Sunday, November 30, 2008

Big Grief in Ministries

There are many families that have suffered when a daughter does not return from a ministry. They are, what is becoming known as "Big Grief" ministries. The organization claims to be helping young adults turn their hearts to the parents, but they do not.

The daughters are a great help to these ministries and it is amazing how hard they will fight to keep them there. After 6 months to a year has gone by, (in some cases, several years) and their daughters have still not returned, parents begin to suspect that something is wrong. They write, email, phone, and even visit, but cannot get their daughters out. The Big Grief ministries will not send them home, and there is a reason. These ministries are often state funded, so they have the state on their side. They cooperate with the state in institutionalizing troubled youth in youth centers around the world. Those kids who are not exactly troubled, but who the parents want to be trained in helping troubled youth in order to mature them and see the effect of their own behavior, are used as "staff." Once on the staff, they do a certain amount of work in the kitchen, or other areas, and help in teaching various things. It gets harder and harder to get them out because staff is so valuable. It may be free room and board in exchange for such services. The parents still insist on the return of their daughters, and have to go through many channels, clear up to the headquarters of such ministries, in order to negotiate their release. I know you are thinking how ridiculous this is, but remember how I said that it was also state funded? These B.G. ministries, which bring enormous grief to parents, will, in cooperation with the state, administer any kind of psychological testing, or just let a minister judge them himself, to determine if the parents are "abusive." Abuse can be anything that parents do, fron saying "no" to getting upset when the child is out all night. Once the label of abuse is given to the parent, it begins an entire new set of problems. Psychology now labels just about any thing the child is "uncomfortable" with as abuse. I heard of one girl who claimed her parents wanted her to clean up her room before she got dessert. She always remembered that terrible day she went without dessert. Another young adult stated that her motehr forced her to stand still while she took family photos, and when she didn't, she frowned at her. This girl, and others like her, dredge up any old thing to interpret as "abuse."

Once that label has been given to the parents, the state is on the side of the ministry. If the minister or ministry says that the parent is "irresponsible" or "abusive" you cannot get that child away from that ministry.Now, the minister claims to protect the son or daughter. Meanwhile, at home, the fathers may stand to lose their livelihood or businesses because of this false accusation . It is actually against the law to accuse anyone falsly of "moral turpitude." It is called "defamation," and is a crime. Yet ministers get away with it by call thing parents "ABUSIVE."

I have known parents who have lost their sons and daughters to these B.G. ministries and would like to first of all warn everyone not to run to ministries when your young adult children give you problems. There was a time, "in the old days" when parents did not spread their troubles around. They handled them at home. Today, they have been made to think that a minister will help them. He will not.He will let your daughter stay in his ministry, and then when you think she has been there long enough, and start putting pressure on the B.G. minister, he will shuffle the daughter off to someone else in ministry, some other youth center, or some other minister's family,but never the home. The state and the ministry are in cahoots, because they have a Freudian belief that all problems stem from childhood. The B.G. ministries do not follow the Bible; they follow the Freudian principles, and have reworded them to make them attractive to young people.

One way that they frame the parents, is, during the phone conversations, they will tell them that if they release their daughter, their daughter will wander around without authority, get pregnant, assaulted, etc. The parent, still fighting to have their daughter returned, will tell them to send her straight home. Later, the B.G. ministry will accuse the parents of being "irresponsible" because they "didn't object to the daughter getting attacked." It is a twisting of words and intentions, but this will be used against the parents.

Many years ago when I first started home schooling, I heard a lady tell a story of how the state tried to take her children away from her. She had an antique collection of swords on her wall as a decoration, and someone had reported her for it. When the mother went to the social workers to talk about it, one of the employees snatched her child, so the mother began to yell and scream and run down the hall, "HELP ME" and "THEY ARE KIDNAPPING MY CHILD"---and they backed down. There were other offices of a different nature in the same building, and the workers didn't like the noise and the attention, so they backed down and said,"I'm not touching anything, Mrs. Jones." The speaker then went on to say that the more noise you can make, the better it is. Many Christians are just nice peaceful people who do not want to come off looking like erratic, senseless, out of control mothers with no brains, so they remain silent. She said you have to make a big fuss. You can't let them get away with it. They will get away with it if they think they can. B.G. ministries are no different. If they think you have no resources, no recourses, no friends, no power, no money, and ow way to get your daughter back, they will play games with you for a long time and never return her. During the time they have her, they will indoctrinate her so badly that she will believe that she is only safe in their shelter. She will believe everything they say. They will monitor her email, her mail, and her phone conversations. Her parents will be treated like criminals and even recorded when they try to get their daughter to listen to reason.

Going to ministries for help will not help, because they are often connected with one another. Families have been led around in circles by these ministers, sometimes from different denominations, only to find out they are into the same psychology. One family phoned a ministry that had a reputation of calming the nerves of children in revolt, hoping this minister would help. A lady who answered the phone was a cousin of the minister, and far too young to give wise counsel to an older couple who had raised children. In fact, the girl was not even married. She told the parents they were abusive and dictator-ish and that they should let their daughter stay out as late as she wanted to and have no limits on her life. She said if they did not do that, their daughter would climb out of a window and call the police, or go to the nearest bar and get drunk. The minister himself had written a book and offerred a course about how to control rebellious youth,, and this cousin working in his office, was giving this kind of advice! This is one of the follies of trusting in ministries instead of the Lord.

One thing you can do when you see any young person on the street handing out religous literature is to walk up to him and say, "Go home. Your parents miss you. Call them, and get back with them. This is not a real life for you. You need to get married and have a home, have children, settle down to family life." Any time you find any young person in ministry, tell them the same thing. Girls will be transferred from place to place for all their youth, missing out on meeting someone to marry, missing out on children and a house to look after. Go up to these people and tell them that God can still be in their life in a major way in the realm of marriage, home and family. God admires families and it grieves him when children dishonor their parents by running away or by ignoring them. Tell them to go home. Say "Your mother misses you. Your father, too. The substitute family and substitute parents of the ministry can never give you the heritage, the loyalty, the love, that your own legal parents can give you."

I have often wanted to go into one of these cults just to see how much I could refute their teachings, but I am too old and I couldn't fool them. They only want young people for free labor, whose minds are easily influenced. If you want your child back, then here are some things you might try.

1. Phone and email the ministry or minister daily.

2. Bring others to help by getting them to phone and email.

3. Start a blog to show what is happening.

4. Save all correspondence between you so that you canot be accused of neglect or irresponsiblity.

5. Send no money except a return ticket to your city, and nowhere else, when the child promises to come home.

6. Go to the headquarters of the ministry and

No comments: