every lovely thing that makes being the guide and keeper of the home attractive.


Saturday, September 01, 2007

Something Nice

Enjoy the Old Painted Cottage of the Month here http://www.theoldpaintedcottage.com/cottagemonth.html

Check out Kristy Howards "Homemakers Cottage" and see her publication which features meals for a month! http://www.homemakerscottage.com/

Friday, August 31, 2007

Tea Parties.

If you have just arrived at this page, please be sure to click on the title "Home Living" at the top, or here: http://www.homeliving.blogspot.com/ to see the recent articles. Then, bookmark Home Living on your favorites!

I enjoy looking at the Make Mine Pink Sites and blogs http://makeminepink.com/ because they are all about the home! Furnishing it, painting it, eating in it, supplies for the home and much more, abound in these sites. I admire the fact that many families have little businesses from home to add to their income. I like the way so many things are used in a new way and I like the tea party they are now having.










Victorian Women and Their Sense of Duty




We have been enjoying seeing the occasional Queen Anne or Victorian home in our area. One thing the Victorian families left to us was their houses. In them, it cannot be denied that they cared so much about their own families that they created places for them. Little turns and alcoves, both in the garden and the house, created places for children that would one day be the source of sentimental stories of growing up. Porches remain where family courtships took place. There were rooms where babies were born or where the head of the house kept his records and paid his bills. Some rooms were just for play, and others were artists studios. There seemed to be room for everything in an era where houses were built up rather than spread out. These two and three storey homes also meant there was more yard space and more space between one house and another.





Easy Living




Easy Living

Art Print


Warwick, Dwayne


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Victorian architecture was a combination of several different styles, all which were built within the 19th century. Victorians had one character quality that is largely missing today, although it was so strong in them, that some of it still permeates our lives in the 21st century. This was a strong sense of duty. In a sense, their style of architecture reflected their sense of duty, although that would require an entirely different type of article.

In general, Victorian women felt a strong duty to be good wives and mothers. The culture of the family was reinforced constantly. Men loved to come home to a happy family, and appreciated the time a woman spent making that home beautiful, preparing "toothesome" meals, and dressing her children well. She had a little garden, as most people did in those days, which provided the best food for her family. She felt it her duty to be the guide of the home, a full time wife and mother who had power over society through her role as the homemaker.

In Victorian times, duty was a strong word. It was a sense of personal responsibility and personal pride. It was considered shameful to have gone back on your word.





Duty was such a part of the 19th century person, that society was generally ruled by it. Women who wanted to be good, felt it a duty to protect their children by personally nurturing them and seeing that they were taught manners, and that they offended no one. Men felt duty bound to build their family a house which would also provide part of the inheritance for future generations. Women felt it was their duty to be their husband's counsellor and closest ally. Children felt the duty deep within them to speak well of their parents and to honor them and to please them and avoid creating any kind of offense. Compare that to today, where shock value seems to be the order of the day, whether in the home or in the world.





Duty was such a part of their lives that a person was careful not to promise what they could not fulfill, and careful to look around first and test the repercussions of what he did. Your word was to be trusted. People rarely went back on their word. Probably everyone has experienced the inconsiderate behavior of someone who held them up by being late or not showing up at all. In the 19th century, there were those, as there always are, who indulged in such inconsiderate behavior, but they were not considered reliable and would not be regarded highly. I have been home waiting for repair companies or guests that never came. This was considered in that day the height of rudeness, but today it is part of every day life, and we are not happier for it.






Sunday Afternoon I




Sunday Afternoon I

Art Print


Brown, Robert


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We can learn a lot from the Victorian sense of duty. They carried this sense through their worst times. That strong sense of duty meant respect, reverence and regard. They would no more have thought of wearing shorts and flip-flops and a tank top to a church meeting than to someone's home. Even their walking gardens, parks and villages were so well laid out that it took a thoughtful walk through them to appreciate them.






