Important to Relax

Today I am continuing be theme of making a house feel homey. All pictures on this post are my own and Pinterest-able.

The Lily, which I received many years ago on Mother's Day, has bloomed this year. We have discovered the solution to plants that won't bloom is to leave them in Mr.S.'s office where they are neglected!

Our gnarled old swing makes a pretty picture today...

...as a prop for pink Columbine...

...and an unused gate painted light green looks good propped against a shed.

These colors, light blue and coral, are an an unusual combination but look good together drying on the line.

I recently bought a new towel and picked this one because of the colors. Interesting how towels are being manufactured these days with designs on them.  Before this, housewives were adding fabric borders and trims to towels.  

Here is my utility wagon. Various people have attempted to abandon this wagon and have it hauled away. Each time, Mr. S. Has repaired it back to working use. It has even painted at various times in other colors.

Though quite green out here, it is overcast.

Sewing news: I am interested in the patterns we used in the 1960's and 70's. Here is a picture of one I found on the web but it was sold. During the mini-skirt era there were patterns for longer dresses. I am trying to sew front buttons and zippers these days, and will try to post instructions on how to convert the pattern to button or zip in the front of the garment. I have read that you add inches to the front and eliminate the seam allowance in the back. It seems easier to use a pattern already made the way you want it.

My thoughts today on the home are concerning the pressure and tension that wells up in the homemaker sometimes within minutes after waking up. On reason for that is, her work is right there at home. Her work is all around her. The bed she sleeps in must be made, the sheets laundered. The place she sits to gather her thoughts and sip tea is a place of work. She can't ever really feel completely relaxed because there is always some work to do. The homemaker's husband generally goes somewhere else for his work and comes home to rest or at least to his own work and his own interests.

                 "A man's work is from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."

I have several suggestions for how this can be alleviated.

First, for the ladies who are home alone, do not get into your work right away.  If you can, do your errands in town bright and early, and then enter your home with a renewed mind.

My mother was rather isolated in the homestead days but she went outside in the morning and walked around, sometimes taking her cup of coffee with her.  

When you sleep and wake in the workplace, you can lose your sense of balance. Going outside for a little while and then coming back home puts time lines in the day that distinguish work from leisure.

Some thoughtful men provide  their wives gazebos, parlours or rooms of their own where the women can withdraw from the sight of housekeeping for a little while each day.  19th century publications urged husbands to make sure their wives had time out away from home, and encouraged men to take them on regular outings.

We all wake up to work.

This can become discouraging but it can be alleviated by interspersing regular times of relaxation. 

While we love being home, we have to be careful not to allow the work to become all consuming. There are stages in life where things will be jumbled (moving, house repairs, illness, loss) and it will make you feel inadequate and stressed.   Homes are to be "kept" but they are places where real life is lived;  where we get out our supplies and pursue our interests. 

Discouragement can easily occur if you wake up thinking of all your work. 

Allow no one to intimidate or pressure you regarding your work. Homemaking has to come from the heart. It is a combination of inspiration, creativity and love. When someone pushes you, it robs you of personal desire and motivation. Remind others to give you the freedom to approach housekeeping the way that helps you the most. 

Call a friend and encourage each other to get ready for the day. ( A very patient and tolerating friend).

Plan rewards for yourself.

Put away money each day if you can.

Homemaking is self-employment and that requires totally different dynamics than the way the corporate workplace operates.  

What would motivate me?

I would like a newspaper with pleasant news, to have time to write a letter, to try a new recipe and a new sewing project, new dish towel and dish cloth ( hand made would be nice)  a daily reward of some kind (like a homemakers perk), a call from a friend, a visitor, someone to visit and drop off a basket of goodies, a kind word from someone, prayers. 

One friend told me she would like to get up in the morning and open the door to a surprise. No, not a car or anything like that, but a simple basket of plants or fruit, a container with something personal or some free groceries. 

Because this won't normally just happen, the housewife has to be self motivated and give herself her own rewards. Sometimes the reward is simply the satisfaction and pleasure of being in an orderly home.  

It is very good to be thoughtful of other homemakers, give them a call and some encouragement.

Freely Provided at Home

(Picture from Pinterest)

Hello Ladies,

This is a subject that has been mulling in my head for months. My main problem is getting it into an understandable script! I know what I mean, but a concept like freedom at home is difficult to explain in a culture inundated with the word "free".

In today's discussion I will use the word to mean the act of giving freely of your time and effort, and it may be more easily explained in a video.  

Women at home provide comfort, safety, social life, nutrition, clothing, teaching, and a myriad of things for their families. They are the family historians, the social directors, comforters, caregivers, in charge of food and clothing and housekeeping. They are the gift-givers and the family social security in many ways.

Things that were once exclusive to the home are now available elsewhere. No longer does a person expect to have a sweater knit by his mother, most meals at home at the table with family members, social life provided by close relatives, good teaching, the development of personal talents and skills and spiritual training from the home.

All the things a woman "used to do" , from grammar-teaching to vegetable gardening have been given a lot of competition in the commercial world.

Consider the things that are provided out of free will and love at home by the woman:

Meals

Clothing

Handmade Gifts

Laundry

First Aid and Comfort to the Sick

Housekeeping

Garden food

Teaching 

Manners training

Social life

Entertainment

Companionship 

Hospitality to her family and others

Soother of hurts and woes

Earning money by her own handmade products

Beds, breakfasts, overnight stays

Tour guide and driver

Aid to the poor, the lonely and the troubled at heart.

