Thursday, October 12, 2006
Free to be Home
While the world impresses women with words of liberation and freedom, women at home are finding that true freedom is the freedom to be at home, to guard it, to keep it, to manage it, and to enjoy it. Feminists for years have taught their own version of slavery verses freedom. Slavery, they said, was being at home, and freedom was having a career. What the younger generation of women are finding, is that this was a totally false definition.What was supposed to be "freedom," became oppression. Women went in to debt and became a slave to the workplace with its regulatory life.
The wonder of such promises of freedom is that they actually force women to work. Many women say that although they wish to be home being a full time manager of the home and family, they do not feel they have a choice. So much for the elevated choice that feminism promised. Many women feel they have no choice but to work outside the home for a wage. Very few are working because they absolutely love dropping their children off at daycare, putting in long hours, going home to a dark house, scrambling to get the laundry and dinner, or paying all the expenses of going to work. Most women would like to have the freedom to be home and not be tied down to a job.
The feminists were thinking more about their likes and dislikes, then about their duties and responsibilities and the need for them in the home. Believing that being at home would stifle them or give them less economic advantage in their lives, many women went to work, only to find themselves slaves to time schedules and locations. They had no time for leisurely breakfasts with their families, and ended up shuffling everyone off to various institutions, and themselves off to a factory or an office or to work for the highway department managing traffic during road construction.
Many of us knew our grandmothers and great grandmothers and had knowledge of great-great grandmothers. They were not straining to go out and work. They did not demand to be "liberated" from their cozy homes. They didn't want to leave their children. They were not complaining that men had more freedom than they did. The men, actually, had a hard role to play because before this modern time with all the conveniences, many things had to be done without equipment and without electronics. The men worked literally by the sweat of their brow.
The wives and daughters and mothers who loved them, created a home base for them and helped them to be good providers by being homemakers. The only way that the powers-that-be could get the women of the next generations to reject the role of homemaking was to paint a bad picture of it. They were told by people like Betty F. (I never could spell that last name, and isn't it eerie how much it sounds like "freedom"?), that women were just assigned to drudgery jobs in dark houses and had no freedom and no status and they were required, unfairly to have children.
They were told that they shouldn't "have" to stay home and should be given a "choice," but that choice was usually a choice between different colleges and careers, not a choice between providing and home-keeping. The next generation of girls grew up in schools which regularly taught them to do something else, and played down the important role of homemakers, wives, and mothers.
Working outside the home was presented as freedom, while home living was presented as slavery. Now, most women who write in and say they are working, say that they feel that they have no choice. So, what happened that the great "choice" that they were given through education and career became a harsh taskmaster that they could not escape? The workplace became a place where women felt they had to go. They felt they had no choice in the matter. Many women say that they have no choice. Once they begin working, they cannot get out of it easily. It is very demanding and consuming. So much for the choice that the feminist leaders gave them. Now if you even suggest that you would like to go home full time, you are met with ridicule.
Relationships at work were second best to their own families, but they believed they were doing the right thing. They soon found that to join a company and work daily, was greater slavery and confinement, than to be at home seeing to the needs of a family. At least they were related to their family, and loved them.
It is easy to see, by looking over the many homemaking blogs, that many young women are not buying into the feminist doctrine that being home is being nowhere. They know they are somewhere important and that no one can take their place, emotionally, in the hearts of their families.
Even those without children, have a special feeling for the house they live in, puttering and cleaning and decorating, and making it the best atmosphere they could possibly want. She gets to choose the color of the drapes and the kind of furniture, and the meals that will be served, and usually only has to negotiate with one person, her husband. At work, she may have to go through many departments to get something done. At home, it is her decision and her hands that change things.
A homemaker can go when she wants, and stay when she wants. She is not confined to the perimeters of her house all the time. She can shop or have friends over, and even help her own husband in his work, if she wants to. At work, she will be let out of the building perhaps for 10 minutes twice a day and half an hour for lunch. She cannot talk to her loved ones any time she wants to. She will be restricted in many ways at work, that she is not, at home.
If she chooses to spend the day outside gardening, the homemaker can do so, and does not need permission from anyone. This is her domain, and she is the manager. At work, not everyone gets to be at the top of their ladder, but at home, the homemaker is in charge of almost everything to do with managing the home.
While feminists loudly proclaimed liberation to women, they liberated them right into slavery. They had to get up, often not fully rested, and head off to work in all kinds of weather, and sometimes when they weren't really feeling well or had a headache. They stayed there til the bell rang for quitting time, and then headed home. By the time they got home they didn't want to make any decisions or think about anything. They then got up the next day and started the whole thing all over again.
The jobs "at the top" were few, even for the men, and most of the women went to work in very non-glamorous jobs. Home can be as uplifting and fun as the homemaker wants it to be, because, like anyone with freedom, she does her best when given the freedom to be creative and discover what works best for her.
Being a homemaker certainly does not mean that she will not ever be able to pursue her talents. Many homemakers are also interior decorators, crafts experts,designers, artists, musicians, seamstresses and writers. Homemaking offers the time and the freedom to really pursue some of these goals, whereas the day at work will not only leave one exhausted, but dull their creative side, if they have to conform to the rules and regulations of the job. Free to be home, she finds more freedom than college or work ever allowed, and many women are taking advantage of it.
I still remember part of a poem that I read in an old magazine: "If I sing, or dig in the garden, I'm free: Remember, the choices were all made by me."
Thankfully, younger women are coming to realize that the mothers and grandmothers who were fooled by feminism, had much less freedom, and much less fulfillment in their 9 to 5 jobs. They were not free to be home.
Think about how free a woman at home really is. She can come and go as she needs to. She is free during the hours of the day when other people need help--for example, her mother, grandmother, her children and grandchildren, and those who could benefit the most from having her being available during the day. Sometimes, even children cannot help their aging parents, even though they live in the same town, or even next door to them, because they are gone during the day. Children especially, need a home life that is not full of the rush-rush music of "hurry up, it's time to go," and "Where are your shoes? We will be late!" Mothers at home create the stability and the happy childhood memories that children really need to carry the through the difficulties of later life. The really free woman is the one who does not have to be at work or bring in a paycheck.
Comments are temporarily open, as time allows.
I will not limit myself to just posting handy dandy helpful household hints. I hope to persuade as many whose hearts are open, to take the Titus 2 and the I Timothy 5:14 of the Bible seriously. I mean to plainly speak the real philosophy behind homemaking--not merely a bunch of interesting ideas. This blog is not for the faint of heart but for those who really want to stay home or eventually come home. I'm happy to see so many young women carrying out this work and doing it so well, but unfortunately, it was the older women who espoused this so-called "liberated woman" and it is often they who are the hardest to talk to.
If you don't want to be home, and don't ever intend to be home, and believe the feminist spin about homemakers, but don't believe the Bible is serious about the role of women, this blog is not for you. Comments will be taken at my leisure, and when they are turned off, my email is available firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please note: I am being particularly selective about the comments that I allow to stick, because they need to reinforce the Biblical standards, and not twist them or water them down or refute them, and I don't want to discourage young women who need the support to be homemakers. I realize a lot of women can't or won't stay home, and that has always been the case since the beginning of time. Even the Bible speaks about the women "whose feet do not stay home." If you have strong objections to the material here, you need to email me. If your comment does not get posted, it is either because I was not using the computer that day or because it required too long of a reply.