A sense of duty caused them to be careful what they left behind for others to enjoy, or for future generations. I wonder, what will our generation leave behind and what will the next generation think of our clothing, our manners and customs, our hospitality, our businesses, our art and architecture? Without a strong sense of duty, people will be careless. They will say, "Well, when I am gone, I won't care." We may be gone, and not care, but others will care. They will suffer the consequences of the way were. We enjoy everything Victorian--their beautiful designs, their love of gardens and flowers, their love of art, music and poetry and their social habits of calling on one another, having tea, and their handicrafts, still inspire us.





Duty meant that they left things that would be loved and appreciated by others for generations to come.




Lakeside Retreat I




Lakeside Retreat I

Art Print


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As discussed before, homemaking is much more interesting when it is done with an artistic eye. I believe the Victorian women felt a duty to beautify the home. I remember my own mother, grandmother, and great grandmother having time for many interests. Every year when the county fair came about, homemakers of all ages, even the little girls, entered their accomplishments. The sewing category was always full of the dresses that young women made, and it gave us so many stimulating ideas. There was a table setting display, flower arrangements, home decoration, cooking, gardening, etc. In some county fairs today, you can enter anything you want, and if there is no category for, they will provide one.
Peonies




Peonies

Art Print


Chiu


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Hobbies at home were the icing on the cake. We got our necessary work finished (ironing, laundry, dishes washed, cooking, etc) and made a little extra time to do the things we found most relaxing, such as sewing or doing up a room in a special way. Special interests often led to home businesses, another source of income. When women left the home and went into working away from home, many of these interests were neglected. I remember that my mother in law used to buy a special pan scrubber, which a woman made by crocheting nylon netting of different colors, into a circle. She bought these regular for herself and for gifts. There were other things that women sold from their homes, and it seemed like so many of these homemakers were proficient at least at one thing and would sell it to you.


Victorian women felt it was their duty to teach the next generation of women how to have a well-kept home and raise a good brood of children. Men and women had a high regard for one another. Men wanted to protect women and women admired the men and wanted to marry once and have a family. The women had a strong sense of duty that propelled them to stick through marriage, through good times and through hard times. They recognized that marriage and family would have to go through trials, because they saw the previous generation do it. Today we are not as bound by that sense of duty, but we can certainly learn from the Victorian Women.Enchanting Chateau




Enchanting Chateau

Art Print


Hilger


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You can read more about the Victorian sense of duty in the book "Gaining Favor With God and Man," which is a great study in the character of Victorian educators, statesmen, and women. The book cites Mary Lyon, a prominent Victorian teacher of women, as saying to her pupils: (which dashes to pieces the modernists belief that women were not educated! They were educated, but more in the character quality of duty to marriage, home and family, than they are today) as saying, "Go where duty calls. Take hold, if necessary, where no one else will." Duty, as a watchword and inspiration, she kept before them constantly. Personal obligation, instead of personal fulfillment or fame, she sought them to remember. We should all live our best, like the example of these Victorian women, not letting time be wasted. We should seek what is good and lovely and pure and bring others to want to know more about the Christian way of life. Women who have a strong sense of duty will feel a driving force to keep their homes in a beautiful way, and to to embellish them with the things that bring peace and harmony to the home.
(Just a reminder that you can purchase any of these prints on any article by clicking on it or the title. Some of them are only $7.00. They are a great thing for your home, to build up the values that you cherish, in your family. You never know if looking at such pictures will inspire a budding architect, or cause a young girl to want a home and family of her own one day. If you order by clicking on one of the pictures here or at my daughter's site, Lillibeth and I earn a little money, as an affiliate. We both try to choose prints that speaks to the heart of a woman who loves her home. My "store" is at the end of the page here and I hope to add more favorites to it. Also please do not forget to check her blog at The Pleasant Times , as she updates almost daily. I have not been able to do that but hope to get organized enough to post more often. )

