Thursday, October 12, 2006

Free to be Home


While the world impresses women with words of liberation and freedom, women at home are finding that true freedom is the freedom to be at home, to guard it, to keep it, to manage it, and to enjoy it. Feminists for years have taught their own version of slavery verses freedom. Slavery, they said, was being at home, and freedom was having a career. What the younger generation of women are finding, is that this was a totally false definition.What was supposed to be "freedom," became oppression. Women went in to debt and became a slave to the workplace with its regulatory life.

The wonder of such promises of freedom is that they actually force women to work. Many women say that although they wish to be home being a full time manager of the home and family, they do not feel they have a choice. So much for the elevated choice that feminism promised. Many women feel they have no choice but to work outside the home for a wage. Very few are working because they absolutely love dropping their children off at daycare, putting in long hours, going home to a dark house, scrambling to get the laundry and dinner, or paying all the expenses of going to work. Most women would like to have the freedom to be home and not be tied down to a job.

The feminists were thinking more about their likes and dislikes, then about their duties and responsibilities and the need for them in the home. Believing that being at home would stifle them or give them less economic advantage in their lives, many women went to work, only to find themselves slaves to time schedules and locations. They had no time for leisurely breakfasts with their families, and ended up shuffling everyone off to various institutions, and themselves off to a factory or an office or to work for the highway department managing traffic during road construction.

Many of us knew our grandmothers and great grandmothers and had knowledge of great-great grandmothers. They were not straining to go out and work. They did not demand to be "liberated" from their cozy homes. They didn't want to leave their children. They were not complaining that men had more freedom than they did. The men, actually, had a hard role to play because before this modern time with all the conveniences, many things had to be done without equipment and without electronics. The men worked literally by the sweat of their brow.

The wives and daughters and mothers who loved them, created a home base for them and helped them to be good providers by being homemakers. The only way that the powers-that-be could get the women of the next generations to reject the role of homemaking was to paint a bad picture of it. They were told by people like Betty F. (I never could spell that last name, and isn't it eerie how much it sounds like "freedom"?), that women were just assigned to drudgery jobs in dark houses and had no freedom and no status and they were required, unfairly to have children.

They were told that they shouldn't "have" to stay home and should be given a "choice," but that choice was usually a choice between different colleges and careers, not a choice between providing and home-keeping. The next generation of girls grew up in schools which regularly taught them to do something else, and played down the important role of homemakers, wives, and mothers.

Working outside the home was presented as freedom, while home living was presented as slavery. Now, most women who write in and say they are working, say that they feel that they have no choice. So, what happened that the great "choice" that they were given through education and career became a harsh taskmaster that they could not escape? The workplace became a place where women felt they had to go. They felt they had no choice in the matter. Many women say that they have no choice. Once they begin working, they cannot get out of it easily. It is very demanding and consuming. So much for the choice that the feminist leaders gave them. Now if you even suggest that you would like to go home full time, you are met with ridicule.

Relationships at work were second best to their own families, but they believed they were doing the right thing. They soon found that to join a company and work daily, was greater slavery and confinement, than to be at home seeing to the needs of a family. At least they were related to their family, and loved them.

It is easy to see, by looking over the many homemaking blogs, that many young women are not buying into the feminist doctrine that being home is being nowhere. They know they are somewhere important and that no one can take their place, emotionally, in the hearts of their families.

Even those without children, have a special feeling for the house they live in, puttering and cleaning and decorating, and making it the best atmosphere they could possibly want. She gets to choose the color of the drapes and the kind of furniture, and the meals that will be served, and usually only has to negotiate with one person, her husband. At work, she may have to go through many departments to get something done. At home, it is her decision and her hands that change things.

A homemaker can go when she wants, and stay when she wants. She is not confined to the perimeters of her house all the time. She can shop or have friends over, and even help her own husband in his work, if she wants to. At work, she will be let out of the building perhaps for 10 minutes twice a day and half an hour for lunch. She cannot talk to her loved ones any time she wants to. She will be restricted in many ways at work, that she is not, at home.

If she chooses to spend the day outside gardening, the homemaker can do so, and does not need permission from anyone. This is her domain, and she is the manager. At work, not everyone gets to be at the top of their ladder, but at home, the homemaker is in charge of almost everything to do with managing the home.

While feminists loudly proclaimed liberation to women, they liberated them right into slavery. They had to get up, often not fully rested, and head off to work in all kinds of weather, and sometimes when they weren't really feeling well or had a headache. They stayed there til the bell rang for quitting time, and then headed home. By the time they got home they didn't want to make any decisions or think about anything. They then got up the next day and started the whole thing all over again.

The jobs "at the top" were few, even for the men, and most of the women went to work in very non-glamorous jobs. Home can be as uplifting and fun as the homemaker wants it to be, because, like anyone with freedom, she does her best when given the freedom to be creative and discover what works best for her.

Being a homemaker certainly does not mean that she will not ever be able to pursue her talents. Many homemakers are also interior decorators, crafts experts,designers, artists, musicians, seamstresses and writers. Homemaking offers the time and the freedom to really pursue some of these goals, whereas the day at work will not only leave one exhausted, but dull their creative side, if they have to conform to the rules and regulations of the job. Free to be home, she finds more freedom than college or work ever allowed, and many women are taking advantage of it.

I still remember part of a poem that I read in an old magazine: "If I sing, or dig in the garden, I'm free: Remember, the choices were all made by me."

Thankfully, younger women are coming to realize that the mothers and grandmothers who were fooled by feminism, had much less freedom, and much less fulfillment in their 9 to 5 jobs. They were not free to be home.

Think about how free a woman at home really is. She can come and go as she needs to. She is free during the hours of the day when other people need help--for example, her mother, grandmother, her children and grandchildren, and those who could benefit the most from having her being available during the day. Sometimes, even children cannot help their aging parents, even though they live in the same town, or even next door to them, because they are gone during the day. Children especially, need a home life that is not full of the rush-rush music of "hurry up, it's time to go," and "Where are your shoes? We will be late!" Mothers at home create the stability and the happy childhood memories that children really need to carry the through the difficulties of later life. The really free woman is the one who does not have to be at work or bring in a paycheck.

Comments are temporarily open, as time allows.

I will not limit myself to just posting handy dandy helpful household hints. I hope to persuade as many whose hearts are open, to take the Titus 2 and the I Timothy 5:14 of the Bible seriously. I mean to plainly speak the real philosophy behind homemaking--not merely a bunch of interesting ideas. This blog is not for the faint of heart but for those who really want to stay home or eventually come home. I'm happy to see so many young women carrying out this work and doing it so well, but unfortunately, it was the older women who espoused this so-called "liberated woman" and it is often they who are the hardest to talk to.
If you don't want to be home, and don't ever intend to be home, and believe the feminist spin about homemakers, but don't believe the Bible is serious about the role of women, this blog is not for you. Comments will be taken at my leisure, and when they are turned off, my email is available ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net.

Please note: I am being particularly selective about the comments that I allow to stick, because they need to reinforce the Biblical standards, and not twist them or water them down or refute them, and I don't want to discourage young women who need the support to be homemakers. I realize a lot of women can't or won't stay home, and that has always been the case since the beginning of time. Even the Bible speaks about the women "whose feet do not stay home." If you have strong objections to the material here, you need to email me. If your comment does not get posted, it is either because I was not using the computer that day or because it required too long of a reply.