A worker in the local church, helping with women's and children's Bible classes, weddings, memorial services, and family reunions.

Compare how the commercial side of life has created many of the products and good works the woman at home does for her family. All the things in this list are produced by some one else, for sale. Who needs the women at home?  

Because everything she provides is provided by other sources, she (or others) may feel it is not necessary for her to be home. After all, what is the difference between buying these things and providing it all voluntarily out of the goodness of your heart at home? 

Here is why I call this "double jeopardy."

A woman who is content at home is bonding with her family by all that she does with them and for them. One day a child will fondly recall the special family meals and celebrations, the family inside-jokes, hand-knit sweaters, home-made clothes and quilts.

*If she gives in to the pressure to go to work outside the home, she gives up her time.

*In return for her time she is given money.

*Because she is no longer home providing goods and conveniences, she spends the money on things.

(I doubt she gives it all to a local charity or to the church. She has to now buy every good and service she used to provide with her own hands.)

*Because she has no time for homemaking, everything the family requires in the home has to be bought.

*These things are produced elsewhere by other people or robots. 

*These things do not bond her to her loved ones, they only create a detachment. There will never be the same fondness for a manufactured gift as a hand-made item.

*I call this double jeopardy because her burden is double when she goes to work.

*The woman leaves her home where everything she did was a free-will offering. She then is rewarded with wages, but she has to spend them on the way home from work to provide the comforts she once freely supplied when she was at home.

*Her work place and co-workers become her social life. She no longer has time for family life or church life or old friends.

*While in the home full time she was free to pursue interests, outdoor activities, etc. without regulation. At work, she is regulated.

*She loses the time with her loved ones. She loses the time formerly spent on thoughtful care of her family.  She loses the money she traded her time for. She loses her talents because she has no time to create and practice her skills.  She is robbed several times over.  It is hard to explain why this is so confusing, partly because most people do not see it as confusing, but as a simple exchange for wages. Real, natural life is not that complicated. It takes mankind to create this double jeopardy and make women think they are not trading anything or giving up anything. 

 What may seem simple to some people, is a tragedy to the thinking, spiritual, creative woman.What was once given freely from the heart is now purchased from someone else (or a robot) from money got by working for someone else (or maybe a robot).  How impersonal can this way of life be? 

 Compare this to the sweet days at home. Even in hard times, the home has richness, the family has bonding and loyalty.  The string that links the woman's heart to theirs is weakened when she leaves the home to work for someone else. 

This does not have to be so.  The world will go on beckoning to the women that they have something for her, but she needs to ask what the price will be in exchange. A whole day's work for a wage that is immediately spent on things that a day at home could provide, at less expense.

Ladies, this does not have to happen.  Just because there is work out there, and just because there are products and services, does not mean you have to give  up your home life for it. The world will not stop doing it, so there is no use trying to put a stop to the replacement of the woman's homemaking skills. What you can do is refuse to take part in it. Here are some ways to do this:

*Enjoy being home but enjoy being with your family when away from home.

*Have your own dinner theatre, your own poetry readings (make up your own poems) and fashion shows (sew your own clothing or do something creative with thrift store clothing)

*Make your own family videos to enjoy watching later. By the time you collect a few, it will take an entire evening to watch them. They can be instructional, entertaining, or family history.

*With your family's art work, create your own art gallery and invite your family and friends as guests, serving them your own healthfully prepared snacks.

*Make meals from natural products, with your own hands. Have your own family cooking shows.

*Make your own cards instead of buying commercial. Be happy to sit at home and write a letter to someone.

*Make up your own entertainment with your loved ones so that they do not crave the world's offerings. Most families are better comedians and actors, anyway. You can have a lot of deep belly laughs with your own family entertaining themselves.

*Write your own stories in little folded papers and have your own family book reviews.

*Become candidates for mayor, garden planning,  and country council in your own home. If you have older children, this is an absorbing activity and helps improve the place.

*Hang washed laundry on the line when possible. It gives clothes a fresh scent, and the sun sanitizes them. There is a lot more to this activity than putting clothes in the dryer, that is for sure. You just have to experience it yourself, as it is difficult to explain.

*Have your own county fair. We have done this before. Everyone prepares and entry, blue ribbons are hand made, and cash prizes are provided. 

*Go on walks. Rest more. Play more. Partake of the tea ceremony. 

*Plan trips within a reasonable distance and take a travel-diary with you. There are all kinds of ways of making it more than it seems.

*Go to antique stores and re-sale stores and look for things of interest that are not being made anymore.

*Learn new skills. I know a family whose children grew up learning something new each month and today those grown children can do just about anything or they will figure out how.

*Write your own songs and make up your own music. Guitars and fiddles are more portable than pianos, and everyone can have one, and play together.

 Learn to sing acapella and get used to singing in harmony.  What you hear constantly blasted in public places is so dismal. We can do better; much, much better. Even a child can make up a song and sing it better.  We can even write new hymns for our families to sing.

*The home is so varied, you can teach your children how to run a restaurant, a bakery, a shop or a ship. For a few years, we used the back porch as our shop, supplying it with items we no longer used, or new things we made. Our friends shopped there too.

*Pretend to be housekeepers and gardeners. Its a wonderful way to keep the place in shape.

*Hire your friends to provide services and products, or trade.