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A New Day

I just noticed blogger has a place to insert a personal movie, and am excited about getting one ready. I thought it might be fun to do a basic decorating thing. I would like to point out that decorating was not always called decorating. It was home making. Today it has been made into a big deal, but it used to be a way to create a home that made it friendly and comfortable. I wrote an article about this earlier in this blog, on how you can "decorate" without appearing to decorate. It is the way you arrange things and clean them and the atmosphere you create. I am working on putting labels on all the articles so that there will be a decorating category, but this is taking some time. The story I wrote a few months back was about "decorating without decorating." It was how we used to arrange things before we even heard of the term "decorating." Someone had commented that her husband did not like decorating and wanted everything left alone, so I showed how cleaning could be decorating, and arranging could be decorating, and putting things away could be decorating. For example, you see a bare spot, and you put something there that you need to store, whether it be a basket or a trunk. You clean off your kitchen cabinet surface and you place a bowl of lemons there. Emily Barnes, in her book, "The Spirit of Loveliness" even goes so far as to suggest that after you thoroughly clean the fridge, you put a jar of parsley or celery in water and set it there to greet you when you open the door. Yes, even a cupboard or a fridge can be decorative if you clean and arrange things right. I showed how a lamp and a photo in a frame could be part of the decor. Everyone has these things and if they are chosen with care and arranged thoughtfully, they are part of decorating. You can clean the bathroom and carefully fold a towel and hang it up. That can be decorating for those who don't know how to decorate. That is how it begins.




Friday, August 24, 2007

Easy Baskets




Someone sent me this link http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/20030101/FRIDGE/baskets.htm to make easy baskets out of paper plates.


You can get very pretty paper plates and make these. They are even less expensive than getting a container at the dollar store, and will encourage children to be resourceful. I think they are good for giving, filled with home made things. Someone sent me a sample of their own version of this using a much prettier paper plate.




and this














Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Duty Plus Beauty

Home living has to be more than working. If everyone's job had an end-result of beauty, it would change the results considerably. I remember growing up how we used to have what is called "copy-books." Some of the students had made their's so beautiful, they were worth saving. They contained various subjects that we were graded on, and we learned quickly that we would either be miserable completing the task, or add beauty to it and relieve the pressure, increase the enjoyment, and end up with a project worth admiring.
Today's cottages are by artist Susan Rios. You can order these prints at a reasonable price and decorate your home with them.
In previous articles on the Lady Lydia Speaks columns, I have mentioned how children will form some of their tastes, their likes and dislikes, visually. I had a painting of two children sitting on a little white fence with berry buckets in their hands. My children always wanted to have their picture taken in a similar pose. We tend to imitate what we see around us.
Our moods can be greatly affected by the sights we see. In Elizabeth's Gaskell's "North and South," the main character, Margaret, wrote to her cousin and expressed her great sorrow over the gloominess of the place she had removed to.
When we wake up to bleakness and emptiness, we can get quickly depressed. This sets a very cloudy forcast for the day! That is why, in going about the necessary work of the home, I believe it is good to include as much beauty as possible.
Our grandmothers put out their little colored embroidery, their small vases of flowers, and all their pretty tapestry for a reason. The home is not intended to be a box where everyone lives a plain existence with no softness and loveliness surrounding them.
Linda Lichter wrote in her book "The Benevolence of Manners" that modernist designers had taken away the beauty of architecture, so much so, that a songwriter expressed the blandness in a song with, "Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same." These elitist designers believed in "less" and told people it was "more," hoping to talk them into such bland living. As she so eloquently stated, we have gotten more and more of less and less..."
When we live without beauty, as though we were in jail cells or army barracks, it can create depression. The little cottages here really are cheerful and give some idea that a simple structure that would otherwise be very depressing, can create a happy response in the human heart when it is decorated beautifully.
It is in my opinion, important to approach other things, such as dish washing, laundry, cleaning up messes or sweeping, with an eye for detail and for beauty in the end. That means that when it is finished, it creates an opportunity to improve the look, not just with cleanliness, but with the things that make you smile; the things that make your heart happy.
Let me give some examples:
A favorite doll or toy in the book shelf gives the eye a rest and makes you smile as you glance across the book titles.
A lamp sitting on a colorful cloth gives the surface some softness and creates less glare.
Other interesting touches of beauty:
-Add a collection of photographs in interesting frames, when straightening and cleaning a fireplace mantel
-A copper kettle on top of your stove
-A vase of flowers in the kitchen gives an unlikely color spot
-A colorful mat or rug at your feet in the kitchen
-After cleaning the bathroom, fold towels in a special way and put out a fresh bar of soap on top of them.
If you teach yourself and your children that there is a reason and a reward for the work of the home, they, and you, will approach it with an entirely different attitude.

