Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Do What is Good and Right

I have had this poem in an old book and wanted to share it with the daughters, wives, mothers and homemakers who are not trying to have careers outside the home, and who are putting their efforts into making their families strong and good and faithful to Biblical standards. I know how much it can deflate you when people say cruel things about your role in life. I've certainly had my share of those comments: "You are living in a dream world." "If you stay home, you are condemning those who don't." "You are insane." "You are lazy." Etc.

I can imagine just how debilitating it is to hear it from people that you would expect would support you. Lest you be discouraged, there is no mistaking the Bible's teaching on the role of women. God's gave them the divine role of guiding and guarding the home. Nowhere did He command them to be the famiy providers, especially if there was an able-bodied husband in the home.

I realize that you are going against the tide in this culture, but being home will help restore the family to what it should be, and make children more loyal and families less likely to disentegrate.

"Be sure you are right, and then stand.

At first, you will be denounced, and then you will be deified.

At first, you will be rejected, then you will be accepted.

First, men will swear at you, then if you wear well, they will swear by you.

First the sneer, then the cheer.

First the lash, then the laurel.

First the curse, then the caress.

First the trial, then the triumph.

First the cross, then the crown.

For every scar upon they brow, thou shalt have a star in thy diadem.

Stand somewhere and let humanity know where you stand.

Stand for something and let humanity know what you stand for.

Be sure you are right and then STAND."
I believe it was written by someone named Gordon, but there were several authors by that name. The fact he uses the King James English might be a clue to when it was written.

We know without a doubt that it is right for women to guide the home, but today there are those who mock it. They mock it on television when hosts of feminist shows make fun of full time homemakers. They mock it in advertising. They mock it every which way you turn. Even in clothing stores, you get a sense that the clothes are not made for the duties of the home, but instead, for other reasons. If you stand firm and keep a beautiful home, making it possible to share a meal or a tea party with others, you spread the virtues of home and family and you help to restore it back to the way it should be. If you can't do that, you can at least show by your countenance that you have chosen a beautiful way to live, free from the stresses of the outside world.
There is an old song that explains what you can expect in the path of life. Here are some of the words that explain the delimna of fighting for what is right:
"...the strife will not be long!
This day, the noise of battle;
The next, the victor's song."
There might be some unsettling emotions when you stand up for what is right, but it will bring about victory. If you back down, there won't be any. The best way to defend yourself is to show success in your role.
The poem and the song tell a common truth. When you are attacked and told you are out of your mind or when you feel left on your own, remember that is the battle part. The victory of peace and well-being will come after.
The name of the painting is "Family Circle" by Lee Stronick, from a puzzle, sold here http://www.jigsawjungle.com/index.htm


Anonymous said...

thanks, once again, for the encouragement. We have been in our new location for some time now, still no homemakers close by and none in the church we are attending. I think I've landed on another planet!! We often get new neighbors (apt. living) so I am always praying that a homemaker will move nearby :o) Your blog always encourages me. God bless!

Anonymous said...

The artwork is just beautiful. Where might I purchase it? Your blog is such an inspiration to me. Thank you.

Nadege Armour

Anonymous said...

Please tell us where the lovely picture comes from.

Anonymous said...

I am increasingly surprised by the number of young Christian women who are planning to work outside the home..their goals in life include a husband a children as a side dish to their main course of a career. I facilitate a CLEP English class for home school high school students. Of the five girls in the class, three desire serious careers and have taken on a 'soft feminist' opinion of home makers. Their mothers are home makers..incredible women of God who value, esteem, and relish their role! I ask myself...what happened?

