March Winds

Three Pink Roses by Paul Michael (Allposters)

March seems to bring fierce winds in every section of the earth, and similar temperatures in the northern and southern hemispheres.

When dark, stormy weather weather comes around, the grayness makes some people feel isolated and sorrowful, so it is essential to create an atmosphere at home that will provide emotional stability and feelings of hope and ambition. 

The outside climate cannot be controlled, but a homemaker does have control of the inside climate. She can provide the mood that she desires by placing some or all of the following things into her home:

Orderliness - Outer, surface neatness goes a long way to creating a settled mind. If the dwelling place looks orderly, it seems to contribute to clear thinking, which is essential during dark days.

Orderliness gives a sense of well-being.

Light - One reason we like the stores and malls and restaurants so much is that they are cheerful, with appropriate lighting. Lamps in dark corners, or ropes of clear Christmas lights can make a brighter day inside.

Small led lights, which sometimes are sold in packages of 3 or 4 for a dollar, can be put in clear or colored glass jars for indoor brightness.

The Aroma of Food and Drink.  Smelling cinnamon, coffee, chocolate, hot bread, a roast in the oven, hot cider, and other foods helps to lift the mood and give a feeling of reassurance and well-being. I know someone who does not drink coffee, but makes it every day just for the aroma.

Creativeness. Some people find great solace in painting, writing, sewing, crafting, cooking, building, or whatever suits them. Individuals have different interests and the process of working with ones hands can alleviate pressure on the mind. Depressing days are lifted by creativeness, and besides all that, you'll have something to show for your time. 

Tour Your Home.  It is refreshing to tour your own home as though you were a stranger, because you notice things that maybe you pass by previously.  You can put a vacation atmosphere in whatever small dwelling you have when it is orderly and arranged in a way that makes your heart sing. Just having the entry clean, favorite books and magazines at your fingertips, hot tea and scones, a well-made bed with flannel sheets, or a table set with your favorite dishes can make a dark, cold winter day or night seem less oppressive. Use your creative instincts to change things here and there by adding a comforting lap quilt or blanket to a couch, or warming your bath towels on the oil heater,  and a bowl of apples in the kitchen. Look around and see places where the senses can be awakened.

Lay your socks and a towel for a few minutes on an electric oil heater for quick warmth and comfort.

When Possible, Go Out. Some of the homemakers I am acquainted with prefer to stay home. These days they have every convenience, from their personal libraries, beautiful kitchens and large cookbook collections, perhaps a personal sauna in the bathroom or a hot tub in another room, a piano where they can play whenever they feel moved to do so, a sewing room or a portable sewing machine, a garden and everything they need to provide comfort and creativity at home. 

 Sometimes, however, a short outing can be very refreshing, and some people really need to go out every day.   Seeing life  go on elsewhere can provide stimulation and interest again for the home. Commerce can be interesting, as you shop for bargains or just see new products, all to enhance life at home and make it luxurious and comfortable.

One of the perks of being a homemaker is the freedom to choose the time to go shopping or run errands, without the pressure of time limits, crowds or traffic jams. I personally think it is more courteous to shop or visit places of interest when other people are in school or at work, so that you don't end up competing with them in long lines, for time. The mornings are quieter and the stores are emptier, and the homemaker will be out of the way, giving the place to others, if she shops during non-rush hours.

Have Company. Even of you do not want to venture outside of your home, or if you have so many responsibilities and piled-up work you'd like to finish, there might possibly be one person or couple that does feel like getting out and would welcome an invitation to a cup of tea.  On dark winter days and evenings, preparing for company is a wonderful distraction from the weather and can help you create good conditions inside the home.  There is nothing like getting ready for a visitor to inspire you to beautify your home. 

The Writing Desk by John O'Brien

Write to Someone. The mind can often be put at ease once pen is put to paper and thoughts are written down. Writing a short note to a friend has a twofold purpose: to make you feel better on a dark day and to give the recipient a letter in the mail. In spite of instant communication available today, people are just as, if not more, delighted to get a letter in the mail as ever.

