Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Look at the Past

It is sad to see so many young people who can't even fathom the strong marriage, home and family that was the norm just a few decades ago. Young women often write to LAF (Ladies Against Feminism) in the comments section and say that we are living in a dream world. Well, I would like these young women, who are usually students, to get out of their small world and expose themselves to more of the world than they are accustomed to. You will find that there are many young married couples really trying to make a go of it. They have had enough of broken homes. They have had enough of estranged families. They want something better.

Many of them grew up in divorced familes and want no part of it. Even they knew instinctively that there was something better than that. We all have pictures of our ancestors and records of family geneology, where people in families had the same surnames. We all hear the old songs recorded by crooners who promised to "change your name to mine, " or invited a woman to "have the same last name." Surely there has been left behind a record of that world of marriage for a lifetime and a house and family based economy. It cannot be erased. It is recorded in our scrapbooks, and our albums and our picture collections. It is recorded in books and stories. It is recorded in architecture.

I was in an antique store not long ago, looking at some of the old Victorian photographs of unknown people. I marvelled at how much you could tell about their lives just by looking at those pictures!! I do have a point of reference though, because I know who the people are in my own old photographs from the 1800's. They are interesting because in many of them, the people are standing in front of their houses with their families. The entire photograph represents a marriage, a home and a family, or maybe a farm that produced a living for that family. Husbands or wives appear together.

Queen Victoria knew what would happen if feminists got their way. She stated that men would refuse to take care of women and children and would let them work just like the rest. She said it would be chaos in her country. She called the feminist movement, "Wicked, wicked folly," and she was right. A century later, the U.S. Senate chaplain, Peter Marshall (whose wife wrote the story "Christy," upon which the movie series was based) preached a sermon called "Keepers of the Springs" here, in which he showed that feminism was only freeing women to swear, smoke and drink like a man, and it robbed them of their true feminine virtues that men had held so dear throughout history. The author, Taylor Caldwell write an article in "American Opinion" magazine here that from what she had seen of the Women's Liberation movement, it only made men more liberated to abandon women.

Young women, you need to know that life is more than what you perceive from the so-called women's studies classes in University. In fact, if they truly were women's studies, they would be honest and include all women and good women who raised happy families and helped their husbands be successful, and helped train up a moral generation. Young women, you need to contact the women at home and talk with them. You need to write term papers about them in an honest way. You need to do more research on the subject and not accept what is spoonfed to you through your education, which is sometimes called indoctrination.

Young women need to know that one of the reasons so many husbands and fathers wanted their women free to be home away from the stress of the workplace, was not to restrict them, but to protect them. Young women need to include in their curriculum the books in our book shelf at LAF: Come on: Be open minded. If you really love education so much, and are so open minded, be open minded enough to read some of these books and articles that I've mentioned here. You might also try the book by Gragalia that has been talked about so often on this blog.

Also, read "The Benevolence of Manners" (old title is "Simple Social Graces,") a book directed at women who think the feminist movement gave them so much, that shows the history of the Victorian women, their lives, their past times, their families, their marriages, their religion, their talents, etc. and compares them to women today. She named one chapter "How Far We Haven't Come." I remember the past: women like my mother enjoyed the freedom of being home and having their own little businesses at their leisure that they could run the way they wanted to. They were able to look after the house and the chldren without the pressure to perform that is so prevelant to day. They were accepted for who they were and what they were and not urged to "be more" which is all we hear today. They were happy. It was not a dream world.

You also need to read the Lady Lydia Speaks column at In addition, watch the videos that are suggested. Find all the books you can on creative home making. Homemaking consists of many things besides keeping house. Decorating is a real mood-lifter and can be incorporated into homeliving quite easily, without spending a lot of money. I will write on that sometime in the future.


Daddio said...

We're one of those couples trying to recapture the "past" after having been raised by "enlightened" fools... estranged families, multiple divorces, the whole bit. It's hard, we wish we had role models. But we pray that our children will recognize our efforts and do even better than we did, and within another two generations, the right order will be restored, at least in our family.

Lydia said...

I can remember the before picture: families waited at the airport for their widowed grandmother to visit. The "after" picture is a strange concoction of his kids/her kids and one estranged parent shipping one child to one parent and another child to another parent, on the plane by themselves.

Another "before" picture: women had time for housework, and didn't feel rushed. They had time for their children and didn't have to go anywhere.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Sherman, you write: "Young women need to know that one of the reasons so many husbands and fathers wanted their women free to be home away from the stress of the workplace, was not to restrict them, but to protect them."

I wanted to share with you a little confirmation of that. When my husband and I were newlyweds, he actually apologized to me! He said he was sorry he had debts and that I "had" to work.