The painting is by Susan Rios, called "Rosey Beginning" which can be purchased from http://www.karenwhitney.com/sr/gallery2/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=21

Woman as Guide of the Home

The Bible speaks specifically of a woman as the guide, or guard of the home. Many people misunderstand this to mean that the women have to do all the work at home, but this is not true. If it were so, she would be worn out before she even got started in the care of the home.


In being the guide of the home, she is like the Chief Information Officer. She may not put everything away, but she knows where it should go, and will assign the task to someone in the family. She may not wash the dishes all the time, but she knows how it is to be done, and will guide others into helping her.

She may not take out the trash, but she will inform others of the need of doing it. She may not answer the phone all the time, but her family knows she wants a record kept of them. She may not do all the cooking, but she has a general plan for the meals. She may know where every thing is, even if it has yet to be put away.

As CIO she always knows where people's shoes, phones, wallets and keys are, even if she does not take care of them or put them away, herself. She is the keeper and guide of the home, not the industrial worker, keeping a time card. She is there to find ways to make the home run smoothly and function at its best for the development of the family, not just as a janitor.



Members of the family should never get the idea that just because the woman is at home she should do all the work. That is not what she is there for. The work has to be done, it is true, and there are some things that only she can do. For example, I have a few rooms that I cannot employ anyone else to do because the items require my personal evaluation before putting them away or discarding them.



The homemaker's job is to guide the home and see that the things are accomplished so that the members of the family can function. It is not her job to pick up after everyone or wait hand and foot on everyone. Generally her energies should be reserved for those who are more helpless, such as babies and toddlers and those who are not well or physically able. The family is not there to be catered to constantly by the homemaker, but rather to aid her in fulfilling her noble purpose of guiding the home.


In helping her fulfill her role in guiding the home, it is important that the other members of the family, including husbands and sons, not create more burdens upon her. At work, they would would not be allowed to leave piles of personal posessions around in other people's work space, and so at home, their consciences should be stricken if they create more work for the keeper of the home. If they are not bed-ridden or severely handicapped, they can do something to aid her in her goal of guiding the home. They should be aware of her likes and dislikes. They should care about how she feels about the home.

Remember, that being a keeper of the home does not mean that she spoil everyone to the point that they become helpless, and create more distress for her and more messes around the house. Some homemakers can be stretched to the point that instead of enjoying their beautiful homes, they would rather be somewhere else, just because the members of the family are so inconsiderate that they expect her to do things that they physcially can do for themselves. They should not create unnecessary work for her.





Sometimes husbands and grown children get the idea that because they are out working somewhere else, bringing in a paycheck, that it constitutes a right to slack off and be pigs at home. In claiming to be completely relaxed, they drip food all over the house, leave their plates and cups wherever they last sat, and strew the newspaper all over the floor. They leave these messes just waiting for the homemaker to "do her job" and pick them all up. This is a completely ignorant misunderstanding of the work "guide" and "Keeper" of the home.