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed this blog very much over the last few months. While I don't always agree with what you say I do agree that as a wife I am called help my husband and be a keeper of my home, I am also a full time "career woman" I have a fufilling career that I love. That being said, I now work from home so that I can better serve my husband and future children. I work 8 hour days in my home office or out meeting with clients. I also prepare dinner nightly, do the laundry, coordinate the lawn care, clean, decorate, care for the pets, organize, host family dinners, host holidays, do the grocery shopping and buy all the gifts. I don't feel as though my career gets in the way of me "putting my efforts into making their families strong and good and faithful to Biblical standards". I think that it is about balance and focus. I think in careers or full time homemaking your focus is always adjusting, as long as My main focus is being a follower of Christ then I can balance whatever is in my life. I also want to say that I respect full time homemakers and would never consider them "lazy" just as I would hope that they would respect me my motives. Thank you again for the spirit of this blog and for allowing me to share my opinion. I should hope that I have shown you another type of homemaker.

Mrs. M

Mrs. Anna T said...

Lady Lydia, thank you for this wonderful article.

Keepers at home are so often unappreciated! After all, the work of a homemaker is not one of impressive, immediate, glorious achievments. A homemaker takes the focus off oneself and does not claim the world's appreciation.

Unknown said...

Beautiful post! I am so glad that I have found others out there that are like me. I am the only homemaker at the church I attend. :( I just don't understand it!

Anonymous said...

This was comforting and inspiring. With all the contrary messages around us, we need a reminder every once in a while that we made the right choice.

The role of homemaker has become a joke - on TV and in other media, she has nothing else to do but agonize over the right brand of paper towel, clean up after her children, put up with a boorish, unappreciative husband. There is no joy or anything else positive portrayed either in the programs or the advertisements. It's an unpopular thing to be.

I love being home with my babies, and even if I had no children, I'd rather be home doing what I love. I'm grateful for the teachings that make clear the place we should be, and for a wonderful husband who values my role as homemaker and works hard so that I can stay at home.

Anonymous said...

This was just what I needed to hear today!! May God bless your ministry .... Sometimes I feel pressed on every side.

Anonymous said...

Another kudos for the inspiration that you give! There are times (like today, actually,) when I feel so alone in choosing to be a Keeper of the Home and SAHM. My children are getting older now and it doesn't get easier without inspiration!

Thank you again!

forgiven4this said...

Wow what an encouraging word. Loved it. Thank you so much for sharing it, it touched me. And in my moments of weakness, I will remember this poem.


Lydia said...

picture is from http://www.jigsawjungle.com/index.htm

Lydia said...

I would also like to make a comment about this. In the past, when I was growing up, I didn't know any working women at all. I feel sorry for today's younger women, who didn't know any full time homemakers. They assume that leading such a hectic life of working full time and then coming home and fixing meals and caring for the house is normal. They did not see the culture when the women were occupied at home and cared for the family. It was considered shameful to leave the home and get a career because the home would not be guarded and the family would not have the benefit of having a woman at home. In the day time children could be seen with their little wagons and tricyles, playing. You could go for walks and the neighborhoods were buzzing with activity. The memory of it is bright and sunny in my mind. Now thanks to university, women come out and go to work, and even those who did not go to college end up working. The churches suffer from this too. Whereas once a woman had time to do things that the church needed doing--hospitality, or just being available for other young women, churches don't have the life they used to have during the week when people interacted more. There wasn't the depression in women that is so rampant today. There wasn't the debt, yet they all had houses. There wasn't the stress. There wasn't the divorce. There wasn't the dilinquency in children--no drugs, and the worst a teenager could do was get caught smoking. Yes it was a different world. Bad things still happened, but not as widespread as today. I don't think I even met anyone with personal problems til the early 1970's and it was after women began going to work.

Lydia said...