63 comments:

Ladyfromthewoods said...

I have often wondered if the founding feminists stopped to think that the "workforce" that they encouraged women to join for "freedom" and "respect" would include the most exhausting, least respectful, and most mind-numbing jobs out there. So many of the feminists were "intellectuals" and I think they assumed that women would be able to swoop into the higher-respected employments that required college degrees and beyond.

As for me, I've done my time at the university (the last place a woman of self-respect would enjoy) and despite have psychology, education, and the arts in my basket I find that there was nothing that I have learned in that institution that has made me any more "free" or "respected" than what I could've learned on my own by attending concerts, community classes, and visiting galleries and meeting artisans on my own. I have found that home is where my creativity has the most freedom and respect, and add to that... LOVE from my biggest fans! Never has my happiness been more complete.

I would say that if a woman (or man) thrives in the workplace and gets all of their ego-petting from accomplishments at work...be careful about having children. You are selfish in the workplace because anything less gets you "run over!" On the flip side, selflessness is what is required and respected at home, and is rewarded with love and respect from the people who trust you and you can trust in return.

There's no place like home.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Very intelligent. That speech just earned you a Homeliving Degree

Mrs Blythe said...

Beautiful words from ladyfromthewoods: "...selflessness is what is required and respected at home, and is rewarded with love and respect from the people who trust you and you can trust in return."
Amen to that.

Candy said...

I loved this article!
Thanks :)


Candy from Edmonton,ALberta, Canada

Mrs.B. said...

Excellent post Lady Lydia! And fabulous comment Lady from the Woods! (o:

elizabeth said...

Amen!Every since I was a young girl I knew that I wanted to be a SAHM and homemaker. My mother was\is a fulltime homemaker (7children + 3 grandchildren that used to live @ home). She always felt that she was missing something by not working outside the home and has greatly encouraged us 5 girls and 1 granddaughter to work. Her words to me were "put those children in daycare, work, go out after work, don't pick up those kids until the daycare closes. You deserve a break" I put my children in daycare and went to work. I hated it! My entire family suffered as result. I will never again put my children in daycare. I ran myself into a physical and mental breakdown that sent me into early menopause (I'm 25)and my children backslid and picked up horrible habits! (4yrs & 18mo). It has taken months to undo the damage.
I wish every young women could be made aware of that fact that feminism is nothing but a lie!

Dana (dana.lifewithchrist.org) said...

Thank you for such a wonderful and true post!

My dh and I were just talking this weekend about how women in the workplace is a form of slavery and a woman at home is freedom. I have also found that the majority of women in the workplace harbor so much bitterness toward their husband's for "not doing their fair share" when it is truly the woman who has chosen to take on work outside of the home (which, imho, doesn't excuse her from her duties of the home).

Thank you for being such a blessing!

Dana

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Christ already liberated women, centuries ago, when he gave them the role of wife, mother and keeper of the home. It liberated them from the stress of working for a taskmaster in another business, and from the authority of people other than their own husbands. It liberates them from the stress and from the worry of the workplace. Feminists could have made themselves far more useful and endearing to people if they had not promoted the no-fault divorce plan, and instead, protected women from easy divorce and from the hardship of having to earn a living. Because of this false enticement, women have a double-curse, so to speak: responsibilities of being a wife and homemaker, as well as bearing the man's burden of providing and protecting. This ought not to be so. That is why I say that Christ already liberated women to be free to be at home.

Brenda said...

I was raised in a nonChristian home and taught women should always have a job outside the home because you can't trust men. My mom wasn't a femnist, just a woman who had been hurt by her first husband and operated from fear instead of faith.

How I wish I could have those early years back when I put all of my time into a career. Thankfully, I heard from God on a business trip (really, it was almost as if He had spoken out loud) and I knew He was telling me to leave behind the career.

My daughter studied Interior Design at a major university and met her husband there in a Christian fellowship. She worked while he was finishing his PhD and left the workforce when our first grandchild was born. Now she uses her knowledge to help others with free design advice.

She was a brilliant student (graduated from high school as a junior and tested out of her first year's credits at college, graduated magna cum laude) and so many people have commented that she was "wasting her brain". We don't think so. She's a wonderful professor's wife, homeschooling mom, etc.

Vanessa said...

LadyLydia thanks again for a wonderful post! Great response ladyfromthewoods!

It's thanks to this site that I was able to truly listen to God's whisperings about quitting my job! December 15th can't come soon enough for me as I get ready to come home for good! This has been a desire of mine from a very early age. My father worked and my mother worked from home and raised us (my 2 brothers and I) Looking back it was a great way of life. My mother was always home and my dad earned to keep all 5 of us in his income!

I am already planning the first day of my being home as well as the first month! My husband is looking forward to me coming home and although he doesn't believe, he was the one that encouraged me to leave work. I know this in itself is an answer to prayer and God working on his heart.

Blessings.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

I agree! When something isnt your role and burden but rather forced unnaturally upon you its indeed slavery. A woman needing to work and to be based outside of the home definitely feels like slavery to me.

The only time Ive seen women TRULY want to work outside the home is when they have harmful husbands and they come to see work/money as their protector because they feel they have no other, there is no headship there. Otherwise, I truly suspect that deep down if most women really feel into things they long for hearth and home and headship. Even those neglected and abused and turning to money as thier false provider/protector, i suspect if they looked deep down they long for this healed...

I just love what you said, "Christ already liberated women, centuries ago, when he gave them the role of wife, mother and keeper of the home." And i think it also started even earlier, with the "curses" (healing in disguise) given by God to Adam and Eve--Adam was "cursed" to take on the mantle of headship and Eve was "cursed" to live under the guidance and protection of that headship and to keep at home. This I feel actually held their very healing...

Anonymous said...

This is O so true. it is the collapse of traditional, God-ordained family roles (especially the complete disintegration of the extended family in the West; let alone the more modern Nuclear family) which has left milions of elderly people languishing in nursing homes, their wisdom lost, their dignity, worth and individuality stripped and worse. Such a growing tragedy, I believe, has deeper roots even than feminism, as the intrinsic value of life itself is counted cheap and disposable by a society which measures one's worth in economic terms, judging from its "mighty" purch who shall live and who shall die. if the lives of the disabled, ill, dying and unborn are seen as expendable, what hope has the family got. This instant, quick fix craving-driven world would rather foster out care to "big childcare and big education" than focus upon the traditional place - the home for the raising of responsible, God-fearing, loving and compassionate men and women of the future. Also, the hard yards are not put in to better treatment, prevention and cure for inherited disabilities. here in australia women are virtually forced (locked in a room alone, brow-beaten by social workers to terminate) any child considered too imperfect for society's standards. Just recently, China succeeded in quashing the rights of unborn children from being included in the UN charter of human rights for people with a disability. More horrifying, just last night, on television (a programme concerning childhood development screening here in australia were strongly urged to abort two or three of their quins (one was not developing quickly). They refused and now they've got 5 wonderful children, the weak lad bolder than the rest put together! Imagine if they were not strong enough to stand against the health system's pressure! Another family held up in my opinion from this series are a couple in Rural New South Wales who are raising eight little ones, children of their own and cousins. The mother has made the decision to stay at home and the father holds a nine-to-five job (so he can also have an active influence upon the family). all the children are well behaved, lovely sunny boys and girls who should be held up as the rule rather than the exception. This month sees it being 4 years since my employer paid me (and many other staff with vision disabilities) out, and I do not look back! I've no inclanation to entre corporate-land ever ever again. Admittedly, my payout does give that extra little something to add to my husband's wage (having been happily married for the past 18 months) but he's stated even if it were not there, he would not want his wife out in that world, re-telling just this afternoon, the toll it's playing on colleagues and their spouses.

