Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Time-Wise Truths

Creative Summer,by Consuelo Gamboa
Afternoon Tea by Paul Fischer from Lovely Whatevers

"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom."

Time is Short

Time is short, the days are fleeting,
Not one step can I retrace.
Every morn a new day greeting,
Yesterday I can't replace.

Help me, Lord, to do thy bidding,
Help me live each new day through
As I would if life were fading
As the sunset comes to view.
-Hazel A. Dillehy
(Christian Woman Magazine, circa 1960)

Using one's time well is a challenge that is best bred in youth, but it can be learned at any age, through diligent practice. Homemakers have such full lives that they wonder where all the time has gone. They are often astonished at the very idea that some would think they are "doing nothing" because they are workers at home, and not going outside the home to work. Young women at college now may not be able to understand the many facets of homemaking until they actually become homemakers.

One of the most important aspects of homemaking is the wise use of time. Everyone has experienced the dismay when a day, through unexpected interruptions, illness, or forgetfulness, just gets away from them. To a woman that loves her home, there seems to be nothing more frustrating than not accomplishing anything worthwhile in a given day. Such times as these are always reminders of how important time is, and how careful we must be not to spend it unwisely.

Quilting Bee in Virginia
There were a number of useful things that women have done, and still do, that are both re-creational, and beneficial to others. Quilting groups were popular, and I can remember ladies coming to our house out on the homestead, spending a day quilting, and leaving a blanket for us. An elderly woman once asked my daughter to come out with her children and peel apples. While they were peeling apples from her apple trees, she told my daughter of the days when women got together to peel apples or shell peas or snap beans. Others got together for Bible studies, focusing on the duties of women of all ages, so that the older generation was consistently reminded, and the next generation of young women would know how to conduct their lives.

There was always the regular work of the house to be done: washing dishes and cooking, sweeping floors, washing clothes and ironing, and in general, keeping the home livable, but there was also a lot of time left to do other things, such as telling stories to children, writing letters, or art projects. Some women had a special visiting day to make calls on people, taking a basket of whatever served their needs. I chat with my own mother frequently, and she tells me that although work was necessary, women used to have many different interests, which they enjoyed enormously in the home. When her mother came to visit us, they made a colorful rag rug together. This kind of activity has an influence on the children in the home.

Best Wishes
Lovely Whatevers

Throughout the ages, wise teachers have always warned women of the folly of wasting time. Time spent resting or truly re-creating with a pleasant activity, is not wasted, if it builds the inner person and benefits the home. A lesson to teenage girls, on this subject, reads:

"The Christian girl should learn to use her time wisely and not spend it in idleness. The woman who spends her time at bridge parties, club meetings, dancing and attending other places of pleasure while she leaves her children with babysitters is eating the bread of idleness, and will likely reap regrets that will out-weigh her satisfaction. The reward of the ideal woman is this: 'Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.' This is the greatest reward a girl can look forward to in life. She excels all others...

"The Christian girl should know that her success in her mission that the Lord made her for, depends upon preparation. She should build into her character every trait that is found in the virtuous woman of the Bible. If she does this, her value will be far above rubies." --(From The Christian Girl, book four, Lesson 7, by Mamie W. Hayhurst, published 1964)

Preachers were open with their reminders to the way women spent their time, knowing of the distractions that would draw them from their love of the home:

"The unhappiest people in the world are those who have nothing to do but have a good time. Idleness explains the discontent and bitterness of many, both rich and poor. Idleness permits the imagination to run riot, and exposes a person to all kinds of worries and fears." (from "Do's and Don'ts for the Christian," chapter 12, by Leroy Brownlow, published 1951)

Concerning the home, this same preacher wrote: "Women's feminine endowments have especially equipped her for homemaking. The touch of her hand can transform a hovel into a palace, because it takes more than lumber, nails, brick and mortar to make a home. There is a great distinction between a house and a home...There is more to homemaking than keeping a house. In addition to keeping a tidy house, the wife should make an atmosphere of love, happiness,...cheerfulness..."