Cotton Dress from The Scarlett Thread

Wash Up and Dress Up as though you were expecting company, even if you are not.  Grooming and dressing and preparing your appearance as though you were going to address the most important people in the world, goes a long way to improving your mood. After all, your family members are the most important people in the world, and even if you have no one at home, every time you open the door for a postal delivery or anything else, you brighten someone's day by your appearance. I was just running out to get the mail the other day, and the person who was delivering it said, "I enjoy seeing the different aprons you wear. Do you sew?"  You never know the influence you can have with your appearance. You can either make someone's day or break their spirit by the way you present yourself, in the home or out.

An older woman I knew had worked hard all of her life taking care of her home and family. In her later years, she began to dress up every day, even though she lived alone. She said, "Life is too short to wait for some special occasion, so I am going to dress up every day. It helps me face the day and feel dignified."

Our Lord told his disciples not to wear a sad countenance or bring attention to themselves when they fasted (Matthew 6:15-17), but to fast in secret and wash their faces so that it would not be apparent to anyone observing them. By the same principle, I think it is important to act as cheerful as possible when it is more tempting to be melancholy.

Boxes and decor from Michaels arts and crafts.

Try Something Different. Read about a subject you have not previously known, try a new pattern, a new recipe, a new interest.  Approach someone at the checkout or the bank or anywhere you have to go while on your errands and find out if they live in the vicinity and would like to come to tea sometime. Most of the time you might get turned down, but you definitely won't get anything at all if you do not ever ask.

Begin a day with prayer, and pray often throughout the day when the darker days come. We discussed this in a recent ladies Bible class, and one of the ladies remarked, "You wouldn't have to see a therapist if you did that every day!"  The Great Physician is our wonderful comfort in times of uncertainty, grief, depression or despair.  Once a preacher wrote the word "depression" on the chalkboard, dividing it into the words "de-press- i- on" pointing out the words:  "press I on," or "I press on."

Assign Yourself Some Tasks making a list the night before or early the next day, and discipline yourself to do them. One way to overcome mood swings or overcome the way the weather can effect you, is to develop self control and determination.   It means forcing yourself to do a task, whether you feel like it or whether you are in the mood or not. Life is like having a new baby: that baby will have to be looked after whether you are in the mood or not. Mothers get up in the middle of the night, knowing the needs of the baby are only met by her. When you know how much depends upon you, your duty will become desire.

Morning in the Studio, by Patrick Adams

Rest.  Howling winds and shattering rain seem more ominous towards evening time, and especially so at night.  After a good night's sleep, stormy weather and dark skies do not seem as threatening. Things are always darkest before the dawn.  One might feel depressed and burdened with care  as the day wears on, but the morning brings a feeling of lightheartedness and ease, if it is preceded by proper rest.

Rose Patterned Tea Things photo by Michael Paul from Allposters

Display Flowers in your home. Grocery stores have single stems which are not a great expense, and can last quite awhile. Placed in a slender bottle, such a blossom can be beneficial to everyone who views it.  Primroses growing outside can be re-planted in a small container and brought indoors for a centerpiece.

Whether you are able to do anything to change your indoor atmosphere or not, inclement weather never lasts forever.  A brighter day will come.

In keeping with this thought, the song "There's a Better Day A-Comin" an old spiritual that many people sang in school back in the old days,   can be viewed on my playlist, or here.

  When it is cloudy outside, why not click on my playlist and just let it play for an hour. There are long pauses between pieces, so do not think it is stuck. Also, there are now so many pieces on it, that none will be repeated. I find I can get loads and loads of dishes washed and the entire kitchen cleaned during this playlist.

You can also listen to the hymn "Til The Storm Passes By," here.

To print this for your home living notebook, press here..

The Lady Who Visited

Miss Gladis M. Holman Hunt

by William Holman Hunt

1827-1910

My friend from England told me of the time she got married and moved away from her mother. For a long time, she suffered from  homesickness and loneliness. Fearing she might fall into deep grief and lose her health and strength, she decided to list everyone she had met or knew in that vicinity and call them up to see if they would receive her as a visitor, at their convenience. When she had some free time, she went to see someone on her list.

