Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Cultivating Gentleness - 1

The pictures here today are from Pinterest

Continuing a theme of gentle words, I want to give a few hints on how to be more gentle,
-you don't need to raise your voice unless the person you are addressing is a great distance away. They can hear you when in the same room.

-These are human beings created by God, with souls you may be damaging by your outbursts.
-No one will seek your company if they have been a recipient of your wrath.
-Children, siblings, parents, grandparents are traumatized by a rage that no one seems to be able to appease.
-Letting out a stream of insults is like emptying a feather pillow in a rage. It is easy to empty it but never possible to gather all the flying pieces and put them back in.  When warning young women about the letting out every hateful thought, told Greek story of Pandora's box comes to mind.
-Keeping meanness to yourself is better than harming other people with your words.
-Avoid verbal entrapment, which is the technique of manipulating an answer to make the other person guilty, by framing a question that gets a desired answer and "puts words in their mouth." In such a situation the other person ends up bewildered and unable to escape a trap into an argument they do not want.
-You don't need to raise your voice if the person you are addressing speaks the same language and is not resisting you or attacking you.
-Learn the practice of empathy. People who are shrieking are not really caring about the one on the receiving end.
-Harshness is a lack of gentleness. It can put children and others in a state of shock.
-Your respect authority can be destroyed by lack of gentleness. You become a "clanging gong". You might want to look up the meaning and history of the noisy cymbal and clanging gong.
-There is no need to go into a screech or a tantrum if the person you are addressing is looking at you and is not arguing back.

Before you erupt in a rage and say insulting things, consider this:

-you are creating memories for someone.
-you are sullying the atmosphere of a home someone loves.
-you may be destroying someone's faith.
-you are ruining yourself, and you will have to later make amends.
-you lose your femininity...softness and sweetness.
-you are not helping the other person. You are dealing out punishment the other person cannot escape. Remember God gives grace and you are not greater than God.
-false accusations escape your lips when you are in a rant. This creates more problems because the  accused is left with a bad reputation he cannot clear up.  False accusations and cruel sarcasm are what Christ endured at the mouths of the enemies of God.  May you never resemble such people.


Unknown said...

Thank you..
God bless

ladypinktulip said...

Such good counsel here. I like the part when you said "You are making memories for someone else". Oh that we would ever be able to forget stinging words! They burrow into our soul and it's very hard to get rid of them. They continue to sting many years later. Kelly T.

Laura Jeanne said...

Thank you for this reminder, Lydia. It's all too true that harsh words are hard to take back and that we should all guard our tongues carefully.

I love your clover tea cup!

Southern Ladye said...

I needed this gentle reminder. It is too easy to say what pops in our head. That is why the tongue is considered an unruly member. It can be the hardest to control. And this is definitely an area I can use some work in! Thank you.

anonymous said...

I know this is from the Lord as I have been battling this for a month or more. Hard to stay civil when not getting enough sleep and stressed to the point of tears. Thank you Lydia for the reminder. Many trials lately.
I pray everyday that the Lord puts a guard before my heart and lips that I do not use them to hurt others. Only to glorify Him.

Christine said...

Such a lovely post, Lydia. I do believe we live in a very "loud" and angry society these days. Everywhere you go, people are unafraid and unfettered in displaying their ire over one thing or another. I know a lady who grew up in a home where her mother displayed great anger. She would fly into a rage over some minor issue, and as such the little girl and HER father walked on eggshells trying not to upset her. Eventually, the father got tired of this and left, but the little girl grew up living under extreme stress worrying about the next "eruption". It was a very unstable upbringing and these memories cloud the lady's childhood memories more than any other thing.


Lydia said...

The teacup is from Pinterest. I'm looking for it in thrift shops.

Christine: a screamer will never inspire love, but when in a rage, as my husband says, their thinking is not logical, so they can't see what they are doing to themselves or to others.