Women who really want a stable family and a respectable dwelling place for them, will be serious about the way they spend their time. When women, as well as young girls in the home, spend their spare time making something beautiful, they will have something to show for their leisure time. When young girls opt to go out with the girls and sit for hours drinking or playing games, they come away with nothing to show for their time, and time can never be recovered, once it is wasted. In past posts, I have made the comparison between re-creation, a way of reviving the body and the spirit, and wreck-reation, which is a result of participation in something called vice. Vice is anything that is addictive and tears down, rather than builds up, good character. Vice is the opposite of virtue. One of the several meanings of "virtue" is: the practice of goodness.

While it is beneficial to enjoy family life by playing board games and other kinds of games, some games can become vices when they call women away from their families regularly. Games can be addictive, but they can also cause women to lose their dignity and become less of an example to their children and younger women.
It is all well and good to enjoy leisure time, but anything can be taken down the wrong road and turned into a vice if it breaks down the home rather than builds it up. Some young women who have constant trials in their home life, or are not consistent in their worship habits, will faithfully attend bingo games or neighborhood bunko (dice) games.

During these games, women forget that they are to be examples to younger women, and lose all personal restraint. Instead of behaving like ladies, they are loud and boisterous, throwing all care to the wind, and acting as if there were no tomorrow. Women at these parties sometimes behave and dress in an unlady-like way. Proverbs 9 calls this kind of woman "clamorous."**

I have stated previously that there is nothing wrong with playing games, but it would be better to stay home and play with the entire family. Some girls just do not want to grow up, still thinking they should go out with the girls. Since older women are told to be "sober" (serious-minded), in Titus 2, we all need to be reminded that young women become older women, who will then be called on to teach other younger women. The practice of goodness, rather than the practice of vice, is a habit that needs to be formed in youth.

I have attended some of these things by invitation, at least once, and stayed long enough to discover how foolish the time was being spent. I heard of several occasions in which visitors attended a ladies Bible class, only to find that the Christian women were in a hurry to finish the prescribed Bible study lesson, so that they could clear the tables and have a rousing game of bunko(a dice-rolling game).

My family played games at home when I was little, (and I think it is very nice if parents will play games with their children) but when I learned to be creative and do things with my hands, I preferred to do something else. I discovered that drawing, writing, reading, crafting, sewing, decorating, and doing things for others, as a hobby, didn't require that I wait my turn. I could make as much progress as I wanted, without waiting for someone else to take their turn.

Lovely Whatevers
(Advertisement for a Fountain Pen)

I think it is really important to expose girls to the delights of things like making your own paper dolls, all kinds of art work and various craft projects, writing and acting out their own plays, learning to sing or write poems, packing a basket for a picnic, and enjoying it in the old fashioned way on a quilt, visiting someone who is shut-in and taking a box or bag of goodies to cheer them, enjoying scenery and nature walks, designing and sewing their own clothing, crochet or knitting, and writing letters. All these things can be taught with kits and instruction books, and there are sometimes other people who will host a class in their home.They do not have to like everything, or do it all, but giving them exposure to these things will be like an investment: you will notice that interest will accumulate on some of these things.

Having something to do her hands, is important for a young girl, because, if she does not learn to do something useful with her hands, she will find it more attractive to roll dice, deal cards, or worse than that, hold an alcoholic drink in one hand and a cigarette in another. Girls who learn to create with their hands are generally more satisfied with life and more content. Older women have to be careful about their influence on younger women, and they, too, should "redeem the time."
Hospitality is a wonderful solution to fill the social needs of women, young and old. Tea parties are perhaps the easiest thing to prepare, since they do not require much in preparation, compared to hot meals with several side dishes. Tea parties --maybe just some fragrant tea with a plate of attractively cut up fruit or vegetables and dip, and homemade muffins, are more affordable and can include children. I have noticed that the people who have come to teas have been the lovers of the home and family. When people just can't get away from some responsibilities at home and accept your hospitality, it is easy to pack up a tea-to-go and deliver it to them.