There you have it, ladies. You don't have to trade your time for wages and your wages for things, You don't have to give up being the lady of the house, residing gracefully at home.  

To those who say they need to go to work for "a backup plan" I say, God already gave us our backup plan in the family unit. Of course, there are those who want you to think there is no other back up plan than whatever they provide, because they want your time and your money.

 He has graciously provided the family as the ideal way of making a life and creating provision. The husband and father should be appreciated for all he does to provide for the home so that the wife can stay home and manage frugally.  When the man and woman are interdependent rather than independent. he provides and she protects his provision, fiercely guarding his earnings so that they don't go to the spoiler. 

I do not need to remind you of the many places in the Bible that show the importance of the women in the home. They provide the stability and reassurance the men need after working out there in that crazy world. One lady said, "The working world was making my husband and me crazy, so I quit work. I figured there was no sense in both of us being crazy." Her time was quickly filled up keeping the home. There is a lot more to it than people know and the only way to understand it all is to do it yourself.

As we are so accustomed to having everything on demand, it will be an adjustment to slow down and let the home be the center of life, but we can at least try one small thing mentioned here and see if it will not bring a sense of well-being.

Added:

This is not to say a woman has to make every stitch of the family clothing, grow crops for food or cook every meal. The point of the message was to avoid the control over her life by those people outside the home who think she should be regulated, with the sly offer of money as a reward; money which will never ever compensate for what she is giving up.

At home she is not robbed of her time, the family money, or things. Once she leaves, she gains nothing except the "opportunity" to qualify for a larger mortgage.

Homemaking Tips From Hotel and Resort Training

                                             (photo: The Plaza Hotel and Resort)

If you have cleaned house for more than a few years, it is sometimes nice if you can get a little inspiration from other places - maybe a favorite shop, or historical home, a vacation spot, or the home of a friend.  While your home may not look  like a fancy resort, it does have some of the qualities of hotels and resorts, especially if you are trying to keep it clean, comfortable and an enjoyable place to live. 

  Like many other ladies, i am expecting company this season and am trying to notice things a guest may see. Often in a home, you can get used to something and not really "see" it, but watching these  Jani King hotel training videos brings out  things about housekeeping I had not noticed before. There are several of these videos that go in to more detail on how to clean particular areas of the room.

There are of course, big differences in cleaning a home and cleaning hotel rooms, yet there are some things we can learn from them, just as there are homey touches the hotels and resorts get from the home. 

 These people who work in hotels and resorts are very thorough in their routines and have time limits.  They also clean the same rooms nearly every day, which would not be necessary in the home, since there are not different guests each day.  However, the techniques of cleaning from the front door, clockwise around the room, and from celing down to the baseboards, is a good idea. 

 In the home, as opposed to the hotel room, this would not have to be done daily. The tips for cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms are worthwhile, too.  They also show how to use cleaning cloths which are designed to pick up things from the floor or a sink and cabinet top that work better than traditional brooms and cleaning cloths on modern surfaces.

As you know, home life is not all about cleaning, rather, about many other things that make your day very full.  People may not feel the homemaker is "working" according to outside standards, but as the guardian and guide of the home, she is occupied full time. 

There is always the question that is asked many times: "What am I supposed to do all day at home?"  Besides food preparation and clean-up and housekeeping, there is a lot that goes in to making a house a home. The house may be clean but not homey, and the home has to feel inviting, especially to the family. While the hotel scene of the picture, above, is visually pleasing, a real home has a mix of old and new, and personal things. The idea is to arrange it in a way to suit the needs of your family.  

Redeeming the Time

Autumn Roses 

by Jean-Baptiste Robie, Belgium  1821-1910

Sometimes half a day or more is lost doing things that have nothing to do with home keeping. When you find your day slipping away and things that you strongly desire to do, not done, should you abandon all hope and just read a book, or is it possible to rescue the day in some way?  Over the years I've known some older homemakers who have given me some useful ideas on how to redeem the time.

Tea Time

by Janet Kruskamp

Make tea. I have laughed at this expression in the past, because it always came at a time when someone was trying to get out of a tight spot. Whether it was decision-making or working out some kind of furniture arrangement, stopping for tea was the immediate reaction when progress was at a stand still. I now see it as a good delay tactic that will allow the mind that is whirling with ideas or problems, to settle down and think more logically. This is a good time to survey the situation and simplify your ideas. 

Front Porch

by Janet Kruskamp

Write a list. This, almost more than anything, creates order in the mind and sets you on a path to success. List things you would dearly love to do, and then list the steps from beginning to end, that will help you accomplish this.  Listing is part of planning, and planning is half the job done.

Take time to breathe deeply and to pray.  One way to relieve stress is to stand up and breathe in slowly through the nose to the count of 10, and then puff your breath out through the mouth, slowly, to the count of ten. After doing this several times, you'll be a lot more relaxed and able to make plans to catch up with your work. Most people do not breathe properly and it has an effect on the mind's ability to handle stress. Go for a walk when you need some time to express your thoughts, your plans and the desires of your heart. His ears are open to the prayers of those who follow him. (I Peter 3:12)

Cottage by the Sea

by Janet Kruskamp

Dress up a little. Even if your day is shot, taking care of your appearance can give you a fresh new start, especially on days when the weather has driven you for cover inside the house. It can seem confining, but if you will dress up and take care of yourself first, you might redeem a little lost time. Dressing up gives your mind the message that you are about to do something important, and that you are ready for work.

