Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Older Women

                                                  White Roses by Igor Levashov


My husband likes to stop in at Goodwill and check out the office supplies. There are sometimes high quality binders, briefcases, and other types of holders that are brand new yet very low priced. In spite of the computer age, some men still prefer to use old fashioned files and various types of boxes for their paper work.  Yesterday he found a couple of things he really needed at Goodwill  and I browsed for teacups.  The teacups seem to be getting more scarce.  I found this lovely vase, made by a florist company in Georgia.  The only good rose that grew for me this year was a creamy off-white one, so I have cut it for this vase.

Dollar Tree sometimes has some things that look like high-end merchandise.  The lantern candle holder on the mantel looks good with a led tea light.  Pretty table runners come in green, burgundy and off-white satin-look fabric, for only a dollar.  They have tassels on the ends and look quite smart in homes where the lady does not want to be extravagant but wants to have nice things.  That candle lantern is available in other colors.

We are having a ladies lunch and a Bible lesson tomorrow and I want to share some of the things I hope to teach, which the ladies will be discussing.  The table at the church fellowship room is set with seasonal things and the buffet table is available for people to contribute to the lunch.

It is always comforting to read what the Bible teaches about the qualities older women should have. Occasionally I hear someone say that the description of women in the Bible is not for today; that it was applicable only in the past. They want to apply their lifestyles to the Bible rather than applying the Bible to their lifestyle.  

The word "sober" appears several times in Titus 2 when talking about women.  I am sure you know it refers to being serious about life and not foolish or infantile in behavior. To be sober means to become more mature and wise as you grow in age.  

The sober woman does not need to act "cute" or send flirtatious, impish smiles to people to gain attention.  She has grown up and is beyond the junior high level of silly expressions and social manipulation. 

 The sober woman has a quiet confidence because she has been carefully filling her mind with profitable thoughts (that is thoughts that benefit her mental health and build her character) and trying to live up to God's description of a worthy woman.

Sometimes our parents would say, "Act your age" to remind us not to revert back to childish antics and juvenile attitudes.  These days, do we even know how to act our age?  For so long it has been socially acceptable to act like children and one hardly knows what age they ought to emulate.  Be serious-minded and it will automatically adjust to your age.  

One reason to be sober about life is that those coming after you in age will have something to remember when they need an example. Even at my age, I often wish there were older women I could observe in how they handle things like stress, gossip,  rudeness, and pushy, domineering women.  I would have liked to observe how my ancestors handled these things with grace.  A serious older women is a great help to the other ladies that want to know how to treat the situations that ocurr in life.

Sober-minded women are the ones that people will rely on when prayer is requested or when advice is needed.  

Serious women are not morose or depressing, but appropriately happy.  Happiness is more than a smile, so you cannot determine whether or not a woman is happy based only on a smile. There are a lot of silly women who are always laughing and smiling; women whose lives are so erratic that they could never effectively guide other women, so you cannot always judge real happiness by smiles. Wise women are happy women, but it is a kind of contented confidence that they project, as opposed to constant giggling. 

The serious minded women are not sharp-tongued, meaning, not quick to spout off caustic criticism and hasty remarks designed to intimidate others.

The sober-minded older woman will be serious about her home. She cares about effective  housekeeping and is concerned about the condition of her home. She may not have it all in order at the same time, but it concerns her. She likes the smell of fresh laundry and dinner cooking. She enjoys looking out clean windows and having comfortable furniture. She is happy whe there is a brightness to her home and a calmness in the atmosphere.  She cares about every cent her husband makes and guards the income with a watchful eye concerning wastefulness.  She sees her family as spiritual beings who need their souls fed as well as their bodies.

Naturally there is a lot more to be said on this subject and I am eager to read your comments.


Tricia said...

This is EXACTLY why I am grateful to have your blog to read, Lady Lydia! I hope you know how much your writing blesses women like me that don't have a good example in their lives! Thank you for your godly example!

Debbie said...

A sober minded woman is also a credit to her husband and children. There is no shame associated with her because she is portraying herself as age appropriate. Her husband can trust in her for the sake of the family's reputation and children won't be ashamed of a mother not acting her age. As for the woman herself, there won't be regrets later on for not having a maturity and sobriety as put forth in God's word.
Lady Lydia, I thank you for the sober example you exhibit for many to follow. What you have to say is greatly appreciated!