Mary Brooks Pickens, who wrote sewing instruction books in the 1920's, stated that in all the sewing classes she had taught, she noticed that the girls who learned to sew and to create with their hands--those with busy hands, had the most stable families and were the most content, and the less troubled of all people. These leisure activities seem to calm the soul and build the intellect more than the mindless, unchallenging games and vices that people indulge in.
There is so much to do that is interesting and relaxing, that young women do not need to resort to gaming and vice of any sort. These wholesome, creative activities build up the person doing them, and edify others around them, as opposed to some things that are not only silly, but create a let-down when the excitement of the moment is gone. The games that are so popular in neighborhoods now, are not something I could picture the Proverbs 31 woman or the Titus 2 woman playing. I b elieve women can develop their intelligence and their talents, and fill their time much better. I believe they are made of something better and made for something much higher and nobler than the games people play.
Pro 9:13 - (Adam Clarke, Bible commentator - 1762-1832)
A foolish woman is clamorous - Vain, empty women, are those that make most noise. And she that is full of clamor, has generally little or no sense. We have had this character already, see Pro_7:11. The translation of the Septuagint is very remarkable: Γυνη αφρων και θρασεια, ενδεης ψωμου γινεται, "A lewd and foolish woman shall
be in want of bread."


Anonymous said...

Very wise words... Thank you for sharing this with us. It's very much appreciated. Love, Linda

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...a breath of fresh air! Thank you.

Theo-Ann said...

wonderful...right up my alley! I've been doing Sunday School lessons for teen girls on the Proverbs 31 woman. A lot of focus is on using your hands for it! God wants us to use our time for Him. Thanks for your thoughts.

Raggedy Cottage Garden said...

Thank you for sharing this. I often remember my Grandmother going to quilting groups. My other grandmother was often making things with her hands. It is good to pass on good activities that are Godly in character. Sometimes it seems that there are very few young women left who actually participate in Godly activities in the home.

Marqueta (Mar-kee-ta) G. said...

Dear Lady Lydia,

Such wonderful words of wisdom! I am glad to find that I am not the only one who would rather be busy quilting than get together and play games! My mother gets together with a group of women with whom she went to high school. They go out to eat once a month at different restaurants, and I think it is a shame that they are not using their time to serve others, instead of gossiping and eating expensive food.



Lydia said...

I was not able to find information on these neighborhood dice games that women play (exclusive of their husbands and children in women's night out). When I typed in the names of these various games, they would actually come up on the searches in relation to churches, being announced in church bulletins as games being held in their fellowship areas, or games with a pot in which everyone cast in some money, a portion to be donated to the church. It is no wonder so many ministers approve of the game. I could not find any articles that explained why Christian women should not play them, yet 50 years ago our mothers and grandmothers taught us not to do it. My daughter, Mrs. Humphrey, and her cousin, Rosie Bumphrey, (at the Pleasant Times blogspot) did a search also, and Rosie said, "Ma is going to be the first to attack a sacred cow."

Anonymous said...

So very true, and clamorous is exactly right. Please, in all seriousness: Warn your sons, everyone! Sometimes a young woman like that seems cheerful and so exciting with all her endless social activity, especially to a young man who is feeling a bit restless with the quiet life. A young man might be attracted to her buoyancy, not noticing her lack of substance until it's too late! Lady Lydia, your articles are important for our sons as well as our daughters. They need to think seriously about the future.

Anonymous said...

We attended a baby shower for our DIL last weekend and I was alarmed to overhear that some of the young women in attendance (who already have babies and young children) were planning to have a "get away" weekend without husbands and children, they specifically said they wanted to go away with their girlfriends, away from their spouses and little ones. It saddened me greatly, although I know it is a common things nowadays for families to have separate vacations. Keep writing these encouraging articles. Blessings, Anne

Anonymous said...

Excellent article. I agree on the gaming, and as another commenter mentioned, these "Girls Night Out" can also be a danger. I see this around me all the time, mothers and wives whining that they need to "get out." So they dress up and layer on the makeup and head out to the bar and drink. It's embarrassing to watch.

~ Ann

Lydia said...

People learn from modern therapists, psychologists, counsellors, even classes in colleges and high schools, that getting out with a group to party is a very important aspect of releasing tension, and that home is stiltifying and will cause brain atrophy. THey do not know how to relax in more re-creating ways; ways that will also benefit others. Sometimes even when they visit a doctor or clinic, they get a questionairre to fill out that asks for personal details of the way they spend their spare time, or what they do all day; it sends a message to the doctor and he keeps a tally on all this. It was one of the things that the so called "cloistered-home-school" syndrome was based on. Anyone who is home, and has a health problem--well, the staying home part of it can be suspect, in today's opinions. I challenged that "cloistered" syndrom, on my guard the home blog, and asked if people were not also cloistered in offices, the post office, classrooms, factories, and doctors offices. WHen girls have to have a girls night out, it is also a result of early habits. In childhood, they get used to slumber parties, and they continue this behavior even when they are married women. I don't mind a pyjama party if if is my daughter and granddaughter, or a friend that I am staying with, and it is not disturbing a home or causing someone to be neglected. I like to stay up late sometimes and eat popcorn, but forming relationships with my daughter and granddaughter are more important than partying away from home.