Work a little faster than usual, if you have lost part of your time.  When you feel you have "all day", it is easy to slip into slow habits of dwaddling while folding things or washing dishes, preparing meals, but if you need to get caught up after having lost your morning, working a little faster can help redeem the time.

credit: HGTV

Do an extra good job instead of just "getting by".  Looking at a clean, streamlined kitchen or laundry room, seeing a sparkling bright bathroom, walking on well-swept floors and having things in order can also lift the heart and give you optimism and hope. A house that is not in order can cause discouragement, and discouragement can cause you to give up and then the house will slide further into disarray. The key to overcoming discouragement is to get something in order, even if it is a corner of the house or a part of the kitchen. When a small part is in order, you'll be stimulated to finish the job.

Credit: HGTV

Surround yourself with loveliness. Sometimes we get so practical we forget to add the soft, pretty things in homemaking that give the heart a lift.  After redeeming your day, consider planning and creating  a part of a room just for you; in a sense, a "parlor" where you have your favorite comforts, colors, style and design.  Most families have adequate cast-offs and old pieces of furniture that could be painted and re-covered for this purpose. This can be a welcome retreat when you need to collect your thoughts and get focused again on your home.

Do not pay any attention to dark skies.  There is no use in waiting for the sun to shine. Make your own sun shine by being the light of the home. You are the light of the home when you care for it and make it a lovely place.  Christians believe that Christ is the unseen guest in every home, and knowing how he is high and lifted up and holy, motivates us to keep house to His glory.  The creation is beautiful, and there are many things we can do in the home to imitate the creation.  When there are dark skies, create beauty in the house and think of brighter days. 

Prepare for Guests. Anticipating guests is very motivating if you have lost half your day. Most people experience more happiness when serving others through hospitality than when they are invited out.  Telling yourself you will plan to entertain a friend after you catch up with housekeeping, will help you get it done with more purpose and a better attitude. Even if it does not work out for someone to visit, your house will be in "viewer" shape and you'll be a lot more uplifted because of it.

credit: HGTV

Everyone should help . All members of the family should aid in getting the home in order. Everyone should rescue their own belongings from around the house and do their best to lighten the burden for the homemaker. They should all pitch in and try to get the house in order, especially if it is a great concern to the lady of the house. It is a good way to show honor and respect to the woman of the house.  When the housework has been neglected and the day is almost gone, the whole family can help gain back that time by pitching in and making it a place that they can be proud of.

Tour your home.  It is always enjoyable to walk through your home as though you were a stranger, and even more exciting to take your children through the house and show them where everything has been put, what has been cleaned, why things are arranged this way, and what sort of meaning you have put in the home.  You know how energizing it can be to go to a show-home where a group of new homes are open to the public for the purpose of selling them. Often these homes are professionally staged to put them in their most appealing light. Note the things you like about this kind of experience: the space, the light, the comforts, the orderliness, the feeling of warmth and happiness, etc. Do the same thing for your own home. Even if your day is nearly gone, there is still something that can be done before you retire for the night, and think of how delightful it will be to get up in the morning in a beautiful home.

Do one extra thing for yourself that you have been wanting to do when you are finished catching up with housework. Be thinking of a sewing project or maybe just a fireplace mantel arrangement you want to make while you are working. Get your housework out of the way as quickly and efficiently as possible so that you can work on the extra things you love. It is the way you reward yourself when a job is completed.

credit: HGTV

Either as a motivator or a reward, having something nice to read or look at.  Women used to go to a great effort to make picture books from clippings, post cards, calendars, photographs and other things, to place on the coffee  table for a time when they needed to be cheered up.  I like a favorite magazine, and sometimes just the picture on the cover will make me feel on top of the world.

If you'll choose one or more of these things to help motivate you to redeem lost time, you will find you have not only some time left over to pursue special interests, but you will increase your mental and physical energy.

To view or buy any of the beautiful artwork posted on this blog, please go to www.allposters.com and type in the name of the painting.

The Sacredness of Home

Lady in Pink

by Alfred Leopold Stevens,  1823-1906, Belgium and France

from allposters.

     Although I am not linking up to Pink Saturday, I wanted to share something pink here today. This is a wooden sign that came from the dollar store, which I painted pink with some craft paints.  It could be made from cardstock, too, and hung with wired ribbon in a pleasing spot in your home.  Lillibeth has written a pertinent post on pink here. You can click the "thank you" button on her blog to respond, since she does not have comments.

     Happiness at home is largely dependent upon the belief that the home and family is a sacred institution established by God in the beginning when he created human beings. That belief will elevate the importance of the home and its functions, so that the homemaker can regulate the atmosphere. It is her duty to guard the home (Titus 2, verses 2-5), and in doing so, she must keep out the things that run down the purpose of the home and the members of the family.  She must not allow sardonic, sarcastic and flippant remarks from those who would trivialize the home.  It is not funny to characterize the parents as ignorant old fogeys who are stuck in the dark ages, and it is not right to ridicule their efforts to homeschool their children. 

    The home is serious business, and homemakers are accountable to God for the way they conduct the matters of the house.  They should not brook mocking comments or complaints about housework.  They can either ignore the remarks or they can call people to task for them, whichever they think their nerves can handle.