He has worked very hard to finagle our debtload down to where now we don't "need" my income (all ten bucks of it this year *urgh*). He knows I'm a Type-A perfectionist stress-monster, so he wanted to make sure I didn't have too much to give myself an aneurysm over. I rather think that falls under the category of "love," not "oppressive dictator."

Feminism will never win so long as there are good men who love their wives--and God will see to it that there are!

Mrs. Bartlett

Lydia said...

Divorce ought to come with stern warnings, to ward off divorce for flimsy reasons. If you divorce, there will be his kids, your kids, both of your future kids, visitations, and even future court dates. It will not be easy. Yet the heartache of it is not advertised as loudly as it should be.

Young girls would do themselves a favor just to watch some old movie, like "It's a wonderful life," and listen to the songs of some of the quartets, about love and marriage. These songs presented a picture of a dream that most couples had: to be happily settled down for life, with one partner, and raise some good children; to have their own home and to prosper; to practice the standards of the Bible, and to see their children duplicate this in their lives.

Anonymous said...

And then there's the 60's song, "Five O'Clock World." It starts out with the singer talking about the usual gripes of the workplace, but at the end of the second verse, it abruptly changes:

"...But it's a five o'clock world when the whistle blows
No one owns a piece of my time
And there's a long-haired girl who waits I know
To ease my troubled mind
[A bit of rather impressive yodeling here]
In the shelter of her arms everything's okay
She talks and the world goes slippin' away
And I know the reason why I still go on
When every other reason is gone
In my five o'clock world she waits for me
Nothin' else matters at all
'Cause everytime my baby smiles at me
I know that it's all worthwhile

This song was recently covered again by Bowling for Soup, although I haven't heard it. They did it apparently the sentiment is not dead.

Sorry for commenting so much. I'm just hovering around because I'm also drying my hair, which is a ninety-minute chore...

Mrs. Bartlett

Milehimama @ Mama Says said...

We are one of those families making a 'go' of it. I'm 28 - still pretty young. So far, none of my siblings are divorced either (and no one seems to be heading in that direction!)
I remember how sad I felt when we moved to this new town. I met a father who took his son to the bus stop, and we were chatting. After discovering that I had 6 children, he informed me that he had 5 - his wife had just delivered a new baby. Finally! A family like ours... then he made sure to clarify that 2 children were "hers", 2 were "his", and this new one was "theirs". There were a total of 4 marriages (3 failed) between them. He said it almost as though he *didn't* want me to think he and his current wife were parents to all 5! And I can certainly understand - as soon as people find out I have 6 children, and married their father before having any of them, they immediately "dumb" down the conversation to include the poor, barefoot pregnant one (me). Too bad they don't realize that *I* am actually the smart one!

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,
Have you put together a presentation to give at local colleges that teach women's studies? Do you think they'd allow you to come present it? Or do you think doing such a thing would be "casting pearls", as the feminists out there have been known to rend homemakers to shreds with their mouths? Do you think that you could put together notes on a presentation and share it with other women willing to go to these colleges and speak?

One thing that I have done and may do again, God willing, with more zeal is have a booth at local events to give out free information on the importance of being a round-the-clock wife and mother and related subjects. This may be a way for other women to spread the word, if they are interested in having their own booths. Something interesting, though, that happened is that I was called by a church in our area and asked if I would like to set-up my booth at their community day celebration, as they had heard that I had a "family" type booth. When I told them what I offered at my booth, which included a brochure called "The Greatest Service that Any American Woman can Give Her Country" (this can be read at Ladies Against Feminism: that I encouraged women to be homemakers, they were offended and bragged about a female Army officer in their church who was a mother and how great she was (though she had left or was getting ready to leave her child for ONE YEAR to "serve" in the war), etc., etc. and told me that they'd have to have my brochures beforehand to look over and show our town mayor for approval. As it turns out, I wasn't allowed to have a booth there. I was polite about the whole thing, and none of my articles where extreme or harsh, but nonetheless, I was unwelcomed.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't that be something, if the college girls really decided to research our lives and publish papers on us!!

The man on our local morning talk radio show was bringing up a recent study that concluded that even modern women would like to be dependent upon men, and that they look for men whom they instinctively feel will protect them. I need to look for this study so I can quote the source.
But, surprise, surprise, we are hard-wired it seems, to be in a covenant relatioship after all.

So eventually, I am hopeful that the natural order will prevail. After all, if its God's idea, He has a way of winning out. In the meantime, let's continue to be good examples for the world.

Lydia said...