Emmarinda said...

There has been an ongoing infantilizing of grown-ups in our culture over the last 20 years or so. For those old enough to remember, there was a time when men did not wear loud, garish colors, tee shirts with slogans, boxer shorts imprinted with cartoon characters, and the like. Nor was it a normal thing to see adult employees of businesses wearing costumes to work on Halloween Day. Even the once staid bank employees do this now. This goes hand in hand with the feminizing of men, beginning with the trend to eliminate sideburns on men, to them now waxing or shaving their chests and wearing shades of pink, peach and lavender in dress shirts and ties. Curiously, we see opposite occurring in children's clothing, with babies wearing blue jeans and Harley Davidson biker wear, not to mention the provocative clothing made for little girls. Much has been said on your worthy site about the trend toward masculine clothing and fabric for women so I won't belabor that here, but I do believe when people are encouraged to dress in a silly manner, and blurt out childish things in the name of being "honest and genuine", they do regress to a state of immaturity. Thus, we have Grandmas with tattoos, and men who become ninnies, and no good example for younger people, who actually might want one.

LadyLydia said...

Age-appropriateness in clothing is a challenge also for the older women.

LadyLydia said...

I agree about clothing reducing the dignity of older people.

Christy H said...

I agree about the difficulty of finding age correct clothes. I must confess that I still act "silly" sometimes but that is at home and our home is usually filled with laughter. Still I love this blog which so encourages and reminds to act the lady. Not growing up that way, there are no "models" to look at.

LadyLydia said...

I meant silly to mean a type of irresponsible attitude, not happy healthy laughter.

Shani said...

This is always a topic I am interested in as it has a personal connotation for me. My mother refuses to dress age-appropriate, and was always criticizing me for dressing too 'frumpy' or 'dowdy,' instead of dressing "my age." The lovely floral skirts and modest tops that I wear were the object of her criticism, not shapeless dresses paired with tennis shoes. She complained that how I dressed made her 'older,' but I always mourned the loss of a mother and grandmother for my children. Aging gracefully is such a beautiful thing, and says a lot about a person's healthy outlook on life.

Thank you once again, Lady Lydia, for such a convicting post. May God bless you this day.

LadyLydia said...

Shani, ladies can still dress very young in skirts and dresses, even pants. Florals and some primts are very youthful. The key is ladylikeness, and femininity. Feminine fabrics are soft and pretty , drapey like the scarves that are so popular.

Andrea R said...


Your post is exactly right.

No one is even expected to act as an adult, and the culture now thinks it's perfectly acceptable to be in a forever-childlike state.

Since I have many children, I am kept youthful, and my children and I will joke a lot or carry on being silly at home..yet, they understand the importance of being responsible and growing up, and I am one of the few women I notice in public both dressing and acting like a lady.

I get stopped by older gentlemen all the time, thanking me for dressing like a lady. It's a blessing to me, to know it blesses them!

living from glory to glory said...

Good Morning, I would love to comment on this topic. I want to act my age in the realm of love and grace and learning to hold my tongue. We have lost so many women who could teach us older women ourselves. I always want to be teachable. No matter our age, we are always still learning to be this kind of women. I want to grow old gracefully. And I do not want to live just for myself. We have lost so much in this new generation, But a Godly woman will not fear, for the days we are living in. I am planning to go to our thrift store and to look for a pretty old tablecloth or sham and remake some kitchen cloth napkins.
I thank God for your heart and ministry!
Blessings, Roxy

Debbie Gnagey said...

I would like to comment on what you said about the sober minded woman watching every cent her husband makes. Whenever I am tempted to spend money, I take the salary my husband brings home, not his base salary, and calculate how long he has had to work to bring in the money needed for the purchase I am considering. I always try to keep in mind how long he has spent working on an especially long and tiresome day- we all have them. I often find it holds my need to spend to a minimum and I look for more creative ways to get more with less.
I also agree that it is difficult to find age appropriate clothing. Everything seems to be geared to the stylish trendsetter instead of the practical shopper who still wants to buy well-made, attractive, affordable clothing.
I sometimes notice that when I am out and am observed as being neatly and modestly well-dressed that those I meet will tug at the hems of their too short dresses and pull up on the tops of their blouses that reveal necklines that are too low for modesty. The ladies that go out with me dress nicer than they usually do as I have observed when I run into them casually and they look uncomfortable and sometimes even apologize.