     Home is a blessed place, also, and everyone should be grateful to be there. It is not just a stop-over while on the way to do "something else" or something better. Being happy at home is the "ultimate result of all ambition."(Samuel Johnson, author of the 19th century English Dictionary.)  

     Demoralization is a tool of the devil, used to distract people from whatever is good, pure and lovely (Philippians 4:8). It is part of cynicism and skepticism, which I have written about before, and as such, should not be an invited guest in the home.  Teach your children well: when they make flippant remarks that devaluate the importance of the home, the homemaker, the parents, the family or make fun of well-loved traditions and beautiful sentiments, bring it to their attention that their sarcasm is helping to tear down the foundations that are giving them the best start in life.

     Demoralization is an effort to discourage someone and make them feel worthless.  The enemies of freedom know that the easiest way to defeat a country is to first demoralize them. A demoralized person is not capable of assimilating facts or distinguishing between truth and lies, no matter how much evidence he has before him.  It is important therefore, to understand the deep dangers of such a tactic and not ignore it when it enters the home. It should be disciplined as though it were a naughty child.

     Home is a place that is not dictated by the world's celebrations and observations. You can make any day a special day by declaring it so. I agree with this lass here, who has a special holiday marked on her calender to celebrate something lovely. In my home, I make up whatever day I want it to be. Today there were some violets peeking up from the root of a tree, and, remembering Peter Marshall's statement in his sermon "Keepers of the Springs," about the "the wistful fragrance of violets, "  I declared today to be the Wistful Day of Violets and am contendedly looking at some of them in an orphan tea cup saucer with a violet pattern.

     Another blog that is a delight is  this one, where a girl after my own heart makes costumes and wears them to historic house museums to get a sense of what it must have felt like to live there and use the old telephone and the old rocking chair and look through the windows onto the gardens.  I've done things on a smaller scale in my own home, dressing up and serving tea to just my little ones and enjoying every minute of it.

   There are those who think that our machinery (washers, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners) make housework so fast and easy that we need not stay home all day. To that I would like to say that if you have so much free time at home due to all this wonderful machinery, it does not mean that you should go out to seek work outside the home, or get a job for wages.  It is marvelous to have the work done in half the time it was done before the convenience of machinery, but homemaking is more than house cleaning. It is the art of putting an atmosphere into the home. The things these two girls have done on the links I've included, put that kind of love and joy into home living.

    If there is so much time left over after all these machines apparently do your work for you, you can create useful things by sewing, or knitting, your you can show hospitality.  If you have so much free time, due to machinery doing your work for you, you can do a lot more things yourself instead of having other people do it:  cook from natural ingredients, sew your own curtains, grow your own garden and educate your own children,

     Some people get the idea that women should be home only to do housework, but that is not true. A real homemaker pays attention to more than just the housework that needs to be done. She pays attention to beauty and comfort, as well as attitudes.

     The quality of refinement should be cultivated in home life. This is simply a type of respect. Helen Andelin elaborated on it in one of her books for women, saying that a refined person is respectful of other people who may put a high value on manners or certain rituals that they feel are important. Refinement demands that we not make rude remarks about a homemaker's insistance on good manners, her enjoyment of taking tea, or even her choice of decor and colors.  Refined people will respect the home, even if they do not have the same likes and dislikes in choices of style.

      A refined person will not destroy another's enthusiasm or enjoyment of things like a cup of tea in a favorite old-fashioned tea cup, or dressing up for different occasions, or enjoying classical music.  It is tempting to join outsiders in derisive laughter aimed at people who like to wear hats and dresses or take walks in the country, but refinement calls us to refrain from such uncivilized mocking. The home is sometimes the point of ridicule, but those who are refined will not indulge in such attacks.

     When you allow the home, marriage, the training of children, your tastes in home management and arrangement, and other aspects of home living to be insulted, you are allowing people to insult their Maker, who created the first home.

     When the home is regarded as sacred, certain words will not escape the lips of the family members, and outsiders will tread more carefully in regard to the home.  Those who dwell in it will be glad that it is protected from the stresses and strains of the wild, sleepless and noisy world.

     I have a new category called "Short Stern Lectures." To print this short stern lecture, go here.

Occupy the Home

Cozy Country Night

by T.C. Chiu

The current trend to descend on a city park and "occupy" has brought forth some lively conversation and ideas from other homemakers. Andrea at   Rightthinker  has written a post showing the many things that need to be done in order to occupy your home and get it in livable order.  Lillibeth at The Pleasant Times has posted something about occupying, also.   My post today is about the advantages  of being home and minding your own business.   (1st Thessalonians 4:11) In order to control the home and the housework, it is important to occupy and own it, even the messes.

Looking  at your home as a gift from God, and showing your appreciation by making it clean, neat and beautiful, can help you look at it as a unique place, worthy of care and creativity.

Regard your home as a free-will offering to the Lord and to others, and a testimony of your gratitude for having a place to live. As such, treat it with enough respect to keep it orderly.

Each day, besides daily activities such as meals, washing dishes, laundry, or picking up clutter, include the cleaning of one other room in a more thorough way. Closets and hallways and bookshelves can count as separate rooms and take separate days.    A kitchen can be divided into different rooms, making the refrigerator a room to be cleaned when it is time to clean an extra room. 