Also I think a home office is very nice but I much prefer it be used for family correspondence, or making menus and doing things that apply directly to running the house. I like a pretty desk in a section of the living area or dining room, where I can write letters or do some crafts and art work. I don't like the pressure of home business at all. It cuts into sewing time, or other spare time activities outside of housework. In spare time, I re-decorate a room or clean out a drawer or something. I think when you are young and don't have a lot of responsibilities in the house that there may be more time for home business, but there is a danger of letting a husband expect that 2nd income from the wife. Once you start that, he can "fall back" on it or depend on it. When a friend of mine went to work cleaning houses, her husband asked her every day how much she made, so he can calculate from it how the bills will be paid. That really turns me cold. The husband is the provider, and when he begins to ask the wife for money, it weakens him in my eyes.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia, I too remember such a time when I knew no one outside of one widow who worked outside of the home. Others who were widowed or had disabled husbands made things in their homes or had boarding houses or taught piano or such in their own homes. Many had their mothers living with them to be a companion and also they helped each other with the house hold duties. It was very ordinary when I was growing up, that older people or an unmarried relative lived with others. They were not there as an added worker or out of charity but were honored and equally part of the family. The children learned the family history and learned many many things through such close relationships. The neighborhoods were full of people working in their yards or sitting on their porches or walking here or there to a store or a friends. There were trucks that came around selling vegetables regularly or a favorite door to door salesman that everyone looked forward to. Even the ministers or your child's teacher came to your homes for dinner or a visit. Celebrations of one family were spilled over to the neighborhood as all were welcome. If you moved into a new area a welcome wagon person would welcome you into your new home with small gifts from the local stores and your new neighbors would come over and introduce themselfs and offer help or a little something they had cooked. Kids played outside in all weather. Even at twilight neighbors would sit out and listen as the kids played hop scotch or jump rope or a late game or basketball. On the hour you could hear a far off church bell chimming. Neighbors were not just people that lived on your block but people you knew. They were like all the other regulars you could depend on in your life. You knew your grocer, your pharmasist, teachers, banker,church members, etc they were a part of the community you called home. They were part of your world. They knew you and your family and you knew them. Now so many rush home to only their immediate family and only "know" the people they work with. At least they see these people at work but are they close? Can you depend on these people like you can friends,family and neighbors? No wonder people feel so alone. We do not allow ourselfs the time it takes to be a part of a community. When we are homekeepers we can get to know others and they us. We can get our homes in order and be able to invite that other mother over for tea. It is hard for me to imagine some cannot even imagine the ways I grew up living. It used to be so totally ordinary. Not ever boring but ever so beautiful in its simplicity and caring. If they only could be a part of that world they would drop so much of the stress everyone keeps talking about. Thanks for the advice Lady Lydia... and the memory. It is a memory that I wish many young people now could say they have...and they could if they can slow down and grab a little of it and keep their eyes on the trophy and attain the goal of being a homekeeper.

Lydia said...

I remember being out late at night meant out sitting on hay bales singing with neighbor kids or friends. We sang really loud and watched the fireflies. In the meantime the parents were in the house with windows opened, one ear on our activities outside, and the other on the adult conversation inside.

We LIKED our neighbors. Nowadays we don't really like them so we don't have front porches. We don't want to sit on them and see them or have them see us. One reason is that they don't have the same values as we do and are as likely to corrupt our children as not. I've had neighbors that I didn't want my children anywhere near, but in the former times, such a neighbor wouldn't even dare to move in next door. Now they claim "rights" and you have to in the name of tolerance, put up with them.

jean said...

I do wonder, though, if we sometimes romanticize the "good old days" when many more women were homemakers. The women in my family were far from happy as far back as the '20's, even the "religious" ones, and those examples were the main reason why I got my degrees and embraced feminism. There were a lot of what most families would call "good" times, but below the surface and behind closed doors it was definitely not 'Leave it to Beaver.' Ironically, I'm now living the SAHM life and wouldn't want to go back to what I was doing in my twenties and early thirties, but I'm glad to have had the opportunity to broaden my experiences, travel, and learn firsthand about a wide variety of things. Now, with a houseful of very young children and a husband who works a lot, it's hard to get an uninterrupted block of time to just read a book. I find it very hard to find time for myself, and can't really blame society, circumstances, or other people for my occasional dissatisfactions; sometimes we're our own worst enemies when it comes to lack of support.

Anonymous said...