Mrs. Bartlett, thanks for reminding me about music of the past. While we are looking at the past when life was more family centered, I am reminded of some songs I heard from the 50's, sung by jazz and crooners, and even the rock and roll singers. They were about the oldest dilemna in the world: how to find a girl that you would settle down with. In spite of the fact they were considered rock tunes, at least they were about normal relationships with men and women! One song is about a girl a guy admires and it is called "One and Only You." Now we have songs we can't even understand, and if we see the words, we are horrified.They are not about the love between a man and a woman at all. They are not about everlasting love. Of course, they would not be. They are a reflection of the broken lives that the song writers see around them. Another thing that I noticed about the 50's "crooners" and the groups that put out albums, was that these groups also put out Christmas albums with Christian songs on them. Even Elvis Presley did a gospel album. But back to the actual songs of the time. So many of them were very sweet and were about love. Love and Marriage was one of these songs.

Lydia said...

Mrs. Hunter: I did offer to go to a school once but I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to do that because I was not offerring a career opportunity and that housewife was not a career. What we need is a film and a book that shows the woman how to manage her husband's income and how to make a profit and an investment with her husband's income, so that they both will prosper while she stays home. I am sorry to say that is what is needed, because in the past, our mothers and grandmothers managed this almost as if by instinct. My parents raised 7 children (yes, all from the same family ;) and came away better off. Nowdays families are more likely to be embattled by the entire experience. But we can restore the family as it should be. It just takes one determined couple. There does not have to be a group. Just one couple can influence a great many.

Lydia said...

One determined couple with a blog would be very powerful.

Anonymous said...

Dearest lady Lydia,

Yes yes yes and Amen! Your article hits the proverbial nail fair and square on the head! Even in the world of community welfare, its all one way - their way. funny isn't it that whenever one attempts to use the 'choice' argument of feminism to highlight the validity of a woman's choice to follow her calling as per Titus 2, Proverbs, Genesis, etc that the argument is all of a sudden as if by magic no longer valid - YEAH GIRLS, THE CHOICE IS ONLY ONE WAY! If woman's studies were in fact set up in accordance with rigourous accademic principles of examining all sides of the 'argument' objectively we would indeed see women of the past who built your nation and mine with their injinuity, grit, determination, intellegence, and principles held up as true heroins of womankind - Women like the wives of our pioneers (for us here in australia, Caroline Chisolm, Mrs. MacQuarrie, the squatters wives, the gold-rush wives, the wives of our nation's founders) who never saw their position as one of repression. I'm sick and tired of TV doccumentaries, radio shows, books etc always portraying women who achieved as rebellious, feministic trailblazers when in fact, many of them though their achievements were great, performed their mighty works from the solid rock foundation of the home!!!!!! Sick to death of revisionist history!!!!! (yells at computer in exasperation). People wonder how our Grandmothers did it...well, efficiently. Not only did they learn from their grandmothers and mothers but they had the role models of women in church, wives of prominent figures, leaders etc and a school education which placed emphasis on these skills even in my generation - and I'm only 36. That's how they learned. It's how I learned; much later than I would have wished admitedly, but through the instruction of one or two significant women I learned. And for those who wonder about nurses, midwives etc, my own grandmother was a nurse. In those days, right up untill the eighties here in NSW ( when big universities took the responsibility from them), a young lady who wished to enter into nursing was attached to a hospital who provided not only her professional training but accomodation and so onn (with very strict moral guidelines about how she was to act an dcarry herself after hours - with strict penalties). many of these hospitals wer funded or direct outworkings of various churches (Catholic hospitals dedicating entire orders of nuns to this age-old calling - yes hospitals have been around in one form or another since ancient times). Christian principles which formed the background of these institutions and the larger populous determined the moral atmosphere within their wals. Upon marrying, ladies would either scale back their work (the understanding family came first being the norm rather than exception) with refresher courses availabel if and when they wished to return upon their children growing up. In some instances, they'd marry the local doctor and support him in practise well able to focus her primary attention upon the family - sons and dauhters following in the family tradition, building up the family dynasty as it were.(not the gigantic supermarket medical centres of today). When I was a teen, I took music lessons from two women, one mature, one in her twenties, who both worked from home (the former out of their family home, the latter from beneath the roof of her father - a wonderful, funny, faith-filled man; a teacher by trade in the field of mathematics). The latter's sister was married if memory serves me correctly and no longer at home. Both women were active in preparing students for concerts, eistedfords, worked in with the local music conservatorium all without even a second thought about covanentalism - living it as naturally as they breathed. These weren't ignorant sheltered mice but powerful, beautiful, intellegent, sophisticated women who married faith and profession beautifully - their homes delightful, their style impeccable!As for presenting such truths to this generation of students, I fear most institutions (Christian and secular alike) here in Australia anyway would not permit such presentations - even guest-speaker slots. I believe the internet provides the last bastian for women such as we - deeply sad so many of us are isolated by geography - Oh, if only there could be 'Home Living' and LAF conventions in the same way there are Star Trek, 'Age of Sail' or even Elvis conventions.