I had difficulty finding very much on the internet written by Christians about the habit of gaming. One site I did find was an athiest blogger who related her experience with a Christian ladies Bible class that had a bunko game each week. She was disgusted, and she was not even a Christian.

Anonymous said...

I grew up around ladies on our street, in the community and in church as well as our relatives who got together to help and instruct each other. Through the years I saw them do so much together. They canned together and did gardening together and pinned hems in dresses to be hemmed later for each other. Taught each other to crochet or sew or knit. Gave each other a hair permanent. Taught one how to make a bound button hole or how to set a pretty table. It was always done after the usual daily chores and they were home before their husbands got home from work and in plenty of time to have supper ready. The little ones always came along. By learning the new hobbies and such together they learned a skill that later helped their families and passed on information, knowledge and was just plain fun. Sadly when it was time for my sisters and I to take up being homemakers these women had moved or gone home to the Lord. Times too had changed and we had moved by this time from this community to our regret, and our new neighbors all seemed to think working outside of the home was the way to live. We continued to stay at home very willingly. None of us live in the same states but try when we can to inspire young girls and wives to come back home. To show young men the value of their now or future wives to support them at home. I cry easily though remembering how we thought those days of men working together for the good of all and women doing the same was so very common. The ladies would get together and make bazzar crafts and repot plants etc for a yearly bazzar to help with the church expenses. All done on those off hours together or at their own home. They would get together and stitch or repair the cloths for the church altar or help with new curtains for the Sunday school rooms. Oh how dear the memories of these precious women. Sorry to write so long...I just get so homesick to again be among such women and men of God. Jody

Secondhand Blessings said...

This article was an eye opener for me. Before I got married, I used to invite my single friends from church over for a "Game Day". It would be mostly for fellowship with people of like mind and it would also be a potluck where everyone would bring a dish. We discussed bible related topics while we played games. I always felt like it was serving others because the singles in the church, who live alone often would talk about how lonely life was.
I guess a better alternative would be like getting together to do a craft project.
Scrapbooking or making greeting cards would be a wise use of our time.
Thanks for the excellent article.

Lydia said...


Why cannot ladies get out their best china and serve tea and just visit? Games do bring a lot of talking and noise,but these days they also may include gambling.That is one thing that keeps the ladies going week after week to the parties. These days they also include drinking. They could also play the same games within the family, instead of leaving them for a night out with friends.

Little Natural Cottage said...

What a wonderful post, Lydia... so very, very true! I am a young woman in my 20's, and I can say that I listen to stories about women gathering together to cook, or sew, or do other "womanly" chores, with a sense of regret on what my generation is missing. The sad truth is that most young women in my circle of acquaintances are disinterested in learning domestic arts, and most older women I know are too preoccupied with their own lives to teach the younger women, even if they wanted to learn. We live in a very mobile but disconnected world.

Your post stirs the desire I have to preserve a sense of beauty and fulfillment in domestic femininity with our two daughters.

Love, Kristy

DarcyLee said...

Thank you so much for this wonderful article. It reminded me of all the skills that my own grandmother had, who recently passed away. She knew how to sew, crochet, knit, paint pictures and ceramic figures, can, cook, and bake. Vacations were always with her husband and kids, and oftentimes with extended family members. If they went to play games at another couples' house, the children always went with them to socialize with the hosts' children. Neighbors were always another way to connect with people and is something I am sorry to say is lacking in our society today. I feel many times that the internet can give me a little of that instruction that I can't get from my own neighbors or even family members because they just aren't interested in domestic skills. Again, thanks for the encouragement.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,

I love the home and being a "keeper" at home... and the domestic feminine arts. I do not come from a home that was stable and warm, and when I look at my aging mother I realize that she is a "party" girl.... and that is the only thing that makes her happy. Very instant gratification, and the gatherings always include drinking and just socializing.. and I always, always came away drained and feeling empty. Longing for something of value. Reading about this really gave me more understanding... and I am thankful.
It is so sad to watch women just run from one activity to another and not accomplish anything, to waste time. I know it is important to practice hospitality, and some of my best memories have been going to a friends and helping clean or being a part of a project..