I agree with not wanting to know your neighbors. I recently moved into an apartment complex and I see lots of SAHM with small children, but every last one of them smoke and use language that I find unacceptable. They also dress very immodestly. I would love to get to know some mothers and have playmates for my daughter when she gets a little older (she's 3 months) but outside of my family members, there's no one I've found. I have been a little luckier with my church, there's one lady who has a daughter only 2 weeks younger than mine, she even gave me her number, I simply haven't called her. (I can be rediculously shy at times.)

Lydia said...

To convince people that feminist agenda is better, the proponents of it had to convince everyone also that "everyone" was unhappy when women were homemakers. This simply is not true. It wasn't that they were unhappy as homemakers, but that they were generally unhappy people and would have been unhappy as a K-Mart cashier or a single woman. The plan was to blame marriage and homemaking so that they could get women out of the home. Now we have more women on pills, sufferring from depression than there ever were when they were just responsible for the home. You say in your family the women were not happy, but in my family, the women were. So who's report will we use to determine what we will do? Christian woman are told in the Bible that their role is to guard and guide the home, and through obedience to this we can be protected and also happy. Maybe women who weren't committed to this role were unhappy, but they may have gotten messages all around them to make them think they would be happy if they were not homemakers.

Lydia said...

Also I believe that the dependence on happiness as a guide to our behavior is far over-rated. Many people are not happy about digging ditches or driving the dump/refuse truck, but knowing they are doing the right thing makes them happy. They are working, and providing, and not being bums. It might not give them a sense of happiness but ultimately will bring true happiness. women at home cannot be happy all the time--there will be nights you won't sleep due to sick children. There will be stresses of home and marriage. Yet they will persevere because it is right and good, and eventually. To give it up because they aren't "happy" is a serious neglect of God-given duty, and a careless regard for the happiness of others for whom they are entrusted the responsiblity of protecting.I believe it all comes down to a misunderstanding of happiness.

Mrs. Anna T said...

Some time ago, I read a wonderful post on the blog of Mrs B., 'Cherish the Home'. She talked about how our culture over-emphasizes 'self-fulfillment' and puts in in front of duty, responsibility and honor. Mrs B also mentioned that her husband isn't working to be self-fulfilled, but to provide for their family, and that makes him a man of duty. I agree with her 100%. The world doesn't revolve around us and our ambitions.

As an older unmarried daughter living at home, I don't just sit around and do cross-stitch or go to tea parties. I do grocery shopping, scrub the floors, wash mountains of dishes and tackle never-ending loads of laundry. Surely the housework itself doesn't make me happy; I'm happy because I know I'm taking care of my family.

Lydia said...

I don't know how to answer the idea that one can "glorify" the past. It is in my opinion more an honoring of our forebearers and our parents, when we speak well of the past that they lived and the values they handed down to us. I would gladly make a movie of it and show that although it had its share of sadness and tragedy (as every era does) people in general were less disturbed. Right was right and wrong was wrong, and that was held up as a standard to live by. We didn't have to deal with all the things that parents and grandparents have to deal with today because those who were unruly were not aloud to rule. People didn't insult homemakers or mothers the way they do today, nor sneer at women wearing skirts and dresses and hats. We felt we belonged in our own communities. Now, we feel like strangers. When women went to work, they created a social life away from their families and neighbors. That is why we don't know our neighbors. When people come home from a day of socializing at work, they don't feel like socializing at home. I don't think I am in any danger of glorifying the past. I just state it as it was, and many women will chime in.

In a way I am living that past. My parents lived it and showed me how to do it. I lived it and showed my daughter how to do it. My mother, my daughter, and I, are all living the same kind of life as wives and homemakers that our grandmothers and great grandmothers did. We are living in the present the same kind of life that our forebearers lived in the past. We have duplicated this life quite easily just by being full time homemakers.

Lydia said...

There are hard times in any profession. I always took great courage from knowing Bible accounts of men and women who were "alone" in what they were doing, or from pioneers of any country where people faced hardship. When I think of how pioneers in America and Australia lived before wall-to-wall carpeting, indoor plumbing, electricity, etc. I don't know how homemakers can complain. They did their duty despite the discomfort, and we can do no less.