She made a regular habit of visiting, and found the pain of loneliness subsided enough that she could function throughout a day without the aching feeling of sadness.

Proverbs 18:24

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Worship Hymn

I was looking for "Saviour Grant Me Rest and Peace" and found this song, which has  similar sentiments.

Today's Homemaking Class

An English Poppy Field

by Bernard Willington

Notes for the Homemaking Class 

Today in Lisa's class, which I will be attending via Skype, (free video calls)  I am to speak briefly about her theme of "Each one teach one."  I first heard this phrase in a history lesson, where the country of Mexico was examined for its literacy program. In the 1950's, their president apparently launched a program called "Each one teach one." Anyone that knew how to read and write was encouraged to teach at least one other person how to read and write, and within a very short time, and without a government program involving huge amounts of money or government agents,  the literacy in the country was increased.

Tutoring is always more effective than the classroom, in my opinion. Home schoolers have experienced this. Sometimes a child who has trouble learning in a classroom situation with all its distractions can be brought up to a higher level of learning within a very short time when taught at home by his mother and others who love him.

Homemaking classes are wonderful, and the wives and daughters who attend them always glean a lot, but that is just the tip of the iceberg, the hem of the garment and the icing on the cake.  Personal tutoring that takes place when a daughter learns at the elbow of her mother is more foundational and lasting.  Homemaking becomes so automatic to girls who follow their mothers around, that they hardly know they are doing it. 

There are a few Biblical examples of this private tutoring. Samuel was sent to Eli, the priest to become a priest. Ruth put herself under the authority and care of her mother-in-law when her husband died, and was gently guided to become the wife of Boaz.  In the New Testament, the apostle Paul stated that he had been taught the Jewish faith by a teacher named Gamaliel.   Most importantly, Titus 2 teaches the older women to teach the younger women the things they know that will help them as wives, mothers and homemakers.  

To the ones that claim to be disciples of Christ, the Titus 2 instructions are not just a preference or, to use a popular word "optional."  Instead, they are essential.  God loves women and knows what is best for their care and protection. Jesus valued women and taught them one-on-one, as indicated in several places in the scriptures.  He has given them an important place in life. Guarding, guiding and keeping the home are enormous responsibilities. I always look at it as not only a choice, but a duty.  To the woman who wants to do what is right, there is no choice but to follow the Word of God, and that makes life's choices a lot easier. We hope Christian women will choose to do what is right and good; choose to do their duty.  Of course we realize that each person must be personally persuaded by the scriptures and come to the decision to be a good homemaker. Christ does not force anyone to obey him, because he wants them to come to Him willingly, with loving hearts. 

We live in a time where many of the things women used to do at home are accomplished by mechanical things or by the convenience of grocery stores, but still it is possible to be home-centered. Yes, we must go out and get groceries, but is not it wonderful that we can choose fine food "from afar"  and stock our pantries with supplies!  We may have machines to wash clothes, wash dishes, sweep the floor, and slow-cook our food, but we still have to know how to operate those machines and keep them in good repair so they will serve us well. A home keeper still has to understand how to load up the slow-cooker and season the food so that it is nutritional and tastes good.  In spite of all the conveniences of machinery and grocery stores, there is a lot of work to be done in the home.  

Each one teaching one can guide the next generation of young women into caring for the home. It is great to use conveniences but young women should be taught how to do without those conveniences if they find themselves without out them. Knowing how to make things from basic ingredients, or what kitchen products you can use for cleaning supplies in a pinch.  Older women need to also teach younger women about family matters: what to do when a husband is discouraged or when there is no money, how to teach children to behave themselves, natural health habits, and what to do when there is a family crisis. This is the value of the older women, because they have been through all these stages of life, from placid times, to joyous time, in prosperity, and in grief.

