Happy at Home

There are several articles on this blog about the Victorian houses and architecture. Now I would like to talk about the cottage structure, which existed long before the Victorian houses were popular in the 1800's.

According to some accounts, these homes were built quickly for less money but were cozy and warm and offerred a family safety and shelter. Some stories suggest that they actually had to be built in a day. They may have been intended for temporary housing in the 18th and 19th centuries but their form and beauty still inspire artists.

Cottages were owned by the common man. They blended in and complimented the country side in a beautiful way. Many of the homemakers who blog, have transformed their simple tract homes into types of cottages by adding cottage style gardens and gates to them.

A real home is where the family dwells. It matters not so much that it is the perfect style, but what that family is able to do creatively, with little money, to make that house a place where they can say they have been happy.

Happiness comes from doing our duty. Happiness comes from fulfillng our roles and using our creative instincts. Happiness comes from honoring our parents, and treating others with respect. Happiness comes from being content.

Having within our houses things like beautiful art work, even if it is your own creation, or the creation of your children, brings that special feeling of home to a house. Surrounding ourselves with lovely books full of good thoughts also brings this feeling of being happy at home. A person does not have to be formally educated or have a lot of money or achievement in life in order to be happy at home.

Over the years I knew other women who were not happy at home. Thinking that I could be of some help, I tried to inspire these women and do things for them, only to realize that they were not ever going to be happy. Some people are just weaned on sour pickles and they will never be happy. I observed that a lot of their unhappiness was feedback from their own critical spirit.

They were contradictory, objectionable, and critical most of the time. It hurt their marriages and their relationships at church. They woke up in the morning complaining and went to bed feeling worse because of it. These women never learned to adjust to life, with its ups and downs.

It is disappointing to see so many young women, out of school for the summer, whining and complaining about life. They are in the springtime of their years, and they should be happy just to be alive. Many of them are so absorbed in all the little hurts and wounds in their lives that they dwell on them to their own destruction. They never learned about self control and determination. They cannot rise above the winds of life.

I read a story about eagles that told how adversity actually lifts the eagle above the winds so he can fly smoother and higher. That is the lesson that young people should learn. I find they are a pessimistic bunch, always ready to criticize. They lack confidence to really love life and embrace and enjoy it. They are so beset with problems that their entire youth passes them by and they do not even enjoy it. I am not saying ALL young women are like this, because there are many nice girls who are happy and who aren't wasting their time dwelling on all the little private hurts and wounds. They are doing something worthwhile with their time. I've heard from many of these girls and they all have some thing in common: their faith and their perseverance in life. If they aren't learning some new skill, they are serving someone in some way.

When I was a teenager, my mother and I were sitting in the living room, talking while she was knitting. She taught me to knit, and I can still hear her saying, "In, under, over, off" to instruct me how to knit. An acquaintance that was of the critical sort dropped by and eventually she began to criticise and try to make us feel that we weren't very smart or educated. Everyone seems to have at least one acquaintance like that.

My mother let her talk for awhile and then she said, "Now that you've said your peace, I want to tell you something. You may not think we are doing anything important, but can you knit something for someone to wear? Can you bake bread for someone to eat?" Her visitor admitted she didn't know much about either, but insisted that she was very intelligent and smart. Some people are just bent on being unhappy and critical. Criticism seems to make them unhappy, and unhappiness makes them critical. It is not very intelligent to criticise. It is smart to do something useful and create beauty and love around you.

Homes where these kinds of activities take place, no matter how humble they are, will always be home to children because it brings them happiness. There was an old ramshackle house that some people lived in and their friends always wondered how the family could be so happy there. They paid no attention to the fact that it had no real estate value or that they had no posessions of any worth. The family was happy there because they belonged to each other and because they loved each other. They had a culture all their own there.

I love to look at paintings of cottages and imagine what kind of things might have been going on inside of them. The painter of this one, "Stillwater Cottage," Thomas Kinkade, said in one of his books that the yellow light came from houses where candles were lit or where there was a fireplace.

I loved Jennie Chancey's article that talked about having a media rest. http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/LAF_Theme_Articles_13/Back_online_and_updating_again1002818.shtmlThe television and all the screens people use, create a cold, blue light. Having a media fast makes home "real" again and people find happiness doing real things; things that bring continuing results. What is done for others out of our own creativity seems to come back tenfold. Those who practice this kind of happy activity are usually content at home, and most of all, they are available to offer an encouraging word to others. Those who use the internet should reflect the love of their parents and their contentment at home in a way that catches on.