Lydia said...

My daughter also suffers the problem of getting time to do things she needs to do. Families in the past had much more help than they do today. Rather than being employed in an office somewhere, or working for a publishing company, etc., single women were more likely to be employed in homes, for various duties that would then free the wife to have more time for other things. Today, homemakers have to do it all. When my daughter married, I lost my best helper and I tried to find girls to hire who would come to my home to iron, wash dishes, sweep, etc. so I could get other jobs done, but they do not want the job. They would rather work in a full time employment at a restaurant or department store.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Lady Lydia,

Harking back to your articles of last year concerning the value of an 'old fashioned' cooked breakfast, an article on ABC news here in Australia this evening reenforced this; a well respectedd doctor coming out in support of the far superior advantage to health of the cooked breakfast - classifying virtually all modern commercial breakfast cereals as confectionary (with the exception of traditional oats - the only grain shown to definitively offer significant long-term benefits to a healthy life. Eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms and even beans with fresh spinach aded in were all hailed as infinitely superior options to the usual fare of choice.

the disappearance of good hearty meals, exercise, need for less structure and more 'free play' for children, family breakdown... it all points to one thing - a thing that we know (and the experts do also but are too petrified to admit it) that the influence of we ladies as home-makers is vital and essential if society is to function healthfully, coherently and in a well-adjusted manner - the Biblical blueprint for family and society the only one that has been ever shown to work.

Please feel free to share this with readers of 'Home Living Helper' as I am still unable to leave comments.

may you be blessed this day,

Mrs. Elliott,

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your posts but one thing always nags at me. The idea of the woman staying home only works if the husband is a good provider and responsible. So, So many men today are not that and have no idea how to take care of a family.

Presently I am struggling with having to go back to work due to decisions that my husband (and I to be honest) made a few years ago. We are in debt and his business is no generating the income needed to cover our expenses. I just keep thinking that I cant truly depend on him to properly take care of us and I need to have a career.

Not every women was raised to look for a husband that will be a good provider or even cases where things happen and the husband can't provide.

I struggle with this because I see the benefits of my being home but I just don't see how it can be done by every woman in todays economy and they way many men are raised.

Anonymous said...

This is in reply to the anonymous lady who was lamenting the death of the breadwinner ethic. I think it's obvious that not only has the feminist movement devalued the SAHW/M, but also the man of the house as the breadwinner. Also with the institution of no-fault divorce laws, men feel less and less of a duty to provide for his family and stick things out if the going gets rough, because now if he decides he doesn't feel like being a provider, he can simply divorce and leave his wife and any children in the lurch.
I read an excellent book that covers all these points, but it was a little hard to read. It's called "Domestic Tranquility: A Brief Against Feminism" by F. Carolyn Graglia, a former lawyer who became a homemaker when her children were born. You can definitly tell that this is a brief written by a laywer, it is a little dull, dry and repetitive at times, but the material is so fasinating it's easy to lose yourself in it. That is if you're an avid reader, I do know some people who would not even try to get past the first 3 pages. :) I was able to find this book at my local library, and I know it's available at amazon.com.

Lady Lydia - Thank you so much for not being afraid to state such sentiments, there are a lot of people out there who would find this subject matter offensive.

God Bless!

jean said...

With glorifying the past, I was thinking of the many women in forums who wish they were living back when it was easier to be a homemaker. That idea seems to ignore the negatives of those times, and discourages women from making the best of where they are right now. It's not necessary to have great neighbors or a perfect environment or to be in a particular time or place to do whatever you want. Those things are desirable, but not necessary. Wishing to be "back then" also seems to question God's wisdom in placing us at birth when and where He does. Even if we could go back in time, we'd still be taking ourselves with us, that self being the real source of happiness or dissatisfaction. Someone who can't be content when and where they are will have difficulty accomplishing that anywhere.