As to waiting til you find a "mentor" to coach you in home living, that is not necessary. Everyone is older than someone, and can teach someone, and if you find there are no older women qualified to teach you, you will just have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps (an old expression meaning get some courage) and become that older woman by teaching yourself. These days, information is attainable all over the place, and even if all you have to read is a few ancient stories, you can learn a lot about human nature from them. The pioneers in places like Canada, Australia, America, South Africa and others, came across the plains with not much more than the Bible and Pilgrim's Progress, and were able to establish themselves and teach the next generation. Many brave women learned to cook and sew out of necessity, and today some of their primitive quilts and clothing are treasured and displayed in historic homes today.   The women of the past, at least that I knew in my own life, did not seem too worried about finding mentors. They seemed to learn and catch on to the things necessary to keep their homes and take care of their families. Just like today, there were some who did not do it very well, and there were some who did it more excellently.  

To teach one, all you need to do is prepare one thing that you already know how to do, and show it to someone else. It will be less awkward if you'll get out tea cups and serve tea and sandwiches and then start your show-and-tell.

I once had a gathering which I called my Annual Homemaking Tea, where each lady who came had a show-and-tell, which would be helpful in the realm of the home.  Some showed how to make quick snacks (which we ate afterwards) and others showed how to teach Bible lessons to children. Each show-and-tell was short and simple, from how to take care of indoor kitchen trash (some things we did not all know) to safety in the home.  All a homemaking class amounts to is a show-and-tell situation.

Even if you are just a quiet person that does not need too much socializing, you can do something just by your example. Being clean and organized at home, and having a good appearance when out of the home, teaches and influences more than you know.

While speaking of the each-one-teach-one idea, I'd love to speak personally to any lady who would like to have a Skype talk with me on a subject her choice, at a convenient time. Remember, Skype video calls has a free version.  Just email me ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net and I'll give you my skype address and we can connect in any country.

Favorite Magazine Links

Remembering by John O'Brien, Irish (American immigrant b.1951, d.2004)

These are magazines in print, which usually are usually for sale every other month, but you can also get them online. The online versions are not  the same as the hard copies, so it is an advantage to have both. I usually go through the pages of a publication before buying it just to see at a glance if it is anything I would like to keep. 

Tea Time is one that shows all the aspects of tea imaginable, and often goes somewhere in the world where tea comes from, and presents recipes for foods that go best with various types of tea. You can download it on various electronic equipment to read.

Victoria is another one you can enjoy online, but once again, the online version is different than the printed copy, although it follows the same themes and subjects. They put extra things online not included in the magazine.

Southern Lady is also online, and has extra features not in the printed version. It is nice to go online and look at these copies to decide whether or not you might want to get the paper edition. I have my favorite months and my no-so-favorite months and so I usually get the ones that have the most value to me.

If you are concerned about the cost of books and magazines, it is great to be able to read it online. The publishers also have printable features, but I find it cheaper to buy the printed copy than to print things and have to replace my ink.

Victoria, Tea Time and Southern Lady, along with other publications, are from the same company: Hoffman Media. They also sell various seasonal publications such as Cottage and books about tea.

The English Home

This publication is available in a U.K. version and an American version, which you can see on the link provided.   I buy one of these on rare occasions when it has a historical house that interests me. 

Romantic Homes has an online version, but of course the magazine has so much more. I enjoy the summer issues of this magazine.

Victorian Homes and Romantic Homes 

are published by the same company.

Sample of Homemaking Class Program

Mrs. Hollinger's recent invitation to a homemaking class is an example of a way to  draw more interest in the gentle art of homemaking, by hosting a homemaking class in her home.  Here is her announcement.  I attend as a guest speaker through the Skype program, where they can see me on screen.

Ladies,

We have a very exciting class in store for you with our "Irish Spring Tea!" 

We sent out reminders via facebook.  In case you missed it, we are having our a "Green Healthy" theme in honor of St. Patricks Day.  The Titus Two Wives are excited to share their "green" knowledge with you.  We want to thank the Ladies who have been following our class, especially from out of state~ for all your prayers.  We sincerely appreciate you praying as the Titus Two Teachers prepare to share this Friday.  May we be encouraged in our calling to glorify God!