Yes, I've banged on for a while here, but I'm absolutely passionate, seeing too many frail elderly folk alone (their children because of this modern, worldly ecconomic society) unable to balance and share their care) in the community welfare placement I undertook last year - it broke my heart. Will it be my generation (36 years old) and those younger who finally see the folly of feminism? I pray we do. Lady Lydia, Mrs. chancey of LAF and all the ladies (and gentlemen) who write for this Blog, LAF and send in their comments and encouragement are lights in the darkness, shining forth God's truth in a dying world. Let's turn the supertanker around, so to speak, and return some sanity into the mad house that is this secular, godless post-modern world. I firmly believe we are indeed living in the last days. Our example may well lead to the conviction of souls otherwise lost when they see what Godly christian values and family standards truly are.

In closing, let us not forget the fact the church at large around the western world has walked away from its responsibility to widows (not just bereft women, but abused, deserted and otherwise single ladies - see LAF for more detail) and orphans, due to the fact they're so heavily influenced by the feminist retoric which drags woman from her divinely appointed role and expects her to enter the working world, putting her children in "big education" schools and so on. Modesty, feminine example and the rest is just not preached or encouraged. i know a few churches in the US are returning to the notion of Biblical community, support and stewardship, but that's all. here in Australia, it is not happening, nor is it in the UK or Western Europe, where Christianity is all but dead.

Pray, pray pray like you've never prayed for the work done here on this blog, LAF and similar sites devoted to Godly womanhood and stand fast even wen set upon by the outside and even family itself.

Blessings,

Mrs. E
Australia.

plainandsimple said...

This was a great post and the comments are also so thoughtful and full of insight. What we must remember is that very few of the readical feminists of the 1960s and 1970s were concerned with the plight of "normal" women. Their remit was of gaining parity with men in politics, academia and to a certain extent the professions. Most feminists were academics/journalists. Their concerns were ill thought out, as their ideas on "equality" did not tranfer from their lofty concerns to the lives of every day women. That is to say, through lack of forethought they sentenced many women to lives of stress and *true* drudgery. Also, many men were quite happy to let these low paid jobs go to women...most sexual discrimination cases are actioned by women executives, lawyers and so on. So what we see in this "equal" system is a scramble between men and women for the top jobs...everybody else is left to flounder and society crumbles because our children are "outsourced".

Lady_MSnow said...

Thank you so much for this article. It is all too true.

Mrs. Melody said...

Your words are so true. I have so much more freedom as a SAHM than my working neighbor. I am not a slave to a job. I have the joy of being my own boss here at home. I am free to help my hubby any way he needs. I don't have to worry about being late to work if the school bus runs late, or what to do when there is a school holiday and no childcare. If that is "freedom" to feminists, count me out!

Yes, there are women who really do have to work. I pray for them, especialy the ones who want desperately to be home. I think there are lots more who chose to.

Please keep talking to women of all generations, Lady Lydia, we are listening

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Mrs E in Oz, in cases like these, when those who do not believe in the authority of the Bible seem to dominate with their Marxist agendas, it is good to go back into history and remind them of how women and children used to be elevated when there was no social "Daddy" and when Dad's and husbands were preserved so that they could take care of the family, the basic social unit of life. In this historical research, anyone can find a number of single women who still lived with their families (instead of going out and trying to find an apartment they could afford, moving in with friends, trying to hunt jobs that pay enough, etc) and still were well provided for.The widows were also provided for. Before men had a third of their paycheck taken out by the gov't to fund all the social programs, they were able to put that into investment and savings to look after their wives and mothers. Now, there is no money to save, and so even those who don't want to participate in this system, don't have the resources to care for the people they love, especially if they get sick or have problems that the family can't deal with (such as paralysis). There were three women I remember studying about from the 1800's. One was Mary Cassatt who was not married, but painted many beautiful pictures of children and their mothers, from her sister's family. She helped with that family, and she painted for pleasure. While a lot of people think she painted because she was a feminist who wanted independence from men, she did not necessarily paint to earn a living or to make a point. Another was Catherine Beecher, who was single, but who designed the modern kitchen from the dark Victorian existance that it had. She believed it should be light and airy and healthful to work in, and so for the first time, cabinets were painted white, and the atmosphere was cheerful. She was not married, but her endeavors were to make the homemaker and the married woman happier at home. You see, today the feminists are much different. Instead of making homemakers more content, they want them to be discontent, and they do not lift a hand to help them. My parents homesteaded in Alaska in the 40's and 50's and I am hard pressed to find one feminist of the times who was demanding equal rights to a homestead--because it was hard work, it was lonely, it was dangerous, and it it was costly. I never see them screeching and hollering to make the home a better place to live, but mostly, to have better advantages in the workplace. Another so-called feminist of the 19th century was Carrie Nation, whose life was turned upside down by her husband's drinking. In fact, she was divorced, and forced to make her own way. She noticed that men's paychecks were being spent in the bars and the children and women were going hungry, so she waged a campaign to elect Calvin Coolidge, who was "the family man" and to abolish the sale of alcohol. She went around with a tiny little hatchet, into bars and put the hatchet into the wood of the bar. Bartenders who saw her coming, would hide behind the bar.She was actually a harmless little woman, who wanted men to come home with their paychecks and look after their wives and children, instead of spending it at the bar. Yet today's feminists don't do anything like this --you never see them protesting the use of drugs or alchohol or easy divorce.

And to those who say they are not slaves to their place of employment: if you are not, then you are free to come and go as you please, on your own hours and your own schedule and your own time, and if your family comes first, you don't have to go to work at all. If a husband is truly pulling the load of a man, he can provide for his family. The one thing that prevents this is buying above their means and debt. There are many things a family thinks they must do, or must have, that are not necessarily important: ballgame tickets, movies, eating out, new clothes, trips and vacations, hairdressing, cosmetics and facials, houses with high payments or high rent, etc. These things can all be substituted with less expensive alternatives. Many times a house can be found that is "free"--such as a place where you manage a park or other rentals, while you get paid and have a house provided. There are many many ways of doing things, and if you really want to and are determined, you can be a homemaker like women of the past used to be. the economy does NOT dictate to us how we should live,unless we let it.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Homemakers need not think, that just because they leave the pressures at work, that there will be no pressures or stresses at home. In fact, it can be very difficult sometimes, but the motiviation is to make your own private endeavors successful and to rise above your problems. There will be problems that are hard to overcome, but at least the place belongs to her and she cares about it in a personal way. People tend to respect their own belongings more than institutional things, and so the homemaker has a better oppportunity to make her residence shine and her family successful in life.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Note to Marie: since I don't know you, I couldn't possibly be addressing you personally in this article. Your comments will not be a good influence on young women who need to be the keepers at home and who should not be working, therefore, I won't print them. However, many women in your situation have still found the conviction to stay home and let their husbands be a breadwinner. The best thing to do is to let your life at home be your realm and to let your husband worry about the finances, and in doing o, it is not a manly option to send a wife to work. Women are good at presenting all kinds of seemingly impossible scenerios to prove that Titus 1 and II Timothy 5:15 and the scriptures addressing women, are "impossible" in this day and age--ie. growing up with a father who was a drunk, cast out into the working world where they had no choice but to work, unable to care for children which they got by 5 different husbands who would not stay with them, or no house to live in except a tent down by the river. The idea that I am presenting is that women need to change themselves to fit the scriptural pattern, not try to change the pattern to fit themselves. I'm encouraging women that, even if they can't quit work altogether now, to at least have as their goal, the image of the woman's role presented in the scriptures to guide and guard the home, and get as close to that model as possible, or at least have it in mind as an eventual achievment.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