As far as how things *really* were for most women in the past, anecdotal evidence is not reliable enough. Even research done by *non*feminist sources points to some serious problems in those eras. A google search can list some titles and authors to look at.

With happiness, I had more of the idea of contentment in mind, the courage of one's convictions, not caring what anyone else says or thinks and sticking to whatever choices you feel are right for *you.* There's way too much concern among most women with getting approval from others. In many homemaking forums, there's a lot of ranting about how unfairly homemakers are treated; why should a woman care what anyone else thinks if she's doing what *she* thinks is right?

Lydia said...

I would recommend the book, "The Benevolence of Manners" by Linda Lichter for a more accurate look into the Victorian era and the period following that age, called the roaring 20's. It has good references in it and it shows from diaries, letters, photographs, architecture, art, literature, music, cemetaries, city planning, etc. evidence that the women were not as unhappy then as they are today. Every era has problems, and a woman's happiness is based on what she does with her feminine role of wife, mother, and homemaker. The poor in Victorian times were often taken care of by the homemakers, who carried baskets of food to them. Welfare seems to have taken that opportunity away, as the gov't steals from our money to give these people money and then after paying our own bills, we have nothing left to give away.

This book is probably the best because it describes what they ate, why they dressed the way they did, and what made such STRONG families in those times. I have a particular akin to that era because I knew people who were born in the 1800's, when I was a little girl, and have many things --photographs, china, needlework, etc. that tells the story of these homemakers.

Lydia said...

Yes there are some blogs out there where homemakers complain about their lot and compare life to the good old days. The message they fail to get is that the purpose of the past is to learn from it and and use it to reproduce the beautiful life that they want. I have found that those who seek after the old paths, where the good walk is, are more content. (Jer 6:16 Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein. )

It is possible to duplicate many things and realize it is our duty and right to bring back what is good and lovely into our society and our personal lives. It is part of our heritage; part of the things our forebearers handed down to us. These are mainly principles to live by that are being abandoned by the progressives. It is a confusing world that we live in but the good things of the past can still be enjoyed if we restore the principles that produced them: truth, justice, goodnes, purity, honor, virtue, etc.

Vanessa said...

Lady Lydia,

Thanks so much for this post!

My eyes have been opened even wider to my blessed role at home.


Anonymous said...

With us being homekeepers and our daughters and families following too we are starting to create our own community like they used to be. That comunity of unity and caring and sharing that we grew up with but seldom see now. I still personally miss not having a whole comunity of woman my age to learn and share with . I should though, be grateful that I had that to observe so many years till it seemed to have died. No we cannot go around wishing for those days but as you said, they were sunny days of precious memories of wonderful times. A time when right was right and we all agreeded on what was wrong and knew what was expected of us. We had work eihics and morals and felt a real sense of community. They should not be forgotten like they never happened either. It is a joy to pass along true stories of the real men and women we knew and lived with so future generations will have these to think on. But we are living today and cannot just wish for the past,..you are right about that. I sure wish I too could make a movie or somehow show people now how it Really was though, because I feel like people cannot believe those days really were. They were. I agree with you Lady Lydia and Mrs. Alexander on your ideas on this subject and your good comments here. As I get older I have so very few friends left who know of those days and what women did along with their husbands to help cement our civilization together. We each had our parts to do and both did them knowing it was the right thing to do {and feeling in our hearts that too}...it felt so comfortable..so right. When God created the family he layed down the ideas and laws and when we go with them it is such an stress releaving thing. Life may come up with other stresses but this is one that is not. Am I making any sence? This issue is so dear to my heart. I hope I am making some sense. I also want to thank the many ladies who leave such good comments here. I gleam so many thoughts and ideas from you. Although I may be older than many I still have so much to learn and am thankful for the guidance of the many young and learned women here....I also cherish the feeling of community you find here here.

Lydia said...