• Mrs. Sherman will be opening our class with a biblical message in line our Titus Two Mandate "Each One Teach One".

• We will continue Mrs. Derbers series "The Art of Homemaking"  with specifics on organizing "Schedules", "Time Management" and "Planning Meals".
• Mrs. Roberts will be teaching you a wonderful recipe for a homemade "Spa" product you will love!!  We will be giving you lots of homemade "Spa" recipes you can make at home for yourself and or as gifts for others. 
• Mrs. Spencer will be teaching an immune building, cancer fighting, digestive aid and flu fighting healthy food you can make at home!
• We have a fun "homemaking" activity that will challenge and make you laugh!

You will enjoy wonderful fellowship and a lovely afternoon "Irish Spring Tea!"

**Wives please bring your planners, organizers or whatever you use to help you keep yourself organized or on schedule.  We would like you to share during our Titus Two Tips what you use!  It will be lots of fun to see even if its just a piece of notebook paper!

Those who signed up to bring a healthy snack or dessert are:  Mrs. Glines, Mrs. Hoerth, Mrs. Spencer and Mrs. Sodeberg & Miss Melissa Cherry.

*Daughters~do your best to create a crock pot meal for your mothers.  You will be glad you did!

We will see this Friday!

Your friends,

The Titus Two Wives & Daughters Class

Note:  Crock pots are the same as slow-cookers, and these days a slow cooker provides quite a high quality meal. Having a meal in your crock pot makes the house smell wonderful, and the food is usually quite good. On the inside cover of the new Tea Time magazine is an ad for a book called "Creative Slow-Cooker Meals" and suggests using two slow cookers for tasty and easy meals. I do not own this cookbook but it has a good idea on the cover: get a smaller slow cooker and a larger one, and use them both for meals. One can have the main dish in it, and the other, a side dish.

A slow cooker is great for making your own refried beans. Put the dried beans in the pot with plenty of water, adding more when needed, and cook them overnight, including the spices and other ingredients. There are recipes available on the web and in slow cooker recipe books. One that is out now is by Taste of Home and features tear out cards that you can keep in a box. The booklet is small, and usually displayed in grocery stores.

Some of the lessons she listed are on the Art Linkletter record that was produced back in the 60's and are read by a lady with excellent elocution, which makes very pleasant listening.

March/April Tea Time Magazine

Two Women Taking Tea, from Allposters

This month's Tea Time magazine has an interesting article about the Taylors of Harrogate tea company.

The man who tastes the tea wrote that Yorkshire Gold is his favorite. He is such a good tea taster that he can tell where the tea is from, just by sampling it. We supply Yorkshire Gold locally (we do not mail it except to good friends), and it is always in demand.

Such pretty pages inside the magazine, all focusing on pink roses, make it appealing. If you cannot get the magazine, you can still enjoy a lot of it online here.

Where I live, there is very little difference this time of year between the dark, foggy, windy, stormy, rain or snow-filled days, and the dark nights, so the pretty pages in this publication were a welcome sight in the mail. I subscribe to this magazine because it gives me such a lift when I go to the mail box. It is enjoyable to get it in a store, but there is something special about having it come to your door!

Free Tea Cup Graphic

Someone recently told me that she had no qualms about buying Tea Time or Victoria magazines, because she considered them part of the curriculum for her home living learning and enjoyment! These publications are available at Walmart in the book and magazine section. It is an expense, I agree, but as one woman told me, it is part of the payment, or a perk for the loving labor she gives to her family and her home. We don't have vices, and do not care to participate in the prevailing culture, so we might as well have a nice book or magazine.

Sunday Singing

Although I am not familiar with this hymn, I found the harmonious blend of voices most pleasing, and I like the fact that this station puts the words on the screen so you can follow along.

Easy Invitations and Notebooks from Inexpensive Materials

To print this, click on for a larger view and then right click and press "print."  You can use this inside the invitation booklet if you like, or just write your own.