Smokeyhill Valley

by T.C. Chiu

When a room has been cleaned and put in order, move on to another room, but remember to "maintain" the previous room by routinely going through it and correcting anything that is amiss. As you add more clean rooms, routinely go through the other clean rooms and tidy them up. This is what I call maintenance, because it does not require completely cleaning or de-cluttering, or any deep-cleaning.  It just means restoring the room to its best.

Since Christian women are told in the scriptures to be keepers at home, they will need to have the time and the tools to do this.  More time can be found in a day if you can possibly stay home without too many outside interruptions.

In having time to be home and keep it up to a high standard, you refute the nonsense of those who say that a home can be cleaned on a weekend, and that therefore, a woman is not needed there all week. The fact is, even when a house is clean, a woman needs to be in it, paying attention to needed seasonal changes, and making it a daily shelter for its people. If there is no actual work to be done, the homemaker can develop new skills that will help her make it a better place. Making new curtains or re-covering a couch, or learning to knit and sew and cook, are things worth staying home for.

If we do not occupy our homes by cleaning them and making them orderly, they will be occupied by other things like filth and odor and clutter. Sometimes people do not know the risk they take when they neglect things that are their own responsibility. If they knew that there might be some chance of losing their home through neglect, it might increase their motivation to take care of it. There are several parables in the Bible that show the difference between someone who invests time wisely, and the unfaithful servant who is not diligent. These lessons can give a reasonable sense of urgency in our own realm of homemaking.

Lighthouse Dawn

by T.C. Chiu

A cheerful heart will make the task of keeping house pleasant. When you understand that messes are part of living at home, and that cleaning them up is the reason you are there, you can approach them as though they were a matter of fact.  When you realize this is what you are home for, you can approach it as part of your responsibility, rather than as an inconvenience.

Peonies

by T.C. Chiu

There is more to housekeeping that cleaning up a mess. There is more to homemaking than just being in the house, and there is more to child care than feeding and caring for a child. All these duties have to be approached with a thoughtful and spiritual attitude, as an offering to the Lord, and an act of charity and sacrifice to the people within your care. Each member of your family has a soul, and that soul can be affected in a great way by your approach to homemaking.  Neatness is not enough. The home must have an atmosphere of beauty and peace, which is more easily acquired by a homemaker who is actually home, occupying her own territory.

"...study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you..."

1st Thessalonians 4, verse 11

To print this post, go here http://www.printfriendly.com/print/v2?url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomeliving.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F10%2Foccupy-home.html

Be sure to look at Lillibeth's witty post on the subject here: http://thepleasanttimes.blogspot.com/2011/10/occupy-home.html

and Andrea's post here http://andreamomm.blogspot.com/2011/10/occupy-your-home-mess-vs-filth.html

Living Without Unnecessary Stress

Berry Picking

by Franz Leopold Kawalski, German 1856-1932

A homemaker should be free to experience the serenity of her home, and enjoy the work of her own hands. In order to accomplish this, she will have to close some of the doors to the world's demands and stresses. It is easy to turn a deaf ear to bad news and upsetting reports from without, but it is sometimes not so easy to pinpoint unnecessary stress right under the roof.  Outside-world stress is something the average person has no control over, but a homemaker has it within her power to control, reduce or eliminate some of the causes of stress within the home. In this post, I will present some possible sources of stress and practical ways to live without it.

A Cottage Garden

by Alfred de Breanski

Put an end to pressure from other people.  There are those who believe that a homemaker has endless hours of free time and is therefore obligated to take on duties, cares and worries that are not hers and have nothing to do with her immediate duties at home. In an attempt to show Christian compassion, a woman may involve herself in taking on other people's responsibilities to make their burdens a little lighter, not realizing how much time and energy it will take from her, physically, nor how much it may rob her own family of her attention. 

 It is not good to do for others the things that you have never gotten around to doing for your own family. Charity begins at home, and your family is your first practice case in showing charity, benevolence, generosity, service and ministry.

 Sometimes, God-fearing women can be drawn into troubles that are not theirs, and, wanting to help, become neglectful of their own flesh and blood.  If you feel you are overwhelmed, under some kind of stress, are perpetually behind in the things you want to do, or are experiencing pressure of any kind, this is one thing you can legitimately eliminate, especially if you have your own house and family to look after. 

If you have a strong urge to involve yourself in helping someone by looking after their children, cleaning their house, or running errands for them, have a look first, at your own situation:

• Is your own laundry and ironing completely caught up?
• Do you have unfinished mending and sewing?
• Are your meals planned for the day, complete with necessary groceries?
• Is your kitchen clean and available for meal preparation?
• In general, are  you satisfied with  the condition of your house (i.e. your homemaking efforts, involving clean, orderly rooms--not perfect, but acceptable to you.)
• Have you caught up on your correspondence?
• Do you have regular rest time and leisure time?  This could be jeopardized if it is used to engage in laborious tasks for people who have no interest in your home, or who are able bodied and can look after themselves, have relatives nearby, or who maybe even have more money than you do and could perhaps buy more conveniences which would help cope with the load of their own housekeeping.

If you have answered any of these questions with "no," you may be inviting unnecessary stress into your life by offering to help people who can help themselves, or by taking on other people's problems. There may be stages of life later on when you do not have as much responsibility in your own home,  when you can take on other things,  but if you are experiencing stress, this is one area that can be eliminated, if only temporarily. There is nothing offensive about informing people politely that you need to rest, or that you are guarding your health and your time and will have to decline an invitation or a volunteer job.