..and as I've stated many times before, I've yet to see any man or woman living under a bridge because the wife refused to get a job outside the home, or the husband wanted to be the breadwinner. They are homeless for reasons including rebellion against parents, drug use, and improper use of money, not because they wanted to follow the biblical pattern of wife, mother, homemaker, or husband as provider and protector. I have still yet to see one case where the wife ended up homeless or starving because she was a dedicated wife and homemaker. Modernists like to scare women into thinking that if they don't get a job they will be homeless, but it is yet to be proven.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy so much reading your blog! I am a 38 year old stay at home homeschooling mom and wouldn't trade it for the world. I am very blessed to have such a supportive husband who provides for us so well. I do have one question for you though and would love your thoughts on the matter.

The children's minister at our church is a mom to 4. She does a fabulous job but her job does entail many long hours away from her family and I have seen how that affects her relationship with them. However, she is a wonderful leader of our children's ministry. She feels that the Lord called her to this job/position and she's very passionate about it. I'm wondering what your take is on this. Do you feel that the Lord would call a mother into a ministry like this that would require so many hours away from her family? I am torn on this issue and would value your perspective!

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

There always seems to be something to allure the mother away from the attention she needs to be giving her home and her children. If the children were old enough to be helping in some kind of volunteer service like this, and to benefit directly from it, it wouldn't be neglect, but rather a family effort. Unfortunately, in the name of ministry, a lot of people leave their families, including men. When children are that young, the best ministry is with them, in their homes, where they are best taught and protected. If people would only realize that the most neglected ministry is the home and the children and the husbands. Sometimes people are intimidated and told that "the Lord's work" comes first, and they also mis-use the scriptures about how we can't love our mothers and fathers more than the Lord, but the Lord's work is truly the work of the home, first. That doesn't mean they have to stay inside the house all locked up day after day. It allows them a lot of freedom to help others, but not at the expense of the family. God created the family first, before even the church was established.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

I wish to emphasise that in no way am I condemning anyone who is working because their husband can't or won't earn a living for the family. what I am saying here has nothing really to do with how I feel about women who are working. The subject has everything to do with the lies that feminists have told you. They've told you they are great sources of freedom, but, in fact, all their claims were already in force before they claimed it: women got equal pay long before the Equal Rights came into view--one woman, Phyllis Schlafley became a lawyer and then a senator, completely without the help of ERA, NOW or any feminist movement; in fact it was long before the equal pay thing began, that she took her seat in the senate and received equal pay. Women could do anything they wanted to but they had to be as good at it as men, and that was how they earned their way. Now with the new political correctness, businesses have to hire a certain number of women, because it is "fair" and not because they are good at the work they are supposed to do. Feminists have told a bunch of lies, and their pulpit is the classroom of the colleges and universities, where they tell you that it is an "opportunity" to work and a disadvantage to be at home. Its the misuse of these words that have fooled a lot of young women. They claim it is "freedom" if a woman leaves her husband and children and goes to work for someone else. Whether or not that employer is a man or a woman, they are an authority in that person's life. If you don't think so, then, the next time your boss wants you to do something, tell him or her to do it themselves.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

to Marie: I cannot post your comments, but you may email me at ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

the lady who posted this speaks from real life experience. Anyone who thinks feminism is really good for everyone, ought to go live in the communist countries that espouse it the most and then tell us how liberated they feel.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

I was really interested in what you said here Lady Lydia:

"I never see (feminists) screeching and hollering to make the home a better place to live, but mostly, to have better advantages in the workplace. Another so-called feminist of the 19th century was Carrie Nation, whose life was turned upside down by her husband's drinking. In fact, she was divorced, and forced to make her own way. She noticed that men's paychecks were being spent in the bars and the children and women were going hungry, so she waged a campaign to elect Calvin Coolidge, who was "the family man" and to abolish the sale of alcohol. She went around with a tiny little hatchet, into bars and put the hatchet into the wood of the bar. Bartenders who saw her coming, would hide behind the bar.She was actually a harmless little woman, who wanted men to come home with their paychecks and look after their wives and children, instead of spending it at the bar. Yet today's feminists don't do anything like this --you never see them protesting the use of drugs or alchohol or easy divorce."

This is the sort of woman I really admire, someone who "wanted men to come home with their paychecks and look after their wives and children, instead of spending it at the bar". I wish there were more like her. If feminism had followed this sort of thing rather than become what it did instead, then I would have been behind it with bells on honestly. But instead its fruit, as you said, is "you never see them protesting the use of drugs or alchohol or easy divorce", among other harm it has done, to both men and women; when it comes down to it feminism hasnt upheld a good life but rather stolen it from us.

One thing I did want to mention though, in response to another comment. While i dont believe in Marxism or in the whole politcally correct scene either, I really DO think there needs to be a true safety net somehow to take care of the more vulnerable (women, and children, and the ill or injured, etc) should their fathers or husbands be harmful or should they be without. A real safety net, not the silly bandaids we have now. And I think there must be a way to do this somehow that doesnt resort to marxism or the politicaly correct stuff, a net instead that is simply based on the whole gentleman principle at a social and government level--caring for those more vulnerable as an actual *duty*, the safety and comfort of the more vulnerable coming first as simply the right thing to do--what civilization is actually supposed to be for.

We definitely *don't" have this now, we judge those more vulnerable as a rule instead, its that whole horrific "survival of the fittest" thing we really have now, I feel that under both Marxism and the politically correct movement, the weaker are discarded and judged or used as propoganda, not actually cared about or for.

But the solution for this horrible net we have isnt to have no net but to have a TRUE one I feel. And if it grates on some men's ego to see that net there, honestly I dont think that should be a deterent. Because a true gentleman would want every possible measure done to ensure the safety of those more vulnerable.

But I'm no politician and don't know the how...

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

For Marie: I think you would might benefit from the articles at this blog http://www.awomanagainstfeminism.blogspot.com/ where there is an article called "What Feminism Has Done for Me."

Anonymous said...

I work part time and I like it. I don't feel like a slave, I get treated very well by the company I work for. And I get paid very well for what I do. I work part time so my husband and I can send our children to college. My husband makes a good living, but it's not quite enough to pay for three childrens college tuition; so I work.

Mrs N MacKenzie said...