Anonymous said...

My grandmother used to talk about how she would make things at "Home Bureau". Does anyone remember this and have more info about it? She used to make rag rugs, embroidered pillow-cases, dresser scarves, kitchen towels, and doll clothes. She had a beautiful granny square afghan on the back of her sofa and nice soft throw pillows to snuggle up with. When we visited her, the evenings were spent on her sun porch, usually just the women relatives "catching up" on what was going on with our families. We kids used to love sitting out there listening to the stories and playing with the buttons in Gram's button box. How I miss those days!

Kay said...

I've hunted for some like-minded women in my church to quilt with & the few that do quilt, do so as a family. (Good for them, not so good for me.)

Our little rural neighborhood has a few women who still value their homes and families and like to be there best. I hold on to those ladies as dear friends.

And after I decided to come to grips with my longing for companions at our church, I was asked by a dear young mom in our neighborhood to help her learn to use her sewing machine. Maybe the mantle has been passed to me without me knowing? :o)

Mrs. Anna T said...

Thank you so much, again, for another encouraging post.

KTHunter said...

I found information on the "Home Bureau" here
When I googled that phrase, I found a lot more entries. Interestingly enough, it was somewhat related to the 4-H Clubs. I did 4-H back in elementary school. I am not sure if they still have that in school, but it had a lot of interesting learning modules about raising food and animals that were not provided for in the rest of our curriculum. I kind of miss that. It also reminded me of the "radio homemakers" of the 40s and 50s, where in a half-hour show a lady would share local news, recipes, cleaning tips, etc. It was great for isolated farm wives that did not get to meet with other ladies very often. It gave them a link to the outside world and gave them a means to exchange information about the domestic arts.

Anonymous said...

I'm not being contentious, and just for the record I don't enjoy bingo or bunko-- but I have to ask why quilting is necessarily any better? Have you read the chapter in the Anne books (I think it's Rainbow Valley) where Anne hosts a quilting bee and the women spend it gossiping?

Some of the most irritating events I've attended have been scrapbooking parties put on by older church ladies where I felt pressured to buy supplies and make something I didn't need and didn't care for. I love to make things with my hands (knit & crochet mostly), but quilting and scrapbooking are not for me (although I've made 2 quilts). There are knitting groups that are not edifying (Google "Stitch n' B*tch").

I guess my point is that women can be clamorous while doing crafts as well as while playing games; perhaps the point ought to be not "don't play bunko" but "don't be a clamorous, foolish woman"? Crafting is not necessarily more godly than gaming, just because it is more aesthetically pleasing.

Sorry if I'm coming across too bluntly; like I said I don't mean to be contentious or play devil's advocate too much and I actually don't care for bunko and bingo either. I just am curious how the wise ladies here would answer my objections, which I know are the ones I'd get were I to bring this up with my church ladies?

faerieeva said...

A wonderful post, Lady Lydia. I find myself so much more contented if I have something creative in my hands while I am relaxing. Does it sound strange that I relax more if I have something to do? A friend came to visit me some months back and I have such great memories of doing a game of scrabble together, while I was knitting. And she was sad to be without her stitching.

Have you ever read the book: "no idle hands, a social history of American Knitting". While some of the commentary has a clear feminist undertone the research and the diary excerpts are absolutely superb. It shows exactly what you describe, how children were trained up to be busy, and how women always took some work to a social gathering. It goes from the pilgrim days to the late eighties I believe, with specific attention to knitting for the soldiers during several wars, the knitting of socks, and the way it fit in the lives of girls and women.
I think you would really enjoy the historic details of this book and the work and joys of busy women.
Be loved and blessed,

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I should have clarified in my previous comment that I have no problem with the basic point of your post-- that we should use our time wisely-- it was just the specific example of crafting vs. gaming that made me curious. Thanks!

Just Me said...

Much food for thought.

Thank you.

Lydia said...

I have observed that there are many church bulletins from conservative churches, which post that bunco is a game that regquires no skill, and in which men and children are not allowed. The following is from a church bulletin:

Why should you play Bunko?????