In closing, I love the song Mrs. bartlet quoted - brilliant; and, did you know, the only grammies Elvis ever received were for his gospel work - never getting a single one for his secular work (a faith-filled good man, if only he'd stuck to gospel, he'd probably still be alived today and inspiring so many through his songs) if you can get it, his album of gospel music with the Jordanairs is excellent - put it on and you'll have a spring in your step all day!


Mrs. e.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your answer, Lady Lydia!

A wife is in a position that no other holds in her husband’s life as far as his income and the family’s financial security. While I know nothing about investing financially with my husband’s paychecks, such as the stock market, land, etc. I have some information on saving money, for the stay-and-love at home wife and mother. One of the biggest ways to save unimaginable amounts of money both now and in the future (an investment to be sure) is by taking the family’s health very seriously and preventing illness as much as possible. This is done by planning and implementing a healthy menu, making sure everyone stays fit, having a knowledge of home remedies and spotting symptoms quickly, etc., and most importantly, by prayer and seeking God's righteousness. This one area is worth years of study and implementation, and this gift of health will not only save one’s husband money, but will also save the children and their future husbands or wives untold amounts, too – it’s definitely a gift that keeps on giving! Also, a family’s mental and emotional health must be kept in good condition, which also falls greatly to the mother’s responsibility and is included in healthcare.

Another area is food. Growing an organic garden saves so much money! A wife and mother can buy a package of approximately $2.49 seeds from Seeds of Change Organics and from this very small amount of money, added to it the cost of watering and perhaps a little organic fertilizer (or she could make her own free compost), she will save her family hundreds or thousands of dollars a year. And she can also, by using organic seeds, let some of her plants go to seed so that she will have seeds for years to come. This healthy, wholesome food saves on the family food budget as well as the health budget.

There are also the areas of clothing, saving electricity, taking care of things properly, buying quality instead of quantity products, and many more things that a woman can do to help her family succeed financially.

I apologize for the length of this and will quit now. Have a super night, Lady Lydia and those who may happen to read this, and THANK YOU, Lady Lydia, for such a super blog!

Most sincerely,

Anonymous said...

Im going to pray about that! "one determined couple" as you posted are right! I believe we can restore the family. All things are possible with God. Prayer changes things! Keep prayin..


Lydia said...

People weren't so dependent upon the medical establishment. In the past, they took care of most of their health problems, as it was believed that nutrition, rest, and fresh air were paramount to good health. One way to keep healthy is to avoid getting dependent upon pharmacueticals. These substances attack the organs of the body, the teeth, and do untold damage to the mind. The statin drugs are particularly dangerous. One aspect of them is that they change the chemical properties of the saliva in the mouth. Normally, saliva is part of the natural re-enamelling of the teeth. Children on things like ritalin, will have problems with their teeth. Adults on statin drugs may have their teeth fall out. A drug-free life is a healthier life, because even the poorest health does not suffer the added side effects of the drugs.

Anonymous said...

Dearest lady Lydia,

I simply cannot keep away! Upon reading your comment concerning preventative health measures, what we've seen developed in most nations over the past fifty years is a 'Sickness' system misleadingly badged a health system where far too much time and energy are spent upon dealing with problems once they've been let run to their inevitable conclusion rather than focusing more attention in the area of prevention. yes, there ARE excellent preventative health programmes dealing with issues such as heart disease etc, but all too often, it's all administered after the big event. health systems globally could save squillions (not to mention huge benefits for the well-being of individuals and families) if more attention was paied to areas such as nutrition etc. An old health reform addage runs like this:



Trust in Divine Providence

yes, common sense does prevaile (for instance, a fair skinned person would only spend ten minutes in the mearly morning or late afternoon sun in short sleeves etc but cover and stay in the shade during the middle of the day. There will always be accidents, serious medical conditions and disabilities which the best health regime cannot prevent, children born with special needs and the like, but if we can do the groundwork ourselves, we'll be better able to deal with the onslaught if it happens. If you want to know more about responsible health, the multi-billion dollar jugganaut that is the global pharmaceutical industry etc, you can't go past the books of Philip day (google Credence Publications for more info). I've met this man personally and a more humble, wise and healthy advocate for what lady Lydia is suggesting I cannot find.

On the lighter side, my husband and i have just this summer started a herb and vegetable garden (mostly potted with a small in-ground supplimentary garden, as we live in a tiny townhouse) and it's wonderful to be able to go out back and pick lettuce and herbs that go straight into the salad bowl or cooking pot imediately rather than being taken from a package that has been in storage for a week, the original product handled by too many people and sprayed etc with any number of nasties. We've also got a lemon tree, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, capsicum and spinach coming up (though the lemon tree is being shaken up a little by o the changeable weather).

Blesings, and keep up the good work!

Mrs. E.