I really appreciate your latest blog entry. I need to make a manifesto for myself for when I get discouraged. I am a homemaker with a husband and three children and I would like to point out another way that feminism strikes those of us who are at home. I have been becoming aware lately of attitude problems with many SAHM in the way they interprete their freedoms. For many the freedom of being home is the freedom to be slovenly and idle (read books, spend too much time at the computer, talk too long on the phone). There is freedom also to be out of the home all day. These interpretations of freedom bring dishonour to the scriptural injunction to be a keeper at home. For me, my being home means that I am in service to the King - my home is my mission field. I don't keep very well and it is a struggle for me to get things down but I make an effort because if my working friends can't see a difference in my home and family because I am home then where is my witness.

Jammy said...

Thank you for all your effort! Certain websites and authors helped me to realize the value and also enjoyment of being a homemaker. Coming from a poor and single-parent household, and being unsaved until 2 years ago (though I didn't know it) I didn't posess this view. You never know the impact of your blog, but I can't just imagine....I know I am not the only one like me out there.

Mrs. Wayne Hunter said...

Thank you, Mrs. Sherman, for your excellent and inspiring blog! This particular post as well as all of your others are so inspiring, comforting, and edifying. It is a blessing to know that you're here to help, teach, and guide women in the paths in which we should go. May God bless you abundantly!

Most sincerely,
Mrs. Wayne Hunter

Mrs Pea said...

Coming home has meant that we have had to give up some things - a larger house is impossible for us unless I work, holidays and "keeping up with the Joneses" and we have lost out financially too, especially as the government here in the UK makes all the tax and financial laws to overtly favour two income families - but we have gained so MUCH more. Despite all the outward and obvious costs, my husband will not hear of me working outside our home again and it is his intention that I should never do so, even when our children are grown. There is such a fruit of the deeper, richer, more meaningful rewards that we cannot adequately explain it. Yes, it takes bravery to make the change, and yes there are some sacrifices and yes, there will be lots of pitying looks at the "exploited" husband, comments and questions, but most of all there will be so much happiness and harmony when husband and wife are pulling together on this issue and are working to make it work.

Momof3blessings said...

We always need to remember that when we are home just going thru our usual routine that we are providing a testimony and maybe helping someone out unbeknownst to us.
We are American and live in Germany in the country in a little village and have several lovely grandmothers in the area. My children are always taking them flowers or a drawing or a blaked item and they are always given a sweet of some sort in return. I love watching the grandmother across the way, with her beautiful grey hair she always has a skirt on with an apron and is always productively busy with something--her laundry, her wash which she neatly hangs on a discreet rack in the side of her beautiful flower garden.

When I am lacking motivation for the day, I can always peek out my side window and see her to give me encouragement. My german is slowly getting stronger. I need to learn the words and then go tell her what a motivation she is too me. Her quaint house looks like it should be in a storybook drawn by the Bluedorn daughter who is an excellent artist(see Trivium Pursuit). I should really get a picture for you of her in front of her house sometime. Thanks again for your encouraging blog!! You also are an inspiration for us : )

momof3blessings said...

Even women at the top can feel like they are a slave to their jobs. I can speak from experience. I came from a divorced household, so it was just my mom, my sister and me. I hated seeing my mom struggle to pay the rent. I hated carting our laundry on public buses to get to the laundrymat. So when I realized that education was a way out, I went all the way with blinders on my eyes, not considering any other options.

I went to law school and became a corporate lawyer for a Fortune 500 company. I was 25 and enjoyed business trips, staying at the best hotels and eating at the fanciest restaurants in the big cities. But that was only a small percentage of the time. When I was not traveling, I felt locked to my desk and work. I was encouraged to spend my evenings taking extra classes in my area of expertise and to go to Toastmasters, a public speaking practice group.

I thought I was done with school after years of education. I loved my evenings and procrastinated doing this extra work. At work, I wished I could be cooking a soup from my gourmet cookbooks or raising a little one. I was envious of those women who were pregnant and leaving to have their baby. It sounded so dreamy....I spent my lunch hours at a local playground and thought the moms there were the luckiest in the world. It was then that I commited to myself(I was not a very mature Christian, just a very baby Christian) that when I did have children, I would never work while I was pregnant and I would certainly not do daycare and come back.

All the trips, titles, fancy suits, spending money, fancy meals, gave me a hollow feeling. Once my husband was done with law school, I was able to quit and now have three beautiful children(and one with the Lord) that I homeschool here in Germany. Talk about freedom! Lufthansa had an airfare sale, $99RT anywhere in Europe, so in Sept we went to Sweden, in Oct, Scotland and in Nov. we are going to Rome. I am the manager of my own time and I decided that due to the sale, we should travel to these farther destinations(with my husband's blessing and acompaniment). I am much more fulfilled as a homeschooling stay at home mom, fulltime wife to my husband than I ever was as a lawyer. Most people these days don't even know I am a lawyer and it doesn't bother me for I am free and loving it!

Next on the agenda, learning how to sew and starting a vegetable garden with my children.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Here is something refuting the myths of the middle ages: http://www.traditioninaction.org/History/A_005_Myths1500s.shtml

Also, if you want to understand the misinformation and myths that were spread about the Victorian era, read Linda Lichter's book. 20th century progressives trashed that era so that they could usher in their own way of living, trying to throw off the restraints of their Victorian forebearers.

Tiany said...

Lady Lydia,
You have such an inspiring blog here, a real blessing for ladies seeking truth and sound wisdom!

Thank you for this post, it is a topic that I am very passionate about but my words are not nearly as anointed as your own. I hope you don't mind but I would like to put a link to this post on my blog. There are many that read on my blog that need so much to hear these words!

Thank you again sharing such an important message!

Blessings,
Tiany

Mrs.B. said...

Mom of 3 Blessings,
Thank you for your beautiful description of the German grandmother. It was very inspirational. (o:

Blessings,
~Mrs.B

Linda said...

This is a rather silly question...but could you please tell me the verse about women "whose feet do not stay home"...I've searched for it in vain and would really like to read it. Thank you.

Wendy WaterBirde said...

Thank you so much for that site suggested, http://www.traditioninaction.org/History/A_005_Myths1500s.shtml, its a great one! Its funny, Ive linked to that site before because they have such nice posts on the saints, but i never saw this page there before or explored more than the saints posts there. So intrigued by your link, I explored and there is also a great link there on countermodels to feminism from the middle ages, http://www.traditioninaction.org/HotTopics/d001ht.htm

From it:

"If you would like your daughter to understand what is a virtuous woman, essentially feminine and not feminist, capable of governing a home and influencing the natural society in which she moves, what period of History would you direct her to study?

First, steer clear of our own sad 20th century of feminism. The answer is very simple. If you want your daughter to understand what it is to be a valiant woman, have her study the lives of medieval women, the women who helped to shape the Age of Faith. A period, by the way, feminists like to represent as the most oppressive because it was not egalitarian and vulgar, but hierarchical and sacral. Yet the pages of the history of Christian Civilization resound with stories of valorous mature women, personalities who played important roles in the unfolding of Christian Civilization. In fact, it is interesting to see that the conversion of Europe depended on the faith and piety of apostolic mothers and wives...

(They go onto give examples, such as) it was the great St. Margaret of Scotland (1038-1093) who married Malcolm III of Scotland and gentled the rough manners of the Highland warriors. In her position as queen, all Margaret’s great influence was thrown into the cause of religion and piety. She was instrumental in the convocation of the synod that instituted reforms that led Scotland out of isolation and into line with the rest of Western Christendom....

