Thursday, July 10, 2014

Manners at Home: Refined Speech

We love to have serenity in the home. so we clean and beautify and add all kinds of elegant touches.

 Our speech should be as refined and as beautiful as the prettiest things we value at home. 

 Rude, critical remarks and crudeness spoil the sweet atmosphere.

 No lady who was  in her right mind would dare to serve her guests a cup of tea in a dirty teacup, and a guest would not even think of bringing her personal trash into a house where she was invited.  It seems though, that there is a big disconnection regarding the way women talk these days. There is no greater blame on the young, than on the old.  While we might expect filthy talk from those "who never knew our God," we are in real trouble when ladies of the Lord's church become careless in their manner of speaking.

In days gone by, especially in the home, parents guarded the speech of their children carefully not just to avoid rudeness, but to keep crude talk from tainting the family and making home life unpleasant.  While Christian women generally agree that swearing and cursing should never be included in their conversation,  there are those who do not realize that talk of bodily functions, private husband-wife relationships, jokes about private parts of our bodies,  references to physical desire, and innuendos about such things, are included in the Bible's admonition to have pure speech. (Colossians 4:6 and Titus 2:8) 

Ladies need  to develop a sense of shame, and be able to blush when such descriptions are spoken, and be aware of the harm they cause.  I have heard women say that as long as there is no one "under the age of 18" in a room, that it is okay to talk about everything from underwear to intimate relationships in detail. 

 While we always need to be careful around little ears that we do not violate their innocence with talk about grown-up things they are not ready for, we also have to understand that it is possible to offend the purity of anyone, any age, whether married or not.  The more a Christian lady strives for pure thinking and pure living (unblemished by filth), the more she would be aware of how speaking of things which are "done in the dark" can harm the pure in heart, no matter what age they are.

Lectures on pure speech often bring up questions about things that are recorded in the Bible, and whether or not it is okay to discuss them.  This all depends on how such situations involving sin are discussed.  Just because it is the Bible that is being discussed, it does not give ladies leeway to indulge in impure curiosity and talk of a sensuous nature regarding the Bible characters of the tiniest details of sin.

  I have observed many mothers over the years who were very successful in teaching their children about the sin that is described in the scriptures and still not indulge in corrupting details.  

Nonetheless, there are still some women who may find it hard to discern what should and what should not be spoken out loud, so I will suggest some guidelines to abide by.  That way, if a situation comes up and a person is tempted to join in an unwholesome discussion, they can think of these rules.

1. Avoid talk about personal bodily functions. Even discussing your digestive tract can be a problem when other ladies just want to have polite, cheerful, uplifting conversation. Keep your monthly cycle totally private and never mention it in a sewing circle or a ladies Bible Class. 

2. Speak not of things that create pictures in the mind of immodesty of any sort.

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