Consider carefully the amount of things you do outside the home that may be adding to your stress and find ways to accommodate these needs in the home. Many activities for children can be done at home, and even exercise classes can be held at home by using a video and some simple equipment. If you have an undo amount of stress on you, make your outings only pleasurable and relaxing, rather than obligatory.

Gardening

by Gabriel Gilbert

Teach your family to be sympathetic with the necessity of eliminating unnecessary stress.  There will always be stress, but it is the unnecessary stress that can be prevented.  The homemaker's goals should also be the family's goals. One of the purposes of training children is to make it possible for them to automatically have good habits, good manners and work hard, without the constant prompting of the parents.  When that is achieved, true training has taken place. 

Family members should desire the comfort and happiness of the lady of the house; the homemaker, and should aim to ease her burdens, not heap more on her. They should learn to think the way she thinks, and to care about keeping the house and creating the atmosphere she likes.  Husbands should love their wives and want them to be happy. They are to live sacrifically for their wives, and keeping stress down, is a small sacrifice to make, to have a happy woman in the home. 

When good teaching is wrought into the personalities of the family members, the stress of rudeness, sloppiness and laziness can be eliminated, and the homemaker can use her time and energy and mental strength to tackle other things that must be done.

When it is necessary to take time away from real home making and home living to repeat and teach things over and over, it creates more stress. If the family is not cooperating with your goals to be orderly and clean and efficient and creative in the home, they need to be reminded that these goals are also theirs, for, as the old saying goes, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy."

Be silent when challenged to answer back to unnecessary arguing, criticism or long, time-wasting explanations.  Sometimes children want detailed descriptions of work related things that take up the homemaker's time, and put more stress on her. Explain that you are currently trying to preserve your strength and get more out of your day, and that you have to be calm, cool and collected, and that they may help you be that way and become the woman God wants you to be, by co-operating, figuring out how best to do what they are responsible for, and how to lift the burdens of the homemaker by exhibiting good habits and manners.

A good post to read concerning the attitude of children in the home, is called "A Child's World," which yields many truths and sayings that were practiced for generations before us.

  A wife and mother may appear to be "easy-going," yet have a lot of stress put on her that tries her good-naturedness and makes her hard to live with. Before children judge their mother's temperament, they should ask if they are doing all they can to eliminate unnecessary stress in her life: remember the instructions that she gave them and do their very best to complete the tasks, above and beyond what is required. If they see something that needs to be done, do not wait to be told to do it, but try to understand what their mother needs for them to do and to be like. This is called "responsibility" and it means that a person can do what is right without being told, and without expecting rewards. Children must learn to be mature, and to relieve their mother of stress.

The Homestead

by Frederick William Witherington

Experience some kind of soothing scenery every day, even if you have to go somewhere else and look afar off.  Scenic drives were once customs of families, when they taught their children how to look at nature and how to appreciate the creation. If it is not possible to go somewhere, at least have a book of scenery that is pleasant to see, or spend a few moments in a scrapbook hobby of collecting scenic pictures and preserving them in a book.  The old folks used to spend time making clippings from magazines and papers, saving the special quips and quotes and scenes and preserving them in day-books. It was a relaxing hobby that brought a lot of enjoyment and kept cares and worries away. Create your own scene outside a window, with a birdbath, a garden, a trellis, or other things, and create a window seat by placing a seating area next to the window where you can look out.  Sometimes looking out at a distance, or looking up at the stars at night, can alleviate stress.

Susan Rios' latest painting: "Autumn Afternoon"

Create at least one room in the house that is free of clutter and the belongings of family members; belongings such as books, games, toys, clothes, writing materials, etc. that should be in another place. I would suggest that this be the front room, living room, parlour, lounge room, or whatever room you see first upon entering your home.  If it is kept in the standard the homemaker really desires, looking at it can do a lot to eliminate the stress she may be enduring from other clutter and unfinished jobs in other rooms.  If she has at least one room that is always clean and nice, she may feel less daunted at other things she is not happy with in the house, and derive from the beautiful sight of one clean room, the inspiration to create more like it.

Make this a room that has a few "impractical delights" and accessories that bring a smile to the face and a leap to the heart because of their beauty or sentimental value or just because you like them. Mentally record the colors or other effects in your home that seem to lower your stress level and make you feel calm and happy.

In the Garden

by Henry John Yeend King

Take care of your appearance and dress your best, before anything else.  This is a way to get into a day slowly. Instead of confronting the day with noise and commotion, the homemaker should take some time to make herself presentable to God, to her family, and to strangers outside of her home. Her appearance says a lot about her feelings and beliefs about life, and feeds back into her mind a message of beauty and order.

 It is harder to feel female if you do not dress like a lady. It does not require that you wear formal clothing. I have shown some examples of cotton dresses women can wear at home, but if you do not sew, it is possible to get modest skirts and dresses from other sources, that are suitable for wearing daily at home. You can dress up and not be formal, and you can feel so much better and less stressed. Take note of the colors and styles that make you feel the least stressed, and develop a way of dressing that gives you serenity.

Just Relaxing

by Susan Rios

Eliminate noise and bad news reports if you are under too much stress.  Try a media "fast" and see if there is less stress for you. Radio talk shows, television investigative reports and web news can be a great source of stress if it is accumulated into the mind for a long time, leaving a feeling of unrest and unsolved problems--things which an already stressed person does not need to take on.   Life goes on, even without the news, and although it is impossible to avoid all of it, it is possible to quit deliberately tuning in to it.  Christian women need to be listening to and reading the Good News, not the bad news.  