Simple books or invitations can be made quickly, using children's construction paper for the covers, printer paper for the pages, clippings from catalogs and old cards, and wired ribbon for the ties.  This can all be obtained at dollar stores or discount stores.  If you have children that need something quiet to do, this is an easy project for them, and they can use the bolder colors like red and blue, which are in the construction paper packet. 

Fold a piece of construction paper in half, and half again and cut into four parts.

Also fold and cut two pieces of printer paper for the pages of the book.  (You will only need one or two squares of blank paper for the invitation booklet.)

Fold one piece in half but do not crease, and punch a hole for your guide.

Open it up and place it over the cut pieces of white paper and punch more holes. Include a construction paper backing. Then twist your wired ribbon, string, yarn, or whatever you choose, and put it through the holes, bringing it back up to the front to tie. 

I have used about 10 inches or more of wired ribbon to tie it into a bow. 

Roll the tail ends of the bow under about twice in order to hide the wires of the wired ribbon.

Here it is used for an invitation, with only one page and a back and front cover.

Remember that the words "You Are," should be contracted into "You're" which is the correct spelling. It is not written 'Your Invited', but rather, "You're Invited."   "You're" is two words put together: you and are.  The other spelling, your means "belonging to you," such as "Where are your gloves?" or "I found your keys," so the words on the invitation should be "You're Invited"  or just use write "You Are Invited," which removes all confusion!

Here is one  made a few weeks ago from thin glitter paper which I got in a pack. It was not as thick as cardstock and was a little easier to work with and it was not expensive at all.

I'm linking to Beverly's Pink Saturday, 

and  would like you to see this blog called "Little Birdie Blessings" because she has such a nice graphic that she is giving away today that you could print out and use for booklets like these. 

Butterfly Lovers Concerto

Rhododendrons and Butterflies in a Field

by Marion Ellis Rowan

I was listening to classical radio while on a car trip and heard a long, long piece, lasting what seemed an hour, and I found part of it to post here. I've added to my playlist also.




Listen to  a short piece  of this music here.

Listen to another part of this beautiful, Oriental melody 


Part 1 of a longer version




Part 2





 There are many parts to this music, and you might be able to find several of them online to listen to, including quite a lively clip here,  so be sure to check it out after you hear  the following, which is easy listening.

This is a most famous Chinese concerto.

Table Settings

Tablesettings from HGTV, found on Pinterest

In keeping with previous posts about hospitality, today I'd like to share some table setting ideas. The one in the photograph above shows a  square printed table cloth with a border, placed over a lace one. You can do this sort of thing with fabrics, too, and also, you can use some really nice clear plastic over them so that you can preserve your antique cloths or fabrics.  Do  not get the foggy looking plastic if you want your cloths to look really bright. Look instead for the clear type that you get by the yard at WalMart or fabric stores, that has a paper backing. The plastic covers are ideal when serving tea. and can be washed in a pan of hot soapy water and wiped dry with a towel while they are warm.

There are supposedly rules about table settings and table linens, but these days, the hostess can decide whatever suits her best, and besides, it can also be a matter of creative ideas, using what you have. Using plastic is not supposed to be proper, but if you are a busy homemaker and do not want to be constantly washing your linens, the clear plastic makes more sense.

The large basket of flowers, a pretty centerpiece, is kept at the end of the table, so that guests can converse easily without dodging huge obstacles in the middle of the table. I recently went to a commercial tea at a tea room in town, where the center of the table was piled so high with impressive centerpieces, that friends could not even see each other across the table, and children's views were totally blocked.  This is one mistake people are making with centerpieces, so I experimented a little here at home and came up with just a couple of things you could do. 

When preparing a table for Tea, I often use the tea pot and the food as the center pieces, and they are low enough that they do not block the view of people across the table.  You might consider using food on a pretty platter as your centerpiece.

A wired garland of fake flowers makes a nice centerpiece that can go all around the table, without interfering with the service of the afternoon tea. Use fresh greenery such as cedar branches, holly or laurel if you have them.

It does not matter if your table cloth is wrinkled, as it gives it an artsy look. The one I'm using here was not easy to press, so I used it wrinkled and it looked fine.