• Requires no skills – you can talk while you play!

• Requires no concentration – it’s so easy!

• It’s relaxing and fun – good food and conversations!

• You can get to know your sisters in Christ

on a more personal level!

• It’s a great way to reach out and invite some friends!

• No men or children allowed!

Notice that bunko requires no skill and no brains. At least with quilting or knitting, you come away with something to show for your time, and you can give it away. As for conversation, it depends on what group you are in. I don't have to belong to a group to quilt or knit or crochet, so I do that on my own. I also make cards on my own and craft on my own. It would be too distracting to have a group around when I do these things, and I would not get as much done. I do see your point about the gossip: I walked into a knitting group in a fabric store and was utterly shocked at what was going on. You should choose a group that has strong Christian values, and is careful with the tongue, not just any group. If someone wants to be in a group to learn a skill, why not just find a tutor. It helps you control what is being discussed, if you are the teacher. YOu have a choice. YOu don't have to belong to a group, and you don't have to waste time playing games with the girls, which is just a substitute for girls night out, and there is nothing in the Bible that says we must have a girls night out or we will lose our minds. In fact, bunko is more likely to make you lose all sense of time and sense of values in other areas--particularly money and conversation. Everyone has a choice, and there is nothing in the Bible that says "You will go to Hell if you play bunko" but it is like many other vices, in that it is a time waster and can cost you more in the end than it gives you back. Sewing and drawing and writing, and even exercise, on the other hand, gives you something back.

Quilting groups of the the past at least gave you something to show for the time spent, and in most cases, they did not exclude men and children.

There is always the chance of gossip in groups, and for the most part, modern women are too dependent upon groups and not dependent enough upon their own families in the home, nor are they independent enough to work on their own, as the pioneer women did.

If they want to play bunco, what is the big deal about playing it with their children at home? The objection I have to it is that it is an addiction, and that it is a stupid game that wastes the time of a homemaker and it puts you in association with people who have nothing better to do.

It has no redeeming value in the long run and I taught my daughter not to get in the habit of playing these loud games with other women.

Quilting and tea parties are still enjoyable, and although they stimulate conversation, they do not require slamming a cup on the table and yelling loudly, or rattling dice.

As I said before, It does not seem like something you could even imagine the Proverbs 31 woman doing, although many worldly women of that time did indulge in dice games, and always have.

I can't imagine the Titus 2 women of Bible times teaching the younger women the things they needed to know about the home, then having a bunko game afterwards, as it is silly, and not sober---a LOT of silly and a lot of ridiculous behavior. As I said before, the only thing I could find on the web against it was an atheist who was really rattled at the way Christian women behaved. Other than that, the churches are full of bunko games, as if they can't keep people's interest for long unless they sponsor a game of some sort. Young women go untaught about the basics of the Christian woman's role, and the church women are playing games! We get posts on here all the time from women saying they do not know how to sweep a floor or wash dishes or make beds or keep up with the laundry or make their houses pretty. We don't need bunko, to fill their needs.

If one wants to relax and enjoy company, it should be restful, and not party-ish. The parties you are talking about are selling parties, which I also avoid. If someone wants me to have an evening in their home, I think it should be sincerely an act of hospitality, not an opportunity to sell me something or get me in a regular group that plays loud games, eats junk food and parties into the evening as if there were no consequences. There will always be women who do this, but I don't think a woman who is seriously in love with her family and wants to make her home beaufitul, will be anxious to leave it to play a stupid game every week with women only.

I was ashamed of the church bulletin article I just posted because it said it was a way to get to know your sisters in Christ. I can get to know someone much better over a fragrant cup of tea at my dining table, with some candles lit and some pretty flowers on the table.

Trying to get to know someone better in a wild and unrefined game like bunko, is like going to a movie --there isn't any time to do it because of all the other noise going on.

If women are that desperate for the fellowship of other women, why don't they dress up femininely, put a soft cloth on a table, set it with pretty tea cups, serve a sandwich and a scone, and enjoy one another's conversation? It could be that in this day and age, there are just a lot of women who cannot boil water.

I do not think quilting or card making could ever be classified as the kind of foolishiness that bunko games are, nor do I thnk they are accompanied by the addictive behavior and the desire to win, that bunko games do.

