Sunday, February 05, 2006

Refuting No-Fault Divorce

Before we move on to some more good homemaking articles, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out some very good information regarding the threat of no-fault divorce. Click on left "Why We Don't Marry Anymore" and the comments. The comment by AJ in particular would be a good thing to print out and distribute to friends, ministers, social workers, and anyone concerned with the family. It refutes the point that no-fault divorce was going to make things better for the family.


Lydia said...

subject: Stolen Vows - now available - 5/25/02

from: Smart Marriages

Judy Parejko's book Stolen Vows is now available. To order,
go to: - $15, which includes shipping.

Judy, who has presented at past Smart Marriages conferences, will be
available to discuss and sign the book at Smart Marriages in July. Many who
hear about her book assume that she must have suffered from a really bad
divorce, herself. Not at all. Her parents weren't divorced and she's in her
one and only long marriage. She became a divorce activist from her work in
the system, from watching what happened to the families in her practice.
- diane

Here's the press release:

"Once upon a time there was Marriage . . . . and then there wasn't"
Stolen Vows: The Illusion of No-Fault Divorce and the Rise of the
American Divorce Industry

The recently released book, Stolen Vows, by Judy Parejko, tells how the
original 'good idea' embodied within no-fault divorce turned into a
national nightmare for unsuspecting families.

No-fault was meant to end the courtroom blame-game by providing a milder
'no-fight' option that would increase reconciliations. But those within
the legal community quickly saw the benefit that would accrue to their
own role in divorce - once no-fault? was turned into no stopping it?
and their unbridled power over the subsequent family decision-making.

Sharp dealing? and harsh verbal tactics became the divorce lawyer's
stock-in-trade, used to force reluctant spouses out of their marriages.
And for those with a legitimate grievance about breach-of-contract in the
marriage, there was no forum nor any justice.

The right-to-divorce became firmly established through case law, turning
no-fault into the accepted courtroom practice of forced? divorce. No
options for stopping the divorce were offered and no help for distraught
spouses was given. The need of children to be raised in an intact
family was brushed aside as incidental to the need to reach
settlement? so the divorce could be finalized. The Hospital-approach in
the original no-fault? plan was discarded and the Divorce Industry was
given the upper hand.

Going well beyond what was originally intended, no-fault was praised by
lawyer-groups and women's advocates, who claimed it freed women from
abusive marriages, although this argument was never part of the original
debate when the law-change was being formulated. Bringing a legal end to
already-broken marriages was the other argument for this new law, but no
one checked for vital signs before signing the death certificate.

The book suggests that those who now disparage no-fault are summarily
criticized as being ignorant or willing to condone abusive marriages. But
when the power to address wrongdoing was lost, the meaning in the
marriage promise was gone - stolen by those with a clear vested interest.
The book describes the array of professions benefiting from high divorce

Dialogue on the unforeseen effects of this change in the law has
deteriorated so badly that a tacit code of silence prevails which
prevents any change. When lawmakers try to return some protections to
marriage, their efforts are rebuffed. The result is that no substantial
change in the law has taken place, other than a palliative measure in the
form of Covenant Marriage, available in some states. But this token
offering only serves again to divert attention from the enormous personal
violation perpetrated on an unsuspecting public.

Stolen Vows lays out the plot from the time it first unfolded over thirty
years ago, telling how one particular player "who had his own needs in
mind" took charge of the process and delivered the final product. In the
end, marriage was devalued to a mere piece of paper with signatures that
meant nothing. The book predicts that the sleight-of-hand will soon face
the light of day and the outrage that will build is likely to shake
things up. Other trusted institutions will soon join the list that keeps
growing, which now includes the accounting profession and the Catholic

The purpose of Stolen Vows, a simple book that teaches its lessons using
The Emperor's New Clothes as its model, is to inform about what is now
going on - originally perpetrated in the name of "the public good".

The book, which is self-published, was written by someone who worked on
'the inside' as a family court mediator and who faced defeat at the hands
of those more powerful. Stolen Vows tells her own story as well as the
stories of spouses who faced the unchecked power of our justice system's
agents. But the book is mostly about how an entire Kingdom was fooled by
the tailors who said they were weaving a beautiful new cloth for the
Emperor's new clothes.

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Lydia said...

The story of Stolen Vows..........
Designed by those who would benefit most, no-fault divorce laws were rolled out across the country over thirty years ago. Wedding day promises lost all meaning when the newly-coined standard — Irretrievable Breakdown — replaced former ‘grounds’ for divorce. Within fifteen years each state had its own unique ‘no-fault’ language but the results were virtually the same when couples got to court. The judge was empowered to 'force' a divorce on an unwitting spouse and then divide up the family belongings — including the children. Lawyers used unscrupulous tactics to crush any lingering affection in order to deliver the final product — divorce. Capitalizing on the nation's growing misery, a profitable Divorce Industry arose and wiped away any lingering hope that was embodied in the original cornerstone of the divorce reform movement — the ‘Marriage Hospital’ that could attend to the Family Court 'casualties' and enhance opportunities for reconciliation. Learn how scoundrels got hold of this original high-minded ideal and turned it into a sinister scheme. Those whose role was to ‘protect’ the institution that is the foundation of family and society ravaged it instead. But a new wind is blowing in the land. Once the spell is broken and the veil of illusion is lifted, we can finally roll up our sleeves and begin the job of building the ‘Marriage Hospital’.