The Old Window Seat

by George Runway

When necessary, take to your bed, a common practice of days gone by.  Mrs. Minerva, of "The English Home" magazine, writer of an etiquette column, states that when a woman gets too overwhelmed with stress, she should, as our grandmothers did, take to her bed. Get a pile of books and magazines to relax with, and go to bed until you feel sufficiently rested and re-energized.  Put some snacks in the refrigerator for anyone who may need to eat and drink, and find some time somewhere between the hours of one o'clock and five o'clock for rest and re-creation.

Tea Leaves

by William McGregor Paxton , American1869-1941

Take tea every day at three and you will be pleasantly amazed at how much better you feel if you have been under stress. These days there is a marvellous array of specially blended calming herbal teas, and you can add a treat of sliced fruit and cheese, raw vegetable sticks and crackers. Keep a tray all ready, with a tea cup, napkin and a plate for your treats. If you make a ritual of this, you might reduce your stress level quite a bit. Find a feel-good publication and read it while you have some quiet time. Even during tremendous upheaval in some countries during past centuries, tea was taken, to alleviate stress and bring some calmness to daily life.
 

painting by Lynn Pitard

 
Dwell on a small amount of Bible scripture throughout the day, using it to replace fear and gloom, burdens and stress. Learn to sing hymns so that they come to your mind easily, without a book, and so that you may sing them as you work in your house, as you walk outside, and as you journey to and fro about your daily activities. It might not seem effective at first, but after thirty days of  this, you may see a noticeable reduction in your feelings of distress.

Use  the centuries old practice of prayer, a fan and a rocking chair when you cannot shake off stress. The activity of rocking is sometimes helpful, and if you have a rocker on a front porch where you can go outside to rest and pray, it is even better. Women of old were known for this passtime, and there must have been something good about it, for it calmed many a troubled heart and eased distress.
 
Do some small creative thing daily, or continue a creative project that you enjoy. It should be something that is purely relaxing and not put you under stress to complete. Do it for the pure enjoyment of it, not for the practicality or usefulness of it. Whether it is making a gift for someone else, or just learning how to do something new, do it for a creative outlet and for stress relief.

Symphony in Green

 Alfred Stevens

1823-1906, Belgian

Avoid it, pass by it, and turn from it. (Proverbs 4:15)  Test out the stress you feel at home and in public, and avoid the things that seem to intensify it, if you are under extreme duress. Avoid the disrespectful and anything that does not build up. Avoid people who do nothing but tear down or bully others. You'll notice your stress will ease off, for the Bible also says, "Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease." Proverbs 22:10

Make allies of your immediate family and they will be able to help you avoid stress by looking ahead and forsee stress in the form of troublesome people or situations. They can warn and help and waylay social  problems as well as physical problems and household stress, and protect you from unnecessary stress, as they become aware of the causes.

Anticipate stress by learning from bad experiences and avoiding being in the same situations again. 

Do things early, rather than late.  If you have something coming up on Thursday that needs to be done, start preparing for it a few days early, so that the stress will not mount at the deadline.  Some people do not work well unless they are under stress, but others must curb the stress levels so that they do not become immobilized or panic.  Stress tends to accumulate toward the end of the day or near the time when something must be done. You can alleviate it by being prepared early.

These are not the only ways to remove extra stress on a homemaker's life. I have not mentioned things like taking on jobs to make money, that might be adding to stress.  The only thing a homemaker is obligated to do is take care of her own family. If she will do this and leave the earning of the living to her husband, she can alleviate the feeling of being overwhelmed. Not having a provider in the family is another matter, but those who have able-bodied husbands, ought to leave the bread-winning to the men and take care of the house themselves. When a homemaker takes on burdens that are not hers, she quickly fails in the responsibilities that are hers, as her tiredness and stress will overtake her.  There is nothing wrong with making money, but it should not create so much stress that the homemaker cannot get dressed in the morning or function during the day.
 

 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  

Matthew 11:28-30

If a homemaker will concentrate on only doing what our Lord has set forth for her to do: be a wife, mother and a keeper at home, and abandon the pressures of this world to do other things, she will find that the burden is light. There is nothing wrong with earning money, but it should never be at the expense of losing control of your own home and your own domain, which is your own family.

To reduce stress, take control of the things you can, and let go of the things you cannot do anything about. A woman at home should not be harried, discouraged, uncertain, or nervous. She should instead be calm and confident, knowing that she where she matters the most and is needed the most--to guide her home and her household.

I hope you will also read "The Importance of Rest"


To print this article, click on the post title first. Highlight the web address that comes up in the i.e. space or whatever you are using, at the top of the screen. Then go here http://www.printfriendly.com/ and paste it in the url space. It will come up as a printable page.

Or, go here
 http://www.printfriendly.com/print/v2?url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomeliving.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F09%2Fliving-without-unnecessary-stress.html  and click print.

These three posts from another blogger reinforce the theme of reducing stress in your life:


http://andreamomm.blogspot.com/2011/07/parent-or-professional-entertainment.html
http://andreamomm.blogspot.com/2011/09/are-you-ambassador-for-christian.html

http://andreamomm.blogspot.com/2011/09/bombarding-befuddling-and-bewildering.html

See also my post, "The Importance of Rest."