If a man wants to be the king-of-his-castle, he needs to help the keeper of the castle in her job, and not turn it into a slum. If a man wants to be proud of the home and the family and look at it as his own accomplishement as well as his wife's, he needs to be considerate. This does not mean he has to take his turn doing dishes. It does not mean he will be in charge of the laundry, the vacumming, the bed-making, or cleaning the toilet. It does not mean that the husband has to make his side of the bed when he gets up, or that he has to clean out his closet. What is means is that, in view of the fact that the women in the family will be doing the laundry, he doesn't make it more difficult for them by leaving his own laundry all over the place for them to hunt down and pick up. Bad habits such as leaving things out, will not be tolerated in the work place, so why should irresponsiblity reign so much at home? Asking everyone to be courteous of the homemaker does not mean the household will be ruled mechanically with an iron fist. It just means that the other members of the family love her enough to help her.

The working son or daughter who has spent the day away from home, knowing the burdens of washing the dishes, will be considerate and not use all the glasses in the shelf, and then, when it appears there are no more, go to the china cabinet and get out the better ones and use them all up. They will find innovative ways of diminishing the work load. The best way to be conscious of this, is to pretend they are a guest in someone else's house, or that they are in someone else's place of work.

For example, instead of getting out a drink and leaving the container on the surface in the kitchen, they will dispose of it themselves. Maybe they will scrape their own plate instead of leaving it all for the one who is cleaning up the dishes. Maybe they will put away the peanut butter jar instead of leaving it out after they have made a sandwich. They will rinse the sink after using it in the bathroom, so as not to disgust others who happen by afterwards, and not to spread bacteria. They will toss out their paper cup after brushing their teeth, rather than leaving it out. They will be conscious of the burden they are creating for the keeper of the home.

I married a man who for some reason liked to have a pen in every room, and a pen on every shelf, every surface, every table, every where. I could not figure this out for awhile, because I owned one pen, and I always knew where it was. I was from a large, poor family, and we did not have a lot of things. I had a pen that had a little lever on it that allowed it to drink up ink from a bottle. It was kept in a top drawer of a desk and it was never lent out. In those days (time changes so rapidly, "those days" were not so long ago), pens were personal because the way an owner wrote with them could wear down the nib in a distinctive way. Others would not be able to write as well with them.

My husband was from a family of only two children, and I was from a family of 9 people. Therefore when they got a package of pens, it mean they could all have several of them. He put them all over the house so he would not have to look for one when he needed it, and that is why I kept finding pens all over the house. Add to this the papers that usually went with them, the wooden toothpicks, the tie tacks, his favorite mints in cellophane, the mail, and a dozen other little "things," and my housekeeping was driving me crazy.

I finally put it all in a big sturdy basket and showed him where it was. From now on, everything would go in a wood box or that big brown basket. As I mentioned before, he only wanted me to be happy and would have been very sorrowful if he knew I was distressed about anything, so he happily complied to this. He now knows where to go to find his pens. I still have my one pen in the desk. (I think part of the problem was that there was a time you could only buy one pen, and it was quite costly. Now, you can buy them cheaper by the dozen in huge cellophane bags and they end up all over the house.)

Another thing I did was to show him the list of things I had to do: the ironing, the washing, shampooing the carpet, sorting the laundry, making beds, etc. I also showed him some of my favorite books of houses and house plans and interiors, and told him what I was trying to achieve, and how my mind rested so much better without too much clutter. In these pictures you rarely see a stinky old pair of tennis shoes and dirty socks in the middle of a room for someone to trip over.

While out on a shopping trip, we ducked into a nice shop that sold things for the home. He enjoyed going in there so much that it became customary for us to shop there. I pointed out that one of the reasons it was so pleasant to go there is because there was no unnecessary clutter that would spoil the atmosphere or the view. Our grown sons and daughters could use these lessons to help them understand how order in the home contributes to a feeling of well-being and calmness.