This is but a fragment of the stories of great medieval women... Let the Simone de Beauvoirs’ and the feminists rage and twist the facts of history. But the truth needs to be stated. The role and influence of virtuous Catholic wives and mothers, who never lost their femininity of spirit, has always been immense. At a moment when feminist movement seems to be faltering and failing to convince, it seems opportune to present archetypes for young girls and women today - who are so desperately in need of finding models of women who did not abandon their traditional roles and yet were so essential in the shaping of Christian Civilization."

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

It is the married women today who do not want to leave their responsibilities at home and go to work. There are a lot of men suckered into the feminist doctrine that they ought to send their wives to work. Some are students who listen to the University speal that it isn't fair that women stay home while men work. Feminists try any thing, any language, to get it the way they want it. In the 60's they told women it "wasn't fair" that men "got" to work and women "had" to stay home. A lot of women today don't buy that, knowing that being home is hard work, too (actually some feminists want to avoid housework and child care and husband care and so they are just in rebellion, trying to get out of real work), and a lot of women didn't buy that line. Now they are telling the men it isn't "fair" that they "have" to go to work, while the wife stays home. They have tried to reinvent society their way. The way it is really supposed to be is: a man and a woman get married. The man is the provider and protector and the woman is the manager of the home. In many cases, she manages the money and invests it so that they end up having two or even three incomes, while she tends to the home. Most husbands just want their wives to be happy, and so will let them work or not,but there is increasing pressure on the men to put their wives in the workforce alongside men. The men are getting pushed right out of town, though. As I go into town occasionally, I find not one man working at a bank, a post office, a hardware store, or even a police station! The authors of feminism (Marx, Engles, and the others of their school) thought they were more clever than God, and tried to find a "better" system for society, by mixing up the orderliness of the family--finding "freedom" for men and women so they wouldn't have to be "tied down" to their roles. However we have seen the disaster this has made. Any school teacher will tell you that most of the kids in their classrooms are troubled, and from broken homes. What we are doing at LAF and on this blog, is trying in a small way to circumvent these powerful allies of feminism. We have yet to figure out how to intervene in the schools which are teaching people this falsehood, but for now, the wb will do.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your blog so much. It is a great source of encouragement to me. Thank you for the Bible verses, I'll look them up and read them.
Sincerely, Janie

Mrs. Wayne Hunter said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
One way to at least counter-balance what's being taught in the schools is to encourage women who are successful in living the promises of God Almighty because of their obedience to His Word to have classes at their homes or in Churches on being Godly wives and mothers. Ask these women to get the word out by contacting the local media, putting ads in the papers, even being listed in the phone book, etc. This "new women's movement" - the move back home to the old paths - is a hot topic in the world right now and is a mighty force because its might lies in God's Truth. Godly men, also, could definitely do the same thing by offering classes for men. Just as the homeschool movement caught on like fire, this movement could and I believe will, God willing, because so many men and women are turning to the old paths of righteousness. Those of us in this movement, however, must be very careful to remain on the paths of righteousness, meekness, gentleness, and love and study, study, study our issues so that we can rightly address things that come up. Most importantly we must remain holding fast to God's Word on family issues, lest we dash our feet in pride and fall, thus losing what we are all working for.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

try Proverbs 7:11

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

the scriptue was for the one who asked for the verse about the feet not staying home. Of course it must be taken in the fullness of understanding that it is intended...it certainly does not mean we can't go anywhere!

Anonymous said...

Your article rings very true. My husband and I ran the numbers this morning for my "earnings" at my "job."

As I'll be going on "permanent maternity leave" (as I've told my colleagues, "Oh, about 30 years or so, depending on how many children and whether they're a 'handful'") at the end of this year, we figured out just how much I've managed to make, above expenses incident to my profession.

I will have cleared less than $1,000. If I were earning that as a salary on my own, I'd be in the street. And this as an ATTORNEY, of all things!

What I've sacrificed for this precious $1K have been: a clean house; well-disciplined dogs (they're little monsters, but I don't have time to remedy that); a vegetable garden (which would have saved us a lot of grocery money); learning to can and preserve, to sew, crochet, knit, and embroider; dozens upon dozens of cookies I've had to buy because I couldn't take time to bake them; visits from friends and family; books I haven't been able to read; topics I haven't been free to study; and a big chunk of home serenity due to my fatigue and waspishness.

All this for a measly $1,000. I won't miss the money. I sure won't miss the aggravation. Between that and the fact that my assigned clients have gotten weirder and weirder, and their cases increasingly complicated and time-consuming, I think God is lining it up so that I WON'T look back.

This article is yet another blessing from your blog, Mrs. Sherman. Thank you for taking the time on it!

Mrs. Bartlett

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

I'd really like you to address some more of the lies that can be proven historically.

Unfortunately women think the history they learned is truth.

One lie is that before feminism, women didn't have any freedom or rights, sanitation or anything good.

One woman wrote me a long letter telling me how glad she was she didn't live in the victorian era because women had to have abortion with coat hangers and usually died (well, they die today because of abortion; and if they don't their emotional scars and physical ailments are multiplied)

another wrote and said they had no running water (which is pure rubbish) and that they had no medicine, so when they got sick, they all died. (not true. Medicine was not the chemical concoctions that people take today, and in fact doctors often had knowledge of real health rather than just covering things up with pills)

According to her history, women all died before the feminists rescued them.

In my opinion these women would be better off reading a romance novel that had some natural things going on between men and women, than this revised and polluted history.

Yet another woman once wrote me that women had no right to vote before feminism....not true at all, and can be proven through recorded debates in congress (women who were widows or daughters who weren't married and owned property, did vote)...and that they had no political power at all.

..its utter rubbish what they are saying about women of the past. That they had to stay locked up in their houses and they just died in the streets and were kicked aside.

One thing these women ought to read is the book about a Muslim woman in an Arabian country, who describes the buriel of her mother: although she was the mother of a large number of sons, as well, they took her body and buried it in the desert with no marker and no funeral and no one attended anything ceremonial. It was as if she had not lived. The daughter was not allowed to show sorrow or visit her mother's grave, nor mention her ever again.

If progressives think that women in Victorian times were treated so badly, they ought to go to a cemetary and look for the biggest markers and read the tribute that was put on the women's gravestones: beloved wife of 40 years, loving mother of 6, good and kind, --followed by a touching poem.

These markers were very elaborate and the feeling one gets when looking at them is as though the crowd of mourners are still standing there, determined that the life of this woman will not be forgotten.

Compare that today, and ask if feminism has exalted women at all--women are not trusted any more or revered as pillars of society, as they once were, the nuturers of children and happy little homemakers who make a house a home.

Few of them today will have on their markers "Loving lawyer who helped many people get a divorce, and sued landlords for unfair treatment,"

Which would you rather be remembered as? Do you care more about family loyalty and family unity than about social progress? For, no matter what you do for society, it is for aught, and not social progress, if the home breaks down and becomes nothing more than a place to crash while everyone gets ready to go "somewhere else" or somewhere more important, usually separately and not together.

Kelley said...

Wonderful post....thanks for sharing!
I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home!

Lauren Christine said...

What a joy this blog is to read. I thank you again, because all too often I hear people saying, "Well I'm just a homemaker". Your blog reminds me that there is no "just" about it. Its a freedom and is beautiful.
blessings,
Lauren

momof3blessings said...

