Time-Wise Truths

Creative Summer,by Consuelo Gamboa

Afternoon Tea by Paul Fischer from Lovely Whatevers

"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom."

Time is Short

Time is short, the days are fleeting,

Not one step can I retrace.

Every morn a new day greeting,

Yesterday I can't replace.

Help me, Lord, to do thy bidding,

Help me live each new day through

As I would if life were fading

As the sunset comes to view.

-Hazel A. Dillehy

(Christian Woman Magazine, circa 1960)

Using one's time well is a challenge that is best bred in youth, but it can be learned at any age, through diligent practice. Homemakers have such full lives that they wonder where all the time has gone. They are often astonished at the very idea that some would think they are "doing nothing" because they are workers at home, and not going outside the home to work. Young women at college now may not be able to understand the many facets of homemaking until they actually become homemakers.

One of the most important aspects of homemaking is the wise use of time. Everyone has experienced the dismay when a day, through unexpected interruptions, illness, or forgetfulness, just gets away from them. To a woman that loves her home, there seems to be nothing more frustrating than not accomplishing anything worthwhile in a given day. Such times as these are always reminders of how important time is, and how careful we must be not to spend it unwisely.

Quilting Bee in Virginia

Lovely Whatevers

There were a number of useful things that women have done, and still do, that are both re-creational, and beneficial to others. Quilting groups were popular, and I can remember ladies coming to our house out on the homestead, spending a day quilting, and leaving a blanket for us. An elderly woman once asked my daughter to come out with her children and peel apples. While they were peeling apples from her apple trees, she told my daughter of the days when women got together to peel apples or shell peas or snap beans. Others got together for Bible studies, focusing on the duties of women of all ages, so that the older generation was consistently reminded, and the next generation of young women would know how to conduct their lives.

There was always the regular work of the house to be done: washing dishes and cooking, sweeping floors, washing clothes and ironing, and in general, keeping the home livable, but there was also a lot of time left to do other things, such as telling stories to children, writing letters, or art projects. Some women had a special visiting day to make calls on people, taking a basket of whatever served their needs. I chat with my own mother frequently, and she tells me that although work was necessary, women used to have many different interests, which they enjoyed enormously in the home. When her mother came to visit us, they made a colorful rag rug together. This kind of activity has an influence on the children in the home.

Best Wishes
Lovely Whatevers

Throughout the ages, wise teachers have always warned women of the folly of wasting time. Time spent resting or truly re-creating with a pleasant activity, is not wasted, if it builds the inner person and benefits the home. A lesson to teenage girls, on this subject, reads:

"The Christian girl should learn to use her time wisely and not spend it in idleness. The woman who spends her time at bridge parties, club meetings, dancing and attending other places of pleasure while she leaves her children with babysitters is eating the bread of idleness, and will likely reap regrets that will out-weigh her satisfaction. The reward of the ideal woman is this: 'Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.' This is the greatest reward a girl can look forward to in life. She excels all others...

"The Christian girl should know that her success in her mission that the Lord made her for, depends upon preparation. She should build into her character every trait that is found in the virtuous woman of the Bible. If she does this, her value will be far above rubies." --(From The Christian Girl, book four, Lesson 7, by Mamie W. Hayhurst, published 1964)

Preachers were open with their reminders to the way women spent their time, knowing of the distractions that would draw them from their love of the home:

"The unhappiest people in the world are those who have nothing to do but have a good time. Idleness explains the discontent and bitterness of many, both rich and poor. Idleness permits the imagination to run riot, and exposes a person to all kinds of worries and fears." (from "Do's and Don'ts for the Christian," chapter 12, by Leroy Brownlow, published 1951)

Concerning the home, this same preacher wrote: "Women's feminine endowments have especially equipped her for homemaking. The touch of her hand can transform a hovel into a palace, because it takes more than lumber, nails, brick and mortar to make a home. There is a great distinction between a house and a home...There is more to homemaking than keeping a house. In addition to keeping a tidy house, the wife should make an atmosphere of love, happiness,...cheerfulness..."

Women who really want a stable family and a respectable dwelling place for them, will be serious about the way they spend their time. When women, as well as young girls in the home, spend their spare time making something beautiful, they will have something to show for their leisure time. When young girls opt to go out with the girls and sit for hours drinking or playing games, they come away with nothing to show for their time, and time can never be recovered, once it is wasted. In past posts, I have made the comparison between re-creation, a way of reviving the body and the spirit, and wreck-reation, which is a result of participation in something called vice. Vice is anything that is addictive and tears down, rather than builds up, good character. Vice is the opposite of virtue. One of the several meanings of "virtue" is: the practice of goodness.