Anonymous said...

I just came across this blog the other day, and I love it. I was raised in a rather old-fashioned way, and I haven't got a clue what young women are good for these days. I've had dates *brag* (!!) to me about how they don't cook, don't do housework, and don't want kids. It makes me sick. I'll die alone before I marry a woman like that. If all I wanted was sex, I could pay for that directly, without the rest of the hassle.

On a slightly different subject, it must not be every lady who's efficient at home-making. Case in point, my mother raised two boys, did all the housework, all of the bookkeeping for my dad's business, and we always had lots of company over. She still had plenty of time to relax and indulge in hobbies. Contrast that to my sister-in-law. My brother is running two businesses, working 14-hour days quite often, does his own books, all the cooking, helps a lot with the babies, and still, SIL acts like she carries the bloody world on her shoulders -- and demands he do more to help around the house as he collapses from exhaustion. She calls him while he's working to come home and fix dinner! Ridiculous.

Anyway, preach on, Sister!

Lydia said...

If my grandmother came back to this earth she would think she was on another planet than the one she knew.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Bartlett --

Yes, I am in the US of A, and I'd love to hear your solution!

Mike, the anonymous gentleman

Anonymous said...

Praise the Lord that He can make good out of anything and everything. We now have the option to choose to stay home. When many women did not know what a blessing it was since that was all they had, we can see so clearly what blessings God has bestowed upon us-what a blessing it is to follow in the path that God has prepared for us as keepers of our homes.

Amy Howard said...

I would like to comment as one who has a past in feminism. I was one of these young college girls of which you speak. I was convinced that I should "have it all," that I should be independent, fully "self-actualized," and be "career-minded" if I wanted to be truly happy.

Guess what? All of it was a sack of lies unloaded upon my young mind by women at the university I attended and who had nothing real and true to spout. All they really had was anger. It is truly sad when I look back on that time and reflect upon their unfulfilled lives. They operated under the pretense of living fulfilled lives, but when one is truly fulfilled, the pain and anguish so often seen, melts away with the true fulfillment of living out the role for which one was DESIGNED.

As much as these women want to pass on this legacy of feminism to liberate the next generation, what they are really doing is selling them into the bonds of slavery... into a yoke they were never meant to bear.

I pray that the college girls who read this post and all of the ensuing comments will hear the truth. I am speaking as one with experience in these matters.

Feminism is a lie. It will destroy your life. It is all a vain attempt to thwart God's created order and will, in the end, be shown for what it is: false.

I now live the life the Lord intended for me to live; the role I was designed to play. Am I joyful? Yes! Am I content? Yes! Am I fulfilled? Yes, yes, and again I say, yes! The creativity, resorcefulness, and intellect I use on a daily basis is far beyond anything I was ever allowed to do, have, or be in the feminist world. And I have a superb marriage as well!

Leave behind the lies you are being told. Do some real research of your own. Get out of the dorm, or that campus apartment, and walk the streets and knock on doors of those women you see staying home with their children. We are everywhere. Go to a homeschool convention and interview women there. Go to churches and ask around. We are a happy lot... because we follow God's order. What would it hurt you to ask the questions and find out your teachers, and maybe even your own thoughts, are wrong? Isn't this what an education is all about? Bending your mind to examine things from EVERY angle to get the full story? This is what scientific theory is supposed to be. Have any of you tried to examine thses issues from this perspective rather than just accepting the very unscientific evidence with which you are presented on your campus?

In God's love and with prayer for the grace to discover the truth so it may set you free,
Mrs. Jim Bob Howard

Lydia said...

For young girls, feminism almost always begins in college (after being given a start in public schools). Besides studying about the way life "should" be, they are also living a very altered life that does not prepare them for real living, especially living at home. College is a rush rush affair that does not pay much attention to good housekeeping, a skill that is always valuable. They pay little attention to nutrition, often living on crackers and catsup or top ramen for months, in order to save money. One lady I know says she slept in her clothes and that many girls went to class in their pyjamas. What kind of life is this preparing them for? A very selfish one. College has its own language: my studies, my grades, my exams, my career, my life, my future, my boyfriend, my my my. It is self-centered. I've not seen girls coming out of colleges wanting to help a husband and children along life's way, by full time devotion to the home and marriage. That is, unless they are geting paid. It is perfectly okay for them to put their kids in daycare while they go teach at a school.No wonder so many young women are on pills. They must feel so unbalanced and so anxious in this kind of life! You are right--it is all lies, and what is worse is that they pay so much for it. This money could be put to much better use, and gain interest in an investment.

Anonymous said...

I read a secular book on wealth creation and management which stated that the single most important thing that a man can do to guard his wealth is to marry wisely and stay married to the same woman throughout his life. No other scheme such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds or portfolios works as well.