The lady that commented on glorifying the past, was apparently referring to the young women who complain that life today is terrible and ugly in comparison to what they read about of life in the past, not realizing that God put us all in our own time era for a reason. Rather than longing to live at another time, it is better to take the values that made some of the past eras so glorious, and reproduce them in our own lives. I believe mothers at home are doing it because just the act of living at home, homeschooling your children, and honoring the fathers, duplicates the past. It seems to bring similar results. Many families are, together, making great contributions in architecture, art, literature, music, fashion design, etc. It is often called "The Quiet Revolution" because they have, like salt and leaven, permeated life around them and, with the net, even beyond.

Lydia said...

I don't know how homemakers put up witht he sardonic comments made to them. I just heard today someone run down a wife,mother and homemaker, and added a sardonic laugh to it. It was a man. It is hard to get men to support this kind of endeavor if they have had feminist mothers.

r said...

But were the negative comments made specifically about her being a homemaker? Maybe he would make ugly comments about anyone, even other men. Stay-at-home women tend to be very, very oversensitive and look for ways to take offense, maybe because they feel like they have to justify what they're doing or they feel insecure in some way. It's often not other people being negative with them, but them being negative with themselves. If you expect to be disparaged, it's just a matter of time before you run into someone who will be happy to oblige. If you think someone is being unfairly critical of you for whatever reason, get a thicker skin and some maturity, and just ignore them. If you really respect yourself and the role you've chosen, you'll get respect from others. Homemakers seem all to happy to play the role of martyr.

Anonymous said...

The comments were: "You should get a job," and "Its boring to stay at home and you end up not ever doing anything."

Cathy said...

This was encouraging and energizing to read. I've been home for 10 years, going on 11 and heard it all. From I was lazy to just plain stupid. Thank You for posting this! Just what I needed to read today!

Anonymous said...

Hi, everyone! I've been absent for a while, but it's been "baby time." (We now have a healthy, super-alert baby daughter--at least on the books; we've had her for the entire pregnancy as well.)

I just wanted to answer a concern of Jean's, if I may.

Jean, according to your logic, I might just as readily accuse you of preferring a day and age when molesting children gets one a slap on the wrist and a session with a psychiatrist; when defending oneself and one's home from violent criminals is treated as "barbaric" and "not constitutionally protected"; when the political climate in our country is now at the level of playground taunting and bullying; when most young people need calculators to make change from a dollar and can't figure out whether to use "to" or "too"; when the rate of impoverished single moms is on the rise because men no longer feel morally compelled to help...I could go on.

You would disavow the belief that all these things are good and desirable, I know. Still in all, do you see why the reasoning you apply to the ladies here is similarly invalid and manifestly unfair?

To desire the best of all possible worlds is not "living in the past" or questioning God's will. If anything, a dream of restoring the best things about the old ways is pursuing His will; most of courtesy and chivalry comes from Christian charity and Scriptural standards of husband-and-wife interaction.

So, Jean, please don't jump to conclusions about a person's inward thoughts when she expresses an opinion. Ask instead. It makes the conversation run more smoothly. *smile*

Oh, and PandaBean...lawyers' writings are dry and dull? I take that personally! *playful scowl*

Mrs. Bartlett
Full-time mommy

Lydia said...

Let me define the original comment: she was only concerned that so many young homemakers weren't enjoying living in this era, when in fact, they were put here for a reason. I suggested that the solution would be to immitate the things of the past, the old paths, where the good walk is, in order to find peace and happiness, as the Bible says. I think I gave the place where it is found in the Bible. Values is what we need to restore, and many people are doing it by returning home and walking in the old paths. It can be done today. Even the Victorians had a respect for their parents and grandparents and the ways of their forefathers, and carried them in their own lives. Every generation has to follow the good walk, and the values that have always been good, which are found in the Bible.

jean said...

Mrs. Bartlett,

Lady Lydia has correctly defined my thoughts above. I don't think I had jumped to any conclusions about others' inward thoughts, and I *did* follow up with a second post to which Lady Lydia was gracious in responding. After a brief exchange, I think we understood each others' thoughts quite well. While I am glad you did ask more on this topic, careful reading also makes the conversation run more smoothly.