Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Keeping Your Independence

(Photos from Pinterest)

This subject may not apply to everyone, but for the ladies who have had this problem, this is for you.

Keeping your independence at home can be quite a challenge because in your life as a homemaker,  from raising children to retirement years, there may be people that want to boss you around.  They like to control what you do and tell you how to live, even to the point of coming into your home and trying to dominate you and manage you.  Being a homemaker seems to attract these types who want to take your freedom away from you.  Though not everyone will experience this, it does happen to some people, and it can be quite disorienting.

There are those, also, who see homemakers as people who need to be ordered about. You can show that you know your business by not catering to other people's opinions, and by approaching homemaking in a professional way, not as though you are home to let yourself and everything else "go."  However, even if you have a sick day, other people are not authorized to tell you what to do just because you do not happen to be up and working every minute.

To keep your independence, you need to learn how much interference you can tolerate and how much is harmful to your family. There are those who come across as friendly but want to get you into arguments and conflicts about your values and beliefs when they do not agree with your decision to be a keeper at home.  The issue most often brought up by these people is that of earning money. They are focused on this and think you should be, too.  They cannot understand how you can possibly "make it" and they want to push you into their way of thinking.
 Your willingness to engage them in conversation and your availability may cause them to think you do not have serious, pressing work in the home, and they feel obligated to monitor you. It easy to allow these people, for the sake of peace and politeness, to regulate aspects of your life. You can lose your independence and fail to develop your creative side, if you become subject to them. They can slow you down and thwart your efforts to accomplish your plans.

Being at home requires you to be independent enough to plan your own routine.  Each lady at home determines what works best for herself and her family.  You can turn the tables on those who want to direct you in a different way, and teach them by  example. Be busy and be determined to keep your home the way you desire.  Be an example and a teacher of good things by the way you live. Avoid arguments by developing a few phrases such as, "This is the way that works best in my home," or "I have studied this and learned how to do this," and "I hope I can be what God wants me to be, in guiding the home." Few people can argue with "This is my choice. I hope it will bless my family and be a good example to others."  Those who have objections will realize your way of life is determined by a belief and by your faith.

Keeping your independence is important because you cannot be obligated to other people to do things with them or cater to them, when you need to attend to your family and things at home. It is easy to get attached to what other people are doing, and it is so important to be independent enough to run your own home and get your work done, as well as allowing yourself adequate rest and leisure.
If you have been regulated in the past by other people's schedules and demands, it will take some adjustment to work on your own.  Sit down for a moment with pen and paper, focus your thinking, and write down things you need to do.  Then, arrange the list according to what time in the day things can be done.  Follow your plan, making reasonable allowances for delays and interruptions, and always go back to the plan and continue where you left off. 

One reason to be an independent worker is to provide a good example to others of how to complete a task. Become self-motivated by trying to do your best and to please God.  Like the coney and the ant and other animals depicted in The book of Proverbs, ladies at home do not need any boss. Their king is Christ and their law is the Bible. They have intelligence enough to write it their hearts and follow it. Their live for The Lord privides incentive  and reward.

Below: papers from Graphis 45 company. Their papers are thicker than most, with sentimental scenes of years gone by that people are recreating today. I saw these in a craft store but did not buy any. I am still thinking about them so I found these on their website.  Type in Graphics 45 and see what they have.


Anonymous said...

This is such an important post. We do need to continually focus on what we are called to do by the Lord.
Very few will understand and encourage. Life is short, we need to focus and use each moment to do what He put us here to do.

Denise said...

I really needed this today. Sometimes we lose our own focus and need reminders about what's really important. Thanks for writing this!

Lauren said...

Dear Lady Lydia,

Thank you so very much for this post. It was exactly what I needed to hear and I appreciate it so much. The Lord has blessed me so very much through this post and I am so grateful.

Thank you!


Lydia said...

I have seen people trying to monitor homemakers and homeschoolers, they can be very pushy, causing the ladies to doubt their own abilities.

Julie said...

Lovely post. I have found discernment when speaking is very valuable. Disclosing too much information can invite unwanted attention to how one spends their time. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Lydia said...

True: we invite interference and pushy suggestions if we even reveal the slightest, normal problem to anyone not fully on board with our way of life.