Saturday, December 17, 2005

No-Fault Marriage: A New Trend

I think people are sick and tired of the divorce culture that the "no-fault divorce" laws have created. It all sounds easy on paper, but when it actually happens, there are many other things to consider that were not made apparent at the first. There are his kids, your kids, visitation, holidays, airline flight arrangements, division of property, relatives that become ex-es, and broken-hearted children who often are shifted from one home to another throughout their lives. The children then have to deal with a step mother and a step father, as they are transported by court order from one home to another.

I was visiting with a group of women, a group that has met often over the years. One woman who was usually quite upbeat and pleasant, sat weeping audibly. She could hardly tell us what was wrong. As words of explanation came out between heaving sobs, she explained that her daughter-in-law had suddenly divorced her son, after 20 years, and run off with someone she barely knew, someone who has swept her off her feet, was younger than she was, had no job, and no place to live.

Throughout her heartbreaking story, I detected more sorrow for her daughter-in-law than for her son. This woman had no daughters, and had befriended her one-daughter-in-law as her own daughter. Over the years as my friend had grown older, the daughter-in-law had helped her in various aspects of her life: driving her to the grocery store, seeing to her doctor appointments, helping her with her house, and phoning her daily to see what she needed. She left behind two young sons, and the husband of her youth.

The mother-in-law continued to cry until she died. I saw this with my own eyes. The tragedy of divorce is that while many counsellors will tell the prospective divorcee that they must do what it takes to be happy, they are imposing grief and unhappiness on their own families and the families of generations to come.

The reasons for this divorce, and others, under the "no-fault" laws, are really ridiculous. I've been married for some time now, and have some experience with these things, and can tell you that most of the excuses are just common growing pains in marriage. I will grant that there are reasons for divorce, but for now, I just want to deal with the excuses that can be turned around into no-fault marriage.

1."We just don't get along."
2. "We've grown apart."
3. "We were too young."
4. "I want my freedom."
5. "We were miserable together."
6. "The kids hear us arguing all the time."
7. "

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