I always cheer when I hear about any woman that has decided to come home, but being a lawyer myself that came home, I give an extra loud Yippeeee whenever I read about another lawyer that has made the decision to come home. So a big YIPPPEEEEE!!!!!! to Mrs. Bartlett. I am about as thrilled as when I learned I passed the dreaded bar exam. Yes, all those cookies that need to be baked and all that sewing that needs to be learned...If you want to see some pretty things sewn to give you encouragement by another lawyer that came home see the blog, Pleasantview Schoolhouse-- http://pleasantviewschoolhouse.blogspot.com/ I hope it is ok to post this address Lydia, if not please feel free to remove it.

Also, your welcome to the lady above, I think Mrs. B, for my comment on the German grandmother. She is a real gem to behold. We recently had family grandmothers visit and I was thinking there is nothing more ridiculous than a 70-80 year old woman with dyed hair. The Lord salutes those with the hoary(grey) head. It is a sign of wisdom.

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

Mrs. Hunter: I am looking for access to the high schools so that I can influence the younger women. They have them there 5 days a week for almost 8 hours a day. It is harder to get into there with a teaching, than it is to go to Russia and teach Bible in public schools. The schools have closed themselves to anything but their own curriculum. It is like they are a separate country and you can't get in. It is "the forgotten nation."

Lady Lydia Speaks said...

I'd like to include the good homemaking links like the one you mentioned, but haven't learned to work blogger well enough to do it. If anyone has the time, sometime, I'd appreciate some help.

Anonymous said...

Mom of 3 Blessings: Thank you very much for the link! I'll look it over very thoroughly...when my clients aren't pestering me. *grin*

Mrs. Sherman: Two quick things that I wanted to address. One was whether there WERE any such things as wire coat hangers before the 20th century...? (Which, if there weren't, would blow that one misguided soul's argument straight out of the building.)

The other is whether you've offered to tutor girls at the school. I know of a pastor who is doing that, not so much as a ministry (although he does try to share the Gospel with his students), but for a little extra money for the household. You can sneak in all kinds of things, I understand...

Wendy Waterbirde: I agree that much of the medieval era was very excellent for women. I just tend to dislike certain pesky things like the "droit du seigneur" (did I spell that right? I don't do French) and serfdom. And I sincerely dislike "mysticism," as the term is used today (realizing that it hasn't always meant precisely the same thing). But then again, I tend to place much greater stock in logic and didacticism than in experiential revelation (the opposite of modern churches, it seems sometimes), although I am a Pentecostal. The New Testament is a tremendous exhibition of Spirit-led reasoning!

Sorry for rattling on topics of theology. "Mysticism" is just a term that sets me off these days. I'm zealous for my sisters' souls.

It's a new day, and it promises to be long. God bless you, sisters.

Mrs. Bartlett

Anonymous said...

Would it be possible perhaps to do some time as a scripture teacher? Here in New South Wales, australia, Scripture has been taught in primary schools (and to a leser extent, secondary schools) since the 1880's. This comprises a weekly lesson of about an hour in length concerning Christian instruction where the presentor actually goes into the classroom, guiding and teaching those children for a term, or even years as committment and family permit.. Unfortunately, just this year, murmurings within the State Government and Department of Education have arisen to stop this practice and replace it with "ethics" (no prizes for guessing what this will contain). Well, I'm getting off the track a little; back to my original train of thought. Scripture classes are delivered by dedicated volunteers either laiety, clergy or nuns/monks. Perhaps, you could use this, if it is available in your area, as an opening to teach truthful home values and God-ordained order for men and women. if not, perhaps a first step could be to approach the Christian private and community schools in your area.

As a possible resource, if you like, Lady Lydia, I would be happy to send you my e-copy of mrs. Beatons as an excellent example of both a woman's guidance and a woman's calling (this adept lady of more than 150 years ago doing a wonderful work in encouraging excellence in homemaking and family. it's beautiful to read a secular book such as this with open and undisguised Biblical references as, in that period (in england at any rate) they were still considered natural and fact.

It's as valid today as it was back then as both instruction, example, historical lesson and portrait of how a (presumbably) homemaker could so widely influence her fellow ladies.

in my school days, a friend of mine came up with a novel term for the homemaker - domestic engineer, as we are the planners, builders, researchers and constructors of this extensive home realm, indeed, forming the very characters of all within by our example, action and honoured role.

In Closing, another option could be to (either yourself or in conjunction with other ladies of like persuation) have a stall at one of these job fairs in your local area - don't wait for them to come to you, go to them. They may put up resistance, but "something's gotta give" sooner or later. With Prayer and trust, all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us.

Keep up the wonderful work!

Mrs. E.

Grace said...

Thank you for posting such an encouraging post :-) I have often wondered how "freedom" could really be found while under the authority of a boss/manager at work. Prior to marriage, I worked several jobs and none of them allowed me the freedom that I have at home. Being told when I could eat, take a break, or have a day off is not my idea of "freedom" and I am very thankful and blessed to have a wonderful husband who is supportive and encouraging of my being at home for our family!

I have always been very confused by the remarks people make that imply all women were abused or treated poorly in 1950's America. My grandmother and her dearest friends have all been career homemakers and none of them experienced any abuse or feelings of despair for being at home. In fact, they all speak highly of their days at home and how supportive society was to women at home back when they were young wives and mothers. Several of them speak of hard times during the Depression era and during WW2, but they are all very proud of their accomplishments and lives despite the troubles of the time. These ladies are wonderful examples of what women should strive to be. :-)

Anonymous said...

Mrs. A, just so's ya know, I wasn't "blasting" the Middle Ages. I'm a hardcore Protestant, so I tend to see the darker side of the "dominant Roman Catholic" era. Sorry if I came off as being rude.

There really wasn't too much variation in religion prior to the Reformation in Europe, IIRC. America is predominantly Protestant (well, nominally, at any rate), so you can see why we have such a blind spot regarding that era. One tends to think that a Church Muscular (as the Vatican was at the time) would force a kind of homogenization of cultures.

Not trying to foster a debate here. Just explaining myself. *grin*

Mrs. Bartlett

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

I am sure the homemaker is given the usual remarks and the usual challenges, asked the usual questions. One question is "What if your husband doesn't earn enough money to support a family." How much money does it take? Who can determine that amount? If the husband is lazy and will not work, he should not be allowed to stay home and eat. If the husband is earning a living and just working his way up to a better position, the wife can adjust the family expenses. They can find a cheaper place to live, or get one car or do without all the added things that are luxuries. Sometimes this only lasts a few months and then because of the reduced outflow of money, the couple prospers. The best way to make a dollar stretch is to not spend it. Each dollar adds up. Most people today say they are forced to work outside the home. They say they have no choice. But what happened to the feminists war cry of "choice?" Before, a woman could stay home and guard the home and help her husband prosper. Now she has no choice. Part of it is debt. If the couple wants to start out with everything newly purchased on credit, the wife will have to work. In earlier days my parents had little or no money but it never made my mother go to work. She knew it was her duty to be home, she and other women like her. Would you send a child off to work just because the father didn't earn "enough" money? No, you wouldn't. You would find resources within your home to take care of him. One problem is that this generation of women have severed ties with their mothers and grandmothers. In other times, the mothers and grandmothers offerred help in many ways. You did not have to own every thing because there was a parent or grandparent that would lend you something or do something for you. That is not to say we were a bunch of free loaders. We did something in return and took the principle to help others in need. Not everything came from a store, either. Families knew how to get along financially without the wife going to work. Also, there might have been a restaurant that a woman could work at if she needed money, but the alternative was logging in the forest with the men or fishing on the fishing boats with the men. The women preferred the comfort of the home than going out and facing death or cruel weather, or seasickness. They made that home special for these hard working men, and they had respect for the money that was earned by their labor, and managed it carefully. Now, there are factories and fast food restaurants and chain stores and offices that offer comfortable indoor employment for women. So, the lure to work outside the home is much greater and the effort much easier. It is easy to get a job these days but not so easy to stay home. Some women want to work because they want more things, but they should only realize that they can make their husbands' money stretch more if they were at home monitoring the amount of expenses going out. I've not been denied anything just because my husband is the breadwinner. In fact, we have more than the working woman would have. Her salary is used up in expenses of working. Unless you live next door to your working space, or in a place above your shop, it costs a lot to go to work.