Why not do an experiment some time and put one woman at home making something and another woman in a bunko game and see what the result is and what they come home with.

Now, of course, some people want to live by rules only, and they think that if the BIble does not say "Thou shalt not play bunko" that they can play it. But what about wisdom, and what about knowledge and understanding and doing good and being benevolent and being workers at home? If any game violates that, I don't think it is valuable to the woman.

I do not know why having someone over for tea is too tame for some women. You can have just as much fun at one, and get to know people much better than at a game.

Lydia said...

Raven: the loudness and the swearing that goes on in some knitting groups, as well as the fact that these women leave their children so they can go out to the parties that sell things, is just as dispicable as gaming.

Anonymous said...

Lady Lydia,
This was a wonderful, edifying post!
Perhaps the silver lining in this recession will be more time spent at home in more creative ways instead of running around using up gas and wasting time on frivolous pursuits.
You have definitely inspired me to try to learn more productive and creative skills, and to teach them to my children! A great website with some resources for learning how to knit, crochet, etc. is
Thank you for your Godly encouragement and inspiration!

Anonymous said...

The following is from a church bulletin:

Why should you play Bunko?????

• Requires no skills – you can talk while you play!
"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalms 90:12
"The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness." Proverbs 15:14

• Requires no concentration – it’s so easy!
"Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God." Proverbs 2:3-5
"Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." Proverbs 4:7

• It’s relaxing and fun – good food and conversations!
"Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls. And they continued
steadfastly in the apostiles doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers." Acts 2:41-42

• You can get to know your sisters in Christ on a more personal level!
"And these all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren." Acts 1:14

• It’s a great way to reach out and invite some friends!
"She stretcheth out her hands to the poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20

• No men or children allowed!
"The aged women.....That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,
to love their children....." Titus 2:3-4
The question is not "What is wrong with Bunko'?, but rather, "What is Biblical about Bunko?"

Dominoes is the game that was played on the 'ladies' game night'...the one and only I a church we attended many years ago. I was shocked and very disgusted at the whole circus I was surrounded by. Some of the women were, in my opinion and as you said, very addicted to the game...actually, to the WINNING of the game. I had never played before and found absolutely NO patience from anyone for my 'learning curve', these creatures were out to WIN. These women were animals. These women also had SLUMBER PARTIES FOR THE GROWN WOMEN ONLY!!! I had never heard of such a thing in all my life....and I have been around the block a time or two!

There was a Bunko night at that church that was for the couples. We attended this only once, also. I was so disgusted at the repulsive waste of time and the absolute brainlessness of the whole evening. And again, NO patience for a new player, only high pressure to get in as many rounds as could be.

Perhaps I am really that stupid that I didn't seem to catch on to the game, but I remember being so distracted by the shock of observing two rooms full of adults calling themselves followers of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ doing something so completely and entirely without profit and with so militant an attitude towards it. I vowed, never again. And we did leave that group.

You quoted an athiest woman who related her experience at a ladies Bible study. This is a similar link, and there is a comment she made about how the women dressed, which is something you have posted about on this blog many times before.

Anonymous said...


There are so few people speaking out about this time waster.

It is worrisome the amount of excuses and reasoning to justify this game.

You can justify anything with the exuces that people give.

Anonymous said...

This post gave me a lot of food for thought. I recently started teaching a young adults Sunday School class at church and had the opportunity this past weekend at camp to be the dorm leader of female young adults and host a breakout session for them. Just today I looked at myself and thought about the type of example I am to them. They look up to me but I did some deep thinking about certain things and realized that there are some things that need to change if I am to be a growing example to them in their lives. This post helped me to delve more into the thought processes I had this morning. Thanks so much.

Lydia said...

If a person needs rest and recreation and time off, there are so many more pleasant and reviving things that build up the soul and body, that can be done. It seems like the families would be happier if a woman spent the hours making a pie or cinnamon rolls, or even looking at good books for ideas to make the home more lovely. Bunko and bingo just do not give you anything back the way that other activities will. I have seen what these games do to Christian women and it is not the Titus 2 or Proverbs 31 example. I have never known of a woman who played these games who had a good stable marriage, good children, and was a good example in other ways. While it is a LOT of fun to play games at home, there is just something not quite right about leaving the family to go each week for a mindless hour of rolling dice.