While it is beneficial to enjoy family life by playing board games and other kinds of games, some games can become vices when they call women away from their families regularly. Games can be addictive, but they can also cause women to lose their dignity and become less of an example to their children and younger women.

It is all well and good to enjoy leisure time, but anything can be taken down the wrong road and turned into a vice if it breaks down the home rather than builds it up. Some young women who have constant trials in their home life, or are not consistent in their worship habits, will faithfully attend bingo games or neighborhood bunko (dice) games.

During these games, women forget that they are to be examples to younger women, and lose all personal restraint. Instead of behaving like ladies, they are loud and boisterous, throwing all care to the wind, and acting as if there were no tomorrow. Women at these parties sometimes behave and dress in an unlady-like way. Proverbs 9 calls this kind of woman "clamorous."**

I have stated previously that there is nothing wrong with playing games, but it would be better to stay home and play with the entire family. Some girls just do not want to grow up, still thinking they should go out with the girls. Since older women are told to be "sober" (serious-minded), in Titus 2, we all need to be reminded that young women become older women, who will then be called on to teach other younger women. The practice of goodness, rather than the practice of vice, is a habit that needs to be formed in youth.

I have attended some of these things by invitation, at least once, and stayed long enough to discover how foolish the time was being spent. I heard of several occasions in which visitors attended a ladies Bible class, only to find that the Christian women were in a hurry to finish the prescribed Bible study lesson, so that they could clear the tables and have a rousing game of bunko(a dice-rolling game).

My family played games at home when I was little, (and I think it is very nice if parents will play games with their children) but when I learned to be creative and do things with my hands, I preferred to do something else. I discovered that drawing, writing, reading, crafting, sewing, decorating, and doing things for others, as a hobby, didn't require that I wait my turn. I could make as much progress as I wanted, without waiting for someone else to take their turn.

Lovely Whatevers
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I think it is really important to expose girls to the delights of things like making your own paper dolls, all kinds of art work and various craft projects, writing and acting out their own plays, learning to sing or write poems, packing a basket for a picnic, and enjoying it in the old fashioned way on a quilt, visiting someone who is shut-in and taking a box or bag of goodies to cheer them, enjoying scenery and nature walks, designing and sewing their own clothing, crochet or knitting, and writing letters. All these things can be taught with kits and instruction books, and there are sometimes other people who will host a class in their home.They do not have to like everything, or do it all, but giving them exposure to these things will be like an investment: you will notice that interest will accumulate on some of these things.

Having something to do her hands, is important for a young girl, because, if she does not learn to do something useful with her hands, she will find it more attractive to roll dice, deal cards, or worse than that, hold an alcoholic drink in one hand and a cigarette in another. Girls who learn to create with their hands are generally more satisfied with life and more content. Older women have to be careful about their influence on younger women, and they, too, should "redeem the time."

Hospitality is a wonderful solution to fill the social needs of women, young and old. Tea parties are perhaps the easiest thing to prepare, since they do not require much in preparation, compared to hot meals with several side dishes. Tea parties --maybe just some fragrant tea with a plate of attractively cut up fruit or vegetables and dip, and homemade muffins, are more affordable and can include children. I have noticed that the people who have come to teas have been the lovers of the home and family. When people just can't get away from some responsibilities at home and accept your hospitality, it is easy to pack up a tea-to-go and deliver it to them.

Mary Brooks Pickens, who wrote sewing instruction books in the 1920's, stated that in all the sewing classes she had taught, she noticed that the girls who learned to sew and to create with their hands--those with busy hands, had the most stable families and were the most content, and the less troubled of all people. These leisure activities seem to calm the soul and build the intellect more than the mindless, unchallenging games and vices that people indulge in.

There is so much to do that is interesting and relaxing, that young women do not need to resort to gaming and vice of any sort. These wholesome, creative activities build up the person doing them, and edify others around them, as opposed to some things that are not only silly, but create a let-down when the excitement of the moment is gone. The games that are so popular in neighborhoods now, are not something I could picture the Proverbs 31 woman or the Titus 2 woman playing. I b elieve women can develop their intelligence and their talents, and fill their time much better. I believe they are made of something better and made for something much higher and nobler than the games people play.

**
Pro 9:13 - (Adam Clarke, Bible commentator - 1762-1832)
A foolish woman is clamorous - Vain, empty women, are those that make most noise. And she that is full of clamor, has generally little or no sense. We have had this character already, see Pro_7:11. The translation of the Septuagint is very remarkable: Γυνη αφρων και θρασεια, ενδεης ψωμου γινεται, "A lewd and foolish woman shall be in want of bread."