Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Silly Women

Tea Party by George Kilburne, from Lovely Whatevers

Someone alerted me to a blog where apparently I am the main topic. There, they demand that I explain what I meant by this or what I meant by that. I will not explain that, but I will explain something else:

From the beginning of blogging, I believed that our time and space was limited and that we should do the most good to the most people in the most time that was available to us. I love my home and family and noticed that many young girls had little or no exposure to the great possibilities in homemaking. In schools during "career day" there were many booths full of alluring literature to get girls interested in going out every day and working for a wage, but never any information offered on the advantages of being a wife, mother, and homemaker. I thought that blogging would reach more, faster, and allow me more time, without involving me having to leave the house for long periods of time.

I meant to keep the subject matter, subject matter, and avoid personally running anyone down, naming anyone, attacking any particular religious organization, criticizing any minister or woman personally, or talking about anyone on this blog. I believe the Bible says that when someone offends us, we are supposed to go to them, first. I have found, though, that sometimes people will not come to me, even though my email is visible, and will not personally tell me how I offended them. Instead, they gossip about me on their blogs. Some people have asked me to refute such talk, here, on this blog, but I always wanted the blog to have pretty pictures of homes and gardens and flowers and all that, along with some inspiring ideas to make a success of marriage, homemaking and family life.

On the sidebar, I included a section for the curious, sometimes mocking students all over the world, who seem to think I ought to be shut up, to allow them some study material so that they could be better informed before they drew conclusions about me. Having that list there has slowed down the emails full of accusations and hatred, and it also frees my time to blog about happy things. So, that is why, in spite of the urging of some of my friends to refute these silly women, I don't answer their questions daily on the blog or keep debating the same old things over and over. All the things they want to know are on the side bar and I would encourage them to study it.

I rarely go to other blogs unless they are (1) pretty, (2) creative, (3) inspiring or (4) edifying. I don't like to go places that gossip about other people, but I seem to be the subject of such gossip on one blog. I have read a lot of gossip about me by radical feminists, but what is sad is that some blogs claim to be Christian and are accusing me of being "from the pit of Hell." Personally, I have nothing against any of these people. I will not say anything personally against them nor name them, but I just wanted to thank the ones that keep their blogs clean and beautiful and free of gossip that runs down other people.

I check out my homemaking blogs occasionally and they are always nice and encouraging and am proud to have these ladies on that list because they never indulge in name calling. I know not everyone has the exact same beliefs as I do, but I appreciate it that they don't put their thoughts on the air about it. As I have said in many articles, we live in an age of letting it all hang out, telling it all, and "venting."

We are not better, for that. We are worse. From the beginning of the web, people have claimed a right to vilify me personally by name, because, they said, I was a public figure and deserved it. Well, personally, I will answer to God if I write on my blog that Mary so and so is a rotten stinker and she is from hell. I wouldn't do it even if she was a rotten stinker, because I would be sullying my own soul. I couldn't eat or sleep if I my blog's main theme was about some woman on another blog that I didn't like. I don't think it is good manners and I think it is immature.

So to sort of outline what this blog is for, is to encourage homemaking and to find ways to make it lovely. There were several books I have read over time, that have helped me, and one of them was "The Spirit of Loveliness" by Emilie Barnes. I hope that those who are engaged in debate over me, will read this book and will relax and have a cup of tea, and dress up and look as pretty as they can, and think whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, and whatever is good. (Philippians 4:8)
The Holy Spirit mentions this sort, when He says:

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth
. 2 Timothy 3:6 and 7
Here is part of a sermon written in 1947 by George DeHoff:
...Paul then tells us not to keep company with a railer. That simply means a man who talks too much. It means one who rails out against other people. Such a person is worse than a murderer. The church of our Lord is afflicted with people. some of them preachers, who are continually gossiping about other people. Any scandal is sweet morsel to their ears. A brother once told some scandal - lies - about a brother preacher. That preacher said, "You apologize or I'll sue you for slander." The brother said, "Oh, you'd violate the Bible law about going to law with a brother, would you? " Of course, the brother preacher was wrong in threatening to go to law, but a man ought to "put up or shut up." There ought to be some weay to stop the mouths of scandalmongers. We ought to treat them as heathen and barbarians. Indeed, they are such.

So, here is to keeping blogs lovely!


Anonymous said...

I was told that you know you are doing Gods work when you are being presauted, (sorry for the spelling). The Devil is trying to stick his nose where it doesn't belong.
I love your blogs. They are inspiring. You make me feel that I am not the only one staying at home taking care of my family.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia;

How sad that this is happening. I too feel that blogs should be lovely and encouraging, but also honoring Our Lord.

I have been pondering about opening a bolog, but alas, I always seem to not do it, I feel that if my blog or space is not lovely and encouraging then it should not be done.

I don't feel that this is a place where we go by gossiping and carrying on as if we have a right to be cruel and down-right mean!

I thank you, Lady Lydia, for your the time that you take to write on subjects that are so forgotten now a days.

God bless you!

Maria in PA

Anonymous said...

Dear Lydia,
I am a homemaker with a husband and two small children. I have been home since three months before my eldest was born. There are some points on which I disagree with you, but I read your blog regularly because it is such an inspiration to me in my chosen profession. As a college-educated woman who deliberately chose to embrace home and children, I find that my choice is often belittled or rejected out of hand. It is people like you who inspire me and remind me that homemaking is a profession every bit as demanding as any other. Thank you and bless you for all you do.

Jodie said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
I was so excited when I found out you now had a blog, please know what an encouragement you are to me and I am sure others! No one really enjoys complaining, I think they just never learn to focus on the lovely, the true, the pure...anyway, I have been a fan of LAF for a few years and always enjoyed your articles, now it is like we are communicating on a daily basis with the blog. As a busy keeper at home with 7 children, it is good to refuel and remember to enjoy this time and you help me do that. As a matter of fact I am beautifying my back patio due to being inspired by the gorgeous pictures you display. YES, please continue your Titus 2 work!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lydia,

I read your blog often, but have never before posted. I appreciate you and what you write...you are the perverbial 'breath of fresh air'.

Every so often I pop over to (the blog you mentioned) in the hopes that the women there have softened or repented. That is a very harsh place to be Lydia, they will chew you up and spit you out.

Please take care as you visit there, and don't stay long. I tried in vain to help them see their gossipy, slanderous ways to no avail, and was almost always skewered alive!

Do not loose a moment's sleep over this. One day you will hear those words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant", and it will all have been worth it.

In Christ,
A friend

Lydia said...

Ladies I am always uncomfortable with praise directed at me, especially when you say I am "wise" because actually: I cheated---I am not personally wise!! I got it all from my own parents and from a lot of good teachers and Bible study. Having had to teach younger women helped me discover a lot! So really, no one is personally "wise" , as there is nothing new under the sun. It is accumulated knowledge and some of the "wisdom" has come from a lot of big mistakes in my life, as well as watching others and observing what they did that helped them. When I was on the homemaking program, one lady asked me what to do about overcoming a critical spirit in a daughter, and I didn't know what to say! My daughter didn't really have a critical spirit. However, my experience with these critical women has taught me just what it is. They practice it and are very good at it. It will take determination and prayer to overcome a critical spirit because it becomes a habit and you hardly know you are doing it! I do know that men don't like it and tend to avoid those kinds of women if they are really looking for a worthy woman. So, a critical spirit is very harmful to our daughters and the only way to correct it is to correct it in yourself! One day we will reap what we sow, because years later, if we have spent a lot of time with a critical spirit, our daughters will pick it up and we'll be shocked when they criticise US!

Anonymous said...

I used to be one of these young smart-mouth girls who thought she was being intelligent--but I learned it was just sophistry (conceited arguing, as you called it). I asssure you that even though they appear to be laughing, they are crying inside, and every time they criticise someone personally they have a bad day. I don't believe it helps their family relationships or gets their houses in order. I don't believe it helps their nerves at all. I know, because every time I did something like that, I suffered in other ways. Sometimes it was a fight with a loved one, or a problem of some kind to do with not accomplishing my dreams. I know when I overcame the critical spirit as you named it, my life had a lot more peace and success.

Lydia said...

It isn't very feminine and although we try to be ladies it is sometimes necessary to chastise those who create strife. In some of my articles, they find one thing and do not get a sense of the whole theme. My point in many of the off-topic comments I get from silly girls, is that it won't change how you keep house. What does debating World War 2 and the Industrial Revolution have to do with your responsibilies as a wife, mother , homemaker and your obligation to spread the word of God? How does debating these things really benefit the young women? It takes a lot of time and energy to argue about something. That is one reason I have a section for feminists to read, so that I do not have to go around and around with them again. It gives them a lot of good study material. I would suggest Graglia's book, "Domestic Tranquility" which is not necessarily religious, but contains a lot of points that I have brought out here.

Lydia said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
I am English and live in Surrey. I have enjoyed your writings on the blogs for a long time. Together with other godly christian women, you have all helped me, I trust, grow in these areas. Now, I have opportunity to help a good few younger women myself, so the teaching goes on. With christian love, Hilary.

martha said...

Don't get in the mud to wrestle with pigs.
You'll get dirty, and it will give the pigs pleasure.

If the Holy Spirit has given you peace about your position, do not defend yourself, His approval is enough.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,

Your blog is a real pleasure to read and you have such a great attitude towards 'unpleasantness.' I enjoy reading what you've got to say, and although I'm a working lady now, I hope that I'll someday be blessed with marriage and the ability to be a full-time homemaker! You're an inspiration to me.


Lydia said...

Ann, you're nice. I don't hate working women. I know how it happens and how difficult it is to get out of it, in this day and age.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady Lydia,
I have been reading your blog for a long time, but have never left a comment. I feel that I must take the time to thank you for being such an inspiration to me. I am a full-time mother, homemaker, and wife. I love the role God has given to me. Thank you for giving me a place to come and feel validated and inspired. You blog is a shelter for women who are working hard to build their homes. Thank you for all you do. I am deeply saddened that their are women out there trying to frustrate the work of women who are trying to serve their families. I have never read anything condemning on your blog. I also have no knowlege of the blog that you are speaking of, but if they feel condemned there may be a reason for that. Your blog brings me joy, thank you again for your service to us all.

Black Cat said...

Dear Lydia
I discovered LAF about 3 years ago. I was working full-time (we have no children), but feeling dis-satisfied with work. Through your website and blog I was encouraged and inspired to be the best Christian wife I could be. (It also led to my discovering other encouraging Christian websites and blogs by women). I now work only 2 days a week outside the home (unfortunately, still no children), and hope to stop that in the near future. Many of us feel bereft of Titus 2 relationships in our churches and your ministry, and others like it, has been used by God to teach and inspire women like me.
Thank you
God bless

Lydia said...

It might be useful, in case it happens to anyone else, to know that when I found a blog that was totally dedicated to my vilification (called Mrs. Sherman hates women), I complained to Blogger. They graciously banned it and showed me what to do to protect myself a little better. I thought that was such a nice gesture.

DonnaB said...

Lady Lydia: I want to personally thank you for your ministry via this blog. I appreciate your urging to make our homes havens for our families. You help me to go past good enough and mediocrity and not settle until I reach homemaking excellence and beauty. You and your blog are a blessing to me.

Laura said...

People come from all kinds of places, and hold all kinds of beliefs. When they get their ideas mixed up with their identities, they sometimes take differing opinions personally.

These people think you are hurting them and they try to protect themselves. They try to do to you what they imagine you are doing to them.

It is sad, because it is just their ideas you oppose. If they had more faith in themselves and their ideas they would see you are not threatening them personally.

Anonymous said...

"People come from all kinds of places, and hold all kinds of beliefs. When they get their ideas mixed up with their identities, they sometimes take differing opinions personally. "

I'm writing that down in my notebook. So true, so well-said. Guilty as charged, myself, sometimes.

It's hard for me not to get sucked into negativity sometimes-- I'm a total sucker for inane arguments with people who aren't going to change their minds any more than I'm going to change mine.

It is futile and soul-destroying and takes away time that could be spent on things that will actually bring me lasting happiness. (Spending time with my children, spending time on my husband, making myself a new dress, even mopping the kitchen floor!!!)

Getting the last word in is a pretty fleeting high.

Thanks for not letting your blog disintegrate into that condition!

Anonymous said...

there is a ring of people who politically correct thought police determined to bring down anyone who differs with their point of view. They make it their business to watch other people all the time and it becomes the subject of their blogs. They rarely produce anything useful to the world and are rich in critical thinking instead of good deeds

ladyakofa said...

Hi Lady Lydia,

I'm single and I work outside the home... in far away Ghana and I love what I do.

LAF and related blogs have served as medium for deep thoughts about homemaking, marriage, homeschooling, motherhood in biblically radical ways.

I'm glad God has a remnant of people who are unmoved by the tides and ways of this world.

Let nothing deter you from the vision God has given you to reach out to young women like me. :)

Lady Akofa.

Lydia said...

Lady Akofa,

Your blog is lovely, and I have to quote Mrs. Hamley in "Wives and Daughters," when she first met Molly: "I think we shall get along well. I LIKE your face!" It is always nice to make a new friend.