Anonymous said...

Dearest ladies,

yes, it's me again!! Upon reading the abundance of comments aroused by this issue, I've a few more ideas to put to the floor. All one needs do is look at the strong women of the past (made strong by their trust in our Lord and Saviour) who battled the adversity, the spirit of indifference even then making its mark on the establishments of society and so on; people like Mrs. Fry, who dedicated her life to assisting the plight of English woman prisoners toward the end of the eighteenth century or Sojourner Truth, a tireless US anti-slavery advocate and so on. these women (as did those I highlighted in earlier entries) grasped hold of true 'girl power' - that which is released when we ladies take hold of God's wonderful role for us as set forth in holy scripture. he didn't prescribe this sacred and marvellous calling for nothing. As for anxt and unhappiness of college educators, I have encountered not a few women in my spiradic forrays into the study of community welfare over the years who were deeply unhappy; usually divorced, usually of that age group who came up in the seventies when radical feminism was at its zenith. Only have I ever met one who was truly balanced - an american lady, happily married, who had her field of interest in the religious culture of the US, who revelled in her children and could not get over the response of her colleagues and friend when, horror of horrors, she decided to have another - and quit the sphere to take care of the little one - also happily married who genuinely fostered both sides of the argument as it were and gave both sides the right to be heard without reproach. she was however the only one. For those who do wish to gain a tertiary education (Patriarch's path gives some really good solid grounding on how this can be done without compromising to the world's standards) the avenue of correspondance is a good one (and freely offered to both city and country folk in Aus). As lady Lydia has so eruditely articulated, education, in the formal sense of the word, is merely a means to an end - there is nothing preventing any lady (or gentleman for that fact) from life long learning - it's all there, the local library, the internet, soundly principled media presentations and so on; in fact, what we're all doing when we log onto this blog, LAF, PP or any other website is educating ourselves; equipping ourselves with knowledge and skill to further our abilities and deepen our insights. Indeed, self-education requires a far higher level of discipline and intellectual stamina than merely fronting up to class, reading the prescribed text and playing the academic game - giving it back to 'em in a manner they deem acceptable (ridiculously easy though sadly not that accademic - Personal experience speaking here incidentally). Once armed with facts, well versed in both sides of the story, we are much better able to defend our position in humility, wisdom and quiet objectivity. How does the proverb go? 'The fool rages yet the wise man understands'; and yes, folk will display much hostility when threatened; though they'll never admit to it in a month of sundays.

Finally, we are called as christians to steep ourselves in the Word of God; to know it intimately. This education and wisdom, letting the Bible speak for itself, the Holy Spirit as one's guide...James 1; 5 "If any of you falls short in wisdom, he should ask God for it and it will be given him, for God is a generous giver who neither refuses nor reproaches anyone." so, any lady who feels still uncertain in her own mind concerning the matters revealed here, be not afraid to pray for wisdom, for God will not censure you for doing so; on the contrary, if you ask in genuine faith for this wisdom, it will be grandted . No doctorate in Theology cqan do this, but the omniscient Creator of the universe is well and able.


Mrs. E.
PS: to Mike in the US, let your request be made known unto God", and let him work upon your heart and in your life that His will for you might be fulfilled.

Anonymous said...

Mike, worked to find my husband a wife who likes to cook, etc. It found me a good husband, too.

A little pricey, but a good investment.

Mrs. Bartlett

Anonymous said...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

With Christmas merely two weeks away, I can't help but provide you with some lovely home made gift ideas that are easy, straight forward and will be wonderfully received by all.

Preserved Lemons or limes

Take one decent-sized airtight glass preserving jar and layer the bottom with a few good handfuls of coarse sea-salt. Take as many lemons as you'll need to fill it tightly-packed and cut in quarters length-ways without slicing through altogether. Into these, press two tablespoons of the salt inside, squeeze together gently and place into the jar- packing them as tightly as possible. You may wish to add black peppercorns throughout the layering process. Pour some lemon juice into the jar over the top and add warm water till the jar is full. Seal and keep in a cool dark cupboard for 30-40 days and nights before use. Don't be tempted to stir, shake or prod; and they'll look worse before they look better. If you have an over-abundance of lemons or limes, you may like to substitute the warm water for the juice of the above. Due to their unique and intense flavours, these are best made either all lemons or all limes only. To use, take out a wedge, discard the pulp and very finely julienne the peel; adding it as a beautiful garnish to salads. Wedges or julienned rind are a traditional addition to Moroccan dishes such as couscous or tagine.

Marinated Feta

take a pretty jar (old jam jars are ideal) and loosely fill with cubed feta, intersperced with lemon and just a tiny bit of orange zest, peppercorns, thyme and bazil (Opal basil is particularly striking). Pour in either extra light or even extra virgin olive oil and fill up to the top (don't worry if some of the cheese is pressed tight to the inside of the jar - the vacuum will keep it from spoiling). Store this also in a cool dark place for a few weeks; doesn't need refrigeration until opened and is lovely with olives, in salads or watercress and tomato tart.

Foolproof pastry for fruit-mince pies (and other sweet short-crust baked treats

Take one cup both of plain and cornflour into which has been added half a cup of icing sugar. Rub in enough soft butter until the mix resembles golden breadcrumbs. To this, add one egg and combine mixture into a paste. Slowly add more plain flour till the mixture forms a smoothe moist lump which leaves the sides of the bowl. Refrigerate in a plastic bag or damp clean tea towel for half an hour before halving and rolling out thinly. Use a scone, tall glass or biscuit cutter to make the rounds. Press into a pre-buttered rounded patty tray. To ensure crisp bases on the tarts, brush the insides with beaten egg-yolk and sprinkle with fine semolina. this will in no way effect the flavour, but insulate the pastry while cooking and soak up any excess liquid. this works for delicious pear tartlets, apple tart, fruit mince pies; anything you wish. the insulation method is effective in both sweet and savoury short-crust cookery.

I've just been enjoying a brilliant cookery DVD by Rick Stein called 'Food Heroes'; Brilliant BBC production and am struck by the number of wonderful traditional families working together in the old fashioned manner keeping traditional farming, baking, fishing, curing, cheese-making, dairying and other fast-being-lost cullinary ideals alive - not to mention passing down skills and businesses from one generation to another - It's brilliant, the recipes are easy, they work and are delightful - rather goes hand in hand with what we're on about here, I think.



Mrs. E.

Lydia said...

Here is a letter from a girl who uses the braille computer. She is looking for the other blind lady on this blog:

Dear Lady Lydia, Firstly, thank you for your wonderful blog. My
name is Tiffany and I have read your blog since you started. I'm
totally blind and access the internet through a device called a
Braille Note. I can access almost any website, send and receive
email and have a library address book and journal right in my
lap. I love being at home and knowing that what I'm doing really
is a conscious and blessed calling that many more women could
succeed at if they only tried. Before I ramble too much more,
here is my question. I cannot comment on your blog with the
braille note so I thought I'd write to you. Does Mrs Eliot have
a blog? I would love to correspond with her. I believe that we
are truly Sisters in the Lord. I have long been seeking
fellowship with a fellow blind lady who chose to stay home and
knows what that calling means. I was inspired by her article,
All Things Are Possible, on laf, of which I'm an avid reader.
Thank you again for your support and guidance. Blessings, Tiffany.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. E and Mrs. Bartlett -- duly noted, and thanks.

One of my favorite quotes on education comes from Mark Twain: "I never let my schooling stand in the way of my education." Anyone who can read, and wishes to learn, may educate himself on terms and times of his own choosing, thanks to public libraries and of course the internet. Why pay tens of thousands of dollars to earn a degree that is little more than proof you've endured four years of brainwashing and turned in your homework on time?


Mrs. Julie Fink said...

Thanks for the encouraging word. Julie Fink (

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Bartlett,
Hi! I would like to contact you, but since you don't have a blog, I can think of know other way to contact you but through here. Would you e-mail me at Lady Lydia, I hope it's okay that I am leaving this comment.


Milehimama @ Mama Says said...

Mike (and any other young men reading)
If you are looking for a decent young woman, please look for her in a place a decent young woman would be! My BIL always bemoans the fact that his girlfriends are selfish, worldly, and that he'll never find a wife...but he date people he met at bars, nightclubs, etc.
My brother, on the other hand, met his wife at a wedding. She had a business sewing gowns and handmaking veils, as well as making wedding cakes. She took some classes at community college, and opened up shop (word of mouth advertising only). So, before they even went on one date, he knew she valued marriage, could sew and could bake.
My advice - start buying your bread at bakeries - and look for young women who work there. Start volunteering at church, and befriend the young ladies who are on the same committees. Start having a seamstress take up your pants or sew on buttons, and look out for single young women!

Anonymous said...

milehimama -- You in Denver, too, then?

My dad's advice was "Don't go looking for a peach in a lemon orchard," so I already know too much about the women who hang around in bars! I don't care much for those environs anyhow.

But I don't belong to a church either, primarily because I can't really stomach any sort of organized/commercialized religion. Seems like most of them are more interested in squandering my money helping folks who don't belong in the country at all, or they're so busy "tolerating" everything and everyone that they completely lose sight of their function as moral compasses for the people they allegedly serve. Not to mention some of the recent scandals in Colorado Springs...! I've thought of it though -- just to suck it up for a while and find a mate. I know that's the best place to look. A quandary indeed!

Milehimama @ Mama Says said...