Students particularly are fond of coming into the home, slamming the door, dropping bags, going to the kitchen, eating, leaving a mess, dropping their clothes in a corner in their room, or even on the bed, and for weeks and weeks they live like this, while their mothers become more stretched out with their time and their nerves. The homemaker is the keeper and the guide of the home, and that does not mean she is just there to work.


We all have yard clutter, too, and paintings like this are good teachers for the family, as they can appreciate the serenity of the house. Yard tools and such can be housed properly, and people do not need to create more stress for the homemaker by expecting her to put them away.

In the end, the place we love the most will be the home, but the homemaker is not the only one responsible for its atmosphere. Other members have to be responsible to make it run smoothly. Remember, she probably does not get a paycheck and is trying to make a profit by doing most things herself. She doing this out of the goodness of her heart and the conviction that she is in charge of it.

To summarize and as a reminder of the main point: The woman is the guide of the home. She may not do all the work but she is responsible to see that someone does it and that somehow it gets done. The members of the family are responsible to help her achieve her goals of completion of tasks, cleanliness, orderliness, and beautifying. In doing so, they stand to benefit enormously. If they create more problems and stress for her, they will suffer from personal confusion and stress themselves.

Additonal comments: It is also a good idea to prepare the family to get along on their own, so that the woman, in a sense, works herself out of a job, or at least part of it. That way, when she is older, she is not still doing the same things, especially those things that require more hard labor.

She ought to, as she gets older, have trained the family well enough that she can put up her feet and read something, or do some needlework, while other members prepare dinner or do the washing up afterwards.

Unfortunately, the trend of our time is all too much the opposite. Instead of becoming more independent and taking care of themselves (not to be confused with the Biblical concept of inter-dependent), the husband and children retreat more into baby hood. This is partly the woman's fault if she spoils them.

There is nothing wrong with waiting on your husband or children if you want to, and if it gives you joy, but they should not demand it and they should know you are a human being with only two legs and two hands and do what they can to eliminate the burden of jobs in the home, especially if they are creating a lot of the mess.

When I was a teenager we were invited after church to visit a preacher's family. They had four daughters, all teenaged. When we got there we were rather taken aback at their attitude. Their mother asked them to help, and to wash some dishes that had been left, but they would not do it. She ended up serving us all by herself. Their kitchen was always piled high with dirty dishes and yet they had four able bodied girls.

I would have understood it more if the family had busy boys who were working or were not too adept at dish washing, or house keeping, but with four able-bodied girls, I felt ashamed for the mother and for them. They were not cooperating with their mother in preparing the meal and not helping at all with the washing up. I never understood it and was at the time quite apalled. I was only 16 at the time and would never have talked back to my mother the way they did theirs.

Little did I know that this was going to become a trend amongs modern families. It was like sliding downhill with no way to go back. Over time, more and more families operated this way.

The mother of this girl eventually got sick and died. I think the family should be prepared to take over the house if the mother does get sick.

I'm sure most women get headaches and have down days, and it seems to me they could recover more easily if the house was kept up and if they didn't have to wake up from illness to face a mountain of laundry, dishes, clutter, and unnecessary work--work that was caused because people didn't put away anything or becaue of the trash people left around.

I cannot help wondering if some of this downhill slide in homemaking has something to do with the great amount of institutional living that goes on. Whereas school children once had to help sweep the floors and clean the chalk board, now they merely study while janitors take care of it.

When home, they may think that it is the woman's "job" to do all this--including sweeping out the garage and growing a garden for food...and then heap more burdens on her by their careless habits. Jesus chastised the Jewish leaders for the burdens they put on people, saying that they would not lift a finger to ease their burdens, but put more burdens on them.

The woman at home is such a precious and unique thing in our society it would seem that men and children and the relatives would do what they could to make her temperament good by cleaning up after themselves and doing what extra they can, also. She can be a better companion to them, and she can be an encourager, if she isn't worn out. I remember my mother was always a listener and an encourager, but she made us kids do all the work!