Living the Dream

Those who have come home to make the home and family the center of their lives may find that it is not as easy as it seems.

There are many facets to the home. It isn't all about house keeping and it isn't all about home making. There are greater challenges than one can explain--all the way from how to get everything done in a day, to handling spur of the moment crises. However, home making cannot be measured by performance. The main ingredient in this job is the woman at home. Even if she is not really feeling well enough to keep house, her presence is needed and felt.

No one can quite explain it, but there is a completely different atmosphere in a home that has been lived in and guarded during the day compared to coming home to an empty house. The importance of the wife at home can not be minimized. Her presence gives the members of the home a feeling of assurance.

One thing that is important is for the wife to maintain her position at home without apology. She must exhibit confidence, even when she hears negative remarks. She should take pride in her house and in the people that she is helping. Sometimes, even the friends she loves and serves, will question what she is doing.

Rather than get into the politics of why she is a full time homemaker, she can show her reason for staying home by the things she does at home. It is a lengthy, involved thing to get tangled up with other people arguing about why she should or should not stay home. It is better to just get busy and do things that make the home a refuge from the world.

Do not worry about what other people are saying. You might even be attacked face to face with words that are very demeaning, and words that are dishonoring, from your own family and friends. However, you need to stand your ground if you really want to live the dream. Just live it, and refuse to argue about it. If you get embroiled in a debate about the home and family, you waste a lot of your energy and will not be able to focus on what really needs to be done. The safety of the children, the beauty and comforts of the home, and the wholesome meals, are a far better way to prove that what you are doing is right, than arguing about your right to stay home.

Looking around your house at the end of the day, there will be times when you will be filled with gratefulness for being able to be there. You may thank God that He not only enables the woman to be home, but commands it. It is not a choice but a duty, but duty becomes choice when the heart is convicted to do what is right. Although she can thank her husband for his care and protection, it is God who designed her to care for home and family.

No person "lets" a woman stay home. It is part of the divine order of things. It is part of the nature of women to care for the family and the home. It is a position appointed by God. No one "lets" a man work by the sweat of his brow, and be a provider and protector of his family. It is part of his right as a human being. It is part of his God-given make up as a man. To deny him the freedom to work and earn a living would be to deny him the very thing that makes a man a real man. To deny the woman the freedom to manage the home and the family, is to deny her natural womanhood. Although I do show appreciation for my husband's provision and for the work he does, I do not thank my husband for "letting" me stay home, because I would stay home whether he approved or not. The command to do so comes from a higher authority than him. No one has to ask permission to do their God-given duty.

Getting back to living the dream: There is no point in trying to prove your point with people. Save your breath and put your energies into making your home the kind of place that you imagine it was when most women stayed home. One thing that helps is a reward system. This is a way can pay yourself each week in some way, whether it be a fresh bouquet of flowers from the grocery store, or the luxury of a trip to your favorite fabric store.

There will be some men--our sons, brothers, fathers and husbands, who will need to be re-educated about why it is essential that women make the home their career, but they will only believe what they see. The rest is just a lot of talk. I believe that it takes a lot out of you to fight for your position in life. Instead of doing that, just do the things that you came home to do.

When I was little, mothers of the era would tell children who wanted to criticise, that if all they could find to do was criticise, there was plenty of work around that needed to be done. If they criticised, they would be put to work. Homemakers always have long, long lists of things that could be done. When someone challenges their role at home, they could get out this list and say, "I would be willing to debate this with you maybe at another time, but first, I could use your help getting some of these jobs finished."

In general, just being happy and content at home goes a long way to telling without words, why you need to be home. The atmosphere of your home will also be very revealing. Those who enter into it will know that there is something very different going on there. The way you care for your things, and the pride you take in your family, will be a greater testimony than a long discussion trying to prove you are right. I always say that if someone wants to argue with me about it, they will win the argument, because they are better at arguing than I am.