If you join a church, insincerely just to meet women, and woo a Christian woman with no intention of having a Christian home or providing Christian leadership, that makes you a "cad".
There are plenty of other places in Denver (I moved recently, but grew up there and lived there for over 20 years). The museums have "Very Special Arts" programs, where volunteers help disabled children with art projects and appreciation - there are all manner of tree lightings and openings and festivals that all call for volunteers to help decorate and prepare. Every town has a summerfest, and usually there are quilt contests, jam and jelly contests, craft booths where enterprising men and women sell their salsa, their doilies, their beadwork.
Think about what things you want in a wife, what type of things would make you comfortable in a home, and "go to the source".
And stay off Larimer Square. Unless you are dating a sous-chef.

Anonymous said...

My caution about going to church just to find a wife is that it's giving her a false illusion. Attending church may be very important in her life but once you marry and you want to quit going (having achieved your goal and having no further use for that church), it could cause conflict.

I think eharmony - where you're upfront from the beginning - sounds better.

Anonymous said...

I had a suspicion that I would be misunderstood, so I should have made it more clear.

I did not say that I am not a Christian, or would not have a Christian home. My upbringing was very strongly Christian, despite the fact that my family were not what you would call church-goers. Have we forgotten what Martin Luther and the Reformation were about? The idea was that people should not need priests to translate our supplications to God into Latin so He would understand; nor need a church to guide their lives when they can read their own Bibles. Yet still today, there are those who insist one cannot be a faithful Christian without attending a 501(c)(3) properly tax-exempt church with its own building every Sunday. Your faith is not kept in a locker in a building where you go to retrieve it weekly, but in your heart. The church group, as I see it, is more like a social club of more or less like-minded people. But meeting people happens in groups, thus, again, the quandary.

Deception is not what I am suggesting, but rather the avoidance of it. Besides, (to anonymous) I do not recall any scripture which instructs a wife to place loyalty to church or pastor above her husband. FWIW. And no doubt I'm still going to be misunderstood....

Anonymous said...

I believe we do not have to attend a proper church building every time it is open...but we are instructed in the Bible I believe in, to come together to uphold each other and be together and worship God. God knew we needed each other. God and your beliefs are in your heart but you can surely be helped emotionally and spiritually by hearing the word spoken and discussed by others etc. Also on another note churches are not just a building and its people but they are an outreach to their community. Most churches do much to help in their communities and when you go to a church and or help with its activities you also learn about others lives and get much mentoring in a good way by observing if by no other means. This is both a social volenteer time and a learning time for you. I have "done it alone" and been part of a church and being part of a group of like minded people is sure the way I would choose having tried both ways. There is a difference. The world is full of people that do not hold your beliefs and if you realize it or not they can and will influence you in ways you may regret. Take time to know people who hold onto the beliefs you cherish too. I hope I have not spoken out of turn but felt I should say something to anonymous. I do not mean to be harsh in any way..just to add a thought.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, I forgot to add I am sorry you have found some churches that do not seem to follow the principles of Christianity...I hope you take a chance and try others. Try to keep an open heart. Ask around I am sure you could find one that is more in line with things. We have all been heart sick to read and hear of some of the goings on but there Are many good churchs out there with people that you would feel like being a part of. Who uphold your values and believe strongly in the things you do. If you attend formal church often or not once you do find that special someone please just make Sure that special lady knows how you feel and understands why and agrees all the way. That way there will be any discention or hurt feelings later. As you know you need to be on the same page in all important matters. You wrote so intelligently. I hope again that you do not feel I am stepping on your toes or speaking out of turn. I just wanted to speak from a woman's heart. Please do not take anything I have said wrongly ..

Anonymous said...

I understand your views and I did not equate attending church with being a Christian. Nevertheless, if you are using a church to find a wife, you may marry someone to whom church is an important part of her life. To then use your position to demand she stop attending is hardly conducive to a happy marriage.

Anonymous said...


I understood what you meant, and I'm sure now it's been cleared up for everyone! What the ladies meant themselves was that to attend a church under what might be called--justly or unjustly--"false pretenses" could cause more trouble than one would think.

To be honest, a young woman who finds her church to be quite worthwhile--for right or wrong reasons--is going to be a trifle upset if suddenly her suitor indicates that he intends the family to stop going. If you put it on the basis of "choose me or choose worshipping God" (as she would see it), the kind of woman you WOULD want to marry, wouldn't want to marry YOU!

Just something to avoid. Go to a church not for the ladies, but for the doctrine. We're in the same boat, you and I, as far as not finding a local church in line with Scripture. There are some out there--I've heard of them at other blogs!--but they're getting hard to find.

(I recognize it was also an offhand comment, when you said that, not a serious intention. But since you bring it up...)

Mrs. Bartlett