While proper placement of utinsels and dishes has its merits, the hostess is free to develop her own customs and styles. If it is to be an afternoon tea, I usually put the cup and saucer on top of the lunch plate, because guests always want to begin with a cup of tea. Later they put the cup aside and load their plates with sandwiches and other foods. It is ultimately up to the hostess, but if you have a very small table, this is a good way to do it. 

 You can go here to find table setting guides here and other places on the web. Though they always  show the knife edges turned toward the plate, I do not always do that, because some of my knives (yes, they are cheap) have engravings of the type of steel and the company that makes them, right on the blade on the other side. So, for this setting, I've turned the knife blade the other way.  I made this simple so that a new hostess would not find it too daunting. A white table cloth can be put in the dryer to remove wrinkles, as tablecloths are difficult to iron due to their size.

  It is perfectly alright to use paper napkins,  (which officially are not proper) since it is easier to find the colors you need, and they are not expensive if you get them at the dollar stores.  Plastic or wood chargers can be used for color contrast in a table setting, but they are not necessary. I used it here because the white plate looked better on it than on the white cloth.  Play around with your settings and rearrange til you get what makes you happy.

These little vases are squat enough to hold a fresh or fake flower and greenery and still see across the top to other people seated at the table, so that conversation is easier.

 If you need a placemat for color contrast in your table setting, you can trace around a very large dinner plate on to a piece of large square scrapping paper, and then make a napkin ring from a strip of the same paper.

Placemats and table cloths make things a little softer and quieter at the table. It puts some padding between your dishes and the table.

Whatever you do, being a hostess should be enjoyable, and these ideas should make you feel it is more than just hard labor, but a chance to create and to brighten someone's day.

Hospitality for the Timid

Afternoon Tea 1914

by Paul Fischer, Denmark 1860-1934

     A conscientious homemaker has a heart for hospitality, but it can seem daunting if it is not a familiar activity. We read in the Bible that the elders of the church must be "given to hospitality." (1st Timothy 3:2) That can occur most easily if it is practiced. Very few women are instantly at ease or are expert in hospitality at first. The knowledge of it must be gained little by little, and so today I would like to offer a few ideas that other people have lent me, to enable hospitality.

     Start small.  Try one or two guests at a time, instead of a big crowd. The easiest thing to plan is a pot of hot tea with sandwiches. You do not even have to make the sandwiches. Arrange the sandwich supplies in an attractive way on a platter and allow your guest to help herself. Hot tea is the best cover for everything, I always say. If all you have is crackers and cheese, hot herbal, green or a high quality black tea (like Yorkshire Gold) makes it all taste wonderful. People pay a lot of money to go to tea rooms that serve such simple food. Your hospitality in this simple way will be greatly appreciated, and I suspect you'll receive a phone call or card  telling you in enthusiastic terms just how much.

     Make a list divided into several possible sections: food to buy, food to prepare, plates and table settings to get out, housework to be done, people to call, clothes to wear, invitations to send (or phone calls), favors to make (or gifts) and anything you can think of that will make preparations easier. Then check off your list as you fulfill each item. You can give some of these tasks to helpers if you like.

     Use the grocery store. The bakery and deli are good resources for foods you do not have to prepare yourself , and this convenience is tantamount to having good help, which is hard to find sometimes.  The frozen food supply at your local grocery store has tea foods in the form of individual serving sizes of savory foods. The produce department may have fresh fruits and vegetables already cut and arranged in a covered dish, but check the dates and be discerning about freshness.  Using your grocery store as your cook is a good idea if you are uncertain about showing hospitality. The point is not where the food came from, but that you are inviting someone into the warmth and cheerfulness of your own home and sharing your table with them.

If you want to do it yourself, this new special tea-time issue, which covers spring, summer, fall and winter,

has some ideas you could follow, and is available postage free from www.victoriamag.com  and at Walmart magazine section for the same price. I've got a copy of it and decided it really is a classic like it says, and is worth keeping. The photos are from older editions of the original  Victoria issues and of course are lovely and will spark your interest in having tea. I have made the turkey-avocado tea sandwiches on page 54 and they were not difficult and tasted great.

