Worrying About Money

Concert in the Park, by Leo Carty

Mother and Daughter Overjoyed to See Loved One

by Charles E. Brock

If you are worried about money, in connection to being able to be home full time, there might be something here for you.

When I was growing up, there was rarely a woman who was "worried" about money, or where it would come from to support them. Most wives knew they could trust their husbands to provide for them. Most men and women understood that the husband would worry about how to get the money, and the wife would learn how to pinch a penny and save it and guard it with her life so that it did go out the back door as soon as it came in the front. "Let me worry about the income," he said, 'And you are free to care for the home."

It is not a good thing that the younger women worry and exhaust themselves over making money, today. Part of this is due to their education and upbringing, where they are told consistently that they will have to take care of themselves and earn money. They do it at such an extreme, that some of them actually risk their health, their rest, and their lives. Many women are taking over men's jobs, using heavy equipment, that are very dangerous, and some have actually become debilitated and left their children almost orphans. That is one reason women need to get back to home making and men need to protect the women by being the breadwinners.

One thing that we were careful not to say was "My husband does not make enough money to support us." It would really have embarrassed a man, hurt his feelings tremendously. Such a statement would have been very demeaning to his basic existence as a man. Instead, women would try to find a way to help their husbands succeed and advance in the areas that they needed, by being happy, contented, and emotionally supportive. It was not difficult for men to want to provide the best for such women.

If you are worried about money all the time, you are probably missing out a lot on the joy of homemaking. Women should not worry about earing a living. They should be free to fix up their houses and hum and sing while they think about what to make for dinner. They should be absorbed in how to do the laundry so that the family clothing doesn't look like something they dragged from a rag bag. They should enjoy things like ironing and cleaning and decorating and sewing.

One of the things that has robbed women of this domestic happiness, is worry over money. They worry over it to such an extent, that they take over the man's realm, and sadly, the men let them. As Taylor Caldwell wrote in her essay so many decades ago (Women's Lib, on the theme articles here), when women first began working outside the home so much, men said, "Let 'em work," and began to complain about their bad backs. By worrying about money so much, women enable men to be negligent providers. If they know the women are dependent on them and have confidence in them, they will be more likely to work and to want to work. If the women are just waiting for a chance to jump in and work outside the home, the men will let them.

If you worry about money, there are ways of eliminating the need for it. One way that we have enjoyed is by planting a garden. Even if the food lasts only during the summer, or only for a few meals, those are food items you did not have to buy. Everyone will admit that we are too dependent on the grocery store, and that it is our highest expense after house payments or rent. There is a way to overcome this just by planting something. Our lawns, even if small, cost us more to maintain than they return, when you count the cost of gas to run the mower. Just by turning the edges of the lawns into food-producing rows, you prevent double expenditures. People will think you have very interesting ornamental shrubs when you plant veggies along the sides of lawns and flower beds.

If you have no available lawn, you can always get a pot with some dirt and plant at least one thing that you enjoy eating. My favorite is the tiny cucumbers, commonly called "pickling cucumbers" that I love to eat raw and in salads. This is money I don't have to spend, that can be used to pay a bill or buy gas for the car.

Speaking of gas, you also can cut down quite a bit on running around in the car by seeing how many days you can stay home without going somewhere. Break up the isolation by inviting people to come to see YOU. Then, ask your husband to stop at the grocery store on the way home from work. My husband just loves to do this. There is very little that men can spend money on these days that is affordable, and he likes to see what is new at the grocery store. He enjoys the break from the monotony at the work place, and always calls me to ask if there is anything he can bring home. I try to grow or make everything myself, so that I have the money for things I cannot make: olive oil, flour, fish, some fruits, and various other items.

If you are still worried about money, use only the power you need to function. It is not necessary to have lights and heat on in every single room if you are not using those rooms. Bundle up with more layers of clothing in winter, and learn to dress in light colors and cottons in the summer. Figure out a way, as our ancestors did, of making a natural breezeway in the house, where air can flow more effectively to draw coolness in summer and warmth in winter.

Other ways to avoid spending money are just endless. Avoid the pressure from friends to have clothes and things just because they think you ought to. Sometimes you might get invited to a party where some kind of clothing is required, at your expense. You can always refuse to attend and invite the entire party to your home later on in the week for a tea in their honor. This can apply to weddings, where you might be pressured to buy a certain dress, or to other high-end types of celebrations where you do not want to buy an item that you will use only once, or even buy it at all because you don't really NEED it.

Cutting out fake food (hot dogs, potato chips, pop, packaged mixes) and learning to make delicious main dishes and even desserts from natural ingredients, can prevent over-spending. If you eat only what is in the garden, you can actually survive, as many people before us have done. However if you do not have a garden, you can at least buy foods that God made, in the closest state of natural that you can find.

As usual, I know that there are readers all over the world who have lived happily on their husband's income, worrying only about looking after the home, and still come out with a profit. You are certainly welcome to comment about it.

As you spend less and less, you will gain a stronger feeling of security. We have almost forgotten what money is for. We have been told for decades that we need to keep earning it so we can keep spending it. We need to change our attitude toward money so that if it can no longer be earned, we do not need it. We need to find ways to be less dependent upon it so that when hard times come, we do not have to worry. The Bible teaches this principle when it talks about sowing, reaping, and saving, and giving, the latter being an important principle of prosperity.

Worry about money may become a habit that is hard to break. Women need to concentrate on making the home a wonderful place, without having to have expensive things, so that they can cut down on the worry, but they also need to get in the habit of being good homemakers. In my opinion, just being a good housekeeper prevents spending, because you don't destroy your property and have to have things replaced, and you don't lose things and then have to go to the store to "find" them again because you are in too much of a mess to find what you need. I have seen women spend way too much on cleaning products because they did not remember that they had already bought something and stored it away somewhere. You don't reallyu need cleaning products if you are trying to cut back. You can do a lot of effective cleaning without the storebought chemicals.

Being home is a state of mind, not just an existence. There is something wonderful about the things a woman does at home, and the lightheartedness in which she does it. If young women only knew the power in portraying happiness and confidence at home, their husbands would find ways to