Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Just Do It

Due to the recent embroilio on the Victorian article regarding the family habits, I am cutting off comments. Emails are welcome if there is something of importance that I should look at.

Homemakers I'm sure get similar problems in their lives. Women often have problems with people who constantly attack their way of life. There are friends and relatives and even strangers who question their right, their ability or their sanity. I would guess that homemakers are so swamped with work to do that they barely have time to get involved in a debate about whether to stay home and concentrate on managing the home and getting it in ship-shape.
It is easy to get caught up in such debates but it can leave you feeling rather sick and then it debiliates you to the point that you cannot put the joy and the beauty and love and order into the home and the family life that you really want. These naysayers, these negative thinkers, these bitter, jealous people, can really give you a go. Their comments can distract you from doing what needs to be done.
The best argument in favor of what you are doing at home is to do it. My mother had 7 children and it was not until the early 70's that feminists began to attack her. She looked at them like they were very daft, when they said, "What do you do all day?," "Why don't you work," "Why did you have those kids?" and other more insulting comments. She said to one person who was trying to get in an argument, "You know what my advice to you is: just don't worry so much about me. I'll be alright. You just mind your own business."
That is what we can do and that is what they can do. The best way to prove a belief is to live it, and to our comfort, generations of women before us have done it and they did not end up living under a bridge. As one statesman in the early 20th century said,"Being a homemaker is better than a high college degree. You can't do better than working at home and making it a haven of rest for the family, raising upright children and having a long-lasting marriage. There is nothing better."
I went to the public schools in my youth and I recall the subtle and not so subtle attitudes that were taught about the home. We were told that if we wanted to do better than our mothers, who were "just homemakers" we would have to get an education. Education was power, they said (instead of the former saying "Knowledge is power") and so if we followed their system, we wouldn't "have to be homemakers." Instead, we could be "liberated" from that life and be "allowed" to work 8 hours a day at another career. They never told us how we would squeeze in housework, marriage, children, etc. or how in the world we would stand up to the stress, physically. They never told us the statistics that existed even at that time, about the many children who were neglected by this system.
Now we find there is a quiet revolution of sorts, with women saying, "If you say I have a choice, then let me have my choice to be home and take care of the children, my husband, the laundry, the dishes, etc. Let me be organized. Let me be artistic. Let me choose when I will rise up and when I will sleep. Let me choose how I will make money and spend it."
On this blog, we've tried to put a few inspiring stories and examples to help us all understand the worth of the homemaker and how she contributes to the home and to the business world and to the nation. We don't need to spend a lot of time defending it because we live it and it works. The ones that don't agree and don't like what is being said, should take a good look at themselves: are you really happy? Is your laundry caught up? Do you have clean sheets on the beds? Is the bathroom clean? Have you taught your child anything today? Did you pack your husband's lunch? Are you available to listen to his ideas? Are you clean and well dressed? Have you gotten rid of bad habits? Are you consistently engaged in arguments with other people, either online or off? Are you on time for appointments, or do you inconvenience others with your tardiness? If you are really happy and you have your life together, there doesn't seem to be any reason to attack me. It is a tremendous waste of energy that could be spent in creativitity. If you have time to debate people you have time to start your own little business at home and do something worthwhile. I realize some of the comments came from kids that read my parents blog because they found someone that stands up for authority and for order in the family and will not sympathize with adult children that run all over their parents. Parents can't be who they are supposed to be, and cannot have lovely homes and families if there are dissenters in their home that destroy the peace. It is the same with this blog. It is hard to be a homemaker when others are arguing about whether or not you should be doing it.
When summer is over we may invite more comments. Until then you can email ladylydiaspeaks@comcast.net
Beautiful family life and memories and pretty yards and houses are not created by unstable people, so if you think the homemaker and the ladies that want to earn money at home while watching over their families and houses are a little "off" then I would challenge you to get busy with your life and show something for it. The painting, above is by Dwayne Warwick, a current day artist, who paints many lovely pictures of cottages and other things.

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