If you are only inviting one or two people, the cost of two things at the bakery or small items at the deli, will not be so enormous. Getting things pre-made from the grocery store shows you for sure how things will "turn out."

Several shades of pink are available at dollar stores nationwide.

     Dollar stores are now selling the square paper plates in large and small, and silver looking forks, knives and spoons. So, you do not even have to worry about dishes if that is what is making you hesitate about entertaining. 

     Get everything ready the day before the event. Find a place to stack the dishes and cutlery you intend to use and get out the teapots, cups and the tea bags, tablecloth, napkins and serving dishes. Put the prepared food on plates in the refrigerator, covered. Find other things you'll need and assemble them, so that you do not have the awkwardness of digging for them when company arrives.

     Go to bed early and get enough sleep so that you'll wake up early and feel less stress the next day. Lay your clothes out so that you don't have to rifle through the closet and drawers looking for just the right outfit. Find a special apron just for that day.

     If you are just getting used to extending hospitality, start with one or two guests, and do not feel you have to serve them in the dining room. A table pulled up near a window in the living room might be just right and will not feel too formal.

     Create some kind of centerpiece that goes with the occasion. The simplest, which can also be bought at your dollar store or grocery store is a candle or fresh flowers, but for a simple tea, a special tea cup filled with flowers or some other creative thing will do. Centerpieces make the table setting seem more organized and orderly and give a pleasing spot where the eyes may rest.

     Get a co-hostess in your family to help you.  If you feel stressed about having someone over to share a tea or a meal, engage someone to help you. A sister or daughter can be a great help.  Children love to be chosen as door-men or coat-ladies to greet guests, and they can be a great asset when preparing a room in which to entertain.

     Do not be rushed  time-wise. Give a head start on the event so that you won't feel pressured and lose the enjoyment of it.

     Establish a time limit for guests by indicating on the invitation, or verbally, that you are hoping to have them take tea with you beginning at 1pm and possibly going until 3pm or whatever you are comfortable with. Keep in mind the needs of your family, what time dinner has to be prepared, and the schedules of your family members, but it is wise to give  yourself a limit, so that you do not wear them out or run out of things to talk about.

     Make at least one room presentable, whether it be the dining room or the living room. Guests need not tour the home or make themselves at home in every single area of your house. Sometimes hospitality gets put off because the homemaker is trying to get the entire house presentable, which could in some cases take years. I probably need to paint the walls and get the carpet replaced, and buy some new furniture, but if I wait for that to happen, I will be years before I can show hospitality to anyone.

     Make the front door area, both outside and inside as presentable as possible by sweeping the porch and getting rid trash or clutter that is not part of the decor. Hang a wreath on the door or put a pot of flowers on the porch, just to make it seem like you are expecting company.  You can even make a hand-written welcome sign or get someone in the family to do it.

     Remind your guests that you are expecting them and ask them if everything is working out for them to come. Guests these days are good at forgetting and not showing up at all. They do not realize that the hostess has prepared something for them and is waiting for them.  

     Make the best of things if no one comes, and use it as an opportunity to record your efforts. Take pictures and make notes in your homemaking journal.  In some old journals of relatives that I have read, the homemaker kept a record of everything she served to guests, every single time, so that she would not repeat the menu if she invited the same people. Sometimes they wrote about what they wore and what the guests shared in their conversation.  If no one shows up, you can go to your neighbor and ask her to come and have tea with you, or you can share it with your family, whom I know will love it best. 

The Hatch Family

by Eastman Johnson, American 1824-1906

Practice on your family or a few family members if you are still uncertain. That way, you'll be able to see problems that might come up or ways to better serve your guests.

     Practice makes perfect, and hospitality will not always make your nervous.  Those who do it with ease are those who are used to the routine and know what to expect. If you want to become good at it, you have to practice, and the best thing is to practice on family and close friends.

Other verses on hospitality:

Romans 12:13

Titus 1:8

1st Peter 4:9

Go here to print this lecture for your homemaking notebook.