Tuesday, October 07, 2008


I went to see what my daughter and her husband were doing last night, and found them watching a movie on their computer. Apparently if you belong to Netflix and are getting DVD's in the mail, you can also watch anything you want on the web, as well. That makes it really worth the money, and it is nice that you can choose exactly what you want to see.
Last night, they were watching a movie called "Arranged," and it really did my heart good! I laughed all the way through it. It was a very happy movie, although it looked, at times, as if the two girls involved, one Orthadox Jew and one Muslim, were doomed to get matched up with men with no hair or huge egos. In the end, they actually had the choice of whether to "settle" or not settle, and it ended up quite happily. There were several scenes that homeschool girls would have totally identified with: both were ridiculed for dressing so modestly. One was offerred money to go and get something more alluring, but she turned it down.
After so many comments about how they weren't married yet because of their religion, one of them said something like, "We aren't allowed to think about men, because we are too confined at home and dominated by our over-bearing fathers." That is the common belief by "outsiders" when young women are enjoying the oversight of their parents, in choice of a mate, and it amused me to hear it said by the girls that were being scrutinized.
Another scene depicted one of the young women visiting a cousin who had left the family and gone to live in an apartment by herself. She invited her to a party, which totally disillusioned her. Everywhere she turned in that house, there was smoke, loud music, strong drink, immodesty, and pairing up. She decided it wasn't a choice she wanted and returned home. The scene showed the awkwardness that MANY people have felt when they go from a wholesome family life to the seedy world of "independence." I was a little apprehensive that this scene might show something I didn't want to see, but it made the point and moved on quite nicely.
I did not get in on the beginning of this film, so I don't know if there was any coarse language, but still, I got a big kick out of it and felt there was a lot of love in the families. I especially enjoyed the Jewish mother and grandmother in the film, who, having grown frustrated at the daughter's turning down so many men brought by the match-maker, reached over and grabbed each other's hands and lifted their anxious faces to Heaven to thank God for his mercy, when the daughter finally approved of one of the candidates. Her friend, also happily engaged, said to her, "...and he has TEETH!"


Michelle said...

We have Netflix too and love it!
They only have a limited number of films on Instant Play though, which we don't mind since we have a pretty good rotation of their DVD's going. As soon as we watch one, we send it back the next morning, so they're pretty much consistently being shipped to us.

Han said...

(I've been a lurking reader for a while, just stepping out of the shadows for a bit. Great blog, very encouraging!)

I have not seen that movie, but it sounds like a good thing online viewing option.

Just a quick note if you are thinking about getting Netflix-- you can watch a lot of their movies online, and they're adding more and more, but I don't think you can watch all of them yet.

A site that has free movies and television shows to view online (legally) is Hulu.com. They have quite a variety, and you'll find both edifying and incredibly discouraging things there, so be careful!

God bless,

Aelwyn said...

I have seen this movie and loved it! I thought it really showed both the pros and cons of arranged marriages, but ended up showing the real love the fathers and mothers had for their daughters. It also showed daughters that were educated, intelligent, and open to friendship with each other despite religious differences. I did think the friendship was idealistic, but it was a lovely movie. I was encouraged that at least someone was able to make a film about conservative religious values with a positive tone.

Lydia said...

It showed how silly everyone outside the families acted when they found out that it was up to the parents, or when they learned it was for religious reasons that the girls dressed more modestly than other people. Also what was really amusing was to see these two girls, both American, with their families who were not long from "the old country" with their traditions of matchmaking. I especially enjoyed the Orthadox Jewish girl's mother, who kept saying her father had high blood pressure and if she didn't settle soon, he would get really sick. The Muslim girl said, "That's one they always use,and we will probably use it too, in emergencies!" Ha ha. Our parents did things like that, too.

Anonymous said...

Loved it! There was nothing I can remember that could be objctionable to anyone in this movie. However, I wanted to bop their principle on the nose.


Mrs. Anna T said...

Dear Lydia, thanks for the tip-off. I'd love to watch this sometime.

RichFam said...

I have never even heard of this movie. But I am very interested in finding it now! It seems like it would be good.

I am hoping to find that it is as good as "The Return of the Daughters". I absolutely LOVED that movie, although it is a documentary rather than fiction.

But it also talks about women of our faith who choose to stay under their parents' care while they find a suitable mate (that their parents approve of).

It is a truly wonderful film, and I am so glad there are others out there who are changing the way the world views women and marriage!

(thanks for the "shameless plug"! :o))

Deanna Rabe - Creekside Cottage Blog said...

This sounds like a movie we would like to see!

Thanks for sharing it.

The Proverbs Wife said...

I am going to watch this today.

faerieeva said...

I have not seen it, but since we also have Netflix, I am going to! Thank you for the recommendation.

Be loved and blessed!

Sharon said...

I haven't seen the movie, but I can attest personally to praying for our daughter's future husband and now that she's 22 and never dated, the young man showed up this year and they both are amazed at the unusual things they have in common. Looking forward to having this young man as a son-in-love. :)

Penelope said...

Thank you for the tip...it is now on my netflix picks.


Anonymous said...

I took a chance and looked for this in my local library. Just in case someone might want to go that route!


Anonymous said...

I watched the movie after reading your post and I enjoyed it. I also went on to watch The Ushpizin, another religious film available for online viewing through Netflix. This one is a bit different; it's about Orthodox Jews in Israel, and it has a few crude moments (meant to contrast religious and secular worlds) but overall it's a very uplifting film. I love how the wife's love for God was so intimate and *real*. I do recommend you watch it if you have the chance!

Country Victorian said...


I saw the move "Arranged" with my husband and we both really enjoyed observing the contrasting lifestyles of two religious unmarried women with those around them. I found the whole situation with the School Principle insulting their personal convictions very real.

This happens daily to many homeschooling girls desiring to live faithfully as Titus 2:5 women. Those around them (outside their home) will try to make them feel "inadaquate, inferior, mindless" for their convictions. They privately suffer and very few seem to know how to combat this or talk about it! I know you and I discuss this subject often but I am concerned for these girls and the need to encourage them.

They need to have strength of character to overcome but also understand there is world waiting to catch them off guard (including in the church) and they need to be prepared!...especially for the psycho-babylon that is going around "cloistering" girls together in one lump sum with ridiculous answers that are not found in scripture.

I do love the way the two girls in "Arranged" saw right through it. Why aren't the majority of Christian girls better equipped? We need to study this.

My husband made a comment which I agree with. The Jewish family needed to better consider what the daughter was wanting in a husband so she did not have to go through so many lemons:>) but she got a real "peach" in the end!


Lydia said...

One set of parents used a matchmaker who had a list of available men, which the daughter rejected. The matchmaker did not have a key to the girls heart and could not discern what would make her respond. The other set of parents made personal contact with the boy and his family, taking matters into their own hands. It did not take them as long to find someone,as they seemed to be more in tune to their daughter and although they had one really inappropriate one, they struck gold only on the second try. I think the first girl must have turned down 6 suitors from the matchmaker. I think families could do a lot better job helping their kids find mates if they would put their minds to it and take the time.