Michele said...

I am 28 years old. I went to university and came out with a degree. During that time I was a feminist and espoused many socialist and feminist ideas. I was the leader of a very vocal feminist group on campus. Then Jesus found me. I am no longer feminist but instead turn from all that feminism teaches. I currently work outside the home and I am not free in any sense of the word. I despise my job. I despise getting up each morning and having to come to work. I do not like it and I long to return to the home. Please uplift me in prayer. Please pray that the good Lord will bless my husband of 6 months a good job where he actually can work and support me and a family in the future. He works a part time job right now and he does long to work more and support me. But because of his past he has not been able to find much yet. Please keep us both in your prayers.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Michele, we certainly will. In the meantime you might read "When Queens Ride By" in the theme article section of the sidebar. Sometimes men do better at finding work when they are desperate. They are able to tell people that they must support their wife or family and they cannot delay getting a good job. There are employers that are very sympathetic to that. But if someone asks "Is your wife working?" and the husband says "yes," then people don't feel the urgency of it. They think, "Oh well, you will have her salary." I know such a case as this. The husband cannot find work but everyone knows his wife has a top job in a company and they just aren't very sympathetic with him and so he remains in part time jobs.

VAMommy said...

Thank you, for once again writing God's word. Your blog reminds me of biblical truths, and I am so happy to hear you reinforce God's Word. I have emailed you previously and do thank you for your encouragement. I am following God's will by faith and am an at home mom and do thank God for it. Thank you for spreading the word of God in your blog. Please know that it has made a difference in my life. I feel so blessed to be caring for my home and my kids and my husband.

VAMommy said...

Thank you, for once again writing God's word. Your blog reminds me of biblical truths, and I am so happy to hear you reinforce God's Word. I have emailed you previously and do thank you for your encouragement. I am following God's will by faith and am an at home mom and do thank God for it. Thank you for spreading the word of God in your blog. Please know that it has made a difference in my life. I feel so blessed to be caring for my home and my kids and my husband.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

If you are employed outside the home, unless you are freelance in your own business, your movements will be restricted. You will be cut off, socially, and there is more liklihood of "losing yourself" or losing a sense of who you are, as there is less time to pursue creativity and to ponder, think, and pray. It is easy to be more mechanical when in a job where your choices are limited to the subject at hand. Homemakers have a great variety of work, adn the only reason I see of going to work is to either get out of housework or to make money. I don't buy the fulfillment thing at all, unless they are pursuing a rare fantastic job that no one else holds, that is above common work. Those positions, like Deborah and Esther, in the Bible, would be rare, not common. While it is possible to prove that Deborah was a judge, it does not instruct women to all be judges. Even then, young women recognized that to marry and have children was a more privileged opportunity than having to work outside the home. Finding a mate was considered a gift from God. Today though, we are all upside down in our thinking. We think working in the world is more important than the quiet pleasantries of the home.

LadyLydiaSpeaks said...

Wendy,

Contrary to what you assume, we do not have a "survival of the fittest" system in our country. Just because we do not embrace socialism (a polite name for communism)does not mean we lack a "safety net" for those who cannot look after themselves. We have had such a safety net from Biblical times and into the establishing of America, and that has been the honoring of parents. In most cases when a person has fallen in the cracks and cannot look after himself, you will find there was no parent relationship. It is fault on both sides. Children need to keep honoring their parents, because they become interdependent. We were not made to be "single" but to either have the family of the parents or the family of the young married people. There is no Biblical example for a bunch of single people leaving their parents and travelling around in packs, unless you are thinking of the Israelite army. Even then, most men married and there were fewer singles. They still had strong ties to their parents. If a young person is careful in his relationship at home, he will never need to be on welfare, he will never need to test the survival of the fittest theory, and he will prosper, as God has promised. We have fallen so far away from the honoring of parents and are suffering the consequences of it. If honoring of parents is truly in place, there is no need for welfare. Sending young people away from home nearly always results in poverty of different levels. Records show that when the pioneers came across the plains to Oregon, entire extend families came together--grandparents, parents, young marrieds, little children. Now young people are ultra independent and although it seems glamorous, it is indeed a big waste of money and time, that could be spent on the family home, or spent getting a young married couple established in their own home. The point is, that economy must be family-based and not state-based. Welfare comes from the family, and is extended to the children and up to the parents, and grandparents, but it is contingent upon them having a loving and honoring relationship. With state welfare, you don't have to have a relationship with the ones doling it out, and that is why people like it. It increases their ability to do as they like, without owning up to anyone. In a family based welfare, parents might help the children but the children will have to work and behave themselves and hold a civil tongue in their heads. If they are not compliant in this, they usually lose any benefits the family might extend. Wendy, as you probably have grown up in a system that exalts the pleasures of socialism, it will be hard for you to understand this. Look at colonial America and you will see how the parents gave their wealth to their children and the children used it for their own homes and didn't have to borrow from banks with high interest. Poverty also comes from exhorbitant interest, which does not exist when economy is family based. Weve all got to get back to the principle of honoring parents and sharing our wealth, rather than depending on the state. That way, we learn our lessons. If we know we can get hand outs from the state, we don't learn as quickly, (if ever ) While I understand there are some on welfare who read this blog, I am talking of a system much greater than welfare, and you can teach your children a much different way.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your article, and especially the inclusion of women without children. I think because we don't have children to care for, there is more pressure in society to be in the workforce.

I feel like a more liberated woman, however, by far than my more independent sisters-in-law who are (mostly) divorced and working full-time at laborious jobs. I do some very part-time work, but I am home much more and enjoy it.

I love to cook and use my time for money-saving and money management activities such as cooking from scratch and mending worn out things, etc.

I have a girlfriend who I attended college with who was a human ecology (home economics) major and she has won awards for her homemaking skills. Sometimes, I wish I had her background!

The Professor's Wife said...

I so, so, so agree with you! My last day at work is tomorrow, and then I am coming home!!!!! And a week after I gave notice, my sister asked me come take care of her because she is ill and her husband had to go out of town- if I had not put in my notice, I would not be able to go and help her!
Not having any kids yet, I will have the freedom to grow organic vegetables and help my husband in his work! And to write - I feel like the world has just been given me!

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