Sunday, August 25, 2019

Many Books

Painting: Carl Vilhelm Holsoe (Danish artist, 1863-1935)

Hello Ladies,

As I have been sorting through an accumulation of books and other publications, I hear Solomon's words, "of the making of many books there is no end, and much study is wearying to the body." (Ecclesiastes 12:12)

Those words were always at the forefront of my mind when I acquired a book, but I wasn't paying attention to how many volumes I was accumulating, and would one day have to clean, sort, cull, etc. and consequently, as Emma said, there is a grim job to be done. 

I could never hope to remember all the things in books, but most of them were interesting or informative in some way and I enjoy owning them. Yet, I know I only retained a very small percentage of what was in them, if any. Still, it has been convenient to be able to look up something. Half of these books are cookbooks, old and young! 

Naturally, I came across some religious books that dealt with the home. Some were books of sermons and others were ladies Bible class books on family life, many from the 1940's and 50's.  The smallest book, missing its  cover, said, "Let nothing come between you."

I thought they were interesting but one thing I observed over the years: You can't learn how to raise children or have a happy marriage by reading human-authored books on those subjects.  Each one will have a slight bias, based on the author's own experience and religious views.

You have to learn by getting to know those people you live with.  Also, it crossed my mind, and maybe this is far-fetched, but what if you were a husband or a child that was completely trusting in his wife or mother, and used to talking over things, working things  out between you, and one day the woman you loved so much decided to follow a book, in order to develop a relationship between you.

I would actually feel betrayed if my mother decided to follow books written by other people, "experts" in order to raise me, and I think I would feel a little left out if Mr. S. started following a book on marriage, instead of talking with me. I would feel the books had come between us.  I don't think we can use books as our guides in relationships, because, unlike cooking or cleaning or building a house, it is a lot different when dealing with a human being that you love.

As a wife or a child, I might think, "I guess the rules are changing again, since my husband/ parent read the latest book. The ups and downs of such changes, based on someone's book, might remove whatever trust I had.

There is a new marriage book out every year, isn't there?
Type in "marriage books" on Pinterest and see how many come up!

(picture from pinterest)

 Besides that, everyone has their own individual personality, and not every method described in these books will not be applicable to all people.

But I am just sharing this as a possibility. You might not see a problem with it.

It is one reason I do not publish a book on marriage. 

The only thing I can do is encourage younger women to LOVE their husband and children.  And if you read I Corinthians 13, you can see how to do that!!

Among other things, the passage says love is patient and kind. Can we be patient and kind? That is part of love.

It also says love doesn't gloat or be happy at someone's mistakes. We can teach our children not to do that to their siblings.  That is love!

As you read through 1st Corinthians 13, maybe you can apply each "love is..." phrase to yourself and ask how you can achieve it.

There: that's my book on marriage!

What do you think?
Please leave a comment.

(picture from Pinterest)


Dawn E. Brown said...

Oh I love this.Scripture is my guide.Thank you for this encouragement.Bless you.You are so needed by the younger generation,if they will but listen.Dawn E. Brown

lynn maust said...

Wonderful! I never would have thought that advice books could come between people like that. This is very important information you have us now thinking about....and we don't have to even think long either....just go by the Bible verses you pointed out...and those that go with them. Thanks, Lydia .....

lynn maust said...

I just went to Pintrest or whatever it's called. Tons of relationship books....mercy!

Lydia said...

We have allowed ourselves to be counsellors sometimes and have observed that the wife knows her husband best, and the counsellor doesn't have lifetime information one the couple's history. Sometimes the person who seeks counselling leaves out important details on their attitudes and the actions of the spouse, and no counselling helps unless they wil both honestly apply ! Corinthians 13.

Lisa said...

This is great advice! I remember jumping from one parenting book to another, and again trying out one home schooling curriculum after another. My poor children! They are all well and high functioning adults and I have a great relationship with each one, but oh! the journey would have been far sweeter if Momma had just calmed down and stuck to one playbook, God’s Word and her own good upbringing examples!
Lisa in CO

Mrs. Christopher Daniels said...

Well said

Lydia said...

Lisa, very well stated, and great observation! Lack of confidence is the root of it.

Lydia said...

Mrs. Daniels, you are so cute.

Laura Smith said...

I thought is was interesting the other day when I pondered the time I spent reading more books about the Bible than the Bible itself. I decided I would only read a chapter in another book after I spent time reading some chapters in the Bible. Thank you Lydia for reminding us of books getting in the "way".

Amy B said...

This has been a thought slowing bubbling to the surface this year. I have so many books that many raved about, but are sitting on my shelf collecting dust. Some I look at and realize that I have no real desire to read; the season past. For a long while I felt guilty about not having read them or even entertaining the thought of just selling them without reading them {gasp}. But, just the thought you brought up, along with the realization that each of these books is a voice competing for space in my mind and my precious time. So today, I’ve decided that I will limit the voices and freely, without guilt, cull my bookshelves (and the very many boxes of unpacked and even unread books). Less is more. I only want to take advice from those who are living the life that I desire, who will challenge and encourage me to grow in God’s grace and not at the frenetic pace of the world.

Thank you so much for this topic!

Dianne said...

Wonderful perspective....well said!!!

Lydia said...

Amy that gives me some helpful ideas. I often got a book because it cost nearly nothing, was second hand, clearance, etc. even Dollar Tree had nice books. But sometimes and more often than not, there was one small sentence or some page with something that was not to my liking, and I kept the book. I have friends that just tear out the pages they don't like, aren't pretty, etc. of books they got free, and others use the books for crafts. They paste in a lot of pretty scrapbook and rubber stamp things and or paint over the pages, and make another book!! Others have stacked up books and made towers to stand lamps on, etc. I've been into books since childhood but I wish I had been shown how to write my own instead of reading all those authors!! Like you said, it is information from these books we have to cull inside our heads, too!! A lot of the problem is from being of a certain age and having kept it all ;-)