Thank you for your ongoing encouragement.

June said...

She may not have it all in order at the same time, but it concerns her.

I appreciate that line especially. With a one year old it's impossible to keep the entire house clean at one time, but I do try and it does matter to me. I've tried delegating chores to different days to tryto make sure it all gets done, but sometimes I wish it was all clean at the same time and I feel bad about myself. But I remind myself that raising my daughter is very important and keeping a clean home is part of that but not all. I love being a stay at home mom and wouldn't have it any other way! :) I hope you have a great day!

LadyLydia said...

Debbie that is so true. They wrap their jackets closer to cover themselves and pull down at the hemline.

I do not think all women know about I modesty. They are following a style and may not have any ill intent. However they need to be better informed about how they can look prettier when they have more clothing on and they need to know about immodesty and why ladies must be modest.

I recently saw pictures of Ethiopian royalty , and was so enthralled with the ladies caftans and dresses and how complimentary the clothing was to the ladies. It made them look so elegant and serene.

On the contrary a lot of western clothing is at odds with the female figure, bringing a focus on the least flattering areas. I have even heard some designers promote these immodest looks that are not suitable for homemakers, but the short skirts make them look fatter than they are. The longer skirts are more slimming.

Antheia said...

I desperately have wanted a good example of a Christian woman my whole life. There have been nuns and teachers who fit the bill, but I wanted someone in my family to teach me to be a lady. It seems the women in my family have each got it only partially. My mother is strong in her faith, and is a model of generosity, kindness and steadfastness, but she never quite got the "silly" out of herself and has been embarrassing with her silly gesturing, baby talk, facial expressions and off-the-wall conversation topics. My aunt, her sister, is dignified, well-dressed and never, ever silly, but she is prejudiced, harshly critical, and does not go to church anymore. I found a more complete model here on this blog several years ago, and I thank you so much for all the advice and demonstration. I must say, I am only thirty, and I am aghast at my peers' clothing, conversations and behavior, Christians and otherwise. God bless you; pray for my generation.

anonymous said...

Classical style clothing has never gone out of style. This type of clothing can be updated from year to year with scarves, purses, shoes, hats and jewelry. Classic pump style heals, flat shoes and boots are always in style. Again these can be updated from year to year with accessories.

I agree that clothing worn a size or two smaller then the body size makes a person appear much larger and heavier then they are. It degrades their appearance.

If they only wore the appropriate size clothing they would appear more feminine, slimmer and really attractive.

Wearing loser and longer then elbow-length sleeves are helpful in concealing heavy or sagging upper arms. Sleeveless tops and dresses look ok on tiny children or muscle toned women, but on the average older woman not so much.

Thank you for sharing about clothing and fashion Lydia. Your rose painting is beautiful.

Mrs. J.

Umm Ali said...

Lady Lydia, this topic of the older women has stayed in my thoughts for days. May I request you address older women who have spent many years as a full-time, devoted homemaker and is now wanting to do something more with the next phase of her life than staying home and waiting on her adult children, and basically doing more of the same routines in what should be a life freed from the duties of homemaking, a life that is free for developing passions that had been on the back burner for too long?

It makes me sad really as I had hopes of my children paying visits to their grandmother and watching their relationships grow. It would be also nice to have someone experienced to guide and support us as homemakers with young children. Instead she has decided to move hundreds of miles away and pursue her own interests and ambitions outside the sphere of home.

Granted one of the reason she felt that she had to leave us is due to her feeling like she has been taken granted. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all she had to take care of with barely a finger lifted by the adult children in the house. It leaves me frustrated as it appears that this is a classic case of failing to train young children of the ways of the home.

I am intensely grateful for your blog. Your writings give me a vision of what a beautiful, godly woman looks like.


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